Locked In with Ian Bick - I Got Shot at 19 & Went to Prison — Then Black Magic Saved My Life | Ledell Johnson

Episode Date: April 6, 2026

Ledell Johnson grew up in Buffalo, New York, raised by his grandparents in what he describes as a decent upbringing — but the pull of the streets started early. In this episode of Locked In with Ian Bick, Ledell shares how he got his first gun at just 13 years old, dropped out of high school, and became deeply involved in street life. At 19, everything nearly ended when he was shot and almost lost his life, a moment that could have changed everything — but instead, he went back to the same environment that put him there. Ledell opens up about the mindset that kept him in the streets, how quickly things can spiral, and the reality of growing up around violence in Buffalo. Eventually, a gun charge caught up with him, leading to a 4-year sentence in the New York State prison system. _____________________________________________ #BuffaloNY #TrueCrime #PrisonStory #StreetLife #GunViolence #ExInmate #CrimeStories #lockedinpodcast _____________________________________________ Thank you to RAYCON for sponsoring this episode: Celebrate the moms in your life! Go to https://buyraycon.com/IANBICKOPEN to get 15% off the Essential Open Earbuds. _____________________________________________ Connect with Ledell Johnson: http://kolyacares.org _____________________________________________ Hosted, Executive Produced & Edited By Ian Bick: https://www.instagram.com/ian_bick/?hl=en https://ianbick.com/ _____________________________________________ Shop Locked In Merch: http://www.ianbick.com/shop _____________________________________________ Timestamps: 00:00 The Night I Got Shot 00:46 Growing Up in Buffalo, New York 04:43 Role Models & Early Influences 07:07 Getting Pulled Into the Streets 10:46 My First Gun & Street Life Begins 13:41 Family, Pressure & Temptation 16:24 Street Culture & Environment 19:09 The Night of the Shooting (Full Story) 23:19 Surviving Being Shot & Recovery 26:43 Going Back to the Streets 29:44 Arrest, Charges & Prison Sentence 35:03 Life in Prison & Survival Tactics 41:43 Gang Culture & Prison Politics 46:11 Staying Out of Trouble Behind Bars 50:07 Life After Prison & Reentry 54:41 Reflecting on the Past 01:01:41 Premonitions, Spirituality & Change 01:09:07 Finding Purpose After Prison 01:12:44 Giving Back to the Community 01:15:56 Making Amends & Moving Forward 01:16:58 Family, Loss & Legacy 01:18:04 Breaking the Cycle for My Kids 01:19:43 Advice to My Younger Self 01:20:17 Final Thoughts & Closing To advertise on the show, contact [e-mail] or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/LockedInWithIanBicka Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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The window rolled down, fire coming from inside the truck. Now everybody's scattering, they're running. I lift up my shirt. My intestines fell out. People start dying, left him right. It wasn't fun no more. I'm Liddell Johnson. I got shot at 19 and went to jail at 23.

Came home, almost 27, and I just hope to see many more. Liddell Johnson got his first gun at just 13 years old, and was fully in the streets by his teens, After being shot and nearly killed at 19, he still went back until a gun charged sent him to prison. In this episode, he breaks down how it all happened and what it really took to survive. I grew up in Buffalo, New York. What was your upbringing like? It was, you know, the average east side upbringing, you know.

I have my grandparents, my aunts, my dad, you know, he was in and out, but he was there for the most part. It was their great man, strong man. So your parents were split? Yeah. And your mom was in the picture. My mom was in the picture, too, you know, in and out of circumstances. You know, the circumstances of the 80s. Oh, so your grandparents raised you.

Yeah. Queen Jeanette and Ulysses the Great. What did your grandparents do for work? They worked at the wax factory in Bethlehem Still and my granddad went on to do roofing for Local 41. Did you have a lot of siblings or was it just you? It was just me in their house, but I got a lot of siblings. eight sisters and three brothers. Where did they all live?

Different places. My aunts, you know, foster homes. Some of them was, you know, out on their own, doing the own thing. But I was the only one in the house with my grandmother and granddad. How old are you when you realized that it was your grandparents raising you and not your parents? Well, they had me since I was four months. But, you know, I didn't get the realization until, you know, you get to school when it's, like, father Sunday. And I'm like, okay, grandad air.

You know what I mean? So the father-son basketball tournaments, I'm like, okay, granddad here. And I was like, oh, and I looked around and they got the mom and dad. But I was all right with it. You know, I was the only kid. I'm spoiled. I'm getting everything I want. So I was all right with it.

But I always made sure I tapped in with, you know, my parents, my dad. Like I said, he was always there anyway. So. Wow. So instead of learning like mom and dad, you would learn grandpa, grandma first and that's what you're accustomed to. Right, right. And then when I got older,

enough, my mom and my mom, you gonna come stay and I'm like, I'm good over here, you know what I mean? But I love her to death. Shout out to Gloria. How do you guys grow up financially? We were kind of like to, how I say this, more better off from the area I was from, you know what I mean? All the sneakers and toys and never seen nothing get cut off. Had lunch money every day, $10, $15 every day for lunch. Like my whole time in school, had a number.

enough to make sure my friends that didn't have had something, you know what I mean? So I haven't, I ain't seen no struggle until I got older, you know what I mean? And that's, you know, when life hit. But when they was here under day roof, I was good. What did you want to be when you grew up as a young kid? An NBA player or a wrestler. Hawk Hogan, I see. Got him on the wall.

Hawk Hogan was my favorite. He was always, like, you know, a big hero to me. even when we listen to a stem song, you know what I mean? If you hurt my friends, if you hurt my pride, I gotta be a man, I can't let it slide. You know what I mean? That's kind of like, it kind of like helped shape me, even though it was, you know, a wrestler, but that's what I paid attention to, you know what I mean? So I always was big on family and loyalty.

You can't do nothing to nobody around me if I love you. You know what I mean? How are you in school? I was good in school, man. I had good grades, athletic. Did everything, swim team, cross-country basketball, all the way through high school. I got caught up, you know what I mean? I started seeing stuff I wanted, and I'm like, I can't get this.

If I'm in a classroom all the time, you know what I mean? My boys wasn't coming to school all the time, but when I see them, they got the knots of money. They, you know what I mean? The car, the gold chain, with the same edge. I'm like, man, what's going on? I'm not doing something wrong. So I tried to venture out and got caught up, you know, caught up. Why do you think you were so influenced by that?

Couldn't you have just went to your grandparents and asked them for something? I mean, not, I got to ask them for more, but I've seen them and my father taking care of everybody. And I wanted to do the same thing. Like, still to this day, I'm the one I want to make sure everybody go. When I get something, I get, grab some, you know what I mean, hit a lick or something. I want to make sure everybody good. You know what I'm saying? I want to make sure that I can feel.

and until you need help with your bills or whatever. Pass out money on the streets, whatever. I like making sure everybody all right. Like, I'm going to say I'm the provider. Where did that mind's that come from? Watching my father and my granddad. My whole life, every time I've seen them, they was doing something for somebody else.

They was selfless all the time. My granddad shoveled for the whole street. He went, he went grocery shopping. He went and shopped for the elders that couldn't get out. You know what I mean? Every time he left, Do y'all need something? Y'all need something?

He was that kind of man. And I seen that and I said, yeah, that's, and that was, that was impressive to me. Like, that was my idea of a man, somebody that protected and took care of his people. So that's where I got it from. So it seemed like you looked up to him and your father. Oh, man. They were like superhittles of me because they stood alone for one.

