Locked In with Ian Bick - Brandon Novak On Surviving Jail, Skateboarding with Tony Hawk & His Relationship w/ Bam Margera

Episode Date: November 30, 2023

Brandon Novak is on the show to share his story of skateboarding with Tony Hawk, battles with his own demons, surviving jail and how was able to build a new life for himself. Follow Ian Bick on Instagram: @ian_bick & Snapchat: ianbick Connect with Brandon Novak: https://brandonnovak.com Buy Merch: https://lockedinbrand.com Use code lockedin at checkout to get 20% off your order Connect with Ian Bick: https://www.ianbick.com Timestamps: 00:00:00 - Intro 00:02:32 - Surrounding myself with the right people 00:05:01 - Connecting Stories and Creating a Beautiful Sweater 00:07:31 - The Complex Background of a Skateboarder 00:10:15 - The Influence of Parents 00:12:52 - Deflection 00:15:30 - The Influence of Skateboarding and Substance Abuse 00:18:01 - Childhood Skateboarding Memories 00:20:36 - The Influence of Skateboarding and the Misuse of Talent 00:23:10 - The Struggle with Fulfillment 00:25:49 - Skateboarding and Divine Intervention 00:28:32 - Defiance and Reaching Out to Help Others 00:31:23 - Journey to recovery 00:33:45 - From Skateboarding to Jackass 00:36:23 - Skater Fashion Cycles 00:39:09 - The Evolution and Impact of Stunts and Antics 00:41:44 - From Defects to Assets 00:44:30 - Laying it all on the table 00:47:20 - The Impact of my life choices 00:50:11 - Celebrity Status and Controversy in Jail 00:52:52 - Medical Issues from Using 00:55:28 - Finding Fulfillment in the Simple Things 00:58:03 - The Moment of Change 01:00:50 - Accountability and Recovery 01:03:19 - The Difficulty of Helping Someone who doesn't want to be helped 01:06:11 - Helping Other 01:08:48 - The Importance of Accountability 01:11:21 - Overcoming Stigma and Redefining the Future 01:13:59 - Creating an Environment for Recovery 01:16:47 - Finding Understanding Powered by Creative Evolution Studios https://creativeevolutionstudios.com Produced by: https://www.instagram.com/shanedanahy https://www.shanedanahy.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

On today's episode, we have Brandon Novak from the hit film series Jackass to share his story of skateboarding with Tony Hawk, addiction, working with Bam on Jackass, Run-ins with the Law, overcoming addiction, and what he's learned about his life. Sit back, relax, and get ready to lock in with Brandon Novak. Brandon, welcome to Lockton, man. Thank you so much for coming. Thank you for Patrick introducing us and having you on the show today. Yeah, I'm excited.

I'm stoked to be here. And it's been fairly easy to get here. You know, we're in Danbury, Connecticut. I'm in Philadelphia, and it was a 39-minute flight. Oh, that's all it was? Yeah, it wasn't bad at all. Oh, I thought it was a little longer. That's good.

No, no, no. But Patrick called a bit ago, and he asked if I'd, you know, be a part of this. And Patrick's very near and dear to my heart. He stepped up when I did not know him at all. He was a stranger, but a dear friend of mine, Darren Prince, is very good friends with him. And I threw this charity event to raise funding to provide scholarships for men after they complete inpatient treatment center. And Patrick came out and he did this live mural of the lead singer, Jim, who plays for the band Pennywise, who came and performed. And we auctioned off this piece of art to someone that was at the event.

and it provided a decent amount of money that went towards scholarship. So anything Patrick asked, like, you know, and he didn't even know me at the time. Yeah, he texted me. He's like, you know Brandon Novak? And I was like, that name sounds familiar. And then I looked it up. And I was like, oh, he was in Jackass and this and that. And me and my friends all grew up watching Jackass and everything in the news.

I apologize for that. No, it's okay. And then with Bam and everything in the news and whatnot. So, you know, I'm very grateful that you're here and you take the time. I just got to know Darren too. He's helping us out with the podcast and with Patrick and whatnot. Yeah, those guys seem to have a lot of connections in a lot of places. Yeah.

They're good friends to have, I'd say. Definitely. That's what I'm learning. And they're both like really stand-up guys. Like I, they're one of the people that like if I need something, like I could rest assured knowing that they will do whatever they can to help me in a time of need. And those are the kind of people that I genuinely do my best to surround myself with. Absolutely.

I listened to your podcast with Johnny Mitchell that we were just talking about. Yeah, he's my guy. I listened to your podcast with Stivo, and I don't want to bore you with, you know, the same story repetitively over and over. So we'll try to navigate it a little bit differently than the other two. Well, it's funny. I didn't. I'm the most computer illiterate person you ever meet. I got my first ever laptop during the beginning of COVID, and I'm a 44-year-old man.

It was not by my design. My team insisted that I get it to do interviews. and I've used it maybe seven times and I've given it away. I don't email. I'll text, but I prefer to talk because I'm a big instant gratification kind of guy and if I have to write out a long thing,

I'll pen and paper it and take a picture and then text that to you. So I say all that to say, you're probably like, why the fuck's he telling me this? I say that to say that I don't really listen to a lot of podcasts. I'm really like just not inclined in that way to do that.

but I had done that guy, Burt Chrysler's podcast. And what I didn't know was a reality that I've learned now and the list of things you said you kind of checked out that I've done podcast-wise is that once you hit this certain stature within the podcast world, there's agents that will act as my agent to book me on particular podcasts. and I have an agent after the Burt Chrysler podcast who now books me on podcast

which is why you're hearing all, like the Johnny, I didn't know him prior to doing that. And it's a really rad thing because I'm doing like PR for a new adventure that I'm on business-wise. And, you know, as times evolved, people don't do like the news anymore. They do like fucking podcasts.

So I'm just like podcast, podcast, podcast. Yeah, and you don't know me either. This is our first time ever meeting. But that's a cool thing about the internet and social media. And your story fits perfectly with what our podcast is about people that have been in prison or have overcome addiction. And they come and they share the craziness that comes with that. And at the end of it, we always go through what they learn from it and how they can help others and the good that they're doing now. And your story just illuminates with that so well.

