Locked In with Ian Bick - How I Survived Inside A Texas Women's Prison | Ariel Lakata

Episode Date: March 17, 2024

Ariel Lakata is someone you'd never expect to have endured the cruel reality of the United States Prison System. In this episode we hear how Ariel got into trouble, leading to probation violations that would ultimately lead to prison. Hosted, Executive Produced & Edited By Ian Bick: https://www.instagram.com/ian_bick/?hl=en https://ianbick.com/ Creative direction, design, assets, support by FWRD: https://www.fwrd.co Connect with Ariel Lakata: http://arielsinthesky.com https://www.instagram.com/arielsintheskyyy?igsh=YXh5NDBrbG90YXM1 Buy Merch: https://lockedinbrand.com Use code lockedin at checkout to get 20% off your order Timestamps: 00:00:00 - Intro 00:04:32 - Questioning Conformity and Finding Identity 00:09:13 - The Bubbly Texter 00:13:56 - College Life and Skipping Class 00:18:30 - Undercover Cop Incident 00:23:15 - Traumatizing Experience in Jail 00:27:59 - My Probation and Court Battle 00:32:49 - A Suspicious Court Hearing 00:37:23 - Going to Jail for 20 Months 00:42:03 - The Dreaded Bathroom Break 00:46:37 - Life in a Women's Prison 00:50:50 - Unsanitary conditions during lockdown 00:55:14 - Life in Prison 00:59:59 - Adjusting to Life After Prison 01:04:30 - Forming Friendships in Prison 01:09:07 - Reflections on the Impact of DUI and the Road to Recovery 01:13:54 - Sharing Your Story Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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You're like get in the line of like 15 women, right? And there's like all the other girls waiting to be processed literally like sitting there staring at you. Completely naked. And you have to get completely naked. And you have to do the whole thing like turn, you know, open your mouth, do this, do that spread down there. And a lot of girls are like on their period and stuff. And so it's like it's so messed up. Welcome back to Lockton.

I have Ariel Lakata from Texas here with me today to share her story of how a DUI arrest led to probation violations, which would send her to a Texas state prison for two years. Ariel is someone you'd never expect to endure the United States prison system, and I'm excited for you to hear her story and perspective and how she was able to overcome it. Now sit back, relax, and get ready to lock in with Ariel Lakata. Welcome to Locked in. Thanks so much for coming all the way from San Antonio, Texas. today. Yes, thank you for having me. I'm super excited. Yeah, we connected on Instagram. You followed me a couple months back and we got this on the books and you flew out here today. Yeah, you actually were posting something about, did you just have like seven years or something of being out or something?

You posted something about it. I think it was like four or five, 2019. Maybe it was, yeah, something like that, like an anniversary. And I had followed you prior to the that and I saw that post and I was like, dude, I'm about to have my my six years. And I was like, yeah, you replied like right away. It was, it was cool. Yeah, I tried to be as responsive as possible. I appreciate that. That makes me stand out from like other podcasters and whatnot. So I try to always be active with everyone. I think it helped builds community and whatnot. Yeah, it was really cool. So I, especially after that, I started watching a lot, a lot more of your stuff. And it's like it's pretty cool what you're doing. Well, thank you. And you probably didn't never million, never in a million

years would ever expect that you would be sharing a story that fits with the theme of the show. I know. I know. Yeah, it's definitely been a crazy, yeah, I just, I think it was, I think it was six years. I thought maybe it was seven that I just had, but I'm pretty sure it was six years in December that that was the day I got released. So, well, happy anniversary. Thank you. It's crazy. So tell us, Where are you from? Where do you grow up? What's childhood like for you? So I grew up in San Antonio, born and raised there in Texas. Had a really good childhood. My parents are awesome. They're still together. I have a sister, six years younger than me.

And I would say we grew up probably like middle class. I went to a private school, like a Lutheran school from until I was, I think. think in fifth grade. And then we moved to like, I guess the north side of town. And then I started going to public school. So, but overall I had a, I had a pretty good childhood. I, um, was in sports. I played volleyball, basketball, uh, kind of a little bit of everything. And, um, I kind of like, when I went to the Lutheran school, I would say that like I was kind of in trouble a lot for, for being, in a Lutheran school, though. Like, I really wasn't doing anything crazy, but I guess at that type of school,

I was, like, kind of in the principal's office now and then. And I was very inquisitive at the school. Like, I would be, like, a lot of stuff didn't make sense to me that we were taught there. And I would ask a lot of questions about it. And I think, you know, I would kind of get reprimanded for it. So, but other than that, yeah, everything, I wasn't getting into any, trouble really um yeah had a pretty pretty good childhood so do you think that if you didn't went to private school you wouldn't have like that like acting out phase that you would like wild

party phase that you'd have later on i sometimes i do think about that you know i do wonder if i'm like yeah like because maybe going from one extreme to another and then going to public school it was kind of like but but i didn't really start acting out until i mean i wonder if my parents would say otherwise. But no, I don't think I started really acting out until college. But I do wonder if it maybe had something to do with that. But I also really try not to like, like, I don't want to blame my parents or anything. Like, they were just trying to like do the right thing and, you know, had me in a nice school. But it just definitely wasn't like my, I just don't think I belong in a Christian school. You know? Yeah. I think that's a general.

consensus among most teenagers. I mean, nothing against that at all. Like, my mom is religious and it works great for her and everything. It's just, I think I was always like a little bit different. I think kids shouldn't be like forced into it. They should get a choice. Yeah. If they want to go there or not.

Agreed. And my parents kind of gave me that option when I, you know, when I had to get like confirmed, which I don't know if you have you heard. A confirmation? Yeah, I had to like go through confirmation. and once I did that and then we moved in sixth grade they gave me like the option to go to public school on I took it and you know it was good I still was like I was like an athlete in middle school though I was like had a lot of friends I you know I was just kind of I don't know

I wasn't getting in trouble or anything like that um you know, but I always was like kind of, I always felt like I was a little bit different. I, like, almost like in an existential way, even at that age, if you think about, like, what, an eighth or seventh grade, I don't know how old we are at that time, but I was like, I don't want to do this anymore. Like, like, so dramatic, right? I mean, I'm so young and I just was like questioning, like, what am I doing being an athlete? like I want to just be in music and so I had like a moment I guess that was pivotal then that I stopped playing sports and I was like I'm going to play guitar I'm going to play guitar I just want to be in a band and forget all of this I don't want to be like in the popular crowd and so so I kind of did that and and quit all the sports I was doing and then I was more like in the

the music scene all throughout high school. Artsy. Very artsy, yeah. And then I actually joined orchestra. I played the cello. Oh, really? I was in the musical theaters. Really?

Yeah, I did musical theater for all four years. No sports. Oh, that's so cool. Yeah. So we worked like with the orchestra and stuff and my parents would do the cast party every year all four years. Oh, that's so cool. I was in, Annie Get Your Gun, Urine Town, Hairspray, and what was the last one? Footloose was my last year.