They had friends, of course, but they took care of business by the myself. My granddad went to work and my dad, he's doing this thing, you know what I mean? Pops was a Pimp, international Pimp. He been, every state, different countries, kicked out of countries for, you know, what he was doing, but he provided, you know what I mean? And my granddad didn't like that, you know what I mean? But my Pops was grown, so it was really nothing he could do about it. But my granddad expressed his displeasure for that. that to me. That's why it was never a thing for me. You know, I tried to dabble in it, and I'm not going to say it failed, but my grandfather was so, I want you doing that boy,

you know, and I'm like, nah, so I just, I cut that off. So why do you think that you still ended up making bad decisions, even though you were raised by your grandfather and he instilled so much good into you? You know, no matter how much good your family instill. into you, morally, the right and the wrong factor. When you go outside, it's a different set of circumstances. You know what I mean? The yes, ma'am, no ma'am. Can I help you with that?

Yeah, I know that. But on the streets, how far did I get you? I chose not to be a victim. You're a wolf or you're a sheep. You know what I mean? I was a loved child. I was raised not to be a coward, so I always stood up for myself.

but when you leave off the porch, you got to be another way. And I just, when I got into it, I was the allure of it. And, you know what I mean? And the results, I was getting out. I was kind of excelling at it. And I got caught up. So tell us about that very first moment. You did something that was outside your character.

It had to be my first pack. My first pack and messed around and went and got me a Chrome 25. You know, everybody else had something. And I'm like, man, I ain't trying to be fighting nobody. Everybody got guns now, you know what I mean? So I went and got me a couple eight balls. And my man around the corner, he fell on hard times. And he was like, yo, I sell you this for $100.

I'm like, do it work. So he actually showed me how to, you know, loaded and took it to the backyard. I shot it. I'm like, I gave him $100 for it. And it was on from there. And I went in the house one day, man. You know, I'm walking through the living room because the front door. was right here. Granddad sat in his recliner. My grandmother was in her chair and the bullets fell

out my pocket. And it was like, time stood still. You know what I mean? It was like, everybody looked down and I'm looking at them. My grandma had this face and my granddad, he looked. And I just picked him up, went to my room, closed the door. And it wasn't really much to talk about right there. But my grandmother came in the room and she put some holy oil on my head and said, Boy, you got a deaf wish. I don't know why you want to do that. You know what's going on out there? She was still mad, and she went out.

Granddad still ain't say nothing. The next day, I was in the kitchen. He walked by to put his dishes in the sink, and he looked at me and said, that's what you want to do, boy. I couldn't even give him the answer. He said, all right, be careful. Be careful.

And I was like, you know, they love me no matter what I did. So even though it was wrong, they let me know it was wrong. They, you know, I was still, I was still their baby. I was still the baby. So not that they supported nothing wrong, they never did. They always stopped me and told me, don't do this, don't do that. But like I said, I had to be another way when I got outside.

And I ain't gonna blame it on nobody crowd because I ain't, not a follower or not like that. It's just I knew what happened to people that didn't stand up or be a certain way. I seen it firsthand. So I said, no, that ain't gonna be me. I gotta make it home. It was an era when, you know, people was getting me. ride for their jewelry, their leather jackets and first down coats, and I'm going to tell you nothing for me.

You know what I'm saying? So I got caught on that. This message is sponsored by Raycon. With Mother's Day coming up, I've actually been thinking about what to get my mom. And one thing I know for sure, she hates earbuds that constantly fall out of her ears. It drives her crazy. So honestly, these Raycon Essential Open Earbuds are something she's going to love. And I even bought a pair for myself, too, because I deal with the same.

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Raycon has over 3 million customers and the sound quality is just as good as those expensive brands, but they're about half the price because they're not paying for celebrity endorsements and all that retail markup. Plus, if you don't like them, they've got a 30-day guarantee. A couple features that really make these my go-to, the open-year design, lets you hear your music and everything around you at the same time. The multi-angular hook keeps them locked in, hey, locked in, and the multi-point connection makes it easy to switch between devices

without having to reconnect every time. And the battery life is crazy, up to 36 hours with the case, so I'm barely charging them. I've been using these pretty much every day since I got them, whether I'm at the gym, running errands, or just working. They're the ones I actually reach for it because I could still hear what's going on around me without sacrificing sound quality.

Honestly, they've just become a part of my daily routine. I know my mom's going to use them on her walks, running errands, or even just around the house, without constantly adjusting them or worrying about them falling out. So celebrate the moms in your life. Go to buy raycon.com slash Ian Bick Open to get 15% off on essential open earbuds. Thanks for Raycon for sponsoring.

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Get started at Redfin.com. Own the dream. How old were you when you got that gun for the first time? 13. You were 13 years old. team. What is that feeling of having that at that age, you know, your mindset? Are you planning on using it or is it just to be cool?

Honestly, you're hoping you don't have to use it, but you want to have it just in case you. You know what I mean? Not that I was looking for it. No. I just made sure if anything came my way, I will be ready for it. And it's funny how I work out because sometimes. if I didn't have it, we wouldn't be doing this interview. So I just, I don't, I really don't know how to perceive the right or wrong factor from that

because you get caught without it, you go into the mortuary. You get caught with it, you go to the penitentiary. And you weigh that and I, I'm going to jail. And that was that. But when I got it, I did, I'm going anywhere. Man, we're going. Where are we going? Let me go get that.

You know, I was a little hyped up, but not too much. I wouldn't say Bishop from Jews or nothing like that. But... Did you end up joining a gang at all in your teenage years? I mean, I was my street in neighborhood. I wouldn't say it was a gang, but maybe it was. Just more family-orientated. It's just all of us that grew up together, and we protected the block.

We didn't really leave off our street unless we were going to the store or going to pick up somebody We all stayed together. We was on Winslow, stop sign, a stop sign every day. My family, that's my family, you know what I mean? From the elders, I was welcoming every house on the street. And my friends were to it. Over here, over here, over here, over here. And all our parents played cars together and hung out together.

It was a different time in the 90s and early 2000s. And it is right now. You don't even see kids outside no more, but it was a different time. It was way different. Did anything significant happen in your teenage years? Me, I got shot when I was 19. So did you end up graduating high school? No, I got my GED when I went to a college correctional.

Okay. I went to 11th grade and I couldn't do it anymore. I was too caught up doing this, doing this and doing that and everything I wasn't supposed to be into. But I did end up going back and get my diploma when I got locked up. And were you still living with your grandparents throughout? High School? Yes. Yeah. Why do you think they weren't able to remove you from the streets and what you were getting into? It was the environment. We lived there smack in the middle of it. It was a drug house, a couple houses down when I was a kid. Al Sharpton came and shut the house down. You know what I mean? Put a big

X on it and the Black Club president met with Bill Clinton at the time to complain about what was going on right on my street, specifically with the elders from my neighborhood. And it was just there, you know, car bombings, machine guns, everything you see on the movies, it was right there. When something was going on there, tell my granddad, get the kids in the house and he had grab everybody up, put this in the house, and then you hear it. You hear it. Look outside, you see it.

But it was, they had respect for them, the elders and, you know, different people in the neighborhood. So they let them know, like, this is about to go down. Just get the kids out the way. It wasn't like they put us in danger, even though it was danger, but we wasn't in right outside. If we was outside and something was going on, they walked down the street, you know, get them out, get them out the way. And it was just like that. Do you ever think about what would have happened if you grew up in a, you know, different city or a different state?

I did. And I used to always say I should have been 15 in New York City. You know what I mean? The Fat Cat era, the Supreme Team, and then that wasn't God playing for me. Or I would have been. Or in L.A. when the Bloods and Crips was, you know, more influential. And it was like real street, gang, bang, culture. But as I got older, I said, no.

