Lions Led By Donkeys Podcast - Unlocked Bonus Episode: The Battle of Hogwarts

Episode Date: December 25, 2018

Unlocked Bonus Episode: The Battle of Hogwarts by

Hello and welcome to our first bonus episode of the Lions Led by Donkeys podcast. I am Joe, and with me today is Staff Sergeant Flynn Richardson of the United States Army. She has been in the Army about 12 years. It'll be 10 this month. Not even close. We've known each other now for almost 10 years. Met during our deployment to Afghanistan, which you can actually read in my book, The Hooligans of Kandahar, she's mentioned briefly.

And today we are going to talk about something in history I feel like is massively overlooked. And that is the Battle of Hogwarts. I felt like it'd be kind of cool uh we use our normal episodes to talk about things that are awful and dark and violent in human history and uh we can kind of use this one to have a good time um and i i don't think i've ever led on to it before in a normal episode but i I'm kind of a huge Harry Potter nerd. Um, I know many times have you read the book? It honestly depends on which book you're talking about. I know for a fact that the first five, I've probably read about three times each. Um, the last two, probably five or six times each. times each. The last two, probably five or six times each. I think I've read the books all at probably only one time because I normally don't read books more than once, but I've watched the movies probably a dozen times a piece. Between reading and listening, I've also listened to all

of the audio books. Oh, okay. Yeah, I know. I thought, so I know the books originally came out when I think I was in middle school. That's why I joke on Twitter a lot and I know I thought, so I know the books originally came out when I think I was in middle school. That's why I joke on Twitter a lot. And I know I've made a joke to you that I'm a Hufflepuff and everybody's like, it's fucking stupid. That doesn't make any sense. Because my middle school class, I think it was, I'm hoping it was the first one. I was, my teacher hated us. And they would divide the class into the houses um okay so i would imagine everybody listening this has at least a rough understanding of harry potter or you've skipped the episodes

i would hope so i'm not going to dive super deep into what all this means but uh you know we were all divided in the households and i got you know, it's completely random. They pulled the names out of the hat and I got picked into Hufflepuff. And in the preceding damn near 20 years of my life, I have claimed the house of Hufflepuff. So we were never divided into houses, but I started reading the books when I was 11 on a road trip with my grandparents. We stopped in North Carolina with some of their friends and they knowing that my grandparents were bringing two young kids with them bought a bunch of books and coloring books and crossword puzzles and stuff for us to keep entertained and ended up buying the second Harry Potter book the Chamber of Secrets so I read that on the way to Pennsylvania from North Carolina and then realized probably a few months after that that it was actually the second in a series.

And then my granddaddy ended up buying me the first one and then everyone after that. And I pretty much became obsessed i ended i i entered a drawing contest in eighth grade which was right when the movies were coming out and actually won a newspaper drawing contest to uh get six tickets to see the first movie so that was like when they had like lines and stuff for right oh yeah they we at borders every every year when the book came out at midnight my granddaddy would take me to borders to he would pre-order a copy and take me to go pick it up. Oh, man. Were you one of the people that get the.

Which book was it? Not the last one. Second, the last one. When the guy was driving, people were driving by the lines outside the bookstores and screaming like Snape kills Dumbledore. That definitely did not happen for me, but I can see it happening. I was already in the army, so I just kind of ordered it off Amazon. But, like, I saw it all over the internet. I can imagine if I was, like, 10 or whatever, I would fucking devastate me.

If I was 16, I would have been upset. Yeah, I was at least 17, I would have cried. Yeah, I was I was at least 17. I would being the first in-person interview that we've ever had. Not that we've had many interviews. We've only ever had one other one. But you're in the house. That's cool. So why don't you tell a little bit about the sources for this battle?

So obviously the main source is the seventh Harry Potter book or the Deathly Hallows. Surprisingly, this entire battle takes place in the last like two main chapters of the maybe three main chapters of the book, because there is the chapter called the actual Battle of Hogwarts. And then you have all of that, like after that chapter is complete complete which there's not really a ton of real battling during that chapter um but after that chapter is complete you have all of the source material with um Harry finding Snape and getting the memories from Snape where he finds out that Snape was in love with his mother and um there's a lot there's basically a lot of like story where Harry actually goes to the forest and gives himself up to Voldemort and comes out. And then the real battle begins. And that's like the last main chapter of the book.

Right. Well, before we get into the part where he pulls a Jesus and comes back, we have to talk a little bit about the background. And we've watched the movies quite a few times. Oh, yeah, definitely. And, you know, we we watched them. We've watched the movies quite a few times. Oh, yeah, definitely. And in the movies, I think the Battle of Hogwarts is rightfully kind of given the. The Battle of Helm's Deep treatment, I'm more of a Lord of the Rings nerd than a Harry Potter nerd. So like in the Battle of Helm's Deep is, of course, the the center part of this second Lord of the Rings movie. But it's only like two or three chapters long. In the book. And I mean. Admittedly I feel like Peter Jackson went the right way with that one.

Because it was awesome. But the movie makes this. It's all the movie is about. Effectively. So the Battle of Hogwarts. For people who may have read the book. Watched the movies. But aren't super nerdy. And into the mythos of the whole thing.

Is actually the third and final conflict of the second wizarding war um the second wizarding war is uh when voldemort um birth name tom riddle spoiler alert because this whole thing is a spoiler alert um effectively took over the ministry of magic uh with magical nazis uh they had courts in place where uh they try to find wizards who are involved with uh with mortals known as muggles in the book and uh and would punish them effectively for no so basically what they were saying is like during a considerate portion of the final book, they were rounding up any, cause in, in the Harry Potter series,

there are wizards who were born muggles. Um, squibs. No, no, no, no. That's a completely different thing.

So no, there are wizards who were born to muggle families, but who, who had magic powers. So they would basically come, they would get their letter, even though their parents were completely non-magical, and they would go to Hogwarts.

And that's who you would consider to be a mudblood, which is a racial slur pretty much in the wizarding world. So the mudbloods can be born of just mortals? Yeah, that's what Hermione was. Both her parents were dentists, or dental hygienists or something i always knew they were harnessing some kind of secret power yeah so squibs squibs are born wizards like they're born from wizarding families but they have no powers the janitor was a squib right Yeah. And so the Muggles basically were rounded up in the last book under Voldemort's and Thickness's regime. They were rounded up and they were trying to get them to, well, hand over their wands, first of all.

And they were trying to get them to admit who they stole their powers from, basically saying that they couldn't have possibly been born magical if they weren't born to magical families. So you're saying that you're, who are possibly looking for a final solution to the muggle question. I suppose. And that's, I don't know if that's something that a rattling was looking for is that not that the obvious ethnocentric Nazi thing. Oh,

I think she absolutely was. I think it's pretty obvious. Yeah. but that's effectively um voldemort and his army of death eaters and their allies who we will uh i guess just further known as voldemort's army um centered on hogwarts because obviously uh at this point of the book and the movie all of, oh is it two of the Horcruxes have been destroyed?