That's so cool. What instrument do you play in orchestra? The cello. The cello? Yeah, and so I, but even then, even in orchestra, I was always getting in trouble because. How could you get in trouble at orchestra? Because I wouldn't. So, you know, we're supposed to play the sheet music.

But me and my friends, like, so we were in like a cello band where we hooked our cellos up to guitar pedals and guitar amps and played with a drummer and a singer. And so we like would play hardcore shows and all these different shows. But whenever we played in orchestra, you're supposed to just read off the sheet music, right? Well, of course, I wasn't going to do that. I just had to do something different. And so I would just go in there and just improvise and play. And our orchestra teacher, she would just be like, God damn it, Ariel. Like, it sounds pretty, but like you need to play like what's in front of you.

and we just could not behave, you know? So it's like, but that was like the extent of us being bad, you know? In orchestra, we were like the ones that were like always getting in trouble. But it was innocent, though. I mean, we never drank or anything like that in high school. So. Yeah. How do you think your friends would describe you if we had them here today during that time period?

During that time period? I think most people like say that I've always been very nice. I think I think I was always pretty outgoing and sweet to people I wasn't like mean or anything like that I was never like a bully or you know Yeah I can't picture you as a bully Yeah I'm so nice and bubbly Yeah I've always been pretty bubbly

You can always tell how someone how nice someone is by the way they text too So you're always like putting like the emojis and the smileys and whatnot It's funny because whenever I was like I felt like I was asking you a lot of questions through text And I'm like, he's probably going to be like, oh, my God, this girl is driving me nuts. No, it's okay. I got a ton of texts from just guests and, you know, information. And sometimes it's hard to kind of bounce around. But I do my best to get back.

I could tell you're just busy, I think. Yeah. But that's funny because I'm definitely, even in my text, I'm very, like, I never just do the K or the. So I think, yeah, I think that's how people describe me. I was definitely like immersed into music all throughout, I would say from eighth grade until like early college. And I, you know, I was just all about playing shows. I ended up actually graduating high school early because I just wanted to like play shows and do that. And so I graduated.

I was, I think I was like 15 when I graduated in high school. Oh, that's super early. Very early. That's like two years earlier. Yeah. So I was actually young for my age already as it was. And then I graduated early. So, yeah, I was just very, it's crazy looking back at it because when I, I just was so dedicated, like, I was like, I'm going to graduate early.

I'm going to get my degree early. I'm going to start doing this and then just play music. And then something happened. I don't know what happened. But it just, I was probably like that for the first, I want to say, maybe first year and a half or two in college. and then, I don't know, I just stopped doing that, like something changed, you know. What do you think it was? I don't know.

I think I was in a relationship throughout. I was kind of in a long relationship in high school, I guess for that age, a long relationship. So I was with someone like the last year of high school through the first year or so in college. And so a lot of them were like in the hardcore. scene where I don't know Have you ever met anyone that's in that scene? Like hardcore drugs? No, no, no.

Like hardcore, like it's like a music genre, I guess, where a lot of them are straight edge and so none of them do drugs. Okay. So. Yeah, I never really got into that. Yeah, I don't know if you, it's definitely like a very specific community, but it's, I guess,

the closest thing I describe it is like maybe it's not even punk. I don't even know how to describe it to someone that. But anyways, So they, none of us drank or smoked or anything. And the person that I was with was into that just was straight-edge is what they call it. And so I think once we broke up and then I was in college, I was like, what have I been missing out on? Like, this is crazy, you know?

And so I just kind of like kind of went wild after that, you know? You went through the party phase? I went through the party phase for sure. Especially probably getting out of a relationship. It was open season. Yeah. So. And then whenever all that happened, that's kind of when I stopped playing music.

I mean, I always played kind of on my own, but it was never to that, like, level anymore. Or at least not until more recent, you know. Yeah, music probably kept you grounded, too, as an individual. And you're passionate about something. I know. And I always, like, say a good way for me to gauge, like, how my mental health is, is, like, have I been playing? music, have I been listening to music? Because to me, that's a red flag for my own self. Like, if I'm not, like, if that's not a part of me or if I'm, like, avoiding that, that's, like,

not a good thing. To me, that just tells me I'm, I don't know what I'm doing, you know. It shows a lot of mental maturity to have that, like, to pay attention to those signs. Yeah, I mean, I'm, I've tried to do that more now, you know, I think I ignored that back then. But, yeah, so I definitely, I just started going through the party phase. And that was, so I was at UTSA for the first year in San Antonio, the university there, for my first, like, a year and a half. And then I went to Texas State. And then Texas State is really where I started kind of getting wild, you know.

So I always say, like, if I ever have a kid and they want to go. go there, it's absolutely not. Like, they will never, ever go there. Like, they're going to go somewhere where they can't drive, like, they're going to live in New York City or something. But yeah, so I was at Texas State, and I just started, like, I didn't, I just, I didn't know what I wanted to do. Like, I think I was undeclared or undecided, whatever they call it, for my major for the first couple years. And I just was like, I don't know. I just, like, I felt like I didn't belong there anymore. I didn't know, like, I just didn't care, stopped caring about school. So, yeah, and then that came and went, and that's when this charge all happened.

Was that during college? That was during, what year were you in, two years in? I was towards, I mean, so I had like a total of, God, I don't know, I would want to say I probably had like 80 credit hours by that time. So, but towards the last part of my college, um, I was only taking like maybe a couple classes every semester just because I was like work. I was working to pay, like try to pay for school. And so I would just end up working more and not wanting to go to school and just working 40 hours a week and just kind of taking a class here and there. And so, but that, so whenever this happened, I probably was maybe third year or something.

But third year was really like my fifth or sixth. You know what I mean? It took me a long time to get that number of hours. Yeah. So tell us, like, what the atmosphere was like for you? You said wild. So what were your weekends like? What were you doing regularly?

Yeah, I mean, we just weren't going to class, you know? We were just, I mean, so, have you been to Texas State or San Marcos? No. So it's on the river. The river runs through the college town. It's a real, real small college town. And we're in Texas, so it's hot all the time. And so people literally skip class to go float the river for four hours.

Sounds like a fun time. Oh, yeah. It was a lot of fun. But it's like people would be like, are we going to go to class today? Well, there's a big group of us going to float the river. And I would be like, who gives us shit about class? You know, and so we would just go to class. I mean, we would just go to the river and do that, you know.

You just like typical, you know, the apartment complexes are all. kids that live there. That town is literally run by college kids. And I mean, no hate on Texas State. I know I'm not trying to talk crap about it. But there would be times where we would go to like the Walmart that's like maybe two exits up and we would see like normal families there. And we'd be like, holy shit, like there's there's adults here. Like it was just that we're, it's just college town. We're all in our own world. And so the apartment, um, that we lived at, that anyone lived at, just has pool parties all day. I mean, you wake up like at 8 a.m.

and there's like a DJ outside. Wow. Like just sponsored by like Red Bull and all these. It's just crazy. And so it was very just way too distracting for me. Me personally can't do it. So at least at that age, I couldn't do it. So who's paying for college?

