Living The Red Life - Founder of Shattered Into One: Breaking Free from the Victim Mindset

Episode Date: November 10, 2025

Jessica Conrad, a dynamic figure in mental health advocacy and trauma support, shares her personal journey from overcoming adversity and abuse to becoming a mental health advocate and founder of "Shattered into One." She speaks candidly about the importance of facing hard truths and stepping out of the victim mindset to embrace personal empowerment and growth. Jessica highlights the common misconceptions about darkness and despair, suggesting that confronting these emotions can lead to profound, positive transformation.Throughout the discussion, key themes like authenticity, the dichotomy between wanting and needing, and the nature of conscious living are explored. This episode delves into how individuals can harness both their fear and love to spur growth and transformation, encouraging listeners to embrace their shadows to find their inner strength. Jessica's method involves a unique mix of counseling and coaching, supporting clients through healing and guiding them towards fulfilling futures. The episode concludes with insights into Jessica’s sanctuary of personal growth and her enthusiastic involvement in mission work, painting a picture of a holistic approach to life that intertwines service, personal development, and community building.Key Takeaways:Confronting Darkness: Jessica advocates for embracing rather than shunning the darker aspects of our experiences, as they are central to personal growth and self-discovery.Balance and Authenticity: Living authentically involves balancing the pendulum of emotions and experiences, fostering a state of equilibrium between action and reaction.Empowerment Through Truth: Facing the 'hard truths' about oneself can be painful but is essential for breaking free from victimhood and stepping into empowerment.The Role of Community: Integrating service work, such as missions in Belize, is crucial in Jessica’s journey, offering mutual growth and transformation.Dynamic Healing Practices: Jessica’s work features a blend of therapy and coaching, focusing on emotional liberation and moving clients towards personal and professional goals.Notable Quotes:"When you lose everything and realize life is still here, you stop relying on people and the external to make you feel like you are somebody." – Jessica Conrad"Darkness has an implication of negativity, which is quite the opposite; it's positive to understand and embrace it." – Jessica Conrad"I want to hurt your feelings to the point where you don't stay stuck in this place, and you can grow out of it." – Jessica Conrad"Everything we do in life is a choice. Every way we think, every decision that we make, is driven by love or fear.""I told everybody no in 2012 as a New Year's resolution and realized I didn't like living for myself alone either." – Jessica ConradConnect with Jessica Conrad:WebsiteInstagramLinkedInFacebookConnect with Rudy Mawer:LinkedInInstagramFacebook

I do most of my thinking out loud in the car when I'm driving. And I was thinking about what's the difference between wanting and needing. And I am not the person who will ever tell you what you want to hear. But I will definitely tell you what you need to hear. And a lot of times that is the hard truth. The darkness is very real, but darkness already has an implication of negativity, which very much is actually quite the opposite. It's quite positive to understand.

When you lose everything and you realize like, Like, life is still here. Yeah. I can still move forward. You stop relying on people and the external to make you feel like you are somebody. It all goes back to the source. Am I wrong to think that? My name's Rudy Moore, host of Living the Red Life podcast,

and I'm here to change the way you see your life in your earpiece every single week. If you're ready to start living the red life, ditch the blue pill, take the red pill. Join me in Wonderland and change your life. Welcome back to another amazing episode of the Living Your Legacy podcast, a Women in Power Edition for Inside Success. I'm Ray Gutierrez. Now that we got through all of our brands, joining me today is Jessica Conrad.

A fellow Leo that was birthed the day after I was, which technically makes me older than you. So ha-ha. If it's in the same year. I'm pretty sure I can feel it. Maybe we're close. welcome to the show what brings you to the red life podcast my love um i guess my story brings me here the woman in power starting on my own business being shattered into one i i saw that in the show

notes let's go right into shattered into one besides being the best lincoln park album that never happened please tell me what is shattered into one so shattered into one is my um mental health business so I do a lot of work with trauma just people who feel broken lost can't get it together suicide all that kind of stuff so the darkness of real life I deal with and shattered into one came about to help people go from feeling shattered into feeling whole and one within themselves learning how to trust themselves again how to make decisions how to love life again correct me if I'm wrong I'm sure I am.

When folks feel despaired, we always try to tell them, things are going to be okay. Things are going to be this. You always pump them up with positivity. You speak in a high note. And you're in reality, I was just going to say, I don't. Neither do I. I'm like, no. That sucks.

Yeah, shit sucks. Get real. Get over it. He'll learn grow, right? Yes. He'll learn grow. So, absolutely. You got to forgive.