No, by the time they got to Hogwarts all but two. So there's the diadem and the well the diadem and the snake were left and he didn't know Harry was the first Horcrux. Yeah, see it kind of depends if you count Harry or not because Harry was definitely a Horcrux but Yeah, see, it kind of depends if you count Harry or not, because Harry was definitely a Horcrux, but

nobody knew until the very end. So they knew of two when they closed in and besieged Hogwarts. Okay, I would say they knew of three because they had the cup, but they hadn't destroyed it yet. Okay. And then they still had to find the diadem and kill Nagini. Okay, so they

encircle Hogwarts, and in the movie the encirclement of Hogwarts is pretty epic. It looks like a solid army group of Death Eaters, you know, like tens of thousands. They also have allies, which are Finnear Greyback, which is the werewolf. They have hundreds and hundreds of Death Eaters and Pious Thickness, who is the Minister of Magic, who is like a puppet. Death Eaters and Pious Thickness who is the Minister of Magic who is like a puppet because at this point they

completely control the Ministry of Magic which is Wizard Government so they have their Ministry of Magic collaborators with them and the opposing force here is not too impressive so at the

beginning because his whole thing is preserving magical blood uh he announces into um hogwarts that they need to give up harry potter or they're all gonna die effectively um so the exact warning that voldemort gives is quote, I know you've been preparing, preparing to fight. Your efforts are futile. You cannot fight me.

I do not want to kill you. I have great respect for the teachers of Hogwarts. I do not want to spill magical blood. Give me Harry Potter and none shall be harmed. Give me Harry Potter and I shall leave the school untouched. Give me Harry Potter and you will be rewarded. You have until midnight. And at this point, they had snuck into the school

and met with Dumbledore's army, which I guess you could call a fucking child militia. A very well-trained child militia. Well, I mean, imagine the worst soldiers you've ever had all teaching one another soldier skills. I have the worst soldiers you've ever had all teaching one another soldier skills i have the worst soldiers you could ever have so i can imagine that perfectly it was a child militia i won't go hitler youth because dumbledore was at least mostly a good guy but it was a secret military order of the school. And, and there was what,

two, three dozen of them. Wasn't that many? I would say, I would say about two, three dozen, but that's not, they're not the only ones. Oh yeah.

I just haven't, I haven't got there yet. And it was the, the Dumbledore's army who said, Hey, look, Harry's back. And that is when a professor McGonagall effectively took charge of the

school. Professor McGonagall, I'm assuming went to, you know, the British Military University of Sandhurst, like all good military commanders in England. She is an animagist. Is that how it's pronounced? More or less, yeah. And the best professor in the school outside of Dumbledore.

So I guess they're in charge of someone. Well, I don't know. outside of Dumbledore. So I guess they're in charge of someone. Well, I don't know. Remus was a teacher once. Remus was a teacher for one year and he was a great teacher, but nobody can ever compare to McGonagall.

Yeah, that's fair. After Dumbledore's dead, McGonagall's probably the strongest wizard that they have. And McGonagall whips up all these charms that um hogwarts has in its walls and its giant gargoyles and statues and its paintings and its suits of armor oh even to the school desks yeah it's uh the magical version of drone strikes um and and she controls it all and uh that's actually probably one of my favorite parts other than than when Neville mercs like a thousand dudes at once.

That only happened in the movie. That's canonical. And what we're talking about, that's part of the story. Absolutely. I think it's really, really interesting that, because I just read the chapter again. I haven't read the book in a couple of years, so forgive me a little bit. But I just think it's a little interesting that in the movie,

he literally kills like a thousand Death Eaters at once. Yeah, it's like a human wave. And in the book, it's not even a significant battle at first. Well, tactically, well, we haven't gotten quite to that part yet because it requires the barrier to be broken. And so on, we haven't gotten quite to that part yet because it requires the barrier to be broken.

We'll call them the allies because general allies are considered the good guys. On the ally side, you have the Order of the Phoenix, which you can consider something like a Teutonic military order but with wizards.

There's only half a dozen at this point. Cause they have put a few of them been killed off. Um, but they're the best wizards, uh, that they have to offer. I would imagine. Um,

you, I would, I would say that they are significantly more well-trained than most of the death eaters because a lot of the death eaters just either got out of Azkaban for however many years. And it seems pretty obvious. And, or have just been hiding under rocks for the entire time that,

that Voldemort has been out of commission. So, yeah. And that's, and you know, that's one of like the overall narratives. The entire thing is that the death eaters are kind of two faced assholes and none of them fight fairly.

The only one that's even remotely powerful straight up is Voldemort. Weird, you mean war is dirty? They don't fight like gentlemen is what I'm saying. Bellatrix, even though she kills my favorite character in the entire series, she doesn't do it in one-on-one combat. She just kind of surprises them. Serious? Yeah.

Serious has his back turned. She fires the killing curse at him, and when he turns to defend it, he's hit and he's killed. Oh, absolutely. Bellatrix is a bitch. Yeah, fuck her. And she killed a house elf.

I mean, not to be magically racist here, but they're hardly even a sentient species. I mean, there's a reason why, why nobody ever takes them seriously. It seems to be a little magically racist. You know, that's a, I'm just saying that their blood's impure.

I'm going to have to stop you there. I think we're going in the wrong direction in this. I'm just saying the camp would be very small. No. And they are the, the allied forces and there's a Dumbledore's brother. And there's a few ours who are the magical policemen who managed to stay free of the,

of the ministry. It should be said that the, that the household force was actually pretty significant. And if you can, yeah. And if you can take anything from what um dobby was able to do in his last stand pretty much at the malfoys they're they're pretty magical like and if they were all freed elves and able to perform magic at their will they'd be a pretty big force they can use

magic without wands absolutely yeah most magical creatures can they're just they're they're restricted by laws and everything like that but the house house elves if they're free i mean dobby dobby did a lot of damage in the malfoy house just from his non-wand magic so maybe that's why they are enslaved maybe the wizards were afraid of the house elf empire or something be surprised because i mean dobby effectively one-on-one beats Lucius Malfoy, which isn't saying a whole lot because Lucius Malfoy is a huge twat, but still, I mean, it's saying something. Um, but with a McGonagall's charms, they effectively create a giant, um, uh, magical dome over the school. And when, once that's in place, the Death Eaters kind of buckle down

and start firing indirect fire at the wizards within the school. And this is where I can be a little critical of Hogwarts. They have no counter-battery fire to shoot back. They know they're at war. They've accepted that they're at war because they didn't give up Harry Potter. And actually, I forgot a part.

Before we get to the part where people start shooting at each other. Everybody. So when that announcement was made to give up Harry Potter, of course, the Slytherin house and a few, I think it's a few from the other houses as well. It's like, fuck Harry Potter. Let's give him up. It was like, fuck Harry Potter, let's give him up. So the school goes really, really fast from being like this bastion of liberty to creating a child prison in the basement. Oh, no, no, no.

They evacuated them. They put them in the dungeon. Those are McGonagall's exact words. No, they evacuated the majority of them. Because the same way that Harry and Ron and Hermione were able to get in through Aberforth's little secret entrance through the hot seat. Well, I know they didn't evacuate the Slytherins because they just would have joined the ranks of the Death Eaters. They're the ones they put in the basement. They did. They evacuated.

Not in the movie. Okay, in the book, they evacuated them. In the movie, they might have taken some liberties. I'm not saying the movie's wrong here. I feel like those little bastards should have been thrown in jail as well but i mean they were hitler youth for sure i mean they're not great but they're also not criminals so let's let's ease up i mean also i feel like i hate to say that they hit to use they're asking for it as it as a thing. But like Hogwarts knew this existed the whole time. And they're just like, well, it's a Slytherin house.

No, like some professors like guys, there's like literally the Hitler youth are breathing down the hallway. Just a touch more regulation in Slytherin. It might have been a good call. Once a whole bunch of blonde kids start hanging out together and kicking out everybody else, you need to look at them sideways. That's beyond Hitler Youth. That's also Children of the Corn. One of my worst nightmares. Blonde kids.

