Locked In with Ian Bick - East Coast Blood on Robbing, Drug Dealing & Surviving Prison | Dylan Rielly

Episode Date: April 3, 2025

Dylan Rielly reveals the reality of life as an East Coast Blood, from robbing and drug dealing to the struggles of surviving inside prison. #GangLife #StreetCrime #PrisonSurvival #TrueCrime #GangWars #CriminalUnderworld #LawAndCrime #HustleAndSurvive Thank you to DRAFT KINGS for sponsoring today’s episode: New players can get FIVE HUNDRED CASINO SPINS ON A FEATURED GAME! Just sign up with code IANBICK and wager a minimum of five dollars to receive FIVE HUNDRED CASINO SPINS ON A FEATURED GAME. Connect with Dylan Rielly: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dylan.rielly?mibextid=ZbWKwL Hosted, Executive Produced & Edited By Ian Bick: https://www.instagram.com/ian_bick/?hl=en https://ianbick.com/ Presented by Tyson 2.0 & Wooooo Energy: https://tyson20.com/ https://woooooenergy.com/ Buy Merch: https://convictclothing.net/collections/convict-clothing-x-ian-bick Timestamps: 00:00:00 Introduction and Vermont Roots 00:08:55 The Impact of Growing Up in a Unsafe Neighborhood 00:18:44 Struggling with Substance Abuse at 14 00:28:37 Facing Danger: Protection and Consequences 00:38:17 United Blood Nation and the 31-Second Jump 00:47:11 Childhood Mischief and Pyrotechnics 00:57:32 Robbing a Convenience Store: A Night of Desperation 01:06:09 Arrest at Dunkin' Donuts: A Turning Point 01:15:22 Navigating the Legal System and Probation Challenges 01:24:34 Life Inside: A Glimpse Into Prison Dynamics 01:34:05 Loss and Responsibility: Dealing with a Friend's Overdose 01:43:55 Navigating Legal Challenges and Confessions 01:52:53 Hidden Contraband: Survival Tactics in Jail 02:02:00 Struggles with Addiction and the Law 02:11:20 Starting Bigger Deals 02:20:36 Overcoming a Criminal Past 02:29:38 Embracing the Butterfly Effect in Life Choices Powered by: Just Media House : https://www.justmediahouse.com/ Creative direction, design, assets, support by FWRD: https://www.fwrd.co Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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In fact, we're so confident restoration is guaranteed, pour your money back. Isn't it nice to have someone like that on your side? Save up to 30% your first year at lifelock.com slash podcast. Terms apply. Dylan, welcome to Lockton, man. You drove up from Vermont today. We don't know if you're our first guest from Vermont or not. We'll have to figure that out. But anyways, welcome. And thanks so much for coming out here today. Man, thanks for having me, man. I really appreciate it.

It's cool. Of course, man. Plug your YouTube channel and stuff in right now at the top of this episode that you were just telling me about. Yeah, I'll have to get you the links. Like I said, I don't know how to get those links to my channels, but yeah, I'll have to tell people what they're about, though, and I'll have the links later in the description of this.

Yeah, so, yeah, like I was telling you before, my. My initial YouTube channel that I've had for, you know, whatever, 15 plus years, just miscellaneous. I did, you know, kind of some stupid shit. Am I allowed to swear on you? Of course, yeah. I did stupid shit. There's some of, some MMA stuff on there because I did. MMA and boxing.

There's mostly gaming stuff, like live streaming gaming. played a lot of war zone. Like I was big in a war zone for a long time. I love Warzone. I haven't played Call of Duty nonstop lately, zombies, war zone, everything. Yeah, yeah. I used to, I used, it's every night never failed. I was streaming with that.

And then the other, my main YouTube channel that I've been doing stuff on for the last two years is the, it's called Dr. Buds 802. It's the cannabis, cannabis channel. You know, I used to grow out. outdoor with my dad and stuff. And I never really got into it, kind of just planting them, let them do its thing. But the indoor, I always wanted to grow.

I always wanted to learn how to do the indoor because it just, everything was so much better with that. And, you know, again, with all the legalizations and stuff, while I started my journey, I figured I'd document that whole journey. You know, so yeah, I made channel doctor Buds 8.02 and I do everything from weekly update videos on my current grows to, you know, step by step, DIY tutorial stuff, just on various aspects of the growth cycle, things you need to do because it's, you know, it's different. When you grow outside, it's, you know,

mother nature runs its course. You really don't have to do a whole lot of indoor you have to control your environment, temperature, humidity, you got to feed them, you got to have the right soil, the right, you know, everything fluctuates and changes. You know, like for example, when you're starting off seeds, you know, they don't have a root zone yet, so you want the humidity to be as high as you can really have it because they're drawn the water from, you know, the moisture and the air and the humidity. until they establish their root zone. Usually in the vegetative stage,

I don't know how much you know about growing. Nothing. Nothing. There's a veg cycle and a flower cycle, and the veg cycle is 18 and 6. And you're really just trying to, you know, establish your root zone first, and then, you know, you can do stress training,

bending branches down to get them to, you know, manipulate your grow, grow certain waves. you top your plants to get them so that it's not like a Christmas tree when you top them you cut the top off the top you know that top site it actually it grows in two from there but not only that it redistributes the energy from the top to all the other lower sections so then you get this bushy plant and you can top two three times if you want. But I only have three by three-tenths, so I have limited space. I can usually run like five or six plants in there, and I throw down this netting. It's got three-inch squares in it

so that I can bend the branches down so that they grow outwards and up and all the stuff on the inside of the plant gets to grow. So it really maximizes what I get from my grow. And again, I don't really, I don't smoke a lot. I don't have tolerance. I used to smoke like a champ. But it's just, the stuff these days is not like it used to be. It's strong. Get too anxious if I smoke too much or get feeling like I'm doing something wrong.

I could be laying in bed watching or listening to your podcast. And I'm like, fuck, what am I doing? I'm doing something wrong. You know, something, I get bugging out. But, yeah, edibles or just a couple puffs at night. but like I said, I like the hobby of it, just kind of like with anything, starting from nothing or the bottom

and seeing what your end results are. Well, we're going to send you home with some edibles and Tyson joints so you could taste those out. Shout out to our sponsor, Tyson 2.0 and Rick Flares Wu Energy. Yeah, I have looked forward to those things ever since I listened to Mike's podcast and he talked about them all the time

And I was like, I got to get some of those at some point. So that's cool that you have those here. Yeah, I do one every night before bed. It just nothing helps me better to sleep at night than those. Yeah. And it just helps so much. So anyone, you know, that's listening and wants to, you know, try an edible for the first time, check out like your local dispensers, see if they carry mic bites.

Or if you go to the Tyson 2.0 website, it'll tell you their locations. But they're great. They really are good. It's a good product. Oh, shit. Now, did you grow up in Vermont? Yeah. Yep, I was born and raised.

Barry, Vermont. I don't know. You're familiar with Vermont at all. Barry, it's Barry City. It's central Vermont. About 40 minutes away from Burlington. I don't know if you know Burlington, Vermont. In middle school, kids used to take the snow and ski class

would do like every couple months. They would go to Burlington. Yeah. That's not two, that was that, like three hours from here, Burlington? From here? Yeah. Well, it's about 40. It's about 40 minutes north of me,

and I am about four hours north of you. It's about five hours. Okay, got you. About five hours to get you there. But yep, I was born, yeah, born and raised, Barry, Vermont. My parents had moved to Williamstown, like 10 minutes outside of Barry when I was like nine years old. City just started getting really bad with drugs.

and crime and all that stuff so they wanted to get it out of the area i didn't but i had no choice i had to go with my parents and um you know i stayed i stayed hanging out with all my my friends from barry um took me a while to really fit in and in williamstown out there i mean i made friends but i was a bad influence and bad example in people and um well i'll get to i'll get to i'll get to to some of that stuff, but, um... Did you have any siblings growing up? I, well, I was raised as an only child. My father has another daughter from a previous marriage

that didn't know he was her father up until I was probably 14. We got to, you know, I got to meet her and her husband and stuff, and they were pretty nice and they, um, yeah, they, they started to kind of build a relationship with us and

I kind of ruin that later down the road. I'll get to that. But, um, yeah, I was, I was basically an only child. It's just me.

Um, pretty independent. I did my own thing, hung out with my friends. I was fine by myself. You know, We didn't have electronics and shit back then, so it was all, you know, just hanging out with your friends and coming home when the streetlights came on. You know, you always knew where all your friends were because of whatever lawn had all the bikes on it.

And, you know, good old days. You know, it's different these days. You know, all the kids just want to, you know, it's all roadblocks and Fortnite. and my daughter as much as I don't like the fact that she's so hooked to electronics and video games, she's 11, she's about to be 12. I'd prefer to have her doing that than being outside in the neighborhood that we live in. Used to make me feel bad because she would ask, you know, why can't I go outside and play with the other kids in the neighborhood?

and she just didn't get it. You know, she's too young to understand for a while that it's just not safe, you know. And she gets it now, you know, she sees the stuff that goes on, the fights, the cops, the ambulances, and, you know, we get... Barry's not really on the map. Vermont is not on the map a lot

compared to a lot of other places. A lot of people think of it like a woodsy backcountry type of area which yes we have that but we also have our cities that have the drugs the crime all that stuff

Barry just happens to be one of those places you know we get shootings we get stabbings we get there's a big drug problem it's all drugs it's the main problem there's nothing there There's nothing there for these kids to do Except following the same footsteps as their parents

Or their siblings or friends And it's not a good area to grow up in You know as soon as we can get out We're out You know, it's just sketchy You know, I can't even Can't even walk around safe without having to look over your shoulder I mean I got I got stabbed back in 2006

16, just walking, just walking, got an altercation with a couple guys. I think they thought I was somebody else because I didn't know these people. Yeah, that was a, I guess I'll talk about that more later in the story. But my childhood, my father was, my mother drank, she still drinks. My father was a drug addict. He was addicted to cocaine, crack cocaine. And I didn't know what was going on there for quite a while until I was a teenager. I just knew, you know, I'd see the fight, see my father leave. And, you know, I just, it was kind of normal with me.

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Non-withdrawable casino spins valid for featured game only and expire in 168 hours, see terms at casino. Dotrafkings.com slash promos ends 427-25 at 1159 p.m. Eastern Time. What do your parents do for work? So my father, he's retired now, but he still works here and there as he can.

He spent his career in the granite sheds, which is why I wanted to follow his footsteps. taught me some stuff when he had his own business. And, you know, I had done some work in the granite sheds. My mother worked. She worked for the state police, worked at the state police barracks. I think she was a dispatcher when I was young. Now she works on the 911 board.

But ever since COVID hit, she works from home. So, you know, my upbringing, you know, I had good parents that tried to give me a good life. They obviously had their own issues, which I didn't realize took a toll on me until later in life. And nothing really happened outside of just the family dilemmas and stuff until I was probably 11 or 12 is where things started to happen to happen. for me and there's a lot of things. I've got to be careful about certain things to talk about on here and there's certain things that I've left out of my stories in the past that, you know, I try to work on my past traumas these days, and part of that's talking about it, so there are some things that I will share. So I had gotten, I think, what really changed

the course for me was not too long after my parents had moved to Williamston. We had, um, we had some neighbors that were friends and they had a son and I hung out, you know, with their son and, um, he actually ended up molesting me as, uh, as a young, young kid. He was older than me. He was 13 at the time and I was, you know, what, 10, 11? and he was bigger than me. There wasn't a lot I could do, and he, you know, would force me to do certain things. And, you know, it bothered me that I had gone to my mother about it

and seemed like nothing got done about it. And it just, like, nobody took it serious, but I had so much anger built up in me over that and it, and so much confusion. and, you know, I really developed anger problems and started acting out and really, it's where my story began. And not too long after that, I started smoking weed and drinking at a young age, uh, 12, 13 years old. started smoking cigarettes, drinking with friends, smoking weed.