God wanted me be born in Buffalo in 1987, where I was to grow up in this era. So I've accepted it. But I did go everywhere that I grew up watching, like the corner. That's my favorite show. I went to Baltimore, my own fed. I went out to L.A. where they shot Boys in the Hood, where they shot Friday. You know, just my favorite movies. I went to the environment and chilled with the people and talked to the people, met some of the stars.

So just to get a feel on it. So regardless, you still wanted to be in street life. You were inspired by it. Yeah. That's that's all you see in together. You got the pimps, the drug dealers, and if you made it playing sports or something, which is very, you know, minimal, you somebody, but I didn't know that you had other options. It wasn't no doctors around the way. It wasn't no lawyers.

It wasn't no mayors. In my general vicinity, it was what I saw. They had everything. My granddad worked. He, you know, we had stuff. but I'm watching them they got the gold the girls

the beavers the sobs back in the day they had the sobs the snakes around their neck you know the mint coats I got caught up and chasing fools gold

because that's all it is because who want to get money for three summers and go to jail for 30 I know that now but as a kid you don't think about it you ain't making no long-term plan

so just the game. The influence, the rap music, you know what I mean, Tupac, Snoop, EPMD, Biggie, you know,

what they were talking about getting in playing it in a young mind. Whole generation got lost. And I got caught up in it. That's why I'm doing what I'm doing out and make sure the kids don't get caught up in it. This message is sponsored by Raycon.

With Mother's Day coming up, I've actually been thinking about what to get my mom. mom. And one thing I know for sure, she hates earbuds that constantly fall out of her ears. It drives her crazy. So honestly, these Rayconnescential open earbuds are something she's going to love. And I even bought a pair for myself too because I deal with the same thing when I'm running at the gym. And right now, you can grab them for 15% off. What's different about these is the open ear design. Regular earbuds block everything out. You can't hear someone calling your name,

a car honking, anything. But these things. just outside your ear so you get really clear sound while still being aware of what's going on around you. That's huge, especially if you're walking, working out, or just out and about. They're also super lightweight and the ear hook actually rotates and stays in place. I've worn them at the gym, running and just doing stuff during the day. They don't fall out and they don't get uncomfortable, which is a big deal for me. Raycon has over 3 million customers and the sound quality is just as good as those

expensive brands, but they're about half the price because they're not paying for celebrity endorsements and all that retail markup. Plus, if you don't like them, they've got a 30-day guarantee. A couple features that really make these my go-to. The open-ear design lets you hear your music and everything around you at the same time. The multi-angular hook keeps them locked in, hey, locked in. And the multi-point connection makes it easy to switch between devices without having to reconnect every time. And the battery life is crazy, up to 36 hours with the case, so I'm barely

charging them. I've been using these pretty much every day since I got them, whether I'm at the gym, running errands, or just working. They're the ones I actually reach for it because I could still hear what's going on around me without sacrificing sound quality. Honestly, they've just become a part of my daily routine. I know my mom's going to use them on her walks, running errands, or even just around the house without constantly adjusting them or worrying about them falling out. So celebrate the moms in your life. Go to buy raycon.com slash Ian Bick open

to get 15% off on essential open earbuds. Thanks for Raycon for sponsoring. Meet us the picture of the day you got shot. I was with the brothers all day. We was chilling. I was drinking that tango ray. Basically day in the block. We out there, we slanging.

cracking jokes, drinking. And it was at my Auntie Kathy. I was rest in peace, Auntie Kathy. And my cousin, girlfriend, had a friend with her that day. And her baby father came over and started, you know, you start tripping. I don't want you over here with these niggas, y'all,

going on and on. I wasn't there at the time. I had left to go bust some move. When I came back, they were like, yo, this happened. I'm like, what? We came over making a scene, my aunt outside, my uncle, you know, the elders outside. So I feel disrespected. So we're on the block.

We're talking about it. And I'm with my cousin DJ, my brother, Bo, cousin Dom, and we out there, we get a call. It was a big party that night, Buffalo, Rochester, the I-90 party. We get a call. That's why Grandad said, never go looking for trouble. such as such going downtown one of his homies called us like i ain't got nothing to do with this i ain't trying to get caught up in that yo if y'all want to catch him go catch him downtown that's what he's going to be at so we're like oh yeah we there we go we load up getting the van

blue mpv we go downtown now i'm we we're looking we go our separate ways we're looking trying to find me in the midst of that i'm seeing everybody everybody everybody like seeing me. I see some more of my friends that I know from another side of time from down the way. They coming out. And one of my men had a cut on his face.

So I'm like, yo, what happened to you? He's like, yo, you cut me in the club, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like, what? I'm like, yo, we got to join the car. You know what I mean? Like, no, we're about to get up out of here. In the midst of that, it's a truck pulling out the parking lot.

Truck pulled right up in front of us, like, directly in front of us. I'm looking at who's this? The window rolled down. I ain't ever see the hand come out. It was fire coming from inside the truck. 10 shots from a 40-Cal. This close, close range.

Now everybody's scattering, they running. Something said, don't turn around. You're going to shoot you on your back. So I'm trying to move. I'm shaking. I'm trying to move. That's how I got hit my side. I think it was the 7th for the 8th one that hit me.

You know, after the shots go off, you know, I'm a little deaf. because I, it's sound like a cannon. We downtown Buffalo. I can't hear. I can see everything. I see the commotion. I can't hear nothing yet.

Slowly is coming back. I didn't even know I was hit yet. So everybody come out and everybody good. I see the license plate and everything. I see my homie coming out and trying to do a headcount where everybody at. So once we all mount up, I said, all right, let's go. I try to take a step. My legs were like noodles.

I couldn't. And I got cold. It was the middle of summer. It was August 11, 2007. I never forget. I got real cold. And my shirt was wet. I thought it was sweat.

So when I touched my shirt, I put my hand under the light, under the street light, and I seen red. But in my mind, I'm like, I got grazed. They're like, stop playing. I said, now I got grazed, but I'm telling you.

I lift up my shirt. My intestines fell out, past my knee. When I seen that, that's when I got dizzy. I'm going out now. My brother, Brother Bo caught me. Him and my little cousin X and caught me.

He dragged me to the van. Cousin DJ, because DJ saved my life. They put me in the van, take off to the hospital. The hospital down the street, maybe four or five blocks, Buffalo General Hospital. I'm going in and out. I'm going on, man, call my grandmother there, telling everybody I love him.

They're like, no, you got to wake up. They slap me, slapping me, pouring water on me, slaps me, trying to keep me up. I'm fading in and out. I'm, my whole life running through. I'm seeing first grade. Now I'm over here. I'm seeing, I'm seeing everything.

I'm thinking it's over with. So they give me to the hospital. The nurses come out, doctors come out. They wrap me up in the sheet. I don't know how my granddad got there that fast. When they unloading me, they take me in, they stop me at the desk. Oh, what's your name? And where you live at?

What insurance you got? I'm like, lady, I'm dying. I'm dying. So they're telling her the information. They put the band on me. They take me in the OI, and they unwrap me from the sheets. It's red, covering red. And they're like, we can't do nothing with you.

So they call a surgeon from Erie County Medical Center, Dr. Jordan, Timothy Jordan, rest of peace too. That's a whole nother story. And they say, Tim, I got a gunshot. Meet me at ECMT. We're putting them back in the bus now. We're going to send them over. So they're taking me back out. as they take me out my granddad is walking over to me

he said you all right boy i see yeah i'm all right you said you sure i see yeah i'm all right i'm you know i'm going in and i was on he said all right you're gonna be good i seen him walk off and he rubbed his head you know like a concern her i went to sleep i went to sleep for like 12 days like half it was a coma and they wanted to keep me induced because it was so much it was so much i had i had to sleep i I had 30 operations, 30 inside and out. Holes everywhere.

