Locked In with Ian Bick - I Had a Prison Girlfriend - Here’s What Happened | Tonya Higdon

Episode Date: December 8, 2025

Tonya Higdon grew up in a good family, but childhood trauma pushed her into years of addiction involving nearly every drug you can imagine. She became a young mother while struggling to stay clean, bounced in and out of trouble, and eventually went on the run after multiple arrests for driving without a license. When she was finally caught, Tonya was sentenced to three years in the Florida state prison system—where she formed a long-term relationship with another woman that lasted her entire sentence. In this episode of Locked In with Ian Bick, Tonya shares her full story: her upbringing, addiction, life on the run, surviving prison, the realities of having a prison girlfriend, and how she worked to rebuild her life afterward. This conversation offers an honest look at trauma, recovery, and resilience for anyone interested in real-life stories, addiction journeys, and the truth about life behind bars. #PrisonStory #PrisonLife #LockedInWithIanBick #InmateStories #TrueCrimePodcast #PrisonRelationships #RedemptionStory #prisonexperience Thank you to AURA FRAMES & DAWS for sponsoring this episode: Aura Frames: Exclusive $35 off Carver Mat at https://on.auraframes.com/LOCKEDIN. Promo Code LOCKEDIN DAWS: Go to http://www.daws.org/ to donate, adopt or send items from their wishlist. Connect with Tonya Higdon: TikTok: stankself_ Instagram: stankself4201 Hosted, Executive Produced & Edited By Ian Bick: https://www.instagram.com/ian_bick/?hl=en https://ianbick.com/ Shop Locked In Merch: http://www.ianbick.com/shop Timestamps: 00:00 Intro: Her Story Before Prison & What Led Here 05:00 Childhood, Family Dynamics & Early Struggles 10:00 Trauma, Addiction Begins & Life Starts Unraveling 16:00 Losing Custody, Spiraling & Desperate Decisions 22:00 Life on the Run, Arrest & Reality Sets In 27:00 Sentencing Day: Walking Into Prison for the First Time 33:00 Prison Relationships, Survival & Finding Her Place Inside 39:00 Daily Life: Hustles, Routines & What Prison Food Is Really Like 45:00 Addiction Behind Bars & Hard Lessons Learned 50:00 Getting Out: Reentry, Rebuilding & Starting Over 56:00 Staying Sober, Finding Purpose & Her Social Media Journey 01:01:00 Family Healing, Forgiveness & Moving Forward 01:04:00 Her Advice: What She Learned & Final Reflections Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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See full terms at mintmobile.com. I was in shackles. I walked in and I tell the cops, I'm like, hey, don't put me in there with her. She had called me one day and told me she was sleeping with the guy I had been with for nine years. What do you think are the most important rules for surviving in a woman's prison? Go get a girlfriend so she can protect you. Tanya Higden never imagined trauma from her childhood would lead to addiction, prison time, and a relationship behind bars. But that's exactly what happened. Tanya, welcome to locked in. Thanks so much for coming on the show today.

Yes, thank you for inviting us. your first ever podcast, right? Yes. And you and Angela came together and I'm interviewing her after you. Yes. From Florida? Yes. That's exciting. Yes. I left the warm weather to come to the cold. Yes. I'm totally a Florida girl and love my flip flops. Well, no flip flops out today. You can wear those today. And you guys are spent a couple days in the city. Yes. That's great. After we leave here. That's great. And thanks for supporting us on Facebook. We've been Facebook friends for a while now. You've got to tell everyone about that shirt you just posted. That was hilarious. Yes. So I got a shirt from Spencers. It says, tell your dad. I said hi. And I posted it with just a little funny saying. And it's got like 514,000 views right now. Yeah. I saw it the other day. It was hilarious. I posted another one this morning that's got a lot, too. Do you have inquiries or like people slide? I don't really date. Like I've been dating the same guy for like a year. And I just never get out. I don't go out much. So. You know, I get a lot of messages, but I'd never answer them.

Mm-hmm. You know, unless they, most of the time, they live far away. There's nothing wrong with being a homebody. Yes. I'm a big home body now. We've been cooking at home a lot and just, you know, taking it easy, not going out as much and stuff. And it's nice. Well, it's easy when you got a girlfriend.

That is true. But Matt doesn't have a girlfriend. Yeah, but he has y'all. Yeah. We're like the three amigos because we all live together. It's really fun, you know, like you're doing life with your best friends and stuff. How long have you known him? I've known Matt so that like the plot behind Maddie Ice is that when I owned the club years ago,

he got kicked out of it one night and I had to let him back in twice. He got him back in. And we've been friends ever since I was in like 2014 and to 2014. And then I called him randomly when I was in prison and then we lived together during COVID for like a year. And then we lived together now since last year. But he really like stepped up to the plate when I went away from Mr. Beast to run all my social media. Yes. So now we just work together and yeah, he's got his own office with Letitia upstairs at the studio.

And here we are. So he handles like guest hospitality and helps book and runs the social media. Well, that's nice to have someone run it because mine takes all my time. It is. People don't realize it's a full-time job. Yeah, it is. And I'm still doing like a lot of posts myself too, like interacting with comments. Yeah, on a day-to-day basis.

People don't realize how much work you have to put into it. People think that they can just get on there and post something and that it's just going to get all these views. When you have to actually, like to hit an algorithm, you have to like stuff, comment on other people's stuff or post more, you know, make, like share whatever you feel you want to share. You know, people should start sharing more. It's 2025. What's the whole star thing? I always see you guys sending stars. So that's just, so Facebook just offers you stars where people can send you stars to make money. And it's just a way to hit a different algorithm or, I think I made six bucks. Oh, did you? I think mine popped up to like a hundred bucks. But I mean, my Facebook pays my car payment. So I mean, if I just keep sharing eventually one day. And I like, sell myself. So like not, you know. Not your body. Yeah, not my body. Like I, I, everyone's like,

oh, you need to open up an OF page. And I'm like, oh, no, I don't. I don't want to be that girl. But I did buy a boat. And I really want to fish on social media. So I think that's going to be my goal. I think that's a great plan. Eventually. But yeah, I mean, we just promote each other. I've influenced a lot of people in my town for social media. So I like to see them opening up, like people that have been through recovery, you know, open up and sharing because a lot of our people are watching us. They used to use, you know, so it's nice. I get a lot of messages like people thanking me, you know. So it's kind of heartfelt.

