Lions Led By Donkeys Podcast - *PREVIEW* Gary Brooks Faulkner and the One Man Mission to Hunt Osama Bin Laden

Episode Date: January 7, 2026

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So he knows that he is going to need to cross water on this hang glider, Nate, right? But that's dangerous. Hang gliding is dangerous. You could crash. If you crash into water, you could sink. You know, you don't sink. The Dead Sea. Boom.

Crackhead magic, baby. We're hang gliding in Israel. That is his whole reasoning for this. That is extremely funny. Oh, my God. And somehow he gets this disassembled hang glider, which almost certainly looks. like a bomb through airport security. He gets to a cliff

next to the Dead Sea and he puts it together and he locks himself into it and he prepares to jump. You want to guess how it goes? Badly, I presume. He crashes to the fucking earth and break several bones. Now, for most people,

this would be where you hang it up, you know? Not gliding, but just in general the idea that you're having. Or maybe smoke more crack. to get more in the mood. Not Gary. He goes back to the United States. He fixes the hang glider.

Bies another ticket to Israel. It flies fucking back to do it a second time. Mind you, the first time, he did not come anywhere near the water. He crashed into the fucking ground. But he goes back, jumps into the air, flies about five fucking seconds, and crashes to the ground again, breaking several more bones. Or as he put it, quote, Damn, I really crashed hard.

Okay. Okay. This time it seems like the pain was enough to convince him that, okay, maybe hang gliding isn't the solution to my issues. So he drops the whole hang glider idea. I assume the Israeli customs agents let him in because they knew this was going to be very funny. But after this, we need to pause and talk about Gary's mindset and how exactly he got this far at his quest. because, as you've noticed, this has been going on for two years now. We're now sitting in 2006.

This whole thing started in 2004. He has failed. He has somehow made it to Pakistan, been robbed. You know, if you believe him anyway, he has been hunted by al-Qaeda. He has gone to Israel twice to attempt to use a strange flying device and nearly died twice. But it's been two years, and he's still fully on board with this. And mind you, he has a weird amount of money for a homeless crack. addict to have

it is one man anti bin Laden crusade he is very clearly a troubled drug addict who found religion and a family who supports him even though he has said

the most insane shit you've ever heard right? Yeah. Like I've pointed out before I've made jokes about it on the show before I'm from a family

of addicts anyone who's listened to us long enough has heard me talk about it and I can say I've heard some wild ass shit from a few of them over the years

and generally speaking The answer, when confronted by something like this, is to try to help your loved ones in whatever capacity you can if you have any capacity at all. What you shouldn't do is fund the weird shit coming out of their mouth. Gary's family never once attempted to try to help their family member at all. They just reinforced anything he said. For example, it's not as though Gary was keeping his plants a secret. his family knew about everything from day one. He told his brother, who was a well-off doctor,

who occasionally helped fund his missions. And when a journalist asked his brother about this and his brother just kind of shrugged and said, well, it's perfectly normal for every American to want to kill Osama bin Laden, which, okay, I suppose. But not with a hang glider at Israel. Yeah, you're a little off target. Yeah, Jesus Christ.

I think it would be different if you're a weird uncle, you spoke to every once in a while said that, then like if he was making actionable plans of going to Pakistan with weapons. Normally if someone talks like this, they've got like the plan involves the grocery cart they've stolen. Yeah, sure. Not, not

international travel, band of mystery, sleeping outside of KAA's fucking gangstocking shit. Like, no, that's... I'm gangstalking Osama bin Laden. Osama bin Laden as toxic fans. Literally the only

resistance to his plans that Gary got. over any stretch was when Pakistan kind of sort of deported him because he showed up without a visa. But they didn't ban him from reentry for any period of time or he probably would have dropped it. That being said, I think this quote from Gary in the GQ article, which again, you can read all the sources and the show notes, pretty accurately sums up his mindset and how he probably would have ended up regardless, maybe. Quote, if you have the heart to go out and do something, you go and do it. If you have the mind to go out and do something, you're going to be in trouble. Because your mind is going to try and calculate and figure things out and talk you out of it.

Which, yeah, that's generally what complex thinking entails, Gary. Kind of. Yeah. And he's aware some people might think he's crazy. So don't worry. He has something to say about that too. Quote, I am the one that the Lord put his finger on and said, you're it. I accept that I take this responsibility all the way to the grave with me if I have to. When you really look at this story, you stop and think, okay, here's this guy now.

He is just crazy. He's a fool or what's happening. People just still don't get the real gist of what's happening. God making a statement. It isn't me. I'm just doing what I'm programmed to do through my fate. Nothing is actually a thought process. It's an emotion out of my heart because when I start thinking about stuff, I get confused.

I don't have a clue. I'll be the first one to say it. Well put, I suppose. That's how you end up angriading off the coast into the, ground. Yeah, Jesus Christ. And like, the thing that constantly comes back to me is all of this could be prevented, which Gary, spoiler, Gary does not die during his attempts to do this.

However, he very well could have. He could have put other people in danger as well because he's working with locals in a way, like giving them money to do things for them in Pakistan in a region that's in the middle of an insurgency. He's very clearly an American. I thought he never tries to hide from anybody. he's putting people at risk by being associated with them. But all of this could have been stopped if at any point all of his friends and family like set him down and talk to him or maybe committed him because he's obviously a danger to himself.

But none of that ever happens. You'd think. Yeah. So in the beginning of this episode, I alluded to the fact that Gary was arrested while in possession of a katana. Just to, again, there's another example of how intensely weird not only Gary. but his entire extended family and friend circle is. One day, while crashing in his cousin's couch, they were watching a TV show called The Knife Show,

which is something that aired back then. Gary saw a samurai sword he wanted, but because he was living on disability and food stamps, no shame there. I'm just pointing out the financial problems that come, you know, when you happen to be procuring random swords off the television. He couldn't afford it.

So his friend bought it for him. For the price of nearly $400, the same friend gave him a, bowie knife that Gary nicknamed the pig sticker, both of which he'd bring with him to Pakistan in his check package. Oh my God. He's a Colorado Ronan. This is insane. This guy. I feel like there should be more restrictions that check baggage perhaps. Maybe you should be able to put swords at it. All these things where it just seems like him being, oh, this is just a crazy old guy who's nuts, has worked in his favor to such a great degree. You know,

I mean in the sense that like normally you'd get flagged for something and then it would be slightly harder next time. So on and so forth until it becomes impossible. But instead it just feels like they're like, no. And this is only a couple years after 9-11. Just a goofy guy. It's just a goofy guy. Looks like Bob Seeger kind of. Yeah. Just take those old records off the shelf. I'm going to stab in Lodden by myself. Bob Seeger dancing around on stage wielding a sword. Bob Seeger live in the SWAT Valley Yeah, continuing the song

They say Al-Qaeda they ain't got no soul Because I'm a samurai from Colorado Oh, fuck God damn it!