Locked In with Ian Bick - Ex-Juvenile Prison Guard Exposes Massive Corruption Inside the System | Damon Shepard

Episode Date: August 7, 2025

Damon Shepard got into corrections to make a difference—but what he found inside nearly destroyed him. Raised by a single mother in St. Louis, Damon was inspired in high school to pursue a career in criminal justice. After falling short of becoming a police officer, he landed a job inside a juvenile correctional facility. But the reality was far from what he expected. Plagued by corruption, drugs, and a toxic environment, Damon was eventually set up and charged with bringing in contraband himself. Forced to resign and clear his name, he now speaks out about the truth behind the system. In this interview, Damon breaks down what really goes on behind bars—and how the people meant to protect can sometimes be part of the problem. #PrisonCorruption #JuvenileJustice #TrueCrime #CorrectionsOfficer #Whistleblower #LockedInWithIanBick #CriminalJusticeSystem #ExposingTheTruth Hosted, Executive Produced & Edited By Ian Bick: https://www.instagram.com/ian_bick/?hl=en https://ianbick.com/ Get 50% off the Magic Mind offer here: https://www.magicmind.com/IANB50. #magicmind #mentalwealth #mentalperformance Presented by Tyson 2.0 & Wooooo Energy: https://tyson20.com/ https://woooooenergy.com/ Use code LOCKEDIN for 20% OFF Wooooo Energy Buy Merch: http://www.ianbick.com/shop Timestamps: 00:00 A Sudden Accusation 00:12 Damon's Background & Early Dreams 01:51 Inspirations and Upbringing 04:16 Family, Education, and Ambitions 08:38 Trying and Failing the Police Academy 13:09 Learning Security on the Streets 17:21 Moving Up: School Safety Advocate 20:48 Lessons from Working with Kids 24:01 Environment and Upbringing in Crime 27:21 Transitioning into Corrections 29:28 Early Days Inside Juvenile Detention 32:22 Trouble Brewing: Drugs in the Facility 39:17 First Major Contraband Incident 44:11 Breakouts and Rising Tensions 52:14 Being Accused & Set Up Again 01:00:28 Corruption & Aftermath 01:08:13 Surviving on the Inside 01:12:27 The Kid's Backstories and Their Impact 01:15:26 What Kids Really Need 01:16:29 Losing Faith in the Justice System 01:19:43 The Problem Runs Deeper Than St. Louis 01:21:06 Moving Forward—A New Purpose 01:22:33 Lessons Learned and Final Thoughts Powered by: Just Media House : https://www.justmediahouse.com/ Creative direction, design, assets, support by FWRD: https://www.fwrd.co Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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You know, call me up. Oh, well, you're suspended. We pay an investigation for bringing an inmate drugs. What the fuck is you talking about? Damon Shepard grew up in St. Louis with a dream of making a difference in the criminal justice system. Raised by a single mom, he started in security and worked his way into corrections after falling short of becoming a cop.

But that dream quickly turned into a nightmare. While working in a juvenile facility plagued by corruption and contraband, Damon was set up and charged with bringing drugs in sex. forced to resign and fight for his name, he now exposes the broken system from the inside out. Damon, welcome to Lockton, man. Thanks so much for coming out here today. Yeah, man. Thanks for having me, man.

I've been waiting to come out here for a long time now. I've been telling my mom, like, man, I'm trying to get out there. I'm trying to get out there. You know, so I'm glad to be here, you know. And shout out to your mom for being a listener of the show. You were telling me she's been watching the episodes every day. Yeah, man. I just talked to her this morning.

She caught the episode of the guy from Breaking Bad. So she was excited. She's like, oh, you know, I'm a big fan of the guy from, you know, well, the show of breaking bad. So I'm glad she's tuning in right now, you know what I'm saying. And she, you know, she's like, oh, I didn't know he had guests like that. I'm like, yeah, I told you. I'm like, this big podcast, you know what I mean? Yeah, that was a good episode.

It was different, but it was good. And RJ did such a good job telling his story. And it's just, it's nice to branch out. But it's still within the world of the criminal justice system, but it's different at the same time, makes it unique. Yeah, you know, of all the, all, all. Out of all the episodes I watched, it was a guy named Quay. I guess he was a CEO from Rock's Island. Yeah, Quill.

Yeah, I watched him. I think he's on 60 days in, too, right? Mm-hmm. Yeah, I loved his interview. I probably watched it every, probably six times. Went to sleep watching him because I can relate so much to what he was saying and stuff like that. Yeah, you're not the first person that said that, especially that comes from a correctional officer background. Oh, for real?

Yeah, people liked him because he was very real about just everything there. And nothing really phased him. Right, right, right. And he was just honest and vulnerable. He was honest, calm, and then there was, like, a lot of things he was, like, you know, like he was saying, like, with some of the inmates, like, he was saying with some of the inmates, like, not all of them or bad people, but, like, well, they did something to get there, but they ain't all so good.

Like, inmates do complain a lot, you know, and I realized that, too, like, especially with the phone calls and, you know, like, are you having a, you know what I'm saying, are you having a little, a little hissy fit and you just kill something? You know, but who, I'm not judge, you know. Yeah. I feel like in that type of job, you can't judge. You can't, because if you, like, you know what's crazy. Before I started actually working in jails, I was a little guilty of kind of being judgmental toward people that committed crimes.

But once I got in there and really, like, heard the stories of how they even got to the, how did they even get there? I'm like, damn, they had, like, a lot of them had some bad upbringings. A lot of the times they was in there, it could have been, like, someone was, like, actually self-defense. And, I don't know, like, sometimes you get to hear in the backstory, it damn to have you turning up, like, damn, this person experienced stuff that I never went through. And I was like, damn, I was kind of like, it changed the way I, it changed the way I seen people, actually working with them. So, you know, you definitely, if you got a heart, I feel like you can be a good CEO, security officer, because you get to, to feel for people and now you won't probably move so aggressively or a certain way based upon you having the heart.

To last long, I ain't going to say the last long, you got to have a heart. But, you know, somebody always watching, you know, in corner, something else. So you definitely got to have a heart to work in that type of field. Yeah, that's why I like starting at the person's upbringing and background. I know some people that are just here for the war stories or the excitement, get tired of it. But I think it's so important to humanize the individual and see that they're not so different. Right, right. After all, then people that didn't commit crimes or didn't work in law enforcement or things of that nature. Right.

So that's why I think it's so important to the story to have that full arc the beginning, in the middle of the end. I agree. I agree. Where'd you grow up? I grew up in San Luis, Missouri, raised by my mom and grandmother. My grandpa, my dad, my dad's side was in my life. Dad, you know, really not for real, for real. You know, I got to know them a little bit more as I got older, but. two different worlds, you know what I'm saying, two different ways of thinking. But my mom and my grandma mainly was who raised me. My grandpa was there too, you know what I'm saying? He passed away back in 2000, I think it was 15.

But he was big in my life taking me to introduce to football and sports. And, you know, we shared a lot of stuff in common and stuff like that. That was kind of like, he was probably like the main male figure in my life growing up older than me by a lot. So he couldn't really go out there and play ball with me. but he was always, hey, Damon, you know, I don't know, it's just like, he was just like, like, the biggest male figure in my life growing up, you know, and he was way older, but come and pick me up, took me to different things and stuff like that. Couldn't move fast, but, you know, he, you know, he was definitely that male role model, you know,

and that was pretty much it for real, for real. His son, his, my grandpa's son is my dad, but it was mainly just more. mostly just spending time with him. Now your mom's an attorney. Yes, she is. And she was one while you were growing up to? You know what? She actually went to an school in St. Louis, Missouri.

So when I was, I think, a freshman in high school, she used to, that's what she was. By the fact, she graduated school. She went to college, went to Forest Park in St. Louis back when I was real young, graduated third. She had an associate's degree. I know she was doing like, she was like a property manager at one point in time, too. Then she ended up going back, you know, she always wanted to do more. So she ended up going back to school, went to the umps for criminal justice, and she took me to her seminars. At first I kind of didn't want to go, and she drugged me with it one time.

They were just talking about, like, all, you know, it was like a seminar, and I would start getting interested in criminal justice. They was talking about all different type of police stuff and just, like, homicide type of, you know, like, I don't know, just talking about a whole bunch of criminal justice type. things and I would start getting interested like you know I'm big I'm fast I'm strong you know I can run it just it just interested me like from that day and she took me to a couple of them and then she ended up moving out of town to Florida and she went to Florida coach school of law that's what she got a law degree there you know and I was interested in it not to the point where I was going to probably go to like law school and nothing like that you know law school hard as hell like my mom was telling me from the time she went there it was people that failed

the boy committed suicide so i'm like damn it's like they're smart people but that boy exam is very difficult from what i heard you know so i was uh very interested in that growing up i went to a school called south county tech it's like a trade school and we had like heating and cool you know like the automotive heating and cooling we didn't have uh the law enforcement class until like my last year and I couldn't really switch from heating and cooling to that class, but I kind of wanted to check it out. But I didn't check it out. So as I got older, I ended eventually end up falling into it.