And, you know, as a lot of people figure out with that stuff, it suppresses some of those feelings, suppresses anger or trauma or depression or whatever, anxiety. It makes you forget those things in it. You know, it's mind-altering substances. They alter your mind. They alter your emotions. and I fell into that pretty quick, but nothing hard. You know, it started, like it probably starts for a lot of people.

Well, you know, I'll drink and smoke weed, but I'm never going to do pills. You know, well, okay, well, now I'm doing pills, but I'll never do coke. And next thing, you know, you're doing coke, okay, but I'll never do heroin. I'll never use a needle. And it just, before you know, you're full-blown addict. But I never touched the hard drugs until I found out about my father. father. And I was pretty slick with it how I found out. And I knew that my parents fought a lot. And I didn't know what was going on, but I'd know my mother would go looking for my father,

trying to find him down in Barry, and he'd be at the crack spots or whatever. And I knew that when they got home, they always went out in the garage to talk. They didn't want to talk about stuff around me. So I went out in the garage and we had an intercom system back then, because this was the early 2000s. And so I stuck a tack. I wedged attack in the intercom system for the talk button so that I could sit inside and listen. You know, it's funny. I laugh about it now. It wasn't funny at the time at all. But listening to their conversation in the house is how I figured out that my father had a drug problem with crack cocaine. And, you know, it threw me for a whirl. I didn't, I never expected that out of him and I didn't like drugs.

You know, I didn't like the hard drugs. I wasn't ever planning on, on them being a part of my story. I, you know, I was trying to stick to the smaller stuff. And after that, after I felt, out about him is when I think I started to dabble with the harder things and I got into pills at a young age, 14 years old, around the same time. I was 14 when I found out about my father and I was 14 when I started doing pills. And back then, what really, see from my area, what really did it was the, Suboxin. The bupren orphan came into, I'm sure there's probably bup in jail when you were in there. Or I'm sure people have talked about it. You know what it is?

No, I've just heard of Suboxone. It's, uh, yeah, it's, I guess some people call it as a synthetic heroin, but it's a treatment-related medication that people use to get off of opiates and, and heroin and stuff like that. But it was cheap, and it came to, you know, once it hit the streets of Barry, everybody was doing it because you could get these pills for $5 a piece, and all you needed was an eighth of that pill, and you were fucked up, you were rocked all day long. And there was all fun in games back then for us.

Little did we know we were all turning into heroin addicts, you know, one step at a time. And yeah, it took a toll with a lot of things. I had also started boxing. You know, my father got clean in 06. He's been clean ever since. I mean, he drank and, you know, does the edibles. Sometimes he makes edibles and stuff.

But he's been clean from the crack and the cocaine since 2006. He's done really well with it. But we started boxing. He got me into boxing. I come from a long line of boxers in my family. And that was a hobby that I was good at and I got recognized for. And I stuck with it because I was good at it. And there wasn't a lot of things that I was good at.

You know, I was always trying to fit in. When I got to that pre-teen age, I just wanted to fit in. I wanted people to like me. And there wasn't a lot that I got recognized for outside of math and boxing. The math skills came into play when I became a drug dealer. We'll get into that. But the boxing was, the boxing was really important to me for a while. And I went to a boxing club out in Hardwick, Vermont.

That was the closest one we had. And there was the owner, which was a trainer there. There was another trainer there named Jimmy Sheridan. And he picked me out of the whole club. He said I was the best prospect he had at that gym. He wanted me to travel around New England and compete in golden gloves and do all that stuff. And I was turning the new leaf. I was on a better track.

And just one day my trainer had a brain aneurysm and passed away. And after that, I just got tuned off of boxing for a while. went back to doing bad shit, doing drugs and partying. I played other sports as a kid, basketball, soccer. It was really into soccer. I played spring soccer, ball soccer, indoor soccer in the wintertime. So, you know, three seasons out of the year, I was playing soccer, and I was pretty good at it. Probably could have gone somewhere if I stuck with it.

didn't. But yeah, so after I started going back the wrong route, I serious things started to happen, you know, for the area that I live in. It's a small area, but there was situations with some friends of mine when we were 14, 15 years old. A buddy of mine, his dad, there was a dispute over drugs with him and some other people. And somebody owed my buddy's dad money. And my buddy's dad paid a couple of our buddies' $500 to lure him into this car where they were just going to beat him up. So my friends did that.

And long story short, they did. more than then just beat him up. They ended up killing him. And, you know, something like that happening in a small area like that, you know, situations like that didn't happen often. And it hit close to home because it was friends that I grew up with. It was close from, I mean, we're 14, 15 years old. And now they're roped into this murder, you know, this, this murder.

over drugs and, you know, it was just all people that I knew and, and associated with. And, you know, it was pretty messed up. My, you know, my buddy's dad, he, uh, after, after they killed the guy, you know, his name was Bichess, the guy that was killed, but after they killed him, Oh my my buddy His dad That ordered the hit And that did the killing Wanted

You know he made him clean out the car Made him Even made him throw a rock on us Had to make sure he was actually done You know a 14 year old kid You're making your kid do that type of shit It's pretty fucked up But yeah that's

That's where Things started to You know We started to really get involved with bad shit. And I started selling drugs at a young age, 15 years old, just selling,

just started off selling weed. I had friends that were into Coke and stuff, and my friends that, you know, were involved with the killing. They, you know, some of us knew what happened before the police did. You know, it took a while. for it to come out but they had gotten into cocaine and I just remember them just

turning in and it looked like they were the walking dead they were just dropped so much weight and they were skinny and just faces all sunken in and it and it and I was like why would people if I can do this shit you know it's it's looking like death and you know I understand now they were suppressing everything you know, what they went through at a young age. That's a big thing to go through at a young age. And I was with them the day that they got taken down for it. And yeah, it was just, it really, like I said before,

I mean, it really had a strong impact on me. And it played a role into my own trauma. There was, I'm trying to think which direction I want to go with this because so much happened for me around the ages of 14 and 15 years old. So, about 15 years old, I started to sell more than just weed. I guess selling pills, selling, you know, colonnopins and bupe seem to be what everybody wanted. So that's what I was distributing. And, you know, it was just localized at that point. I hadn't branched off yet to other states, oops, other states, other cities, bigger people.

I hadn't yet gotten there. but my I had a buddy that you know and and before I say this I had gotten my hands on a gun at a young age I was 14 15 years old a couple of my buddies robbed the house found a gun sold it for cheap I bought it it was a old 45 Haskell high point piece of shit um you know I but I felt like I was big and bad. I had this gun. I was 14, 15 years old. I mean, the fucker was so heavy.

I couldn't even keep it in my waist. It was bringing my pants to my ankles trying to carry this thing around. But that gun, buying that gun was probably the worst thing I could have done at that time. I had a friend that had gotten into his own drug debt with some people. And, you know, the people were not really people that were people to mess with. And he was pretty nervous about the fact that they were coming for him, and they did come for him. And where my story really turned was, you know, when they came for him to collect the money, you know, the situation, the bichous situation.

with my friends and that whole killing thing that had happened. It was still fresh. It was still very fresh. This was 2006. It was in the same year. The same year this stuff happened. And maybe things had gone different had that situation not happened. But because that situation happened, you know, now it's a possibility like they might kill my friend over this money. You know, that's what I just died over was a drug debt. And I had my gun, and when they came for him, you know, my first instinct was to make sure that he didn't die. And I made the choice to do what I had to do to protect him. And I didn't, I really haven't talked about this much, so bear with me.

You're doing great, brother. And, you know, like I said, I got to word things a certain way. So, yes, I intentionally, you know, I intentionally did what I did. I pulled the trigger. I didn't intend for the person to not walk away. but I fully intended on on shooting I just didn't you know I meant to shoot to harm to shoot the scare I didn't I didn't mean I didn't mean for it to go the way it did just keep it at that and that really that really sent sent me in the wrong direction. You know, you constantly looking over your shoulder and, you know, obviously we were young. We had, there was, there was some further help with that situation, but, you know,

being that young and experiencing these things, it, you know, you're scarred for life. And I think about it a lot, you know, would I do it differently if it were to happen again? No, I wouldn't, you know, I, not that I want to go back to prison, you know, but if I was protecting somebody I loved or cared about, you know, I'd do what I had to do. It's crazy world we live in. And so that happened and, you know, I got into harder drugs, looking over my shoulder all the time. And, I mean, even still to this day, you know, I think about that all the time. And it came up and bit me in the ass, you know, throughout my sobriety before, you know. could, you know, maybe it's just a nightmare that you have, or maybe it's, maybe you watch the

wrong episode of the first 48 or, you know, just the thought could pop up, you know, it's, it's a lot, it's a lot for somebody that age. It's a lot for anybody in general. I mean, I don't think of myself as a cold-blooded killer. I'm loyal. I, you know, I care, but when I care about somebody I care about them and you know so anyways I started I started to sell um you know know hard of drugs pills got into the cocaine stuff and I started you know in the school thing wasn't really working out for me I got into a lot of fights I got busted at school selling drugs a few times and you know I spent more time getting kicked out of school than I spent school actually paying attention. And I spent a lot of my time with the wrong, with the wrong people

and the wrong crowds, which gained me attention from the wrong people, but it gained me the attention I was looking for. Like I said before, I always just wanted to fit in. I always felt like I was the nice guy finishing last with everything, whether it was girls, whether it was sports, whether it was anything, I just felt like I didn't compare to everybody else around me. And there was nothing that I was good at that got me recognized for anything. I just wanted to get recognized. And I'm sure a lot of kids can relate to that. But I started getting recognized by the wrong people. Because at this point, you know, you got the crack, the cocaine, heroin's kind of trickling in, but you've got the dealers coming from other places. You've got all these city people coming in because Vermont's a big

moneymaker. It's a hub. it's it's where everybody goes to make their money because you buy you buy shit in the city whether it's you know springfield hartford new york whatever you're buying shit in the cities and you're coming to vermont and you're selling it for three four times the amount so i started getting recognized from um you know city people and i started spending more time with them and I got real close with blood members

you know yeah I was a white kid hanging out with all these black kids and everybody called me a fucking wangster and this and that whatever it was I started dealing with these people and I made my my first city trip I was 16 years old you know that I actually went and got involved with stuff with that and I actually join the Bloods at a very young age.

No, it's a lot of misconceptions with the Bloods and the Crips and the Gang shit. I'm not going to get into, there's a lot of political shit. I'm not going to get into with it, but the West Coast and East Coast are two different fractions. There are two different things. A lot of people think you're white. You can't join the Bloods. you can't join the Crips, you can't, you know, whatever.