Um, net down, holes everywhere. So when I finally wake up, you're just trying to figure out what's going on. You know the streets talking. And it's this, possibly this, but you know, we just stand solid, just making sure everything, everything. Detectives come in, you know what happened. I ain't see nothing, man.

You know, I ain't see nothing, because I got something else in my mind. So, you don't want to help yourself. We're not going to help you. Fuck it. They left. My granddad said, I don't trust. It was moving around too much. So he made the nurses move my room from 707 to 730.

They moved my room. And I started to heal physically. But, you know, the mental strain on it was more damaging than anything. And it took me a while to get back from that. I got good. Oh, we found this. We got to go back in. Got a bullet fragment over here.

We got to go back in. So they, surgery after surgery after surgery. I'm home for a week. Back in surgery. I'm home for a month. Back in surgery. This went on for like 13, 14 months. I had the Iliiots me bag.

He said, I supposed to have it for life, but I had other plans for that. So I heal. Now I'm angry. Super angry. Super angry. You know, bulletproof vests. everybody on go i couldn't wait to get back outside i ain't learned my lesson immediately i'm to be honest with you i didn't learn my lesson immediately but you know when something like that

happened to you you either go into a shell and you're afraid of the world or make you super aggressive and you and i got aggressive more aggressive and started it was downhill from there And then we had a tragedy, a city grill shooting where eight people got killed. And that gave all the police forces like Amherst, treat the Wagon, state troopers. Tijuana, everybody had full jurisdiction of Buffalo at the time. So it was hottest fish grease, but I'm riding. I'm riding. So I ended up in car with this girl.

Her baby father mad because I'm in the car with her. And he told, ah, I want you around myself. son. I'm like, man, you don't be around your son. What you're talking about? So he's sending threats back and forth. I say, okay, whatever. So I'm strapped every day. On this specific day when I got caught, going to the liquor store, going to give me some hypnotic and hint. I might get the credible heart going, you know what I mean? Start my day. She picked me up. I got in the car. Made it two bucks. I said, oh, no, I got to go back. She said, what did you forget? I said, I got to grab my money.

I left it, left the gun into my mattress. I go back, get it, make it to the liquor store, on the way back to state troopers. Pull me over. So we do a little high speed chase, but she's so scared. She taking her hands out the wheel, covering her eyes. I said, man, just pull over there.

If you're going to kill me, you're going to crash, just pull over. Pull over. The cops search the car. you got anything, now I ain't got nothing. Why don't you stop? I don't know y'all was looking for it. I thought you were trying to get around.

I pulled it over. They searched the car. The gun was in the glove compartment and broke it down, put it in the back. They go in the glove compartment. Break it down, the gun fly out. Freeze. They got me. I said, okay, man, take me to jail.

Let everybody else go. Nobody went with me that night. I claimed it. I called my mom. She came. They said, we're going to let your mom get your property. you know you didn't give us a higher time. We appreciate that.

He's a good friend. I took everything. Even my police reporter tell you. I'm going to hold him down myself. Let them go. Everybody went home that night. My mom came and she's like, well, what can we do? She's like, I don't, I'm going to jail.

I like, ma'am, he has to go unless he got some information for us. And I'm like, information. This is my first felony. I ain't. It's three and a half at the time for the minimum. I'm like, all right, I'm going to do the three and a half. They took me, booked me. My brother Bo came and bailed me out like two weeks later.

First, they gave me $150,000 bill. I'm like, man, I just had the gun. I just had it. So he's like, you want me to come get you? I said, nah, no, no, just wait. They're going to drop it. Went back two weeks. They dropped it to $100.

And they dropped it to $75. He said, man, I'm coming to get you. I said, all right, by that time, I'm ready to go. I'm ready to go. You know, he was farting in there, stanking, and I'm ready to go home now. So he comes bailed me out. Went home, you know, went through the process. And I got caught in 2009.

I didn't get upstate until 2012. You know, the lawyer running different procedures, Huntson, Huntle, a legal search procedure, just different things, motions trying to, I need another 1,500, I can get you four months, or give me $2,500, and get you another six months. I'm like, all right, my dad said, man, you've been out of jail three years.

You know you'll be on your way home? So the last court day was in February. And they said, do you need more time? I said, nah, I'm ready to go. And you sure? Yeah. Turn myself in. Bonjour, compadre.

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When you want savings, not surprises. It matters where you stay. Hilton, for the stay. June 12, 2012. What were you doing for work those three years? I was hustling. I was still hustling. Still doing my thing.

It was kind of like I didn't forget I was going, but oddly enough, things started getting better when I was out on bill. I said, man, why things couldn't be this smooth when I was... So, just having fun. You know, I'm trying to put some money together. Wasn't paying attention. Just moving like I wasn't out on bail.

I finally turned myself in. That morning, I turned myself in. Everybody came to the house. We had a little party. We smoked, drunk. I said, ride me through the city one more time. I rode me through the city. Took me downtown.

I tried myself in. Why do you think getting shot didn't deter you from using guns again after seeing, you know, what a gun can do to someone firsthand? Because I didn't want it to happen to me again. Because another part of the story I left out, one of my friends had it, and he didn't return fire. He was taking cover instead of returning fire. So after that, I said, I can't trust nobody to protect my life like me. And after that, I had to make sure I had it. I had to make sure that it was on me because I couldn't see myself.

If I freeze, that's one thing. But to have somebody else freeze up in your life on the line, that's something else. Like, man, you do all this? How you freeze when they're trying to kill me? Oh, my bad. My bad. I'm shot. You behind the car, the gun on your head.

And after that, I said, nah, I got to make sure I'm good to make sure everybody else good around me because I didn't want that to happen to nobody around me. But can the alternative have just been leave, you know, the streets in general? It was always an alternative, but at that time it wasn't for me. I was, I was mad. I was mad and, like, it did more emotional damage and mental damage than physical damage. You know, the body going to heal. It's resilient.

The body going to heal. my mind took a long time to get right the nightmares, paranoia. I'm breaking blinds. Whoever house I'm at, I'm paranoid. I hear something. Like, get out my damn window. I'm paranoid. You know what I mean?

So I couldn't shake it. And I'm still in that environment, remember? I'm still hearing gunshots. I'm still involved. I'm still, the homies involved. There's still stuff going on. And I felt I was in too deep to just stop. Especially, you can't stop right now.

I fell back and I restrategize, but I didn't stop. I started going harder. I started doing stuff that I haven't done until after I got shot. You know what I mean? And serious events and bad choices. No excuses. No excuses. Just that's what it was.

So now you go to prison for three and a half years? Yeah. Where do they send you? First they sent me downtown. Then I went to Arden. Then I went to Wendy. From Wendy to Elmira. From Elmira to Austin.

From Austin to Wyoming. Wyoming to Collins. From Collins to Mohawk. Mohawk to Mercy. Mercy to Hill Creek. Hill Creek to Rochester, correctional facility. Why so many places? Getting bounced around. You know, like the inconvenience your family inconvenience you. It was pushing me further to the city and I was, you know, from Buffalo.

So, oh, Gawanda to, Gwanda. And when they charged me, they charged me with a sea felony, criminal possession of a weapon in a second with intent because it was one in the head. But when I got out of state, I bumped into this old head and the law librarian. He was like, no, it's a non-violet. It's nonviolent. I'm like, it's a gun. You said, that's why your dumb ass need to go read something. It's nonviolent. Did you hurt somebody?

Was it a complaint? Was it a hospital report? I'm like, no. He said, it's nonviolent. Put your paperwork in for the VFO. The violent felony override. So I went to the counselor. I said, yeah, I want to put this violent felony override paperwork in.