Blonde kids are the worst. Blonde kids are the worst. So going back, the dome is over Hogwarts, and it's being hit by the incoming spells. Never really says what spells they are, of the Death Eaters. And Hogwarts doesn't actually have any way to shoot back. I feel like that was a pretty big oversight on the defense of the Hogwarts thing. Well, their counteraction was just to be pretty much strategizing while the Death Eaters were breaking down the barriers.

They knew the barriers weren't going to hold. Their counteraction was to just be in place and ready for when that happened. And we don't know when these charms are put in place. So we can't really judge it like the Maginot line or anything. If I'm going to try to think of a really bad historical allegory here. I'm going to try to think of a really bad historical allegory here because like we don't if it was if it was after the first wizarding war and then we can absolutely say it's a really big oversight because like you should probably find a way to shoot back. So I feel like we should distinguish this here and now because this is the Lions led by donkeys podcast. Would Voldemort be the donkey in this scenario um well so there's a few different ways that you could look at that um from from the my deep scholarly research on this article

um i found a few people who broke down the battle and like the commanders of that battle which is kind of i would disagree with on some of them like it has a higher thickness a pious thickness as a commander of the death eaters he doesn't fight with them he does fight with him he's just definitely not any in any sort of command position he's definitely just a puppet to the death eaters i would say that command and control of the forces in general at this play amateur at best because um in mcgonagall's defense she's mostly commanding children that's fair and she's also not a military commander you don't know that you don't know that maybe she had a long

incredible career in the british forces before she retired to work at hogwarts that could be true but i'm gonna go ahead and say it's not yeah it's probably not true but uh so like uh it also has voldemort listed it has belttrich's lestrange listed it has fenner grayback listed so we have to interject here that the majority of the death eater commanders are clinically insane yes um lucius melfoy is also listed um so or cowards yeah or yeah and he fucking defected uh but so if i was to list a real donkey here i would assume it would have to be voldemort because uh the entire thing is um but as we have said in other podcasts pralines and dick he's got some good ideas but also he does it really really really badly well he just doesn't

have a good grasp of what he's up against because of the whole theme of the book, which we'll get into, I suppose. He's got a fucking brain full of acid or something because it was his whole idea to split his soul into multiple parts of the Horcrux. And because he was some kind of luminary wizard, he should know how all this works. But he doesn't have a good track record. I mean, this is his second Wizarding War he lost the first one to a toddler and now he's about to besiege a was effectively a magical

high school and still lose even though he has outnumbered logistics are definitely better he has significantly more experienced forces at his disposal because if you take away the um the uh professors of hogwarts and you have to remember some of them aren't exactly teaching

things that apply here like some of them someone's teaching herbology you got magical history yeah you have the magical hey hey you lay off history you have the magical history teacher who's fucking boss um and you have a few other people who like the magical history teacher who's fucking boss. And you have a few other people who like. The magical history teacher was a ghost, I believe. That's on brand. That's oddly on brand. You know, Minerva McGonagall definitely fought during the First Wizarding War. Their defense against a dark arts teacher was a death eater.

So he's not fighting for them. And then you have and then they cut their their um their numbers in half even more because uh mcgonagall orders all the underage students to run so and rightfully so yeah i mean honestly if you're against the wall why not some child soldiers they're all going to die anyway um it worked in africa so uh it didn't it didn't actually you can listen to the multiple podcasts we've had about the wars in africa that tell them that's all bad and that's a really bad joke but um so then no kind of numbers are ever given for the like the class sizes so we'll just spit

well i went to a really really big high school of like a thousand kids. Well, but you have to realize that you're, okay, so your high school was in the metro Detroit area. This is the wizarding school for the entire European region. Well, this is like the UK because then there's Durmstrang and there's the one in France. Right. So we know of three and possibly four if there's a wizarding school in America. I'm sure there is. But I mean, this is a regional school, so it's much, much larger than your high school. Yeah, I'm going to.

So this is the central wizarding school for England, Wales, both Ireland, Scotland, stuff like that. OK, so let's let's throw him a bone here 2000 because i mean the wizarding population isn't exactly very large no and then whatever number i'll say a quarter of that number is of age uh the senior class that's fair so you're dealing with like a battalion maybe not even a quarter. Yeah, maybe not. Yeah. Because this is also around the same time that the Minister of Magic appointed headmask,

headmistress was in charge. Can't remember her name right now. Flora Sunbridge. No. Well, she chased a lot of kids off. No. Okay, so you and I had this conversation before this.

You're remembering things wrong. So Dolores Umbridge left Hogwarts after the fifth book and did not return. Well, then Snape was in charge. Snape was in charge. And yeah, yeah, for sure. A certain number of people took their kids out of school. Yeah, I think that's probably true. But Dolores Umbridge had nothing to do with it.

Well, I mean, she lost half the Weasley family. Just Fred and George. They're the good half. But they were in the battle. Yeah, that's true. They came back. Well, they didn't go far. They only went to Hogsmeade to open their little trick shop.

Yeah. So they didn't exactly run away very far. No, they just didn't go to school anymore. So let's give them some benefit of the doubt and give them a whole battalion of people that are ready to fight. About 500. Let me fact check you right here before somebody else says they were in Diagon Alley, not in Hogsmeade. Were they? Yeah. Oh, yeah, you're right.

They were there big time. Because Hogsmeade is just like the little vacation spot, huh? No, it's just where the school kids get to go on the weekends and stuff. Oh, they get the little passes? Yeah. Okay. So they have about 500 people, give or take. And that's with reinforcement from the couple dozen

Port of the Phoenix. And maybe a few hundred more than that when they're reinforced by house elves and the centaurs. Though the centaurs aren't magical. They just have bows and arrows and shit. Oh, they're definitely. I'm sure they have some sort of. I mean, they have.

It never shows them being magical. They have like astrology and stuff like that, which isn't exactly a fighting force, but they do have their bows and arrows. They are. They are a very militant force, and I think they're very organized. They seem when they roll on Umbridge in the woods that one time and she choked that one guy out um so all these forces are arrayed and they're under fire and uh hogwarts has no real way to fire back uh so they're sitting in there um trying to come up with a strategy to defend themselves and that that is when they came up with the, the Neville suicide bomb method on the tunnel,

which in the movie, right. And it's the flash year of the two. So I think I'm going to go with that one. But all this is because he needs to kill Harry. Harry needs to kill him. And so they're all going to destroy a school together. And that is when, how exactly does the barrier finally break?

So in the book, it's actually not really clear. They just kind of say, okay, we have to start strategizing and get this together before the barrier breaks because it's not going to hold long. have to start strategizing and get this together before the barrier breaks because it's not going to hold long. In the movie, Neville goes out onto the bridge where all of the Death Eaters are literally standing at the barrier. Oh, they're the Snatchers. That's what they're called. At the edge of this bridge.

Well, the Snatchers are just the people. They're not even necessarily Death Eaters. They're just bounty hunters. They're just thieves and shit. They're the ones that are stalking them in the woods. I'm sure they would fight with the Death Eaters so there's probably

quite a few of them there they're probably getting paid for it yeah they're shitty mercenaries who kind of suck at magic that's all that is they're just people

trying to make money and don't really have a moral compass when it comes to that so they're just working for whoever's gonna pay them and that's the Death Eaters at this point

so but they're, yeah. So Neville goes out onto the bridge in the movie and all of the Death Eaters are standing at the edge of the magical barrier. I double checked. You are correct. Slytherin was evacuated. Thank you.

Which I disagree with anyway. You can disagree all you want. I feel like it was a huge plot hole McGonagall's plan. All right. That's all I'm saying. Well, I mean, she's a moral human being,

so I didn't say she had to hang them. Jesus. But to trap them in the dungeon in the middle of a battle. Well, at this point, if you hide all, because I mean, those are the Death Eaters kids.

