Locked In with Ian Bick - I Sold to Undercover Cops | Bryan Tamburrino

Episode Date: March 12, 2023

 Bryan Tamburrino just might have been the worst drug dealer on the planet, regularly getting high on his own supply, barely turning a profit and selling repeatedly to undercover cops. Listen to Bryan's story of how he went from drug addict to prison inmate and how he was able to turn it all around and become a successful entrepreneur.  Connect with Ian Bick: https://www.ianbick.com/Subscribe to our membership program on YouTube to get early access to interviews, see behind the scenes photos & more:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRvVklIft6DMelVW18M0oBw/joinPowered by Q29 Productions, LLC Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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My name is Ian Bick, and you're tuned in to locked in with Ian Bick. On this week's episode, I sit down with Brian Tamborino. Brian was facing 10 years in a Connecticut state prison after selling cocaine to an undercover officer. We all make mistakes, experience failure, and fall down in life. But if you decide to get back up and use it as fuel to your fire, you can choose to not let it define you. You can make it through to the other side and turn it into an opportunity. I went from owning a popular nightclub when I was 19 years old to becoming a federal inmate by the time I was 21. Join me, Ian Bick, as I interview people from all over the country who have experienced the

rock bottom of the American justice system. Brian, my man, thanks for coming on today. Thank you for having me. Really actually excited to have you. You're like our first guest that is not like a major TikTok star, obviously besides my dad's episode. But I think it'll be good to hear your story and have you on the show because your story is so relatable to the average person.

And I hope that's like something the audience will take away from this at the end of the episode. Now I like to jump in and start at the beginning of someone's story. I think it's important to find out like where they come from. So what's your childhood like? How did you grow up? How are you raised? And where you grew up to.

Shelton. Connecticut. Yeah. And my childhood was fine, right? And I tell people this oftentimes if they ask that, like, there was no, like, big traumatic event. There was no, like, crazy chaos. It was just, but the one thing that I found always kind of followed me was that I was always over-the-top enthusiastic. My enthusiasm didn't really translate well at certain situations because if people saw that, like,

why is this guy so loud or why is he acting rambunctious, right? Something like that. it would always, it wouldn't necessarily mesh with the people that were trying to be more calm or laid back or my friend's parents. It would be like, why can't this kid just chill the F-out, right? So it was a lot, I had a lot of fun. And I think that ultimately that behavior or style of living was what translated into my love or addiction for everything that got me to not only where I am now, but where I found myself in a criminal situation, moving toward the wrong crowd, doing the wrong things.

Did you grow up wealthy, middle class? How did you grow up? Middle class. Middle class. Yeah, we were middle class. Now in high school, are you the popular kid or are you shy? In high school, I was such a nerd, but I always wanted to fit in with everyone, right?

I shouldn't even say nerd because I wasn't like good at school, right? I just kind of went there because, like, I'm a very intelligent person, but I didn't put in much effort. And I think that me always wanted, let's say, first thing that comes to mind is tanning, right? So when I was in high school at the time, everyone was tanning, it was the big, like, Jersey Shore Days GTL. And, like, I just kind of skipped the G.

I never hit the gym, so I was a pretty heavy kid. I remember even, like, fourth grade, I was probably, like, 160. And then high school, I've been the same weight, 250 since high school. and I would try to like be the class clown and I was pretty good at it right so I had a lot of people laughing at me but what I didn't realize at the time is like they really were laughing at me they didn't think that I was just like this popular funny guy so I found myself surrounded by a lot of people but we were back to the tanning subject so in high school everyone's tanning and I went way too often but because I was a heavy kid my neck would like crease. So I remember one day I was sitting in class and this kid was like,

how can you still have that white line on your neck, right? Because I'm very fair-skinned, but then I'm brown because I'm tanning. Except I didn't lift my neck up when I was in the tanning bed. So, yeah, I had this big white stripe. And I think that the moral of that story is that as a result of me trying to fit in,

I actually made myself stand out, but in a bad way. Now these people you're attracting, does that bring you on to start selling drugs? Yeah, I think that because I was putting myself in the wrong scenarios with the people that were embracing bad behavior and found it really entertaining and actually liked me being around because they were doing all the same things that I was. It was very easy to fall into that. scene. And how old are you when you sold your first drug and what is that drug? I started selling drugs at 23 and I started selling cocaine immediately. Why cocaine? Honestly, Blow was my first love. And I say that like with a smile on my face even to this day, it's definitely a problem. But it's, it was a

problem from day one right when i start something like that it's just like foot to the like full throttle when did you try cocaine for the first time i was 16 16 so in between 16 and 23 when you started selling what were you doing did you work or are you just supported by your family right no so i started working in a restaurant at 16 which is how i how i got exposed to it how did you get exposed to it in the restaurant. So, I mean, have you ever worked in a restaurant? Yeah. Right. So people just, people in the restaurant and just party. And it was a very lax environment. Like, I'll come in on a Sunday morning. The managers are sitting at the bar. They're sleeping off a hangover. They're starting to drink. They're starting to do blow it, pick up to get ready for the morning rush or something. And these managers had no

issue giving a 16 year old cocaine. At that time, I don't think so. Wow. And what year is this? 2006. And it's just readily accessible? Right. I mean, I asked, right? But at the time, these people didn't care about me. I was just another employee. And I was a 16 year old kid working in the kitchen. So, I mean, I had one guy that on Friday nights, I'd ask him like, hey, man, can you leave and hit the package store for me? And he would leave in the middle of the dinner rush, go to the package store, come back, and then we would just drink in the kitchen. Right. And people, some people knew, Some people didn't. But either way, that was the first exposure to the drug.