That's the power of sharing your story, you know? That's why it's so important. Where did you grow up? St. Augustine, Florida. What was that like? Great. I have, my parents have been together 50 years. No, here we go.

You're ready? Hey, we got tissue on the deck. My parents have been together 50 years, own their own business. I guess I just, at about 17, I got with my children, my boy's father. I only have two baby daddies anyway. And then I just started partying. I had a friend of mine at 15. No, I was 16.

He killed himself. It was one of my brother's friends. And I think that really took me down a rabbit hole into drugs. What do your parents do for work? Concrete work. So my dad does like structural form work, concrete work. Did you guys grow up with money? No, we grew up comfortable.

We hunted. You know, my dad spent all his money on guns and deer stuff or hunting stuff, fishing stuff. So I grew up in the country. We live totally off the grid. We do not have power. We have solar panels. We have a watering system. We just now got a watering pump.

It's definitely a different way of life, but I wouldn't. I just started building a house. It's getting there. I need to do spray insulation. But, yeah, I just live off the grid. So you grew up with no plumbing? No, I grew up in a regular house. Oh, okay.

But about 25 years ago, my parents bought 25 acres in St. Augustine for like $100,000. And now, like, the World Golf Village has came up around us. So we're, it's prime real estate now. And we're two miles down a dirt road. We have to go through a hunting club to get to our property. Did you enjoy hunting? Yes. Yeah, even as a child.

Yeah. What was your favorite thing to hunt? Yeah. That's probably a good experience, like, or a good, bonding experience with your dad. Yeah. Were you closer to your dad than your mom? No, probably my mom.

My dad was kind of tough. What do you mean by tough? He used to spank our butts. Did you act out a lot? I have two older brothers, so it was very, you know, it was more of them than me. I remember one time my dad was jumping on my brother, and I went and grabbed the phone and called 911, and my dad come out on the porch, and he was like, did you just call the cops? And I was like, my brother, I was like, no, sir, no sir.

My brother runs out the woods. He's like, I did. And he runs back in the woods away from my dad. It was just, you know, kids, you know, nowadays, like, it's good. Like, my brother grew up a good, you know, good. Like, we grew up in a very stable home. So for me to fear off like I did, people. So it's kind of like, you know, the kids nowadays, they're all, you know,

you know, stuck on their phones and stuff. So we didn't really have that back then. So we kind of reverted into drinking and drugs at an early age. And I don't know where I was going with that. But what do you think was your favorite childhood memory? Hunting with my dad. Yeah, riding on the dog box. Listen to country music, oysters, fire pit.

What do you think was your worst childhood memory before addiction and the accident? When my friend shot himself and I was younger. You guys were close? Well, I was my brother's best friend, so yeah. It was very devastating to me. How would you have described yourself? I'm very bubbly. I'm a Leo, so I'm very, I'm just, I don't know, I'm open.

I'm a very emotional person. Like I feel like if someone's in a room with me and they're crying or something, I will literally start crying. My girlfriend was watching TikToks yesterday or I didn't even know she was. I walked into the room and she's crying like in tears. I've seen that post. I'm like, what's wrong? And she's like, TikTok. Yes, I do.

But that's good. That means you have emotion and you feel that. And that's a good quality to have. Yeah. Were you taking school seriously, high school and middle school? I dropped out my senior year. That was after the accident? Yeah.

Before that, did you take it seriously? Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I never failed. I never learned my times tables, but, you know, I just, math was hard for me. What were you thinking career-wise for your future? A vet. I like animals. I have a horse.

I like anything animal. That's nice. There's nothing wrong with being a vet. No. So the accident happens, and that's when life spirals. Yeah. So tell us about the aftermath. So my boy's dad got into a car accident.

God, this is going to be emotional for me. My kids were probably three and one. He got into a really bad car accident, drinking and driving, and broke both of his femurs and crushed his pelvic area. He was in a wheelchair for like six months. At that point in time, he had started leaving me for the stripper. I'm sure you've seen all the posts. I give him a hard time.

Me and him are very, very close now. He's gotten his life situated, and I guess I was a big part of it. Looking to start 2026 with an unforgettable getaway. Fiji Airway's sale is on now. Fly non-stop round-trip to Fiji from just 748. Or enjoy a sunny Fiji stopover on your way to Australia with round-trip fair starting from 839. As a One World Alliance member and American Airlines Advantage program partner, your miles go further across the South Pacific. Book now at Fiji Airways.com or contact your local travel agent.

Conditions apply. So after the aftermath of the accident. Yes. So then I just started partying, like not going home and I started using drugs. I probably started with pain pills. for him with him. And then it went to methadone and then it went to street drugs

after me and him just didn't make it. We were probably together like eight years. So you had kids very young. Yeah, my first one at 19. Okay. And the accident was... I think I just turned 20.

How old were you when the accident happened? Probably 22, 23. Oh, so you dropped out before the accident then? Yeah. Well, I should have graduated when I was 17.

Why did you decide to drop out? I just started skipping school and it was, it was very emotional for me after Tommy killed himself. Mental health medication, anxiety medicine. It was hard.

on me. I think that was really what took me down the rabbit hole. And then I smoked crack for probably 15 years. And then I just never came home. I didn't see my kids for probably three years straight at one point. I remember my mom coming to the hotel and bringing me a picture book of my kids. And, you know, I think that a lot of people when they're using, they don't want to go home because they feel the resentment, like, at home. But they don't realize that there's so much more to life than being out there. And you don't never have to feel like you can't go home or it's just too much of a weight on you when you're out there. So I went to prison for three years and it saved my life.