Do you think if your mom wasn't studying to become an attorney and bringing you to those seminars, you never would have taken an interest at that age too? Probably not. Honestly, probably not. I was just crazy about football. I couldn't really, you know, as a kid, you had the craziest dreams. You know, I kind of wanted to be like a wrestler.

And then I got old. I'm like, man, this stuff kind of fake a little bit. You know, like, I don't know. Like, I kind of wanted to be a wrestler. And then I kind of fell off in love with football. You know, my grandma, she real big into football, too. You know, we both football fanatics. I fell off into football.

But if I didn't go to that class, I don't think I probably would have because it's, like, nobody around me even. Like, I don't have no friends. Well, I got a couple friends that do security. But I met them later on down the road, so I probably wouldn't ever gotten to it. Were you thinking about growing up college? I went to this Columbia I went to this little Columbia College online for like

a year by and finish I was taking up the little criminal justice classes like the little online classes it wasn't like no real sit-down classes but I did the little online thing for a year

and it's just like it was cool but you know you don't got nobody to kind of like when you're doing it online it's like it only feel like you at school

you know I remember doing them classes I'd be at work I'd call my grandma phone like grandma i'll take i'm gonna make it in i got i got you baby i got you uh we had to do the little homework and stuff like that you know i mean it was it was cool i asked me what i would have stayed in it you know but sometimes we make excuses and not get certain things done you know what i'm saying and then i was already insecurity at the time and i think i was um actually it's a st louis city police

department I went to I applied for a job there I went to the I was going through the academy process had to the oral board where you sit in front of a panel of people to ask you questions through a long background check I got to the physical this was in 2013 November I remember I was sick as a dog I went to the physical I played football in high school I ain't worried about passing the physical I can run tackle I I can fight. We had to run these laps, run out like four laps. Everybody said, pace yourself, pace yourself.

I'm not pacing myself. I'm about to show everybody. I can outrun everybody. I'm running fast. Second lap, I'm tired of smoke cigarettes. I'm running out of breath. Somehow, some way my time don't come back right. I feel the physical.

It's like, oh, well, you can come back in a month and redo the physical part. Pissed. Can I close? Yeah. Okay. Pissed. I'm pissed. Like, this fat mother, it didn't pass it. I didn't pay. I was so mad. How did I feel the physical? So I get home at the time I applied for Hazelwood School District at the time. I get a phone call. They call me for an interview. So it kind of like made the pain of not feeling, feel it like made the pain of feeling of physical. Like, you know, I felt a little better.

Like I got to interview with the school district. I always like, you know, I always feel like I could be the mentor of the kids. So I go to the interview. They hire me, you know. I go to Hazelwood. work there. This is right after high school. Well, yeah, a couple years after high school. So you wanted to go into the police academy first? That was your first goal? My first goal was going to police academy.

So, matter of fact, let me go back a little bit. I started actually doing security work in the local grocery store before I actually went to trying to go to the police academy. So that was fresh out of high school? Yeah, two years, two years. I was doing janitorial work, stuff that I wasn't really into, you know. So I ended up doing security work. working at Grand Casu, pretty, I don't want to say, get some good people out there.

Man, it's the north side of St. Louis, but it's a low poverty area, crime, you know, crime area. So that was the first time I started doing security. It was in the worst part of St. Louis. Like, people that from St. Louis know the north side, the west side is the worst part. So I started doing security there. It's funny.

I met this guy named Tony Palumba. He was like, Italian guy, you know first day I get there, I got a 38 I got the bullets in my pocket, the gun on my side. So I was like, hey, so if something happened, I just put the gun, bullets, I'm so naive.

I said, if something happened, I put the bullets in there? He said, kid, what are you doing without the bullets in your gun? You get the bullets, put it in your gun, and shot the motherfucker in the ur. It's five in the morning before the start. What the fuck is the motherfucker crazy? Oh, this motherfucker crazy is hell.

So, you know, I end up kind of getting my feet wet working down there with this guy and another guy I met named Buckley he was a little older than me first time we caught a shoplift and stealing like it was like a grocery store people coming there still beer

still anything my partner in Buckley it was a girl in a dude they were stealing some liquor or something like this to walk out of the store so he's like all right they're about to come out we about to grab them I said we can touch him so he grabbed the dude and the grill at the same time I said bro we can grab him

he said bring your scary ass over and grab this motherfucker so after that I kind of like start getting loosening up like okay we can tackle these motherfuckers I'm trying to make sure I ain't know the rules So after that you know I was on it I think I called my first shoplifter He's an older guy still in the four I never forget he stole a four loco You know but he kind of kept getting it off a couple times like getting away with it

So one day I caught his ass secure because they always said you got to catch him you got to see them conceal the product So I actually caught him in the aisle Concealing it I got his ass So I jumped out I was like yeah I sent you motherfucker put that For a look on your bag And he's like you know what

Here you know So I think I took him to the bag Wrote him a little thing He walked out talking shit We had words But like a couple weeks later He came up to me He's like you know I wasn't trying to insult your intelligence

I did steal it And I kind of felt like Damn this dude He apologized me for stealing So But you know When you first get in the game You head hunting people

You really want to get your name known and whatever you do let them know, I don't play this with you off this. But then I got to realize, like, damn, he didn't kill no motherfucking body. He just stole some liquor. So I think late on that day, I ended up buying him like two four locals to make amends

because, I mean, he wasn't wrong, but at the same time, like, why am I, you know, like, I'm doing my job, but I realized, like, this dude came up to me and apologized and spoke to me when I be, you know, they'd be hanging out of that side. Hey, how you doing? Like, damn, how are you doing?

So I kind of want to make things right. Like I ain't that type of person that really just want to catch somebody and just get a kick off it. Even though that day I was like, yeah, you know, that day, but I'm younger. So I, you know, bought them two four locals. And after that, you know, see each other, hey, how are you doing? Hey, how are you doing? You still can't come in the store. But eventually, you know, we end up letting them come back in the store, giving them second chance and stuff like that.

But, you know, starting off doing security, it was in a bad part. A lot of fights. I mean, it's like fights on the parking lot. we're breaking it up. We had a lot of shoplifters that come in there. Like most of them, some of them are give it up. Some of them be like, I ain't giving up shit. That's when you kind of got to get physical.

So a lot of times I was one of the ones that was known for getting physical with the customers. Like now in 2005, everything got a hands-off approach. You can't be in our hidden customers and stuff like that. Back then, it was more like, you know, you're like, hey, man, you can't go past. They'll try to bust some move. You punch them or slam. You ain't supposed to be doing that. So people watching, don't be punching no customers.

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You know what I'm saying? Did you ever have to use a gun? Like, why does a grocery store need armed security? You know what? I never used a gun the whole time I worked there. I drew my gun one time, but I never had you. I got a friend.

He used his gun a couple times. He kind of a little while, you know, you know what I'm talking about, you know what I'm saying? Got to pop the name P. He didn't pop that pistol so many times. Why we call him P? But, no, I never, I never have.

You know what I'm saying? I'm always kind of one of them type of people. I always be, you know, like, people that, you know, some people that's criminals, they don't think they just go off impulse. I never been an impulsive person. I mean, the closest thing I got with impulse is probably throwing a punch. But as far as, like, shooting, no, that ain't never been my character.

I ain't never been like, you know, everybody got a backstory. I used to start. Before I did law enforcement, I was, I mean, I fought a lot. But as far as, like, the gunplay, I feel like during my era, we was raised on, like, my era was more of fighting, shooting. It was some that was, but that wasn't my thing. I was more of a fight-a-first type person growing up. So, where is your sights sat always on becoming a police officer, or did you

kind of get bored with security and that was the next step man you know what it was and I just wanted to be more than just a grocery store security going man I seen people that was like in a I seen people that was older in their 50s and they'd be complaining and uh I didn't want to be that guy in the store like when I'm when I was younger doing it it was cool but I didn't want to be that old guy that turned gray working at a store with no kids telling them like you know I don't want to be that guy so I always wanted to be more in that field, you know what I'm saying? I think that's why I kind of left working at the grocery stores to work at schools

because, you know, you always want to kind of like change lives. I can't stop in shoplifting as they're making nobody better, you know. The items can't say thank you for your service, you know what I'm saying? So I wanted to be more than just a security go out of the store. How did you feel after you didn't get into the police department? I was mad. I was mad because I knew I wasn't going to be leaving that store no time soon. And then Hazelwood called me like three days later.