Do you think that lack of them caring towards you carried over to when you started selling and like to clients and to customers? Because when you're putting cocaine or a drug like that out onto the street, there's a potential that someone could possibly die from that, from an overdose. Right. Was there any thought about caring going through your mind at all? So here's the thing, right? I was not like some giant kingpin by any means.

I was a drug addict and I just dabbled in the sales for a little while like because I wanted free blow. That was your motivation to sell because you wanted the drug for free. I wanted it for free. So you weren't motivated by money? I made in a couple of years probably like it's an exaggeration but 50 bucks. and a couple bar tabs. That's it. Like, no money.

So in the grand scheme of all of this, like, I essentially went to jail to get high for free. And I always cared about everyone. Like, people would say, like, why don't you pick this up and sell it instead? And I'll say, like, I'm just trying to give these guys a good time.

And I'm not trying to ruin anybody's life, you know? Because everyone that I would, like, hang out with or give it to or whatever. They were all my friends for the most part, you know. I would just make a little bit of money off them. Do you have any business partners in this cocaine business? No. It's all solo.

It was 100% me. How do you figure out where to get the product from? I mean, I had friends, people that I knew, you know, and at that point it was just a matter of like getting a little bit more than I was used to. Now, so you're a very small fish in this. You're barely making any money. I've never heard of a cocaine dealer that doesn't make money, but I guess you were one of them. And were you ever put in dangerous situations because like you're this white, nerdy, chubby-looking kid that's selling cocaine in Connecticut?

So I was not, at some point I transitioned from being white, chubby, nerdy to more of an aggressive nature surrounded by kind of aggressive people, right? And I don't believe, I'm sure that at some point I was in a dangerous situation. but I was so oblivious at first to really any danger because as I began to drink more and I started to get like I also have a problem with alcohol. I don't drink anymore but at the time I was drinking heavily every day all these different types of liquor and I got it myself in all these crazy situations but I never noticed it as a problem which is why I started to like lose people that were not like me people that cut me off or certain crews don't want to be around me or whatever it is. I never got, I never realized at the time that it was a sticky situation until it was too late.

And I think that's ultimately what got me to where I am now or where I was then. Do you think you were selling drugs in order to be liked, like have a woman be attracted to you, people around you? Yeah, of course. I think that when you live the lifestyle of being in the drug scene, it's easy to go to the bar and say like, hey ladies, like, like, let's. let's go back to my place after this. I got a couple of my buddies. We're all just going to get lit, right? And it's much more appealing than being like some sloppy drunk that just says like,

hey, want to come hang out with me after and maybe I'm going to get laid, you know? So yeah, a big part of it was popularity. I mean, I totally understand that point of view. I mean, I was, I never sold drugs or got into drugs. But when I was throwing these parties and I was like the main, And a lot of it, you know, was driven by that popularity and that surge of, you know, wanting to be liked. And I think a lot of people do things because they want to be like that maybe they will regret later on or don't realize at the time what they're getting themselves into. So it's like it's very powerful in that sense.

Now, what's a, what's a financial breakdown of selling cocaine? I know you didn't really make much money, but how much are you buying it for? How much are you selling it for at that time? And could it have been profitable if you were looking at it from a business perspective? Yeah. So I don't remember exact numbers of purchase or sales or something like that. But here's what I do remember. First, if I was a fiend, it could have been profitable from a business perspective, right?

And second, my breakdown was when I would pick something up, I would be like, all right, this for those I can't see I'm moving my I'm cutting this in half this is to break even this is all mine and that's just kind of how I went with it and like this was just party whatever at my peak I was probably doing like a quarter a day and how much is that is that a quarter is that seven grams seven grams of coke is that enough to kill someone or maybe I'm not really sure. When I got out of prison, I went for this. I just kind of tried to clean, obviously clean my whole life up, right?

And I went to therapy, and I saw a doctor. And one of the doctors that I saw was to get my heart checked out to see if, like, there had been any damage. Now, I didn't have any signs of there being damaged to an organ. But I just wanted to double check because I was doing so much, right? And thankfully, no damage to the heart. And who are you selling to kids or people your age? No, no, never, never kids. Always, always my friends, the people around me, my age, a little bit older.

Okay. Never. So it was never anyone you didn't know? Until the end. Until the end. That's how it always works. Right. So, and the only thing you're selling is cocaine.

There was never any other drugs or anything like that. Yeah. So I think a big reason is like I mentioned before, I don't want to hurt anybody. And the other thing is I don't, I don't smoke weed. so I wouldn't even, I don't even really touch weed and never really have because I don't know about any of you, but if I smoke weed, I just get sleepy, I eat a lot. So pretty much it's like you're spending money to, like you want to talk about the economics of it. Like I'll spend money, just go to sleep when I'm pretty good at napping anyway, right?

Whereas with cocaine, I'll buy a little bit of blow. I'll do it. And then now I got an extra. or 12 hours of daylight. And that brought me to a whole other level because at that point, I started to hate birds. And the reason is I would promise myself every single day. Like, I'd never want to hear these birds chirp in the morning again.

