Locked In with Ian Bick - Austin Shepard Gets Real About Surviving Jail, Addiction & Getting Cast on Love Island

Episode Date: November 6, 2025

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Do you think you would be dead if you didn't have that experience? I had like 68 total probation violations. Tell us about that night. You got the DUI. Surrounded by four cops all of a sudden. think jail prepared you for Love Island. You become a slave to it. You become a slave to getting high. People see the reality show clips and think they know him, but they don't know about the withdrawals. They don't know about the jail time. They don't know what it actually took to get clean. Austin Shepard from Love Island gets real about his past in this episode of Locked in. Austin, welcome to Lockton. Thanks so much for coming out on the show today. Thank you for having me,

man. Thank you. Yeah, I'm glad we can make this happen and be here today. I'm looking forward to dinner after with you too. Oh yeah, me too, me too. And you just had a show last night in Connecticut? Yep, Connecticut. It was New Haven, New Haven. I wish we got in late and I'm a big pizza guy. So I was like, okay, you know, of course, like, of course I know, like, you know, New Haven's known for their pizza. And then so we got in late. I got from this pizza place. It doesn't deserve me to say it doesn't deserve like any recognition because the pizza sucked so bad from there man it was so fucking bad but it was 1 a.m you know so it's like manly saying like he's like at that point it's just like you know it's it's like you know bar pizza like i mean for like football pizza at

that point the only thing that's open there but uh yeah so sadly didn't get any good pizza but the show did a bar crawl the bar crawl was fun It was a lot of fun. Did you go to Toad's place? I don't have, honestly, I have no fucking clue where I was. That's where we used to do shows back in the day. Really? Yeah.

I have no clue where we went. But it was fun. It was a lot of fun. Well, we'll redeem yourself on the pizza tonight. They have really good wood-fired pizza. We go to Stanziato's in Dan Bear. It's so good. Okay.

I know people hate on like wood-fired. It depends if you like it or not. No, man. I like any good pizza I like. I like. It just has to be a good pizza. Like the sauce from that place the other night was so ass, bro. Like it just, it was the worst pizza I've ever had, like honestly in a very long time. And like DoorDash is, DoorDash will fuck these places because a lot of these places will put a pizza on their DoorDash picture. And you're like, damn, that looks good. And then you get in, it looks completely different from the picture.

Well, you know what they're doing? They're doing the ghost restaurants. So it'll be like, it'll look like we ordered burritos from a place. Turned out to be Denny's burritos. Because they were, they changed the name and they have like these ghost kitchens. Like it looked like authentic Mexican food. And then Matt was like, yo, that's from Denny's. That's insane. I don't know how to get away with that.

That's insane. Because I knew, I know, I think, remember, I think Mr. Beast had the, didn't he have like a Mr. Beast burger or something that was on DoorDash? that was a ghost kitchen too yeah and it was coming out of um i think one of them came out of uh like an arby's or so i mean not an arby's uh a chilies or some shit i think it was like a chilies yeah our ice arena locally here had uh the beast burgers when it was going on that's insane yeah that's nutty where do you grow off austin uh grew up in michigan man

Michigan. And yeah, kind of, like Birmingham area, then moved to like Novi-Northill area. It's like a small, small cute little community, I guess, I would call it. It's a little, like, it's a little prim, a little pretentious there. But like it's a nice little place to grow up for sure. and um i feel like i feel like i i grew like i'm so glad that because i'm my sisters they're nine years younger than me and uh they're twins and um but they grew up so different than me because just because like ipads and shit holy shit bro like i'm so glad that i was born in the time that i was born because like even like i remember going and playing and stuff my mom and me carrying around her a walkie-talkie like

my sisters had like iPhones when they were in like fifth grade or something like I had a walkie talking to like eighth grade you know what I'm saying so it's it's nuts like and I much prefer that like I used to ride my bike like miles and miles and miles a day like that like that does not happen that much anymore I feel like everything's so yeah a lot of kids are inside now and I feel Like, I was like, I got lucky at being like the last, like, kind of little bit to like, you know, have a normal, normalish childhood. So did you feel like you were growing up as an only child? Yeah, dude, 100%. Because, yeah, like I said, my sisters, I had had my sisters for a while.

And it was just my mom and I, my dad and I are real close. We're real close. but I just didn't see them that often, as often as, you know, I should have probably have seen them when I was younger. And, you know, parents crazy shit, like they, my mom and dad love, they still do love each other, but they loved each other so much, but you know, I love like when you just are just so toxic, like, you're just absolutely horrible for each other, but like you have so much love for each other. It was just, it was like one of those things.

So, yeah, they ended up splitting really, like, honestly, it was, like, crazy growing up. Like, I dreaded, like, pickups and drop-offs, like, between parents, like, between, yeah, like, going between their houses. It was insane. Like, my mom and dad both would be, like, screaming, fighting. It was kind of nuts. It was really nuts. And, like, yeah, yeah. And, uh, but yeah, um, but yeah, grew up basically kind of felt like an only child. Yeah. And then, uh, I had a brother on my dad's side, but I didn't find out until I think I was like 12 years old or something. And then, oh, Gabe, I'm so sorry. I forget if you're like two or three years younger than me. But he's either two or three years younger than me. I'm so sorry, Gabe. Um, but, but, I forget, if you're, like, two or three years younger than me. I'm so sorry, Gabe. Um, but, but, but, but,

But, yeah, he's, like, two or three years younger than me. But, yeah, I didn't know about him until I was, like, 12 years old. And, yeah, so I always wanted a brother growing up, so that would have been sick to know about earlier. But, yeah, now him and I are pretty close. Like, we weren't even that close. It took a while for us to connect. And then, like, I think once I got my license,

and, like, once he got his license, Like once we both got a little older, then we started hanging out more. What'd your parents do for work? My mom is a financial consultant. And then my dad, he does construction. Does like cement construction. Yeah, like, yeah. He drives the truck, the asphalt truck.

That's what it is. But, yeah. Do you feel like you had everything you wanted? growing up or do you guys did you guys struggle at all um no my mom did very my mom did a really really really really good job at making sure that like we uh like i had everything i wanted and more like she was very my mom bust her ass like she's definitely one of the people i look up to most she's such she's such an ass kicker it's it's awesome moms moms are sick in general like moms are really fucking cool and um But, yeah, she always made sure.

The only, like, there was, you know, there was, she, she did the best that a single mom, you know, could do what, like, you know, with everything. Because, you know, it's hard being a single parent because, you know, you're the good guy, you're the bad guy, you're the mom, dad. Like, you're, you're everything. So everything falls on you. And, like, you know, when it's your first go around, that. it's hard, you know, so it's like I can't, like, she didn't do everything perfect, but like she did a damn good job, I would say. And, um, yeah, it's, it's just, uh, yeah, I definitely do think you do, you need, you do need both, you need both parents in a home to have a

very, I feel like successful upbringing. I, I feel like, I feel like that's, um, yeah, I mean, single parents do a great job, but I just feel like it's a lot easier I know growing up because it was just, yeah, it was, I definitely missed having a dad around for sure, like consistently. And, yeah, now we're like best friends. Like, my dad's my best friend. We talk on the phone like three times a day. If he doesn't hear from me for a day, he thinks I'm like dead or something. It's insane. But that's my dude.

What do you think was your favorite memory from your young years? the teenage years? I would say, dude, I have this, like, one of my earliest memories was, I forget where we were living. I don't know where we were living, but it was my mom and I, and do you remember those, like, fishing poles, those, like, kid fishing poles that those, like, kid fishing poles that big with the plastic fish on the end? Yeah.

And my mom and I would fake fish off our front porch and, like, uh, yeah, fake fish. And it was funny. That and like, I had this trampoline in my backyard, so all the kids in the neighborhood would always be at my house too. And it was a badass trampoline. And, yeah, I had a pretty good, I had a pretty good childhood. Honestly, it was a, it was a good childhood. There was some fucked up things that happened.

Of course, like, there's, like, always, like, there's some weird sexual stuff that happened. I had this weird nanny. And, yeah, and, like, also I got sent to boarding school. My mom sent me into military school when I was in, like, eighth grade. And so it was definitely a, definitely not, like, a normal growing up. And I was in boarding school pretty much till, like, my senior year of high school from then on. And, yeah, it was, it was great, like, it was definitely not a normal growing up. for sure. Why did she send you to boarding school?