No, that aligns with the mission or cause that you're on. And it's funny, I don't, I didn't know you. I'm getting to know you now. But I make it a point to, like, Steve-O's podcast, that's my guy. I know Steve-O's my friend. We've known each of a long time. But the majority of the people that I, you know, end up connecting with, I don't know and I don't do any information or study up on because I, like,

I just did this really big guys in Maui. We went to Maui to do this podcast, and this guy's like a realist, Brandon Turner, like a real estate, the mogul and a big deal in that world. I knew nothing about the man. My agent booked me on the show and we went out there and right before we're going to it. So I said to my agent, I said, I'm like, so this guy's like a real estate guy. And he's like, I didn't say anything to you then. We're talking after I had done the show. He's like, but I almost had a heart attack when you told me you didn't know who this guy was.

because some people will take that as a form of disrespect to not get to know or understand the person but quite the contrary I don't I walk into it blind or ignorant if you will because I don't I want complete transparency I want authenticity I don't want to have a chance to kind of pre-rehearse an answer to a script that I've already looked at

you know what I mean so I really like to just organically let this thing go wherever I believe God sees fit to take it Absolutely. And then you can get like an understanding of whether you even like that person. Totally. Or you don't like it and you're not just like being forced into something that you may or may not like. For sure. Does it ever get tiring telling like the same story on multiple platforms like that? Well, the rad thing now is that it's kind of like I ended up on this real estate mogul's podcast,

who's this really big deal in Hawaii. And he's just a, you know, he's a philanthropic. He really wants to do good for humanity. And he's into religion and his spirituality. And there was still a way for our stories to intertwine and connect to make this really beautiful sweater, if you will. You know what I mean? Because it's like in a sweater there's a million pieces of yarn

that are interwoven in order to create this beautiful work of art. And that's kind of how it's been working. That's awesome. So from the start of your story, where are you from? Where were you born? What's like childhood like for you? I was born and raised in Baltimore, city, and, you know, I come from a pretty interesting demographic of family members, if you will. My mother was essentially a single mother, you know.

I had a father who was around just enough to let me know he wasn't around. He was the kind of guy that taught me like one thing in life, and that was if and one I went to prison, how to conduct myself. And then I had this brother who became an attorney who works in the White House practicing pensions and benefits. Oh, really? So I had this, my mother who's like insanely smart. She's a nuclear physicist on the board of Mercy Hospital.

My brother, who's this like hot shot attorney. And then my father, who rode with the hell's angels and died of a drug addiction. And then you have me who, you know, at a very young age, I was blessed with the ability to come across a skateboard. And when that, the moment that that took place, like, and that board touched my hand, I knew I was going to be a professional skateboarder, right?

At that very young age, there was no reason for a plan B, a trait, or an option. I ate it, I breathed it, I slept it, I dreamt it. You know, at 14, I became the first skateboarder endorsed by Gatorade. They're flying me to Chicago to the Quaker Roads Building where they made Gatorade at the time. I'm doing like this commercial with Michael Jordan.

15, I'm designing my prototype for Pal Peralta, which would ultimately, if I stayed on that course, become my pro model. You know, I'm touring the world with Tony Hawk. I had, like, done some things at a very young age that some might equate to success and happiness and maybe even dream of doing. And I live with that after-school special,

that cautionary tale, my father, right? Of, like, because everyone loved Jerome. Jerome was a great guy. But when Jerome didn't come home to make dinner at six and we heard him and his biker buddies pool in the driveway at three, and the key hit the lock, we shook like leaves because we knew

what we were in for, and it was nothing good. So I could understand the psychic change that takes place upon an individual if they choose to ingest a drink or a drug. Like I, the Dr. Jacko, Mr. Hyde, Snare. I recognize that really young. So I kind of made it a point to excel at everything

that I was ever going to do in my life to prove to everyone that I would never become him. You know, but I believe my story is kind of like, I was genetically predisposed. My father was an addict. His father was an addict. Ultimately, I followed suit later on down the road. Do you think at a young age that you knew you would become an addict before you even tried a drug?

No. No, no, I did not. Not at a young age. But what I've learned throughout my life is everything is in retrospect. And today, life is like live forward and learn backwards. And what I see clear as day now is that at that young age, I was kind of being groomed to become him. You know, he would take me to the strip joints

and when he would go in the back to conduct business, I'd be sat at the bar stool and the pretty dancing girls were poor shots of like ginger ale and Coca-Cola into these little shock glasses. I would do the shot. My father would like give me that look of approval. You know, I'd ride around with him

while he did his drops. And, you know, so I, you're like a special. at that age. You just kind of absorb what's happening, unbeknownst to you at the time. That paired with the fact that I was genetically just fucked. It was inevitable that it was coming down the pipe. Yeah. Who are you closer to your mother or your father? My mother. Your mother. I'm like a crazy mama's boy. Really? She's like everything to me. Why do you think she stayed with him at that age? I believe, you know, loves a fucking strange thing and it makes you do strange things. my father was an amazing guy.

Everyone loved Rome, except for his family. You know what I mean? Like he was the life of the party. He walked in the bar. He bought the whole bar rounds and shots and the drugs were flowing. You know, he was a womanizer. He had the gift of gab. And ultimately, all those things that my mother kind of fell for,

I became later on in a weird way. Like I legit came him almost on steroids. So I can see how that would take place. Do you think that the relationship your parents had together kind of correlates with where we see, like, a woman that, like, someone that mistreats her now in today's day and age, or isn't exactly, like, the perfect match for them, but has so much love for them? Well, I can't speak upon that, but I can say that I've seen me repeat my father's actions later on down the road. And I never had a problem, you know, linking up with a really good. good woman. Because I had the wear

with all to understand that, like, I couldn't deal with me. Two of me would go to hell in a handbasket. So I would get, like, a really put together woman with a great head on her shoulders that did not have a problem with addiction or alcoholism. And really,

I believed that I loved them at the time, but looking back, it was just kind of a survival mechanism. Because I could get money. I couldn't keep money. I could get a house. I could never turn it into a home. So, like, they could kind of keep things afloat. And, and most importantly, what it always did for me is it allowed me to deflect me from me

and allow me to avoid having to look at the person I always tried to avoid, which was me, by getting high. Because when I get high, I escape the reality that I created for myself. You know, so it's just always deflection and, you know, justification, minimization, and, you know, just the last thing I ever want to do is be accountable for my actions. Yeah. Now, a pro skater at that age,

is that equivalent to, like, one of these Instagram social media influencers now in this day and age? Is there that much power to it and reach? Well, no, there's nothing is like it is now with the power and reach. But at that age, so I had the ability if I stayed on that path to become a pro,

but at that time, they were allowing me to like design my prototype shapes basically like if you continue with this here's a promissory note or something that you could obtain in the future which is your own pro model um which is funny the way things evolve today in skateboarding boards really don't even mean much like what boards you ride or if you're pro or not pro that still means something for the heart

But the money in the skateboarding is through the endorsements, like the Red Bulls, the Monsters, the Adidas, the Nikes, the shoot, you know, all those kind of endorsements and sponsorships. What boards you ride and who you're sponsored by boardwise doesn't even matter. No. They don't even really pay. How would your friends, if we had them here today, best describe you as a teenager? During my skateboarding, like when I was in the thick of skating.

Yeah. I literally just had a one-track mine, like, and it was skateboarding. I legit, you know, I always talk about that skateboarding did for me at a young age, what drugs and alcohol did for me at a later age, right? Like, you give me that skateboard at the age of seven. You put me in a room with the world's prettiest models. I'll not only believe that they've been waiting for me, but that they're dying to marry me, right? Like, drugs and alcohol later on down the road would produce that same delusional narrative

that I bought into. So I just, nothing mattered to me. You know, like in school, school didn't matter because I was thinking about being out of school skating with the homies. And that's, I think, why my life was able to kind of take, take its own course. Because I think the majority of reality,

when growing up, generally looks like you graduate, you get a job, you report to said job, five days a week from nine to five. You have a boss that oversees all your performances or lack thereof. In the skateboarding, well, skateboarding A raised me, right? Because my father was like hell on wheels. Legit.