If you're not black, you're not joining. Yes, on the West Coast, that's usually how it goes. But in the East Coast, things are a lot different. You know, the East Coast Bloods started up in 1990s, Rikers Island, basically because of biggest factor was the fact that the Latin Kings that were founded in Chicago had made their way to upstate New York prisons. And we're branching out. And, you know, yeah, people think of Crips being the, you know, the biggest enemy of the bloods,

which they are in certain aspects. But the Latin Kings became a big problem in the prison systems as well. So Rikers Island started up, you know, the East Coast Bloods, United Blood Nation, to recruit and have some protection and people to go against the Latin Kings. And they recruit. I mean, there's. Any ethnicity you can think of. I mean, on the East Coast, you see people joining everything.

You know, I had to take, you know, I took a 31 second jump to get in and did a lot of, you know, favors and a lot of, a lot of work that, you know, they put the young bucks on to do. And I didn't care. I didn't care what I was doing. I didn't care how much trouble I was going to get in because I was getting recognized for things.

And I fit in. Like, I finally felt like I was fitting into something that was important. You know, and it just, I didn't know what I was getting in. Exema is unpredictable. But you can flare less with ebbglyce. A once-monthly treatment for moderate-tiss disappear eczema. After an initial four-month- or longer dosing phase, about four-and-10 people taking ephlis, achieved itchrolate and glare or almost clear skin at 16 weeks.

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2 by any means. What does a 31-second jump mean? It's not what comes with every initiation. Some sets or members might have you do certain things. Sometimes 31 second jump, 31. 31 is a number that is used by the United Blood Nation for many things. There's 31 rules.

There's 31, you know, a 31 second jump to get in. A lot of people, if they want to leave, take a 31 second jump out. A lot of people say you never get out. You know, it's blood in, blood out. I took the 31-second jump in by five members, and, you know, that was that. And I felt like I was part of the family.

And, you know, I started selling drugs for more people, dealing with bigger amounts, dealing with bigger people in bigger places. And, you know, the downside to that is, you know, dealing with bigger quantities of drugs, bigger money, bigger people, bigger places comes with bigger consequences when bad things happen. And, you know, there's been a lot of things that have happened. My stuff wasn't gang related or drug related when I was stabbed.

It was just wrong place, wrong time situation. But I had to, there was a lot of things that I, I don't want to say I had to do them. I mean, technically, yeah, if I was asked to do something, I had to do it. But there was a lot of things that I was just willing to do. I just wanted to do it. I volunteered to do certain things. You got somebody that owes you money. I'll go collect that money.

You got somebody that you want to stuck up. I'll be the stick up kid. I'll do this. I'll do that. And I wanted to do that. I wasn't ordered to do everything that I did. But it all comes back to that recognition. It got me that recognition.

Do you think that's something you lacked by your parents, especially after your childhood trauma getting molested and your mom not really supporting you through that situation? Do you think this was your way of getting back at them? I don't want to say that it was to get back at them. But yeah, I think maybe some of it had to do with what I lacked at home. I'm not, not, not to say anything bad about my parents because my parents are wonderful people, but I think over the years of my mother just being so invested in what my father had going on. And, and that whole situation until I was 14 years old, I, I wasn't getting the attention there that, you know, your regular kid would have got.

And, you know, yeah, it makes sense. It makes sense that that probably played a role in why I was seeking recognition from other people. Like I said, it didn't have to be gang members. It didn't have to be, I mean, it could have been girls, it could have been whatever. I just wanted to feel like I fit in. You know, I just wanted to feel like I was somebody. And being from Vermont, that lifestyle, it's appealing to a lot of people. There's a lot of people.

There's a lot of drug dealers that are in Vermont that are local people that will never do the city thing. They, you know, they think they're kingpins. I mean, for fuck's sakes, me and my friend, we were 14, 15 years old. I remember selling weed. I think he was younger than that, 13 years old. And, you know, we bought an ounce and we sold it. And then we did it again. And, you know, we're a couple weeks into it.

We're running 20 bags here and there. And I remember just one night we're high and I'm sitting there telling my buddy, I'm like, we run this shit. You know, we run this town. Like, we're just fucking nickel and diamond weed, you know? Like, we're not no big shots. But it was just the, my math skills too,

I was always good at math growing up. You know, I was in advanced math classes in school. And that helped me with drug dealing. You know, that was, that was my, that was my main go-to over the years was selling drugs. Because I always had it like that. And I didn't ever need the money for it because I had the connections for it. You know, it's like every time that I got out of prison or, you know, say I got put in rehab or wherever. I could come home, you know, I was, you know, yeah, I jumped through the hoops and did what

what I had to do to let them think that I wanted a new life, whatever. I didn't. I was just anxious to get back home. And I always had connections that I could just be like, hey, I need to get back on my feet, here you go. You know, give me a bunch of work. So, or, you know, here's a car. You just got home. Here's a car. Here's some work. Here's this and that. I never needed money for any of that stuff. So it was easy for me. And, you know, it's just, I had so much potential. for so much other shit growing up that I could have actually made it somewhere with. You know, I tried picking the boxing back up at, you know, later on in my teenage years and did the MMA thing as an adult and stuff, you know, it's just nothing serious.

But the big thing going for me that became my new normal was just being a drug dealer. And I started losing friends, you know, not just friends as in like people who just didn't want to be around me anymore, but the drugs started to take a lot of people, you know, as they still do these days. And people dropping like flies from it. And so. Did you want to go off to college at all? Did you have aspirations? The only reason I wanted to go to college was for the parties. That was it.

My mother was like, I'm not paying for you to go to college so you can party. It's not going to happen. Would they have paid for college or now? If I had done the right things and stayed in school, like, you know, not been a troublemaker and done the right things, yeah, they might have paid for me to go to college. But, you know, I got to the point, like I said before, where I just spent so much time kicked out of school that I was, you know, I was just. college thing was not going to happen. I mean, I had to do, the only option really left for me

that they gave me was to go to Tech Center, which, you know, I went for media and communications to do the video stuff to write scripts and storyboards, to film our own videos. That was in Randolph, Randolph Tech Center in Vermont. And it was cool because we got to go off school grounds.

We got to, you know, basically just went smoked weed and made her own videos, stupid shit, but it was fun. And I was into that stuff, you know, young, me and my friends, we used to make, because jackass was big in the early 2000. I'm sure you remember. You know, so everybody wanted to do the jackass videos and the stupid shit. God, we did some dumb shit. I mean, Roman candle fights and bottle rocket fights.

We used to take bottle rockets, take the stems off, put them in a circle, facing outwards, blow-torch the center of, like, two of, like, two of. hundred bottle rockets and then we called him ass chasers. And you run in different directions? Exactly. And then we would shoot running candles at each other. I actually had Brandon Novak on the show from the Jackass series. Oh, did you?

Yeah, he was on last year, two years ago, because we're in 25 now. Oh, no, shit. Maybe I saw, I'm sure I did see that. Yeah, he was telling crazy stories about, you know, like fucking giving head for drugs and this and that. Crazy. Yeah, one of my good friends growing up. I never was really into the Jackass stuff, but I would see, like, the

YouTube videos when YouTube was first like becoming a thing and one of my friends was obsessed with all those videos and they would always do crazy stuff. Yeah. Like the razor scooters going down the hill really fast, the dirt bikes, all that. Shopping carts and the ass chasers are fun though and the Roman candles, bro. Yeah, we did that. My parents deck, we'd line up a bunch of them, the bottle rockets and light them, you know, and then I'll take off down the lawn and see who gets hit or who does in or I had this PVC bazooka thing that I'd put the bottle rockets in and I'd try to get my buddies with it. Or we'd, you know, smash each other with the fluorescent light bulbs.

Potato launchers and all that. Yeah, the potato cannons. My buddy had one of those. And, you know, I was a bit of a pyro too. So I was, you know. Self-recleaned pyrope. Yeah. I let a lot of things on fire.

And I got into, you know, making M80s. and all kinds of stuff. I got into the pyrotechnics a little bit, you know, because you can make the flash powder that they, I probably shouldn't even give that tutorial. You ever do SD's rockets? SDs. Yeah, it was called SD's rockets where you, like,

you build your own rocket, and then I had like a little stick. Oh, like the model rockets? Yes, exactly. Yeah, it was like a dynamite stick or whatever that would go in it, and you had the wire that goes up into the fuse. You hit the button, and it shoots in the air, and then it parachutes out. Yeah.

We love those things as kids. Yep. I remember doing those after watching October Sky. I wanted to get into those. Was that what that movie was called? October Sky? About the Rockets? Never saw it.

Yeah, I think it was something like that. Sounds like a James Bond movie, October Sky. Yeah. Yeah, no. So it was, I mean, I was just a troublemaker. That's, I was the class clown. I mean, yeah, everybody laughed at me in school. and that's, you know, another thing I was good at being the class clown.

And once I started getting busted selling drugs at school is when I really started to lack a lot because I was missing a lot of time. I was getting in a lot of fights like I mentioned before. And I went to the tech center to have that hopefully be an option. I didn't last long there. Maybe a couple, maybe like half the year. maybe like half the year I lasted there and got into drugs pretty bad and I went on the run. I had a girlfriend at my house that was on the run.

She was in foster care and I had her hiding out of my house. The state police came and got her. And my mother was just not having the shit that I was doing. And I went on the run, didn't go back to school and I was making city trips. I started out going to Manchester at a young age, city trips, moved up to Hartford, Connecticut, and then the Springfield Mass, and eventually Brooklyn, New York. And, yeah, my only hope for graduating high school was to do adult basic education. I don't know if you know what that is.

That's at night, right? it's uh well they did at night or during the day uh but i went to it i didn't even have to do it for a whole year i mean i was really behind i was a junior at this point i did it like half the year and busted my ass with it and i ended up graduating a year early actually which probably pissed a lot of people off because i graduated from the school i was going to out in williamstown and and i graduated a year early so there's a lot of people that were probably like what the fuck you know This kid, like, fucked off his whole school career. Why are we watching him graduate a year early?

I was the first person of my family to graduate. My father didn't graduate. My mother didn't graduate. So it was a big deal. Like, they wanted me to graduate, and I made it there. I graduated. And pretty much, yeah, I wanted to join the Marines. but what led me to prison shot down that opportunity.

But I, yeah, so I started spending, you know, most of my time selling, you know, I was still selling drugs and hanging out with the wrong people and doing things I shouldn't have been doing, you know. I wasn't a monster, but I sure did some monstrous. things and you know the the I think the one point between 14 and 18 that I actually tried to get my my shit together was I had a girlfriend that became pregnant you know we were 15 16 years old well no there's two two two pregnancies there's one I was 15 me and my my best friend he's like a brother of mine we were messing with the same chick around the same time she ended up pregnant I was like, well, who's the dad, you know?

So we decided, okay, if you're the dad, I'm the godfather. If I'm the dad, you're the godfather. It's one of those things. Baby came out. It wasn't mine. It's my godson. But I had another girl that I started seeing from down in Brattleboro, Vermont. She ended up pregnant.

And we were young, 16 years old, and my parents, my mother, surprised. surprisingly let her move in with us because I kind of preached the well the damage is done thing so you know she ended up moving in with us and you know I got a job started working and and tried to lead the street life to the side because I wanted to do good you know I had a kid on the way and she ended up miscarrying in her second trimester and you know we broke up after that and you know that took a toll on me um you know i was happy that i was going to be a dad and and when that happened it just i don't know i just lost all interest and even doing anything good with myself and um you know i let the boxing go about 17 years old but i was so heavily

involved with these you know with with the bloods and and the the drug deal and and and just that way of living I was fine with that I didn't want to change anything about it I didn't expect to make it the 30 years old I here I am 33 it was just everything was just so appealing to me it was quick easy money and I was good at it so why stop And then I started, I got with a very toxic individual that I spent the next three years off and on with. And I started to, you know, burglarize houses. And, you know, I used to do burglaries like it was going out of style. I mean, every day.