Honestly, I think she sent me to military school because she probably wanted me. I had a very much lack of discipline. Like, man, I would get, I like, I remember in like probably like fifth, sixth grade. I would get in fights and like I would like beat some kid up and like I would cry and run away.

Like I had like crazy like weird fucking problems. And, um, yeah. So I think she just wanted to send me in a military school, they're like kind of just toughen me up. Like, when I just like, I don't know, get some discipline, toughing me up, like, something different. And, uh, and I, I wasn't an easy kid. Like, I was, I was always getting it. Like, I was just always talking. I couldn't shut the fuck up in class. Like, I was always talking, going on and on, you know, class clown stuff.

Like, always trying to make people laugh, stuff like that. And, um, yeah, so, like, like, yeah it just normal she was like okay let's send him here and then ended up getting kicked out of military school had like four weeks left we got in like a huge there was like a huge brawl between so it was our dorm was

eighth eighth ninth and tenth graders mostly eighth and ninth though and then but it's ran like the people that are in charge of you are the juniors and seniors And then so, you know, there's a little bit of a power trip there when you're, you know, a junior or a senior and you're in charge of a bunch of kids. It's all boys, you know what I'm saying? It's like, it's all boys school.

So it's like, it's definitely a dick swinging contest there. There's people being like assholes and, you know, it's, you know, they'd, they'd like, they'd set up, like, fight nights, the juniors and seniors and just have us, like, fucking go at each other and just beat the shit out of each other. Like, it'd be insane. And, um, yeah. So, but then, yeah, there ended up being like a huge fight between like the eighth, nine, 10th graders and then the juniors and seniors and that were like in charge of us. And like, yeah, a couple of us like got like kicked out slash pulled out like type thing. I don't know if it can really be classified as like expelled, but like maybe it's like it's on

It's on the line. It's on the line for sure. It's teetering that line. But yeah, and then after that, I told my mom, I was like, I want to go to normal school. So then I came home. I went to public school for the rest of eighth grade. And then, yeah, and then went into my freshman year into like public school. Lasted a semester. And then my mom was like, okay, let's go, you're going to go to a different boarding school. And then so she sent me this college prep academy. It was not a college prep academy. That's how it was marketed as, but it was like a school for like bad kids.

It was like, not bad kids, but like it had to be like really smart kids. And then like kids with like behavior problems that was like, like, it's like, holy shit. Like you can't function in a normal school. obviously I mean I couldn't function that well in the normal school I'm you know what am I saying but like I just um yeah and uh but yeah so then I went there it was all boys it was in uh it was in Ohio and and and Ash Dabula County Grand River Academy cool school I mean I still have two my really good friends Zach and Jack still like both my friends to this

day. And yeah, I met some great friends there have, like, the most insane stories from there. Like, we were doing some really dumb shit there. Like, you know, we got drug tested there. So, like, every weekend, you know, acid doesn't show up on drug tests. So, like, we would be doing a couple bunch of acid and shit. Like, consecutive weekends for, like, the whole entire, like, Friday, Saturday, Sunday like literally like 15 tabs of asses of ass. Like we'd be doing like crazy ass shit and

yeah and like you know it's in all boys boarding school so you guys kind of just do a bunch of dumb shit when you guys are just I feel like when a bunch of boys are together and you're not trying to impress girls that's when like the like

you see how insane like boys are you know what I'm saying like because then it's like you know they're not caring about impressing people and it just yeah it's like you know who cares and uh so yeah it was fun though i actually like i hated it at the time but i miss it like now i miss it like there's certain things i'll look back on like we used to like sneak out of the bathroom window to smoke cigarettes and stuff and it's just like stupid shit but it was like man that was just like it was so much simple like life was so simple back then it was like just very simple times which was

It was cool. And, like, I, I was, like, like, I love watching cartoons because, like, I still watch cartoons, like, to the day. That's all I watch is cartoons. Because it's, like, it makes me feel like a kid, man. Like, I like, like, I like that, like, that, like, just that, that, that, that feeling of, like, you know, the simple times. But, you know, I also like being an adult, too. Being an adult's pretty. Own it all.

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When was the first time you tried drugs? First time I tried drugs, man, I think it was eighth grade. Eighth grade, I smoked weed for the first time. Yeah. Yeah, I smoked cigarettes in like seventh grade, I think. And, but yeah, eighth grade I smoked weed for the first time. It was actually, it was with my mom's ex-boyfriend. and he asked me if I ever smoked and I was lied to him

and I was like yeah he was like he was a he was a cool dude like I really like looked up to him like he was like I really yeah he was a cool dude he like made good money like did insurance very personal very like charismatic like he was just like a cool ass dude like I really really really really liked him and so I was like oh hell yeah you know I smoked wee-bo

before and then like, so yeah, I smoked weed with him for like the first time. And yeah, then like that kind of, then I got a little, then like when I'd be like with my friends, my buddy Blake, him and I would, like he was one of my buddies that smoked weed. And like I was always so scared of smoking weed with people for some reason. And so I would like pretend to smoke. I'd be like, ooh, you know and like not actually hit it but um but yeah the first time yeah first time i smoked was with my mom's ex-boyfriend and sadly he actually recently um committed suicide which was really sad because like i really liked him but man like opiates that like you know he had he had a pill problem and like that's just that's i mean that's the nature of things if you don't figure it the

fuck out. I mean, you, I mean, you die. Eventually, you do die. You know, you can't, you can't live your whole life as an addict because you will die an addict, you know what I mean? Like, eventually it will catch up to you. But, uh, yeah, first time, first time, then, like, first time I tried hard drugs, you know, there was, like, in, like, I went to high school 2013 and 2017. So that was, like, big Xanax time. So like Xanax was pretty, yeah, I was like a, yeah, me and my buddies would do like a bunch of Xanax. I'd say I was like the first like harder drug and then acid as well, like the acid in high school as well. And um, shroom stuff like that. And then, uh, then I think the first time, yeah, first time I tried, like, you know, other stuff was like, like, I did, like,

the first time I did blow was, I think I was probably like 19 years old or something like that. It was, no, 18 years old, 18, 18, I remember I was on spring break. Um, I was actually, it was a few buddies. But, yeah, it was in spring break, and then, I don't know, I didn't really like it. I wasn't a big fan. There was nothing I ever really liked except for, like, weed. I always loved smoking weed. Like, I didn't even like drinking that much.

I wasn't a huge drinker. Always had been a huge, like, weed smoker. Still am a pretty big weed smoker. I mean, I love to smoke weed. It's one of my favorite things. And, uh, sounds lame, but it is one of my favorite things to do. And, uh, but, um, But yeah, then, yeah, never really had like an actual issue with anything until I broke my hand and then I got prescribed.

I think it was, I think it was either Vicodin's or Narcos. Maybe it was like OxyFives or something. Very, like maybe. I don't think it was. I think it was like Vicent or Narcos. car goes and um yeah and then i was on them for like two months straight and like my like the doctor like did not realize that i was on them for like two months straight and then he's like shit you've been on these for two months we actually got to take you off i can't write you another script yanked it out

from underneath me and then you know i always knew what addiction was i had a cousin that overdosed like he overdosed from drugs you know years, years prior. And so, like, I knew what addiction was, but you don't really know what addiction actually is and feels like. You don't know what it's like to be an addict. Or, like, you know, the whole time you're telling yourself,

like, oh, no, like, I don't got a problem with this. Like, you know, it's fine. But, like, you know, during that time, I'm getting prescribed it. So I'm not even thinking, like, of course, I'm getting high off of it sometimes. So I'm not thinking like, oh, man, I'm about to become a junkie.

You know what I mean? No one thinks that when they're first doing shit, especially if it's prescribed by a doctor. Yeah, you think it's just part of the effects. Yeah. And then so you didn't put me on a taper program. Said like, sorry. Can't do it.

Like, can't put you on a tape program, this, that. And the next day came, and like the half-life of the, like, the next couple days came of where I, like, ran out of pills. Then the next day came of where, like, I ran out in the half-life of the, you know, the narco war off. And I was so sick.

