Living The Red Life - Author of “The Unspoken Word” on Breaking Silence and Empowering Victims

Episode Date: March 30, 2026

Ahlaianne Garfinkel, a knowledgeable advocate against domestic violence and author of "The Unspoken Word", draws parallels between her work with domestic violence victims and her own experiences of being silenced. She opens up about narrowly avoiding the tragedy due to a twist of fate and how her life’s mission has become preventing the silencing of victims.Ahlaianne shares the development and impact of her 'unspoken word' concept and how it stems from her personal journey as both a victim and advocate. She outlines the resources available to empower those who may feel voiceless, focusing on her valuable toolbox—the comprehensive, state-specific resource database created to guide victims in knowing their rights. Ahlaianne delves into the prevention of domestic violence, advocating for better initial guidance to avoid escalating to dire legal scenarios. Throughout, Ahlaianne emphasizes the importance of empowerment and awareness as vital tools in combating systemic challenges within the legal landscape.Key Takeaways:Empowerment Through Knowledge: Ahlaianne Garfinkel's toolbox offers victims vital resources to understand and exercise their rights within the legal system.The Importance of Being Heard: Ahlaianne stresses breaking the cycle of silence often used to victimize individuals, advocating for constitutional and spiritual rights to be respected and upheld.Prevention Over Cure: Her mission revolves around preventing domestic violence from escalating by increasing awareness and providing early intervention tools to victims.Crossroad of Personal and Professional: Ahlaianne’s intersecting experiences as a victim and advocate provide a unique perspective on systemic issues in the judicial system.Continual Advocacy: By engaging in media like podcasts and collaborations with entities like PreviewModels, Ahlaianne seeks to spread her message of empowerment and resilience.Notable Quotes:"Silencing someone is not in their best interest and allows some of the underhanded, nefarious events to go forward.""We all have the right constitutionally, but as well as spiritually, to speak, to be heard, to be understood, to be respected.""There's always an opportunity, and there's always someone there that can listen... If one door closes, there is another opportunity.""My mission is prevention. So it doesn't get to the point of, okay, now someone's lost their life, let's do a memory on them. No, we could have prevented this.""With every traumatic event, there are seeds of change, seeds of growth, opportunity for a new and impactful opportunity to persevere, to survive."Connect with Ahlaianne Garfinkel:InstagramFacebookConnect with Rudy Mawer:LinkedInInstagramFacebookTwitter

So the unspoken word is about all the words I wanted to say, but I couldn't speak. All the times that I was cut out of court hearings, shut out of meetings, taken down, shut down, silenced. With my work in the past, working with victims of domestic violence, there's a great parallel. Silence the victim. Keep them quiet. Don't report. Don't talk. Don't tell. And that's a problem. That is the polar opposite of what is supposed to happen. We all have the right constitutionally, but as well as spiritually to speak, to be heard, to be understood, to be respected. and silencing someone is... My name's Rudy Moore, host of Living the Red Life podcast

and I'm here to change the way you see your life in your earpiece every single week. If you're ready to start living the Red Life, ditch the Blue Pill, take the Red Pill, join me in Wonderland and change your life. Welcome to another episode of the Living Your Legacy podcast, the Woman Empower Edition, with a smidge of the hashtag Red Life in there.

For Insight Success, I am Ray Gutierrez. Joining me today is Alani Alianna. Garfinkel. She is the author of the unspoken word. Aliana, welcome. How are you? I will. Relax and chill. Thanks for having me. You are home. You quite literally just finish filming your episode for Women in Power. Yes. I have to ask, do you feel extra powerful today? I do. It was amazing. What are we going to learn about you today? Well, we're going to learn about the motivation behind why Women in Power and the Unspoken Word, uh, join. forces. Yeah, I love it, joined forces. Yes. And the foundation and the motivation behind the

unspoken word and bribery lane. Bribery lane. I got to say, if you're looking at this late, today's 9-11, 24 years, I believe. We've got quite a dramatic story. I'd like to open up if you don't mind sharing of your 9-11 survival story. I am. So on 9-11, exactly this day, I was scheduled to be at New York University for a very important meeting for a jurist doctorate PhD program. I was a student there already in master's in social work, but I wanted to integrate law and forensic studies. And I had a baby in NICU, neonatal intensive care.