And she was like, okay, Ms. T. And it's crazy because when I got parole, Ms. T. switched from counselor. She was my parole officer. So when I get paroled, I walked in parole, she's there. She's a lady to help me get out. So six months go by, and they're like, Johnson, pack up. I'm like, pack up where I'm going. You're going to work release. Oh, man. So now, you know, I get a little time cut. How much time you need, man? Just let me get a couple things. Yo, come get this locker. I'm gone. I'll get my walk, man, kill him. I'm gone, man. Went down there, you know, they state green me up, shack on me, black, black, black,

I ain't never been so happy to be black boxing and shackled. I'll see y'all later, man. I'll see you on the town. Got a body that got on the bus. I went to Hills Creek. Did that, the K-Sat, ASAT, and ART there. Completed that. Then I went to the halfway house.

And you know that's just you start with two days in. No, you start with two days out and five in. And depending on your progress, you get more days out. So you go out for two hours, you go out for two days, and you can trust you, you go three days. You keep doing good. You come back, no dirties, no alcohol. You go out four days until you're on 7 and 0. When I got 7 and 0, I completed the program.

It was March 13th. Yeah, it was day before my brother's birthday. March 13th. I finished work release. But I wasn't on my CR until June 3rd. So I was on, like, it's conditional. They still had me like a little house arresting for a couple months until June.

And then I was on regular parole, regular New York State parole. How was your experience in prison when you first got there? Man, I got into some of my first day. Because I was trying to call home, and I went, and I walked into jail. I put my drive back on the bed, and I look at the phone. It's a phone hanging with a sock on it.

Now, I don't know nothing about this. I ain't been upstate. So I'm looking. But it's a line. A line of people. What I'm trying to do, man? I can't touch that phone. That's Aunt Live phone.

Ant Live, we ended up being homies, but, you know, Aunt Live, he was with the El Salvadorian gang. El Salvadorian guy, I forgot the name of it. He was him and, I'm a joke. They ran that. It was like six people on the wall. Man, I went and grabbed the phone, took the sock off through the sock, started dialing the number. I'm on the phone like 10 minutes.

I'm like tapping me on the shoulder. What's up? All right, you ain't supposed to be on this phone? I said, well, nobody you on it. You don't want nobody on it. And I just have a phone, you got to come holler at this. I said, I'm going to call you back. I said, man, what's up?

You know what I mean? What's this about? Is it your first time I'm upstate? Yeah. It's going to the bathroom. We're going to the bathroom. Before we get to the bathroom. I said, no, we're going to do this right here.

I ain't going to no trap. So he's looking. Everybody's looking like, well, you know who I am? I said, I don't know who nothing else. I just got here. Saying like, yo, he's trying you. He ain't trying you. He's trying you.

He's like, you know, I like that. I like that. Let me hollet you real quick. You took me to the queue. And he was like, you'll sit down real quick. Pull the chair up. You see, you know, some prison etiquette. You know what I mean?

I got to put you down on you. You can get yourself hurt. I see you not scared, but I got to put you down on some stuff. When you see the phone hanging, that means somebody's using it. You know, when you go to the bathroom, you put your towel up. You know, he just started walking me through the different stuff. Never leave your locker open, so can't anybody steal your razor, you know, different stuff like that.

We ended up being cool after that. And ironically enough, I ended up getting that phone because they had all the phones. I ended up getting that phone. And then, you know, people's coming to me. I got some new ports. Can I get a 30-minute click? And I start, you know what I mean? Being in charge of that phone and ended up going home.

Then it was just me and Joker. And me and Joker, we rocked out until, until the Joker went home. And I got packed up for a work release. How did you feel about not having that protection of the gun inside prison? Oh, man, that was great. Because it was even in there. It was hand-to-hand combat.

Somebody might have a knife. I can get a knife too. Three bricks in Newport, I get a knife too. They go break the leg off the little pole on the school desk, sharpen it up. Everybody had them. But it's even, you can't shoot me from way over there. We got it. We got to get here.

So I actually, I tell everybody, I slept better in jail than I did on the street. because... You finally felt safe. Yeah. I ain't got worried about why he's shooting me down. You know, they got guns in the tower, but it's man-in-man combat. I'm all right with that. So it wasn't as bad as it's perceived on, you know, TV.

It was real. You know, I've seen people get 190, you know, the baby oil hot water's, face melting off. I've seen people get stabbed. You know what I mean, killed in there. But it's... That was for a reason. It ain't like innocent You know you've been

It ain't like Just because you're there You're gonna get hurt You gotta stay out the way Stay out the way I ain't play no games I ain't play no chess I wasn't gambling

I Worked out in red I wasn't Played basketball I wasn't involved with that I said I wouldn't gangbanging So it was just chilling Old heads a couple people I knew from Buffalo

Some brothers I met from the city Rochester's connected Ithaca or whatever, we was all neutral. I was cool with everybody. The Muslims, the Aryans, matter of fact, one of the Aryan leaders named Dano. Dano ain't deal with nobody black. Nobody.

Me and Dano was like this. Even the SEAL said, man, what's that got going on? Conklin doesn't deal with your kind. I said, you deal with me. We eat together, and nobody can understand it. But me and then it was like this. And the Aryans, the AB, and the Muslims were about to go at it. I intervened that.

Brother Malik from Brooklyn, old school Malik. Shout out to Malik if you watching. And he, when you talk on you, man? I'm talking, no, I ain't like that. We just spent around the yard. The police was watching. You see him at the gate, mounting up, trying to see what was going on. I mediated it.

How do you mediate it? You got grandkids, bro. You got grandkids. You just told me trying to get home. Dano, you get trailers. Every 39 days, your wife come. You get to get laid. And jail.

Y'all want to mess this up, for real? For what? For what? You ain't getting no trailers. You're going to miss your date. You're a good time gone. You've been here 10 years. Denno, been here 12 years.

Why? The whole jail is about to be on lockdown. they thought about it I said I don't know about you remember I wouldn't be messing on my trailers for nothing they didn't become friends after

but the animosity was down they stayed at their TV they stayed at theirs you know what I mean it wasn't it wasn't what it was so they actually had Aryans in the New York prison system oh hell yeah yeah was there a lot of them or

yeah yeah yeah yeah It was different sectors of it, but it was all essentially, you know, like the Aryan Brotherhood, the different chapters of it. I don't know, like, the specifics or like the, you know, like the Bloods and Crips and Niantray and not. Like, I don't know the specifics of it, but yeah, it was a bunch of white militant groups. And most of them didn't deal with nobody. Do they follow strict rules, the gangs in general in New York?

Yeah, yeah. You late with a payment. You shot. You get caught stealing, you shot. You send that Western Union, no ID pickup, and it is burnt, you shot. It wasn't really no talking. It wasn't no talking. You tell them, I need some peppers and onions out the mess hall.

Or I need this and that and they get it to you. I got you on commissary. You ain't got it on commissary day. You shot. You out of there. It was, yeah. It was like that. Specific spots was hiring.

than others, of course, but I've been some spots where you have to keep your eyes open at all times. It wasn't no, put your shoulders down, never. And how do you avoid that? I have money on my books. I ain't need no favors from nobody. I ain't need nothing from nobody. And if I had something, if I had to get something, I used to get peppers and onions, but I paid. I paid up front.