And I was sitting in bed and I was like, oh, man, like my stomach was hurting. I was hot, cold, hot, cold. And I'm like, man, I got the flu. Like, this is horrible. Like, I got the flu. This sucks. And I'm talking to my buddy. And he's like, he's like, no, man.

You're like, you got a monkey on your back. And I'm like, what? And he's like, you're withdrawn. I'm like, what are you talking about? What, like, what do you mean I'm withdrawing? He's like, you're withdrawing, bro. I'm like, I'm like, whatever, man, hung up. I'm like, oh, I'm sick.

I'm like, I'm staying at home anyways. Like, I'm sick. I was like, I knew one dude who had, like, like, Perkissettes, regular, like, Perkissette tens. And I was like, okay, like, I'll hit him up. I'll go grab a couple off of him. Hit him up. Grabbed a couple off of him.

took it you know 40 minutes goes by this is before you know before you're busted them down snorting them smoking them doing like fiend shit and um but yeah then 40 minutes goes by I'm just taking them normally and then all of a sudden I feel me I feel great I'm not sick anymore and then it kind of sat in right there I was like oh shit I'm not sick anymore and then I'm like oh shit like I'm not sick anymore and I was like fuck and then like that's when it kind of set in, like, man, like, that's what it is. Like, that's what, that's what physical addiction is to something. That's like, and I was like, holy shit.

And it kind of registered to me in that second, like, damn, this is like, this is crazy. And then so some time went on and I was just doing, you know, like, just the normal percocets and stuff. Well, just the normal percuit. I was doing percocet and stuff. And then time went on. And then, um, and then, uh, I started, then I found this dude. And he had the, you know, your tolerance builds up. And he had the M-Box 30s, the blues.

And, uh, and I'm like, shit, man. Like, these are, you know, normal percassettes. It's 10 milligrams. Usually right now, it's like, well, not right now. I don't know about right now, right now. But it was getting to be like $2 a milligram, $1.50 a milligram. So it's like $15, $20 for a $10. And, you know, you're taking five, six of them to get high.

You're spending, you know, $60 to $100 to get high one time for one day. So it's getting expensive. So then I find this dude and he has the blues. And he's only selling these for like $15,000. $15, $20 a pop. And I'm like, damn, these are cheap. Like, hell yeah. I'm going to buy, I'm going to see how much I can get if I buy a fuck ton of them.

And then, uh, then he ended up selling them for like $5 a pop. And then it was game over after that. And then some time goes on when I was on those, like some time goes on those. Then my buddy, he ends up telling me, he goes, bro, I'm telling you those are fentanyl. And I'm like, shut up. Like, I've been dealing them. There's not fentany on them. Like, I've been doing them.

They look real, shine, like shiny, everything. And by this time, now I'm snorting them, okay? Now it's deeper. And I was deeper into the addiction. And now I know I have a problem. You know what I mean? But, you know, you're ignoring it. And then also by this time I get in trouble too.

And I had crashed my car. Well, I got a DUI the first time. because I blew a 0.02, but I was 19. And then they gave me a DUI because, yeah, I was 19. I was under the age limit. And then a month later, I flipped my car over a tree because I did some Xanax. And then, yeah, flipped my car over a tree.

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Head to Bluetooth.com for details and safety info. A big thanks to Bluechube for sponsoring the podcast. When you got the DUI where you actually like arrested, placed in handcuffs or was like a ticker. it. No, arrested, placed in handcuffs both times, yeah. Tell us about that night you got the DUI. It was bullshit, man. I had about 30 drunk people leave my house. And I was at my buddy low. And he's African American. So, you know, our city is a very white city. Like, it's a very, it's a very white city. and we're at a stoplight and I'm pulling up and I'm going we're turning left because I'm going to drop him off at home

I had one beer this whole night because I have all these people at my mom's house so it's like I'm not getting shit-faced when I have all these people at my mother's house and I spilled beer all over my wife beater though and so I reeked like beer and and so I'm going to drop him off but at the light a cop pulls up next to us when we're turning left and he just looks at us and he's staring at us and i don't have any tin on that car so it was just like a normal jeep and then uh yeah then all of a sudden we get down the road we go we start getting closer to downtown norfield all of a sudden we have four cop cars one in front one behind one on each side surrounding us and pulling us over and we're like what the fuck And then, yeah, make us get out of the car crazily, like real crazily.

It ended up being, there ended up being some stuff, not that my buddy did, but like someone that used his name to do stuff to do crimes under his name. And so, yeah, his name was used as an alias for someone else. and then so that's how that's how very much we were treated like it was crazy like it was nuts but there's no way they could have known that until you know they got us all out of the car so it's just kind of a little bit of a coincidence that you know at the traffic light you were there and then we pull up to the next traffic light we're surrounded by four cops all of a sudden kind of crazy i mean you know what i mean it was like two in the morning but yeah whatever

getting, uh, they made him walk home, so he had to walk the rest, like, he had like four miles left to get home. They had to walk home, and then they took me to jail, and I blew a point so I had to sit in the jail cell for two hours until I blew, until I blew zeros. And then, thank God I had, I had money on me. So then I bailed myself out. I walked home. I called my buddy that I call my buddy. He works at the gas station right down the street from my house. And I was like, listen, man, like, I just got in jail. Please come pick me up, bro.

I'll give you some money. Like, he's like, man, what? He's like, I'll come pick you up right now. Like, hang on. Comes and picks me up, drops me off. Left my mom a voicemail. It was like 4, 5 a.m. I was like, mom, I got a DUI.

Please call me in the morning. And I was like, fuck, I should have left that. And, uh, yeah. And then, uh, that's, uh, got put on probation, me on probation. Honestly, I, I wish from the beginning in my head, I really wanted to just do, just give me the time. I don't want to do any probation. Like, just let me, let me sit for however long I need to sit for.

And like, let me let's that just be the end of it. And because I knew I couldn't do probation, because I couldn't, stop smoking weed for the life of me. I was a little fucking dumb idiot. And at that time, I was still more scared of my mom than I was the law. I still hadn't experienced what, like, the consequences of messing with, like, the system can do and what it's like in the system. And then, um, yeah, so then I got on probation. Then I, boom, immediately, violation, violation, immediately just started violating like crazy. And, um, I had like 68 total probation violations before I ended up figuring my shit out. But then, uh, but yeah, then after that first

month, boom, I go to court a week. So I get the first DUI. I go to court. I go to court. And then, um, I go to court a month later about. And then a week after court, I get my license back. I go out with some buddies get fucked up take a bunch of Xanax uh do some molly some other shit and uh hop in the way hop get home hop in my car and then flip my car over uh yeah flip my car up a tree three houses down at my mom's house and then uh so i said the first one was an unfair DUI the second one was deserved the second one was deserved but they ended up marking it down to a reckless driving and some other shit because I did some other shit. So that happened a month later.

So then this one gets more. So then they run my sentence congruent. And they're just like, you know what? You're just going to be on probation for a year and a half. You have to do this class. You have to take this thing. I'm like, okay, boom. Immediately.

I'm like, yeah, get fucked. And like, because I had my med card too. So I have my med card. So in my mind, I'm like, fuck you, dude. I'm allowed to smoke weed. Like, I'm allowed to do this. I have a med card because I had my buddy, he had a super drunk in the same court as I was in,

but they let him use his med card, and they didn't let me use my med card. And he got his after he got in the, I mean, he got in trouble. So it was like, I've had my med card. Why can't I use mine? So that was my like, that was my like stuck up thing. in my head. I'm like, fuck you. Like, I'm just going to do what I want. And then, um, yeah,

I had a bunch of probation violations. My mom was helping me out with the lawyer fees and everything. It was, it was getting crazy. And then, um, then she was like, okay, I'm done on that. I'm not, I'm not helping you out anymore. You're not going to help yourself. So then during this time, though, that's when I start taking the blues, because I figure out, wait, wait, wait, wait. No. So then, a little bit after that I started taking the fake percassettes. But yeah, so then they ran my sentence concurrent. And then I ended up getting a bunch of probation violations. And then I had to go to jail for like, it was like four weeks or something like that.

Wait, you actually went to jail? Yeah, yeah. What was that experience like for you? Dude, it was just super boring. It was the most boring time of my life. It was like I hated every single fucking day. I wanted to leave every single day. I literally, I could not stand being there for the life of me, man.