That was my job. During the week, I would, you know, usually between, you know, 10 a.m. and 2 p.m. is when I'd go hit houses every day of the week without fail. Because, you know, most people are at work by 10 o'clock. And then, you know, by the time 2 o'clock comes, they're coming home. Whether they're working 6 to 2s, 7 of 3s, 8 to 4s, 9 to 5s, I utilized those hours and started robbing house. The GLP 1 pill you've been waiting for is now on row. Yep, it's finally here With the same clinically proven ingredient Now in a pill

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For serious side effects and boxed warning associated with GLP ones are these nice neighborhoods or everything from right in in in in berry city to out in the bones you know i call the bones out in the sticks uh you know those were kind of the good ones because there wasn't a lot of people around wasn't a lot of houses around out in sticks you know you got a house every quarter fucking mile so a lot of them like to leave their doors unlocked you didn't have to break in let yourself in because they didn't lock their doors they didn't think there's a reason to um but you know don't get me wrong i would do stuff right in the city right midday you know i i did it for quite a while but

i got at some point i got sick of the the hit or miss of it even though i still had my income from selling drugs, I just, I got sick of the hit or miss. And where things really went wrong for me was intravenous drug use. Once I, once I picked up the needle, I gave my ex, that toxic one, kind of an ultimatum I saw that she was doing it. And I told her, you know, I watched what she was doing. And I was like, if you don't do it for me, I'm going to do it myself. And I might mess this up. So that's where things really start to go wrong. Because once I felt that feeling the first time, and I think I only shot Suboxone.

You know, it was white. It was the white bug. But feeling that feeling, I wanted that again. I'm like, you know, and I never, mind you, I always said I was never going to use a needle. But I did. And, you know, here it is, midnight. And I'm like, we need more money. Like, I need to get more.

I want to do that again. And, you know, the hit or miss, the burglaries wasn't optimal at that time. So I'm like, all right, what can I do for money right now at this time of night? You know, it's after midnight. So I ended up robbing a convenience store because that was pretty much the quickest thing I could think of. There's Cumberland Farms down, you know, the underside of town. So I ended up, you know, going with one of the guns that I had gotten in one of the burglaries. there was this

burglar I liked to do things on my own I didn't do a lot of things with people because just less people, less talking so there was one house that I had spent probably an hour

and trying to get into this fucking gun safe and I ended up with a number of guns out of that so you know I didn't plan on hurting anybody or anything with this robbery but I needed money and I needed it now.

I didn't need it. I wanted it. I wasn't selling a lot of drugs at that time. I was more doing them. And yeah, I went to Cumberland Farms and I figured it'd be one of the night shift people that was in there happened to actually be one of the day shift, people covering a shift.

It was a chick that I talked to a lot. I mean, I had my face covered and everything. I didn't know who it was, but I worked up the balls to go in there. I went in. She was at the coffee pots. I pulled the gun out and told her give me all the money, you know, out of the registers now. Get all the registers.

And, you know, I held her at gunpoint. And I made her empty both the drawers. And she told her give me a cart in the marlbrose. And I said, thank you and left. You said thank you. Yeah, I said thank you. I was polite about it. I said, thank you.

You know, all for a total, not even $200. I robbed this convenience store. How scary is it in that moment pulling off a robbery like that? Like, is your heart racing really fast? Oh, fuck yeah. You know, it felt like I was watching a movie. You know, it was, I had done other things that were similar, you know, like robbing other drug dealers and shit, you know, sticking up people.

And that's the thing like being involved with these people from other cities while I was there. Sometimes I would do dirty work because who's going to expect somebody from Vermont, some white boy from Vermont, to be the one doing this shit here. I never had a worry that I was going to get caught for a fucking thing because the cops also don't go hard for drug dealers. What are you going to do? Call the cops and say somebody just jack my fucking stash. So that's what I stuck. to but when I was in Vermont, a smaller area and a smaller city, you got to be really careful

with what you're doing. So yeah, it was like watching a movie. Once I made the decision, like, okay, now's the time. It was like my body just took over and I was just watching. And yeah, the adrenaline from that, it was wild. I mean, my, I was, the main focus was just don't get caught make it back to the spot. That was it. And I did, you know, and money didn't last long. So I, you know, from, for the next month and a half, spent selling drugs and doing more burglaries and robberies and just, you know, I hadn't done another store yet. I was thinking about. about it, but I also noticed that people were also talking and word was getting around. And what had happened was the place where I had been staying at that time, I had passed out

with a lot of the evidence on the floor and the chick that I was staying with. She took pictures of it. I should have brought my discovery packet. But she took pictures of the gun and the cigarettes and the money. She put my ID in the picture and like really fucks me hard. Why would she do that? Just the asshole, just a miserable bitch. And this wasn't even, nothing had even hit the papers yet.

Like she just took these because she probably assumed I did something. She didn't know what I had done. But, you know, the article came out in the news not too long after. and she took that stuff down there and gave a big long statement. There was, I mean, the amount of people that went and said shit that was just hearsay, it was ridiculous,

but there was all these people I knew that were in my discovery packet, you know, that said all this stuff like they knew for a fact it was me. It ain't know shit. I mean, yeah, it was me, but they didn't know that. And, you know, so I had gotten rolled

on, unfortunately, that um in 2010 it was 2010 i pulled it off um winter time and a month and a half later is when they ended up rolling on me for that and you know i'd had some situations before where you know i was at places where people came to raid but i managed to get out where there was a window or a door that led somewhere else and i i had had I was, remember I was at the old Dunkin' Donuts by the courthouse where it used to be in Barry. And I was standing there with, well, before I get to this, so that same day, well, the day before my buddy had robbed his cousin of $1,000, took it out of his top dresser drawer. And, you know, came to buy some shit and wanted to buy my clock that I had.

and, you know, we were kind of partying and whatever the night before. And that day, that next morning, his cousin found out he was at my house, so he brought somebody else with him and they came in my basement door where my bedroom was and, like, you know, went straight for him, started beating the shit out of him.

And I had sold him the Glock. I still had it under my couch, but he wanted to buy it. I sold it to him. And his cousin, and asked him for the money, you know, he was beating the shit out of him pretty good. And he gave him what he had for the money. He said, where's the rest of it? And he's like, Dylan's got it. I'm like, you know what I had had what he gave me for the gun. And once they turned to me,

I'm like, all right, you know, so they asked me for the money. It was in my wallet underneath my couch. I had to pull out sofa couch thing in my room. And I looked under the couch and And it's like, you know, one of them fucking ads you see for them games where it stops and you got like, you know, you can click on this choice or that choice. And because I had the gun here, I had the wallet here. I'm like, all right. So, you know, my first instinct is to grab the gun and just shoot these motherfuckers because they're in my house. You know, I have every right. Nothing against a stolen fucking firearm.

And, you know, I contemplated. it in my head. Everything went quick. It was slow in my head, but it was quick thinking, but I decided to just give the money back. And, you know, then my buddy's cousin punched him one more time and said, you got 24 hours to get me the rest of the money. So after that happened, he had left and he was supposed to go. I was at my parents' house at this point in Williamstown. This wasn't where I was staying full time. At that point, I was staying with my friends, Tasha, and Kyle. Well, Kyle wasn't there anymore, but my friend Tasha down on Granite Street and Barry. I said, well, I'm not selling you this gun because now the money's gone. I had to get the money back. So he was all

worried they were going to be waiting for him and catch him down the road somewhere. So he asked if he could borrow it. I lent it to him, told him to bring it to Tashas. So you better leave it there like don't fuck me over on this because everybody's shitbags from where i'm from and you know i went back to sleep didn't think anything of it i expected when i got to town he would have left it there and all that you know everything so i am at dunkin donuts on the day i get busted and well the day they smoked me for my armed robbery i say smoked you know don't get it twisted and I know I've gotten some backlash and people like oh don't be using smoked for you know smoked means you got killed this and that no I got smoked it was game over for me like I was I got smoked

on that robbery I was standing at Dunkin Donuts with people I had just gone to the bathroom and shot up and I come outside and there's cops over here there's cops over here there's some more getting ready to pull in and I said to the people I'm with, I was like, I have a bad feeling right now. The guy's like, you know, he's like, don't worry, you didn't do anything wrong. We're just standing here and like, he doesn't know what the fuck I've been doing. Next thing I know, cops pulling from all directions, guns out,

got me on my face within, you know, no time. So I wasn't about to fight with him. We weren't about to run. There was fucking, they had canine units. I wasn't getting bitten. ass you know i wasn't i wasn't trying to do all that so so they take me down to the station well before that i'm sitting in the i'm sitting in the cruiser they're dumping out my backpack dump out all the syringes everybody's seeing what i got it was just completely embarrassed the

fuck out of me you know because i was trying to keep that shit secret from people nobody wants people knowing that they're injecting shit especially you know i was 18 years old i was young It wasn't my first running with the law. I'd had previous sentences I had completed for selling drugs because I got knocked at school at 15 selling individual dime bags of weed. And then the next year, for my sophomore year, I got busted selling pills. and marijuana.

And I took off from the school and I got caught. And they came and they charged me with possession of marijuana, possession of narcotics and selling and dispensing on school property, which was a felony. And they were charging me as an adult

because I was 16. And I was a little peckerhead telling him get the fuck out of my house. Fuck you. My dad's telling me not to say anything. And so I had had previous runs with that. They did, that was my like one diversion, my one ticket, like the diversion card thing that I had gotten for that. I still had restrictions and stuff and things I had to do community service or whatever.

But yeah, so I'm sitting in the cruiser. They got me, I don't know what I'm picked up for. And I hear on the scanners that they're at my place. on Granite Street, I had been staying. And they said, it looks like the house is occupied. We're gonna go in now. And I'm like, fuck. It's like they're raiding the house.

Like, they're about to raid the apartment. They're gonna find the fucking gun. Like, that was my biggest worry. They were about to find this fucking stolen firearm. Little did I know, my buddy burned me and didn't go bring the gun back. And that's something, that's the only person that's burned me

that I've actually thanked. but yeah they raided the place flipped it upside down didn't find what they were looking for but I'm down at the station and you know the detective comes in he's talking to me you know saying how we know that you're using drugs

and people sometimes do stupid things for money and sometimes they go out car shopping and whatever and I'm thinking are you kidding me like this dude's coming at me I mean, because of some measly car shopping shit that I've done. You know, we used to do that shit, too, when I was younger car shop, and everybody left their cars unlocked. A big thing back then was the GPS's and the fucking, you know,

he always got cool shit from people's cars. So I'm thinking it's something small, you know, he's going on and on. And then some people might take a bad turn to decide to do some more serious things like Robb Cumberland Farms. And I'm like, yeah you think I did that too huh I'm like being all cocky thinking I can outsmart these bricks and

I was like yeah I know a lot of people thought that was me and the detective he's like I know it was you you know and he starts bringing in all this evidence which at the time I didn't know their evidence was shit you know he had said that I

I got picked out in a photo lineup. And we had these statements from these people and this and that. And I wasn't really paying attention. I was in the twilight zone like, I'm fucked, you know, like I'm screwed. And I figured the best thing to do because he was giving me the spiel like, you know, a hand on my arm, like, just come clean. You know, we know you have a drug problem. You're not a menace.