I ain't get none on the iron. I didn't really do the juggle thing. My family made sure I was good. I went in with some paper and I had people in place. You're going to send me cigarettes. My man that I just called for your chips, he sent me cartons of cigarettes and snacks every month, every single month sending me tuna,

they drop it out to my grandma house or mail it off from the store, give it to my dad. I didn't want for nothing in there. I had sneakers. You could bring food from the outside at that point? No, in the packages, yeah. You get a package from outside? Yeah, and I was a facilitator too,

so you know, you're supposed to get your 35-pound package, but I ended up knowing the lady from a church camp I went to back in the day. And I wasn't getting 35 pounds. I get a bag, and then I couldn't get it back to back, but I get it back. Then maybe a week later, two weeks later, I get another bag, but somebody else would have to come down there and get it. Doesn't that take away from the prison's commissary income? No, because certain things you can't get in.

I had to buy my coffee. I had to buy my eggs. I had to buy my banquet with chicken. I had to buy my condiments. I had to buy, what else you couldn't get in? Basically everything that I couldn't get in through a package, I had to get on commissary. Like the Hawaiian Punch Coolades, that comes from the package. They don't got them no commissary.

The somersaws just, I get the bigger ones in my package and you know, you get the small ones on commissary. So whatever I couldn't get, I still went to the store and spent my, you know, my $55 at the store too. But together, I was good, man. I was good. I tried to make sure everybody that didn't have nothing was all right. Pool days call for cookouts and lots of laundry. This Memorial Day at Lowe's, save $80 on a Charbroil Performance Series 4-burner gas grill. Now just $199. Plus, get up to 45% off select major appliances to keep dishes, clothes, and food fresh. Having fun in the sun is easy with us in your corner.

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Kaman Jack beverage company, Chicago, Illinois. I don't feel like cooking. Was the prison adequately helping you with your gunshot wound? I'm sure you had some medical ramifications still, right? I got shipped out a few times. I pulled a muscle on a pull-up bar, and they had to take me right to ECMC. They had to take me to Buffalo.

And I stayed there three days, and they was given them. me paying medication, it was giving me the perkinsets, because I had a tear. I got on a bar too early. I just got the bag off, and I was doing too much. I was feeling good, but I didn't know the logistics of the human body as far as like, hell, and I feel good. So in my mind, I can do this.

But I was hanging and doing pull-ups, and I heard it. And I felt it all the way in my groin. I'm like, damn. I went and tried to lay down. I lost my breath. I'm called the CO, CO. He came, Johnson, what's going on? Something going on, I think, when the fragments moved,

and he helped me put my greens on. He called the admin building. Another guy came. They put me right in the van. They cuffed me. Then they actually took the cubs back off me. You're like, just lay down. Just lay down, because the nurse, you know, and they affirmed me to have to keep my hands up

like this. I rolled all the ECMC like that, my head hanging over the seat by the door. Woke up, got there, gave me an x-ray. My guess torn a little bit. We got to keep them. They wrapped me up, gave me some pain meds. But they couldn't send me back to the jail with the pain medication. So that's when they sent me to Gwanda.

It was a medical facility. It was right next door to Collins. So I stayed there for another week. and then they put me back in population. And then another time, one of the bullet fragments had actually moved and it started tearing and it was bleeding. They take me back out and they took it out because it was coming through the surface

and they went in and took it out. Same thing. Came me in the hospital for a few days. Send me back to the prison hospital for a few days. Well, no, that time I was in there for a little longer than a week. They put me back in population. Then they, you know, to give you, like, the Tylenol and all, and the little packets then, but I had to take it easy after that.

Were you done with the streets by the time you're in prison? Or were you still thinking about going back to it when you got out? I was leaning more towards leaving. I wasn't completely done because when I got out, the money was gone now. You know what I mean? Commissary and ate it up. When I get home, I was, you know, I had to get myself back together. But when the neighborhood took care of me when I got out.

Like I was sitting on my grandmother porch the first day. One of my OGs, shout out the pride. You're the first person to pull up. And congratulations, man. Stay home this time. Put some money in my hand. It was like people were just coming from all over. You guys stay out of trouble.

You got to have trouble. But at this time, I was more leaning towards. I ain't trying to do this no more. Like, everything happening to me. Everybody getting away with everything. Everything happened to me. If he tell on me, I got to go to jail because I ain't going to tell on you to get out. And I didn't want to keep standing that hamster wheel.

It was, it started to get draining. And it wasn't fun no more. It wasn't fun no more. People start snaking each other and brothers, telling them brothers. I'm watching sets crumble from disloyalty. And I'm like, man, you can't trust nobody. You really can't trust nobody. And it was just getting crazy, man.

People started dying, left them right. You're losing friends and it's too much. I start seeing the more clarity of it. That it was all fools go. What was I chasing? What was I trying to do? Did I want to do this forever? That I want to be 50 standing on the corner with the young boys trying to get money.

And I got something else to do. I got something else to do. So do you think the hype and people wanting to be in the streets is because it could potentially lead to that pot of gold. And that's why you refer to as fool's gold. Well, statistically, 90% of the people in the streets not going to get it. But the insanity of it is going to make you think,

I'll be probably that 10%. I'm a hustle. I'm going to get this money. I'm going to get out the streets without getting shot, without getting caught, without having to tell. It happens. I've seen it. But everybody thinks,

I think they're going to be part of that 10%. You're not. You're not. You're not. It's impossible. It's impossible. And then when you're chasing, the devil will throw your bone.

You know what I'm? It'll throw you a bone. And you might see a little progress. And then, man, I'm going to do it a little longer. And then I'm going to get away. It's everybody that I've seen that planned on leaving the streets, they never made it out. I'm a hustle for six months.

They get killed in the four months. fourth or they get indicted or get caught up in something on the third. They never, once you make a plan to leave the streets, you never leave. You just got to get up and walk away. I walked away. I walked away with nothing on my name. Still respected, I walked away to do something else. That's why all my energy goes into making sure the kids don't make the same mistakes that I did

because you make a mess, you're supposed to clean it up. you partake in the mess, you're supposed to help clean it up. And I can't sit back and just let them bump their head when I bump my head a thousand times. I could say, don't do this, man. This was going to happen to you. Ain't nothing going to change. There's nothing to wonder the sun.

So I just, my energy is for making sure they don't get caught up in it because I know how easy it is and you're caught up in it. That are lower. And it's day and age, people ain't paying attention to their kids. And social media, they're in their kid adulthood, they, you know what I mean? They stuck in the kids raising their self more than ever right now. Everybody digital slaves to these phones and living their reality through the phone. That's not the reality.

What they want to be is what they're giving to the world, but they ain't showing the real life of it. And the kids just run a while. There's nobody there. But these same people you see, I'm doing this, I'm doing that, I'm traveling. They're just saying people that call my phone and say, oh, my son is out of control. Can he come to your program? You need somebody to talk to him. That's what you're supposed to be doing, what you caught up over here.

You're living this fake Instagram life and you're trying to stay up with this and that. You're your kid's out of control. Y'all don't know them. Y'all in the same house with them. I have my kids every day. every single day. The only reason I don't got him now is because I'm here with you.

I got a babysitter, but I got my kids every day. I'm giving them something every day. And they know. They open the doors for women. They, yes, sir, knows. They know. They know to help people

and not expect nothing in return because you're supposed to help your neighbor. You know what I mean? But everybody don't, everybody don't do that. What do you think your worst day in prison was? My first day. The first day, you know, when you get sentenced,

and they put you in the hole, and you ain't even get your number, you ain't get your head shaved or nothing yet. And you're like, I got to do all this time. That was the worst day, because that was the beginning. And in my mind, I'm like, I can't wait until this over. You say that all day every day, but you're still at the beginning. What about the best day?

Johnson pack up. Johnson pack up, you know, besides the visits. The visits is always good. Get their love and vending machine. food and get to interact with the outside. That's the only real interaction. You talk on the phone, but, you know, when you get somebody energy when they're sitting with you and let you know what's going on, that's different.