I only went to prison for habitual driving. They tried to give me a year a DOC funded rehab and I ran for three months. And I got caught in Chicago. My boyfriend at the time was a truck driver. So I was like I got a warrant for my arrest. I'm not going to go. I'm going to run. And then they'll just give me a year in the county because it was habitual driving.

And when I got arrested in Chicago, thank God I was in Chicago because I was really bad off on pills. In Chicago, they have methadone clinics and Suboxone clinics inside their jail. So instead of getting on any of that, I was like, just give me, you know, anxiety medicine, help me sleep or mental health medication. And then three weeks later, they extradited me back to Florida. And then I got into a fight on my way to court in shackles. And I told the county jail, I said, don't put me in the cell with her. We had had prior problems from before. And they put me in the cell with her, and I put my hands on her.

So when I go to look at my paperwork, my son just went to the military, to the new space force. They had charged me with battery in a detention facility twice and sent me to prison. So it wasn't only the driving on habitual. driver charge, it was the two batteries in a detention facility. And I got three years all run concurrent. So in between high school and the time of your baby daddy's accident, did you do drugs at all? Or was that kind of just like in limbo? So me and him started doing pain pills. I had a one-sided epidural with my first son. And they started, they put me on pain pills because I had a really bad sciatic nerve problem.

So then it just went from, you know, just a couple a day to him, all of us using. I mean, we did cocaine and stuff when we were younger. So it was, you know, that was just moving on to another drug. But yeah, we started using pills. We had probably $20 or $20 pill a day have it until we, Went to the methadone clinic and then it just, you miss the methadone clinic one day and you need something to keep you awake. So you run to another drug. That's normally how it happens for any addict.

And what drug did you run to? Crack cocaine. And were you working at the time in those years? No. What were you doing for money? My dad has his own business and Jeremy worked for my dad. I guess I never really worked until now. until I came home from prison.

And I mean, I'd worked a couple places, like out back steakhouse waiting tables or actually the restaurant that just closed down Hurricane Paddies. I worked there when I was like 21. So. Do you remember how you felt during that time period? I mean, are you probably have friends that are going to college and you're in the middle of drug addiction and I guess I really, I veered away from those friends. Like now I have a friend Sam She was my best friend growing up And now like we just became friends again

Like we, you know, you don't want to see those people You know, or you're not in the same crowd as those people Not like now you have social media Where you could see everybody back then, you didn't So now that, you know, social media is such a big thing And you can actually connect with all your family members or, you know, the people that you used to know. Where were your children when they were first born?

Did you care for them? Yes. So I had them until my parents got custody of my kids. Thank God. Both of my boys went with my parents. And then when I had my daughter, she was a product of the dope mean. She doesn't really know her dad. She's met him probably like three times.

He's still in and out of prison. but she's totally my best friend. My parents had all three of my kids, so I was very lucky. Have you ever noticed that the people you're closest to are somehow the hardest to shop for? Like, I can buy a gift for a co-worker in two minutes, but when it comes to my mom, Letitia, or my family, suddenly nothing feels personal enough. And that's exactly why Aura Frames are the ultimate cheat code for holiday gifting. it look like you plan this thoughtful, meaningful present weeks in advance, even if you ordered

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preload the frame before it ships, so it arrives already filled with memories that hit right in the heart. You can't wrap togetherness, but you can't. can frame it for a limited time, save on the perfect gift by visiting AuraFraFrames.com to get $35 off or as best selling CarverMet Frames, named number one by wirecutter by using promo code locked in at checkout. That's AURAFraFraMrame.com promo code locked in. This deal is exclusive to listeners and frame sellout fast, so order yours now to get it in time for the holidays. You can also support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply. to make you feel now. Great. Like I, my parents, I couldn't have taught my parents, my kids, what my parents

taught my kids. And some people in your situation don't even have those parents that can help them. No. I think that's why they, you know, don't ever come out of it. Like, they go to prison and then they come out and then they don't have anybody. I was lucky enough to be able to come home, not work for six months, you know, and just be with my kids. kids and my family because I had a mom and dad that never they never resented me. So now you're 22. He gets into the accident and gets paralyzed. Well, he didn't get paralyzed. He was just in a wheelchair. Yeah, because he broke both of his femurs. And then I, you know, he got better and I just went off to start doing drugs. I was dating a guy at the time that sold cocaine. I went to sell some

cocaine at a hotel, and that's where I met my daughter's dad. And that was the first time I had smoked crack. And then my life just, I just veered, like stayed away from everyone. It was bad. I been through it. How much time passes in between his accident and the driving arrest? Oh, I probably have 15 driving without a license charges. Why didn't you have a license to begin with? Child support. They suspend the license for childs?

They used to. Now they can't. So you're behind on child support at that time? Yeah. Well, they were just trying to make me pay child support. So child support, that's another thing. So my boy's dad has to pay child support, but I've never paid a child support payment. And I think that's where people really don't realize if you've never paid a child support payment, they'll never come after you.

Unless maybe the other parent presses for it or the guardian of the kids. I've gotten all my stimulus checks that most people don't get half of them. Now they can't suspend your license for child support, but I don't even really think I owe child support. So when was the first time you get your license suspended? Oh, probably 24, 25. And at that point, you're already two or three years into your crack addiction. Yeah. It wasn't just crack.

It started with cocaine. And then crack. So walk us through like a typical day during that time period for you. What was that like for you? So you wake up and you're pill sick. So you do a pill and then you get down and you need an upper. So you just go out and get high. I mean, I was, I guess, you know, sleeping with men for money.

It was mainly, you know, dope boys for me. I never really was too far out. I mean, I was far out there. Don't get me wrong. But, you know, it wasn't, it never got that bad. Like, you could always find someone. I was with a guy for nine years. So we pretty much made it work.