And my mother got a job at Mercy Hospital at 15, drawing blood for $5 a pop, a phlebotomist, if you will, at that time. And then worked her way up the ladder to become that nuclear physicist, a very successful woman at the end of her, career. But she was so hyper fixated on like being able to provide for the family and keep us away from my insane father that she consumed herself with work. And ultimately my brother and sister, who were by a different father, were tasked with raising me a lot of the times. And they were like teenagers and they didn't want to fucking deal with me all the time. So then they allowed me to like

skate and I would skate all day, all night with like older skaters because it was pretty good. So they would take me under their wing. So there was nothing to be accountable to. I ran with older guys and traveled all the time. And my boss, who I checked him with, was the guy by the name of Todd Hastings, who was in Santa Barbara, California. And I would go to the 7-Eleven and pump in like $4 worth of quarters to call him and be like, oh, I just filmed this and let's use this for my part.

You know what I mean? So I kind of just like was going in a really positive, direction but then when that flipped i was too far out for anyone to be like whoa what's going on with him were your parents supportive of your skateboard career yeah totally my mother all about it brother and sister they were but they were again teenagers at that time doing their own deal but they always would help out any way possible and my father who i speak very you know barely harsh of is really now seeing that he was just a sick man that did the best that he could with what he had because I've made amends with him a long time ago, although he's passed a long time ago.

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He even was supportive in his own way. I remember being in the basement after getting out for a skateboard and he would not let me skate until I got a helmet. I was like a kid. I was seven. And I didn't have a helmet and for some reason I couldn't get a helmet. So he took one of those

floaty pads that you used in the pool and he jammed it on my head and then allowed me to skate with one of those things. I used to be one of those like wannabe skaters that had like the Tony Hawk helmet and the cool skateboard but I couldn't skate for shit so I'd walk around with the skateboard in middle school. Yeah.

It's like 2009. Street cred. Fuck. 2009. I was like, I was like a full blown heroin addict at that point. Yeah, I was in middle school.

I'm 28 now. Yeah. Crazy times and playing Tony Hawk on the weekends too on the PlayStation. Yeah. It's cool to like see you are living that like real life. Yeah. Yeah. It was,

I always say that skateboarding was was the gift that was, was the gift that was truly given to me by virtue of my higher power, right? You could be the best ping pong player in the world, but God might not see fit to put a paddle on your hand. Skateboarding is literally my guy given talent that I never even knew I was looking for. The way I got that skateboard was that we used to, I'm from Baltimore, Maryland, and we used to spend vacation during the summer at Ocean City, Maryland. And there's a skate park on 3rd Street in Ocean City.

my sister would always live down the beach during the summer. And one day, I would stay with her for weeks at a time. And I don't even remember it, but I know that we stopped by the skate park. And she's probably like 17, 18 at this point. And there was like a pro skater there who was talking to my sister and gave me his skateboard. I never was like, let's go to the skate park. I want to see a skater. I want to try a skateboard.

I had no, like, desire or thought of it. And looking back, the guy was probably just trying to fuck my sister anyway. So he's like, here is this, you know what I mean? But that literally, that simple, kind, act of generosity, like, was forever going to shape and mold my future. And it raised me. And it kind of transcended into what I do today and how I live my life. And skateboarding, you know, the two things that it instilled in me is that, um, failure. Failure is not an option, because if you notice skateboarders, they will try one trick for days, weeks, months, years.

And then they get it and then just move on. So, like, failure is not an option and no is unacceptable. And that came in skateboarding from skateboarding to me. Now, you recognize it now that it was a God-given talent. Did you recognize it back then? And do you think you kind of took it for granted and misused that power? I totally took it for granted and misused it. And I had no idea that that's what it actually happened.

And funny enough, I'm 44. I just filmed this whole video part and put it out with my pro model, the one that like I never got to complete because I was, went from pursuing skateboarding to full-blown like heroin addiction. I thought that that was like an excellent career choice. And so my dream of becoming that pro never took place. But it recently did. And I went and filmed this part.

and I went to like Barcelona and all over L.A. And probably it was the best part I'd ever put out. And while filming that part, I realized that it was my God-given gift. And you would have thought that I would have realized it at a way different time in my life. But how I realized it is today I'm like insanely busy and so consumed with a million projects

and time is just not something I had the luxury of having. and um and um and i'm i'm filming this trick i'm filming this trick and i can't make it i can't make it i can't make it and and i i like hurt my ankle on this day i'm like so frustrated i i throw my skateboard i break it and i'm just furious with the outcome and at that moment it dawns on me and i'm at like the peak of my anger at this point and it dawns on me that this is exactly why i love it because at this very moment despite me not getting the outcome that I was desiring it's doing what I've tried so hard to do for so many years through so many different outlets which was shut this fucking thing down because my brain never stops it always tells me that I should be doing more I should be doing

less I should be here I should be there I should make this I should create this I should fire them I should hire them did I've spent countless fucking dollars and traveled to countless countries and hung out with countless people and money, property, prestige, pussy, everything to try to like, you know, fill this internal void and to shut this off and have that brief moment

of like peace and freedom. And I realized it far after my skateboarding career has ended because I do it for the love of it now. But like that was probably like a year ago. Did any of those skills go away after like years of addiction? Or is it just natural when you get back on?

It's kind of like, It's not natural, but it's like muscle memory. You know what I mean? Like my brain says that I'm 16 or 17. My body says that I'm like 99. Right? So I get on a skateboard. My brain's like, oh, fuck this.

You can go for it. Kill it. After two hours in like a small little slam that like an 18 year old would like laugh at and not even realize happened. I needed a walker and go to a sauna for like five days straight. And I, you know, go. Going into it, I just properly prepared myself accordingly. So I work out five days a week.

I'm really into, like, health and wellness. I make a, I make a, I just try to do better with what I eat and cut out as much processed food as possible. I don't go crazy with it. But I also have a trainer. So when we were in the gym working out, I was like practicing on my balance and things like that. So that's where I had to kind of brush up on those skills.

Now, if you had to pinpoint one exact moment that caused you to go down a path of addiction and try drugs, what do you think that moment was? There was no one exact moment. It was a series of events that kind of just ultimately took place for me to become so disconnected from reality that I thought that like, A, I knew what was happening. I knew what I was doing and I could control and or get myself out of any situation that I create it for myself. So again, a chain of events landed me in this particular place.

That once the drinking and the drugging took place full time, I was so disconnected from reality. I didn't know that I was going to drift to see for the better part of 22 years. I think a lot of people are curious about how someone that on the out outside has so much like skater and, you know, becoming an actor and whatnot and how someone could fall off that wagon.

For me, it was just like, right, I had the mother, I had the brother and the sister, and they were really consumed with just kind of making their way through life. At a young age, I was a pretty good skater, and people believed that there was like a method to my madness. And I wasn't the kid that had to be in when the street lights were on. skateboarding raised me, my friends that skateboarded raised me. And my dear friend, Bucky Lasek, who, you know, rode for pal-proth at the time, took me under his wing and we'd go out to California, like, all the time and stay at Hawkshouse.