You're not a monster. You did it to support your habit. Just admit your guilt. we will help you through this will be there for you through the court process we'll go to bat for you and so i decided yeah you know i have a drug problem i did this to support my habit it was a broken bibby gun it wasn't even a real gun you know i wasn't going to hurt anybody and told them where i threw the broken baby gun and which wasn't it was just a fake story whatever i figured if it's a BB gun I get less time.

You know, they don't give a shit. You don't get caught with a firearm. Doesn't matter what it was. If you don't get caught, it's a firearm, it's a fucking armed robbery. And the armed robbery from a regular robbery steps it up. You got mandatory minimums with armed shit. So at that point, I knew I was screwed, kind of accepted it. And, you know, here I am 18 years old, landing in prison.

The big boy jails. I never went to Juvie. How much time did they give you for that? So I ended up with a three to seven that they suspended all except for. It started out with like, all right, so I got, when I got picked up, I went in, I was in for whatever, three, four months. and then I got bailed out My grandmother passed away And my mother bailed me out

I had to go straight to rehab from jail And You know rehab I've been a rehab Fucking 12, 13 times Over the years You know, it used to be a couple months days When I was adolescent

I went as adolescent twice To this rehabs a lockdown facility, like alarms on the doors, you can't leave, you run, the cops coming for you, type shit. I had gone there a couple times prior to that, but I got bailed out to go to rehab. It was a straight shot's rehab from the jail. Completed the program, got out, and I spent the next, I'd say probably at least a year, maybe more between the time I got bailed out and the time I got sentenced and you think in that time I'd be

on my A game on my best behavior I wasn't at all there was no good behavior my way um I managed to not get put back in between well no I went back once because I got caught past curfew I got caught out past curfew, but they didn't hold me long because I was out of gas and I needed to get gas. That wasn't the real reason I was late, but I had the gas cans in my car and it was a good story, whatever. I hadn't gone back since. So, you know, after I saw the judge and everything, they sent me back out. And do you want the stories of the in-between from when I got bailed out when I went back first or do you want to know like just the time i did first up to you man whatever you're comfortable sharing so i mean i guess so all in all all in all the thing is with the suspended

sentence you do the time that they set and then if you reoffend they can send you back to do the rest of your minimum or the rest of the fucking time you've got however much time they want but it's open-ended when you're on a high-risk probation like that you know what furlough is yeah so we have furlough um in vermont and fs u go around check on you i was on high-risk probation um so you know i got checked up on and and all that stuff you know they checked up on me i was on an ankle monitor a few times when i got out between the times it's hard to say all in all um but the thing with it the thing with the the thing with the the open-ended sentences like that is you don't have an end date so it's kind of like when they

expect you to fail they're going to stick you on a type of sentence like that because they're like okay well we can stay fucking with him the rest of his life if we want you know it might have been a three to seven years suspended sentence, you know, but it didn't mean that after the seven years I was going to be done. It just meant that was the sentence. I'm on probation until further order of court. And I went back for my sentencing to spend a few more months to make the six month. I think it was a six month mark. And I got out, but I never said. stayed out very long. I never went very long without reoffending. I re-wracked up over the course of my time with DOC, I racked up like, I don't know, eight or nine violations that I went back for every time.

You know, it was usually, you know, they give you sanctions, give you a 60-day sanction, 30-day sanction, maybe 90-day sanction, whatever. And then in between all these sanctions, I also had all these rehab stays that I had. And, you know, I was institutionalized by the time I was 18 years old, just between the rehab stays I had had prior to that and being in when I first got put in. And, you know, it didn't do anything for me

except make me a better criminal going in. It didn't. Life was good in there after I detoxed, you know, when I initially went. All my friends were there that I grew up with. I mean, because we were all fuck-ups and we were all doing illegal shit. We were all in there around the same time when I initially got put in. So there really wasn't anything bad about it. I mean, yeah, you had your fights, you had your people you had to worry about, you know,

People like strong-arm people take your shit, whatever. There's not a lot of stabbing's going on in the Vermont jails or cuttings, you know, especially since they took the Bick razors off commissary. Believe it or not, there is a point in time you could order razors off commissary. We have those in the feds. Did you? Yeah, but those, so the ironic part is the ones on the commissary were better to shave with, but the state-issued ones that they give you,

the orange ones were easier to pop the blade out because the Bick-Rasers weren't that great to pop the ore was harder. Yeah. But the state issued ones, if you break off like the end plastic, the guard on it, it's a single blade. That's what people would use to cut vegetables or as a weapon.

Yeah. So it's ironic that what they give you for free is the weapon and what they sell you on commissary is not the weapon. Yeah, no. There was, they didn't stay on commissary long. Was there a lot of bloods in that prison?

I mean, you you got some here and there because a lot of the people that are up here selling drug, not here but in Vermont selling drugs eventually they get caught, they get greedy and end up in the jails. So you had bloods, you had

crips, I mean, I ended up had a fucking prick cellmate that was a H-ray gangster crypt. And yeah, we didn't... See, the thing is, Vermont's not a war zone like

that. You don't, You're not worried about your ops. You're not. It's kind of like, I want to say it's like it's almost neutral. I mean, I have friends. I have friends that are crips. I mean, there's not the war zones, the oppositions going on like there is in the cities. It's a lot of the gang members up here, up here selling drugs.

And, you know, kind of like how things are different now. You've got umbrella organizations that have bloods and, crypts in the same in the same gangs. You've got woo's and shoes in New York that had their umbrella organizations. They have bloods, crips, they have different gang members that are supposed to be ops in the same fucking gangs. It's different. You know, but you didn't have like a lot of the, there wasn't a lot of issues over gang politics and shit in there. And Vermont jails are not politics.

just like we don't have we don't have any Fed pens in Vermont we have one of the prisons has a federal detainer unit if you get fed charges you go to that unit until they take you off to wherever I don't know if they're still sending people to Raybrook or what

for classifications and all that stuff I don't know where you went but yeah I knew guys I went to Raybrook Yeah Or Cheshire Or Cheshire Or Cumberland I think

Cumberland Yep You let see They had a camp there too Guys would go too Yeah Yep Cumberland

That's Maryland Right I think so That's out near you right Maryland FCI Maryland down in

No Maryland is down By like Delaware New Jersey and shit one of my good buddies was down there for a while for kind of took a bid for me

but yeah we don't have Fed pens in Vermont and we don't have counties and you know how like a lot of states you got your county jails and then you got your state jails and you fed jails Vermont doesn't have counties they have regionals they don't have the counties and states they have the regional jails. We have six correctional facilities in Vermont. One in Newport, one in St.

Albans, one in Burlington, St. John'sbury, did I say Springfield yet? Springfield and Rutland. And they're regional. Basically, whatever your region is, it's usually multiple counties. You go to that jail and some jails you're there for shorter stays or if you have longer stays they send you to one of the other ones that houses people for longer periods of time or if you get sentenced to a lot of time we have contracts with out-of-state facilities right now you know it used to be Kentucky and then it was i think greenfield mass there was one um that we were contracting with and then there was Arizona and that was the one

I was getting threatened to go out to and I didn't want to go out there because they were sending people out to this fucking tent city fucking place in Arizona where you're living in the desert in these tents and now it's Mississippi somewhere in Mississippi. I've heard

it's a shit hole but so yeah if you get a lot of time you're getting shipped out of state basically but so these regional house everybody from people violating their probation to murderers. You got everybody in there. So it's not just as simple as being in county and going to the state prison.

So you see a lot of shit. But like I said, most of its fights, strong arm, robberies. A couple people got cut over some dumb shit, ramen noodles and car games. It's stupid shit. know how it is things are different in there but um how much time did you end up serving total all in all all in all i probably had between all my stays combined and all my time served combined made a little over two years um i didn't serve i didn't have to serve the whole three years on my sentence. I also, like I said, I also had a lot of stays in rehabs. The first two stays I had

were a couple months each and then the rehab stays short into a month stays and then three weeks days and now they're two weeks days, which I think is fucking bullshit. I mean, people are just barely detoxing off of that, you know, and then you're sending them back out on the street and wondering why it's the same people coming back. But, you know, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, you know, I always, I don't want to say that I didn't want another life, but I tried. Part of me wanted it. So usually I would ask to get my rehab stays extended to as far as I could get them extended to.

When they were three or two weeks, I'd get them extended to a month, five weeks, six weeks. Doing time or being a facilities didn't bother me. You know, so it was more of a home for me than anything else ever was. Really, that's just a sad reality of it. A lot of people wouldn't understand that I haven't done time and haven't been through the system, but I had a place for myself in prison. I had a place for myself in these rehabs. I knew people, I knew everybody.

I was well respected in there, especially being my regional, was all people I knew. Yeah, I had issues with some people. You're going to have that in prison. It's going to happen. But I was, the reason I say I was institutionalized by 18 is because I had already done the rehab thing multiple times and I had spent, you know, these months in this prison with all my buddies that I grew up with. It was, we didn't have any responsibilities. We played cards, took people shit you know or you know

making stews football pools everything was genuine you know none of us were strung out on drugs you know we weren't

paying attention to things we shouldn't have been it's like it's almost like we had those childhood friendships back you know and that's what I try

to explain to people is in there you know you get your real friends back that you don't have in the streets, you know, because all you have to do is spend time with each other and reminisce. And it's, you know, my mother used to get pissed off at me.

We'd be on the phone and I'd be laughing and joking about this, talking to my dad about that. My mother would get pissed off. She'd be like, you know, it's not supposed to be fun. You know, you're supposed to be doing time. You're not supposed to be having a good time in there. It's like, well, I'm not going to make my time miserable, you know. And it was, I,

just, I ended up getting in such a pattern of going back and forth that that was my life. And I spent, I ended up spending more time in, in, you know, behind walls and behind bars in the same familiar place that then I did at any one single place other than my parents when I was growing up as a kid, but I was out at a young age. You know, I was out doing my own thing, um, 15 years old. that was moved out by 17. You know, I had had a couple places I stayed at or apartments that I had short term,

but when I got locked up, it was always the same thing. You know, that was my home away from home, but my home. I had a place, I didn't care how long I had to do. I still miss it for fuck sakes, you know. It's been 10 years since I've been, I've been in a prison. It's been 10 years and I still

sometimes I still feel like it's been too long since I've been there. But I mean, I'm not going to go reoffend just to go back but it takes a while once you're in the system and in the cycle and going back and forth doing the same things. It's hard to break free from that. And that's why there's so many issues because so many people get used to that cycle. and it becomes just a fucking game.

And that's what they're used to. And that's what I got used to. What's helped you stay on track over these past 10 years? Well, I haven't been on track for 10 years, the whole 10 years. I haven't been in prison for 10 years. But I've been trying your best. I should have been. There's many things I should have done.

or I should have gone for one thing I was going to touch on was how much time do we have? You keep rolling? So another thing that really fucked with me like I was going to talk about before we got into how much time I did was

while I was on bail in 2011 I was still doing dumb shit, home invasions, robbing dealers, and selling drugs. And I had a friend. He was one of my best friends at the time. I don't talk about this much. I really just opened up about it in 2023 the last time. I got clean.

And, you know, we hung out a lot and, you know, I was close to his kid and his mom. And, you know, we were in, we had gotten done with IOP. You know, IOP is intensive outpatient. Usually when you leave a rehab, you got to do intensive outpatient, which is three times a week, three hours per session where you've got groups of people that are the same boat as you. that are all, you know, drug addicts or just came from jail, rehab. And you do that.

