Lions Led By Donkeys Podcast - *PREVIEW* Lions Led By Robots 8: Lube Proof Gun

Episode Date: June 25, 2024

This is a preview, for the full episode support the show on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/106875911?pr=true

Hey everyone, what you're about to listen to is a preview of a bonus episode that is available on our Patreon. If you like this clip, you can grab the whole episode, as well as years of other bonus content, at www.patreon.com slash lions led by donkeys. Jesus, I've seen what you've done for other people. To be fair, she shoots at him. Jesus, I've seen what you've done for other people. she shoots at him. Jesus, I've seen what you've done for other people. This is my favorite part of episode 19 where like, uh, he, uh, creeps through the woods to be a sex pest on, uh,

Neo Russia's team and the KGB woman just spins around and opens fire on him, which is what you should do to perverts to be good. I should be completely clear. I'm also like, where did she pull that pistol from because she's completely naked in the don't ask questions you do not want the answers to neo Russia has technology we have not seen it's either an unseen holster or that gun is like lube proof I don't know which one it is mr. Kalashnikov we need your science and help. How do we build a lube that does not irritate human skin, but does not jam a weapon? And the guy's like, wait, why do you need this?

Don't ask questions, don't ask questions. It's not part of your contract, you're not supposed to ask why. Yeah. They need to make a sequel to that movie that they made about Mikhail Kalashnikov designing the AK, about him designing the Lube Proof gun. This is what happens when you get the Kalashnikov movie and you take Flubber and you put them together. Once again, listen, we hate to bring it back, but if there's any country that's going to

invent the Lube Proof gun, it's going to be Israel. The only country that could make WhatsApp flavored ice cream. I've broken Joe. The only country that could make WhatsApp flavored ice cream. I've broken Joe. I'm trying to fathom what the fuck that even tastes like other than just like your phone annoy. Maybe this is just because we do all of our business through WhatsApp that whenever my phone vibrates, we're just like, God damn it, motherfucker. How do you make it?

How do you make a flavor of ice cream that inherently annoys the shit out of you? Once again, if there's any country that's gonna do it. That's true. And somehow it'll also all be funded by Boeing. If Boeing, if you're listening, please do not assassinate me. Very slippery staircase behind you. We also get after Sai's a pervert, every main character of like through these three episodes I guess we can just kind of collapse them all together because they're functionally one long episode

right? Like each episode follows a member of the Shuffle Alliance and every member of the Alliance is like crippled with self-doubt effectively because they got their asses kicked in by the Dark Gundam and Sai wants to fight Argo Golski but for some reason Argo doesn't want to because he's now you know he's getting very existential with his doubts about you know being us effectively a slave to the Russian state and fighting a child. You know, fair enough on Argo's part. He's doing Tolstoy shit. Crime and punishment and Gundams. Yeah, Tolstoy Gundam, you know, fucking.

Yeah. I mean, to be fair, they did make a Pride, Prejudice, and Zombies novel as a parody. We need a crime, punishment, and Gundams. I mean, if it was like Tolstoy and Dostoyevsky. I know that's Dostoyevsky, Fuck off, leave me alone, but come on. If they made Tolstoy and Dostoevsky Gundam, the battle will last about seven years and then nothing will happen except you learn a lot about farming.

It'd be the first Gundam with alcoholism built right in. And it's just... We tried to launch this Gundam into combat, but it fucking killed itself. And if it's the Dostoevsky Gundamam it's just gonna inextricably become like super Christian and a vegetarian in its 50s. Fuck, that could be any of these gundams to be completely fair that does this. Yeah. I mean they're already like meditating under waterfalls and shit like a college student

on a gap year in Thailand or India or something. The only thing they're missing, actually, fuck, Domo is exactly this, he even has a guru in the fucking German ninja. Yeah, he has. He's doing e-prey love shit. Yeah, and he's being taught by Hans Brudel on like how to be-

Hey, we don't, far be it from us to criticize the fine ancient Bavarian art of ninjitsu. Oh, yes, you know, ninjitsu is invented in a Saxony. I'm still completely baffled by this character. I know. He's magical, he's a ninja, he's German. His name is Schwartz, which is a dick joke from fucking Spaceballs. Like there's so many things at play here.