And so it wasn't like, you know, people were on top me day-to-day, mom, dad, brother, sister, to notice when my behaviors were off or my eye. eyes were red or skating was taking a backseat to something else. People just thought that I was pretty good successful with a really good head on my shoulders to make it to where I have at such a young age that clearly I had to know what was going on. Do you wish you had that oversight on you? No.

Looking back, I do a lot of interviews and a commonly asked question is, you know, would I take back or redo anything that I had done to get to where. I'm at today. I used to say the two things that I would take back are the pain and the sleepless nights that I'd cause my loved ones. But after I've thought a little bit more about that, I don't think I'd take that back either. I'm a sober guy now and I've literally devoted my life to helping people who are where I once was.

and the reason that I ended up to where I'm at today is because I was divinely inconvenienced over and over and over. But at the time when that inconvenience was taken place, I was so consumed by the mess that I could not see the message. I was incapable of seeing the blessing that was happening. And if anybody, if anybody,

if anybody would have robbed me of my process, one less night of sleeping outside, one less day of prostituting my body, one less trash can being eaten out of, you know, all those deplorable things that I had done to keep my addiction afloat. If anyone want to rob me of any of that, I don't believe that I'd be where I'm at today

or the child of God that I am and with the understanding. You know, because with addiction and alcoholism, the wheelhouse, the demographic that I, I work with on a daily basis, meaning other addicts and alcoholics, are us kind of people are defiant by nature. We hate authority and we refuse to conform because we possess this job that consists of knowing everything.

So then some nice soul comes by and suggests what we could do to save our life and we suggest why you should fuck off because we know. For me, what my story looks like is I will never tell anybody what they should do. I don't have the answer to anything. All I have is my experience and my history that's landed me in this present moment. And if you can find more similarities than differences, it might make sense to maybe listen.

But if not, I get that too. Right? So I just kind of share my story from a position of understanding as opposed to being understood. And I try to deliver it in a way that other addicts and alcoholics who are also defiant hate authority, refuse to conform, find it or make it land

in a way that they see is so attractive so desirable and like so appealing that they like want to fuck it right? Because if I can get them to want what I have so bad that they're willing to do anything it takes in order to achieve this outcome

then the terms of your contract will forever change but it has to become our idea right? So I just live my life through virtue of attractive rather than promotion. And if you see anything, you know, appealing enough, then here's the information, reach out.

And, like, I'll do whatever it takes to get anyone that help that fuck what they need, but really what they deserve. And all of this and the knowledge that I possess and the information that I've acquired came from pain. It came from pain, man. I don't unmanageability to me is like a fucking Monday morning cup of tea

like the shit has to be unfucking bearable unbearable my back has to be against the wall and I have to have no other options choices and then you have my attention and that's what this is that's how this outcome was created by virtue of pain because the right amount of pain created just enough willingness for me to reach out say, you know what I do know? I don't fucking know.

Ultimately, I just dumb my way into this position. You know what I mean? It's really fucking freeing. Well, you know, that's the power of lived experience and why, like, the peer recovery specialist in, like, Arkansas, I got to go to Arkansas and see, like, the programs that they're installing. Yeah. And those are so powerful because you're sticking a peer with someone

and they have the lived experience, whereas, like, someone that went to college or whatever to focus on recovery and addiction could never give you what you could give someone. Legit. Legit. It's all deliverance. It's smoking mirrors, really.

Right? We all, me and my world, and I'd like to think humanity as a whole, we all want the same outcome, which is just this euphoric world filled with peace where everyone's happy. And I'd like to believe that we're all doing the best that we can to achieve those results.

But if anyone looks at it, me as an individual who has the answer, they're fucking twisted. You know, like, my resume states 13 inpatient treatment centers, lost count of outpatients and detoxes. My mother bought me a plot. People take life insurance policies out on me. Life support for seven days. Medevac, four hospitals, four states, four overdoses.

Mother sold three homes to pay for two treatment centers. At the end of my addiction, I'm a 38-year-old homeless heroin addict who stands on the corner and lets men blow me for more heroin, right? Like, my mother's praying to God for my dad. death because she can't take it anymore. That's what my resume states at 38. I'm now 44. Do the math, right?

Like, why in this short period of time that I've been blessed with sobriety would anyone think that I have the answer? All I realized is that for the better part of 22 years, looking back, right, retrospect, live forward, learn backwards in my life. I looked back and said, all I did was, like, rearrange the furniture on the Titanic. And so I just did process of elimination, but backwards, the last thing I changed. try was the first thing that worked. Yeah, that was a great analogy.

It's fucking true, man. But I couldn't see it. I could never see that because I was too smart for my own fucking good. Yeah. Right? So actually, these things that I acquired throughout my journey of life, depending on one's perspective, could say we're hurting me more than helping me.

But then you get to a point to where I'm at now, and it's like, my poison has become my medicine. So it's all perspective. Did you go to college? No. But today I'm paid to. speaking universities. I got my GED in the penitentiary.

Isn't that wild? So it's like, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, and it's, and this is just my take on it. It's, it's only done by way of, of, of my relationship with my creator. Yeah. You know? What age did you start getting into the whole jackass filming? Fuck. Was that before you would have went to college or after around like the same time period?

If you were to go to college. What, college is what? Yeah, 18, 18 to 22? No, after. It was after. So, probably 24. So 3, 4, 5-ish. How do you go from skateboarder to that?

Well, skateboard. So one of my best friends, that guy, Bam, he, him and I were, like, best friends as a child. And every year we'd practice for this contest, the Bricktown NSAs in New Jersey. And either he would win or I'd win. Every year without fow.

best friends but like arch enemies in this contest world and one year he showed up to the contest I didn't he asked my mentor of bucky Lysick where I was and bucky's like I think he's on heroin and bam so young was like what what the fuck is that he didn't even know what the what that was fast forward to years later he continued he chose to pursue his career and bettering his life skateboarding created the first CKY video became a millionaire household name. I chose to pursue heroin and became this homeless heroin addicts living on the streets of Baltimore.

He stopped into a skate shop in Baltimore to do a demo one day. I stopped in a few days later to try to borrow some money from the skate shop to get some more heroin. They're like, we're not going to give you any money, but your boy, Ben was in here. And he said, if you ever want to get clean, here's his number. I called the number a few days later in the blink of an eye. I'm like on a Greyhound bus from Baltimore going to Pennsylvania to live with him. And at the time, he had the TV show Viva Labam.

And he said, look, if you want to get off heroin, you can live with me. You could be on the show. You could get paid from, you know, Paramount. And I had done all that. And then that kind of gave birth and segued into Jackass. And all the people within both of those, not all of them, but a lot of the, the guys the common bond was skateboarding or that world of skating. Like you,

you had all the skate ship, but you weren't like a fucking skater guy, right? But you still kind of were hanging around the crew? Yeah. Same within the world of ours. Do you think that came from Jackass and those early on TV shows? Like that, because I'm years younger,

so I would have, we would have gotten it from somewhere. Do I think what came from what? Like that, that era of wanting to be the cool skateboarder person, walking around and, you know, that look of being a skateboarder? Um,

I think it just came from, um, everything kind of comes and goes in cycles. Yeah. Everything. Like everything. Even, I live above this very bougie,

fancy furniture place. And they have one in like Moscow, in Paris, in Italy, in New York, and in Philly. And the furniture is right now is just, what I see in the window is like not my deal.