He had been in and out of the hospital the evening before he kept me up the entire night. So I was running a bit late. I actually missed the same train I always took every single time just because I was attending to the baby. And by the time I was getting on the next train as a courtesy, I called NYU, and I had learned about the absolute unthinkable tragedy that had just occurred. I was scheduled for 9 a.m. on 9.11.

Wow. Where were you supposed to be at 9 a.m.? Exactly. I was supposed to go right past the international trade zone area, and I was supposed to be attending a meeting at 9.1. New York University. Just a normal day and some divine energy saved you and protected you. It did.

It did. How do you carry that with you every day now? It's very traumatic to first and foremost be thankful. But I read and I'm part of the 9-11 memorial. I'm linked into all of their birthday celebrations. They do a birthday celebration for every person that was in the towers on that day. and I read, I grieve, I have a lot of emotions, given the fact that that was my chosen path, and I was always there.

So this is unbelievable that I missed that train that day. I got to say you were literally quite at the front line. I don't want to make this a September 11th podcast. We're definitely going to dive into your episode, and I want to learn more about you. But I'm kind of curious your take being in the zone. Do you feel a shift of energy frequency the day before and the day after 9-11 that has consensually changed our path on what we do day to day. And it's just gotten darker and darker even with news of yesterday. Definitely the day of and the day after there was a tremendous shift.

The whole area, you could see smoke. You could hear clanking noises. Sure. I guess I mean more frequency-wise, what was happening as a whole around the world when, There was a giant moment of pain. It was just a frequency was released. What do you think has happened then? And what are we feeling today because of that?

I believe that what happened then was so impactful, the loss of so many tragic lives and all the people who tried to save and help and go into the building and a lot of people who were just there visiting from other areas on business meetings. The shift was a sense of being united in, what I've seen from being in the area, it's definitely very impactful for those who live and work there. Culturally, I think it was very symbolic, right? 9-11, plain 9-11. I mean, it couldn't even be more troubling, just all of those numbers. So one of the reasons I wanted to come today was because

this day has a tremendous amount of meaning for me. Absolutely. Well, welcome. Thank you. Your energy is absolutely needed and it's definitely a guidance, especially on today, especially in the last 48 hours really. 24 years is a long time. What's happened in the last 24 years and what is your North Star today? What is your project today? So the past 24 years have been years of turbulence and sidestepping more than one near-death experience. We reviewed them in detail during my episode. And I've taken away from it. With every traumatic event, there are seeds of change, seeds of growth, opportunity for a new and impactful opportunity to persevere, to survive. It's been hard. It's been many years filled with diversity. The unspoken word came out of

being a whistleblower and being silenced. So the unspoken word. word is about all the words I wanted to say, but I couldn't speak. All the times that I was cut out of court hearings, shut out of meetings, cut out of emails, taken down, shut down, silenced, couldn't appear at things I was supposed to. And then with my work in the past, working with victims of domestic violence, there's a great parallel. And it's a pretty consistent course of conduct. Like silence the victim, keep them quiet, don't report, don't talk, Don't tell. I've also worked with children for many, many years, and that's a big area.

They try to keep the kids scared, quiet, silenced, don't talk, don't tell anyone. And that's a problem. That is the polar opposite of what is supposed to happen. We all have the right constitutionally, but as well as spiritually to speak, to be heard, to be understood, to be respected. And silencing someone is not in their best interest. Absolutely not. allow some of the underhanded nefarious events to go forward. And that's really more what bribery lane is about.

So the unspoken word is about empowerment, finding a voice, finding a power, finding a pathway, finding an opportunity to be heard, be respected, and find an alternate route if one needs to. Just because the first door was closed, it doesn't mean the second door was. There's emails, different pathways, texts, video, audio. And there's always somewhere that wants to listen. And I try to tell those that are being depowered, that we can be empowered by using different areas. So I created a toolbox that is condensed into a USB, so it's convenient.

But it has every single statewide resource, every state, domestic violence, law, areas, for housing, for victimization. how to be heard. What if you don't have access to an internet? What's the alternative route? Just to give people hope and give people an opportunity that there are programs and resources out there that are intended to help. And being silenced is a non-negotiable topic.