And I ended up having an interview with this lady, this lady in Versaigne, and she called me in and gave me an opportunity. I'm thankful to this day that she even gave me the opportunity to work with children and stuff like that. Because it kind of changed my life. And that's like a school security guard? Yeah, I was a safety officer. Advocate, yeah. We called them safety advocates.

Yeah, I like that. I like that. It sounds better. It sounds better than guard. Safety advocate, okay, okay. What was that like for you? It was fun, man. It was different.

It was, I worked at the school called Southeast, and pretty good. It was a decent school, you know, we had a principal that was changing the culture of that school. And it was what I liked about working at the schools, you know, I ain't never had no little brother growing up, but, you know, meeting the kids there. It'd be like, from the most popularest kid to the kid that does nobody talk to, always, like, started off from the bottom to the top, got to. know all the kids. We had kids that were suicidal that I made sure to touch bases with them. Like, how are you doing today? Everything good?

Come holly at me. You know what I'm saying? Like, no child left behind in my eyes. I want to touch base with everybody. I want to make sure everybody good. You know, I see a kid getting bullied. Hey, don't, you know, you got some kids that can't take it. You know, a kid bullied a kid.

He's at Skake King one time on a field trip. We had a kid that, you know, one of the boys kept on calling him gay or whatever. I mean, he crying in the corner escape. I'm like, I'm like, boy, come here. Let me holl at you, man. You know, you're probably going to grow up and be, I said, you can't trip about what he's saying right now. You're in middle school.

Whatever he's saying, it don't even matter. He always, I mean, I knew the kid. He always in trouble. Got bad grades. You got good grades. What's you crying for? And he says something to you say something to him back. But don't let what's this, don't let this moment dictate.

Don't go home and kill yourself because of what this person is saying. You know, like, not F them, but it's only a phase of your life. You know what I'm saying? So I always tried to like really like talk life into the kids that wasn't as popular in school because everybody needs a staff member that's going to see them. Like everybody like when you was in school, you probably wanted somebody. I mean, you probably had it but probably wanted somebody that's like, hey, look, everything going to be okay. Because I think teachers be so caught up and counselors to be so caught up with the problematic kids where they don't pay attention to the kids that's just like not problematic. Like they might have struggles going on too.

go talk to them, even though they might not be loud in the hallways. They might need more attention than the problematic kid to me. You know, like, so I always try to like have a relationship, have a rapport with all the kids at the school, if I could, but most of them I did. They all knew my name. I was surprised. They'd be a kid like today, like I'd be at Walgreens. Hey, Officer Shepherd.

I'm like, hey, how you doing? I don't remember that kid, but hey, you know, how you doing? You know, they probably was one of the kids that wasn't problematic. But I still speak. I know it's from one of these schools, you know. I know they're from the jail. I remember all the kids from the jail, you know. Can't forget none of them.

Looking at some of these kids when you're working at the school, did it make you feel more appreciative to the way your mom raised you? Yeah. It does because some of the kids, like, they'll go home, they'll tell, you know, busy kids in jail. they paying, they was like selling drugs paying their mama rent. And it's like, well, he did get locked up, got called with some drugs, but he got a different circumstance than I did.

I'm like, damn, he got to sell drugs. I didn't have to sell no drugs. Like, I felt like I had everything I kind of wanted growing up. You know what I'm saying? Like, when I graduated high school, I had a car. You know, my mama and my grandma made that happen. So I didn't think about, like, the stuff they go through, I didn't go through. So it's like I couldn't, I couldn't even, like,

damn you had to sell drugs to pay your mama bills and your parents on drugs I know the feeling you know what I'm saying and sometimes when they come in there they got a different type of stress like you know you just say you got to kind of like approach that different you can't approach that way like you know you shouldn't be selling drugs who am I to say that he got to pay his parents rent so it's kind of like you just see the situation they hear you have your rapport you bill with them but you don't dare to who say nothing about what this person doing. Like, some people that still drugs ain't just doing it

because they're not bad people. They're just trying to make money to support their family. And I guess when you're back put against the wall, you would do anything to, you know what I'm saying, get out that corner, you know what I'm saying? So I definitely understood it. And it's sad because they can mess up their name so young because of the circumstantial reasons and stuff like that.

So it's definitely one of the type of things where it's like, as a parent and me myself as a parent like i do wish that more parents are kind of like like buckle down try not to have your kids seeing all these like different things even that we are we as parents do like from smoking sometimes you could be smoking weed on the porch even though we illegal you don't want the kid thinking it's cool because you do it because who am i to say oh it's bad to smoke weed but i'm sitting up for smoking the weed you know so the kids see everything we do you know what i mean and then And then, Lord forbid, they mimic what we do, especially if we're doing something negative.

So it's kind of like, you know, people that's my age, I'm 36, I got a daughter that's 15, having a, like, I don't know, like, it's people that got had kids young, that got teenage kids that's younger than me, and they still playing in the streets. So it's kind of like, damn, if you still playing the streets and you're immature and your child 15, they don't got a chance. You know, and then you ain't going to discipline them because you're going to do certain stuff with them, like smoke with them. And I think that's crazy, like smoking with your child. Like, it's like this. If their parent don't tell them it's wrong, who is you to tell them it's wrong? Because they listen to everything their parents say. So kids definitely got way rough.

And I feel like I had, like, my generation had it grown up. I feel like it was different. Like parents was parents. But now parents are still kids. Do you think someone's environment is the defining factor of whether they go off in a crime? or whether they have a good and successful life? Yes and no. I want to say no because, I mean, I grew up in different environments.

Like, I started off in Pile Line. And I mean, you know, as a kid, I didn't really see my environment as being bad, you know, because on my house, like, well, just because of, like, I feel like I was raised around, like, good, like, a family that, like, I don't know. I just feel like somebody down the street. probably seen more than I seen, you know what I'm saying, because what was going on in their house and stuff like that, but I know people that grew up in worse areas than I did, and they actually doing pretty good, you know what I'm saying, it's like made them want to go

harder. You got some people that grow up in the suburbs that turn out, like, horrible, and I think that too, and it kind of used to piss me off a little bit, like, man, you had your mom, dad, grew up in a nice house, why are you so fascinated with the street? It used to make me mad. Like, why are you fascinated with the hood? it and you ain't even there. You know, but I stayed in different areas, though.

Like, I stayed in Pine Line. That's where I met my best friend, Paul, you know. And, you know what, one thing I will say, growing up in some challenging areas, when I first actually, growing up, I was in this area called Pine Line. I met my best friend Paul when I was a kid. That school was kind of rough.

I ain't going to lie to you. Like, it was a lot of fights, you know. Yeah, a lot of fights. That's why I actually got to fight. fight my best friend taught me how to you know fight and defend myself and stuff like that because it was it was an area where you was almost fighting every day you know what I'm saying like uh how don't what I was I saying uh that area like how I'm trying to get this together that area I moved from the area to this area called Kirk where it was diverse that was probably the first

school I went to they had black kids and white. I mean, it was white kids at Normandy Pinalin area, but Kirkwood was the most diverse school I went to. And so when I got there, I never thought it'd even be, like, like, problems because it was, like, actually a decent area, but it was like a section eight, six and eight, six and eight, six and eight part of just Kirkwood area. So I was like a coach shock.

Like, it was different, you know what I'm saying? So I didn't think it would be drama. in a better area but true man truthfully man i think people their personality's gonna show wherever they at so i got out there um like you go from a area that supposed to be a area that's bad to a good area but it seemed like the drama was still it's like it was more drama in a good area because everybody was so different you know what i mean like people was breaking in people houses because this person had more so i don't know and it's like kids that parents actually had good jobs and money, them kids was bad as hell.

And it was like, it was like weird. Like, and I was judgmental. Like, why the fuck is they doing all this bad shit? And their parents got money. It used to kind of just like throw me off, you know? So I don't know. It seemed like I got along with people more in the bad neighborhood and the idea in the good neighborhood is weird.

How did you transition from working in that school to corrections? Okay. So I end up leaving Hazelwood. And I went back to, I don't know, I was going through this little phase, like I want to do something different, which everybody go through. And I think I end up going to do some stupid janitorial work. And it ain't last that long. I'm like, man, about to be cleaning these floors. And then a teacher came up to me too.

And I was like, why are you doing this? I knew you can do so much better. I talk to you every day. It's like, you want more. I'm like, yeah, thanks for reminding me. So I end up leaving her. going back into doing security back in, I think I'm working at like this club, well, like ballpark village or something like that, and I was working down there.

We got to doing that, and then I end up, oh, yeah, I end up going back to doing security at a club, and I end up going back into the school at the school called Normandy. So I worked there for a year. They end up doing these layoffs. Normandy kind of made me want to go. It was like I laid off at Normandy. I always wanted to work at a juvenile, but it just, matter of fact,

I think the county you had to have an associate's degree, the city you didn't have to have no degree, and that's what really kept me from going to work there. But somebody told me like, and I think I looked up online and said you didn't have to have no associate's degree to work at the juvenile in the city. So I'm like, perfect.