It was, like, I almost feel like I have a bad memory. So I'm kind of happy. I see people and they're like, hey, do you remember this day? And I'm like, no, I don't remember that. And I don't want to remember that. And I really don't remember it. I feel like your mind blocks it out when you've been through such tragedy in your life. Like my friend that killed himself, he shot himself and I was in the living room and I never heard anything. So when I just, I was rolling up a joint in the living room and he was supposed to be going in the bedroom and getting some papers. And I hear like a clunk. So I get done break. And I figured him and his girlfriend had been splitting up. So I figured he was just going in there to pack his stuff because I had been at the house with his girlfriend and her, there are four kids.

So he went inside to pack all, you know, just figured he was pulling stuff out of the closet or something. And when I got done breaking up the weed, I went to the door and I knocked on and I was like, Tommy, are you dressed decent? can I come in? I remember that saying. That's exactly what I said to the T, to the door when I knocked on it. And he didn't answer me. So I opened up the door, go in there, and I'm like, I know he didn't just walk by me. And I go into the bathroom and the closet was at the end, and he was on the floor in the closet. So back then we didn't have phones. Well, I didn't. So I had to run to his brother's house, which lived next door.

and then she came over. She didn't have a phone either. So she came over to the house and I went to my friend's house the next block over and called the law. And they questioned me for hours and hours and hours. But I remember when he first got there, he walked up the steps and he had put a piece of paper in his pocket. Like he was sitting out in his truck writing something down.

So whenever I thought about it a little while hours later, I was like, check his pocket. I think he wrote a suicide note. And he didn't. He had a suicide note. I never got to see what it said. What do you think was the worst thing you ever did for drugs? Sleep with men. That was probably my, you know, I mean, I don't think there's really a girl out there that does drugs like that and doesn't.

And if they do say that, then they're really rich. And yeah, probably sleep with men. And these men are just drug dealers. Yeah. And they were easy to find. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I've lived in that town my whole life.

So I either grew up with them or met them one time. And are these men addicted to drugs themselves, too? Most of the time, their closet. They get high, like, behind door, closed doors. So tell us about this arrest now that you end up going on to run for. So I had a warrant for my arrest. I go to Chicago. I had to leave town because I had a warrant.

I had to use my friends. We had to get on a bus. And I was so worried. The cops came to my friend's house looking for me. And I hid in a cabinet and she locked the door. And she was like, that's my brother's room. I can't get in there. She let the cops walk all through her house.

So the next morning I got up and she gave me her driver's license. And we went and got on a bus and went, I forget where we were. picked up the semi truck from. But we were on the road for like a month and a half, two months. Oh, I got another story to tell you to. And then a month and a half, two months. And then we got pulled over one day. And I just gave them my whole name.

He was like, why didn't you give her, give them the other girl's name? And I was like, I'm ready to go. Like I'm, you know, you get tired of running. Like, it's. It gets exhausting. And they extradited me back to Florida. And then I went to prison for three years. I will tell you one thing I did.

During my addiction, I had some friends whose son had a warrant for his arrest. So my family has a house in Bryson, City, North Carolina. We're the Indians. It's like the, you know. Reservation. Reservation. Yes. So their stuff is so different.

up there. You have to see like a magistrate. Like they kept us in the middle of the mountain, like down below in the mountain in the basement. When they came to find my friend's kid, they called us with money under the bed, like printed money. But we had only printed one side of the dollar bills with 100. And so they really couldn't. I stayed in the middle of a mountain for like six months. I cut my wrist in there. They didn't have no mental health.

That was a really big, that's been a really big battle for me as mental health. I don't take medicine for it anymore. I try to cope with the way I feel through my social media and sharing my story. You know, medication helps. I take Suboxone. So I've taken Suboxone for, since I came home from prison because I knew that, if I didn't have something, I was just afraid. Like, it's more of an, you know, if it gets too far and you just do a little bit,

then it's just you could be way out there and not even know it. By the time you know it, you're really strung out again. So I take Suboxin. You know, that's been a big part of my social media too is share. And I get so many comments that you shouldn't take. Suboxin, but it's helped me. I've lived perfectly fine. I have great jobs. It's kind of like I don't know the person I am today. Like from my past and the person I was before, I feel like I'm just a totally different person. Yeah, like, I just, I don't know. Why did you decide to go on

the run to begin with? Because I don't think driving with a suspended license would have led to prison, right? Yes. So I went to court for the habitual driving. When I got the habitual driving charge, I had a possession on me. They sentenced me to a year of DOC funded rehab. But I didn't, I had to turn myself in right after Christmas. So I didn't know that when you go in for DOC funded rehab, you have to wait for them to come get you. So I was like, I'm going to wait six or eight months for. them to come get me. You know, that's a long time. It's just a driving charge. I'll run and they'll give me a year. Point Ray's Farmstead Cheese is helping you celebrate life's big moments with award-winning California-made artisan cheese. Whether you're honoring a graduate or shopping for the dad who has everything, we've created collections that make gifting easy and delicious. We have great options for any budget, and we ship nationwide. We pride ourselves in being a women-owned small business.

So help us spread the joy and get deliciously cheesy. Visit us online at Point Raisechease.com and get 15% off your first order. From our family to yours. Happy celebrating. And that was totally not the case. So you have to wait in the jail or the prison until they come get you for rehab? Yes. But it could be up to Yemen, so it could be the next day. Yeah. No, normally it's not the next day. They have so many people, you know, there's only so many beds or rehab facilities and they're all state funded. So you literally, so I would have probably did a year in the DOC funded rehab and anywhere from like three to eight months waiting for them to come get me. Now in your mind, an escape was just going to, or going on the run was just a year max? Yeah.

Where did you get that from? Well, I mean, it's just a driving charge. Oh, but the actual running charge. They would give you three years. For running. Yeah, they would. The judge looks at the state and they're like, hey, how long did she run for? And they're like three months.

And I'm like, Judge says, oh, and give her three years. Now, when you decided to run, did you still have a relationship with your parents and your kids? Or are you totally gone at that point? Oh, yeah. Mentally. I would talk to my mom. I never really lost. There was a three-year period that I did lose complete.