Just because, like, I would try to go to sleep, try to go to sleep, can't go to sleep, can't go to sleep. And then eventually the sun would come up. Now it's time to start my whole day. And I've got these annoying birds chirping. And like, I don't know what it was about that sound. but it was like to me it was the sound of like desperation right because now it's time to go to work or everybody else is asleep and now I have to spend the whole day up looking back on it now

now that you read all those articles and see in the news about like fentanyl and people overdosing from things like cocaine do you have any regrets in regards to that how does that make you feel because that very could have much happened to you back then to you as a user or to you as one of your clients that was buying from you? Right. I think that today's influx of fentanyl into all drugs is very disappointing. And had it been me at the time, I don't know that I would have tried it. And I don't know that I would have got, I know I would have tried it.

But I know that I would not have gotten as deep into blow had I known that at the time or experienced that. Even the smallest, even if I had questioned it a very tiny bit about, like, questioned my experience using it at all. The reason I say that is because I'm not trying to die, right? And I would have never put anybody that I gave this to at risk like that. And that's a big part of why I never transitioned to moving anything else. What's going through your mind on an average day as a drug dealer? Are you afraid because the possibility of getting caught or at this point in your life do you just not give a shit very laid back about it and there's just no regard?

So I was very laid back and that was and I trusted a lot of people that I should not have trusted. But toward the end, I was doing so much and I was always paranoid, right? I'd be driving home from work because I had a day job. It was corporate. And I'd be driving home. from work and I'll see a car behind me and I always thought I was being followed and I'll be on my front porch and across the street there were some bushes in front of the neighbor's house and I was convinced that like I would hear a noise I was convinced it was the police um the paranoia said it and it

was just like I always thought I was in a sticky situation but only toward the end when it was really too late and on that thought were there any times that you almost got caught? I know you eventually get caught, but were there almost like any near case situations? Maybe you got pulled over. They did a search at work or anything like that. Dude, I was the, I've never, they've never done a search at work,

but I almost got caught either drunk driving or with product on me at almost, if I had to guess 10, 12 times. And it wasn't because of the suspicion of how. having drugs on me. It was always because, but I was always really good at talking my way out of it. I've received more breaks than I should have. And an example is,

it's like Halloween night a couple years before, maybe a year or two before I got arrested. I had stuff in my car. Me and my buddy were at a bar, downtown shelf, and drinking. We were going to meet these girls in Fairfield, right? And Fairfield, Connecticut. it. We're driving to that bar and I was speeding and I got pulled over by a state trooper.

So one trick that I thought was good and I guess it's worked in the past, but I would keep a pack of gum in the center console like the kind where it's the paper wrapper so that I can just like slowly eat it and not have to worry about unwrapping before the cop gets to the window. And see, that's the kind of thinking that I had at the time because I was always in in a situation that I was planning on how to get out of before it actually happened. Why do you think you put yourself into those situations? Why drive drunk? Why do any of that? I was reckless, right? Always reckless. And I did everything. I was over the top with everything. But I got pulled over on the highway. State Trooper says, but they come to the passenger side,

not the driver because it's the traffic, right? So he's like, what's going on? You were speeding. And I said, I don't know, this guy, like, I'm designated driver tonight. It sucks. Why is it smell like beer? Well, you're talking in my buddy's face. He's been drinking all night. And you're drunk while this conversation's going on. Right.

And ultimately, he lets me go, speeding ticket. Then later that night, I'm in Fairfield. Once again, same car, stuff in the back, brake light out. Breaklight that had been out for about eight months. But like I said, I'm not making any money off selling. So I don't. I don't have the money to pay for a light bulb. And I got pulled over later that night.

Once again, drunk, pop a piece of gum. And now we had been drinking for like another three hours. The cop comes up. He's blah, blah, blah. Your taillights out. I'm like, oh, I'm so sorry. Use the designated driver line again. He's about to let me go.

And then the girls that we were going to, he says, where are you going? I said, we're going to meet with these girls, whatever. And the girls that we were going to meet with pulled around the, the, the median, parked on the other side of the road, start yelling like, hey, you're coming, whatever. He's like, those are the girls. I said, yeah, bro, this is why I'm trying to get out of here. And the point that I'm trying to make is that rather than just taking the win and leaving,

I started to make a lot of jokes. Like, hey, officer, come back here. Let me, you know what I mean? Just like joking around with him, trying to, like, impress the women. Rather than just getting out of there and realizing that I just caught another break. So this is twice in one night. very close encounters, but I laughed it off for months and years. My friends tell that story to this day.

Like, I can't believe you got out of both of those. Do you look back on it now and say, think to yourself that this could have went so much differently? Yeah. Like I look at situations in my life and I'm like, some of the things I was lucky enough to get through, had they gone another way, would have seriously changed my life on a whole other level? Yeah.