Like I read, I read the Bible. I read a bunch. I just read a bunch. I read day and night. I was finishing like a book a day, almost like, yeah, about a book. good day. I was just flying through them. And then I was in a 60 man cell too. So it was like, the first cell I was in was a six man cell. And then I did that for two weeks. And then the second time I went was for like four weeks. And that was the 60 man cell. And man, so the first night that I,

the first time that I get, so I get there and it's all the way up north, so fucking far up north in Michigan and they're like there's this kid he's about like he's like 17 years old and I'm like 19 and he's like man he's like

you don't want to go to cell block 60s like that's where they keep like the waiting the weighting the Fed cases and I was like oh yeah like I'm here for a probation violations bro like I'm not going to be in there then they're like Austin Shepherd I'm like yep cell block 60 I'm like what the fuck

fuck and like this kid he was in there for like some domestic violence shit some crazy shit this kid was like a nutso i hope he figured out whatever the hell was wrong with him because man like he like he like his yeah his brother was fucking his girlfriend so then he like found out and kept beating the shit out of him he got out of it they let him out of jail and then he went and beat the shit out of him again then they brought him right back to jail and then so that's why he was he was like a nuts okay i was in like meth county like that's that's definitely where i was it was was for sure were you afraid at all um a little well because so then going in they're like cellbox 60 so then i'm going i get they i've got their late as fuck so i get on my bomb boom top

bunk i look across the thing and then these dudes just start beating the fuck out of this white dude and I'm like oh man I'm gonna get killed in here it's just because I'm white and I was like I'm done for and then uh come to find out in the morning and dude was like a child molester at tromo so like that's why he was getting the fucking shit beat out of him and I was like oh like I'm I'm actually good and then like you know guard's still up on guard I was still on guard I was chilling with all like the vatos like all the mexican dudes are my people like that was my bunky and like the two guys next to us as well and um they were all like shredded. They were shredded as fuck and meth heads too. And, um, but they were cool guys.

They were really cool guys. And they really like took care of me. Like my first, that my first like official day, this dude's going around. And he goes, I know I gave you my fucking calendar a couple days ago. I, I want that shit back. You've had it for like three days now. I'm like, I just got here. Like, what are you talking about? And like I got here last night. Like, you know what I mean? and he's like, I know you have my fucking calendar. Next time I walk around here, I want it. I'm like, what the fuck? So then I went to Tony, who was my bunkmate.

I'm like, dude, this guy thinks I have his calendar. Like, I just, like, I just got in here last night. Like, I haven't even talked to him. And he goes, don't worry. Like, you know, he comes up here. We got, like, we'll say something. So he comes around again. And then, like, the three vato stand up.

And they're like, back the fuck up. Like, he just got here last night. He doesn't have your fucking calendar. Like, no, no, no. They started arguing, going back and forth. And then the guy takes another lap. And then he comes up to me and he's like, and then they stand up. And he goes, no, no, no.

He's like, my bad man. He's like, I thought you were that dude over there. And he points out to this, like, dude that's like just as tall as me. This white dude that's just as tall as me, but like, meth the fuck out. I'm like, you thought I looked like him, bro? What the fuck? And so we ended up being cool. And yeah, man, so just ended up playing spades.

You play spades? Yeah, just played spades. watched a RuPaul's drag race and red books. Do you still remember how to play spades? No. No. I'm not, I'm not a skill. I was that I'm, I wasn't that skilled of a spades player. What was your favorite kind of book to read? Um, sometime we'll get your head out of the situation where you were, you know, like a fiction is not real, right? Fiction is. Yeah, fiction is fantasy. Fiction's fantasy. Like James Patterson. Yeah, yeah. Like, yeah, a lot of James Patterson. I love James Patterson. I love James Patterson. That's what I would read every day during the Beast Challenge, just like I did in real prison. Yeah, yeah. And then some nonfiction, like some John Grisham, you know, John Grisham is

Those read like, I love a book that reads like a movie. Yeah, no, they do. They do. And I have a really good, I have a very, very, very good imagination. So, like, I can see a movie while I'm reading a book, I can play out a movie in my head. So I like I do pretty, if I have a book, I do find extended period of time like by myself, like on my own without any stuff. Even, yeah, like I've been in multiple situations where I haven't had to have my phone. You know what I mean? And so it's like I find peace in it because I know. There aren't many guarantees in life. Your energy won't always show up. Your genes won't always fit. But I promise you this. If just Thrive Prophibre

If a probiotic doesn't work for you, I'll refund every penny. Hi, I'm Tina, Just Thrive co-founder. And while most probiotics die in your stomach acid, Just Thrive is clinically proven to arrive 100% alive for gut health results you could feel. Better digestion, less bloat, healthy immunity, improve sleep and clear skin. Take the Just Thrive probiotic challenge today. Visit justthrivehealth.com slash podcast. Take control today with Just Thrive.

There aren't many guarantees in life. energy won't always show up, your genes won't always fit, but I promise you this. If Just Thrive probiotic doesn't work for you, I'll refund every penny. Hi, I'm Tina, Just Thrive co-founder. And while most probiotics die in your stomach acid, Just Thrive is clinically proven to arrive 100% alive for gut health results you could feel. Better digestion, less bloat, healthy immunity, improve sleep and clear skin. Take the Just Thrive probiotic challenge today. Visit justthrivehealth.com podcast. Take control today with Just Thrive. There aren't many guarantees in life. Your energy won't always show up. Your genes won't always fit. But I promise you this. If Just Thrive probiotic doesn't

work for you, I'll refund every penny. Hi, I'm Tina. Just Thrive co-founder. And while most probiotics die in your stomach acid, Just Thrive is clinically proven to arrive 100% alive for gut health results you could feel. Better digestion, less bloat, healthy immunity, improve sleep and clear skin. Take the Just Thrive Probiotic Challenge today. Visit justthrivehealth.com slash podcast. Take control today with Just Thrive.

I know how to entertain myself well. Do you think Jail prepared you for Love Island? Because you don't get your phone on Love Island. Well, man, yeah. Jail did. And then, like, I was also in the military for a brief stint of time, too. I was in the Army. And so, like, basic

training was, like, another instance where I didn't have my phone. And then, so then when I went to jail, then they ordered me to three months of inpatient rehab. And then so I had to go to inpatient rehab for three months. And towards the end, you know, I was popping perks and stuff, you know, all that other shit. But towards the end, you know, now I'm around all these people talking about heroin, talking about fentanyl, talking about all this other stuff. So now before I was like, oh, never catch me doing that. Like, I'll do perks.

And there's not now, now that I've done it all, there's no fucking difference. If you're doing perks every day, it's the same thing as doing fucking heroin. It's, I mean, if you're shooting up, it's a different story. But like, if you're snorting heroin every day, it's the same thing if you're, you know, popping perks every day. It's both opiates at the end of the day. They both ruin your life. They both put lock you in a fucking cage. Like, you become a.

slave to it. You become a slave to getting high. And, um, because I hate when people try to say, like, oh, man, I only pop perks. I don't do that shit. Like, bro, yes. Like, you, can you, can you, can you make it a day without shaking or waking up feeling like you want to get sick? No. Okay, well, then buddy, you might as well be on heroin. It's the same fucking thing. And, um, yeah, so, but all that starts to get talked to me. So then I get out, I'm like, man, I'm like try this heroin shit. Like, you know, these perks really aren't hitting anymore. Now I'm just taking them so I don't get sick. Like, maybe I'll try this shit. And so I try that. I snort some heroin for like first time. And it was like right before COVID. And then, uh, yeah, I get high as fuck.

And I'm like, holy shit, this is the thing I've been missing. My brain's constantly going. Like, I'm very much, like, if I'm being, if I'm silent in the moment, it's because I'm very much sitting back and thinking. My mind does not stop going. Like, it'll go, go, go, go, go. And I found with that, it was like the first time where it was silence. Then there was nothing up here.

There was nothing talking. There was no, oh, you need to do this. you need to do this, you need to go do this, you need to make sure you're doing this. And it sounds fucked up, but for it was like for the first time, it was peace. It was like, holy shit, this is the thing I've been missing.

But it turns off to all the chatter. So you don't have any chatter of, you know, any chatter at all of like, man, a little chatter is good because that's what your inner monologue is telling you, you know, you need to go do this. You need to think about this. So you start not getting a fuck about anything, but just getting high.