You or your parents were? I took out loans. I had, which I'm still paying off. Which you spent most of the time, party. Yes. So I did pay for some of it. But no, my parents helped me a little bit. But yeah, I took out loans for it all.

So even I never graduated and I still am paying off those damn loans. So I'm almost done. Oh, you never ended up getting the diploma. No, I never got it. And I have like 100 college credit hours and I never. That sucks. I know. I'm like maybe one day I will, but.

But now you have a great career that doesn't even remember. require a college degree. And I've asked them, too, I'm like, should I go do that? They're like, if you want, but I mean, you know, it's up to you. It's funny how everything works out. It is. It is. So bring us to the night that you end up getting arrested.

This is the first time you ever get arrested in your life. This is, yeah. Well, I had an MIP when I was. What's an MIP? A minor possession. Oh, okay. Texas is strict on drugs, right? Yes.

So, but that was, actually, is that what it's called? Yeah, it's MIP. So I was at like a Boston concert with some friends. In Boston? No, like the band Boston. I'm very behind on my band. Everyone rips me for not knowing TV shows. Now they're going to rip me for not knowing bands.

So I think it was Boston or Journey or something, but I'm pretty sure it was Boston and sticks. And so me and my friend, we were probably 19 at like an outdoor venue. and some undercover cop at the bar was like, hey, like, I can get you all a drink or something. And we were like, okay, you know. And he literally just handed us a drink. We grabbed it and went to drink it, and they were like, come with me. Right at the beginning. I mean, it's so stupid.

It was like probably very obvious at the time that he was like undercover cop. But we were just, we had no idea. So we got, I got, like, a minor possession for that. But I had to just do, like, I don't know, maybe like 50 hours of community service or something. So, anyways, but then, so when I was 20, I think I was 20. So this was like 2010. I was with some friends at a party, drove over to another friends after the party. ended, had been drinking, got pulled over, and had a pill in my car.

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So there's San Antonio and then St. Marcus where I went to college, New Bromfels. is like halfway point. So I was driving from San Antonio to San Marcos like at four in the morning. And I got pulled over halfway in Kamau County, which is a very, very strict small town, small like little German town. And so I got pulled over, got arrested. I had like a $40,000 bail or something and was freaking out, you know. How much over the limit was?

were you? Um, that is a good question. I honestly don't know. I wish I, I wish I knew I was, I was, I was pretty over though. I mean, it was, it wasn't like I was, because so in Texas, it's like 0.08, it wasn't, it was more than, more than that, you know. Did you have to, like, walk in a straight line or did they, like, do the road tests at all? They did do that. They actually had, like, two cops, I think two or three cops come behind me. Um, and then I think I, what happened is they ended up taking me back and then doing like the blood draw, you know? I don't know if that's like, do they do that everywhere or you don't know? I've never heard of like a blood draw.

Well, like at the hospital or? No, like they do the blood draw to like test your BAC. Did you have to like agree to that? No, it's like you have to. You have to. They just grab your arm and stick a needle in you? I don't know. I mean, unless I'm like, I'm almost 100%.

Yeah. Yeah, or it could have been that. So that's how they get, like, I think if you refuse to do the breathalyzer, then you have to get that done when you go into the... And you refuse to get the breathalyzer? Yeah. I just didn't know what to do. I mean, I was so young. I never, like, had an encounter like that.

I've never had, like, a lawyer tell me what to do. I've never, you know. Yeah, how are you feeling when they pulled you over? Freaking out. Like, but I was also, like, just... It was just so surreal, you know? Because everyone's like, why don't you just swallow that pill? Like, and I'm like, I just, I did not.

It was like, happened so fast and I just didn't think I was going to get in trouble for it. You know, I don't know. So the pill was the trigger for them giving you a breathalyzer? No, the drinking and the like getting pulled over for that. They just happened to be like an afterthought. Like they just found it during the search or whatever. So were you like swerving? Yeah.

Oh, you were swerving? So you were like blatantly drunk. Yeah, I mean, I probably shouldn't have been driving. So. Yeah. So they handcuffed you and put you in the back of the cop car? Yes. So they handcuffed me, took me to Camel County.

It was like, I don't know. It was like, I want to say it was like a Saturday or something so I couldn't see the magistrate until the Monday. Oh, you sat there all weekend? So I sat there all weekend. What were your first phone call like? Oh. And who'd you call? It was terrible.

I haven't, it's crazy because I haven't thought about this since so long. Like, I think about like the later part of all of this, but that was like the beginning. And then so much time passed until I actually went to state jail. So this first part, I haven't thought about this first part in so long. And it was so long ago that I'm like trying to put the pieces together, you know? But I remember being terrified in there because I'd never been. So whenever I got that MIP, they just put us like in a little back room at the venue, right? I had never been like to jail like this.

And I was in like the holding cell for like the first, I don't know, however long, like eight hours or so however long they're allowed to keep you in there. And I just remember like, you know, it's like the drunk tank. I mean, people in there are so it was the most disturbing thing. I think that was probably the most disturbing time that I've had ever was in those like holding cells just because people come in there. they're like getting off like heroin or meth and they're or they're on meth and so they're like tripping balls you know like freaking out screaming throwing a fit or they're hammered like and it's just this little tiny room you know it's like um like an eight by three like very narrow thing with just like um you know the metal the just like typical what you see like in holding cell

and then there's like a little toilet and so and it's disgusting I mean, it's just, it's so inhumane. And I remember right across from the holding cell was like a padded room, but there was like this little box like that you could see inside the padded room. And someone was in there that was like it was the most disturbing, like in a straight jacket, like, like smearing stuff all over the walls. And I was just like staring into this little hole in the wall like watching this. Like, I was just, like, so traumatized, you know? Yeah, and you're probably one of the youngest people there. Yeah, and they were like, they were all, like, they would just give me a hard time.

I remember being like, I'm so cold. Like, can I have a blanket? And, like, one of the guards literally told me this, this isn't the Hilton Paris. And I'm just like, God, damn. He called you Paris. He called me Paris. And I'm just, because I'm just like, oh, I just was like miserable, you know. So, but so that happened.

I remember whenever I went to go to see the magistrate like that Monday or whenever it was, there was this girl that was in the cell with me that didn't know why she was there because I guess she was just so drunk or whatever. And so whenever she went in to see the magistrate, the magistrate read her what her charges were and it was for like vehicular manslaughter. Oh shit. And her, I remember just like her reaction because she had been in there for a day and a half and had no idea what she did. And she went in there.