It was good. It was always good to hear Johnson, you've got to visit, always. So you get home, what happens? Is everything smooth sailing? You rebuild your life, or do you run into problems? No, we had a couple hiccups before I ultimately left. 2018 was the end of my. who was the end of my career

18 going on 19 career why you call it career no because it's one of the hardest jobs in the world staying alive especially when you beefing

with people from down the street around the corner y'all share the same store gas station liquor store you know weed spot

you got to it was how I work it was how I work but in the end it was and it's crazy I don't know how familiar

you are with like a black man magic and all that. But I started getting premonitions. I started seeing stuff before it happened. I had a dream one day that two people was going to come through the shortcut and it was trying to down me. So I tell the homies, I tell Sam, you got to stay in the house.

I don't know what's going on. But you got to stay in the house. Somebody coming to do something to me. So she's like, what? Now my homies think I'm going crazy. They think I'm going crazy. A month go by, maybe a month and a half. It's late.

It's like 1 o'clock. We're sitting in the house. We're smoking. Playing the game. I got the cameras up over here. Like this on a split screen. I get motion. Look.

Two people coming through the shortcut. Come through the shortcut. I said, oh, everybody in the house stopped looking at me. Grandma said, run it down the stairs. You know what I mean? Me and my man, we engaged. Everybody ran out. I pulled him back, closed the door.

Y'all just go back upstairs, finish playing the game. Now everybody, y'all, how did you? I said, I don't know how I knew, but I've seen it. I had another homie. Got caught up in something with some people he was with. I had a dream, but it was me in the dream that got caught, but it didn't make sense. I'm like, I don't know them.

Two months later, Fares came and got him. The same way they got me in the dream. dream. I took her to a birthday party. One of my men's, he drunk, acting crazy. When we pull up, he put the gun on my dashboard. No, I hear this for you. Why you are here so you feel good. I said, man, I ain't staying that long. Grab that. Grab that. Put my hand. Man, grab that. Get it on my car, man. So my mind changed now. I ain't staying. So I go grab a plate, hollered the birthday boy. I get back in the car. Triple shooting. 20 minutes later, right, why was that?

I started getting these visions about things to come. I'm trying to warn people. Nobody listening. Nobody listening. And it was scary. It was scary. And I fell victim to some black magic. Somebody put some black magic on me and Sam.

And I didn't know what. what was going on. I was real weak. I couldn't think. I was confused about stuff I shouldn't be confused about. I lost my drive. Everybody wondered what was going on. I secluded myself because, you know, I'm not one who misery love company.

When I'm going through stuff, I like to get away from everybody because it's energy contagious. I'm staying in the house. I'm avoiding cars. And she's like, what's wrong with you? I don't know. My sister had a friend that she's a... She's a, like a psychic slash healer. And my sister asked her like, what's wrong with my brother?

He sinking or something. I don't, she's like, he got some black magic on him. And we reached out to a healer, and he had to clear my energy and had to align. My chakras back up in. But that was worse than the actual shooting. Like when somebody tapping to your spirit and your soul, it took me years to get back from that. It took me years to get back from that.

And I was, after that, I said, I'm like, nah, God didn't go keep giving me all these chances. And shooting, jail, stab, black magic out, how many more warners I'm going to get? So I ended up moving to Fayetteville, stayed there for a while. I was on parole. I was still on parole.

And I got a new parole officer He let me leave But the new guy He said, you know, you got to come back He said you can leave But you got to move back I said move back I'm out here living

What do you mean move back? You don't come back We're going to put a warrant out for you I'm like, all right So we ended up leap On the run I'm on the run I was on the run

Until COVID hit And then when COVID hit It was really no parole They stopped coming out They stopped calling So after that COVID kind of cleared up. That's when they started, you know, looking for everybody checking in and all that.

But I'm damn there maxing out now. So we go back to Buffalo and I'm maxed out. But like for the last nine months, it was really no parole for me. I got caught up in the COVID way. The world got shut down. And I was already on the run. They kicking down my people's doors. They go in my family house telling me, better come turn yourself in.

I said, man, I don't come in. I'm all the way in. I'm all away in Cali. I'm in L.A. I'm in L.A. I'm in L.A. Man, I'm all over, matter of fact. Florida,

Tennessee, Georgia, I was all over. But I'm, well, listen, they're going to find me when they find me. But I'm gone. I maxed out. And after that, I was, that's when I started trying to figure it out. You know, like I said, coming from where I come from, you don't rap, you don't play ball. In order to sell dope,

we wouldn't talk that. It was hope. It was a better life. Nobody gave us that. Nobody showed us another way. That's all we've seen all day. So, you know, of course we, kids repeat what they hear, mimic what they see.

That's for any kid. So I just got caught up in that, but got tired. But until you get tired of something, you ain't going to stop. Everybody can be tired for you. Until he ain't get tired, he ain't going to stop because it's you.

People could say, but you say, you know, that's your life. You don't let nobody make decisions about you. I got tired. And that's when I said, I gotta help clean this mess up. And that's when I got on my mission. I'm still on the same mission. But this time I'm doing something positive.

I said, I was putting on this negative energy in the world, doing this and that. I gotta do the right thing now. I'm tired of letting my family, my family down, my aunts, mom, dad, stepdad, because they knew that I had something else. Like, even my brother was like, yo, you forgot who you was? You forgot what you had going on?

You know, you can't just sit here and let time go by and you got to do something. So sat back and strategize on how can I change and leave that environment that I helped destroy better than, I found it. So do you think the black magic saved you? Yes. That was God interruption of my life to get my attention the last time. Now, you're going to get this together.

After that, I ain't want to play no more because I ain't never been through nothing like that. Man, I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. So who do you think put that on you? Doesn't have to be put on you by someone? Yeah. It was a jealous family member that put it on me and Sam ultimately. And it was to destroy our destiny, to destroy our finances. And from what I got from the healer, it was for me to go crazy and commit suicide.

But I had divine protection. This is a Bose moment. You've been there. Small talks going nowhere. But then the Bose speaker kicks in. Music you can feel fills the room. And no more chat with Danny from accounts. Your life deserves music.

Your music deserves Bose. Find your perfect product at Bose.com. This episode is brought to you by Subaru. Go further in a long-range Subaru hybrid. With up to 581 miles per tank in the Forrester Hybrid, longer range, better fuel efficiency, and legendary symmetrical all-wheel drive standard. The Subaru Forrester Hybrid.

Visit Subaru.com slash hybrid to learn more. Maximum range based on EPA estimated combined fuel economy and a full tank of fuel. Actual mileage and range may vary. You can't reason with the sun. Trust us. We've tried. This summer, it's time to put that angry ball of fire on mute. Columbia's Omnyshade technology is engineered to protect you from the sun's harsh rays that can burn and damage your skin.

The sun is relentless, but so is our gear. Level up your summer at Columbia.com to spend more time outside and less time slathering on alolotion. You're welcome. Columbia engineered for whatever. Didn't happen. Thank God. The whole concept of black magic is very interesting. It's real. It's real.

It's real. Don't let nobody tell you all. It's not. If it's good, if it's good, it's bad. You know, it's very dangerous. shouldn't be used at all, especially if you putting it on a vulnerable person that don't know nothing about it because they're weak to it. Like I said, I didn't know what was going on. I'm, I'm thinking I'm finally losing my, losing it. You know what I mean? Oh, man, I can't think. I can't do nothing. I was, I was twisted. I was on the couch stuck. Couldn't do, I didn't want to eat.