There's a huge part of forgiveness that's in there. There is, yes. And there's also, it's a different podcast. Yes, there is forgive. Once we forgive and find forgiver, most importantly, forgive ourselves and remove the shame, where do you think this energy is, be it positive, be a negative, because I'm all about, don't tell me what I want to hear, tell me reality. What I need to hear.

What I need to hear. You know, it's funny you say that because when I was driving down here, I do most of my thinking out loud in the car when I'm driving. And I was thinking about, like, what's the difference between wanting and needing? And I am not the person who will ever tell you what you want to hear. But I will definitely tell you what you need to hear. And a lot of times, that is the hard truth. That's the part that everybody else in your life is walking in eggshells around and pit-tilling around. And I don't want to hurt your feelings. I want to hurt your feelings. Because if your feelings are hurt, you'll make change. And it's not I want to hurt your feelings

in a way that says I'm better than you or you're not good enough or you should feel ashamed it's like I'm going to hurt your feelings to the point where you don't stay stuck in this place and you can grow out of it.

When I had those surges of energy I lived in Switzerland for a hot minute and I would have mental breakdowns because I lived in a beautiful, beautiful place but there was no heart. Yeah. And it would disrupt the shit out of me. And when I had my,

my my my episodes it was really channeling the pain that I felt I felt that in San Francisco when I lived in tenderloin there's all these people that are not doing well they're sick they're feeling anger but they don't know how to speak up to change it I took it upon myself to be the line the roar yeah the voice the voice talk about the voice that that the finding that frequency that is the voice so I think everybody has two voices I mean you have like the angel and demon, you know, cartoonish themes. You have love and you have fear. And love drives you to make change and fear keeps you stuck. So if your energy is any decision you ever make, if it's rooted in fear, you're going to stay stuck. You're not going to do the thing. So it's,

it's all about taking that risk. It's stepping outside of the comfort zone. It's becoming comfortably uncomfortable. Yeah. So for me, it was the day my little sister told me I'm so sick of you playing the victim and I was like I'm not playing a victim I am a victim and then hearing that still small boys say but do you want to choose to be

sure and then it's everything we do in life is a choice every way that we think every decision that we make every fear that we step into we're choosing to do that and until you realize and take authority

in that area you're going to be controlled by it. We see it in movies, we see it in poetry, we see it a lot in Star Wars, you know, step into the darkness and strike me down and I will become a more powerful than you can ever imagine.

We understand, I watch a lot of YouTube university where folks understand the darkness is very real, but darkness already has an implication of negativity, which very much is actually quite the opposite. It's quite positive to understand the yin to the yang. There is no sun to,

there is no sun without the darkness. darkness. I'm very much in the compass of said darkness because I understand there is a poetry, a romance to being a villain to your story if you are the hero or as they call it in WWWE, the face. It is very binary. You can either be black or white. You can be a face. You can be a heel. But it's all to the greater good. It all goes back to the source. In my wrong to think that? What's your, what is your thesis here after my TED talk? So my thesis, yeah, well, there is black and white, right? We live in a world that sees black and white. Most people operate in the black and the white. Right. There's always going to be a action to a

reaction, a this, to a that. For me, it's learning to stop looking at it in like a two-dimensional and to start looking at it where, yes, there's this and this, this and that. but we operate in the area between and that's the balance it's not just being on the side it's not just being on that side like you have to have these two things to have wholeness so yeah it's even you saying that it gave me some clarity as to why the angels and demons were so upset when god created man because man and women operate in the same frequency as god because we are the source we are we are our own savior and it takes our life journey to understand that to understand that Yo, you are the one.

You just have to ego death and resurrect. Ego death is a big deal. Of course. The pride. Yes. And we live in a dichotomy where it's all pride. It's grab your phone, pulling out your face, and look how prideful I am. Oh, God, I have wrinkles.

I need a filter for a filter of the filter. And what I have to say is too long. It's 30 seconds. It should be 15 seconds. It should be... What? I don't know. Why?

Why? I have a hard time with that. The devil's truly winning. It's really noisy. there. Yeah. There's no focus. It's a distraction. It's all a distraction. So talk a lot about authenticity, and that's kind of what you're talking about or describing, I guess, maybe to say in a way. And that is the highest frequency we can operate in. It's, there's good and bad, whatever your subjective opinion of that is. You know, it's, it's everything is within us. And how I choose to, I guess,

display that to the world is it is what it is like it everything happens in the moment that it happens and we're constantly learning and growing from it if you have a reaction that you don't like then change what you're doing but you're not stuck anywhere you're not a victim to life circumstances where were you stuck where were you victimized where were you where was your why was your transformation where were you before this version of you um I was lost in a world of self-pity, I would say. Growing up with an abusive father, a drug-addicted father, people who don't like you, constantly dealing with rejection, for whatever reason, this that or the other,