That's all it becomes. And that's all my life was for good five years. Like it was just day in and day out. You know, I'd have some clean, I'd have some clean stints here and there. Honestly, I'd probably portray like I had, like, you know. I'd be like, oh, yeah, I've been clean for six months. I don't think I strung together probably. more than 20 days during that whole five-year span.

I would, you know, fake being clean all the time. And, but the thing is, you could so tell, you can tell when so, you can tell, like, your face is sunken, you're gray, you don't look like, you don't look like you're alive, you look like you're dead, you're fucking non-outin-outin shit, you know what I mean, it looks insane. And, but I was a pretty high-functioning addicts, though. that was that was one of my problems like eventually it gets to the point where it gets like you know it's the point where it's not you can't function like it gets to a point where it's hard to but for a very long time like i can coast for a very long time and so that was my biggest issue

was like i don't have a problem i'm not sitting on the side of the street you know what i mean i'm going i'm getting up i'm going to work i'm going up i'm going to do this I'm not sitting on the side of the street. And so that becomes, when that becomes your rationale, that's such a skewed perspective of, like, looking like, like, that's your baseline right there as being on the street. That's what that's, that's the baseline for yourself. Oh, I'm not on the street.

I'm doing great. Like, what the fuck, man? Like, so, like, literally your view becomes so distorted. And I remember there was a time where I had gone. gotten clean. And then I had moved out to Denver for a short amount of time. And Denver is full of homeless. The homeless is really, really horrible there. The drugs are horrible there. It's an open air drug. It's an open air drug market there. Literally, you can buy drugs right in front of the cops. They can't do anything about it. Literally. You can smoke crack right in front of a cop.

they can't do anything. And, but I was doing those fake purgousets, those blues, I was doing about 40 to 50 of them a day. And I was snorting them, smoking them, everything. And I got to a point where, so in the morning, I ran out,

I was getting, I got to the point where I was about an hour from withdrawing. drawing between doses. Once, like a, if more than an hour went by, I'd start, you know, I'd start having a little monkey on my back. And, um, and then, uh, I was, I ran out in the morning. I was like 9 a.m. and I was like, fuck. Like, I'm fucked. I'm, I'm, I'm hitting up my guy. He's not answering me. Not answering. And then, and I'm like, man, I need to, I was like,

I need to go take lunch right now and I need to go find some. So I tell my boss, I'm like, yeah, I need to go take lunch right now. I got to go handle some shit. He's like, you know what, good? You're good. Go do your thing. You got an hour. I got an hour.

My office is 20 minutes away from the city, like away from downtown Denver. I drive to downtown Denver to, because there's homeless encampments all over. You just ask random homeless people. and they have a bunch of, like all of them have a bunch of, all them there have blues on them, had blues or heroin or fentanyl on them. And so I find someone, and I find this chick, and she's sitting there with her boyfriend,

and they're sitting on Home Depot buckets. I'm like, you got blues? She's like, yeah. And I was like, how much? She's like $2 a pop. See, I went from going from Michigan where they were $5 to $10 a pop to now in Denver where they're $1 to $2 a pop.

So now it's, I'm paying one to two dollars for these motherfuckers, you know what I mean? 20 bucks used to get me four, 20 bucks, now it gets me 20. So it's like, there goes any moderation and any portion control, you know what I mean? When they're a dollar a pop, it's insane. And so then she's, you know, fiddling out grabbing them. And then her boyfriend's next to me and he's, and mean, and me, well, you know, It's, mind you, it's 10 a.m. on like a Tuesday or something. Our boyfriend smoked crack and he's like, you want to smoke some crack?

And I'm like, yeah, fuck it. I'll smoke some crack. And like, you know, I've smoked crack like maybe two times previously before that. And, yeah, but I was like, yeah, fuck it. Like, I'll do it. And then, yeah, did it. And as I was doing it, a family is walking. past me. And at first they probably see me, I'm dressed in my business attire. So they probably

see me sitting down with these homeless people. They're like, wow, look at this guy's like helping, you know, helping them out or some shit. And then they see me hitting a crack pipe. And it's like, oh, wait, no, shit. Like, he's, he's one of them, you know? And like, that was the look of disgust from the mother of the children that walked past. It was like, holy shit, man, where have I found myself again? And then, yeah, it was just like, what am I doing again? And then I remember I just went home and I was just like fucking A. Like, I need to figure this shit out.

And then, oh, man. Then a little time went, a little time went by, another month went by. I ended up doing a bunch of Xanax. So I blacked out for probably about a month straight, probably about 20 days straight. Me and my roommate got in a huge fight. I ran out of Zanax one day, and that's what got me out of the Xanax binge that I was on. And I walked out like, oh, what's that man? Like, nothing had happened.

He's like, what do you mean? Like, I'm like, what do you mean? What do you mean? He's like, we're not cool right now. Like, what's going on? I'm like, what do you mean, man? Like I thought we're all good. Like, what's happening?

He's like, what's the last thing you remember? And I was like, me and our buddy, we were all cooking steaks in the back thing. He was like, that was literally like a month ago. And I thought it was like last week. And I'm like, what the fuck? And I started thinking. And I'm like, holy shit. And I start remembering bits and pieces.

And I'm like, fucking, hey, I've been blacked out for about a month. And then, um, so then from there, of course, what do I do? I'm going to go get some more Xanax. And then go get some more Xanax. Another week goes by. And then my mom and dad banded my roommate. Shout out my roommate, Zach, man. That's one of my best friends from my boarding school.

That's who I lived in Denver with. But he called my mom and he was like, listen, I'm super worried about him. He didn't do any of that shit. Like, he didn't do any of that shit. I never had really a lot of friends. I never hung out with people that did that. I was, like, I never liked hanging out with junkies because you can't trust junkies. You know what I mean?

Like, I, like, yeah, you just can't. You can't. It's hard to be, that's why addicts never have friends for very long because they're always fucking each other over. And, but, yeah, I so I just couldn't, uh, what was I saying? fucking I'm Your friend called Your parents Yeah

So Zach Zack ends up Calling my Mom And then my mom And dad Ben together And they fly out

To Denver To come at me So now Mind you I'd watch A Joe Rogan Podcast About a year

Prior Oh yeah A year prior And I was like Man If I ever Want to get clean

Again I'm going to do It this way And he talked about ibegain on this podcast i forget with who he was talking about it with but they were talking about it with for like PTSD and addicts and i was like man i want to do that if i ever we don't decide to get clean and uh and then i realized i sat back i realized holy shit my life's in shambles my mom came and dad came took me out to dinner i was nodding out in my noodles and shit at the table it was

horrible. And I'm like, listen, you need to get help. And I said, listen, I'm not doing normal rehab. I've done normal rehab. It doesn't work for me. I'm not doing the Suboxin shit. I'm not doing the methadone shit.

Like, it's just that it's for me in my head, for some people, for a lot of people, it's great that it works for you. You know, Suboxin, if it works for you, that's great. Methadone works for you, that's great. in my head, I'm still hooked on to something.

I'm still attached to something. So in my head, it's like, man, I might as well just do dope because if I go without the Suboxin or if I go without this methadone, I'm going to be sick as fuck. You know what I mean? So it's like either way, you're still physically addicted to something. And so in my head, it's like, you know, other people,

you know, it works for me. In my head, it doesn't. In my head, I'm like, I might as well just do dope. And, um, yeah. And so I was like, this is, this is what I want to do. This is what I want to do. I want to try this Ibegain shit. And my mom and dad were hell of supportive of it.

They're like, you know what? We know you've tried everything, you know, like, we've heard about, you know, other medicines and stuff working that are not like Western medicine, you know, and, uh, let's give it a try. So then I go to this place, I end up doing it. But so I have a very, I had open art surgery when I was like four months old. And because of that, I have a very low resting heart rate. Like my resting heart rate is like 40 to 50 BPM.