But it's like this, this, it almost looks like Grateful Dead kind of error. It's this tie-dye, like, patched work stuff that's like crazy amounts of money that right now is apparently coming back. It's just like everything goes in cycles. Skaters today are wearing like bigger clothes

with like the Jenko logos on their back pockets, which you could probably remember. I don't know. If I saw it, I'm a visual person. Yeah, totally. But, like, you know, it went through, like, the punk stage of the tight clothes and Sid Vicious and Anarchy to now, like, bigger, baggier jeans. I mean, when I was 14, I was skating in, like, size 38 jeans and 3x white t-shirts.

And that's kind of, like, the roundabout way that it's going. So I don't know if it's the very long answer to your short question is, like, I don't know if it's jackass infused. Viva-Labham fused. I do know that when BAM had Viva-L-Labam on MTV, he was out selling Tony Hawk's skateboards because he was like a household name through MTV, which I'm sure made skateboarding look appealing to people who otherwise wouldn't have found skateboarding.

Would you have considered yourself a household name at that time because of the show? Fuck, I'd like to think so. All right? No, no, no, no, no. I was gaining some recognition and I was able to make a living. But ultimately, my role on that show

was a junkie's dream, right? Because A, I was the guy that would do any stunt because if you'd like look at where I came from and what I was doing prior to the opportunity I was being given, it was like no questions asked. Would I prefer to like let a man blow me for 40 bucks to get heroin? Or do I want to jump down these stairs naked?

I think I'll jump down. You know what I mean? Because if I do that and the stunts good enough, meaning bad enough, I get broke off, I'll probably go to the hospital, which means I'll get some free pain pills. I'll get paid. I'll get screen time, become the household name, right? So the junkies dream of that character that I played, as long as the behaviors were outlandish enough, the antics became outrageous enough.

the higher the ratings went, the more in demand I became, the more money I could ask for, which ultimately just went back to more drugs in my body. Even in that world, it evolved and cycled. Who came up with the idea for the stunts? Was that like you get to pick which ones you want to do? Or does someone say,

hey, we want you to do this and you're like, fuck it, let's go? It was a combination. If you came up with your own stunt and they bought into it, then you'd get paid more on top of it. Really? Yeah. And what was like your favorite one if you have?

one or favorite memory from that. People at anyone that got screen time. Like anyone. Because it all kind of just connected into a win for me. Yeah. Do you think that that correlated into some of the other TV shows we see? Like maybe even like what's his name, Rob Deirdrick's? Yeah, for sure.

It definitely gave way and birth to like YouTubers. Yeah. Right? Like you see those houses where they go live in and then they like film, them like fucking with everybody. Like that's literally what Viva Vam was. And before that, CKY. So now a lot of like the big YouTube guys,

Danny Duncan, you know that name? Yeah. He's a good friend of mine. He wrote the opening for my last book. Or like one of the forwards. He's the first to say it. He's like, you know, Bam kind of created this. He was like the godfather of that.

And then, you know, they took that and doing what they're doing now. Now, you had just brought up the, you know, getting a blow job for drugs, which you're very open about on a lot of these podcasts. What was that like? Like, why, how did that all come about? It didn't matter. It was never like anything. Like, you know, on Howard Stern's show, I, like, lick Richard Christie's hemorrhoid ass for a thousand bucks, I think.

On the show? Yeah. You know what I mean? I was never a guy who was censored or felt like, whoa, maybe this is, it's funny. Then any press was good press. But the man that I am today and the work that I do, I really had to kind of reevaluate my mindset on such things like that. Because that's not the case.

How do you feel about what you've done in the past now? Well, it can be perceived in two different ways. It could be me, you know, glorifying those. those war stories, depending upon who's listening to it and what mental state they're in at the time of listening to what I'm saying. But for me, it's shared by way of that's who I am. That's who I was, not who I am. And if I can change, there's no reason why you can't. You know, and that's why a lot of people buy into what I say when they're in a dark place.

because they know that my story holds weight. It's tangible. There's evidence. You can read about it. You can see it like on clips. You can, it exists. So at the end of the day, a lot of people are like, if that motherfucker can do it, there's no reason why I can't.

So now my defects, the things that were holding me down, the things that were literally killing me on a layaway plan, have today become my assets. And even what I didn't know that was happening then, creating this really big social media platform, right? I'm not a psychic. I could never predict the future.

I had no idea to see that social media was going to like run the world basically one day while doing Viva Labam and Jackass and CKY and Radio Bam and all these other things we had done. I started building this social media presence that I had no idea was ever, I didn't even know I was going to get sober, right? I had no idea how my story

was going to play out. I probably thought that I would die in the process of because I lived every day to consume as much heroin that I could physically shoot into my arm. But then I was blessed with sobriety. And then this new way of life and then literally tripped into this position of helping people for a living

and literally giving my life to this. But being able to use that platform that was built through a lot of like questionable times where people were like, maybe you shouldn't do all this, say all this, be so upfront about that, to now, you know, poison becoming medicine, to now saying, like,

this is who I was, not who I am. Who I am is clearly different than who I was. And if you're in a way that you need help getting out of the position that you have created for yourself, here's the information, here's the numbers. Reach out to me at my team. You know what I mean? So it's all

I think when you're that real and honest and vulnerable And you lay everything out on the table It separates you from the masses Who aren't 100% In on laying out all their dirty laundry And now no one can really take that away from you Like no one can call in and say Oh he did this you know 20 years ago

And it's like dude I already I shared that story It's freedom There's freedom that comes with it And no one owns that Absolutely on me Why didn't you stick with the Jackass series and have like a successful acting or maybe celebrity TV appearance show what happened with that um i don't believe that that's what i was meant to do maybe tomorrow will be

but like as of right now i i follow my calling and landed in this world of of helping and and truly what i believe my mission on this earth again today is because tomorrow anything could change is to just make humanity and society a little bit better of a place today than it was yesterday. Yeah. By design and virtue of my lived experience. You know,

humanity is one of the, the only living being that's arrogant enough to think that we understand what God's will is. It's so big, it's so broad, it's so, my feeble mind, could never conceive what it is.

I just, I'd like to think that I might have an idea of what it isn't. Do you ever think about those who were in your position that didn't make it, that didn't survive and why you did? Yeah, I do. And again, perception is everything, right? I travel all over the world.

I give talks, and always when I'm done, a mother or a father will approach me and they say, you know, how do we lift the stigma? How do we lift the stigma? The stigma, stigma, how do we lift the stigma? My response to theirs is, fortunately or unfortunately, depending upon one's perception, the stigma is lifting because the death toll is rising, right?

So, and I'm not trying to sound heartless or callous when I say this, but because of your son or your daughter's death is the exact reason why we're here tonight shining light on this really dark drab what most look like is an unwitting fucking battle so your your child did not die in vain as a matter of fact your child died to give me my life so my mother who has never met you or your child would like you to know how grateful she is that she did not have to bury me in that plot that she bought me so i try to let them know you know what i mean so it's like how do I want to look at it.