She was like two people in front of me and the judge told her the magistrate read that to her. And it was like, like I still remember her like scream, you know. Imagine drinking or being under the influence and not remembering what you did and then having to live with that for the rest of your life. I know. It's serious, you know. it's scary you know and thankfully that that never happened to me you know I mean I think and it does happen it happens to people there's people I was in a state jail with a girl that um was like a nurse and she was in there for like 20 years or something for like she killed like a

like a kid or something you know just like made a really shitty mistake and yeah it's it's pretty heavy, so. So you end up getting a bail? They gave you a bail? I ended up getting bail. And your parents put that money up for you? They did. That was nice of them.

I know, they're the best. They're the best, I know. What did they say to you when you got bailed out? What the hell is wrong with you, girl? Like, what are you thinking? Like, oh, like, just, I think they were just shocked and mad and everything they should have been, you know? I yeah it was it was crazy so so I honestly couldn't even like tell you how like so many years so I was on

you know there's like just the whole process of the legal system it takes so long and everything gets pushed back and all that so um I I want to say like I had to get a like an occupational license was the first part of it. I had to like, we had to go see a lawyer. I had to go to trial and all of this took like probably a year or two, you know, just it's all drawn out. I had to start going to probation. And like I had mentioned to you, I had the option to, which I wish I didn't do, but I

didn't know otherwise, but I had the option to take the DWI. charge and get the felony uh dropped for the pill or to take the felony probation and get the dwi dropped why didn't i just take the dw i you know but my lawyer was like i think it'll be easier to explain like you don't want to have that on your record your driving record is going to look really bad you know um and so i was just like okay whatever you know and so i ended up getting the dw i just dismissed or whatever and then getting on felony probation well she also probably didn't know that I wasn't going to be taking probation seriously so if I would have done gone through with the probation um that felony would have been it wouldn't exist right I wouldn't have gotten charged with the

felony but that didn't happen so basically long story short throughout all these years I had like I think I had three years felony probation. I had to do like 250 hours of community service. I had to do, you know, all the typical stuff. I had to do like in-house outpatient program where I had to go drive up there like three nights a week and take all these classes and all this stuff. And so I ended up getting my probation revoked. And then it became it, then they agreed to. extend it for another three years. So I was on it, I think, for two. I got it revoked for, I can't even

remember what it was, like multiple technicalities of something like, you know, me not doing what I'm supposed to. I think one of it was because I had to do that in-house outpatient program and I didn't finish it. And then it got extended and then it ultimately ended getting revoked again. And so Whenever it got revoked, like I'd mentioned to you, I ended up taking it to trial, which they offered me. Whenever this first happened and I took it to trial, they offered me, I think, like, one week, like a weekend in jail for like five weeks or something ridiculous. I've seen some like prison TikTokers where they're able to go and report in for the weekend. Yeah, I don't think they do that out here, but in like down south it, that's big. Yeah, it is.

And they offered that. to me, but I was so like, oh, hell no, I'm not going, I'm not going, I didn't, I didn't understand that me taking it to trial was going to be like, no, if you don't do this, you were going to go for 20 months, you know? Did you have a public defender or a paid attorney? I had a paid attorney. And he didn't advise you against going to trial? I mean, probation violation?

For a probation violation, right. I mean, he, I remember him being like, are you sure you want to do that? But I didn't really, I just had not grasped what I was doing. I genuinely did not know that that was happening, you know? That's terrible. I know. It was so terrible. So when, how long was the trial for a probation violation?

Oh, God. So it probably, I remember, I remember going every like three to four months to a court. And it just getting pushed back, like, for. some type of motion that he filed or, you know, so this probably, I want to say, and again, I'm just like going off memory, but I feel like this went on for like at least a year or two, you know, where maybe like a year where we were just like trying to fight it in court. I would go, he would push it back for some type of thing that he filed. I was always kind of just in the back letting him do his thing, you know, and then he would be like,

okay, we're done. And I'm like, okay, so what's the deal? he's like, well, they're still trying to give you 20 months. And I'm like, and he's like, but whatever, it's set for a couple months from now. We'll just, we'll talk about it then. And so, um, uh, the last time that I went, I thought it was the same type of thing. I left work. My boss knew that I was on probation dealing with all this.

And, um, I was like, hey, I'm going to court again. I'll, you know, I'll be back this afternoon because that's what I always did. And I go there and. And my lawyer asked me, he's like, why don't you ride with me this time? And I didn't think anything of it. I mean, I saw him all the time, you know, I was just like, okay, cool. Like, and so I rode with him. And I left my car at his office.

And so I just didn't think anything of it. Then we go to court that day. Everyone's getting there, everyone's seeing the judge. And I'm just kind of sitting in the back like usual. and come like maybe noon, I'm like the only one left in the courtroom. And the judge is like, okay, so case for so-and-so, Ariel, report back at two or something. And I'm like, this is kind of weird, you know? And so my lawyer comes out and it's like, hey, let's go.

I'll go buy you lunch and we'll come back in a little bit. And I was like, and I already was like starting to panic, you know, because I'm like, that something feels weird. And I'm like, what's going to happen? He's like, we just got to hope for the best, you know? And I'm like, okay. And so he went, he, we and him went to go eat. We came back.

And it was still just me in the courtroom. And we come back and I'm literally the only one in there. And I'm like, this is so weird. Like something weird is happening. And so I felt like I was about to have a panic attack. And so I was like, can I go to the bathroom? I'm going to go to the bathroom real quick. And he's like, yeah, just starting to come back.

So I go to the bathroom, like I'm probably splashed water on my face, you know, just was freaking out. And then when I walk out of the bathroom stall, there's like three cops at the restroom, like guarding the restroom door. And that's when I was like, oh my God. Like something is, I'd never been like, something is about to happen. Like they'd never been like that with me. I was just a free citizen, you know, going to court up until. that point, but they were like, they were following me. Like, I don't know, maybe they thought I was going to leave or something.

And so I, at that point, I, like, knew, I felt like I was about to throw up. I was like, something is going to happen. I go back in there. And from that point on, like, the next hour was, like, a total blur. It was like, I had realized, basically, that I was like, this is my trial. And how did I not know that? Yeah, how would you not know? not know that. Why wouldn't your attorney say, hey, this is your trial? I don't know if he was trying to like just not freak me out maybe.

Was there a jury or it's just a judge? No, it's just a judge. Because it's probation, right? I don't think. Yeah, it was the judge and it was the, like the, like the DA and my probation officer in there. So it's not a real trial. It's like a hearing. It's like a hearing. It's like a hearing. It's like a hearing. It's like a hearing. It's like a. Yeah. And so they. I guess like very last minute towards the end, I guess they like, you know, like the probation officer went up and like pled her case or whatever. The prosecutor would like ask her questions. And the two of them are in cahoots. Of course. She was probably saying you're the worst person to handle. Oh, yes. Yep.