If you put them in the fucking basement, I would put them at the front line. They wouldn shoot at you no so that's actually that's actually a key line in the book i can't remember who says it to harry um no aberforth uh dumbledore's brother says that he says you let all of the all of the slytherin kids go um if you had held a couple of them hostage they're the death eaters kids you probably could have gotten somewhere and harry says that's not what your brother would have done. No shit. His brother would have had some convoluted plot plan that required Harry to die two more times.

Harry had to die. That's just the fact. That's not Dumbledore's fault. It's Dumbledore's fault for not telling him. Dumbledore's kind of an asshole. I'm not saying Dumbledore's flawless. I'm saying that he had his reasons for doing what he did. I'm just saying the real Dumbledore died in the middle of the second and third movie when the first actor died.

And the other guy's a crisis actor. I feel like I can't really talk to you about this if you're only going to reference the movie. So, yeah. this if you're only going to reference the movies so uh yeah so it um and they met at the bridge and who are part uh death eaters part uh snatchers part all the the dementors hadn't shown up quite yet because it's another scene entirely um it's just basically their main fighting force the for the death eaters and against neville who's on the other side of this barrier and he's just he just happens to be standing there I think he's trying

to reinforce the barriers as the barrier breaks against all of their powerful magic so he's just standing there when the barrier comes up and there's a thousand Death Eaters right across from him pretty much and Neville who's the real hero of the story,

stares down the army group facing him and just says, yeah, and who's army? And he said that to a whole army. I mean, Neville's a badass. Neville is a badass. And I feel like if Harry would have failed, Neville would have found a way. That was actually part of Harry's plan.

Harry made sure that Neville knew what had to be done before he left because he knew that Neville would carry it out. Yeah, because Neville doesn't fail. Neville gives up. Neville going to give you up. So Neville leads them across the bridge. And in the movie, this is planned. In the book, it might not be as part of the giant trap. In the book, it doesn't happen at all.

Okay. So in the book, it doesn't happen. But in the movie, it's a giant plane trap. Because in the movie, there's only one bridge leading on Hogwarts which is a solid kill spot choke point for our young soon to be martyrs of Hogwarts and Neville

runs across the bridge they all follow him and then the bridge blows up and he kills like 500 people and unfortunately it never says how Neville's handling that these days it never goes to him

and what does it say, mungos I'm sure he had some therapy but he's a well adjusted teacher yeah I'm sure he doesn't dive under his desk every time the kid knocks something on the floor I'm seeing the snatchers

faces again. And that is when they make their way into Hogwarts. Hogwarts isn't breached. The barrier is down. Even though the bridge is blown up, guess what? They're fucking magic. They can fly. They can apparate. They're in Hogwarts and the battle starts. You can't apparate

into Hogwarts. Well, everything else is broken. Why not? Okay, so I should add that in the book, what they're in Hogwarts and the battle starts. You can't operate into Hogwarts. Uh, well, everything else is broken. Why not? Um, so, okay. So I should add that in the book, um, what actually,

what happens during this point is that Harry, Ron and Hermione go into the room of requirement to destroy the diadem. Um, because McGonagall says the whole point of this battle is for you to get the final pieces and destroy them so that you can destroy Voldemort. And, um, so Harry, Ron, and Hermione go into the

Room of Requirement. They find the diadem. They're battling with Malfoy and Crabbe and Goyle and they start the... That's another complaint I have. He does not kill Malfoy. Well, you know, good and evil. You know what?

Sometimes she's just gotta be done anyways the whole Malfoy family needs to be wiped from the earth so when they go into the room of requirement there's basically some you know some rocks are falling and the castle's starting to be attacked

but when they come out it basically says that the battles deteriorated a lot since they, since they went in, there's a lot that's gone on. There's not really a key starting point to the battle in the book. It just happens while they're in the room of requirement. Right.

So outside of, outside of the room of requirement, I can assume that the blown up bridge works as a, it's a really good choke point. And then they just float over the bridge because wizards don't need bridges. They could just use a broom that you can buy from the fucking corner store. And this is where one of my major complaints through the whole battle comes. And this is more from the movies for sure because you can

see it visually and in the book it's just kind of implied and that is so the Death Eaters which like I said magical Nazis or whatever they're all using killing curses and the good guys don't but they still kill them

it is a little bit murky. I'll definitely agree to that. And what is it? What's the Weasley's mother's name? Molly. Molly. Molly definitely uses a killing curse against Bellatrix Lestrange. We'll see.

Okay, so it's really kind of hard to say because the only definite killing curse is Avada Kedavra. And it's green. Which is a... The colors don't matter. kind of hard to say because the only definite killing curse is avada kedavra which is which is a it does the colors don't matter well she fires a green curse set her mass at bellatrix who's strange and then she dies in the movie right um but the so yeah so like i said the avada kedavra is the only like named killing curse in the wizarding world and it's an unforgivable curse so the good guys aren't supposed to use it. Imagine it's waved in a situation like this,

but pretty much all it says. I mean, I I'm guessing like a, a finally aimed stunning curse or something like that would, would do as much damage because it says that she aims a curse directly over Bellatrix's heart and Bellatrix falls and dies. Well, yeah,

I mean, she got hit on the third floor of Hogwarts. If she gets stupefied 20 feet down, she's dead as fuck. Yeah, I think just some well-aimed destructive or stunning curses are probably going to do

as much damage as a killing curse. Arthur Weasley and Kingsley Shacklebolt are both seen using unforgivable curses during the war. Harry uses unforgivable curses

too. Several times, yeah. But at the same time, this can kind of be waived because the Ministry of Magic is controlled by magical Hitler. Hey, war is hell. And the Ministry of Magic

is the one that controls who can and can't use killing and unforgivable curses. So why would you stop yourself? Because they're still the good guys and eventually... They use guns. Eventually a regular minister of

ministry of magic is going to be resumed. That's, that's not wrong, but the future ministry, a minister of magic Kingsley Shacklebolt is in the battle killing people. So it's like, you know what time to throw it out. Um,

and, and then, you know, the bodies start piling up. Um, uh, the, one of the Weasley twins is killed.

Um, Lupin is killed. Tonks is killed um lupin is killed tonks is killed um several unnamed students are killed you just kind of see the camera pan over them in the movies and everybody's like really depressed because they realize the shit they've been learning for several years like really kills people and you know and uh werewolves are running around disemboweling people we should we should add in here that you know normal soldiers in a war they're trained to Yeah. And werewolves are running around disemboweling people. We should add in here that, you know, normal soldiers in a war, they're trained to go to war. That's what they're, I mean, even if they're not necessarily always put into that scenario,

they are trained in the scenario that they will eventually be fighting to kill or fighting against somebody trying to kill them. These are just students that were thrust into this. Well, the Wolverines in Red Dawn did okay. That's what I'm saying. And you can tell this wasn't a school in like America because the Death Eaters would have shown up to like Detroit Central High School or something. And like the four shitty depressed suburban kids with guns in their locker would have ended this immediately. Or all the ones that had knives on them. Yeah.

Like someone would just pit a death eater against the locker and stab him a couple of times. Like, I think I told you the story of how the kid got stabbed with a sword in the bathroom like my first day there. Like, wizards didn't stand a fucking chance. But this, you know, being England, they have to kill each other with magic, which is equally cool, I guess. So, you know, the the the bodies are piling up. It doesn't really show any kind of losses for the Death Eaters outside of the giant ambush there at the bridge. I can assume they're losing a certain amount of people here. I can assume they're losing a certain amount of people here I think the key here is that

the people in Hogwarts care about their losses and the Death Eaters don't no and that's pretty obvious which we have to like I said before we have to pick Voldemort as the as the donkey but also the prelens to the dick

because while he really sucked at this whole wizard war thing, he did take over the entire government. Well, he's without breaking a sweat. He's sort of the ultimate like wizarding sociopath here because and this is why he's so like. And he drops his own followers like without even thinking about it. Absolutely. I think he picks up the elder one is just like, I'll just kill this guy over here. Yeah, whoever.