You know, for years, I was the victim. Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? The reality is why the fuck not me? So once I owned my part in the process that I played to create this outcome good or bad, then my life started to change. How did addiction translate into like crime, like criminal, like getting arrested? Because for some addicts, it doesn't necessarily translate into going to jail and doing a prison sentence and whatnot. Yeah, my alcoholism, my addiction took on a life of its own, right?

And again, speaking about my story only, I was the kind of alcoholic and addict that once I began using it, I lost the privilege to have a say-so in my life anymore about anything that I did. My life then became solely about getting and using and finding ways and means to get more. So who I went with, what I did, and when I did it all revolved around the fact of that drugs were going to be obtained along the way. And if you caught me on a day where I was sick enough from lack of heroin, meaning withdrawing, whatever I had to do to acquire another bag was going to happen. and it was never personal, it was just business.

Because I was always a good guy. My rap sheet states that I'm just a fucking nuisance to the law, right? I'm not a violent offender. I'm a felon for past, I'm a convicted felon passing fucking fake scripts. Like, just really annoying things to the courts. I was like a gnat that wouldn't go away. But I was never violent.

I was never, you know, an offender that hurt others. I was a sick man that was caught up and making bad decisions to continue my journey with addiction and whatever it took to get that next one was going to happen. I always say the only thing that never took place in my story was homicide.

And it's not that it was because I'm not cut from that cloth or I'm not. I cringe the thought of confrontation. I people please and that's all a direct result of my upbringing with my father dealing with a lot of traumatic shit as a child. So I literally start shaking when confrontation's going to happen. But if you would have caught me on a day

where I was withdrawing enough and the opportunity presented itself and it promised me heroin, I would have done it. And that's just because, well, there's a lot of reasons why. But it was never personal. It was always business.

What was it like to be noticed in jail for? People knew you at that time, I'm assuming, right? They would account it you as a celebrity in jail, right? It was good and it was bad. The sentence that I got where I did the most time, you know, it was because I was doing these weekends. And on these weekends, I'd fucking shove all these drugs up my ass and I'd sneak them into the joint.

And I would do that Friday through Sunday, but then I would go do this radio show Monday night and on serious satellite radio, which is uncensored radio. And I talk about this is, I just did my weekend. I'm now Monday night doing the show and talk about how I boofed all this drugs up my ass and how the white shirts, the white shirts, the sergeants were fucking lazier than my dead grandmother. I could do a better job. And they heard that.

And then they revoked my shit and gave me my full back time. And then while in there, they'd put me in the shoe, the special housing unit. And then they would put me in, um, in the hole, 23 and 1, and then they would move me from block to block to block, and they would shake every block down so that other inmates would get furious when I'd show up on the block

because they know that I'm going to bring heat with me. You know, so it was, but then it was good because they're like, oh, you're that guy from fucking Jacket. I have two guys fucking on my arm, a tattoo, missionary style, um, in a flower patch with roller blades, holding up a gay flag.

I have, uh, idiot tattooed on my ass with hearts on it. And all these, like, you know, what most would think, gay acts of things tattooed on me, these guys in the joint are like, we'd expect nothing less from you. So they don't give you a hard time or anything? No, they actually, like, they condone it.

They accept it, should I say? Yeah. It gives me that pass. So do you think a weekend jail pass would even help someone, especially in your situation? Well, at the time, I thought no. You might say no. Me looking back on it, absolutely.

Absolutely. Because remember I told you, a series of events took place by way of me being divinely inconvenienced over and over, repercussions from my actions that created just the right amount of pain for me to become willing

to kind of maybe think that I don't know what's going on and reach out and ask for some help for some people to do. Those were the series of events that were happening. You know, the sleepless nights, the weekends in jail, the fucking shoving drugs up my ass, the hemorrhoid surgery I had to have as a result of shoving drugs up my ass. Like, all of those things were paving way to a better, brighter life.

You know, I haven't heard the term boofing in a few years since I was in jail. Thank God. That shows that you two are of us. Yeah. So why do people do it that way instead of swallowing it? Isn't it a little bit more risky to just shove it up there when you're doing the squat and cough? For me, no. And I knew, right? Like if I put it in my mouth and swallowed it, I got to hope that it lands in my ass without like whatever I've concealed it in melting through all the bodily fluids. If it was there, I knew it was there. I've had experience with it doing it that way, so I knew the odds of me getting it back were pretty good.

I listened to Steveo's episode, and he said you've had so many medical issues with your ass, I guess, because of this? Yeah, yeah. The doctors that were doing my surgery, they believed that I was with my fiancé at the time, was now my ex, and they said, they pulled her out of the room

and they're like, he says that this incident happened through this one thing being shoved up his ass and you're his fiance and she's like, yes, I'm his fiance. One thing shoved up his ass. They're like, man, this is years and years worth of damage. Meaning that they think I'm gay and they don't understand

why she's my fiance. But then years later, I get sober. I had to have hemorrhoid surgery because my ass would just like start bleeding profusely these massive hemorrhoids. Just my body started to kind of heal but certain parts of it refused to heal because so much damage and when

I went to the hospital to have the surgery they like put me on this I basically looked like a you upside down and my ass was up and they're like oh shit you're that guy Novak from and I'm like yeah and then all of a sudden it kicks in

and I'm like knocked out and I don't know what the fuck they did I hope they didn't do anything unorthodox but you know it makes great content and the whole prison suitcase thing because people are fascinated with it you know it's true so people look at my life today and like fuck

your life's probably pretty boring today and I'm like no it's actually so fulfilling and so entertaining to me and like how can that be I'm in bed by like 8 o'clock I enjoy like changing my cat's litter box going to the grocery store really

fucking monotone elementary shit that most people are just so bored with And the reason why is because I was so disconnected from reality for so long that, like, I really take pride and pleasure in, like, looking at the tree. At Hyundai of Glendale, Lisa New, 2,26 Hyundai-Tuson-S-C front-wheel drive for 269 a month, plus tax for 36 months, with owner's assurance in America's best warranty, 10-year, 100,000 mile. Stop by Hyundai of Glendale today or Hyundaiof-Glindale.net.

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Do you appreciate it like your alone time? Yeah, too much so. Which is why I'm a fucking 44-year-old single man that was with three cats. No kids? No. Do you ever want kids still? I have no desire at the moment. I mean, that could change tomorrow too.

Absolutely. You know, I really believed I've been placed in this position where I've, truly given my life to helping people who who don't see a light at the end of that dark tunnel. And that's, that's consuming. That takes a lot of time. So, but I also, I don't know, that could also be me like just deflecting or justifying, not wanting to look at the real root of the cause here is, is that I don't do well in relationships.