I didn't talk to my parents at all for three years. It was like right in the very beginning. And when you go on the run, how bad is your addiction? Is it still full-blown? Yeah, we would, it's not like we would get high on the road. I mean, we would, you know, take our, we were taking Suboxone or methadone, any kind of, you know, pain medicine that we could get our hands on. But it wasn't that bad. Like, we would come back home in the semi and use. And then we would leave and live a normal life for the weekend. And, you know, there was a couple of times I came back in and, you know, had my kids move in with me. And then it was. just, you know, kind of in and out throughout the years. So you go on the run, you get caught, sentence of three years in prison, that's in Florida prison? Yes.

And where do they send you? It's a low, a medium, or max? Low. I went to the reception center, and I had a lump on my boob on my breasts. So they kept me there to send me to the cancer women's cancer place. So I only had three years. I wanted to go into the horse program, but because of the lump on my breast, they kept me there in medical. Like I was with the normal people.

But I wasn't able to get my GED or like, I don't understand why would you, there's no, how could I go to prison for three years and not be able to get my GED? Like there's no help at the reception center for, at Lull reception center for people to get any kind of, schooling. Like, and you keep people there for their whole bids sometimes. What's a horse program? Um, so it's where they take like retired race horses and then you just go take care of them. So it's like a dog program kind of? Yeah. Okay. And they have it at Lowell. So I, that's what I really wanted to do. And then I got a girlfriend. In prison? Yes. So before that, tell us about the fight you got into with that other woman. Yes. So I was in shackles. I walked in and I tell the cops,

So I'm like, hey, don't put me in there with her. She had called me one day and told me she was sleeping with the guy I had been with for nine years. So I was like, all right, well, I'll find you one day. And she was coming into jail when I was going out, and I just, I spit on her and I tried to wrap the chains around her throat. And they allowed her to press charges on me. Does she fight back at all? No. How bad did you mess her up?

She tries to send me a friend request on Facebook. I'm like. How bad did you mess her up? Not bad. Okay. I was in shackles. Did they end up charge? charging you?

Yeah, twice. And that got added to your sentence? Yeah. They ran it consecutive or concurrent. Okay, so you didn't get additional time? No. Okay. So that happens.

Now you're in prison. They send you to Lowell. Yeah. Tell us about the girlfriend you get. Is that like right away? Pretty much. Yep. Her name was Nisha.

She was black girl. But she helped me through my whole sentence. Like, you know, she had been in prison. in for like, I think her sentence was 15 years. I mean, but I was new. I never really, I mean, I had been with girls before, but not like have a personal relationship with one. In there, it's totally different because that's normal.

Like, if someone's been in there for longer than three years and they're like young and or, you know what I'm saying? Most of them are going to get a girlfriend if they have a long time. She just helped me through so much. But she was like a thief. You know how people be like... One time, like, people's clothes would go missing off the end of their bed. And then, like, people would find the clothes and Nisha's stuff.

And I'm like, my God. Like, you know, so it was really... That kind of stuff was really... I was stunned because I had money in prison. You know, she didn't have a lot of money. So, you know, she probably got with me for the money, but I didn't care because it helped my time go by. What would they do to her if they caught her stealing? Nothing.

So it's laid back. Yeah, girls, it's not like probably men's prison, especially not at the reception center. I mean, people would probably fight sometimes. I mean, she's fault a couple times, but. Now, what does it mean to have a, or actually before that, how did you have money in prison? My mom. She took care of you? Yeah.

Yeah. And what does it mean to have a prison girlfriend? Like, what's that relationship like? Um, I mean, it's really just like having a best friend. I mean, I don't know. It really, I didn't know. I, you know, I just went along with it. and it, you know, had someone there with me all the time.

We got to talk. Sex was great. So it's more than just friendship. It's intimate. It was, yeah. I mean, I learned a lot because I didn't know, like, how girls really had sex. Because I had never really, like, been with just a woman.

So, yeah. Now, were you interested in a woman before you got married? No, not. And I'm not now. So what do you think it was like when you get to prison that happens? Is it in your mind like I have to do this because it's prison or? No, I just went in there and she just was cute and she had already been in prison. So she was probably on the lookout for someone.

You know what I'm saying? And then I just got pulled into the loop. How many fights do you see in there over someone else's girlfriend? Is there a lot of like cat fights over it? Not really where I was. Not really. Is there a lot of jealousy? Yeah, I guess.

Not really. I mean, there was a lot of, like, dressing up or who had to have the most, what do they call it, where you sew your clothes, the most, like, fitted clothes. They would get sewing needles and make their clothes look the best or press them under their bed. and who does the best hair. You know, it was like a show every day. How do guards feel about the girlfriend situations? Do they allow it to happen? Like, are you guys cuddling in the same dorm?

Really? Yeah. And you guys are allowed to stay in the same bed? No. No, but you'll be in the same dorm. Okay. Every time we got separated, me and Nisha, we would come right back and end up in the same dorm.

And what do you say pretty much everyone has a girlfriend? No, not really everyone. But if they didn't at that point, they were most of the time going to find one or trying to find one. Would there be people that had husbands at home or boyfriends having a prison girlfriend? Probably. Not that I know of. Okay. Now, Lowell is known for, didn't they have like a lawsuit with the male prison guards?

Yes. Like raping some of the inmates? Yeah. Did you see any of that? No. Was that after your time or? before? Maybe before, but I never really seen any of that.

I do have a friend that's been messaging me asking me, like, if I remember a situation that happened and I don't, I mean, or if it happened and I wasn't paying attention. When I got out of prison, one of the first things I did was adopt my dog boon from the Dawes Animal Welfare Society. And honestly, that moment changed my life. He was my reminder that second chances are real. Then, just over a month ago, I brought home Bella. our new studio pup, also from Dawes, and she's been nothing but love, energy, and personality

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You're helping the next Bella or Boone find their home. Go to daws.org or hit the link in the description of this episode to donate, let's give these animals the second chances they deserve because sometimes saving them ends up saving us too. So do you spend the whole three years at Lowell or do you get moved to somewhere else? Is that common to spend that much time there? It shouldn't be. It shouldn't be because they should at least, you know, by the time I was done seeing the cancer doctor and everything, I was already in for a year and a half so they never moved me because at that time I had already got in trouble for five. my girlfriend. That was a big thing.