Everybody's cool. It really doesn't matter who it is. He doesn't care about anybody. And he says that multiple times. And that's why he's so underprepared for this battle. And you say he's battling against high school kids and everything else. But he's so underprepared for this battle because he literally thinks that he's so under prepared for this battle because he literally is thinks that he's fighting

against other people who have the same mentality as him and who don't care about what they're fighting for only to live and to have power and that's just inaccurate but that's the only thing he knows so that's the only thing he sees you know and that's then i know they make quite a few affectations in the book about uh you know he he lost because he had no love and that's why harry potter won is because his parents loved him um but like everybody was making him sound like some kind of like wizard weapon of mass destruction and uh he had like the worst organized force of anybody in the series of books like this centaurs were better the fucking sentient statues were better um slytherin house stood up to harry potter better than these guys did i think it's really easy to be a weapon when

you don't care about what you're fighting against you only care about winning but that can only take you so far at the same time like you kind of have to have a an ultimate goal and his only ultimate goal is to just live and yeah and that's part of like the trope of the death eaters all suck because they're just snidely whiplash type evil characters where they're all sniveling little lower piece of shit. And they're all disposable. Right. And there's another thing is like the Death Eaters and the pure blood families are more than just like pure bloods

because like the Weasleys are pure bloods and they still hate them just because they're poor. You have to be a bougie pure blood to be a member of the Death Eaters. They hate them because they're blood traders because they, they associate with mud bloods and their dad's the head of the ministry of muggle affairs or whatever.

Right. Which has to be the worst. Yeah. So even if, even if they were pure, they were poor and pure bloods, like they would still be welcomed into the, no,

they would still be welcomed into the ranks, but because they're, they're muggle sympathizers, that's why they're hated. I don't know. I that they're um i don't know what like the oh you're from the south so you're gonna hate me for making this joke um but uh i don't know what like this shitty rule part of england is where this um this tagline would work like just make wizarding great again or something. You know, like,

uh, cause the people who are, who are a broken shit, like that, it doesn't show them. It shows people like Lucius Malfoy, who has a fucking sheath for his wand and has more gel in his hair than, uh,

like the rest of the cast combined and has fucking elf slaves. You don't see any of that. And like, and then the series and the black family is another, a serious black family, not just like the black family. That sounds really bad out of context. No,

I mean, it is the black family. They, they span across a lot of the, sure. But like just saying that I know our sounds really bad. Yeah. But I mean,

even Tonks is, is related to the black family. But like, if you look at sounds really bad. Yeah. But I mean, even Tonks is related to the black family. Right. But like if you look at the if you look at the black family, they're pure bloods and they're absolutely death eaters for the most part outside of Sirius. And they're rich as shit. They have mansions. And reckless. Yeah.

But newly reformed right before he died. You don't see any fucking poor death eaters. No, that's true this is like supply side fascism i mean there's got to be though because if they had that much manpower in their force they i mean it can't just be the main characters that we saw there's got to be some background characters that we didn't know about or something i feel like it depends well there has to be some also pedigree lived as a rat for like 15 years. Yeah.

And, you know, props to Ron's brothers for not pointing out on the Marauders map that there was a man sleeping with their brother for years. And they're like, we love you too, man. Yeah. We accept you. So props to them and their progressiveness. The Weasleys are a very progressive family they are they have to be because the uh the purebloods don't like them they have to find somebody that likes them you know and I think it depends on like if you're coming from the movie angle they have thousands and thousands of allies well think of it as like the confederacy it was all ruled by racist rich people well it was

also fucking the line infantry wasn't full of dudes with stock portfolios there's just dudes who believe in the dumb shit that their commanders did so what i'm saying is they're like they're the shitty magical confederacy of nazis and then you know the battle's going on inside the school and then there's a break and that is when they destroy one of the horcruxes right and that's when he challenges Harry to one on one combat they actually destroy

two of them right before or right before slash during the battle so it should be known that this is known as the skirmish at the quad battlements Hermione and Ron go down to the chamber and that's where they get the boss list things. And they destroy the cup, which is Hufflepuff's cup, which was one of the horcruxes that they found in Bellatrix's vault. And then they bring the basilisk basilisk things up with them while Harry goes into the room of requirement.

They all go to the room of requirement. All they all go to the room of requirement. But they find the diadem and actually ends up getting destroyed by the fire. Right. The fire, a fury fire. I can't remember. I believe it is the fury fire. Yeah.

That's what crab sets. There's a goyle. They're both kind of interchangeable. So they're, they're planning on bringing it out and destroying it with the basket basil thing but they end up destroying it with a with a fire and why does the fury fire well why can't it destroy horcruxes because it's a evil magical curse fire pretty much okay it's evil evil fire is in comparison to the good fire even even if it hadn't been able to he had the crown when they came out of it. So they would have been able to destroy it regardless.

It just happened to be one of the things that was able to destroy it. And then, you know, props to them because like every other movie on Earth, cool guys don't look back at explosions. Well, and also in the movie, they do destroy it with a thing. I thought they destroyed the fire in the movie too. So, oh, fiend fire. It's called fiend fire. Let's fire with a Y because it's England. Um, so after the fire, uh, consumes the entire room, um, crab dies, uh, because fuck him.

And, uh, Harry saves everybody else because he's just too goddamn good for his own, for his own good. for his own good um and that is when um uh fred and percy uh start dueling um and that i was wrong pious thickness does show up here and starts fighting um but he is actually the imperious curse from the death eaters um which is uh i think after the battle you said that it's where like they all claim it no we weren't fighting on our own free will we were all just brainwashed by the imperious curse yeah and that happened after the first battle too which is why a lot of the death eaters were able to once um voldemort went missing after he um tried to kill harry potter the first time um a lot of the death eaters claimed to be under the Imperius curse and all of that stuff. And they were able to live normal lives after Voldemort was gone.

And they basically did the same thing after the second Wizarding War, that they were under the Imperius curse and had no mental faculties or whatever. Yeah, which is what I plan on doing the next time that I'm arrested. And it was around this time that Fred gets killed which sucks that one hurt I read this book fucking 10 years ago over 10 years ago I was a little younger and more emotional

now I'm dead inside they all still hurt me when Fred died but then when Remus and Tonks died that fucking killed me because I love them and I don't think the movie did them justice, honestly. No, and when you didn't, I don't think even in the book

you knew it until Harry was walking. They saw the bodies. Yeah, Harry's walking down the line of the dead in the Great Hall. Well, that's kind of how they showed all of them dying.

Like, Harry doesn't see Fred die. No, he does. Does he? I thought, I could have swore just saw the body laying on the ground. No, he actually sees Fred die. And he, so he sees Fred die and then he just saw the body laying on the ground. No, um, he actually sees Fred die. And he,

so he sees Fred die and then he, he just sees the bodies of everybody else. Um, and it is then I think that, um, it kind of dies like the battle dies down and everybody's like, Oh man, people are actually dying.

And that is the, uh, the break, right? Or is that, and then that's when Voldemort breaks in and like, oh, man, people are actually dying. And that is the break, right? That's when Voldemort breaks in and says, okay, you guys have fought valiantly. I'll give you this time. Basically, I'm retreating. I'll give you this time to care for your wounded.