Like it just, it's very low. It gets down to like 35 sometimes. And they were like, you're, because Ibegain makes your heart rate 20 lower. So, like, if that shit goes down, if my heart rate goes down to 15 beats per minute, that's, like, you're fucking debt. And so, um,

they were like, listen, we're not going to do it. We're not going to do the Ibegain. Like, you can do this mushroom fucking thing. Did the mushroom thing. It was like, man, like this shit, I hate mushrooms. And I was like, man, this shit's dumb. Like, I wanted to do the I begin thing. Like, I came here for,

reason. And then so I go home, I start fucking off right away. I'm like, fuck that. Well, that didn't work. And then so I start using like crazy again. And then the guy who owns the Ibegame place, he became like a mentor to me. And he's like, Austin, come back down here. You want to do it? He's like, he's like, because I was like, I'm going to die anyways. I was like, like, I'm going to die an addict if I don't figure this out. And not that anything's, you know, nothing's a silver bullet, nothing's a cure all, of course. But having something that scrubs your opiate receptors clean and basically resets your neural pathways, because that's what it's suggested that it does. And that's legitimately what it does feel like it does. I mean, you pop out of it with no withdrawal

afterwards. Like, that's insane. And like, like, it's insane to have pop out of it. And, like, it's insane to have pop out of it with no withdrawal, like going into it with a withdrawal and coming out of it with, like, within 30 minutes of taking it, immediately, it's like, you immediately, like, feel relieved. And, but on my, uh, experience, I had, uh, I lived until I was, about, like, 62 years old. I had kids, I had two kids, wife. junkie wife. I was a junkie. Like I left, I literally lived it day in and day out where I left that place, went home, kept doing the same shit, moved down to Florida, like, just was living like a rat, like a raggedy ass fucking piece of shit existence where I was not doing anything productive,

but just doing drugs. And, uh, and it was so real. It was so like literally, man, I'm telling you, like I lived it day in and day out. Like it was crazy. Like it's, it's like an 18 hour trip, but I lived it day in and day out. And, uh,

yeah, and then I came out of it and I was like, holy shit, what the fuck am I doing with my life? Like, it was almost like God, universe, whatever you believe in,

I believe in God. I almost felt like they, he was telling me, yo, this is what your life is going to be if you leave here and keep doing this same fucking shit. And I was like, it just felt like, it's just nothing. I think it's Matthew McConaughey that says, said this.

But I may not know what I want, but I know what I don't want. And it's like, man, I did not want to be a junkie anymore. I didn't want to be, yeah, I just, I didn't want to be a fiend. I didn't want to fucking, I saw, like, I literally, I saw it like, I saw it like in and out of like what my life would actually be like if I kept going down that path. And at the same time, I also knew that that was telling me if you do live, you know, if you do come out of this and live a good life and like, you know, be a good person.

and like, you know, stop fucking off and be a productive member of society, like, I will reward you with an amazing life. And it kind of just all snapped to me in that moment. Like, holy shit. Like, this is, this is it. Like, this is what, this is what, like, I need to stop doing this shit. Like, I need to start living life. And I just realized how much time I was missing with my sisters.

I was like, fucking A. like it just feels like five years just disappeared like they it's nuts like just went by so fast and you don't realize how and you know the older you get your your time frame reference gets you know bigger and bigger and so uh yeah i mean stuff starts it's like the years start flying by and i was like holy shit man and i just started realizing how much i was missing and uh and that i realized I didn't want to miss anymore. And yeah, that's kind of when things changed. So it wasn't a silver bullet,

but it definitely put me in the right direction. It really put me in the right direction of like, I left there knowing what I didn't want. And I didn't want to be that piece of shit junkie anymore. I didn't want to be the son that's worried about or the friend that, you know, you're embarrassed. to, you know, hang around or you don't want to hang around because he's all junked out and shit. This episode is sponsored by Brunt Workwear, and I have to show you these because I've

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Our listeners get $10 off their entire order with Code Locked in at checkout. That's Brunt Workware.com and use Code Locked In. Order today and let them know you heard it here on the show. That link to Brunt Workware will also be available in the description in this episode. Let's get back to it. Do you think it was less about the psychedelics and more about just you needing clarity and looking at the bigger picture to have that real. I think honestly because I really don't like the medicine because on the physical side of things because that withdrawal is so tough to get through.

That's like the most thing of what makes addicts go back is not getting through the withdrawal. And I'm telling you to clear it up probably about 85% of all the withdrawal. like 85% of it. The 15% was like I still couldn't sleep that well. But like that's way better than twitching and shit and feeling like ass. And but I think I think I don't like the thing is in that like in that 18 hour trip that I had, it wasn't only I started thinking of things not from even like my stand. or like my mom's standpoint.

I just started thinking of things from like a human standpoint. And it was like such a far out lens of, yeah, just like a such a far back lens like just like the different stuff in life, I guess. Like the just like all the different. You just start thinking so differently. Like it makes you think so like in ways you've never thought of thinking before. And, um, and I think. I, like, I think, yes, my perspective needed to wind up, but I think the medicine also really does help so much. Like, I mean, it is, it's insane. I mean, it really, it really does. It really does do, like, wonders. Like, even people, you know, I mean, they got people with, like, a lot of veterans go and do that. They have, like, a veterans week where veterans go and for it was PTSD. And, like, I, like,

it really helps a lot of these veterans like just because I really think it just makes you think in a way that you never have thought of like thought from before like your thought pattern is so wild and different from what it usually is and that's what I think that medicine like helps allow you to like kind of work through that and I feel like it helped me work with work out with work out work through a lot of like anxiety and depression stuff too like subconsciously like I mean you pop out of it and like you feel like amazing like it's it's honestly insane you feel like you take the medicine trip for you know those 18 hours and the next day you're super raw and emotional you know if someone says hi to you you'll start crying and then after that

You're a little foggy And then within the next three days You like And you pop out of it And you feel fucking amazing Like brand new Do you think you would be dead If you didn't have that experience?

So I think Yeah I think My thinking with it is If God universe thinks that you can If God universe Doesn't think you can get clean

Or maybe you can But this is how my thinking was in the time of uh and everyone has their own different ways of thinking this is just what got me through mine and um god it god saw like my cousin who odied maybe in my eyes god didn't think that he could get clean so he wanted to give him an out early he wanted to give the people that od early, I always looked at it as like, God is giving them an out because he knows, like, it's, it's so, they're so, you're so far gone. It's going to be very hard to get back. And that's kind of how I looked at it in my head. And then so I looked at it as like, God knows I can get clean. I know I can

get clean. If I don't want to get clean, God's going to make me live the longest, shittiest life possible. and um because i tried to OD many a times and i should have OD many a times and um yeah and i didn't and so it just it always stuck with me that like man god knows i can get clean so he's not gonna get me the easy way out it'll be a long shit life and i'd probably still be you like i'd probably still be fucking awful and it'll probably still be using and shit, yeah, if I didn't have that experience, because it did stop me in my tracks. And, like, I mean, I've always been in therapy since a very young age. So it's like, I'm versed in everything. I know how to do everything. I know, especially now, like, this very second, like, I've done

every single type of therapy, you can imagine. So now I'm very well versed in it. But, like, at the time, like, I was very well versed in, you know, I guess the mental, like the human mental. And, yeah, and I just think, yeah, I think if I didn't have that experience, it definitely, I'd still be here, but I'd be a fucking absolute mess. Like, I'd be an absolute mess for sure. So after that experience, do you quit hardcore drugs? Yeah, I'm, well, yeah, I quit doing opiates, yeah. Like, you know, I still smoke weed in your own. Yeah, I still smoke weed, still drink, you know.

man like a concert or something i'll do like some mushrooms or something like but just a little bit only a tiny little bit i don't like doing psychedelics like that anymore but uh but yeah i smoke a lot of weed smoke a lot of weed um drinking like i was telling you earlier man like i really had uh i really had to pull it back like just because it was getting like every single it was like four days a week, five days a week, because then I'm also drinking when I'm just like chilling with friends or something too. And so I'll be, I'd be drinking like, damn, I'm drinking five days a week. Like right now, I'm down like 27 pounds since like getting off the show because I've just been drinking, smoking weed, like partying since getting off the show. And like I kind of feel like

I kind of had a little check, like a little self-check where things started to get a little away from me. And I was, and I had, I had to grasp back on the reality and reeled back in. And I went back home, grounded myself, remembered why I wanted to get all into this, why, like, I was like, yeah why i even like you know yeah just wanted to like i just needed to stop i was just drinking so much i was drinking going out and one because i had to for you know the events and then two just like going out and um and then also got a little uh yeah got a got a little loose with the booger sugar for a little couple days. What's bugger sugar? Cocaine.