And so after that, my attorney's like, I think you need to go take the stand. And I was like, I'm not prepared for this. Like, are you serious? And he's like, he's going to, he's going to give you such a hard time, though. Just be honest. And I, so I was like, okay, I guess I'll go take the stand. So they put me on the stand.

And that prosecutor, oh my God, it was, it was horrible. I mean, it was like, just what you picture, like, he totally, like, ripped me a new asshole up there, you know, like. just yeah and I couldn't handle it you know I was I was just freaking I totally broke down you know and then um right after that they basically were like okay 20 months right there right there yeah not not like right when I was on the stand but like just like right after was the sentencing because he he's the one that finds you guilty yeah yeah so at that point that day I got sentenced to 20 months got arrested right there

on the stand. What was your last meal when you're at lunch at that? That is a good question. I ain't, I know where we ate, so I probably had a sandwich. Last meal is a free woman. Yes. Wow, that sucks. So your parents had no idea?

They had no idea. And that's the thing. Like, I always was kind of like trying to deal with it on my own. I mean, I was like ashamed of the whole situation, right? But if I had known that that was like my trial, I would have like had people there. I wouldn't have told my my boss I was going to be back at two, you know, like I generally didn't know.

It's such a scary thought when you're on probation. You go to visit your probation officer or a court hearing because you don't know if you're walking out of there. You don't. It is such a scary feeling, right? I remember just always being super paranoid walking into that damn office. Like, just because it's like, oh, it's just an awful, awful feeling, you know? And they treat you like you're just like this like animal, you know?

Yeah. So. So they take you away from the courtroom. What's going through your mind? I was definitely crying. I asked, like, my lawyer to, I handed him everything was like, call my mom, like, you know, just hear my car keys. Like, and he was just like, I could, I mean, I could tell he was just like, fuck. You know, this is so shitty.

And I'm sure it was hard, but yeah. So they take me back into, like, one of the back rooms, and they end up just taking me to Camel County jail. So I was back in that county cell that I was, what, like six years prior in that holding tank. So you're 26 about at this time? I was probably, yeah, 26, maybe. See, that's fucked about the probation because you're just, it's so. so long. You've been on probation

already six years with all the violations. I was on probation almost seven years. That's crazy. It was crazy. So I still, and this is just probably sounds so stupid, but even hearing them tell me that I got sentenced 20 months, I still didn't grasp

that I was going to be there for 20 months from that day forward like for a while. Like I was like, no, they're going to get me out of here. Like, I didn't, I'd just never done this before, you know. I thought that, that, you know, they were going to find some way to bail me out, but I'm like, okay, there's no bond when you get, I just didn't know, I didn't understand how the whole process works. So, so I went into the holding cell.

This time, they treat me like, like I live there, you know, so I was in the holding cell, but really they were just trying to get me a bunk ready and stuff. So I ended up going, getting like a bunk assigned. And it's such a terrible thing, right? When you're, I remember being so relieved when I got a bunk, you know, just because you're like, get me out of that holding cell. And with how terrible like the pods and all that stuff are, at least you have a damn bed, you know, a bed. Are you locked in like an individual cell or is it like a dorm, open dorm? It's like a dorm, but it's only like maybe 12 girls. How are the girls looking at you when you're walking in there with your bed stuff all, you know, bundled up and you're in your bag?

How are they treating you? A lot of them are like, you look so sweet. What are you doing here? Like one of them asked if I was in there for stealing flowers, which I thought was so, or like I think I was asked like they're for skipping choir class or something. It's super nice, though. Everyone was like super nice to me. What were some of the other charges they were there for? A lot of them were there for meth in that county.

A lot of meth charges. I think that actually all were. Would this be where you do your entire stay? No. I only was there for actually pull chain pretty quickly, like maybe a month. And then where'd they move you to? To the state jail facility in Houston. Okay.

So tell us about that. What's that? Like how they transport you there? They transported me in like a paddy wagon type thing. had like the, I think in Kumau we had like green and white striped jumpsuits, like the shirt and the pants. So I was wearing that to transport and I had like the shackles here to my feet and on the waist, you know? So that was like, I don't know, like maybe a three hour drive or something. And it's crazy, but I like had to go to the bathroom like halfway through.

and so we they stopped to get something and they were like go to the bathroom go to the bathroom now and I'm like okay thinking they're going to like I don't know what what I thought they were going to do but they're just like all right go and I was like you want me to go in the gas station bathroom like this oh they brought you into the gas station with the shackles on my feet are people like looking at you weird everyone's like what the they probably think you're a killer or something I know it was awful So, yeah, that was crazy. So that was the transport thing. And, yeah, they were nice, though.

I mean, the people that transported me, they were just like, oh, your situation sounds terrible. Like, you know, some of the guards or the officers are nice, you know, and some of them are not at all. But so then I get to Houston was kind of full. freaking out. I just didn't know. You know, it just looks like a big, like a prison, you know.

It's, I actually, I mean, I don't call it prison. I wonder, I actually want to know what your thoughts are on that. Like, to, like, because you were in a federal prison, right? I call it all the same. You call it all the same? Because I'm like, well, I was in a, I was in a state jail. I mean,

it's, I'm sure it's different. People are like, oh, I never went to, when they, you know, we're talking about having someone on the show, they're like, oh, you know, I never went to prison. though, but I went to jail. I'm like, to me, it's all the same shit. Prison jail. I know there's like physical differences, but either way, you're locked up.

You had that experience. For sure. It's the same thing. It's the same thing, yeah. I would say the only big difference if someone did like a weekend in a police station versus something else. Yeah. But other than that, like there's different, like in the federal prison system, there's not

necessarily counties, but the detention centers are very similar to the county jails. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. Yep. That's true. So you got to this new facility. I got to this new facility.

You know, it's just out like acres down this like just like huge like acres of property, you know. I mean, I don't know how many acres. It's a huge facility though. And so they pull you, they pull me up and I get like basically get like, basically get like, tossed into this like like I think they called them like like the bullpen or something you know and uh there's probably like maybe 50 girls and they're all getting dropped off like from their counties and uh we're basically sitting in this like cage um waiting to get processed and getting like our our prison whites and our you know our shoes and all that stuff and the thing

The thing about the women's prison though, or like women's jail that's so messed up is like, not to give like TMI or anything, but they don't give you like there, they don't give you like tampons and stuff like that. And so whenever we would get like strip searched, it's not private at all. I mean, we're like getting a line of like 15 women. My grandmother slept in a futon her whole life. Lived a 96, walked every day. I thought that wisdom was lost. Then I found Air Weave. The Japanese Futan reimagined.

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And there's like all the other girls waiting to be processed literally like sitting there staring at you. Naked. Completely naked. And you have to get completely naked. And you have to do the whole thing, like, you know, open your mouth, do this, do that spread down there. And a lot of girls are, like, on their period and stuff. And so it's like, it's so messed up.