I don't, you know, I'm selfish. I like to just get on a plane and go to skate in Spain if I want. or California. You know what I mean? But maybe, you know, you're just trying to regain everything that you lost all that time that you had over those years of addiction

that you want to find peace within yourself with that. The beautiful thing about my sobriety is that the longer I stay sober, the more I know that I have no fucking idea. Do any of us? Well, a lot of people believe they do, I think, which leads what I thought

that I had a really good idea of what was going on. I led a very tiring life. You know, but little did I know, the moment that I admitted complete defeat was the exact second I secured the ultimate victory. I was trying to skate. Yes, no, I wasn't trying.

I was skating Saturday. And I was trying this trick. And I was like filming it. And I was pushing really fast to get to it. And when I was going really fast to do this trick, I wasn't coming close. And all of a sudden, I decided to slow my speed down, skating up to it. And when I slowed it down, everything was in control. and I actually could like envision me landing and riding away.

It was more manageable and contained. As opposed, and that was life, right? I'm always like so fast to approach. Got it. If I just kind of slow down, take a breath, regroup, re-evaluate, reassess, I usually get a better outcome. What do you think was your rock bottom moment that inspired change within you?

Looking back on it now. Yeah, yeah. ironically my last bottom wasn't my lowest bottoms by any means i'd had much lower bottoms in the past but this one was my lowest by way of it came up to meet me right because looking back at all those attempts at trying to better my life through through incarcerations through psych units through 12-step meetings inpatient treatment centers outpatient that i thought were were failures quite the contrary. They were actually like wins,

despite whether I successfully completed or if I got loaded in there or they kicked me out because these seeds were being planted. And I'm a firm believer when the student's ready, the teacher will appear, mantra. And when the student became ready,

the teacher appeared. And my design looked like I went to a state-funded facility that cost $2 to get into where most people would say, No one can get clean in an establishment like that. It's unheard of. They sell drugs right out front.

Like, true story. But I believe that you can get sober in a bar if you're ready. And when all those seeds were planted, when a series of events took place and the pain became great enough, it's like they just fucking eroded out of the dirt like they were on angel dust. And they just blossom. And everything made sense to me. And I was on my way to treatment.

I was in this van. They came and picked me up and they were driving me. And before I even got into treatment, I could kind of see like how things were going to play out, right? I realized that on my way to treatment, still withdrawing from heroin, sick as a research monkey, man. Like, I could piece together that the common denominator in my problems were me.

And if I just got the fuck out of my way, I might stand a chance at a better day. And I'm telling you, it's like the sky's part and I just walked across the sea. And I hadn't even entered into that facility yet. I was still in this druggy buggy being driven there. In the back seat, curled up in a fetal position because I was so sick. I just couldn't stand the thought of anything. Living, breathing, dying. It all sucked.

And when I got to that facility, I knew that things were different. I knew that they were going to be different. But I also had to wear withal to know that I had said that many times before I had cried wolf. And I didn't think I was crying wolf. I just didn't understand the severity of the situation that I was in, meaning my addiction. Looking back, I never could understand why I got beat to fuck every time I stepped in the ring with my opponent. Because I was a really smart guy. Pride myself on being like an intelligent outside the box.

individual thinker. And looking back, no wonder I got beat to fuck. Because I never gave it the time or attention that it deserved. Because I always, I know, I know. I wonder what you had, but I wasn't willing to do what you did to get what you got. And finally, like, looking back, acquiring all the information, seeds being planted, I had now become accountable, right? Ignorance was no longer bliss.

I had been given this information that no matter how much I'd like to try, I can't fucking forget. And they would say things to me like, you know, it's really hard to drink a glass of wine when it's cut with AA. Or shoot a bag of heroin when it's cut with N.A. It doesn't quite sit so right anymore. And now, right, like, I'm really well-versed. Totally understanding. appreciate, recognize, and definitely give attention in time to the disease that I suffer from. And I remain proactive in my recovery.

I know that today I suffer with a disease called alcoholism, not alcoholism. And I can't stay sober on yesterday's sobriety. And I took heed to all the things that my mentors were suggesting that I do early on. And almost nine years later, I still do the same shit today I did when I was in that fucking $2. or inpatient treatment center. I'm an accessory whore, right? I get consumed by money, property,

prestige, fucking things that are glitzy and glamorous looking that always, always, always, without fail, divert me from my primary purpose. I've done it so many times that I can't even say that it wouldn't happen, right?

The handwriting's on the wall and it's in my writing, and I know that. Do you have a better understanding now of how hard it is to help someone who doesn't want to be helped, how it's nearly almost impossible? Again, perspective and perception.

When I thought that it wasn't helping me, it was helping me. Right? Like, now if you look at, okay, here we go. If you look at the analytics, if you look at the statistics that are the numbers, the data, the government's collecting and consuming

by whatever polls and data that they put out there, it states that we're fighting an unwitting battle. Right now, statistic state theoretical evidence dictates that I am to be higher dead right now. Cold hard facts. The fact that I'm not

is miraculous equaling a miracle and B it defies fucking logic. Cold hard data states that I am to be higher dead right now. So if we look at it from that perspective, it looks like there's no light at the end of this tunnel. We are fighting an

unwitting battle. But ask my mother, who has not had to bury me in that plot that she bought me 14 years ago if I'm fighting an unwitting battle. You see what I'm saying? So how do we create more success stories like you then? From someone that's come from it?

What's the answer? I work with the DEA, right? The DEA had come to me and they said, look, we understand that we cannot arrest our way out of this problem. We are making no leadway in this war on drugs. Just say no is a fucking proven failure. Blah, blah, la. They brought me in to be the keynote speaker

at these opioid summits that they throw in. The DEA is, you know, the DEA. But within the umbrella of the DEA are all these different factions in different states and they're all kind of ran a little differently. And they throw this opioid summit, this 360-degree opioid summit. They bring me in to give my talk, right?

To, like, different demographics of people, middle school kids up to DEA agents, to kind of give them a different perspective on what we're doing here and the best approach to yield a better outcome. They said that they were interviewing Pablo Escobar not too long ago. And they said to Pablo, they said, Pablo, how do we stop, how do we stop the supply? How do we stop the supply? How do we stop your people from sending in fucking billions and billions worth of whatever?

And he looked at him, playing his day and said, you stop the supply by stopping the demand. I lived every day and every night of every breathing moment in my life, coming up with money to consume as much heroin as possible. I've been sober over eight years now, which means I no longer live like that. I'm just one person. Within that time of my sobriety,

I've helped another human being. That's two. Two have helped four. Four have helped eight. Eight have helped 16. Within that 16 that I just talked about, I guarantee you we've slowed down the demand. Right?

So if we can continue to, to navigate on that journey, helping one individual at a time, meeting them where they're at, not where I believe they should be or expect them to go, we can change the outcome. But I think that that's,

you know, so simple that sometimes we can miss it, including myself. Would have been some triggers for you along your way the last eight years? And how do you fight through them? Well, believe it or not, my sobriety has been very monotone

and I have not been triggered and most will be like that's insane that doesn't even fucking sound right but it's the truth and the only reason why is because I was beaten into a state of reasonableness where I was in so much pain

that when I got sober I didn't know if I was done or if like I was never going to use again what I knew for certain is that the pain was so great that I just didn't want to feel that way anymore so I started buying into the suggestions and they would tell me things like in order for you to keep what you have you have to give it away feelings aren't facts feelings will pass and I started buying into what they were saying

and I started to feel better and then the next day I felt a little bit better and a little bit more better and then all of a sudden my life just got really good really quick but I still did what they suggested like if you stick to the basics you don't have to go back to the basics and I still live today how I live then. And because I remain proactive in my recovery, I'm armed with so much information that I can't be ignorant to it anymore. So if I find myself in a place or a position

that's really uncomfortable or hurting, I have no one to blame but myself for not doing what was suggested to get me out of that place. Because I've been accountable to my actions. When I got sober in the beginning, they said, happy with where you're at, take a look at who fucking put you there.