And got a little loose with that for a few too. And yeah, and then like, I just looked in the mirror and I was like, fucking A man. Like, don't you want this to like, don't you want like to do more than this? Like isn't like, this is not why I like, you know, like posting and stuff. Like, this is not like, this is not why I wanted to continue so. media, you know what I mean? Because we were just thrown into it. And it's like, man, I want to keep give this my best shot.

And it's like, I'm 26. Like, I've already had my party addiction life. I don't need to have that again. You know what I mean? And so it was like, I had like a little like nine-day bender. And I was like, holy shit. Stopped. Went back home.

Recouped for like a week. And was like, okay. I need to check myself. before I wreck myself. And I was like, this is not, because my, I'm not,

I like to go out, sure I like to have a couple of drinks, but like I'm not, I'm not a huge partier. I'm not like that crazy of a party. Like I, of course I love to party. He doesn't love a good party.

But like, that's not like really what I am anymore. It's not really what I've been doing like the last like couple years. Like I've been doing a lot of like, just like focusing on my mental, my well-being and my, my health and my wellness. I mean, man, I've gone to the gym four times since I've been out.

I used to go to the gym four times a fucking day, basically. Like, I was in the gym 25-8. Like, literally, I was in the gym all the time. And rollerblading. I had hobbies, this, that, boom, boom. That's what I'm saying. I started to realize, like, man, like, it just feels like I'm just going out. Like, it just feels like I'm just going out. And this is just dumb. This isn't fulfilling. I'm not doing anything fun. And like, well, what, what fucking content is me going out? There's no fucking content in me going out. Like, I don't want that to be my content anyways.

I'm kind of an idiot when I drink. So it's like I really don't want that on display for the world. And, um, so, um, yeah. And like, I really, I'm really passionate about like, you know, the wellness stuff, like the mental health things and stuff like that and the addiction side of things and uh different alternative ways of living and being i guess and i kind of like you know what man that's like the kind of stuff that like i like doing and that also got me away and got me got me away from a certain life and put me in a new direction and like i have all that to thank you.

for all of this, you know what I mean? So it's like if I can, if I can help, like, you know, return the favor a little bit of, like, you know, either, you know, making people laugh or like, even like, because I've been saying I'm going to start, I'm going to start these meditation Mondays for like fucking weeks now. And like, people keep asking me about them. But I haven't done them. I haven't had a place to live. But, like, that's not an excuse.

It takes five seconds to fucking go live and do something. But yeah, it's like shit like that. Like I want to do more stuff that's like, like the other day I want my buddy Jeremiah, who was also on the show with me, we did fencing. We went with a U.S. Olympian and he invited us to do fencing, to teach us fencing. And yeah, and then Jeremiah and I, we battled each other fencing. But it was like shit like that.

Like that's fun as fuck, man. like more living stuff like there's no there's no con that's you can that's that's having fun making a memory and you can also record it too and put it up somewhere and it's just like you know you can you know get paid from that or like whatever you know you can like that like that kind of be your yeah like that your your avenue you know what i mean like just stuff like that It's like it's, it's cool to have the opportunity to be able to do that. And it's cool that, like, people also, it's so weird still to think that people I want to, like, watch you and shit.

Like, that shit does not register to me still, like, of, like, damn, you genuinely, like, you want to know what I'm doing. And it's like, that's crazy to me just because, yeah, it's just like never in a million years I would have thought that, you know, never in a million years would I have ever thought any of this was going to happen. What was your career before getting cast in Love Island? So I did,

I used to work in logistics for a good amount of time. I was a freight broker. And then when I moved down to Florida, kind of had like a little third slash quarter life crisis or something. Yeah. And I was like, man, I can't sit in an office. I can't do this. And I built slash, like did pool maintenance, like all in high school and a little in the

college. So I was like, you know, I'm going to be a, I'm going to just go, be a pool technician and learn like the system side of things. And then I was going to like get my contractor license and like try and, you know, do build, like build pools down in Florida. So then I moved down to Florida. I was building pools for about like six months or doing pool maintenance for about six months.

And but when I moved down, I'm telling you, man, like, I really did manifest like some shit to happen. Like, because I moved down to Canada, I mean, to Canada, look, moved down to Florida. My buddy from Canada, he pays his rent by posting on TikTok like gym content.

And he's like, bro, I'm telling you to start, posting on TikTok. He's like, just be consistent with it. Post whatever, but just post every day. He's like, I'm telling you something will happen. It's crazy because Love Island hit me up off of one of my TikToks. And, but I post it every day. And it just shows like, man, discipline and consistency beats out everything. If you are consistent and you have like discipline in something and you just keep doing something every single day, some shit will happen. I mean, of course, there's luck in there and, you know, stuff like that. But like, I mean, I sat out to like figure something out in this space.

And it's crazy that like the biggest reality dating show hit me up and randomly was like, and like I can't believe I even got on that fucking show. Like, I can't, like, it doesn't register to me that, like, I got on it. It's so, it's so crazy to me. Like, you have no idea, Ian. I never would have thought, like, in a million years I would ever be on some shit like that. And, like, I've never really had, like, I've had a passion to, like, mostly on writing side of things. I like do, I like to do a lot of writing.

I like to do, like, a lot of comedy writing and, like, because I've always wanted to do, like, animate make my own animated series like south park type of beat and um yeah and so i was like the writing side of things but never yeah never like i had a real passion for like no one has a passion for being on reality tv if you have a passion for being on reality tv i mean you're not fucking going on reality tv that's lame um i mean it's not lame but you know who has a passion for going on reality tv but anyways did your past come up all during the casting? Man, I was very open with all my shit.

Like, I was so open with it. And it's honestly, I feel like it's a bit of a miss on Love Islands part, because I talked about my addiction a fair amount. And if you guys are like this diverse show that you, like, talk about you are, like, why, you know, that's something you could have showcased as well, you know what I mean?

But, like, you know, they didn't put any of that stuff in the actual show. show. Which is kind of crazy. Yeah. Because then people were like, oh, he was hiding his addiction. Like, I wasn't hiding shit. Everyone, everyone knew.

Everyone full on knew. I'm very open with about my, like, anyone can ask me, just why I'm so open with it is because it's like, damn, I want to, like, look how far the fuck I've came from there. Because, I mean, smoking crack on the side of a fucking street with some two homeless people. Like, now I'm sitting in a fucking podcast room with you, you know what I'm saying?

Like, shit's just crazy how life can go. You can go from anywhere. You can go from anywhere. You can figure anything out if you just fucking solid up your head and decide, I'm going to figure this out and I'm actually going to do it. Like, it really is, like, life is really crazy. If you do work at something, like, I mean, you will get fucking results. Like, it's, it's just, it's insane.

It's super cool. industry kind of like it's it's definitely changing but it's still a very taboo subject to a bend a prison or to have a drug addiction yeah now they're being more accepting of it i mean look at like the charlie sheen documentary he's making a comeback now you look at like the guys from jersey shore who all talked about addiction but how many reality tv stars especially like you just came fresh off of it this year it's very new i don't know how many that are popular right off the bat that come and talk about addiction or arrest or anything. Look at Jersey Shore. It took them years to be able to.