I couldn't sleep. I used to be up for days at a time. it was that and i couldn't figure it out and sam said i don't know i'm gonna take you check you in but that wouldn't work because they would have been trying to put something medical on it and it was a spiritual attack and and i was it was something man it was really was really something but i thank god for it i thank god for it because without the interruption of the wrongdoing without nobody stopping you from committing crimes if you don't go to jail you ain't going to stop

if something don't happen sometimes you ain't going to stop I needed that interruption I already been shot and I thought I came back and didn't learn been to jail didn't fully get it that I didn't want to play with that and that's what ultimately

got me more into my faith you know and accepting that is something bigger than me. Because I used to think, man, I got the nine. The nine saved me or the vest saved me. It wasn't that.

It was God that saved me the whole time. It wasn't nothing that I thought. It wasn't my, it wasn't a cruel. It wasn't, it was God having mercy on my ignorance of him. Because I was ignorant to it. I didn't know. I knew about it, but I didn't know. I never took time to get to know about him and what comes with him.

And his ways, I didn't, I didn't know. What did you find out your mission was and your purpose when you had that, I guess, epiphany? It was a mass shooting in my community. Somebody came in and killed 10 of my elders from the community. And I never felt so helpless because I couldn't help. I couldn't do nothing to save nobody. And like I said, we always was the ones that was making sure everybody was good. He came in, full military gear, shot 10 people, killed them, killed them, and streamed it on Twitch.

My dad was just at the store the night before talking to the security guard that lost his life that actually engaged the gunfire with the shooter. And my aunt was on, my aunt Mel, was on. her way to get some ice cream was on her way there my sister was there when it happened i felt helpless and i just wanted to put something together to make sure that everybody was good not saying that i got that kind of power to do that but a man that failed a plan he's gonna fail so i just wanted to put something together to where there was a little bit more unity organization help. I start helping each other.

We shouldn't be at eyes about nothing. Ain't nothing that serious. And that's when it hit me. If we ain't together, it's already over. It's already over. All the dangerous people that run around the city that I know

and it wasn't nobody there to save nobody that day. And it hurt. I cried. I cried for days. my dad told me, it's good you're crying son because you're getting your humanity back.

You're starting to feel for people again. I understand that at first, but then I started, okay, yeah. I started feeling for those strangers. I didn't personally know anybody that got killed, but it was right there. Like I said, my dad was just there, my aunt was on the way, my sister

was outside putting her groceries in the car when the shooter started shooting. And I just wanted to stand up. I just stood up for all the wrong stuff. My whole life stood up for all the wrong stuff. I want to stand up and do something right. And that's how the organization came about.

And that's when I said, I'm going to dedicate the rest of my life to this. Just like I dedicated the rest of my life to wrong doing when I was a kid. I'm thug till I die. You know, all the bullshit that we, mm-mm. That wasn't it. That wasn't it. And he didn't save me to keep doing that. He didn't save me over and over and over and over to keep doing that.

I put the organization together. We didn't send with Sam put it together. And that's what I've been doing. We've been helping people from here to the bottom of Florida. I've been all the way to West Palm Beach. Feeding people, you know, helping people. Passing on my phone number. People call us.

I'm short on my bills. All right, give us the bill. We ain't seen you no money. Give us the bill. We take care of it. Hang on the groceries for my kid. Give me your address. We instant cart fooded people all over the country.

People we met one time, two times. It was a girl when I was in Atlanta. She was stealing out of a gas station. She had her three boys with her. The security guard looking, he's seeing her. Now, he's telling the lady at the register, I got to take her. The girl telling him, no, I don't do what she poured.

She tried to do what she do. She in there stealing hot dogs, you know, from the roller. And putting juices in her, pants and everything. The security guy stop her. The kids start crying and put her in cups. I'm just going to say, you listen, how much is it?

Like $30-something. I said, you know, let her have it. And she won't come back to your store no more. We let her go with the food. You know, the kids are sitting outside. You need hot dogs on the stairs. My wife gave her the number and said, you know, you need to go down the time and get some help.

But if you need anything for the kids, Just call us. You know, she called a few times, and we sent her food or we order pizzas to the house. You know what I mean? We helped her with a light bill a couple of times. It's just helping, man. Just helping without expecting nothing back. You know, God take care of me and my family.

It's been so many times I've been like, man, how I'm going to do this? I'm going to do this. I got to pay this. And you just four grand, he's five grand. You wouldn't believe the way it comes back. And to come back from people you least expect, but what you put out is what you get back. Do you feel that this is your path to writing any wrongs you may have committed in the past? I mean, you can't really write any wrongs what's done is done.

It's the change of action. And as long as you changing your patterns and your energy right and your intentions are good, I don't know how God tallied up, but I just want my good to outweigh my bad. What's done is done. If it's people hurt, they hurt. I can't take that back. Whatever happened, you can't take it back. Took something from somebody.

You can't take that back. But I just want to make sure that when it's all said and done, Jesus is happy with what I've done. ain't nobody perfect. I still make mistakes. I repent daily, but I just want that scale to be more good than bad. And every day I try to help somebody.

Every day I do help. Even when I need help, I'm helping. And I just repeat it every day. And life got better since I changed my intentions. Did your grandparents get to see your change? Well, my grandmother, my grandmother did, my grandfather, he didn't really get to, but before my grandfather left two days before he died. He said, come here, boy, I want to talk to you.

I said, what's up, Pops? He said, you turned out all right. You turned out all right. I said, yeah, thanks to you. And he kept telling him, I'm tired, man, I'm tired. And I said, no, you all right, man, you're all right. Tap them on the leg. And I came home from the club one night, and I walked back.

had his room and his oxygen was out of his nose on the floor. His oxygen was on the floor and he was kind of slumped over. So I looked. I was saying, well, I went and rolled him over, put his oxygen in, and he wasn't moving. And put my hand under his nose who I'm breathing. My grandmother was in the bed next to him. She sleeps. She don't even know.

So I went upstairs and got my aunt laying. I told her pops my breathing. She jumped up what? She came downstairs and we kind of looking at each other to see who going to wake mama up. Ultimately, we had to wake her up and we had to wake her up and she was trying to wake him up and she couldn't. So we had to call the police and they came and got him.

That was 2009. But he let me know that I was all right. And it turned out a good man. And I think I needed that. You know what I'm saying? But he let me know. And, yeah. How are you going to make sure your kids don't go down the same path you did?

I keep them away from the same playing field. They go to school in the suburbs. They don't know nothing about the life. And I worked out a deal with them. As long as I get good grades, I get whatever you want. And they do all the game systems. And they know when the Jordan's coming out and toys. Just be respectful and do what you need to do.

They don't know nothing about my old life. Nothing at all. When they get old enough, if it arise, I'm going to tell them the truth. But this will be after they choose their own path because I don't want them trying to emulate it or walk in and do it. Oh, dad did this. Nah. So right now, I just want to keep it away from them.

All they know is cartoons. and games and roadblocks and, you know what I mean? Stuff like that. So, and they just, they both just got their report cars and both got good grades. I just took them shopping and let them fill a carto with toys and they're not in the same playing field. Your environment has a big, big impact on how you turn out besides what you learn at home. besides what you learn at home. Like I said, you get all the rules and morals inside.

But when you go outside, you got to be something else. That's everywhere. So I just keep them out the way, so they all right. What would you tell your younger self before you ever stepped foot in the streets? Give yourself some time. Give yourself some time. You can do anything, not limited to this, that, or that. Don't give up and don't chase that fool's gold, everything that glitter ain't gold.

And if you give up during the rain, you'll never see the sunshine. I appreciate you coming on the show today, brother. Thank you for having me, brother. Yeah, thank you for sharing your story with me. And I wish you the best with your organization and everything in the future. I appreciate it, brother. And I'm going to keep going. I won't give up.

Never. No, no. I ain't coming as far just to come this fire.