So with you, you know, if you would even take it. killed someone that night by drinking and driving or anything like that, it could have changed your life drastically. I've probably broken the law more times than I can count, and especially when I was drinking heavily, because at one point, I used to make jokes to my friends, that I was a better driver when intoxicated than I was sober. And that was like 100% true, because I never used to let anyone drive me, right? So just think about countless times that I put everyone on the road in danger just because I wanted to have a little fun. I could have, I got my first DUI when I was 21. I mean, I'm sure that's the shit that keeps you up at night too when you see other people

that don't come out of situations like that alive like you see every day. Someone crashed from a DUI, someone died. Right. That could have very well have been you. Right. And like I know I think about situations I got out of and that shit still haunts me and keeps me up at night. Right. So it's got to be a scary thought. And that was a big part of me like that's a big part of me staying sober today because I'm just thinking about like when it when it was time for me to make amends to like say my family members or something. There's no way for me to make amends to someone that I may have happened to pass on the street that day. Right.

So the only way that I can really do it now is to try to live right and not make it happen again so that I don't put other people in danger anymore. Now, May of 2016, you finally get arrested. Describe that scene for me. What's it like? A few months before, maybe six months before May 2016, a guy that I was close friends with at the time, he calls me out of the blue. And he's like, do you want to go to this place in Fairfield?

Now, I hadn't been hanging out with him. Like, we would meet somewhere, right? But there was no situation where he would ever call me and ask me to pick him up. So I said, yes, I left the bar. I went to pick him up, and he was on foot with his other friend. So now two red flags in a row. I picked them up. We drive to Fairfield, some bar.

I forgot what it was. It was near the Fairfield train station. Are you familiar? All right. So there's a bar right next to the train station in Fairfield. I pull up there. He introduces me to this girl. I'm like, no, no, no.

I don't know what you're talking about. He's like, no, this is my friend. She goes to Sacred Heart, all of this. And I said, you know, I trust him. And for months, this girl was calling me to meet up. I'm trying to switch up locations. And I'm playing right into, She ultimately was a police officer.

She was a police officer. Right, she was an undercover officer. So you were selling drugs to an undercover officer? Right, and this is how I got caught up. And this guy had set me up. Why did he set you up? To this day, I've not found out. I never asked him.

At that point, I was convinced it was him. I said, this is it. I don't like it. I'm not ever going to talk to him again. I've seen him maybe twice. he's tried to say hello, I just kind of nonchalantly brush it off or pretend I don't see him. And reason is because, I mean, you think about it like, is it worth the confrontation now with where I am? And I personally don't think so.

Well, you also have to look at the question, did he technically save your life for the better? Right. Had he not snitched, and obviously snitching isn't an acceptable thing, but had he not done that, you have to look at yourself now. Your life is going to be, you could be dead right now. You really don't know. And that's actually a very good point because at my sentencing, after they had sentenced me, they said, the judge, what was his name, Earl Richards. He says, do you have anything that you'd like to say before we take you in? And I just said, like, thank you to the Fairfield Police Department because it ultimately did save my life.

I have no doubt about it that I would be in a much worse situation now had I continued down that path. So they do this three month or several month undercover investigation. You sell to an undercover female agent multiple times. They don't arrest you yet. Then May 2016 comes along. You finally get arrested. What happens during that scene? So I'm driving to work that morning.

And I look in the rear view. I told you I was paranoid, but I know that this is true. So with the old Impala undercover cars, if they hit the blinker because the blinkers have strobes in them, it would have a quick flicker before. the blinker actually turned on. And I noticed that. So I moved back into the left lane. And then the car moved back.

And then I had to get off the exit right. And the car moved back right. So at this point, I know it's, I'm convinced, right? I go to work. I forget about the entire day. I'm coming home from work. It's a funny story because it was actually, my girlfriend at the time had just graduated from her master's program.

And I was supposed to meet her. But I was like, all right, let me just stop and meet this person quickly. but when I pulled up to this four-way intersection in Fairfield all of a sudden my car is surrounded most except for two of them were masked the police officers were masked and like ski masks yeah like those black uh what do you call late that neaprene do you know what I'm talking about like the baklava type things or whatever right pretty much to conceal their identities um guns drawn and see I'm still trying to

talk my way out of it at that point. I knew what it was for. How do you talk your way out of this situation? I was not able to, but I said like, wow, officers, all this just for running a stop sign because I knew I rolled through the sign, right? Turn off the car, this and that. They take me in and they drive the car to the, they didn't get it towed. They drove it to wherever they drove. Did you have drugs in the car? Yeah, at the time, I got very lucky. But they already had a warrant for your arrest at that point when they got you. Exactly. So they had to make a whole big scene. They couldn't just come to your house peacefully. They had to like pull you over and do this whole thing. At the exact same time that they pulled me over, I was just about to move back in with my mother and she just

moved into a new place. So they were raiding her house at the same minute that they were arresting me. What's going through your mind when they're slapping the cuffs on you? Honestly, it didn't hit me until I had been locked in there for a couple of hours because I was still really high. Now, I read in one of the articles that you were selling next to a school. If you weren't selling to kids, why even bother selling next to a school? Right. That's a great question. So the articles are very misleading. I told you that this girl, I was trying to switch up spots, right? When we would meet, when I would meet the undercover officer. And it wasn't actually, it wasn't that I was hanging out in elementary schools waiting for some kid to come out.

it was that she would say meet me at this commuter lot and according to the state law a school zone consists of like obviously schools but also daycares or day facilities so like if if you have a house that's in your licensed to run a daycare and housing projects are also grouped into that which i think is is a setup right you got bamboozled right so we would i'd say like no meet me at this but it's in within a certain radius, not linear miles. So if you, as the crow flies, there may be a daycare in someone's house right over there that I've not known about. I think this is just a commuter lab, but actually this is a good location for them to put me,

to set me up in that specific situation because they're really trying to make time stick. They thought I was a kingpin. So, and then finally, when they pulled me over, once again, it was in front of a school. It just happened to be on that road. Once you get arrested, you're brought to the local jail or police station. What's a booking process like? So Fairfield County, sorry, Fairfield Police Department, they brought me in.