Well, that's when he finds out that he isn't the master of the Elder Wand. And that's when he has to kill Snape. No, I think it's during the break that he does kill Snape. Right. That's what I mean. It's like he's like, you can bury your dead, whatever. And that's when he realizes that he can't use it. Yeah.

And then. Which is probably the second most devastating death. After you figure out what he died for. Yeah, yeah. And it's worse when Alan Rickman died in real life. It's fucking terrible. I was literally yelling at a podcast that I was listening to the other day

that was trying to remember the name of Severus Snape's actor. I was in my car yelling, Alan Rickman, it's fucking Alan Rickman. So it is, Voldemort gives him one hour. It's a one-hour armistice. He says, quote, You have one hour. Dispose of your dead with dignity

and treat your injured. And Harry watched Snape die, and that's when he hears Voldemort's magically amplified voice speaking to everybody. And then he's specifically speaks to Harry, giving him one hour to surrender. That's what the armistice is for is you have one hour to surrender or I'm going to kill you and all of your friends. And because Harry is Harry he doesn't he does

well he does but I mean he has to figure out why first though right like he doesn't like enough and I still don't believe if Harry didn't know any of the Horcrux stuff it was just him staying there dying along with all of his classmates like I still don't think he would

have done it and even if he did I don't think he would have done it. I think he would have. And even if he did, I think Voldemort would have killed anybody anyway. Because if Harry's dead, he controls everything. He's not going to let his whole school load of people who stand against him survive. It's going to be a giant fucking massacre. What?

He said if Harry surrenders, everybody else survives. Oh, no, because he doesn't want the spilling of magical blood. He's just going to make them bend to his will after Harry dies. And anybody who doesn't like it's a sociopath's way of thinking. So he says, I don't want any of you to die. I want you to be protected. So, you know, so, you know, as long as Harry's gone, you guys can serve under me and be fine. But anybody who doesn't serve under him, they're committing a completely separate transgression.

And that's worthy of death also. Yeah, but he doesn't seem like a very forgiving type of guy. That's what I'm saying. He's not. That's why I think, like, if Harry surrenders and the entire school is like like our bad, Tom, we didn't mean to stand against you. Like it's not it's not it's not a matter of forgiving. It's a matter of like he may not be a forgiving man, but he is a man of his word. And he's going if he tells you, if you do this, you're going to live.

Then if you do this, you're going to live. live but then if you try to stand against him again or if you make any other sort of rebellion or anything like that which dumbledore's army and the um order of the phoenix and all of them absolutely would even with harry dead um then that's a completely separate transgression one that he didn't promise you life against and then he's going to kill you i still think he'd kill everybody you're wrong. I mean... I mean, he just randomly drops the people that follow him for fucking various frivolities. They don't matter.

That's true, but he is... Like, he doesn't lie. I guess you're right there. He's an evil son of a bitch for sure, but he doesn't lie. He doesn't have a reason to because he thinks he's the most powerful wizard that ever was to live.

So what he tells you is true is going to be true yeah I guess he never really had a reason to lie but I feel like the mixed blood people who were fighting in Hogwarts were definitely fucked they were going to be separate

but equal that normally works out okay history shows it never ends badly. Exactly. So it's around this time during the, that arm assistant Harry goes out and meets them and Harry dies. Because

the whole thing effectively boils down to he needs to kill Harry and he needs to be able to control the Elder Wand, but he never will because, uh, Dumbledore was the holder of the elder wand. Um, and he thinks Snape killed Dumbledore.

And when reality Snape killed Dumbledore with Malfoy's wand, no Malfoy killed him. Right. So, okay. So here's, here's the whole breakdown of this. Um,

the whole legend of this. The whole legend of the Elder Wand is the wand has to be... You have to be beaten for it to be taken from you. It has to be disarmed or killed. So the way that Dumbledore planned it out, because he already knew that he was dying. Right. The second he found the ring. Right.

He had a debilitating illness that was going to kill him regardless and he didn't want malfoy to be the one to take him he wanted it to be on his own terms right and he didn't want to take malfoy's innocence blah blah blah blah so um he planned it out with snape so that snape would be the one to kill him which would mean that snape would neither be disarming him against his will or killing him against his will it would be a planned out thing which would ultimately it words it better in the book so I'm I'm not doing this justice but it would ultimately take away the magic of the elder wand it would disarm the elder one because Dumbledore planned out his death. Because he didn't lose. Right right exactly he didn didn't lose. He planned it. Even a half-dead

Dumbledore would be able to beat Snape's ass. Well, it just, that's exactly it, though. He didn't lose. You have to lose for the Elder Wand to be taken from you. But his plan is thwarted when Malfoy's the one that disarms him. Right.

And that's when he kills Snape, thinking he needs to kill Snape to have the elder wand and at that point he thinks that he has it and that's when he kills Harry Harry goes through his his Jesus phase where he dies and that's what and he survives because he was given the resurrection stone, right? No. So basically the only thing the resurrection stone gives is you get to see the people who have died and talk to them. So why does he come back to life? He comes back to life because one, because Voldemort used his blood to resurrect himself. So he can't kill him.

So he can't kill him. It's like a video game. You don't really die. You just get KO'd. Yeah he can't kill him. So he can't kill him. Um, it's like a, a video game. You don't really die. You just get KO'd. Yeah, pretty much. Okay. Um,

so that, that's kind of, that's kind of the magic behind it is that, um, since, since Harry has Voldemort's blood running through his veins. Um, I think it's noticed cause that part,

it says, uh, Harry says, I saw him with triumph in his eye yeah and that's because when he knew it was at the the goblet

of fire when he knew Voldemort was alive he knew he had to bring him back to life using Harry's blood so when he did he knew that he could not kill back to life using Harry's blood. So when he did, he knew that he could not kill Harry. Yeah, so I'm sure there's some magic that we're missing here that went on there, but I think that was...

We'll have to email our magical scholars. Yeah, that was the gist of it, that Harry had Voldemort's blood running through his veins and so he couldn't fully kill him. And then because harry because harry died for the rest of the the rest of hogwarts pretty much because he died to save them um then they pretty much his mother's original protection charm that you know that voldemort wasn't able to kill harry for so many years because his mother's love um protected him or whatever right so since voldemort killed harry and harry died to save

hogwarts um the same thing applied to a lot of the people fighting for hogwarts and um that's when he comes back um and that was the um the great bamboozle of the Battle of Hogwarts when I think it's Hagrid that's carrying him. And Voldemort walks up to the gates of Hogwarts full of dead bodies and wounded kids and shit. It should be said that Narcissa Malfoy, Draco's mother, is the one that checks for death. And she knows that Harry is alive but doesn't say anything because Harry tells her that Malfoy is still alive. So Voldemort's followers are not completely loyal. No, I think that falls under the narrative of how I said before.

It shows them as being not this competent legion of dark wizards but this snivelly gang of shitty evildoers that aren't good at what they do. Probably people who didn't really have a pack in high school. And so they just kind of found the ones that would take them in. It's it is exactly. So to to force an allegory in here to modern day, it is exactly like the the people who went and protested at charlottesville and stuff like that um together

they look like they're actually kind of terrifying and they killed somebody but then like once you started punching them in the face they ran away like they didn't stand up and fight anymore yeah um and that's like they're they're fucking nerds is what they are they have these really strong beliefs until you test those beliefs. And then they kind of back off and say, OK, you know. Right. And so I guess in that they're worse than Nazis because at least Nazis fought. And then like Hagrid carries the body up.