Tell us that story. One day I was like on a tablet and I'm on the top bunk and she comes over and says something to me, snatches the tablet from me and throws it at me and hits me in the face and I jumped off the bunk and I ran down the little alleyway and grabbed her by her hair and like drug her back in the corner and I'm like tried to beat her up and I'm like, leave me. alone like don't put your hands on me and I think a lot of people in there are so broken that you do find a lot of that like women fighting their girlfriends probably that's where the jealousy comes in like you asked um so what do the the staff do when they find out you did this to her

uh I went to they sent me to medical and I just told him I fell and hit my head on the bunk so she never reported no no no No, we knew we didn't want to get separated. Did you guys stay together your whole sentence? Most of it, yeah. Or did anyone cheat on one or another? No. You guys stayed loyal?

Yeah. Who had the longer sentence? She did. She did 15 years. Do you still talk to her to the stay? Yeah. Yeah, she just got out. She's in a halfway house in Orlando.

She calls and asked me for money and I'm like, I'm not sending you any more money. Like, I go out and work. You know, you get that a lot, too, even being on social media, just random people asking you for money. Like, I'm doing this to pay my bills. Like, I, you know, it's not like I ask men to take care of me on there. You know what I'm saying? Like, yeah, it would be nice if someone paid for my toes to get done every once in a while.

But they don't, and I don't ask for it. Now, we hear a lot of the time on the podcast about how men would hustle women in prison, like on the phones and have different, like, girlfriends. Do women do that with men? Oh, yeah. They have sugar datties or they're on, you know, some kind of internet. have the people in the free world get them on these little apps and people would write them. I had a guy write me one time.

My mom put me on there. Just randomly? Yeah, but he was very sick. He had wrote me a letter wanting to know if like a mother-daughter thing, like an incest thing. It was sickening. Wait, what do you mean a mother-daughter? Like wanting to see me with my daughter? That's weird.

That's disgusting. Yeah. I never, they're sick. So from your experience when I'm sure women talk about it in there, are they creeped out by these men that message them? Or are they just playing games? They play games. Do they ever develop feelings or is it just not possible? I'm sure some of them do over time, probably just depending on how much time they have. If, you know, they, if the guy's weird or not, that probably has a lot to do it or how much money he sends.

Will girls talk about it? Like, oh, I just got this guy for X amount. Oh, yeah. What do you think was one of the most outrageous ones you've seen? I really didn't see much. They kind of keep that stuff to their self or you'll hear them talking to their other friends. I was more like a kind of wasn't a groupie.

I just kind of went in there and got under my girlfriend's wing. You know what I'm saying? So that I kind of had someone all the time. So I didn't have to have a bunch of. or friends. What do you think are the most important rules for surviving in a woman's prison? Go get a girlfriend so she can protect you. How do you know who's the protecting? I mean, not that protect, but like show you the way. How do you know who's the protector and who's not? I don't know. I guess you'd have to,

you know, eventually, I don't know. Did you ever find yourself having to protect her? No, I mean, I stuck up for her a couple times, like when she'd steal and then, like, behind closed doors, I'd be like, why are you doing this shit? Why? And her problem was she's been in prison for so long that that's how she survives or that's how she survived, you know, before I went in there and had money. Why was she in prison? What was her story? She had, I think, like, hit a cop, like battery on a Leo. Does that scare you at all?

No. I don't think much scares me. I'm very mentally unstable. Was there any woman's story that really stuck out to you that you were in prison with? My own. Now, what about female chomos, like child molesters? Are they in the same prison as well? I mean, yeah, they probably were, but I didn't really know them.

Or, you know, most of those people have been in there a long time. so we didn't really get to or if they came on to compound they left right away I'm at the reception center so we constantly have people coming and going yeah it's like transit yeah what was it what would a typical day like be for you wake up in the morning shower

baby powder on your neck wait why because that's what they do it's so weird I guess to show they've show they've show they don't know So they put this baby powder all over their neck. And I don't know, I guess to show that they've showered, I don't know. So all the women there are just walking around with powder on their neck.

Is it to feel like they're putting makeup on? No, I don't really know why they did it. I've never seen anyone do it. And I don't see any of them. So I'm friends with a lot of them on social media. And like they'll show pictures and they don't have powder on their neck. So it's got to be some kind of prison thing. I've never heard of this before.

You haven't? You've never even bothered to ask any of them when you were there. Like, hey, why do we put baby powders? No, I just started putting powder on my neck. Okay. Your girlfriend didn't explain it to you at all? No, I don't know. Okay, so you put the baby powder on your neck.

You're walking around with it all day. Yeah. What else is a part of the routine? Go to your job. So I was a cook in the kitchen. And like I love. I love cooking anyway, so it really came. You know, and I learned a lot, like cooking in bulk.

I stole some turkey out of the kitchen one time and went to lock for it. I passed it through the dish drain, and it was like a whole stack of turkey like this. And I went to lock down for like probably 15, 20 days, and then they put me in outside, or inside grounds where I had to weed eat. So did they lock you up that much for some turkey? Yeah. But wouldn't you steal, isn't it common to steal as a cook? Yeah. But that was the only time you got caught for it.

Yeah. What would be other items that you would steal? Salad or, you know, probably salad and turkey. Or seasonings or like cheese, anything for a salad. Oh, mashed potatoes. Well, you guys had that regularly? Yeah. Like powdered mashed potatoes?

Yeah. And would you sell the other? items you stole or is this specifically for you guys? Well, sometimes, yeah, like the mashed potatoes and stuff. Sometimes the turkey. Ready or not, summer is coming. And Wayfair's Memorial Day clearance is on now. Right now through May 25th, get up to 70% off everything home at Wayfair.