They start to ask me questions. They ask me, where's this stuff in your mother's house? I'm saying, listen to me. I've got everything in my car. That's it. I had like. They didn't know you're the world's worst drug dealer at that point. Right. Right.

They thought I was this guy, man. So they're like, I felt terrible for my family because like my siblings were young at the time. So obviously I would never bring anything around them. But they didn't know that I'm like this nice guy with a drug problem. So they're flipping drawers and dressers and couches and cutting stuff open and I feel bad for my family. So I'm telling them like, listen, just leave my mother's house alone. Everything that you see in the car, that's all there was. And I only had like three grams for personal use in the car.

car. Were you talking to them without a lawyer? To say that, right? And just like, leave her stuff alone. Um, and then my girlfriend was blowing up my phone. Like, where are you? Because we were supposed to meet at dinner for her graduation. And, wow, you dropped the ball on that one. Right. Or, well, she's like a four Xs ago at this point. But, um, she's blowing up my phone. And they have like the three grams that. I was telling you about like maybe $20 cash and my cell phone on the table. And one guy's outside looking at my car. The detective is like a huge jerk.

He answers the phone when she's calling. And I'm like, listen, I just got arrested. Don't call me again. I'll talk to you when I get out of this situation. And then I hung up the phone. And now he's even more mad. They put me in the cell, and after taking the mug shots and stuff, they put me in the cell, and I'm just waiting. Do you get out that same day?

So, yeah, I called my mother with my phone call. She's like my lifesaver, bro. That was your first phone call. Yeah, she's like my biggest supporter and everything. And even back then, it's like... Wishing you could be there live for the big game, soaking up the atmosphere in the crowd. But too often, life gets busy, or the price hold you back. Price Line is here to help you make it happen.

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If we find anything suspicious, like new loans or changes to your financial accounts, we alert you right away. All through text, phone, email, or the LifeLock app. Get the alerts that could make all the difference. Save up to 30% your first year at LifeLock.com slash podcast. Terms apply. It's really funny, actually, because the police that were raiding her house went up to her husband and asked, like, start asking questions. She's like, you better not say a word to these people. Your mom's an old school. Yeah, yeah.

How much was your bond to get out that day? I don't remember. But it's different than like a federal case. You have to only pay a percentage in the state to get out. Right. So I think I ended up paying back maybe $10,000 to the bond agency. Yeah. And you lose that money.

You don't get it again. Right. Never receive the money back. So you go home that day and then an article comes out about you with the mugshot of the century. You're in the yellow jumpsuit. It's great. You look high as a kite in it. What was the backlash from that mugshot in those news articles all over town? You're in a small town. People recognize you. What's the backlash? Do friends stop talking to you? Are people saying anything to you? What happens to your job? So at that point, the police had taken my car when they locked me up. And it's actually

funny because he was like the lead detective was boasting like I'm going to be driving around your new car this and that but what they didn't know is that I was broke I just had a nice car that I had loaned and I had out on a loan so I was like you could have it you just got to pay the bank back you know and I was a smart ass with them like the whole time so when we got um when I got home I had no car I had no money I was living with my mother again um And then I tried to go to work the next day. I borrowed my sister's vehicle. And we had a, I worked at this company in Wilton.

Did they know about the arrest? So they didn't until the next, it was, that was like a Friday, I think. So they didn't know about it until Monday because it hit Twitter and their company was tagged in it. So because the Fairfield Police Department was like, if you don't help us, then we're putting you everywhere. And that is why the story looks so bad, right? That's why the story makes me out to be a kingpin because I didn't help them. So, and they think that I'm part of this, like, huge operation, which has absolutely nothing to do with Fairfield at all, except I was caught in Fairfield. That's the only component that's related to.

So that's why it says a number of school zones. That's why it says large quantity bagged up. That's why it says, like, all of these different things. And that's why it was shared to, like, every social media and news outlet that Fairfield had access. to. Yeah, the day I was arrested, the headlines before, I think while they were slapping the cuffs on me, they already had the headlines going out on Twitter. Danbury, teen nightclub owner arrested by FBI and IRS on 15 federal charges. And that was just everywhere. Everyone from high school is retweeting it. It's all on Facebook. People are bad-mouthing it. And I think that's just like

one honestly shitty situation about the current criminal justice system. because it's not, you know, innocent until proven guilty. It's guilty until proven innocent. And those articles hit. You're losing your job. You're losing relationships. You're losing friends. And that's just one side of the story.

You're not even giving a chance to explain your side. Most of the time these news organizations publish and then they'll ask you for feedback or comment. And most of the time you'll say no on advice of counsel. But that stuff's already out there. And you don't know who that's getting tainted to or what people's opinions are. Like for you to lose your job in that moment, is that really a fair situation? I don't know. You had no effect on the job.