They don't let you leave a tampon in or anything? No, you can't even have one. At all in the prison? So you couldn't, it depends on where you're coming from. But no, you have, and if you have one in, you have to pull it out in front of everyone. That's fucking disgusting. It's so disgusting. So now, do women have to squat, like, twice?

like one in the back and one in like the front how does that work for a little bit? I wish I would remember like the whole dance because I would like I just but I can't remember but it's like this whole thing where you have to like you have to like no you just do it

you do it from the back but you just have to like bend really far over yeah so like men they would have us lift our sack. Yeah so that would be like that and you squat and cough and then you lift the sack for that one. Oh it's so like degree Right.

I know. You're telling me. Especially when you're sitting there naked, they don't do it in front of other men, though. You kind of have, like, your individual thing. But I can't believe they made all the women see each other. Do that. Yeah. And if you're like, with girls that are on their period, it's like, I remember one girl is, like, crying, you know, just because she's like, I mean, it's embarrassing.

It's so embarrassing. Are they, like, sizing you up the other women? Like, you guys scoping each other out. I will say, I think we're all, like, so humiliated for, like, women in general that I don't think. that I don't think it was like, like, girls would hand each other like towels and be like, I'm sorry, you know, it's like it's so terrible. You know, I think that I think that I was kind of surprised with how much like the women would come together, you know. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, if you, if you're like real messy and you're like getting in people's business, yeah, you're going to like get a lot of shit talk to, you know, get your ass beat. But for the most part of it's like a lot of women in there were. just nice and just trying to like do their time quietly, you know. Did you ever get in any fights or anyone try to approach you for a fight? So do you think if you're, is it possible to just stay out of the way and be safe? I mean, I, yeah, I never, yeah, that just never happened to me.

I mean, I'm so thankful for that, you know, but I think I think you could stay out of the way, you know. What would you do the past the time? What was a typical day like for you? And did you have a job? Yeah. So when I first got there, I started working in like in the segregation hall or whatever. Oh, in the shoe? Yeah, in the shoe.

I was like a porter. Oh, okay. So, man, that was tough. It was pretty nasty. So, but see, we don't get paid at all in there. Oh, yeah, Texas doesn't pay inmates. I don't know if it's just Texas or if it's just state jail. No, I think it's Texas.

Isn't? So messed up. I mean, federal is different, but Texas, yeah, Texas doesn't pay all the state jails. We had a couple people on from Texas. Yeah, it's crazy. So I was working like 40 hours a week and just like. So were you in like a low security facility? Yeah, so it was like a, like a passing facility.

I don't know what that's called, but it's like a lot. So a lot of people were in there that were waiting to pull chain to the federal prison that they were going to. So a lot of people were in there for, it was like a very big variety of charges. We hear a lot about like the rules men create in prison. What kind of rules do women create? Like what do you mean? So we had like you have to sit to pee in the cell. But women already sit to pee.

I'm trying to think. Like you don't sit on someone else's bed. You don't like put your shoes on their bed. Yeah, no sitting on knocking on the table to get. get up before you leave. I never heard that. Yeah, were there any rules that you guys? Not that I can think of.

It was just normal. They were living normally? Yeah. I mean, I think there was like unspoken rules like the like the sitting on someone's bed. That's, yeah, you definitely would not do that. Like if someone had like a hustle that like like like, like, it's a lot of people like women would, for commissary money, they would like wash other people. clothes. Did y'all do that? Did you all ever have people wash clothes for each other? Yeah, so you would leave it in your laundry bag on your bed and your bed and then they would come pick it up and then you would leave

a couple of mackerel's like the fish pouches, which was our currency. And they would, I think it was like three mackerel. They'd wash it, fold it and put it back on your bed and the laundry bag. Would they wash it in the sinks and the cell? No, I mean, when you're in the shoe they would but otherwise like you would shower with your boxers because these guys wouldn't wash your boxers for you. Yeah. And then they would just put the whole laundry bag in the laundry machines and man it because they would always get filled and stuff so these guys would do it for you and then guys would like own the machines even though so you all had machines though yeah we had machines in the units yeah which was cool we would wash our stuff in the shower like even like the heavy like clothes really yeah it was crazy so but but we had um I would say like if someone

is so say I had a girl that would do my laundry right and I would buy her like five dollars worth of stuff on commissary, you know, every couple of weeks or support. I would say if that's like my girl that does my laundry, like you wouldn't come try to take her job for me. Like you wouldn't, someone else, like it wouldn't be cool for someone else to be like, hey, let me do your laundry next time. It's like, no, I already have someone. You don't do that.

Yeah, you don't step on someone else's hustle. Yeah. What was the currency? What were they using over there? Ramen mainly, of course. ramen um did you have a favorite commissary meal um okay so i am vegetarian i actually was vegetarian i don't eat meat at all i don't eat meat at all i've been a vegetarian since like i think eighth grade or something yeah so how does a vegetarian do i was a vegetarian the whole time in there

or are they only giving you beans in the chowl? Yes basically so um but it's funny because a lot of the girls would love to go in line with me because I would give them like my chicken or whatever and they would just give me like their vegetable sides, you know. Oh, so you wouldn't order the vegetarian option. You would just get the full regular one. We didn't have it. It was just like a one-plater.

That was it? Mm-hmm. Oh, so in the feds, they have kosher options. They have vegetarian. They have all these different types of, had the heart-healthy ones. Oh, really? Yeah, no. We had no option.

It was just like, here's your whatever. The vegetarian ones were always the same shit, though. Oh, I'm sure. It was beans and, like, beans and, like, collard greens. Yeah, and rice. No, I don't even think we ever had rice. It was always like Pinto beans and like the medley of like corn and carrots. Speaking of vegetarian, I got these really good veggie burgers.

It's like a mushroom risotto. But that on an English muffin toasted with some mozzarella cheese. It's pretty good. What kind of veggie burger brand are they? Do you know? I forgot. I got them at the local supermarket. Send it to me.

Yeah. They're so good. That's awesome. I love risotto and mushroom. That's a great flavor. That sounds delicious. Yeah, so on commissary, I would just buy, like, a ton of oatmeal, like, peanut butter. That was my go-to, though.

I would make, like, the brown sugar maple oatmeal. So good. And then I would put, like, a scoop of peanut butter in it, and then, like, a little bit of coffee. Coffee? It was delicious. It's my favorite. Just the powder? Just, like, or, no, I would, like, make the coffee just real, like, almost like espresso-like,

and then I would just put it in the cup. It was so good. I like still sometimes we'll crave it. Interesting. What was like probably the strangest thing you witnessed in the woman's prison? Strangest? Um, I mean, I saw some like pretty disturbing things. Like, um, you know, people that, like, whenever, like, people would find out that someone was in there for, like, aggravated assault of, like, a child, like, sexual assault or something like that with women, too.