I applied. They called me. I end up having my interview. The interview went great. You know, I was doing an interview online. Everything went good. I got called in there for a tour. Everything, they offered me the job. I accepted it.

And once I started working, that's when all the bullshit started. You know, it was 2021 May. is when I start working at the juvenile detention center in St. Louis City. So everything, you course, you know, your first day training, everything started off good. I come in there with a couple was like me and three other new people and stuff like that. Met everybody. Everybody seemed cool. At the time it was on, we only had like eight inmates, eight juvenile inmates down at the time.

So everything was relaxed at the time. That's it? Eight in the whole building? I mean, it was eight in the whole building. It was small. How many guards are there? It was probably like per shift, it might have been, like 14. But it's a small facility.

Okay. Like, it's like, it's small so we didn't have the big numbers of like, we didn't have that many numbers. I don't know, it was small compared to the ones in Chicago and other cities I heard about. So during the time, it was nothing going on. There wasn't no fights. The kids were respectful. So it wasn't like, so during the time I'm working there, I don't yell at kids, man. I don't yell at them.

I don't cuss at him unless when I'm trying to fight me or something like that or some stuff like that and then I had to get physical with him because I, you know, but during the time I worked there, I had a supervisor and he really cared for him. You know, he felt like, yeah, I don't know, he felt like if something was to happen. He felt like I was too laid back, you know, and that's just me naturally. Like, I'm naturally laid back until I get a reason to have to like, you know, be more, you know, so I don't know. He kind of like, you know, he kind of like, was like, I don't know, man, kind of just like fucking with me, bothering me. Like when I say bothering me, I mean like more like,

wonder what a shepherd to do in this type of situation. I know, it's like he's like trying to put me in situations, you know. So we end up getting more kids that came to the jail, more and more like violent kids. So the numbers started increasing. So I think when the numbers started increasing, then we started having more drama, I started standing out more like the musselder.

At first they couldn't really tell because we didn't have no situation, no drama. Then once the drama start presenting itself, that's more so when I kind of like show my, like, show who I was. Like, they knew like, okay, he's the muscle on the unit, quiet, very soft-spoken. The kids like them,

but we don't know how he had handled a situation if it was to present itself. You know, it's something about men and corrections, this macho shit. Like, something about guys that, like, even security, Everybody think they, the toughest, you know, it's one of them, like, things that everybody say, I would have did this different. I would have to do it. Everybody said that shit.

And then the situation happened, you know, different things, different results for different folks and stuff like that. But during that time I worked there, everything started kind of like getting more intense. You know, we had more kids, more drama, more shit, you know. And my first real situation working there. okay let me just get to the these stories about to kind of like intertwine and stuff like that during the time I'm working there

we had a kid you know a kid I knew actually from one to Normandy he's one of them kids I mean he was a freshman during the time um freshman during the time whatever you know I see him in the hallway and stuff like that

you know when the kids go to high schools they smoke weed outside school coming school how all the time you see it can't do nothing in the body, smoking it outside of school. It might be smoking in school, but there's so many ends and outside of it. It's not a jail. So I knew there's one kid who's still all the time.

We come to school high as hell all the time. I was bloodshot red, you know, you see him in the hallways. This kid ended up being at the juvenile facility I was working at. Working the unit one time with this other youth leader, which is a woman. The kid on my unit, eyes, blood, shot red, just laughing. I'm like, what the fuck? I know this motherfucker ain't high. And this jail.

This during COVID, there ain't no parents. Ain't nobody coming in here. Ain't no way in hell this kid could be high. So, I'm talking to this female co-worker. I said, this boy didn't came in this motherfucker. Hides Hill.

You know, so she'd go over there. And we both go over there and stuff like that. I'm talking to him. I said, boy, who the fuck bringing you drugs? Who bringing you weed up in this motherfucker? Because this is our unit. If they find out you high, me and her working her

only people that's going to be talked to is me and her so and that's the reckless shit that I didn't like at the jail from the first situation he went and tell us you know what I'm saying so she gets to talking to him isolated and he'd tell her that

a certain supervisor was bringing it in to him you know it's the same supervisor that don't like me so this girl take it upon herself to go up to him and say you know hey I was told about this youth that you was bringing him drugs. He was like, what the fuck you?

What the hell you mean? Her dumb ass say some shit like, well, if you're going to bring it to him, why bring him something that he can't secure? Like a weed, it was a weed pen. She bring up, she come up to him and say some shit about her, bring him some edible something that don't leave no trace because you swallow the shit, it's in your system and shit. She's fucking stupid.

He wrote it down. He said, oh, write it down, write it down, write it down. She heard that man's wrote it now. So, mind you, he got reported her. And I guess he came and confronted the kid. Like, why would the fuck would you tell them this around, not around us? Why would you tell, why would you tell her that I was giving you this? You know what I'm saying?

Because she ran her mouth, she's going to mess around reporting. So he made the kid start, you know, spinning a story about her giving it. to him. So the next day, he knew that she was probably going to report him. He had, we was, we was having like a, we was having some type of, uh, we have these things where people, because speakers, guest speakers come in and speak to the kids in the cafeteria or the gym. So I took the kids downstairs the next day for this whole little seminar, uh, during the kids being downstairs, they wanted me to come up there and do my first, uh, uh, contraband check. I worked, I worked there for like, four months.

We never do contraband checks. It's the culture there. That jail doesn't do contraband chicks. You know, I don't know why they just don't. They don't take nothing serious. So they see me on my first one. I said, you want me to do it? Should I ain't have a deal?

All right, cool. I go up there and do it. So I go up there to do the contraband check. By myself, which is bad I did. You never see nobody to go do a contraband check by their stuff because why would you trust me to do it? you know, by myself, but it's cameras, but I'm still by myself. You're just something you just don't do because you need a witness there with you to protect yourself.

So I knew it was some bullshit in the game once I went up there and did the contraband check. So I go up there, uh, check some of the rooms, nothing. I go in this one room. It was the fourth room to the right. I'll go up there. Uh, look on the bed. The bed kind of messed up. But I look on the floor, it's a weed pen.

I'm like, what the fuck? So I picked it up, you know, I kind of seemed to play. Once this whole conversation started about the drugs, randomly a weed pen in room four, you know. But the kid that was eyes blushed, I read in room one. How the fuck is the pin in four? I pick up the pen, put it up to the camera. Like, I know this some boo.

I'm over there saying this. I know there's some bullshit. You know what I'm saying? So as I'm walking out of the boy cell, you know, we have this high-ranked administrator walking. in with the lady that's over the unit walk in. And I said, look at this shit. What's this?

And he was like, oh my God. And the reaction was so fake. Like, come on now. Anybody reaction to somebody find a weed pin on the unit, there's never going to be like, it was so made up. And why I was saying, when I do the search this high-ranking person that worked at the jail

is walking on the unit, this person never walks around, never do rounds. Like, they knew Shepherd was going to check the unit and they knew I was going to find it. how you know I was going to find it. And why would an inmate leave a pen sitting out? Emacs are smart. They don't fucking leave shit that they value sitting out

because another inmate going to take it or we're going to drugs, we're going to find it and you're going to be in some type of trouble. Not legal trouble because a juvenile can't be in legal trouble for a drug that one of the dose brought in. So, you know, I find a weed pen. I had to do a report. And I'm kind of already pissed because I knew that they stayed.

is this whole fucking thing. So, you know, maybe I'm, so I'm cussing. I'm like, you know, one of our motherfucking workers put their pen in that motherfucker room. That kid ain't that fucking dumb to do no stupid shit like that. You know, so, man, y'all go downstairs. They take the kid into the office to question him about me finding the pen.

If I found the pen in his room, you would think he'd be pissed at me, that I even searched his room. He wasn't mad at me at all, like, as if he knew that this shit was staged, which it was, he told me. You know, they're so dumb.

They're going to put you back around the kid that you just found weed on. And they're going, you know, kids talk. You know, you're like, oh, yeah, they told us to say that you gave us the pen. I'm like, fuck, they tell you that for it. That I gave them the motherfucking pen. Because they felt like me and they felt like

the kid that was high, I knew him from school. He felt like I told her to throw him under the bus, which wasn't a situation. But you didn't have the fucking pen anyway. fucking one of your fucking kid. So the administration told the kids to, once I found the pen,

they wanted to make it seem like I gave him the pen. I'm going to find the pen to give. Why would I give them the pen and find a pen? Make it make sense. So make a long story short, the police, I come to work one day. Like, Shep, are you coming to work today?