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probiotic doesn't work for you, I'll refund every penny. Hi, I'm Tina. Just Thrive co-founder. And while most probiotics die in your stomach acid, Just Thrive is clinically proven to arrive 100% alive for gut health results you could feel better digestion, less bloat, healthy immunity, improve sleep and clear skin. Take the Just Thrive Probiotic Challenge today. Visit just thrive.com slash podcast. Take control today with Just Thrive. Be vocal about it without taking their careers and talk about it, you know? I give you a lot of credit for that. Thank you, man. I appreciate it. But it's like, man, because that's the reality of things. Because shit does not discriminate. You know what I mean? Like,

That's like the biggest thing that, like, I hope that people take away from, like, any story, but particularly in my story and addiction is, like, it does not discriminate. Like, I didn't grow up in, like, you know, like, statistically I should not have been, like, an opiate addict or, like, not statistically, or, theoretically, I should not have been an opiate addict with, like, you know, how, you know. nurturing my mom was and stuff like that. Of course, I had other stuff that set it up, you know, a lot of traumas growing up that set it up for that. But it's just, yeah, it just, it doesn't discriminate. And it can happen to anyone. And it's, yeah, it's crazy, man. And like, you know, I've been

clean from opiates for almost five years now. And still there's like, even, I mean, there's more temptation now than ever because it's like there's so much stress on my plate that I haven't had before and uh yeah so it's still like I want to talk about it because it's still something I'm still even dealing with till this day you know what I mean I'm not using but it's still of course it's still a thought will cross my head like oh man like especially if I'm if I'm sitting there at night trying to sleep and all all I'm thinking about is man I got this to do this to do this do this do this do and I'm just going through a list and can't shut my brain up of course I'm like man you know would shut my brain up right now a little percocet or something of course that goes to my

head am I gonna act on it fuck no but it's like I just like I like I like yeah I just hope it shows people like man like shit doesn't discriminate and it's shit that like everyday people like deal with like and even not everyday people deal with because like there's no sense in trying to hide something that is such a mind like it's for me it's such a big piece of my like of who I am because one I feel like one

I feel like it gained me such a different perspective on life and like such a different perspective on um yeah I feel like my humor is like I feel like since I've seen so many fucked up shit like I can make fun of my I find the funniest I find the funniest stuff like in the darkest things like I always yeah I just think dark like I have very very dark humor and I think it comes from like

all that and like I met the craziest all walks of life people from like just even talking to the homeless people on the size of street when I was looking for some pills or something or even getting clean eating you know shamaners or I Oaskeros or like other people like, you know, administrating these people, these medicines or like, you know, in Florida, they have the South Florida Psychedelic Society

that like I pop in every now and again there and my life coach, he's a big part of it. And it's like all these different avenues and things that people I met and it all helped shape me for me, like who I am today. So it's like, man, like, because some people are like, man, you wish you could like, you know, you wish you never had, like, of course, there's things I wish happened differently, you know, maybe I wish I would have got cleaner a little bit sooner. But, um, all in all, like, life ended up working out for the best. Like, I feel like it just, it gave me such a different, like, gave me such a different frame of reference of a different lens of looking at the world. And, uh,

Yeah, man, I just, I think that's one of the biggest things that I've gotten from it is like it really just, yeah, it's made me who I am, but it's just, it's put such a different lens on looking at the world for me. And it's like, it's pretty cool. Now that like, you know, I'm on the other side of it, it's cool. Like in the moment, God, dude, it sucks. It sucks. But then, you know, you look back and like there's so many times where I look back and just start laughing. Like, holy shit, my life was just in so much, like, disarray that, like, I don't know how I was getting through like a normal day. And, yeah, it's just, it's crazy to think back on. Do you think talking about your past has prevented you from opportunities coming out of Love Island?

honestly I I would like to say no but at the same time one I know I'm not a PR dream okay like I know that I think that's something

that um does me a lot of good and also a lot of bad as far as brands and stuff like that like I'm very authentic authentically me. It's like people like that. Someone who's authentically yourself, but brands don't like someone that can't really be told like, hey, act this way or act that way or do

this, do that. And so, and then also, yes, a little bit of a checkered past maybe. But I don't know, man, it'd be a real bummer. It would be a real bummer if like it is because I definitely do know I've definitely not gotten as many brand opportunities as other people. And yeah, so it's a bummer to think, to think like that. I always try and just be like, you know what? You know, my time, like, my time is now, but like, you know, my time will come, hopefully for like the cool brand stuff and stuff like that, like those type of opportunities. And I've done like, I think like two brand things. But I've gone to a lot of events

and stuff like that. I think by talking about it, it'll bring the right people to you. Like, it took me years to get my first brand sponsorships in the podcast. And now I have people that align with me, brands that align with me. Because all my dirty laundry is out there, you know. Yeah. Like a year from now, no one could say, oh, Austin Shepard's a drug addict who went to jail. Right. And then that be a hit on you. Yeah. You know. 100%, you use it as a, as your,

your best asset at that point. Yeah, no, 100% because it is, man, and it's like, if people are going to judge everyone off their past,

like, motherfucker, I'm sure there's some shit that you've done that you're just not talking about, you know what I mean? Because everyone's got some dirty laundry. It's just,

like you just said, and it's up to you if you want to air it or not. And eventually it will come out. I do believe it does come out. Everybody's, laundry eventually does get aired out.

And, like, sooner or later, it will happen. And, uh, but yeah, that's why I'm, I'm just, I'm so open with, like, everything just because yeah, man, there's nothing I'm really, there's nothing that's like, you know, a big secret that I have. And I'm like, you know, trying to keep from anyone. And it's, yeah, I like being an open book at the end of the day, because I like talking about stuff. Like, it's cool. It's so cool. And people come up to me in public and, you know, they're like, man, I've only done that, the one podcast where I talked about my thing, they're like, man, I seen that podcast where you talked about your addiction, man, that shit's awesome, dude. And it's like, man, like, see, hearing that shit's awesome.

Like, oh, seen you on Love Island. That's awesome. Cool. Or that's cool. But then, like, man, oh, like, oh, a senior podcast. So it's like, oh, man, so you actually, like, went out of your way to, like, watch what I'm doing outside of, you know, this show. And so, um, um, and you like follow me for me. The one thing I'm so glad, like, I left the show in a couple, but not really, like, in a strong couple. The following that I have built

is not based on me and someone else. Me and so and so, me and so and so. The following I have built is all me. Like, the people that are following me are following me for me. They're not following me because me and, so yeah whatever her name is whoever you know what i'm saying and so um it's cool when i think about it like that because then it's like man like for being the solo act like that's that's fucking pretty good like for basically not having a real couple on the whole entire show like i didn't have

really a real couple up until like the end with jaden for having like yeah like i was just on there for so long for not having a real couple up and like for having the having the following that I have it's like so cool because it's like I don't know it's just nothing I've ever thought of before like it's just it's so weird because like in my head it's like dude I am such a normal guy like I'm just like you know the normal dude that you grew up with you know what I mean so it's just nuts that um all this has happened um but yeah I think uh I'm definitely a PR a PR nightmare that's that's definitely me but it's okay man because also like I've turned down like two brands that I did not want to work with because like man like also if I

am working with someone I want to like like what I'm working with you know what I mean you want to like legitimately like be like I actually support this and so that is one thing with me like I'm not I won't get behind something I don't actually align myself with or, yeah, believe in. What's a piece of advice you would tell your childhood self if you were sitting across from him today? Well, when I was a kid, man, I was a really angry kid. Honestly, probably, I don't know, man, maybe the best thing would be like maybe like shut your learn. learn when to shut your mouth a little bit better. But like, I don't know because everything's gotten me to where I am today.

But it probably just, you know, don't put too much stock into what others think of you and what others say. I used to care so much when I was younger of what other people thought of me and what other people. And then, like, one day I don't know where it went. I just stopped giving a fuck what people think about, man. Like, life became so much better. And, yeah, I'd see that's honestly the biggest thing. Just because I cared so much when I was a kid about what everything looked like, yeah, just what everything looked like, like what the optics were of, like, you know,

popularity, this, that. And, like, I was such a loser when I was, because I wanted to be cool so bad that I was so lame because I was trying so hard to be cool. and um yeah yeah i'd just say don't give a fuck what people's thinking as much you know i'd say that's probably that austin i appreciate you coming on the show today man dude thank you for having me yeah this is a blast it's good to it's cool to see someone that you know like does interviews about one thing and then be able to have them on and give an entirely different perspective yeah yeah no 100% i i

Like I was telling you earlier, man, I enjoy, I enjoy these because it shows a different side of things. And it's not all about, you know. Love Island. Yeah. And it's great that it's not because, like, you know, there's other aspects to, you know, people. Then there's other stuff to talk about. Yeah. I mean, we sat here for almost two hours not talking about Love Island.

Yeah, I know. It was great. It was really great. It was super fun. Now we get to go have a badass dinner. And get you some good pizza. I can't want fucking wait. I'm seriously so excited.

Hopefully it's Instagram worthy for you. It will be. I have a feeling since you're saying, since you're talking it up, so I'm feeling like it's, it's going to be damn good. Definitely. I'm not really disappointed.