You weren't selling drugs at the job. So it's just, it's one of those things that like needs to kind of change in the world. Right. I agree. And, and my experience with losing the job was that I walked up to the door and I had a key card to get in and I went to swipe and it didn't work. And I've never been, I've still to this day not been officially fired like terminated by management. I think that's how the Twitter workers are feeling right now. But yeah, I had no bank account. They took my cell phone so I didn't have a phone.

They were probably able to get on my Facebook. I don't know, but an old friend of mine told me that someone had been messaging him. I just did away with all social media because I didn't want to see people that I had thought at one point to be friends or acquaintances or whatever sharing my article or anything like that on their stories to say like, ha ha, look at this guy. Because honestly, that's hurtful, right? How did seeing that article affect your mental health? Horribly.

My mental health was in grave danger. Like it was the worst it had nearly worst it had ever been because it's so discouraging to log onto the internet or just walk around thinking that everyone that you see has also seen you, right? in such a bad light. And I knew the whole story, but not everyone did. So they're only seeing what they believe the news is reporting properly. But I had never done, I was 70% innocent in that other than meeting this officer, right?

And selling drugs to your friends. Right. Yeah. So, I mean, I did a lot of shitty things. Do you stop using drugs at this point? Yeah. You go cold turkey. Yeah.

So my sobriety date is May 20th, 2000. 16. Wow. Congratulations. Yeah, thank you. So the second you got arrested, that was the time that you stopped doing drugs. Yeah, because it's one of those situations. It's a daughter.

Is it God, right? We got an attorney that my mother knew at the time. I had never been in that serious of trouble, so I didn't have a criminal attorney. And my mother knew this attorney, and she got me this guy. And he just happened to be sober, too. And it was kind of inspirational a little bit because he was like, listen, And he also kind of sold it to me as in like, listen, you stay sober. I'm going to do everything I can to get you out of this.

And my thought is like, guys like me don't get in trouble. So I didn't think I was going to have a penalty. I stay sober for an extended period of time. I'm going to therapy. I'm getting all these letters from ILP and the therapist and people in like my sponsors and stuff, like all these different letters. And we're just turning them in every day at court. but then when I found out, like, all right, sentencing time.

Did you feel entitled like that you were this middle-class white kid that shouldn't get jail time for selling some drugs? I don't know that I felt entitled, and I think it's because of the years, the track record of doing really crappy things that many times I felt guilty about doing. And you were hoping your luck wouldn't run out. Exactly.

Now, did your mom and dad know, or your family know that you were not only selling drugs but using drugs actively? No. So I was very good at hiding my drug use and a lot of my alcoholism. Like my mother had very little idea. Now she knew that I drank, but she had never seen me more than what I would consider fucked up. Like she had never, I've passed out or something, but she didn't know that I was drinking

every day. and at the time of like up to the arrest like the last year or two years I hadn't been living with her so when I would see her I'd be sober or at least appear sober you ever try to ask for help or you from for anyone from your parents from your girlfriend or was that not even a thought to ask someone hey I need help I'm addicted and and I need to get some help no never I've never asked for help for that situation before I got arrested. I've never told my family, like, I've got a drug problem. It was always something that I was kind of, like, ashamed of telling them

or ashamed of bringing to light because I thought that my family would be judgmental. And the friends that knew that I had a drug problem, they just, they've tried to say, like, hey, buddy, you know, it's a Tuesday night. Like, what happened to only on Fridays and Saturdays? and at some point they just got tired of it because I was not only just rude but then I became like a liability to these people thinking that oh maybe someone's going to show up and harm us rather than just Brian right um and I had been cut off from almost everyone at that point except the people that I was actively getting high with so it was like

no opportunity for me to ask them for help because they needed help themselves. So you were just around a bunch of people that were just constantly enabling you. Correct. You guys were essentially enabling each other. Correct. Do you think that goes through a lot of people's minds that are currently addicted to any type of substance right now? Yeah, I think that if you have a bad enough addiction, you don't want to be around people that you see doing well. or in most cases, right?

This is obviously very generalized, but I don't want to be unemployed and then be around a whole bunch of rich, successful folks that have made something of themselves because it makes me feel bad. So in the sense of like me not being able to put together a couple of hours of sobriety and then I see all of my good friends doing well and living to their potential, then it's like now I've got some internalizing to do. I have to start looking at like why is this a problem for me?

Like why can't I be like them and I feel like an outcast? And the only way to really solve that problem is to put yourself around people that are similar, in which case fall into crowds like reckless behavior, drug addicts, alcoholics, so on. What are the final charges you end up getting charged with? So you mean, you know, what was my sentence or the actual charges? No, the charges. Like what was the actual on the sheet of paper that you get?

What are you charged with? How many felonies? Any misdemeanors? Anything like that? So no misdemeanors. I don't remember exactly. Do you have it written down? Because I believe it was seven, seven felonies?

Seven, wow. Five or seven? One of the two. Do you get a public defender or a paid attorney? No, I had a paid attorney. So that first attorney that I told you was sober. he was a great guy but he wanted me to turn myself in in October long story short he was he had history with the judge so he didn't want to go up against the judge and then at that point I had started dating a

new girl and against all better judgment she gave me enough money to hire a new attorney this new girl you started just gave you money to hire an attorney correct that's a good girl right Yeah, she was, she was very nice, but I also probably damaged, damaged some of her life, even though I was sober. But she, yeah, so she was trying to keep me out of prison. And she gave me, I don't know, however much, I got a new attorney. And that attorney ended up buying me like another three months. Do you take a plea deal or you go to trial?