And then after 18 sessions of that, you go to a weekly relapse prevention group. And we were in a group together. And, you know, it was one day a week. We knew when our drug tests were and everything. So we knew, okay, well, Thursday or Friday, what was it? Thursday was our group.

So we knew that. once Thursday came we got Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday to do what we want to do know do our coke and shit and clean out the rest of the week and still piss clean come group time and um so j I'll just call him jay um you know he didn't really have a lot of connects I supplied him with his stuff and And we got high together, but we were friends. And he used to go take care of this woman out like Hyde Park area, this old woman. He'd go just take care of her house for the weekend and like be of assistance to her and stuff.

And usually when he'd go out there, I'd send him with a few grams or whatever for him to do while he was gone. and it was July of 2011. He used to borrow this old man's car to go out there because he didn't have a car. And when he got back that Sunday, we were supposed to take his son to the movies. And I had talked with him up through Saturday and stuff and Sunday came.

And I couldn't get a hold of him and he wasn't talking. And we had plans to take his son to the movie. and I ended up getting a call from the guy whose car that he would borrow. And he said that Jay was found dead at that old woman's house that morning. And, you know, he overdosed. He had diabetes as well. well, you know, I mean, he went at the stage where he was losing limbs or nothing of that, but, you know, he had an excuse as to why he had syringes and everything.

Nobody thought anything of it. But, you know, when he was found dead, you know, that really, I felt really responsible for that. And I am responsible for that, you know. The distribution with death resulting charges weren't really a thing in 2011 yet. You weren't seeing them. I don't know if you guys have those charges here. You guys have those charges here? I'm not sure.

Where like somebody sells to somebody, they die from their stuff, the person gets hit with like a sale with death resulting type shit. Yeah, that happens a lot. Yeah, it happens a lot these days. They didn't really have that back then. But, you know, that was one of my best friends, and I took that really hard. And, you know, it bothered me, you know, it was an accidental thing, but it, you know, I didn't mean to at all. But it bothered me more than the occasion when I was a teenager with that guy, would, you know, me protecting my friend, you know, way more.

I still struggle with it, you know, to this day because he was, you know, he was a really good guy and, you know, a great dad never let his addiction get in the way of that. And, you know, 33 years old, same age I am now, you know, drops dead. And, yeah, I was, I was pretty fucked up over that. I had to check myself in a rehab. and, you know, I talked about it in there a little bit, and it was hard. It was really hard for me to, I still haven't worked all the way through that.

You know, his mother came to see me in rehab, and, you know, she had given me a bunch of his stuff when he passed away and stuff, because I was his best friend. and, you know, just his mother's a church goer and, you know, she was holding it together, but just it was hard, you know, when she came to see me in rehab, her sitting there saying, like, I don't know what was going on with him, you know, the last few months. He got really skinny and dropped a lot of weight and was acting different.

And, you know, I knew why, you know, but it was hard for me to sit across the table from his mother, you know, knowing that I was at fault. I was, you know, responsible for her son not being here anymore and her coming there to visit me because I'm his best friend. And, you know, it's hard. I've thought about, you know, I just recently reconnected with his son. It's crazy. His son looks just like him.

I've thought about coming clean with them, but I don't know. I don't, you know, there's certain things that, you know, now I want to, you know, now I want to, you know, do right and try to make amends with certain things. but there's also certain things that I feel like I can't because I'd incriminate myself or, you know, fuck up the rest of my own life if I did. And it's a hard position, you know, it's a hard thing. And, yeah, so it's... That situation was really hard for me, you know,

that had happened. I'd lost some other people, in 2011 and I was just doing crazy shit just lost my fucking mind and you know we had another buddy that got killed over a drug dad in the night of his candlelight

you know we go out and rob these dealers and go out there my buddy had his little sign-off shotgun and the same buddy I actually protected saved

back in back when we were kids and you know I told them not to fucking don't be shooting anybody and I know how the fuck

you know things get don't you know this needs to go smooth we're in and out we get the fucking money that's it

and there was you know we thought we knew it was only supposed to be the one person there and it was

you know when things can go wrong they sometimes do and you know we went in and and you know I'm demanding the the money and the drugs and shit and the next thing you know we hear a from the fucking bedroom you know off of the living room we didn't expect anybody else to be there and the person's son was there this big ogre fucking big ass dude with a big ass 12 gauge and And my buddy kind of put his gun in his face, and we're all messed up or whatever.

And he had just woken up. He kind of seemed like he wasn't sure if it was the cops or not. So he almost like went to put the shotgun down. Then he brought it back up, and that's where everything went out the fucking window. Shots start fucking going off. And it was at that point, it was fuck the drugs, fuck the money, like let's get the fuck out of here before somebody ends up dead.

My buddy had fucking buckshot riddle through his backpack. Like it was a close call. It was, you know, I had another buddy of mine that was the getaway driver. And my other buddy hands me the shotgun. I sat on the passenger side door. Like I put the window down making sure because the guy comes chasing after us in the truck. And I couldn't let him get too close. the vehicle because I don't know I'm getting the fucking license plate I wasn't going to kill him but

you know I'd either shoot his tire out or his engine luckily my buddy got us away in time but you know I just regardless of the the fucking me being out on bail for armed robbery you know it didn't change anything for me I was still doing the same shit you know but in this time my discovery packet had also come out and come to find out had I not confessed, I would have walked on that armed robbery. The only thing that held it was my confession. That was it. The cops, I didn't even notice the six-person lineup, they show the cashier,

had two different mugshots of mine in there from previous arrests. One, when I was junked out, you know, strung out on drugs. The other one when I was clean, just gotten out and out of rehab. So they looked like two different people, but they put my name under one and put a different name under the other. And there was a whole list, I wish I had brought the discovery packet, like A through X, the things that the cops and the detective did wrong on this case. You know, like for instance, they were supposed to just detain me and search my person and my property looking for certain things that were used in the robbery. They didn't do that. Yes, they detained me, but they also, they arrested me,

they read me my rights, brought me down to the fucking station, and did the whole nine. And the multiple photos in the photo lineup. There was just so much, you know, one of the cops got suspended for, what was it, like three months? Because of the corners he cut and the things he did in the case. And, you know, to learn that, To learn that I would have walked had I not confessed was a slap in the dick, you know.

But, you know, people ask me today if I could go back and do things different. You know, would I? And I wouldn't. I wouldn't do anything different. I would have left everything the same because I wouldn't have the life that I had now. things were any different um i mean yeah it sucked that i got stuck with with the armed robbery on my on my record you know and they were in the beginning they were throwing out crazy offers to me like i think my first offer was um like an 11 to 15 um the second offer was like a 7 to 13 or some shit

and i was like the fuck is this man like it says like i'm expecting like i'm expecting like maybe a two to five or something. And I'm seeing football numbers. I'm like, what the fuck? And I think after the discovery packet came out, then they went down a little bit on their shit. Even though they knew they had me because of my confession, I don't know if that played a role in it or not.

But I had actually thought that I was pleading guilty to a two to five to serve instead of three to seven and get credit for time served. And I would have got a six-month pre-approved for a low window. and that would have been that. And, you know, during the sentencing, the judge decided to do the three to seven and do a suspended type of sentence.

And I ended up on, you know, with DOC for the next seven years. You know, but that ruined, that armed robbery ruined a lot of my opportunities. Like I said, I wanted to join the Marines. Once I got that, they're like, nope, we can overlook certain things. We can't overlook your armed robbery. And like jobs, like trying to get a job, you know, with an armed robbery on my record was, I couldn't get any good jobs anywhere. Nobody wanted to hire me.

Are you kidding me? So my go-to, like I said earlier, was to just go. go back to selling drugs every time. And that's the route I took. You know, I always had the, I always had my people to fall back on, um, to, uh, to get me back up. And it was the same story every time, you know, I'd sell drugs for a while, but eventually I started doing them and was back in, back locked up and back doing the

re-empt. It was just, it was a constant cycle for me, constant cycle. And every time I went in, you know, like, I knew when I was going to go in because I knew when I was getting pulled into my PO's office, I knew I was getting piss tested, I knew I was going to be dirty,

so I always went loaded. I always went loaded. And everybody loved it when I got to prison, into the jail because they knew I was coming, locked and loaded with shit. You know, back then, though,

we also had, you know, in Kentucky you could smoke back then. So when the Kentucky transport came back, They were all loaded with pouches of tobacco. So like the Kentucky transport days were awesome. But no, I managed to get stuff in with me pretty much every time, you know, whether it was, you know, tobacco was the big thing. Suboxone was the big thing. I mean, I don't know what they were going for when you were in, but these fucking Suboxin strips that you get for,

five, ten bucks on the street, you're selling for 150 bucks in there. They're going for $15, $20 a milligram, you know, and it's like a half a milligram. And it's just like, I remember my first few times after, you know, initially going in my first when I got sentenced in the first few times after, you know, I managed to get a lot of shit in with me and, you know, I was set when I got in there. But I got, you know, the C-Os ain't stupid. They're not stupid. They know, you know, somebody just gets in here.

They ain't here not even fucking 48 hours, and they got a whole goddamn store in their cell. You know, they're not stupid. So, you know, the last few times that I had gone in, you know, I knew what to expect at that point. You know, I knew I was going to get shaken down. You know, I didn't even take anything out of my fucking ass. until after I got shaken down about two or three times

because they knew who I was, they knew what I was about and what usually happened. Because I had, I mean, it was stupid in there. People feigning for that shit. I had lines out of my cell door. People would come up and knock on the glass and hold up fingers for how many cigarettes they wanted. It was fucking ridiculous.

And I got, my whole desk is lined with shit. You know, because I slept under the desk. I don't know how they did it. when you were in, but we are overpopulated in Vermont. It's only supposed to be two people per cell. They stuck three in each cell, you know, two on the bunks, one under the desk. Or by the toilet, if they couldn't fit under the desk, because some units were smaller cells than others.

But, you know, I'd get in there, people would be excited that I had stuff, but I'd tell them, you know, after we'd get shaking down the first time, be like, don't even fix your shit, you know. we got about two more coming before we can do anything just leave your shit they're coming back sometimes they'd pull the okey-doke

they'd come shake you down and then wait so you're asleep three hours later and then come shake you down again thinking that your guards let down after the third shake down then I'd take the shit out but there's one time um

I didn't do a lot of whole time only whole time is after I got in the fight with that eight tray and then I was in the hall another time and I had a pouch of tobacco with me. I was doing weekends actually. One of my sanctions they gave me, they let me do it in weekends,

just a lot of weekends, but I used to bring in tobacco and bupe with me. And one of the times I was down back in the hall because you did your weekends in the box. And I'm down there, I roll up my first cigarette, and I'm smoking it, and I hear the keys. I hear the keys coming.

I'm like, fuck, I'm duff the shit out. I'm like trying to hide it behind the toilet paper, and, you know, sell myself, act like I'm taking a nap. And it was, the CEO happened to be in there with somebody that I grew up with. That was a CEO, somebody that I grew up with. We played sports together and shit. So you're running out of closet space.

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You know what dry cell is? So dry cell, if they think that you got shit in your ass or you got slugs that you swallowed, they stick you in a cell with a light on 24-7, just a mattress, they don't give you a blanket, nothing, you shit in a bucket. You got to stay in there 72 hours. You got to shit three times for them. If your 72 hours is up and they want to keep you in there longer, though, we know it. You stay in there until they're satisfied that you don't have anything in your body.