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water and then let it get soft and then you open it up because it's like two noodles together and then you open it up and put all your stuff that you want to put tuna or chili or pickles anything in it and you close it back up and you eat it like a sandwich that's actually pretty good yeah i got to try that out with our cooking stuff i've actually seen people they do it in the bag where like the bag's half open they put the hot water in the bag and then they keep it open and they stuff the stuff in there. Yeah. I've always liked my noodles drained, not with the water.

I know some people make it traditionally and they have the water in it like a soup, but I like it just the noodles. Yeah, with some mayonnaise on it. Yeah, it's so good. People think it's gross, but it's so good. You put the mayonnaise and some hot sauce. I put mayonnaise on everything now. It's crazy.

We made some egg salad this morning, and Matt was like, that's disgusting. I was like, it's good. Yeah, we used to steal the hard-boiled eggs out of the chowel in prison and mash it up and do that for days. See, that stuff too. Yeah, we would do that all the time. So the kitchen, did you enjoy that job? I loved it. Like, chicken day was my favorite day. We would still chicken, too. It was just fun. Like, everyone would like to come to the chow hall if I was in the kitchen. So that kind of made me feel good. Like, I'm going to go make y'all some good chicken. Did they have a nickname for you? No.

about how many people are at this prison? To be honest, I'm not sure. Maybe like 1,500. Oh, it's big? No, maybe 1,000. Now that you're saying it's big, I feel like it's probably smaller. Well, compared to like a camp that might have like a couple hundred people. Yeah.

So they probably have like, you know, probably about 1,500 people because 100 or 50 in each side. And there's probably like six or seven dorms on each side. So you go work in the kitchen. and what comes after that during the day? Just go back to the door and watch TV. Play cards. What card game did you guys play? Spades.

Does Angela know how to play? Oh, yeah. Wait, we should play. We should play. We should totally rip it. We should teach Maddie Ice. Do you guys still know how to play? No, but we need enough people that knew how to play Spades.

We got to rip a game after this. That would be so fun. Definitely. So you guys would play Spades. What would you guys watch on TV? What do women watch on TV in prison? Uh, sappy movies, um, the news. That was a big thing watching the news.

That's about it. Why the news? I don't know. I guess they wanted to pay attention to what was happening in the free world. Now you say sappy movies. What do you think was the all-time movie they'd watch regularly? Probably like the Hallmark Channel or something. I never really watched much.

Like sometimes we would have like movie nights and we'd all go sit in. in there, but I have, I think for my drug addiction, my, my, my memory is gone. Like, I, there's, like, I, I, I remember nothing. Like, still to this day, I don't remember barely anything, even if, from weeks ago, or, like, you're asking me about a movie, I couldn't tell you not one movie that I actually sat down and watched in prison. That's how bad the memory is. Speaking of addiction, was the addiction over with by the time you went to prison or while you were in prison? Oh, yeah. No, we didn't have anything at the reception center. And if we did, I never got my hands on it. I never really tried, though. Right at the very end, weed came onto the compound. And we almost got in trouble for smoking some weed, like two months before I got out. And I'm like, I got away from it. I was like, I'm, I mean, I had already lost all my time, all my gain time. So I pretty much did three years to the door because I had a girlfriend and I lost all my.

my game time. So do you think that prison saved you in the sense? Oh, prison saved my life. Oh, yeah, definitely. I came home. I relapsed twice when I came home. So I knew that getting on suboxone was, like, had to be a number one thing for me. Now, Angela, who's going to be the next episode, that comes out after this, you met her in prison as well. That's how you had been friends. Yes, yes. I think it's so cool that some people always ask you, still friends with people from prison. And, you know, the two of you guys are here today. So tell everyone about that meeting and how you guys are still friends. Yeah. So I got out before her and then we just seen each other online on social media and then just friend at each other and start talking or supporting each other. That's big. Like a lot of

people are like, oh, I don't want her to get my followers. But it's like you have to network in this. like this, you know, so you can get more followers or supporting another person to get followers. It's all, you know, networking. Like you've got to, there's, I probably have like six, seven people that I was in prison with that are all sharing their life on social media now. And it's nice to see people actually come out and like try to share their story or their daily life of what they do. So did she stay in touch with you? or did you reach back at her? Both of us.

Both of us stayed in touch. How long were you out for by the time she reached out? I've been out about five years. I think she's only been out maybe two, three maybe. Okay. Two years. And wouldn't she get in touch with you through Facebook? Yeah.

Yeah, when a lot of guys that you would see leave prison, at least in federal prison, we all have like these little contact books and everyone's writing their number down and stuff. I wonder how many people actually follow up with them. Yeah, I don't even think I ever brought my book out. It's still sitting in the bottom of my drawing. Yeah, I wonder what happened on my book. But my number's not the same from what I was when I first went in. And that's a number I would have gave out to people.

But now I get so many messages from people because I'm on social media. They're like, hey, do you remember me and this and that? Do you remember them? Yeah, I remember everyone. I don't respond to people that treated me like shit in there. But they're reaching out. They have the nerve to reach out. I'm like, yeah, I remember you slap the fucking glasses off of my face, you know?

Yeah. So it's crazy. I do only because I... you know, in there, it's like a different life than out here. You know, in there, everyone's fighting for their life or the, you know, fighting for their name in there. Like out here, it's a totally different world because everyone has their own life. So it's like, it's almost like a, you know, who's doing better than who or who can, you know,

I feel like that's where people share on social media. or if they really share like the raw truth about themselves or they're just sharing like the good stuff about their self. So I'm real big on, I mean, you see my post that I make. I, you know, I'm single. So I put that out there a lot only because that gets you a lot of views. I'm not going to date. I don't go out with people on, you know, dating sites. I might be on the dating site. I might never message the people back or, you know, it's just that, you know, getting to know, people in social media world. Yeah, you're very, uh, you're social.

Not really. Well, that's how we connected. I'm really not social. I'm social maybe in by myself. That's the thing I've always fought for. So I have like a, from drug addiction. So I like, you know, like, or my mouth will move sometimes and people will be like, oh, she's high.