No. So I would have gone to trial if. You were caught red-handed. What are you going to trial about? Honestly, I was just thinking, like, listen, and I told my attorney this a number of times, like, it would have been a horrible decision to go to trial. But I said the prosecutor was not coming off of 10 years. That's what they wanted to give you.

10 years. Mandatory. Flat. Mandatory 10. And I just told my attorney, like, if I'm already going away for 10 years, we might as well just gamble, try to make me seem innocent. And, of course, that wouldn't have panned out well, knowing what I know now. but I was desperate.

Right. Exactly. So you agree to the 10 years. So when I went to final sentencing, they knowled some of the charges. I don't remember which. And then they gave me 10 years, suspended after 18 months, and then when followed by a year of parole. So it was like 18 plus a year of parole, total 10 years. with the condition that for the next six, if I get in serious trouble, I finish the 10.

So 10 minus 18. What's your mindset going into sentencing? Because you don't know anything about like nollie the plea or anything like that. You're going into sentencing thinking you're getting 10 years in prison or up to 10 years in prison. What's going on in your mind? At that point, I had nine months to fight the case. and nine months to figure out to, like. It's been nine months since your arrest to send it to him.

So it sped up pretty quickly. It did. And we weren't able to drag it out any longer. I was hoping that staying sober and going to all these programs would help me stay out. Were you working at all? No. No. I didn't have a job.

And that's one thing that I'm like really trying to push to help people post incarceration that can't find work, right? because I wouldn't have been able to start this job had I not been so motivated or business, had I not been so motivated or resourceful enough to ask questions and figure out how to put this thing together because no one was hiring me. So sentencing, you go in there and you're facing 10 years. When the judge reads you that sentence, are you relieved that it wasn't as bad as it could have been? Absolutely.

Absolutely. But then you had to realize that you were going to jail too at the same time. Right. So the first thing that I said, I was there with my girlfriend, my mother, and my younger brother. And I told them all like, you know you're all sad. Do not cry. Did they take you in that day? They did.

They slapped the cuffs on you right away. Right there. So there's no self surrendering in the state prison. No. They just take you. Like in TV, when someone's found guilty at trial, they just take you right away. Right. So that's very different from federal cases because like in my case,

when I was found guilty, I was allowed to continue to be on bond up until sentencing, or until in my case when I got my bond revoked. So in your case, they took you in right away. What's going through your mind at that point when you're getting hauled out of the courtroom and on your way to jail? You've never been to jail before. It's crunch time. What's going through my mind is it's crunch time. I'm now toughen up, accept it, make the best of it, figure out what to do. And my thought was that, damn, I'm scared, right? All I have for experience, like my family members have never been to jail. I don't think my family members have even been in real trouble.

You see experiences of being in prison on TV. And it was mislead. I'm going into a level two facility, though. So my attorney had told me, like, listen, it's not going to be dangerous, not going to be violent. You're going to with a bunch of people. It's going to be like summer camp. he didn't say exactly that but more or less that's what he said um so we sit down we i'm sentenced i'm taken away and when we're walking downstairs they're like this whole uh there's

like a large jail cell in bridgeport court um and then there are a couple small um private jail cells so they put me in the small one because they knew it was my first time i was very polite to everyone and they put me in the small. I just started doing push-ups. Right away. You got sentenced to prison 10 minutes earlier and you're sitting there doing push-ups. Yeah, I had nothing else to do.

So that- Are you a certain like authority and dominance or whatnot? No, no. I just figured like this is what it is, you know? And I told you I was out of shape, right? So my whole thing was that like... It's okay. I was that fat kid in prison that was trying to do push-ups

and sit-ups the first weekend. Right. Because there's like this mentality, you go to prison, bam, you got to start working out and getting lean, getting buff. I said if there was one thing I was going to take from this was I was going to transform my body. Right. And that's kind of where I was at too, because I thought to myself, like, I've been lying to myself for the last eight months that I was going to get back in shape or get in better shape. Are you strip searched right then in there too? Yes. When you're processed in? Yep.

What's that feeling like to do the squat and cough and get strip searched? It was terrible. Very demeaning, demoralizing. Definitely demoralizing. And I think that, but you know what? I'm so petty that one of the things I was most concerned about was they cut the string off my North Face jacket, right? Not allowed to have this.

Right. I didn't know that or I would have cut it myself. But I went in with like two pairs of sweatpants, three t-shirts on that day, a whole bunch of underwear, which I then found out that you can't wear sweatpants with pockets and you can't have V-neck t-shirts. So I ended up wearing all these clothes just to be stripped down and put back into a jumpsuit. Now you get to the prison. What's the first day in prison?

Like, are you making friends? Are you meeting people? Is anyone trying you because of your age? So a lot of people were asking me like, oh, like all your fresh in. This is my first time. This and that. We're in the ice cream truck. We're brought from the courthouse to Bridgeport County.