I said, yeah, I'm coming to work today. You sure? I said, yeah. I come to work. They deline me to another office. Police in them, motherfucker. I'm like, what the fuck? Do you know how many military?

little gram this pen got of a t-ac-c i'm like no i don't uh there's you know these youth are saying that you gave them the uh you know the weed pen or whatever so i'm just sitting back calm like no that ain't that uh this kid that they said that i know him for a long time i said no somebody coerced somebody trained you know told them to say these things i only have a problem with this kid. For him to even say that I would give him the drug is crazy. Make a long story short, did nothing come about it. I think CPS came, you know, they got to come and interview you too,

especially when it's a kid. They look at it as abuse. So they came and talked to me. Nothing came about the situation. Nobody was, besides interviewing me and the girl, they never found the person they gave. the drug the supervising the the the person that posted gave the drug name was never in the statement besides the kids telling another worker so make a long story short this situation just

disappear which uh kind of pissed me off going months going they months down the road so we end up after their weed situation that's when all the breakouts start you know the kids we start a high value, like a high number of kids coming into the jail. More fights start breaking out, but it wasn't the inmates fighting each other. They was fighting staff, you know. It was, I think it was October, 2021. And I think we had the first breakout around that time. So the kids actually, like, I mean, the building wasn't that big.

It was simple. Punch a youth leader. take a key, open the door, run to the, uh, run to like the main. It's like I had a tour of Harris, Harris County juvenile. It's big doors that you got to press buttons. We didn't have that shit. We got the old school doors with glass. Fucking jail got glass doors everywhere.

He just kicked the fucking window out. They run out. So that's when all the breakout started. Luckily, I was only there for one breakout attempt. All the other attempts that they cleared it, I wasn't there. I think staff kind of always felt like, why anytime it's a breakout he's never at work, like as if the kids warned him not to be at work,

which wasn't true. But I was actually there for one breakout, and one of the kids that had a good relationship with, he was pretty tough kid. They was all trying to run and get through the door. He'd seen me, and all of them kind of like, they don't want to hit me, you know what I'm saying? Like, they, truthfully, some workers,

they don't really want to, like, physically tangle up with. But then they're doing it with the weakest lineup and stuff like that. So the breakout started. breakout started around okay breakouts started and we go down months down the road that's when we had more drugs coming in the jail we had a whole new lineup of kids I think it was July 22

it was a we had a kid that I started working high risk at the time down the third. That's what we started doing more like the kids that snuff of murder and stuff like that. More of the violent kids and stuff like that. And what I noticed, every kid that ever had drugs in their cell was always a murder one. And their door was always the first door on every unit. The first door, you can hear underneath it to hear, like, okay, the first door is always the closest to where your office is going to be at. I noticed that every time it was like drugs,

every time it was a kid that had a drug was always doing one. It was always a murder one. I feel like they was using the drugs to keep the most violent kids calm. It was never the Jack Boys. It was always the one that was going off for the longest amount of time. And it was always probably the most physically, physically, the one that posed the biggest threat was always the one that had it. So you would think as if like this can't be by accident.

No, it's always door one. It's always a murder one. You know what I'm saying? And what I didn't like about it was you would have somebody like me working in a unit. And it's like anytime it's any type of like drug, accolization or anything like, okay, anytime like, let's say you smell weed on the second shift, everybody in the second shift on this unit on the investigation. So, like, I was kind of like, I was kind of, like, pissed. I was pissed because any time I even get questioned about something I don't do, I get irritated. Like, bro, like, like, we had workers that got caught giving kids the phone.

Like, we had a worker that got caught giving the kid the phone, right? And it's like, well, damn, you were questioning me about something. But the people that got caught giving them things that, like, okay, it wasn't weed he gave them. This person isn't a suspect, but you bring me down to talk to me. So it's kind of like, like the people that's giving kids certain things, like, you give them a cell phone, you think they'll give them a drug? Not saying that they would, not saying that they did, but it's like, I never. Crack a Cayman Jack margarita and taste your escape.

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Tap the banner or visit usaa.com slash auto discounts. Restrictions apply. Gave you a reason to ever question me about it. Why do you think they were targeting you like that? I feel like they was targeting me because truthfully, when I first, when I, it was a girl, it was a girl that got the one that gave the supervisor the idea about giving the weed gummies. You know, he never liked me. You know, I guess he felt like me and her had a relationship.

outside of work, whatever, you know what I'm saying? Did you? I had on cap, you know what I'm saying? I had a little, you know, we was cool, you know what I'm saying? But I think that's what kind of made, he didn't like me, you know, he was real favorite with administration and stuff like that. So I think for me talking to her is like he had a wife and kids, but he was mad that I was talking.

It's crazy, man. It's like a person that hate you. Like, you know, that's my little girlfriend. It's like, man, you're married, you know what I'm saying? But that is the initial reason. why he didn't like me. He was very likable with administration. So sometimes they have made you seem guilty by association because you talk to this person. But you know, he didn't even if it occurred for me. So administration, and another reason too,

administration didn't really, they targeted me too because they felt like I wouldn't let it go. I wouldn't leave it alone. Like, I was still pissed about being accused the first time. And they felt like if he keeps bringing up who's bringing the drugs in, we're going to have to get rid of him. Because eventually the truth's going to come out that is coming from up top it was the drugs if any youth leader bring drugs into the jail they're getting the okay to bring it in there's no oh i'm going to bring they're getting paid from the outside from people's family and stuff like that but you got a thing if you bring a drug into a jail if you get caught you're doing big time right these kids too why would you be so comfortable to bring in a weed pen with a charger.

Knowing kids make mistakes, they're in jail. They make mistakes. So if you bring it in, you have to be confident that you're not going to get caught. I'm the only one to get accused of this and everybody else still like drugs coming to every day. Trailsons getting caught on fire. Nobody gets investigated. It just didn't make sense.

So I feel like to them They feared me They fear as far as like Because they knew I didn't I didn't think that shit was cool I don't think kids smoking If kids gonna smoke but not here This is a residential place If we if they heard a change

And we heard of help improve them Giving them drugs, how does it's making them better You know what I'm saying And then we're adults We've shown them that we can bring it into you And you know what I'm saying I don't know We're like

How we said an example And I didn't think that shit was cool. And a lot of other workers, I feel like they were scared of the kids. And they wanted to find some type of ground to be cool. Like, yeah, I'll give you this, I'll get you that. You know what I'm saying? Trying to build a rapport with them that way. And I thought that was some weak shit.

So what ends up happening? Okay. So the next time I get accused was in July, 22, July 21st. It was toward the end of the day. I got a call by a supervisor that I wasn't seeing an eye to eye with. He called me to go on unit F. Now, mind you, being this one kid, I was posted. I allegedly was told not to go on unit F this day, but I wasn't.

But this supervisor called me and told me to go on unit F to relieve another work. I go on the unit, see one of the kids I know. I'm coming there with my book bag, do my round. So I go from the front door to the back. back to the front. So I'm leaving. I see this kid. I'm like, what's going on with you? I was going on with your little bride thing going. Gave him dab on the window. Boom, fist depth. And I left. I get a phone call. The next day, it's the court administrator, you know, called me up, run down stairs with my mom, you know, she's a lawyer, you know, and then she oversees

a lot of things I do, you know. So I'm like, hold on, what are you saying? He's like, oh, well, you're suspended with pay, you're under. investigation for bringing an inmate drugs. I'm like, what the fuck is you talking about? You know, what the fuck? So, you know, I'm just thinking, what the fuck? You know, going on and stuff like that. So they scheduling the meeting for me to meet up with them to have this whole

meeting about what allegedly happened and stuff like that. So I go to the meeting. I think the meeting was sometime, early August, like around this time. somewhere in August. I go to me, I'm confident, because I know I didn't give the kids the drug and stuff like that. They send the kid to wrote a statement

and saying, I bring it to him all the time. I'm getting it from his, I'm getting it from his friend outside of work and something like getting a friend paying me, which is a lot, you know what I'm saying? So I go to me with my mom, we go downtown, we sit down and talk to him. You know, they ask me all these questions

that really is irrelevant. We should just get straight to the video because you're saying out of this on the video All these questions you asked me is stupid So they show the video On the video it showed me not doing nothing So they're just looking stupid So I'm smiling

Me and my mom kind of nerve We extra fist pumping You know We're acting like Tupac and Snoop on America's Most Wanted We're That's what I told you I told you know They ain't got nothing

You know what I'm saying We didn't like that They didn't like that They didn't like that They didn't like to see me and my mom in there We're in them a mud But it's there You know what I'm saying

we fist bumping and everything. We almost in there dancing. And it was funny. I said, damn, they told you, because the lady, the dude that was interviewing her, she's a powerful person, you know what I'm saying. He don't work in the building. So he was embarrassed, you know, that, you know,

my mom, a lawyer and stuff like that. And, you know, they don't, and I think that that I was lying about this too. Like, you know, I was all, hey man, they ain't going to do nothing to me. They ain't going to do nothing to me. My mom, a lawyer. We're going to see.