Schwartz, Bruda. Yeah. And like Sae Saeji- So your Schwartz is almost as big as mine. Yeah. So Sae Saeji wants to fight Argo Gulski. Gulski turns him down. He's like, I'm not interested in fighting with you. Then the monks appear. His like, Sae Saeji's handlers are like, Oh, can you fight him? He's kind of lost his spark. He doesn't really want to fight. Then the Russian camp is attacked by, um, fucking dragon gone. Something that looks like the dragon Gundam, but it's like

shooting flames in every direction. And we've seen before this that like the Russian, Neo Russia team has brought with them a fair amount of soldiers. And we hear like screaming and stuff when the flames go rushing into camp. So we get probably a mass murder going on here. Yeah, they took like a detachment of children's cartoon shows, so we don't see all of it. But like, it's implied. I mean, they took a detachment of soldiers from Afghanistan and like put them in fucking. Where is it there again? Oh, they're in fucking Guyana.

They're in fucking Guiana. So like, I don't listen. If there's any detachment of Russian soldiers in a weird place, it will probably be somewhere like Ghana. I mean, it explains why George to sound is hanging out there. France controls French Guyana, you know, George to sound experiencing extreme combat PTSD. They all have PTSD. That's the way they're like, they're all hallucinating. every member of the Shuffle Alliance is hallucinating they're getting wildly violent with one another trying to fight one another you get a scene where Domo is just like slapping his sword against a tree repeatedly not

sure why he can't achieve like Gundam Super Saiyan which like that's not what you use a sword for but like they're all dealing with like Gundam Super Saiyan, which like that's not what you use a sword for. But like they're all dealing with like Gundam based PTSD. Yeah. So I saw what there's a scene where Domo is just seeing floating master Asia had screaming and shit talking. Yeah. And like, so I saw he has like a panic attack and like falls off a cliff because he sees fucking the devil going to them like. Yeah. Not a lot of the good mental health care systems in the Neo world. Yeah, there's not a whole lot of mental health support for Gundam pilots.

You know, it's not great. You think about all the national resources that are expended in like putting a nation in space, they could at least afford better help. Get a Neo better help is the worst possible thing. Better help is like the most cancerous fucking things on earth. And like, I can imagine you call them and like, I don't know, they say something incredibly racist or tell you that like, have you tried retreating to the giant Saburo space station? Or you just get some of it doesn't speak the same language or something.

So yeah, so Argo essentially agree, like has a chat with Doman and he's like, I don't even enjoy fighting because Doman's like, why didn't you want to fight? Like this is the only time you're free because you're literally a prisoner like at any other time. And it's like, he's like, I don't actually enjoy fighting. The only time I've enjoyed fighting is fighting you. And then he agrees to fight Sai Sai Chi. You're my soul mate. And it's very funny because Sai Sai Chi throws a couple kicks at him whenever and does absolutely nothing to Argo and he's for some reason shocked by that. You're a literal child and Argo Golski is the size of a Gundam. Yep. And to be fair. Why would this hurt him? And I know these episodes are kind of filler,

but this fight was incredible because it doesn't use all the canned animations. Like all this stuff like was custom drawn and we get like a lot of motion and everything. It was pretty cool. I think they kind of had no choice because they had no canned animation for these two to fight one another. Yeah. And we do get Bolt Gundam, the Neo Russia Gundam, getting its arm torn off, which for some reason happens twice in three episodes yeah yeah you think like you'd learn from

the first time bad for the mechanics like you lost another fucking arm god damn it yeah and then how many Gundam arms could be being manufactured in Russia at any given time then it turns out that the death army so like the death army mobile suits were like the ones that burned down the Russian camp. They have like the dragon fire breathing thing that like dragon Gundam has and they're wearing like their Gundams have costumes. Yeah. Which tells me master Asia is very bored. Yeah. So no, you have to understand we have to craft all of these disguises. We have some cardboard, have some markers and crayons.

We'll do some arts and crafts time with the with the death army. But yeah, so Argo and Sae Saechi are like essentially like we can't fight. We're after kicking the shit out of each other. So like Domon has to fight the death army. But like the repairs on Shining Gundam aren't done. And he like he can't like control shining gundam but he uses his focus while fucking hand sprudel is like that whatever whatever rain was doing the maintenance caused it to just shock the piss out of him like

god why why would you do maintenance like this oh sorry i just left a whole bunch of loose wires everywhere in the cockpit i thought thought this was OSHA certified repairs. So yeah. I don't think OSHA is going to certify like a 16 year old Gundam mechanic. I think that he's like just, you know, Neo Japan is really trying to keep under the budget on this one. So they hired a Gundam mechanic off of Neo Craigslist. I don't know.

You can put Neo in front of anything and it applies.