Absolutely. What is the common thread you find when folks discover you and come to you to guidance? What is the common client? That on one side of their case, there's a very highly manipulative research. resource or person or party that's manipulating the truth, the facts, the evidence to tamper in some way or another, from small to big. And, you know, it's not okay. Everyone deserves, our Constitution says, everyone has the right to be heard and freedom of speech and due process. And what I've seen in my 20 plus years working in the judicial system is there's a propensity to, you know, alter, sometimes not serve, sometimes a struck and that's not justice. That's not how it's supposed to be. I apologize if I saw on like a

TMZ headline, but I'm starting to find a relevance to if someone that's familiar with something that's that's very dark and deep and deep, but something that that shined light on the subject was the Amber Hurd and and what's his face? The Pirates of the Caribbean actor. What's his name? Johnny Depp. That was the most public display of domestic abuse in court. What was really going on there, you think? For someone that has experienced the antagonist to your protagonist's timeline, what do you think was really happening there? Like the sense of manipulation, clearly one side was financially fit.

I'm not siding with anyone, but I just want to bring this up as a topic. What do you think what was really happening there? It is what I see and have seen repeatedly for 20 plus years that the person who may have power, money, resources, connections can fuel the, expenses, four or $500 an hour, may win not because of justice, but because of resources. And how cute the defendant was looking at someone or a gaze and it just became pop culture. We lost sight of what was really happening in that courtroom. It's frequently lost.

It happens all the time. All the time. Jesus. I've seen it all the time. And it's happened with me as a victim, but also as a advocate. So I'm somewhat unique. Not most people have been victims and advocates at the same time. Some have, but not all. And the implications of my story and my life path has been near death on multiple occasions, near death.

So my takeaway is that with the Johnny Depp story, the resources available to one side tampered with, modified, and altered the outcome through artificial means. And that's a lot about what happened with my book and my story. And I don't want victims who don't have the resources to be discriminated against. Or felt powerless because the resources were there. Right. It's not fair.

They just need to understand that they can do it and they're reaching out to folks like you. And also I would like to put this in every single police department and every single court. Why? Because there's nothing really warm and friendly in the police departments. It's just the nature of the police department, right?

The lobbies don't have cushy seats. They don't have refreshments for the children and the parents. Oh, no, it's by design. Right? They don't have books. They don't have resources. You may get a pamphlet and often, oh, there's none left, sorry. But that's not going to help in the here and now in the moment of crisis and emergency.

So it also, I believe, would help the judges because if the judge has powerful, educated in sense of their rights, not education in terms of doctoral studies, but just your own rights. what you're entitled to, it may help the court help the client or the litigant because they know what they're asking for. A lot of this is lack of information, lack of knowledge. They don't understand that they don't have to say no or have to say yes. And I apologize for playing devil's advocate here, but don't you think judges are kind of just burnt out? When is the violence going to stop? When is domestic abuse going to stop? It's just no matter how many times they sit up there hitting the gavel, it's just rinse repeat. It's problems to both things. sides, correct? I think there is, but I think if it went in on a lower level and there was knowledge

and power and information, even at the onset for the victims, it might not get to the court, it might not get to that point of powerlessness, because the victim might understand what the rights or what they need, and it might be a more equal and level playing field for the victim and the judge in the basic simple request of what they're asking for. Sometimes the gap is significant because that the victim hasn't had any information at that front line level. And it's a very scary system for people. A lot of people end up losing their lives. And then the whole community comes forward.

It's too late. We could have prevented this. So that's my mission, prevention. My mission is prevention. So it doesn't get to the point of, okay, now someone's lost their life. Let's do a memory on them. No, we could have prevented this. We don't need to do.

a go fund me now, although it may be helpful, we should have done a prevention. And that's really what I'm trying to bring forward to bring this to all courts, all judges, all law enforcement, domestic violence units that can help. So we prevent it. And that's what it's called, prevention of domestic violence act. Let's prevent it. Absolutely. Let's talk about the psychological levels of why this happens.

Is it really a male with daddy issues or, I'm sorry, with mommy issues. Like what is the standard SOP? Of course, he's going to be red flag because he kind of checks off the Johnny Depp profile or he was raised a certain way. Like what is the, I guess, what can folks start doing to prevent

dating a narcissist or being in a situation where they feel trapped? What are some easy preventable measures? I think easy preventable methods based on my knowledge and experience over the years is awareness. I think it all starts with awareness. And part of my book,

and my toolbox is to provide basic, simple, fundamental bullet point facts, cues, you know, even going with that instinct and that visceral response. So the awareness is definitely critical and the empowerment. It's knowing it is one thing, but then advocating for it is another. So a lot of people want to, but they might not know the path to advocate for it. And having that ability as a victim to, or just a non-victum yet, they haven't yet been victimized, just as a person, who's going through the legal system or a person who's going through a hard time in the medical community has to know that this is available to them and that they don't have to say yes, that they can ask a question. The doctor might be a medical doctor, but he might not know everything about you.