it was trying to fit in. I was stuck in a place of trying to fit in. And when I stopped trying to fit in and I just said, F it. fuck it I to me it's a pendulum when you're stuck on one side you have to swing to the other side

because you have to experience what it's like over here so if I'm the people pleaser who's doing everything for everybody to just like me then I have to experience so 2012 was my year my New Year's resolution

was to be selfish and I told everybody no and I did nothing for anybody and I did everything for myself and I also equally realized I didn't like it there either. So then I started to find, so like this black and white world, if you look at it from like a pendulum, we're constantly swinging in motion from one side to the other. I call it metronome. Metronome? So if I can find how to operate down here

versus this swing to this swing to this, and that's like that extreme emotional reactions to things, if I can learn how to find a balance and just kind of be at peace here, that I'm still living in reality. But your pendulum is slowing down. Have you noticed that? Yeah, my view. You went from here to here. And that's the pendulum slowing down.

Yeah. What's your interpretation of the speed slowing down? Is that life? Is that your fight for that next decade? I think the slowing down part means that I'm willing to sit in a restful place. I don't have to be go, go, go. I don't have to conquer the world. I don't have to do everything all the time and be.

this whatever that I think it's this is where I'm at this is what I'm doing I take time for me I take time for family I take time for my friends I take time for reading and studying and business like it's a balance between all the moving parts together but they all make each other move I think the most effectively so as long as I'm at peace that's when I know my pedulum is here how did it get you to speak this way what what was the transformation for you like i'm sure you didn't just wake up one day and you were born you're like you're you ascend it what was your your journey to become this i don't know open transparent i to be completely transparent yes please my uh my first husband um was very psychologically abusive

A narcissist. Very much so, like malicious intent narcissism. And I was living a lie. I was doing a lot of things that I was ashamed of. I didn't want my family to find out. And I went home on a trip to go to my sister's baby shower. She was having her first child. And I was planning on going there to kind of be like,

this is what I've been doing with the past like eight years of my life. Sure. And instead of him letting me do that, he called and left a voicemail on my parents' answering machine with everybody who was there. Of course. For my sister's baby shower, heard everything that he said. And of course, it was, you know, blown way out of abortion. And then he called me and told me to have fun in my intervention when I got home. Oh, my God. Eye roll. And as much as I was just like livid, I was so hurt. and so angry at the same time, but it made it to where I couldn't sugarcoat anything.

Sure, yeah. And I just had to face the reality of my life and my choices, and whoever shamed me or rejected me were going to be people that weren't going to be in my life anymore. And I just had to accept that. And so when you lose everything and you realize, like, life is still here, I can still move forward. You stop.

relying on people and the external to make you feel like you are somebody. So all of the tragedy, when I learn to look at it and be like, okay, so how did this actually equip me and shape me to be a better person? How can I learn from this instead of, why did this happen to me? I stopped being a victim. And that's really what I think perpetuates you into. And I read like all of this stuff back here. If you could fill this all with books, that's my house. That's amazing. I read and I learn from people and I hear their stories.

I mean, I'm a therapist. So people tell me their stories every single day. And every single day, I'm reminded that we're all in the same shit show together. We're all in it. We're all here. So it's better for me to love you and to accept you as you are as opposed to trying to change you into being the person that I am. Otherwise, that's just my narcissism trying to make you like me instead of saying, I can

accept you in our differences. And that's what can help us actually grow and be better as people together. Are you listening or educating in your day-to-day? What's your current venture? Both. So I listen all day long to clients. I work with probably seven and nine people daily. As do we.

And then 20 hours a week is committed to. my doctor program and that's all research reading writing fun fun stuff do you have like a sanctuary that you do this in that you sit at home and like make the time to be this version of yourself that operates at this level it creates at this level and you have to it's a lot of sacrifice I have an office that has four different places I sit sanctuary not office my sanctuary You're welcome. So my sanctuary is my desk where I do all of my schoolwork and writing and research. And then behind that I have a little chair.