Voldemort says, you know, Harry's dead. Harry Potter's dead. And then that's when Neville comes up and says, like, we don't give a fuck. We're still going to fight anyway, because Neville's the real hero here. Like I've said before. And he said he says that Harry died running, trying to run away. He doesn't he doesn't let them know that Harry sacrificed himself for them. Yeah.

They stood up and took it. Yeah. And Neville doesn't believe him for a second. Nobody believes him for a second. Which. Yeah. And Neville isn't leaving for a second. Nobody believes him for a second, which sure, I guess at that point you're in so far and you've already been killing and dying that you might as well just throw caution to the wind and finish the shit. But Neville has a pretty big triumphant speech there,

which I did not quote because I am a crook and a fraud. And I feel like if I quote enough Harry Potter here, SoundCloud will take this podcast down. I'm not going to do that. And that is when it's, it's then when Neville pulls out the sword, right? Because he knows he needs to kill the snake.

And that's when he leads a rousing sword wielding charge against a legion of dark wizards well he's able to he's able to pull out the sword and kill the snake at the same time it's at the sorting hat right yeah yeah um but it's at the same time that there happens to be a distraction because grorop runs up Hagrid's giant brother. Yeah. And that's when Harry kind of combat rolls out of Hagrid's arms. That's when Harry's able to throw the cloak over himself and disappear. So there's a lot of things going on right here where there's a little bit of a distraction and some chaos so that they're able to kind of get the upper hand.

Again, donkey moment, because you have been spending the last almost two decades searching for this kid to kill you finally think you have him dead um one like check the pulse yeah check it for yourself right two like you're gonna have him with an eyesight i think that uh i think that voldemort was actually scared. Also, why would he have one of Harry's own dudes carry Harry's body? Oh, yeah. Well, no, it was like a slap in the face. Sure, I get that part. It was his form of torturing Hagrid.

The second Hagrid is carrying him, Hagrid's like, he's still alive. No. He knew it. No, Hagrid was sobbing the whole time. He had no idea. Because he's playing the long con. No. That's not true.

His body wasn't even getting cold because he's alive. I mean, it wasn't long enough for him to get cold. It doesn't take that long. We don't need to argue about this. No, Hagrid did not know Harry was alive, but Voldemort definitely should have checked for himself. But I think Voldemort was legitimately scared of Harry because of all the times that Harry, you know, did and then almost beat him. Well, Harry beat him as a toddler. I'd be afraid of him too.

It's like that shitty old comic trope, strike me down now and I'll come back three times stronger than I ever was. I mean, it was magic that he could never understand so that he could never beat. It's just he'll never understand love. Well, and that's part of it. Yeah, because he has no nose. Nobody will love anybody without a nose. True. Yeah. So true. That's why I still have never understand love. Well, and that's part of it. Yeah. Because he has no nose. Nobody will love anybody without a nose.

True. Yeah. So true. That's why I still have not felt love. You definitely have a nose. So that's when Harry combat rolls out of there and the fight's back on. They chase down the snake and Neville, being the hero that he is, kills it. And this is actually

admittedly kind of hilarious. So if you were to pick a name, I don't know if you know this battle has a name between the final battle between Harry and Voldemort. It is the Battle of the Seven Potters. What? It's legitimately called in

the mythos, it is called the battle of the seven potters how that doesn't make any sense i think it's because um so another argument that i have here which is admittedly explained away uh with uh the actual you know chemical explanation um so uh now that he's alive again they decide to square off and they fight in this like dragon ball z-esque attack on attack meeting here in the middle and um uh voldemort being who he is he fares in a vodica drava curse and uh because it's like the only one of four spells that harry potter ever learns he fires an Expelliarmus spell. Because when you're trying to kill your enemy, you might as well disarm

him. That is one part of the entire series that does really bother me, is that he continuously... There are many other more destructive curses. If you watch the movies... And he's used them. Yeah, if you watch the movies or if you read the books, Reducto destroys things.

I don't think it works on people though I don't know but otherwise it would be used a lot more he knows Syctum Sempra

well yeah which like legitimately gives people Ebola and they just bleed out from the inside yeah I mean there's a lot

there's so many curses that aren't unforgivable curses and he's already used the unforgivable curse you might as well use it again more destructive curses

that he could have used than freaking Expelliarmus i just and the only reason why we we can kind of like okay okay i get it fuck you but i get it is um so the reason why this battle is going on is at this point um voldemort knows that he cannot use the elder wand and uh so he takes lucius's wand which no he's he's using the Elder Wand. And so he takes Lucius' wand, which... No, he's using the Elder Wand at this point. Not the Battle of Seven Potters. No, the Battle of Seven Potters, he's using Lucius' wand.

I think you're looking at a different battle. No. So the Battle of Seven Potters, that is when he... It's after he comes back to life and uh i don't know why it's called this honestly it's bothering the shit i mean it's also called the battle over little winging and the no okay so no that that's is this the battle that kills him no you're looking the battle over little winging and seven potters that's the battle when

he first leaves privet drive no yeah because um little winging is is where privet drive is located so you're you're on the wrong page or something um i don't understand why this is in my notes i don't either um i'm all fucked up. I apologize. He definitely has full he definitely thinks that he has full control over the Elder Wand during the final battle. Okay, so I apologize. My battles are out of order. This is Voldemort's

last stand. Okay, that makes more sense. Makes significantly more sense. You know, and he thinks he has the the elder one completely under control and that's when he effectively like I said he's he that he fires the killing curse

Potter fires they're really stupid disarming curse and they have like a dragon ball Z battle as everybody else is still fighting around them. Okay, so the one reason I could think of why Harry would use Expelliarmus over any other curse is because he did explain to Voldemort

that he kind of went through all of the disarming and everything in the the pathway of the elder wand and he said um so let's see if I'm the true um if you're the true owner of the elder wander if I am pretty much and so maybe his using Expelliarmus was just to try and see if his wand would be more um i guess loyal to him or to voldemort yeah that makes sense and um also uh another part i didn't notice uh before was so when harry sacrificed himself um like you said before the same thing his mom did um he gave the entire school sacrificial protection so they were effectively immortal at that point um so i guess that would give you a little bit of a bonus going forward and that explains and they don't explain that part in the movie they don't at all so i mean that it makes a lot more sense of why

i mean neville's a brave motherfucker. Like, the fact that he can jump through the air and attack snakes is impressive because his giant iron balls are weighing him down. But, like, it's because he knew he wasn't going to die. No, no, no. I mean, they don't even know that Harry's even alive at this point. None of them know that this is the magic that's taking place. So, they don't know that they have sacrificial protection. Oh, no, not at all.

So, they're all still very brave fighting against these dark wizards. Well, fuck me for taking away their sacrifice. I mean, it's still there. They just don't know it's there. So they're very brave for standing up and fighting the way that they did, even though they had this protection. Yeah. And so during that battle that is when um

finally the was it like the soul start fighting back or something like that against voldemort of all the people he's killed or some stuff like that or am i thinking of a different battle no i think you're i think you're thinking of the resurrection stone where i am where harry brings back all of the people um so that he can so that he has the strength to go and basically die. Right, and that's when he talks to all of his family members. So tell me what happens in this final battle because I keep fucking it up. So basically in the final battle, they kind of circle each other like wolves

for a good couple of pages in the book. And this, I mean, I'm pretty sure this is what happens in the movie too, is they circle around each other and harry explains to them or explains to him um you're gonna die and this is why pretty much um so he explains let me explain to you why my plan will work mr bond exactly he explains the um the path that the elder wand took and why it doesn't actually belong to Voldemort. And he says, and this is why, you know, your magic will never work as strongly as mine will.