So, I mean, it's just about individualization and customization and personalization for each and every person. And that's really what the book and the toolbox is about, customization for each person. no two people are the same. We can't rubber stamp it. Everybody's different. Everyone has their own needs. And that has to come out loud and clear and very strong in this. And just each state has tremendous resources, but sometimes people don't know they exist.

I may not know how to reach them. There's an email address. There's a texting. There's a 211 program. People don't know about that. And that might help. Wasn't familiar with the 201. I heard of 311, but not 211.

Yes. It's a free program in each state that offers support services. Right on. Let's talk about how you are evangelizing folks in your tribe. You and I Sherry is similar, a common colleague, Josh Weinstein. I've worked with him before. He's the founder of preview models. How are you working together with Josh and preview models? Are you essentially coaching his models? So I'm proud and honored to say that in May of 2025, preview models had advocate it for some models with different shapes and sizes. Absolutely.

And I got the invitation. I auditioned and I was selected. Oh, right on. Yes. Very cool. Oh, hell yeah. I'm very excited. It's a great privilege and honor to be part of preview models.

I'll be signed and I'll be going to their event in Los Angeles and Hollywood. I'm very familiar. Yes. Yeah. I'm very excited. He's wonderful. and he's a tremendous advocate for his program and for teaching us and educating us on, you know, modeling industry. Absolutely.

I always, when I coach, I always try to talk about stagecraft and being present almost like you're in a play in a theater. Like always presenting yourself when you're speaking or even carrying yourself in a way where you're producing an alter ego when you're on brand or et cetera, et cetera. That's congratulations. Thank you. It really was a tremendous accomplishment. I'm eager to see how your story merges with his and what blossoms from that. I know. What other ways are you reaching out to folks? You mentioned all these avenues, but are you using social media? You're telling your story via podcasts. How many podcasts are you doing? What are you doing to really rile up the cages and get folks informed about this? Yeah, so that is my mission. I'm here and really thrilled and honored to be part of this. I'm going to. I'm going. to be integrating podcasts. Part of the preview models is definitely making connections.

Josh's got his own podcast. Yeah. So, you know, I'm very excited to expand it and focus on health and wellness, mental fitness, physical fitness. It's never too late. And that's somewhat with the preview models, like at this point in life to have this opportunity, it really does say it's never too late for dreams to come true and opportunities to be presented.

So my intent is to. expand my social media network and audience, you create additional websites, speak as much as possible. Lots of blogs, SEOs, content, content, data, data. You really want to fill the pipes, the internet pipes, as they say, with all about you and the algorithms will do their work. Yes. How can folks find out more about you, learn about you? Here's where you'll plug your book, your dot com. Let's hear it. Yes. So our website is the unspoken.

Word.co. It's an active website. There's way to communicate with us through there. Also, my Instagram is Aliana underscore. So that is another alternative through preview models. And also through upcoming events, my book will be published on Amazon. So will the toolbox. So that will be available through Amazon and the toolbox. And I'm looking at some other venues right now. So hopefully within the next couple weeks, I'll have some additional options. abilities to. Good for you for calling it a toolbox. It's just straight to the point. You understand what it is. Like a good, good, good use of verbiage there. Toolbox. Everything you need is here. It's a USB drive that you can actually hand it to someone. And it's simple. It's small.

It's just gets them. Yeah. Nice, nice and basic and gives everyone what they need. Right on. Well, congratulations today on an amazing afternoon. Yeah. I guess would you like to close us out with an inspirational quote or anything that keeps you going every single day? What keeps me going every single day is that there is always an opportunity, and there's always someone there that can listen, will listen. Don't give up, keep moving, keep going, keep pushing. If one door closes, really there is something about that old saying. There is another opportunity, and go with your gut.

Your gut is never wrong. Your instincts always will lead you, and trust them and trust yourself. Trust yourself. When the unspoken truth isn't being spoken, the soul will reveal everything. So I'm glad we're doing this and we're putting a spotlight on you. Thank you. With that, that concludes another episode of the Living Your Legacy podcast, the Red Life, Woman and Power Edition.

For inside success, I'm Ray Gutierrez.