Like some women were in there for that They would get bullied really really bad And so that that was always kind of like That was pretty wild to see But Other than that Yeah and I would say just the stuff about like the period And all that stuff was just terrible

Like so in the state jail I'm sure y'all had like lockdown and stuff too right I'm sure that's like a universal thing right? But you were in dorms, right? We were in dorms, yeah. I was in a dorm with like 60 women. So how would the lockdown work in that scenario? We just couldn't leave our bunk for like a week.

Were you on the top or the bottom? I was on the top, yeah. So that, so again, being a woman and being on the time of a month and not being able to shower and do all that is just disgusting. It's so unsanitary. Probably gets smelly, right? It's just so gross. Yeah. Unfortunately, I was never on it. Yeah, there's, oh, yeah, and there's no AC in there. And it's hot. And it's Texas. So, I mean, it would be like, oh my gosh, it would just be so hot in there. Like, so that was pretty wild. So they sell fans on commissary?

No. I know on the feds you could get like a fan for 30 bucks. And if you're on the top bunk and it was really hot, guys would strap four fans to each corner. They would buy other people's fans and just have it blow in. on them because it gets hot. No way you see is brutal. And I can't even imagine Texas. I mean, I read all the news articles last year. Oh, it was terrible. Like when I first got out, I had like, like heat rash like scars. Like that's still, I can still see. I have like bumps on my legs like just from the heat rash alone. See, that's like torture. It's torture. It was terrible. And you can't, you can't take off your damn shirt in there. Like, what do you mean you can't?

Like the first night that I was there, it was so hot. I mean, it was just like, we were dying. I mean, it had to have been like 106 in the dorm or something. And there's no air circulating. So I got into my bunk and to try to fall asleep, I was like sweat, like seriously drenched. We're all drenched and sweat. And I just took off like my top, but we still have like sports bras and stuff on. and I got a case like immediately like for a soliciting an officer like that's like the case that you get if you're caught like without pants on or like without that's just the case they give to anyone for for like if yeah if there's an officer in there you cannot be changing so if you're changing you get that case and so I got that like the first time I was there I was like are you fucking kidding me this is such bullshit how are the male officers with the women gross gross

like they're either gross or they're like no they're all pretty gross would you know like which female inmates had a thing with which male officers and stuff it was like an ongoing thing yeah I mean some of them were nice and stuff and didn't seem like they were involved with trying to get involved with that you know but yeah there were definitely a few is like so obvious you know

yeah you can always tell you can always tell them like this guy's such a tool Like what? Yeah. So did your parents come to visit you? They did. They came like almost every single weekend. That's good. That's very supportive. It was awesome. And your sister came to? Yeah. My sister wasn't living in Texas at the time. But yeah, whenever she had come back, she came to visit. So they're incredible. Like, and that's what's so messed up and that I just try to be like humble and grateful about though is that, you know, I just, I just, I. I am one of the few, like, lucky people that had, like, people to support me and to fall back on, you know, a lot of people don't. And it's just messed up. Like, how are they expected to go back into society if they don't have anywhere to go or, you know? Yeah. Do you think it was hard on them while you were away? Absolutely. It was my mom mainly. My dad was more upset that I think my mom was going through such a hard time, but it was really hard on my mom.

Yeah. Like they came because my mom, like, needed to see me and, like, know that everything was okay. And you came from a pretty normal family, so with not really, like, a history of, like, a drug addiction or prison. Oh, yeah. So for them to, like, go and, you know, see their little girl, like, in prison, that's got to be heartbreaking for them. So heartbreaking for them, yeah. I think they kind of got used to it more towards, you know, then we got to do, like, the in-person, like, the contact visits. You know, like the, we would get like two hours, I think.

So they would come, yeah, for the most part, I would say like at least a few times a month. Drive all the way up there. They're the best. How far was that of a drive for them? I want to say three hours. Okay. Not terrible. Yeah.

So, yes, it was just crazy. So I ended up doing, yeah, the full, pretty. much the full 20 months there. They don't give you any good time or anything? No. Is that because it's Texas or it's because it's a probation violation? I think it's because it's prob- I think it's, I think it's because it's probation violation. And when you got out, did you have more probation to do?

No, I did. Oh, so this was your, you do this, you're done. Mm-hmm. Yeah, and, gosh, I just, I remember, like, the day that I was going to get out, like, I just remember thinking, like, am I, are they really going to let me out, you know, like, it would almost seem just surreal, you know, because I just become so used to being there. I just was like, there's no way I can just like walk out of here, you know? And so, yeah, when that happened, when I was released, they came to pick me up,

I just, I'm like so curious, what was it like to for you? Like, like, when you first got it, Isn't it just the weird? I can't even explain what it was like. Yeah, I mean, mine was like I got out at like 4 a.m. in Wisconsin and they put me on a plane. And they gave me the debit card with my commissary that they don't let you activate until 24 hours later. So I had no money to go get anything because I gave the camp driver my cash, the 30 bucks or whatever they gave. Because he had smuggled my contraband cell phone out. So he brought that for me.

And that way can have vending machine money from in the prison. because like cash is gold over there. But yeah, and then I, you know, I flew back. And the thing with that was like I was, I was free, but I wasn't because I still had to go to the halfway house. It's like you're not really free, you know, like you're released physically. But then you're going the halfway house, you're starting supervised release. There were still multiple years. Yes.

It wasn't until I got off supervised release years later when I realized like now I'm free. That's such a crazy feeling, right? Yeah, the whole thing ate up with the investigation and everything, the whole process, because you're in prison technically the day that investigation starts. Right. It's not once you get arrested, you know. But, I mean, really, it gets strict on you once you get arrested because then it's those rules. You have all these probation rules and stuff, which is pretty unfair because you're not even proven guilty yet.

That spanned from 2014 up until 2022, so that's nine years of my life was under this microscope and deal. feeling with that. I know. And it's like that that was awful, right? Like just I think about that too. Like I mean, it was like what seven years for me or something like that that I was on probation. And I feel like towards the end of it, I'd gotten to the point where I'd just given up. I'm like, this is, I cannot do this. I cannot do this anymore. It's terrible. It really is. It's emotionally and physically draining. It makes you feel like like a shitty person and like you just feel like they made me feel like a criminal, you know? Like, so, so wild.

But so do you still, did you feel like institutionalized when you got out? You're the new host now. I'm sorry. No, I'm just curious, like, if you had things like that happen when you got out, because that's for me, I think up until like the last year or two, I finally first started to feel like myself again, you know? I think for me it was. like more like habits like little things like you know wearing flip flops in the shower getting used to that

um i guess just getting used to like you know sleeping with people like you know just like or sleeping alone more or less like not being in a room full of people full of people and men you know um i also i think i like probably like being alone more now yeah but not i mean it really all depends like i have my days where like I won't want to like be around anyone or I don't want to hang out with anyone. I just like to keep to myself and sometimes like I like to have people around me. It's just, you know, it comes and goes. Yeah. I do think I became a lot more.