And Voldemort, you don't have more magic than I do. And, oh, you're talking about love, Dumbledore's love that he's always talking about and everything and is obviously really skeptical. And Harry's like, well, no. Well, love is not known as a powerful military tool. Not in Muggle world. That's true.

But in Wizarding world. It might work in Muggle world if everybody just puts their rifle down, turn the lights off and just feels around a bit. I mean, battles have been fought over love. Not real ones. The world would be a much better place if everybody fought with love. Not real ones. The world would be a much better place if everybody fought with love.

Not with love, for love. But if they fought with love, the only body armor you'd have to wear is a condom. Let's hope. If you're responsible. So they're circling each other like wolves.

Harry's explaining this whole scenario to him. He's, um, Voldemort is skeptical, but slowly starting to come to the horrible realization that Harry might actually be right. And, um, so Harry explains to him that he is the owner of the other one.

And that because he sacrificed himself, like his mother did that, all of the because he sacrificed himself like his mother did that all of the people he sacrificed himself for are protected and that Voldemort could never understand that because Voldemort never understood this powerful magic that everybody has that Voldemort doesn't because he's a sociopath

and then Voldemort Avada Kedavra is at the same time that Harry Expelliarmus is. And they both come together. And in the movie, Voldemort breaks apart and floats away into a powder of magical dust. I fucking hate that. They fucked that ending up so bad.

Yeah. It was so much better in the book where he just drops fucking dead like a sack of shit like a person. Exactly. Because that's his whole thing is he hated being a human. Because Harry. He hated being a muggle. Yeah. Harry in the book over and over the entire time he's doing this end monologue is calling him Riddle and Tom Riddle.

His mortal name pretty much. And then he kills Voldemort like a mortal. Yeah. And he just drops dead like all the other dead bodies. Like a dead human because he couldn't live forever because he is human. Yeah. And that is exactly the extreme opposite of what Voldemort ever wanted. All he wanted was to be immortal and all powerful.

That's why he changed his name. I mean, and he didn't even have a non wizardy name. His name is like Tom Moveralo. Marvolo whatever that's like a fucking marvel super villains name if i've ever heard it before well he didn't want with tom tom riddle is his father's name and his father was a muggle marvolo is his grandfather's name and his grandfather was a wizard so he he changed his name because he couldn't stand to have a muggle's name you just go by his middle name. People do that all the time.

Yeah, but Marvolo wasn't a prize either. No, it wasn't. But Voldemort, that's a solid. I feel like if somebody could find a way to spell Voldemort with like L-G-Y-N or something like that at the end, like Ashlyn

or Brooklyn and all that other shit going around now, it'd be a lot more popular. Marvolin. Yeah. Marvolin. It's going to be my first child's name. Sounds like some kind of growth. Vicious Marvolin.

So, you know, with the, depending if you watch the movie and he turns the dust and flutters away, like fucking burning paper or drops dead, like a sack of shit in the books. After that uh the death eaters don't fight they just run so yeah no no no chain of command here no chain of command

here it's like um we're doing the um the war of 1812 right now in our in our normal series and uh there's a good uh so there's a a battle that happens on the side called the Battle of Fishguard, where an American Irishman takes an army from the French Revolution and invades England. It's almost all forcefully conscripted prisoners and convicts and shit. And they all just run as soon as he's dead. So, you know, you can't scare people into working for you and expect them to work after you're dead. Yeah, exactly. That's I mean, that's literally I mean, that that's Voldemort's fatal mistake is that he operated under like all of his followers. Followers operated under extreme fear.

They were fearful that he was going to kill i mean the only reason they went second command no oh bellatrix bellatrix would have fought to the death no matter what but she was already dead it's only because they're a fucking spoiler alert only if you read the cursed child which i will not accept as a real thing no the cursed child sucks but like no there's no other like chain of command over the other Death Eaters is like, oh, you're a Death Eater. Consider their table. No. I mean, some of them definitely believed in the whole pure blood.

Sure. You know, all that. I mean, it's a Slytherin belief. It's not a Voldemort belief. It's a Slytherin belief. That's Slytherin extremist. Pure blood. Exactly.

But but none of them had strong enough beliefs to actually carry this to a war. They only carried it to a war because if they hadn't, Voldemort would have killed them and their families. Yeah, they they're more about making shitty snide remarks in the hallways of their school. Yeah. I mean, they were all cowards who who. Yeah, they thought that. I mean, they're they're MAGA. Oh, man. They thought that, I mean, they're MAGA. Absolutely. Oh, man. I don't think there's fear involved in the MAGA guy, in the red hats, though.

Oh, no, that's just idiocy. Yeah. The fear breeds idiocy and idiocy breeds fear. Like, if we build this wall, everything will be fine. You have nothing more to fear. If you follow me and kill all these school kids, everything will be fine. I don't know. In my mind, where I just can't comprehend the level of... I don't know. In my mind, I have to think that these white supremacists who are all

backwards uneducated missing teeth fat and just disgusting fucking scum of the earth human who somehow think that they're superior to an other race right um it has to be more fear than than anything else they have to be scared of something or else we talked a little bit in our first episode of the war of 1812 as i made a side-handed joke about the white flight from detroit and as it wasn't that um that they were afraid of well they were afraid but they weren't like disenfranchised like the literally the only thing that happened is black people became their equals like there was no more separate but equal all the jim crow laws were gone and then once they could move in next door all the white people packed up and left and um it was a fear of

inequality like it was like uh you know oh they're gonna rape our women and you know spread their seed and miscegenate with each other and And it's, I mean, racism is, is only driven by fear. That's the only thing can be driven by because it's certainly not driven by fucking logic and reason. That's what I'd have to imagine because they can't actually think that they're superior to someone. I know somebody who does.

Um, and it's always the people with like the most glaring personality or like psychology flaws. It's like they legitimately think that they're better than other people. There's no level headed, well-meaning person that thinks that they're better than somebody else based on the color of their skin. And I think that's something that was taught,

that was touched on a little bit. I think it was Lyndon B. Johnson that said, all you have to do is make like the lowest white person think that they're better than the best black person. And we got to this from wizards. I mean, it does have very real world connotations, though. I think I think J.K. Rowling did a really good job of incorporating stuff like that.

She's going for. Honestly, I can see a little bit of D.J. Trump in Voldemort. Honestly, I can see a little bit of DJ Trump in Voldemort. I feel like that's giving Trump too much credit because Voldemort at least graduated from a reputable school. And his kids seem a little less inbred. I just feel like they have a lot of the same mentality. Yeah.

And a lot of the same fatal mistakes. Well, Trump at least has a nose. It might be fake. Well, he hasn't died and split his soul into a thousand pieces yet. So no, he has. And every single horcrux is actually just a failed business.

So that is our bonus episode thank you for tuning in and listening to us rant about Hogwarts and various other fucking random shit for the last hour and 18 minutes so you can as always you can follow me on twitter at jcast99 you can follow the podcast

on twitter at lions underscore bye thank you very much for donating to patreon since this is going out to all of you so spread it around maybe anybody else would like to listen to it you can expect more stuff like this we're going

to talk about more fictional universes and fictional battles and things like that going forward Nick is a huge Star Wars nerd so expect that and I'm a huge Lord of the Rings nerd, so expect an insufferable amount of that. I would say you can follow

our great Sergeant Richardson here somewhere on social media, but she is void of the Twitterverse because she is smarter than the rest of us. Just don't go to that hell site. Even though the vast majority of people listening to our podcast found me through Twitter.

And thank you for buying my book and keeping a roof over my head. I don't understand you tweeters. Yeah. I don't understand us either. So thanks for tuning in and I will see you next time.