And they tried to see. And we came in that mug, and I feel like we defeated them and got the last laugh. But just the thing, though, it was August at the time. It happened July 21st. The whole time we there, they had a one off of my arrest for this whole situation. I'm not knowing. So we go home, celebrate. My mom, we go out to eat, you know, at this ta-o-zine place.

Food, food was good. It was great, you know what I'm saying? So we eating some good food. You know, I leave, you know, depart from my mom and stuff like that, you know. I get pulled over, took it in for this juvenile situation. I'm like, what the fuck? Police just yank me, lock me up, take me downtown. I go down, no, I had to go to some precinct first,

and the next morning I get transported downtown. I wait, the detective come, and she was like, yeah, I suggest that if, you know, if you were, I was arrested, mug shots, took pictures, and they came down and tell me, like, oh, you're getting charged with, not charged, but like, arrested for this and if charge I suggest you get a lawyer for distributing in a jail and confinement or something like that and possession and confinement how do you fuck I get possession

and confinement if I never had a possession and confine me and then how I get distributed when on the video I'm not distributing they don't show me distributing nothing so this happened in August so mind you I'm still suspended with pay I end up uh get the letter in the mail about the decision about, it showed the juvenile sent back a letter saying it was found that I was unsubstantiated. The damage is done now. I'm arrested for some stuff.

You eventually end up unsusantiating me for, so why the hell was I even put in to be arrested? And, you know, after that, I had some type of meeting on, well, I could have fought for my job. I ended up resigned in September 6th, And I was so disrespected that I was even arrested for it. I'm even disrespected. They attempted this, you know.

And I had to meet with them. And I really felt like I wasn't going to even come back after I got accused the second time. Like this, come on, bro. This is the second time, yeah, I did it. But for me to get arrested for it, it kind of just like, it made me, like, hate law enforcement. Because I'm like, bro, you got this shit wrong. And I go to jail for this shit. And, you know, I end up speaking.

speaking with a detective, like, I think it was like a month later, you know, I was advised not to go down and talk to her, but I, you know what I said? I had to go, you know, I need some answers and shit like that. And I'm like, well, look, she never seen the fucking video. Matter of fact, when she went to, she came to the jail to tell me what I was being charged with, it was in August. I allegedly gave a kid to the weed, July 21st. I said, but damn, it's August. When I worked in schools, anytime we conversated weed from a kid, you called a police a media. You called a police a meet. Really. Because you can't have weed sitting in the school for days, hours. You can't have weed sitting in a residential stay like a juvenile facility for days. So she'd come to the jail, do my fingerprints. I say, well, damn, it's August. This happened in July 21st. If you're going to get the weed from the jail now, that mean that that same weed was sit in a residential spot that kids are in? And she looked at me and said, oh, shit, she released me on the spot. And I'm thinking of my head like, I'm glad you kind of stupid. but god damn like come on bro why do i got to tell you this for me to get out of jail you should have known that drugs can't sit at a jail you're telling me you're going to get it in this august you should have got it in july 21st then she's going to let me go it's like sometimes you don't want to be the smartest person you don't want to be the smartest person in the room sometimes because come on bro if i'm the smartest person in the room that means you're going to make a thousand mistakes and i feel like that was just stupid you know what i'm saying so she ended up letting me go

I ended up talking to her one time and she apologized. Look at me in my eye like, I apologize like the damage is done I think they just wanted to do this to you. This is the detective. What you're going to do about it? But you know, they don't care because it didn't happen to them. So, you know, it's time going on. I ended up resigning.

I applied for a job at my friend's job at like this like this little VA spot and stuff like that. And I had to go through a background check. So I'm thinking everything is all good and it wasn't. If you got arrested for certain type of charges and stuff like that, they won't hire you.

You know what I'm saying? So for like the last three years, I just kind of been, like, I've been working, but it ain't been the jobs I wanted to work. Like, I'm used to working in schools doing security, but it kind of got in the way of me doing it. Were there articles about this when you got arrested? It wasn't. So it wasn't blasted out or anything?

It wasn't. No, it wasn't blasted out. It was just like any time I go get my fingerprints done, and they do the little march of dime fingerprint things and it just pop up of what i was charged for but it never it never got no type of like you know no air time and it is it's like it never came out and it's kind of like the juvenile didn't really even want to come out because it would have shed the the bell out on them but you know it was crazy uh it was actually last year uh like seven kids overdosed in there from weed edibles

and it was all on the news everywhere. And I'm like, well, damn. You know, it wasn't no big, like, uproar about it, but it's normal. It happened every day and there. People that, some people I know, they still, I don't talk to many people here now, but during the time I was there, tell me about,

like, I think the day after I got suspended another kid was in the same kid was in the smoking. So I'm like, well, am I breaking into the building, giving them more drugs? I mean, if I literally did it, how is this kid still smoking and I ain't there? But like, you had a couple of kids overdosed not too long ago. And it's like, well, damn, if the drugs are still in the facility

and I'm gone, why is nobody being charged and arrested for the things that still going on? But I'm the only person that ever got arrested for it. But we read, we watch on the news, another overdose at the juvenile facility, but nobody did it. It's crazy. No, I know you said that the first instance you think was pinned on, you because you were with that girl, but why do you think the second instance? The second was, the second was, I feel like the second one was paying, okay, I didn't really

see out of eye with the administration there, and I was very vocal about how I felt about, like, okay, like, the lady, okay, well, this person that was a high-ranking worker there, she said well shepherd if you didn't do it the first time why do you care who did it shepherd and and and she didn't like me fishing for the answers because you know if the answers would have came out it would have affected you know the person in their crew you know what I'm saying and um you know how some okay you know how if you did something and somebody is still kind of fishing around you'd be like, well, damn, if they keep fishing around, it's going to visually implicate me.

So I think I had to, I had to get silenced and exed out because, you know, I didn't think it was cool to drug kids. And, you know, I didn't think that was cool, you know what I'm saying? And looking at it, like, if this is my kid that's at your facility that I see the world in, my kid, I see my kid being an athlete. and I might be trying to stir them away from doing drugs because, you know, weed is the gateway drug it leads to all different type of coke.

You know, it leads to all different type of drugs. You know, you like this feeling, and you start getting an addictive personality to the way your body move and stuff like that. It can lead to other things. They didn't feel it that way. I knew I had coworkers that be just like, fuck them. They smoke anyway.

It's like, well, goddamn. Like, it's just like, it's like, it's that easy to say fuck them, and it's that easy to say fuck them. Like, some things are bringing up, and some people say, why the fuck you give a fuck in and i'm like god damn like they kids bro like you know this person was a good athlete so they don't care and uh that's that's what used to shock me working there like

they straight didn't care and uh you know i try to like i don't know might be a kid that's good at drawing it's like bro stop getting in trouble stop stealing cause you know you good at doing this whatever but the next person they might not see it like man you're wasting your time man he damaged goods and it's like bro you saying this shit making him I'm trying my best to speak life into him and you saying what you're saying like a lot of them youth leaders they didn't care it was some they did but a lot they didn't you know so I ain't gonna make everybody seem bad but a lot of them was I mean they let them sit in people you let the kids sit in the room piss on their stuff and I called them out like come on bro stop doing this shit you ask like these motherfuckers

no no no no no no no no that's wrong bro don't do that shit you know what I'm saying time you'd be the one that got the biggest heart and other people don't like this shit. You know what I'm saying? Now, normally a lot of officers will smuggle in drugs or phones or whatever for monetary purposes, but these are child inmates. They can't have any money. Right. So what's the incentive here for these guards to bring it in?

Is it just to cause problems or are they getting paid by the parents or what's your theory on what was going on? You know what? Honestly, like some of them was like, They had family that pay. I actually worked with a lady last year, and she told me that she cashed out one of the youth leaders to get her son a weed pen and DYS.