And I'm like, oh, no, I'm not. I'm just, I get excited. And that's just been a tick for me. and a lot of people that have went through drugs, you know, that have certain ticks. It's helped me in the camera to actually learn how to talk without moving my jaw or talking a certain way. So you get out of prison, tell us the story after getting out. Do you reconnect with your kids right away? Oh, yeah, I went straight home to my kids.

My boys were probably 16 and 14. I went home. I stayed home for about six months, and I started working painting houses with my friend. She had her own business painting, and I bought a car from her through work, and then I had gotten another job bartending. So I was like, huh, I'll give this car to my son, and then I'll just buy me and another car. And then I started bartending and I've really, I travel all over the United States, bartending,

PGA golf tournaments, music festivals. It's definitely a different way of life and I really don't know how I get through every day. But I just take the next step or whatever I have to do. I don't know. It's kind of hard to, sometimes I feel like I'm out of the person like you, like you don't know what you're doing after such trauma to yourself after an addiction. What do you think is the hardest challenge of rebuilding life after prison? Staying away from people, not getting close to a bad apple.

What do you do when you come across a bad apple or even people from the past? I don't. Like people use AA. So I post a lot about, you know, being sober and stuff. And people are like, oh, well, you should go to AA. Well, no, I don't need to go to N-A or A-A because I will meet a guy there, and that will be my downfall. Men are my downfall. Is it hard to stay sober and work in a bar?

No. I've never been big on alcohol. Do you drink at all? Yeah. So. Yeah, I go out and I'll drink, like, if I'm going on to date or something, but as far as, like, or I'm going out with a girlfriend, but as far as, like, drinking every day, no. Now, that concept is kind of frowned upon in the sober community, right? Yeah.

But I mean, normal people that have never had a drug addiction, they have a drink every once in a while. Yeah, that is true. You know, so if you can't learn that that's okay or that it is okay to go have a drink. And you had never had an alcohol issue. No. So aside from getting into working in bars, what else were you doing to rebuild your life? Just working. Staying home. My social media. The last three years, I've just started sharing on social.

media and shared my life and that people, you know, because a lot of people from my hometown that seen me in my addiction, they, you know, ran with me through the streets. So they're, like, seeing me now. And I just try to encourage people that, like, you don't have to be that person. Like, you can get over it. Like, life does get better. Do you find that restaurants discriminate someone based on a felony for employment? Not in my line of work. I have. I work at the Jaguar Stadium, the Vi-Star Stadium. One time at the Vi-Star Stadium, when I first started working there, one of the bartenders told my boss, she was like, she's on drugs. And my boss follows me on social media.

And so my boss is like, Tanya, I won't let you put you with her ever again. So I was like, okay. I mean, and now we're friends. Like, now she follows me on social media. So that was kind of nice, but you still people judge by looks. What do your kids think about your journey? When my son graduated, my middle son, he said, it's okay, Mom, now you can start only fans. I was like, no, no.

Do you have a really good relationship with them now? Yes. My oldest, like I said, just went to the Air Force, well, the new Space Force. Yes, I have the best kids ever. Like, they don't resent me. And I'm lucky that I got out of prison at that time because, like, they didn't. I had time to make it up to them before they had their mind made up of who I was as a person. Do you feel like you still struggled to make peace with not being there for?

So my middle son when I first came home, he said, Mom, every time I ask you to do something, you have to do everything. everything I asked because you've been gone for so long. And I have. Did you see other women struggling to reconnect with their families that you were in prison with? Yeah. Yeah, you get that a lot. Like people not hearing, like the girlfriend I had, she didn't really get to talk to her son a lot. So it was kind of, you know. And then like her grandma raised her kid and her mom was in prison too. So it was kind of like, I don't know, it's just, it's just really weird. I never was brought up around this certain crowd of people. So all of their lives were a little, you know, kind of interesting to me.

Yeah. Now, you said your dad was a strict one in the family. How did he feel about you go into prison? Oh, gosh, I brought home the black baby. I mean, I, you know, drug addiction and I got pregnant. And then I'm like, oh, my God, I didn't know if it was going to be white or black. I mean, you know, because I was sleeping with a guy for money at the time, a white guy, and then my boyfriend was black. So when my baby come out, I was like, oh, I'm not rich.

And how's your relationship with your dad now? Oh, great. Great. So good. And your mom? Oh, yeah. Very good. They're so proud of me.

Like, I don't know, my parents just always been kind of hippy. Like I have two older brothers. My oldest brother never had any kids or anything. So he still struggles a little bit. But I think my dad and them have kind of always babyed the firstborn. Do you find yourself thinking about moments from your addiction at all? No, I just think about how I can be better. Like how I can share more to keep people feeling like they have a way out or putting a smile on someone's face that helps me with my addiction.

I feel like social media has helped me with my addiction a lot because I feel like now I have something to stand up to. Like I can't fall back now. Do you think that keeps you away from having urgency? That is my social media is my N.A. I guess when you put you when you're public and you you put it out on the world that it holds you accountable yeah and that doesn't just apply to you know addiction it's uh you know weight loss could be a good one or yes I yeah I have a lot of friends I have a lot of friends that are sharing their weight loss journey and you know it's it's whatever you're trying to share you know some

people like you have a podcast some people sell themselves me you know some people sell a cleaning business or anything, you know. That's one good thing about social media is you, there's, you can go any avenue, whatever you want to share or share. You know, the hardest part is just putting yourself out there to that many people and people will judge you in the beginning, but you push forward and you'll attract the people that are meant to be there. Yes. What advice would you give your teenage self if you were sitting across from her today before you ever got addicted to drugs? Oh. Hmm. Don't do drugs.

Stay away from boys at a young age. Boys will tend to bring you down. Worry about yourself, go to college. Don't run and try to fall in love. Do you see yourself getting married, falling in love? I've never been married. Yeah, maybe one day. It's going to take a lot.

I think the right person will come at the right time. Yeah. You don't want to close yourself off. No. You could always marry Maddie Ice if it doesn't work out. Yeah, that'll work. Hey, Maddie. Well, Tanya, I appreciate you coming on the show today.

All right. Thank you. Yeah, thank you.