And they dig through your shit to try to find whatever you brought in. So he comes up to the fucking cell. He's like, Riley, want to go to dry cell? I was like, what are you talking about? He's like, don't fucking play stupid with me. You're the only one down back here right now. Where's your shit? I was like, fuck.

And I had it stuffed in my pillow because the, you know, the pillows or the mattresses were like good hiding spots. You know, like hide tattoo guns, hide fucking whatever in there. And a lot of times they wouldn't find it. So I threw in my pillow. He tore that motherfucker apart.

He still didn't find it. And he's like, so you want to go to dry cell? And I was like, no, it's in the fucking pillow, bro. Like, I had to find it for him. And he's like, was this? in your ass and I was like I'm not answering that and

I mean he put me in dry cell for like two hours and then you know whatever just to be a dick and then he put me in the other hole because we had two segregation or we had two holes

we had echo unit which was less security um you know like you had you had a desk you had um Usually there was two of you in there at a time. You got, you know, it was 23 and 1.

And then they had Foxtrot, which had cameras in yourselves. You didn't have a desk so that you couldn't hang yourself from your desk. It was they controlled. You couldn't flush your toilet. They flushed your toilet for you, you know, so you couldn't flush anything. And that's the way it was in the units, too, the last few times that I had went. They had programmed the toilet. to be able to only flush a certain amount of times per hour.

And whenever they come for shakedowns, they shut them fuckers off so that you couldn't flush anything. And there was one time that they did a whole unit shakedown. Like a, well, not the whole unit. They went from unit to unit. They brought in all these cadets and these dogs and everything. And I had had a fuck ton of bute that I had had. Because back then, you know,

before they knew about the man pouch trick, you know, the man pouch in your briefs. It's got that little pocketed area. I used to take suboxin strips and tear them in the little squares and put them in there because they take your boxers and they do this shit with them

and feel if there's anything in there, they're not going to feel those. So that's how I used to get them back. And I'd keep them in the dirty laundry because nobody wants to go digging through dirty fucking underwear when they shake you down. Or I'd have little things like

under my desk, You know, if I was on the floor, the wall, I'd draw squares of a pencil with the white paint. And I'd fold up all the milligrams, all the strips and a piece of paper, and I'd tuck it into the desk where it just looked like squares that were shaped like a fucking upside down pyramid. And you couldn't tell that there was a piece of paper there. It just looked like a drawing. Or I'd peel paint off the wall. and put it, because sometimes with the concrete walls,

you've got the little divvits, the little holes. You know what I'm talking about? Like, where concrete didn't settle right, and there'd be, even if it was just the tiniest little hole, but you could put shit in there and then take the paint and you lick your fingers, you put saliva on the wall, and you put the paint over it, and it looks like there's not a hole there.

Wow, that's smart. Yeah, no, there's, you get it. You get, like, your ingenuity level is through the roof in jail, you know. Like, people like us would make great COs because we know all the tricks. But I got away with, I mean, well, no, I did the rest of my weekends in Fox Trot after that, and I didn't bring anything with me after that. But he could have really royally fucked me. He could have got me for introduction charges and whatever else.

you know, he gave me a break because we knew each other. How did you finally get clean? So how I finally got clean was my wife now was my best friend at the time that I went in my last time back in 2015. Because what had happened with that, was I was about to get my probation revoked, and they were going to make me just do my seven-year sentence. And I was nodding out doing work crew, and FSU had taken me to see my PO.

And I was with my kid's mother, my daughter's mother at the time. And, you know, we were friends with my... my wife now and who she was with at the time. But me and my kid's mother were kind of on our way out the door of each other because our relationship just became about the drug world. And it wasn't what it was in the beginning. And so I had gone to see that my PO that last time. She's like, I'm done.

We're not doing this anymore. We're prolonging the inevitable. You have court tomorrow. And in my head, I'm like, fuck, I. do you know i'm not going to court tomorrow and i i didn't show up the court the next day i said fuck it if i'm going to do my time catch me if you can and i did so i went on the run for a while um you know but my wife you know being friends like we had just hit it off right off the bat i mean we knew who each other were but it's like sometimes you just meet people people come into your

life and it's like you were always meant to meet that person and she always saw something in me that i i couldn't see in myself um i didn't want to see it in myself i i was set in my ways i didn't want to live any other way um you know i mean i started to i guess you know at the end of like my when things were at the peak, at the worst, you know, with all the weight that we were moving, me and my Brooklyn people, you know, because I spend a lot of time out in East New York, Brooklyn. I don't know if you know about East New York or, you know,

pink houses, Louise H. Pinkhouse is calling them their Pinky Projects. It's out of East New York's just bad as Brownsville. It's a fucking war zone out there. It's bad. but I mean we were supplying the whole fucking state of Vermont and then some I mean we were lining the car back

sent back to New York every week with 120, $150,000 every week things got sketchy though because the cops were watching I tell that to everybody if you think you're selling drugs and you think the cops don't know what you're doing

you're stupid it's all about staying a step ahead of them but it got it really got to a sketchy point where couldn't fucking sleep you know constantly having to worry about who's going to try to rob you or who's going to you know whether the cops are going to roll in your place you know we knew the feds were watching us and like find out later down the road that we had people coming in wearing wires with mark bills and all this shit i had people like i mentioned before i had a good buddy of mine that took a hit for me he got caught on the way back with my people um and they got smoked um the feds caught him coming off the greyhound and been watching caught him with a bunch of work

caught him with a bunch of dope and uh he took a five year bid and didn't didn't give me up you know was him and my my people so i was grateful for that but it just you know we were dealing with was so much shit that if we had gotten caught at that time, like, you know, for Vermont, that was a lot of shit. It's a lot of work. They would have made examples out of us. You know, well, depending on who it was. You know, feds, it's a little different than state. You know, what's a lot for state isn't always a lot for Fed, you know, because Fed deals with everything, whatever, 100 grams plus. and, you know, my wife, who was my friend at the time, really started, you know,

she started to get me to start thinking different about things. And the night I got caught, when I finally got caught, you know, my daughter had been taken. I had been on the run for four or five months. you know DCF it placed my daughter with my parents because I was a fugitive from justice and I had her in my care and you know all the drug shit and stuff and it wasn't a good place for my daughter to be you know it's a good thing for her to go to with my parents but the night I got busted the night I got picked up they did a a suite in Vermont where they rounded up, like, listed, you know, people with listed offense like violent offenders with outstanding, you know, warrants and stuff.

I had a failure to appear. I had a minimis warrant, which means I owed the state time and all that stuff. And, you know, the cops stopped me and my daughter's mother while we were walking, and I didn't think he knew who I was, but once he said my name and told me to get on the ground, I went to go get on the ground, but I was like, fuck. Like, if I go away, I'm going away for a while. So it's either run or don't.

So I pulled the selfish move, and I popped up off the ground before more units arrived, and I put my daughter's mother between me and the cop, because I knew he wouldn't shoot. with her in the way. I thought he was going to shoot because he had his gun on me. And while I'm running, you know, he's yelling, telling, stop. He's like, don't make me do this. And like, everything slowed down. I thought he was going to shoot me, you know, because they always knew that I was known to carry a gun, and they were worried that they were going to try using some excuse, like something had

just happened where somebody pulled the gun. And it just was a bad situation. And I ran, I got away from him, but as soon as I started running, I see blue lights everywhere, and they were all waiting for me down there. So I think I was set up by the person who called me to go down there. And, I mean, I tried getting away from them, and they were just, by the time I was out of energy, they were coming down both sides of the street from both directions, and I was just walking, they suplexed me and fucking George Floyded me. I thought I was going to die.

It was the last time I ended up going in And I thought I was in for the long haul I thought I was going down to Arizona And my P.O actually went to bat for me And I ended up getting lucky and I got another shot. I got treatment court. You know what treatment court is? Yeah.

I got treatment court for the violations, not for the robbery. They weren't going to let me do treatment court. I never qualified for treatment court with my armed robbery. because of the, you know, being a list of offense, they weren't going to expunge that shit. But they told me, you know, you complete treatment court,

will let you off of DOC supervision, and, you know, your violations get expunged. I'm not expunging you're on robbery, but you'll be off a DOC, or if you fail and get your door B, you serve the rest of your time. I still had a lot of fucking time to serve. I still had at least five fucking years to serve.

And so they did not expect me to make that. And nobody had really graduated that program yet. It was hard to complete that program. But when I got out and let me out, I went back to rehab again, get out. I was on an ankle monitor on house arrest, on the GPS. And I had just broken up with my kid's mother and my wife had just broken up with her man and she had, I originally moved in

with my cousin, um, but he just, he was such a hardcore drinker in his house as a fucking pig, so I couldn't stay there, you know, he, he's not with us anymore. He died from his alcoholism, but he, uh, I ended up staying with my wife and we got together shortly after that. June of 2015. We've been together ever since. And I relapsed, you know, shortly after moving in with her, went back to rehab again. And I ended up staying clean for 13 months.

And, you know, same story. Every time I went back to selling the drugs again. And, um, 2016 was a hard year. You know, lost a lot of people. Lost a lot of people. Lost a lot of people. Lost. You know.

So just, it was, it was a hard year. And I use that as an excuse to just run fucking wild. You know, I went back getting high again. And I struggled for the next two years until 2018. and I ended up overdosing one of my overdoses I had in 2018 and luckily, you know, the people I was with didn't pull some dirt bag shit and just leave me on the side of the road like people do sometimes or take my shit. And, you know, they gave me CPR and mouth-to-mouth and RK and all that shit for like 30 minutes

brought me back. And I had wanted to get stable on Suboxone. but I couldn't because the thing with the, I don't know if you know about the whole thing with fentanyl and suboxin. If you take Suboxin with fentanyl or any other opiates in your system still, it puts you in the like precipitated withdrawals,

which is detox tenfold. Makes you wicked sick. And I had done that a couple of times, but I couldn't get there, But once I got an arcane, those, you know, after overdosing and it kicked a lot of that shit out of my receptors, I took that as an opportunity to get clean again and get back stable on Suboxin. So I did, and I ended up slipping again a month later, overdosed again, got saved by a friend of mine who I ended up saving the next day again. and she's dead now too.

And I stayed clean from the end of 2018 until the end of 2020. And I had lost a few people close to me and I had gone back to selling drugs around that time thinking I could do the same thing again with different results. And the same story. I got back into doing shit again for about a month and a half.

But then I got clean again on my own on my couch with a Suboxone, just macrodosed it, just kicked it out of my system and went through a hard detox. And after that, I ended up staying clean until summer of 2023. and I ended up just in a bad situation. You know, I had lost a job and unemployment was going to be taking months, and I was getting strapped for cash, and I had these Dominicans that, you know, I had talked to from Lawrence and Lawrence, Mass, and they had offered me a couple times, you know,

to put me on with work and stuff, and I turned them down because I wasn't trying to live that life anymore. I was trying to do good things, work a regular job, working on my credit, you know, staying out of the streets, being a family man, you know. And all it took was just the wrong, the wrong time, wrong situation. I was stressing about money. He hit me up saying, you know, I know I've offered you a couple times now and you've turned it down but times are tough so if you find yourself in a tough spot you know let me know and i'll put you on board and make money and i was a dumb ass and did it and you know next thing i'm taking trip down to lawrence mass and this dude just blesses me with a couple ounces of dope it was a

fucking business gift you know i don't have to pay for it so i started i started selling again um for a little while before I started actually using it. But, you know, I started making the bigger trips because I told him that, you know, I'm not coming down for any less than 100 grams because that makes it federal. Federal, you get caught with 100 grams

or anything like that. You're doing like maybe a nickel. You get caught with something like that or underneath that Fed threshold in state court, they're fucking slaying you. You get caught with 80 grams of fentanyl or anything like that. You're fucked. You know, it's just a nickel in the fed.