Not actually at the same city that was that. So, yeah, the parents pay. You know, the ones that smoke with their children that think it's cool, they pay. And it kind of shocked me like, damn, motherfucker. But she was my age, and she was kind of a little rough around the edge. So I'm like, damn, okay. I don't agree with it, but I'm like,

Okay, tell me more, you know what I'm saying? But, yeah, some of the parents are paid. The friends, they will. If they're in the street selling drugs, they will. It's just shocking that a youth leader even, like, put their self in their position. But, you know, when they do that and the drug is found, they're making it hell for somebody that didn't do it like me. You're going to do this shit and drop the weed off to this killing this unit

because you don't work this unit. When the investigation started to work with who over the unit. So, yeah, it's all. always money involved and some of them some of the lane workers do it to be cool or do it not to get the ass by the kids yeah about the kids kids i ain't kind of like kids whoop his ass you know i fall a kid and at one time they uh tried to uh actually uh hit me with like a little cutter on my arm and i you know i had to you know what i'm saying do my thing on them or whatever you know but he was crazy it was crazy i mean he was in that whooping at whoopin ass you know i had

i think of restraining one time i slammed him cut them cut them and uh you know people's like then you're gonna let them slam you like that next day i come in i wasn't supposed to work you once you're after once you restrain somebody you're not supposed to work around the person you just restrained because they might retaliate somebody didn't get the memo they put me on the same fucking unit so i get on the unit it's me a couple female youth leaders and uh these two guys that eventually came on so i'm telling them like hey i ain't supposed to be working this unit i had a situation with the kid somebody pressed his fucking button he come out the fucking room like what the fuck is the hell going it's a set up man this motherfucker

come out the room and i tell this older lady she's so naive i'm like look don't open the door um why can't i open the door he's a kid why can i open the door i'm like look you don't understand what happened i'm trying to tell her you don't understand what happened he just he he want to ask me something i said no no no no no he don't want to ask him so she opened a motherfucker fucking door fucker. Cockback. I'm not seeing what's in his hand at the time. I know he's something.

He cocked back. He ran up on me coming downhill, trying to strike me with this blade. I didn't end up. I didn't end up punched him with the right, hit him with the left. B'bow! Hit him, grab him.

This motherfucker got to, just cutting them my own. God damn. Kind of where I got this little cut of her. Cutting my arm. And I'm just punching him. Boom, boom, boom, boom. This is what I understand. And I'm bleeding, punching them.

Child Protective Services is called again. How is this even a question of child abuse when this motherfucker is cutting? You know, make it make motherfuckin sense. So I end up punching the kid, you know, he upset, you know, he just punched me. You fuck, you cut me, you know. So I ended up having an interview with Child Protective Services with them. Any lady, you know, it kind of pissed me off. you know they are they they're some duma they people have never been in combat never been

fights you know they get they get the most out of shape person bread company eat motherfucker that never got into any type of drama asked you the questions so it's like you sit in front of me she's like what do i say mr shepherd what do i see you doing right there on this video like what is what is this right here you can't say a punch like for some reason somebody coach they're like don't say you through a punch say uh you're defending yourself? Just say you defend yourself, but come on, you see it, it's a punch clear as a motherfucker. So you can't see as a punch.

So, first thing, I mean, I see the blade. As I'm looking at the video, I see the blade. I'm like, I'm like, well, you're trying to stab me and I fear for my life, you know. I regret it. And I hate, I hate saying it. I hate saying like, because I can't like, okay, in the situation,

looking back, you're going to always be coached to say you fear for your life. I didn't really know what's going on. I knew that motherfucker had something in his hand, and I knew he was coming. Of course, you're going to say, you frift for your life but because looking back at it he do has a shank and he is cutting my skin so you can't say you for your life but when you get interviewed about it it's like what are you doing right there and i said well god damn you don't care about this kid you don't care about this kid but your job is to make the adult look like the bad person child protective services

to me they're full of like they don't really save the kids and they don't really like to me care about the kids and stuff like that and the way they move with that with that situation on all situations like when I had an interview with the child particular service lady about the drugs and told everything I told her and broke everything down I'm like well what are you going to do

about what I just told you? Well I haven't got a phone call besides what you said what damn you interview me you come in a you you know what I'm saying you you you you're coming to from what somebody's saying now I'm telling you what I'm saying what you're going to do and they're like oh well you know

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Availability and coverage vary by state and insurance plan. Well, what the fuck is you talking to me for? It don't make any sense, man. No, a kid like that, what's he in prison there for? He was actually, okay, he was locked up for breaking down a DYS. put a shank to one of the DWS workers there. Then he robbed a woman in Memphis, put his shank up to her. I mean, he was one of the, they read the article about him.

He's probably one of the worst, violent his kids that come through there. He was knocked out a couple good coworkers of mine. Like, one of the restraints I came in on Ashley, I came in, it was a guy that coworker's big dude, he hit him, boom, dropped them. You can't take a chance. You know, see, this is the thing about restraints when restraining kids. They want you to grab them. How can you grab somebody when they're throwing inside strikes?

You go outside. You know what I'm saying? You go outside. They're going in. You go in. They're going out. Some of these kids are bigger, faster, stronger, and then they're real accurate on their punches. Like they're trying to wrestle.

Burholt, calm down a little baby. Boom. Hit you in the mouth of your teeth come out. So it's hard to stop somebody just wrestling them because they're throwing strikes. Strikes will put you down. So, you know, nobody wants. wants to punch a teenager, but they're certified as adults, and this is a murderer. Now there's a murderer.

They certify and they come in with force. You got to come home to your family. I got a kid. You got to come home at the end of the day. Somebody coming to you with a knife, all rules is off. I didn't stab him. You punched him. So they're like, oh, you punched him.

You got a fucking knife. You know, I didn't stab him, punch, you know, but you're going to do what you're going to do. Do you ever wonder how some of the kids ended up there, like their backstories? Where things went wrong for them? You know what? It was a kid that I was actually a kid that I got close with, man. He ended up passing away. He was funny.

He could have been a comedian. He could have been an actor or something like that. He used to come to jail for the petty shit. I think he was in there for, like, having possession of a stolen car. I used to wondering, like, man, this kid's smart. Clean his room. he books all the fucking day. He had a little rough around the edges. And he ended up talking to me one time. I think he was in there for, he damned almost a year, but it shouldn't have been a year

because he ended up breaking out because his mama passed away. And he was telling me, he had him breaking out after he left his mama funeral. He was stressed out and shit. We ended up talking. And he told me that he was beefing with his one kid in the jail. And I always wondered, like, why you hate him so much? He's like, I hate him because he made fun of me in school for my mama being on top. drugs because his dad used to date my mom and got it hooked on heroin and I'm like oh shit that's why you hate him because the dad used to message your mom and got her hooked on the drug and his mom eventually not passing away from this same drug and I'm like damn like you you had a rough

motherfucking life and um you know it kind of explained like these kids coming home with to no food and you know they only got the best role models and stuff like that so it kind of like it kind of it kind of like put more in respect like damn like okay you know he heard because it is there's one kid told me a story by his mama got killed right up and that's why he say you know he was he always came in for unlawful use of a weapon so i think the neighbor with the mama passed away in he kind of was just like trying to take everybody off the board in the area and it's like damn like that's some deep shit like i wouldn't know the feeling you know what i'm saying so sometimes you hear the back stories like some

Some of them follow us and just follow the leader to get where they're here, but then a lot of them got some messed up moment that led them to that, you know what I'm saying. So the kid, I'm telling you a story about the mom. He ended up, I think as I was getting suspended and leaving the job for that situation, I ended up getting a phone call Halloween, 2022 that he ended up being murdered in the alley. And it probably was probably one of the, like, all of this phone calls I received because I ain't got no, I ain't got, like, a lot of friends. I ain't got friends that got murdered.

Like, close friends that got murdered. I ain't got nothing. But I got that phone call about him getting murdered. He was actually one of the kids that I went to one of his court days. And that kind of what made administration not like me neither because they felt like, of all the years, people have been here. No youth leader went to a kid court date for support. And I was one of the ones that would go to your court date.

Like, I'm going to go to your court date, man. Pray for you. And I show up. They didn't like that shit. They're like, he's one of the kids that broke out So they really didn't like it You know, they feel like, who side do you on? Who side are you on?

Who side are on? I'm on y'all giving them drugs, what fucking mean? What's the side I'm on? You know what I don't know? Like, I feel like, you know, if you care for a kid, go to, you know, like support them in a good way Go to their graduation, go to their court date You'd rather give them some drugs or something like that

I'm gonna go to their court day, go to their graduation. Like, I want to see you do good and not be high. But yeah, those, yeah, those, The next stories I see sometimes as well to turn somebody to who they are. Was it hardworking with coworkers who didn't care as much as you? Hell yeah. Hell, hell, hell. They make it harder for me.

I work with a coworker. The kid's supposed to get five to ten minutes on the phone. But they got all the time in the world. We got five kids and five hours on them. Look, give them 30 minutes. You know, I'm giving more time because the more time he got on the phone with his little ones, the more he comes. I don't want to, I don't want them at all the time. I want them on the phone.

Talk to his little girlfriend, whatever. the more they happy with they talk outside of the jail they're cool but I got petty you got petty co-workers I ain't about to give them all that damn time why not you got your cell phone

he don't got no time to talk to nobody you know I had a coworker one time it was a kid mom and dad both passed away and it's fool talking about some he was on the phone talking to his girlfriend

because they ain't supposed to be calling their friends just their guardians he said something like what this dude say? You know he ain't on the phone with his mama and daddy, right? You don't even know he ain't got no mommy. They did.