And that's the truth, even to today. So, like, I know that I have these tools that I'm armed with the facts that I can create a better outcome, provided I'm willing to do the work that's entailed, which generally is not fun or appealing. So... Working on ourselves is one of the hardest things you can do. Absolutely. 100%.

I mean, that's why I got high for so long, was to deflect me from me. You know, I'd escape this reality that I'd create for myself. And then all of a sudden I'd come down, the heroin would wear off, and I'd see life for what it was again. And I'm like, fuck, scramble to, like,

hurry up and get more. Which created just this wash, rinse, repeat of cycles of living. Did having a good support system help you too? It's everything. It was everything. The opposite of addiction is connection. And when I was ready to take this thing seriously, I surrounded myself with, like, really good people.

They genuinely had my best interest at heart. And it wasn't by like, oh, I want what they have because they drive a nice car or they have a big home or a really pretty wife. It was like, I want what they have because he's not receiving a phone call from his wife saying, if you're not home within the next hour, your shit's going to be on the front yard.

He's not receiving a phone call from his probation officer saying that he just violated and he has to go back. You know, all those things were like very appealing to me. He has a consistent roof over his head consecutively that he always can go home and open the door and get into the same bed

and open the same refrigerator. That's all I ever wanted with security and stability. That's all I ever wanted. And those things were very appealing to me. So that's how I was able to kind of link up with mentors and advisors. Has the felony on your record presented any challenges in the life that you've built for yourself now? No, it's actually helped. It's actually become an asset.

In my world is one of the only worlds where the worst your record reads, the more credible you are. It gives you credibility. You know what I mean? Yeah. Well, I think that's so important. You said that because we want to change that stigma that, you know, a felony doesn't define the rest of your life. in a negative way. For sure.

I always say your history does not have to dictate your future, but it can absolutely guide and direct it. And I mean that wholeheartedly. What's your life look like now? I know you've touched on it briefly, but give us everything, our audience, everything that you're doing now and what's to look forward to?

At the moment, I've just opened my, you know, God's humor. Well, my story looked like this. I went to a 90-day inpatient treatment center, and from there I went and I lived in a sober living house where I resided for one year. And I did that because my sponsor suggested that I do that because he had done that. So it didn't take a rocket scientist

to figure out that that might be the best decision. And I did that and that house did for me what no other home was able to do. I could always do good in a, you know, in a confined setting. I could always do good in an institution. I can fall in line. I'm very institutionalized. I know how to kind of do that day in and day out.

But for me, the ball was always dropped once I completed my stay at whatever kind of institution, whether it's a treatment center or incarceration. And I'm thrusted back into reality. That's like, whoa. So when I complete it, in my treatment center, I went to a sober living house, which was like a step-down process. And it still held me accountable. And I stayed with like a bunch of like-minded people.

And we leaned on each other. And we made it through. And I promised that when I found myself in a position that I was financially capable, I was going to recreate that sober living house that I lived in. And five years later to the day, I opened up my very first Novak's house in Willington, Delaware. It was one house with 10 beds. Today I have six houses with 65 beds, but what I do is I travel the nation and I give talks and raise money in order to provide scholarships for any man, because they're all men's housing, that's in search of continuing their journey after completing it, a program in a safe, structured, accountable setting for their recovery. I refuse to let price be a deterrent as to why someone can't continue on their journey of recovery. So I just provide beds if I have them available for anybody in need that's willing to do what we suggest while residing in Novak's house.

And then in doing that, unfortunately, the demand was overwhelming. The beds stayed full. And I wish that wasn't the case. I wish there was no demand and I just, the houses didn't exist. But there's demand. fill that and I just knew that I could do more

and be better and help more so through recovery I learned that I can create the environment that I seek I don't have to see it to believe it I just need to believe it and I can see it so so I was like fuck this I'm gonna

do bigger and better and help more and and here's God's strange humor on 420, April 20th, which is National 420 weed smoking day in the world, Delaware literally approved me of my license to open up my own treatment center. So I've opened up my own treatment center and it's called Redemption Addiction Treatment Center and it's in Wilmington, Delaware and it allows me to help more. And I'm just kind of continuing on that journey.

And you have a book too. Yeah, yeah, I've written several books. but I just did the audio versions that came out, and I narrated them in the streets of Baltimore and Dreamseller. And that was a really, really interesting journey to go down narrating books. You have a lot. You got a good voice. It's a lot.

Yeah. It's fucking, I totally underestimated that process. But I did it. I completed it, and I'm really proud of it. It's funny. drugs and alcohol consumed every living fiber of my being for the majority of my life. And then I got sober. And now they consume just as much of every living fiber of my being.

The only difference is I don't partake in them. And it allows me to help a lot of people that do partake in them. It's just, it's magical that only makes sense within my recovery world. Do you think the world of you and the world of BAM reversed because he was there to help you years ago? And now, you know, we see what's going on in the news with him and his struggles? I think that everyone gets a turn. Everyone gets a turn.

And the world has a way of right-sizing people. So for me, what I've learned is that no one's exempt. No one is exempt. despite age, race, creed, religion, lack of religion, addiction and alcoholism does not discriminate. One out of three people will be affected, whether it's directly or indirectly. And it's no longer the guy under the bridge

with the needle hanging out of his arm, with the cup shaking it for change. You know, it can also be like, like the celebrity household name, it can be the billionaire's son in Aspen. Yeah. What do you think your message is to the individuals that are listening to the show

who are very interested in your story and what you've overcome and what you've been through? What do you want them to take away from this? That we're human beings, not human doings. And we're all just doing the best of what we have. and for me I much prefer to come from a positioning of understanding as opposed to being understood

so at the very least after all this shit that I've said in this very short period of time that you've unfortunately had to hear my voice if you can find more similarities than differences maybe it'll make sense to look into

what I do and if there's a way that I can help you throughout your journey right on you can reach me directly 610 314-6747-7-47 if there is no similarities and it's more differences then fucking amazing I salute you and I will cheer you to the bitter end of whatever direction you go in you know awesome Brandon thank you so much for taking the time out of your schedule to come here today it's been a great conversation hopefully a little bit something different it was I enjoyed this it was it was definitely different it was it was fun I really enjoyed it awesome man and we'll put

all your you know book links social media links in the bio. I'd appreciate that. Yeah, we got you, man. Yeah, give a redemption addiction treatment center a follow. That's my new treatment center, my Instagram. My website takes you down to all that. Brandenovac.com.

Awesome. Cool, man. Thanks so much, brother.