And that's where I do all my one-on-one client conversations. I want the whole energy. I want you just next to, I have all my plants, like my plant room. That's the energy. And then I have a seating area where I do my podcast where we record the podcast next to my bookshelf. And then I have like this big papillon chair. my dogs usually are sitting in it that's like their huge dog bed but that's where I go when I just want to read and like relax like not reading for research but just reading um hopefully that'll be a bigger space one day but it's just one room right now um but yeah sitting anytime I'm outside when I want to do like meditation and prayer um and journaling like I do that outside I sit outside when it's nice out when it's not I have to sit by the window and just reminisce about sunny days um but it's so important to just be still to to close and shut everything off

um like i don't sleep with my cell phone by my bed anymore i don't wear an apple watch i disconnect from social media just from the wifi as much as i can because it just and it's such a constant energy drainer. Sure, sure. So I, uh, I disconnect and I just joined a volleyball league because I'm like, you need to be social a little bit. So now I, I get out a little bit and do some physical, some physical movement too. So what's your day to day like? What's getting you out of bed? Like, how are you monetizing the experience called your life, your brand? You. So what gets me out of bed every day is one, I have people who right now need me. They need me to, be the voice that helps them remember why they're here, that helps project them onto the path

of which they're trying to find. I do a little bit of counseling and coaching together. So like, we work on the healing portion of things first. And once they get to that emotional liberation stage of their life, we work on, well, where do you want to go and how can we get you there? And that's when the coaching side really kind of steps in and kicks in. How do you know when folks aren't ready for the emotional liberation or said breakthrough. Some folks are not ready to see the Matrix, not ready to see Zion. When they're not doing the work, I would say. So if I have, when I have clients that come in and they're very resistant,

that's when I kind of let them just take the lead where I'm like, all right, you know, it's your time. This is your space. It's your money. when you're ready to but even when they're not ready to they are like if you're here and you're showing up you're ready you might not feel strong enough or equipped to do anything yet but like just keep coming you're here we see that all the time with our clients there is a form of resistance the unknown we are very much in a old Miami beach building but growing up in Miami this is

very much what Miami Beach is like it's very much still stuck in the 80s or you've got money down in Brickle, which is where Homeboy Kofi's at. But it's Miami. It's very much still 1980s, 70s tribal. And we've, we've documented how clients show up to our building, go, is this really? And then they walk into the room and we start to journey. Yeah. And to a science, we can almost predict what a client will respond to what we say and how we say it, even to the day. We even have a superstition here. It's like, don't ever say it's going to be an easy day. because something will always happen to change. So what does really an easy day mean?

Beats me. Last time I had an easy day when I was 14 years old. I don't know. There's just so many subjective terms we use in this life. You would see called life? Yeah. Yes. And to me, easy is, I don't even know if I would say what easy is, like not having to try.

And if I'm not trying, then why would I want to do something easy? absolutely it's not helping me grow growth is forward easy is you're this your heat like where are you going if you're just doing the easy thing yeah my philosophy is like why do i even open my eyes when i can just dream state and be in this zone and create realities beyond me and then i have to wake up in this dimension and physically created that being said how do you feel so far like how do you feel after your experience today, film me your episode. What are we going to learn about you do?

I feel liberated. I got to take a selfish moment where we're over time, but I don't care. It's Friday. It's our time. What does the reality like to you as a Leo? As a,

like I'm so prideful as a Leo. Like I understand what it's like to be a leader. Leo is fire. And a pride speaking as a lying is a tribe. What is your tribe? What is your pride look like?

like following I think it takes true leadership is when you can sit back and let people show you who they are and then you can encourage them to be the best version of themselves to the that's really to me what leadership is yeah you want to you want to arm your generals and you want to feed your your army absolutely so how do people find you how can people follow you on your journey um you can find me on Facebook and Instagram. I have a website. It's called Shattered Into One. Shattered into One.com. You can follow our mission. We do mission work in Belize. We're always looking for volunteers. We're always doing tons of fundraising because they need things down there. And that's what we do is we put funds together and we take stuff down there and we help build their buildings and put their kids through school and fundraise and fundraise. So that's a big one. And then we have the I Am Who I Am group. It's a support group.

It's for men and women both. A lot of what I do is with women, but I get a lot of really positive feedback from the men that I work with. So I really, really actually enjoy. When you grow up abused by men, like you kind of subconsciously develop like a hatred for the male species. But working with men and really seeing that it's no job. different for them than it is for women. Like, y'all feel victimized just as much as we do. And we all have the same insecurities. Like, we want to be liked. We want to belong. It doesn't matter what sex you are. So I work with a lot of men. I get a lot of feedback from the guys, too. And so the I Am Who I Am group

is for both men and women. And we just meet and we talk about what we're going through and we support each other through that journey and we be as non-judgmental as we can in whatever space that we are. We're down, Jess. You know, I really appreciate your time, energy in this talk from one crown to the other. And it's quite the honor to speak to the shattered into one, if per se. So thank you so much for turning your negativity into a positive and truly leading as a true lion. I appreciate it. Quite an honor. And thank you for wrapping up such a heck week for us here at production and uh happy friday and from us to lions from miami thus concludes yet another episode of the women in power living your legacy podcast for inside success she's jessica

i'm ray good night