So whoever he on the phone with it is going to make his time go by faster. What's your problem? It's like some people were just problematic co-workers that make it hard for everybody. If they're in good spirits, they don't bother us. You know, and they just had some people in there

want their time to go by and be, like, it's some things that you can just like, slide that ain't that serious like like i don't know some people just won't control like a lot of ceos want this master control come on man like you know man you know man you if it get out of hand take control but some things you just like you know they're playing basketball they're getting a little little rough like you know like i chill a little bit but sometimes yeah some people they get a little rough they shut the whole game down now they're even more mad we got to walk them back mad behind us

Sometimes you can just be like, y'all just chill, y'all. Come on, y'all know how they look. Be reasonable. But sometimes you got people that's like, nope, we're taking it away. Nope, nope, nope, nope, but like, oh, goddamn, you know. Super strict. What's one thing that all these kids have in common in the sense where if they had a certain thing in their childhood, they could have avoided them?

What's something I think if they had it could have avoided it? Somebody to believe in them. Somebody to believe in. A lot of them don't believe in their self. So, like, you will tell them something. Like, yeah, you know, I feel like you could have did this. You think so? And it's like, hey, like, a lot of them don't believe in their self, you know what I'm saying?

Or have nobody to believe in them, you know what I'm saying? I think some people got to speak certain things into you for you to really believe it in yourself. But some people self-motivated, but there's always somebody might be a counselor somewhere. Might not be a family member. Might be a counselor somewhere. Somebody you just meet randomly there to give you a compliment that just change you. your, you know, saying your go mode, you know, the way you think to just go and do it.

So a lot of them lack having somebody like speak life into them or speak. Like, you can do it. You're like, bro, you're good at this. You can make it at this. Like, a lot of them are missing that, you know, they find the wrong thing that they think they're good at like,

like, yeah, I'm cold with that pistol. Like, hold on now. You know what I'm going to be cold with the pistol? You know what I'm going to be cold with the pistol. You want to miss every shot. Yeah, damn. Keep you up. How is your view of the criminal justice system

changed since high school. Horrible. I mean, I think it sucks. I think it's full of crap. And I used to be one of the ones that thought it wasn't too bad. But no, it's horrible, bro, and it's corrupt. I didn't think it was like this corrupt when I was younger. But, you know, I think I had to go through the situation for me to see that it was corrupt.

Like, because I don't want to tell people, you got to show me and they showed my ass. They showed my ass. It's corrupt. When I was in jail, I never been to jail before. I knew I was never going to jail. my life. When I went to jail, I said, this motherfucker is corrupt. It's corrupt. I'm in jail. I ain't never been to jail before. What am I doing her? I went to jail. I called my cousin. I said, matter of fact, my mama, my mama came down there right when it happened.

I called my auntie. My auntie Lindner. I said, hey, they take my phone. I'm going to jail. I ain't never been to jail. She said, damn me, what you're going to jail? I said, I said, call my mama. Call my mama. I said, call my mama going to jail. I ain't never been to jail. from my family to hear me going to jail. I don't never get in trouble. Never getting trouble. Man, I end up going out there, I think I called my cousin.

I want to get my cousin's up because her number was long distance. You can't call a long distance. It's Florida number. Couldn't call it. So I ended up calling my cousin and stuff. Call your cousin, he'll tell you what to do. He knows what you're doing.

He knows what to do in this situation. I called my cousin up. He was like, man, because when a detective come, don't say shit. I say, cause, I'm a tell you. I'm gonna tell him what don't say nothing Shut up don't say nothing God damn

Because he said you say anything They're gonna use And it's crazy because you know If you're telling the truth You want to say something But they go They want you to say something Spin it

And I'm like well damn Y'all ain't here looking for the truth Y'all here looking To like To execute framing somebody And that's not realized It's a system full of shit Like I don't know

Yeah it is It is it is It's like they don't care The truth don't matter Once I realize like when you tell the truth the lie more entertaining the truth everybody loved to say what I allegedly

did but nobody loved to say I watched the camera and watch the tape he didn't do it I sent the video a lot of people called me and said that you heard about what they said you did I said yeah I sent all they asked the tape but what I didn't do nobody said shit and it was like

damn you motherfuckers ain't gonna say damn shit that was fucked up well one person did a lot of them didn't even like respond back like you see the video I didn't do it, child. Nobody said, nobody. I don't know. Like, damn, the truth ain't going to be spreaded the way the lie was.

The system, the system ain't, you know, it's bad. And truthfully, the adult inmates, you hear more about their facilities than you ever hear about the juvenile facilities. I watch a lot of news in different states, Seattle juvenile facility. I heard they had fed an all going into the age, like the youth leader was bringing in Fettingol in the jail and I'm like god damn like the kids are getting that shit like they ain't a zombie mohoo like yeah like it's crazy and who like what immature worker is bringing in feton all to the babies man come on man they ain't got a chance like uh so it ain't just st louis

it's Seattle uh I know Mifitz I ain't gonna say Miff I think it was like Natsville something like there yeah a lot of Tisway's going on over there so it's going on there where you know so it ain't just where I come from, you know what I'm saying? I hope all these festilities can actually, like, you got the background check isn't enough. You know what I'm saying? You got to see, I don't really know. I don't know.

You do a background check, this person clean, you get somebody that's dirt. I mean, a clean person can do something just, but I don't say a clean person. A person with a good background can do something just as quick as somebody without a dirty background. So it's kind of hard to pick them. You know what I'm saying?

I came in there clean, left out clean, but my name was smutted out with a lot. You got people in there that's walked out clean, but they're active with getting dirty. They just, they just, you pick the person that runs drugs in every jail, they are handpicked. Now, you got some that just do it on their own. They're the ones that, you know what I'm saying? It's crazy.

Do you still want a job in law enforcement? No. No, I don't. My master's, no, I don't really got the, I lost my, Once they put the cuffs on me, it changed me. Like, it's like, you know, you dirty motherfucker. I don't know, like, I don't. But I do want to do something with youth.

And I think I just probably get into coaching football like I always wanted to do, you know, because it's something like it's my favorite sport. And I can still, like, make a difference with the kids. But as far as, like, going back into a jail or something or doing anything in law enforcement, I don't really, I don't got the same. like I don't got the same feel for it no more I don't think I would because I'm always I don't know I don't know like like even my co-workers like are you a good are you a good person or a bad person you're a good cop I don't even know who people are no

more because I you know these people that I was around I knew them for a long I knew them for a nice little period of time and just to see everybody turn away the turn it is kind of was like damn like you too you know so yeah I don't think I probably I want to get into football coaching um some type of mentorship maybe you i don't want to say a big brother program i ain't got the pace i do football or something like that but i ain't trying to maybe maybe it's football or something like that yeah why do you think you're so drawn to helping kids man because man i'm so drawn to helping kids man because it start with them and just like just the littlest like guidance or somebody to believe in you can just make you believe in yourself and change your whole

whole life, you know what I'm saying? When I was younger, I wish I would have probably had, like, more like, uh, male figures to be like, hey, little bro, you got it, bro, you go, you cold and catching, you know, just, just, just get this boosting, gas me up, tell me I'm cold, even when I suck, like, tell me, like, you could do that, you can do that shit. You, that's, that's what you want. And I'm the type of person, be a person that can catch a little bit, playing football, catch a little bit. I'm like, hey, bro, you got this shit. He thinks he got it. He started catching everything. You know, you want somebody to just make you feel, that you can do it.

Even when you ain't that good, just gassing you up to make you feel like you can do it. Girls, too, you know what I'm saying? Like, that girl, I see you, you know what I'm saying? You called it that you still a shepard? Yeah. You know, they get doing it better, get dribbling better or something like that.

So, you know, just, you know, man, cute kids need support, need somebody to believe in them or something like that. Now I always try to, like, be that energy of that boost. Like, go to the, when I didn't have to work the football games or girls basketball, I'd go anyway. That girl, you're going to shoot that ball,

you know what I'm saying hey I got the shit up hit that three you know what I'm saying something like that you know what do you think is the lesson that you learned through going through all of this I learned that everybody ain't your friend I learned that everybody that's a friend uh you can't just talk to everybody you can't vent everybody and um I learned to kind of like some things you can't speak on to everybody sometimes you got to like um think my mom I always used to tell me, like, you can't, you can't just, you can't just, you can't just talk to everybody.

And I probably learned that the whole way, because I used to be like, I'd be talking to somebody and be like, you know the motherfuckers is drugging them kids, and the person I'm saying that is the one that's doing it. I'm thinking they're thinking the way I'm thinking. Everybody's not thinking the way you're thinking. I learned that the hallway. So 36 years old, I learned, can't talk to everybody about what's going on. shit god damn it ain't that for sure for sure well damman i appreciate you coming on the show today man

man it was the honor man i'm a big fan i love the show uh shouts out to everybody back home you know what i'm saying family friends you know what i'm saying thanks for tuning in yeah safe travels back thank you