So I told them, yeah, I'll keep doing business, but I'm not coming down for any less than a federal indictment. So I started doing things on a bigger level. And same story every time. You know, I ended up getting, I started doing it because being a man, we don't like to work through our past traumas and our past issues. We like to stuff them and think that we've got this shit under control. I'm sure you can relate.

We don't want to ask people for help. We don't want to work on trauma. We want to stuff it down and keep it in the past and just keep moving. And something happened. You know, I caught the wrong episode of the first 48. it brought up that shit from that fucking night. I had to protect my friend. And it fucked with me really hard that night.

I went to sleep and I just had nightmares. You know, I was going through a hard time and I had the dope there. I had the dope there. And I knew that would take my mind off of shit. It started with just being like, all right, I'm just going to do it this one time. And, you know, that one time, it's never one time.

It's never one time. And, you know, I went off the rails for about a week and a half and tried getting clean on my own again the same way that I had gotten clean before macrodocusing with the bupe. But the problem is now the fentanyl was different. It got the xylazine was out there. and I tried taking a bunch of suboxin and it, you know, it made me really sick, yeah, but I also went into a bunch of seizures. We ended up having a, you know, once in a century flood. I don't know if you

remember, 2023, July 10, 2023, we got flooding all over New England. It was fucking bad. And we got hit hard. I mean, it filled our basement with water. Ruined a bunch of my fucking dope that I had down there. that was stashed and uh and uh ruin my grow i had my grow tent down there i was pissed but the wife did good she got my she got my plants up out of there before they they were ruined all the way but i tried to get clean on my own again and i fucking couldn't do it it put me in the seizures it just was not safe i ended up in the hospital the day of the flood and like ambulances couldn't get to me because I mean the shit was

some places were too dangerous even for rescue by boat it was crazy it was a big deal so I had to send a bucket loader down to my end of town our end of town on the north end of Barry it's the

kind of the hood area Barry it's the shit fucking area and it's just down in the fucking valley and just filled up with water quick they had to send a bucket loader to come get me um and take me all the way across the city to a fucking ambulance and a bucket loader while i'm having seizures and detoxing it was fucking rough and it was rough and you know i had a hard time with that one you know

it was the shortest relapse i had ever had but it was the hardest one at the same time because I did things, I did something that I had never done in my life. I used in front of my wife, like I shot up in front of my wife. She just, she wouldn't leave me alone, let me do it in peace. And I said, fuck it, and I just did it right in front of her. And I always swore to myself, I would never do that and never get her in the shit because I aided and get my kid's mother in the shit. you know and and I just that relapse it just I had so many emotions going on from past traumas I hadn't

dealt with and the fact that I felt like I wasn't strong enough anymore to do it on my own to get clean again on my own and like it wasn't safe for me to do it on my own I was having fucking seizures and everything and I had to check myself in a rehab again and And, you know, I hadn't been there in years, but it's what it took to get me clean again safely. And, you know, I became peer mentor while I was there. And, you know, really became a valued member of the community in there. And everybody looked up to me. I got people out of their comfort zones because I was coming out of my comfort zone

talking about things I had never talked about before, working on those hard things. You know, I just, I had one more shot with my family, you know, over that 10 years with all the bullshit I put my wife through, she stuck around. Like, I don't even know if I would have stuck around if it was the other way around. Like, I put her through a lot of shit. Somehow, she stuck by through it, and she didn't, you know, she deserved a lot better. And I, you know, so I really started trying to put in the real work this time while I was there. And, you know, made the biggest impact in the short time that I was there that I could. And, you know, I had staff.

I ran groups in there. I mean, shit, I'd been there over a dozen times. I could rewrite that fucking program. Fuck sakes, you know. I was running groups. I had staff members telling me, you know, you should really come back to work here. I couldn't even run groups that good. Funny story I did, I had an interview there a month ago.

I didn't get the job, but I'm sure maybe at some point I will. I just try to pay it forward now and try to help people that are in the same position that I was in. You know, because I went the wrong way for a long time. And, you know, now I'm retired. I, you know, I don't put in work for nothing anymore. I don't need to. I spent my younger years doing all that. You know, I'm a fucking OG now.

I don't, I don't, I live the family life. I try to do the right thing. I try to do legal things with my life. You know, I got my armed robbery sealed off my record in 2020. I petitioned it because they changed the new law. that made, you know, before, they put this law into effect in 2018 that made people that under 21, or 21 and under, or under 21 and one of the other, made them youthful offenders.

And it changed the law that made it so that if you picked up charges that you couldn't get off your record prior to that age, it like grandfathered you in to be able to get those things expunged or sealed. It weren't going to expunge my armed robbery, but it was possible to get it sealed off my record. So I spent a year petition in the court and had everything in my life in order at that point.

You know, I had a job. You know, I was working on my credit. I had my daughter, you know, sharing my daughter with my daughter's mother. I was off papers. I had been off for a few years. I was clean. I had no ammo for them to use against me.

And the state's attorney was not trying to have it happen. And after I advocated for myself in the final hearing, I literally left that state's attorney with no reason to say no, to the point where he said he wasn't making the decision. He was leaving it up to the judge. and I won the judge over. She granted my sealment.

And now I can say that I'm legally not a convicted felon. That's awesome, right? You know, it's better sweet because I almost feel like I don't deserve it. Because just because I never picked up any more serious charges after my armed robbery doesn't mean I didn't commit them. You know, I was fucking robbing. I was robbing dealers. I was robbing businesses. I was robbing stores.

I was robbing fucking everything. You know, I was selling drugs. I was, I've done enough shit. I should be, I should be in jail for fucking life, you know? Like, I was doing a lot of shit. I just didn't get caught. You know, and any time cops came poking around, it was nope. Anytime they asked me questions, it was no lawyer.

Nope, lawyer. It was only two words I'd say. And, you know, jail, it makes you a smart. a criminal. It really fucking does. I never got picked up for anything I did after the armed robbery. But, but I also tried to give myself the benefit of the doubt and say, well, you may have committed crime since then, but look at where you are now. Look at where you're at now compared to where you were. Look at what you're doing with your life. You're not doing that anymore. You may have done it over the years, but you're not that person anymore. You know,

so I cut myself a little slack with it, you know, there's a lot of people, so many of my friends, ones that are still alive, will never get that opportunity. I can't pass an FBI background check. You know, I'll never be able to pass one of those. It still show up on a FBI background check. I can't buy firearms. I can't do, you know. I'm supposed to be treated in all aspects as though I was never charged or committed or convicted or none of that.

But when you plead guilty to a felony, you give up that right to own firearms. What's the life lesson you want people to take away from this? It's never too late. If your heart's still beating, it's never too late. You can still turn it around. You can still make a good life for yourself.

It may not be the life that you wanted, but best believe it's better than the life that you were living. You know, if I can do it, if I, of all people, can do it that nobody ever thought would do it, anybody can do it. It just, you have to be ready.

You have to be there. You have to be there. be sick of that lifestyle you have to be sick of cheat in death you have to be you know sick of just the you know all the bad shit that comes along with it all the just the negative shit you have to want a better life for yourself and over time my wife gave me something better to strive for and and i believe that you know i have a bigger purpose here i shouldn't be here after the overdoses that I've had after the, after the stabbing, you know, I had somebody, you know, try to take my life back in 2016.

I got in that fight with that stabbing, just taking a fucking walk. You know, he didn't stab me to hurt me. He stabbed me in the fucking, in the chest, in the rib cage. He stabbed me up through the fucking eye. You know, I've got a cut in the back of my neck, but he tried to take my fucking life and I'm still fucking here. You know, like, I've got dozens and dozens of friends that didn't get half as lucky as me. You know, I couldn't sit here and write down the amount of people that I've lost.

2020, I lost 12 friends. 2016, I lost count. There's been years over between, you know, then and now that I've lost track. I mean, if I sat down, the amount of people I've lost, I could probably write down 50, 60 names easy. And it's sad. It's sad that it's like that. I'm scared for my daughter for when she gets to that age.

Things are just not the same as they used to be, and the drugs have gotten more dangerous. And the world is just not the same place it used to be. Everything's fucking different. Everything. Every aspect of this world is different. You know, there's no loyalty out there anymore with anything. It's, it's hard to find.

But like I said, all I can do is believe that there's a reason that I'm here when all these other people aren't. So, you know, I have a lot of things that people can relate to in one way or another. Somewhere in my story. And I mean, I could come here every fucking. in a month and tell new shit. Now, like, trying to squeeze this in with short time frame is hard.

And you did great with, you know, two and a half hours, man. No, it's hard. I mean... All the more reason to start your own, you know, channel and start producing content about it. I've thought about doing that as well, you know. I mean,

reach more people with that, you know, it's... I'm not going to lie, it's hard to get to the point where I'm at. And yeah, you know, I've been dealing with health stuff and my future might be uncertain with, you know, my health stuff going on. It's been hard for me to hold down a job with my health shit. And I'm dealing with some hard shit, you know, that's out of my control for once.

You know, the other shit was in my control. You know, this is different, you know, dealing with stuff that I don't have control over. I can't, it's not like I can be like, okay, I'm going to stop doing drugs. I'm going to stop hanging out with these people. I'm going to stop doing this and this will go away. You know, having these health issues that are cutting into work. And now I'm sitting at a place flat broke. I've never been in my fucking, you know, since I can remember.

And my credit is excellent, getting ready to go down the fucking drain. Like, you know, don't get it twisted. I've had bad thoughts lately. You know, I've had thoughts. come into my mind like you know what you know what'll help you out right now even though i've spent all but two months of the last six years clean i still have you know that devil on my shoulder you know it's always going to be there it's just you have to you got to you got to you got to fight that you've got to know that some way, some way

it's going to work out. Absolutely. Some way or another, something will happen. You'll have a breakthrough. It's not nothing. Nightmares end. You just got to keep pushing forward. Nightmares end.

There's always a light at that end of the tunnel. But Dylan, I appreciate you, man, coming out here and sharing your story with us today. You did an incredible job telling it. Yeah. It's definitely going to inspire some people. I hope it does. I hope it reaches somebody. Like I said, it's a little difficult trying to find what to talk about, and I may not be in front of a group of people,

but knowing that there's going to be so many people that hear this, it's different. But the more people that hear it, the more chances there are that maybe somebody can be like, hey, you know, I could get there. That could be me. Maybe it's possible for me. Absolutely. And I know you like to ask people, you know, what would you tell your younger self? And I've tried to think about that ever since we scheduled this, and I really don't know what I would tell my younger self. Because like I said, I mean, if I could go back and change anything, I wouldn't. That happened in my younger years, especially before my marriage and before my daughter, because if anything had gone different, that whole butterfly afflicted.

I wouldn't have my daughter. I wouldn't have my wife. I wouldn't have my stepson. I wouldn't have the life that I have now. I don't think I'd even be alive, you know, if anything had gone different. So I can't, even though it ruined chances for me, I can't say that I would take anything back.