I mean, I have moments where I'm pretty outgoing and, you know, but I do have, there are times where I'm like that too. I'm just like I feel like I'm become way more introverted than I used to be, you know. But, yeah, I think whenever I first got out, I was, I don't know, I was like, I was almost like timid, I want to say. I just was so, like, almost insecure, like just with my place in the world and thing, you know, I just, like, didn't know how to get back, like, my life. And it feels like you're starting over from scratch. Yeah, it really does. Yeah. But finally, like, after several years, you know, I feel like I've gotten that back and I feel like myself again, you know.

Yeah, that's awesome. I meant to tell you, too, so I did learn how to braid in there. So that was something that I did. Was that your hustle? I would, yeah, like, for close friends. I didn't do it like for, like, a bunch of people, but I did do it, like, for close friends. So that was fun. Do you talk to the woman that you became close with in there?

I do. You still talk to them to this day? I talked to, well, one of them I'm keep in touch with pretty, pretty often. She, we probably did, like, we had, like, the exact same situation, and we were in the same pod together. And we did, I want to say, like, a full year out of our time. She also had 20 months. So, actually, so after I worked in SEG for, I want to say, like, seven. months. I ended up, she, my friend that I'm still close with ended up getting me a job working

like as a clerk for the captain in laundry. And so that was so nice to get that change. So I ended up working there with her for until the end. So and the captain in laundry was like she was the best. She was like super super sweet to me. So you know, it's funny you have your friends you grow up with, friends you meet at work and stuff. And then you have the people that you meet in prison that become very close to you in a big part of your life because you're sleeping with them, you're seeing them every day. I know it's like a sister or something. Exactly.

I still, you know, I communicate with people that I was in prison with. You form good bonds. Yes, that you'll, I know. And it's like no one will understand what like. Never, because you're like, oh, this is my friend from prison. So not that many people get to experience forming friendships like that. I know. And it's like she knows, we know so much about each other too, you know, just because we're like

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So yeah, pretty cool. Have there been issues with the felony on your record like roadblocks because of that? Things that have been challenging? Yeah, I mean, I feel like so my

I probably couldn't get a job I mean I'm saying this I probably shouldn't even say that right but I think I was hesitant to apply like larger type corporate places because it's like they're always like I feel like they would turn me down because I have a felony but

the place that I work at now is very aware of my situation and it's like super super supportive you know so I My advice would be like, yeah, just be honest about your situation. And I think there are people out there that are going to, you know, set that aside and not hold that against you. But absolutely, I do think there are things that like I probably couldn't get a job at like, I don't know, like Valero or like a, you know, like a big corporate place that has those rules. But there are people out there, you know, that I like to think that there are people out there that would.

not hold that against you, you know? We always talk about like men with dating and felonies on their record. Yeah, so what's it like as a woman with a felony dating men that might not have a felony on their record? How does that conversation come about? It's funny because I think at first, well, okay, so since it has been several years, I think it's not as like harder. I mean, people aren't as shocked by it. they'll just be like, oh, whoa, that's crazy, you know? Like, you, yeah, it doesn't seem, I just never would have pictured that or, you know.

But at first, I definitely was a lot more like, I told you I was like kind of more secretive about it then because I felt like I needed time. I think time is on my side and just the longer that time passes and the more good that I do, people aren't, people are going to see that instead of like the felony, you know. But for sure, there are definitely some people that I'm pretty sure would be like, ain't going to happen. Like you have a felony. Like, my parents are not okay with that. Or, you know, like.

It's weird coming from the man's perspective, like being a woman having the felony going, you know. Yeah. We're so used to it. The men having the felony and the woman want nothing to do with it. Yeah. And there are definitely people out there that, yeah, for sure. I probably wouldn't want anything to do with that. What about like your friend's parents?

I mean, your, um, your parents' friends. My parents' friends. Do they like try to pry information from your parents, kind of get the scoop of what it was like? Um, no, I think, so my mom has like a really big family. Actually, my mom and my dad both do. Um, so I think, um, them knowing about it was like, it was nice for, for all of this. So my mom has 13 brothers and sisters. She's a huge family.

And so they all. So you can imagine my, I have like a hundred cousins or something. And so that's all, but it's pretty out in the open with all of them, you know, and no one really asks questions, though, you know? Like, I don't know if they're trying to be respectful and think that maybe I don't want to talk about it. But then there's a few people, like some of my closer friends that are like, oh my God, like just will like ask things that will pop into their head they'll want to know about, you know. But yeah, for the most part, people are, I don't know. I feel like it's a bigger deal to me going through it than it, like a lot of people, it's like, oh, that's crazy, you know. What it take for you to finally overcome, like, the embarrassment aspect of it to be able to talk about it, to be able to say, you know, to like to own it and move forward from it?

I think just time. I think, like, being established at my current job. I will say that my current employers, them being super supportive of me and not judging me over it, really helped, like, encourage me. The people I was working for before them would, like, was just, like, would treat me really bad specifically because of that. Like, oh, I didn't think you'd get a job anywhere else because you had a felony type of thing. Terrible. And my employer now is totally opposite of that, you know.

They're like, yeah, they're great. So I think that has helped. I think just the time that I'm, you know, gotten back on my feet and stuff just over time. I think it's been good. I've been doing good for myself. That's awesome. Yeah. What do you think is your biggest takeaway and lesson you've learned from this whole experience?

Don't drink and drive. Just get it Uber. It's totally worth it. if you're going to go out and drink, just take probation seriously. And I don't know. It's like if I could tell my younger self something. Yeah, what would you tell your younger self? That's such a good question.

Do you think it helped shape you into the person you are today, though? I do, absolutely. I think that it like made me humble again. I think before all of this happened, I think I had started to kind of lose a big part of that and um i think it kind of it brought me back to like who i really am i guess on the inside as cheesy as that sounds but but i don't think i should have done do i think i should have done the whole 21st no i don't but but i think you know i'm just trying to i think it helps me get through like a shitty situation by being like well it you know it made me a

better person, you know. So, yeah. I like that. Yeah. And, you know, it's interesting, you know, your story, I think, really encompasses the idea of we're all one small mistake away from ending up. Oh, yeah. Where individuals like yourself and myself have been. Yeah.

Just one mistake, you know, with as simple as, and you know how many people probably have had a couple of drinks and have driven, you know, thinking, oh, it's right down the road or, oh, this. Yeah. And they could end up, like, where you have been. And that's such, like, a hard hitting, you know, component. I know. And that's so true that you say that because how you were like, do people, like, kind of judge you of your situation, you know?

Like, but it's, like, a lot of times when I do tell my situation to people, they're like, oh, my God. Like, that could have been me. you know, or a lot of my friends were like, that could have happened to like anyone, you know? It's so true. So, but maybe it was just meant to happen to me, you know, I don't know. Well, Ariel, thank you so much for coming today from Texas. It's been a pleasure talking to you and hearing your story.