They call it the ice cream truck. What do they call it in federal? It was just like the transport. Oh, yeah. In Bridgeport, they call it the ice cream truck. So they have two benches separated by a wall in the middle. And you got about six, eight guys back there. Luckily, it was like temperate conditions. It was not hot. So it wasn't that uncomfortable. But we're all chained together. And one guy, oh, what are you in for? Blah, blah, blah, blah. Everyone's asking me. And I tell them. And it was like, I don't know, I was just ready. So we get to Bridgeport County. First thing I see is one of my elementary school friends was a CO. I'm like, here we go, right? We get in this whole room. We get the strip search, squat and cough, put on this jumpsuit, this and that,

give me whatever they took. The clothes that weren't allowed in prison and then were in county jail. And then they just kind of shipped us off to what at that point was called, at that time was called the blocks. So it's like if you get arrested, in the jail and you don't get bonded out that day, you go to the blocks to await sentencing or your hearing or whatever. But for whatever reason, the whole crew that I came in with went straight to the blocks. So this is the single cell, two beds. So you were going to sell your whole sentence?

No. Only for the first month. So you're supposed, if you're a sentence, you're supposed to be out of there very quickly. But for whatever reason, they kept, right, and no one was transferred in or out. And we kept going on lockdown so that like what should have been like an hour lunch, breakfast, and dinner and then like maybe an hour of TV time at the end of the day or something, ended up being like no calls, don't leave, you know? Once you got through intake, got processed, settled in, you did this first month in a normal prison setting. What's a typical day like?

Are you in a cell? Are you in a dorm? What's the setting of this prison? So for about a month I was in a cell. I didn't have any commissary. This is something I want to touch on. I think that it sounds so crazy, but when you're going to prison, I think that you should have a period, someone that briefs you on like what to expect, right?

Based on level, like, are you going on on a Friday? When are commissary slips do? Because I'm coming in blind. I don't know anything about commissary. All I know is that I have money on my books and I want to, I want to get something to snack on, right? So I missed the first commissary slip. They won't take it. It's policy.

I understand. Then I got to wait a week, but then we were on lockdown. And I'm sitting in the cell the first night. My bunky is the Spanish guy. The whole time we were in intake, people are asking, what did you do? What did you do? And he's like, you don't want to know, man. About the Spanish guy?

The Spanish guy, right? He's saying, like, you don't want to know. And everyone's like thinking like, all right, something's up. But then they keep asking him, pressing him. He's just like, you don't want to know. And then the next morning, I got a funnier story after this, the next morning we're watching the news or it was launch or something. And he's on the television talking about how he did some stuff with like a very, very young child. So there's sex offenders and violent criminals in the state prison with you.

Right, because at this point it was only county. So county is technically considered like a level four or something. Everyone's sent there before they're shipped off to everywhere else. Did anyone think you were a sex offender because you were white and young? I don't know no one's ever accused me of being a sex offender, but I didn't know that you needed your paperwork to prove it if anyone did ask. They have paperwork in state prisons too. They do.

So it's like your intake form that lists your charges or whatever it is. And I was like, I don't need this. So I just threw it away, right? And a lot of people asked me like, like, oh, what do you mean for? Whatever. And I would explain the last, like, you have your papers. maybe a few. I say a lot, but maybe two or three, the whole stay. But no, I didn't have them. So I'll just try to explain. And then I was just like, listen. How old are you right now at this point?

Right now? Today. No, at this point. When you're in prison for the first time. When I first went away, I was 27. 27. 27. It was 2000. No, no. Yeah, 2017. Did you have to get in any fights at all? Never. I've never fought. So you kind of stayed out of the way, kept to yourself? Right, exactly. That was one thing that the attorney told me, like, go in, be quiet, just do what you got to do, get out. No one ever tried to give you a hard time? There was one guy that tried to press me for a minute, but I've just kind of like ignored it. And I was just like, for instance, when I finally got commissary and I was being transferred to a different facility, they said like, oh, you're not supposed to take your commissary with you.

You're supposed to leave it here. And I think that they were just trying to take advantage of that I didn't know anything But obviously I took it and then when like I was walking out they yell whatever they yell like Did you see any contraband at all? In level two there aren't any so where I was ultimately transferred was level two In the meantime in the county there are things like people strip the wires on plugs to boil water, right? Yeah, we called it a stinger.

Right, exactly, stinger. So there's stingers. I didn't see any, like, dangerous weapons. Any cell phones or drugs? I did not see any cell phones or drugs, no. But I did see, like, TVs. So TVs that were purchased, what they call off the land, did they say that in federal?

All right, so it's pretty much just like when you're in the large dorm, if someone has a TV, they leave it. if they're getting released. And then the people will just sell it. And they call it like that you're buying it from off the land. So I had a TV that I bought off someone else, which later found out that it was technically contraband. What can you get on a prison TV?

Is it just like anything? Can you get Netflix on it? What are you doing? So this was pre- Netflix. But what most people don't know, is that you get free cable in prison. Free cable. In level two prison in Connecticut, we had free cable.

So my recommendation, if you go to prison, buy a TV immediately. Because I don't know that this is the same in federal or out of Connecticut. We didn't get any TVs. No TVs to purchase. That's miserable. I mean, there is TVs in like TV rooms and stuff, but yeah, there's no personal TVs. No, this place really was like summer camp. Everybody had a, everyone had their own personal TV.

Everyone's level two, been there a while, ready to get out. This is pretty much just like me waiting at this point. Like, I'm, I'm calm. Like, everyone's kicked back. I remember, do you watch the show Chicago PD? I've heard of it. I've never watched it. All right.

So it's like one of my favorite TV shows. And one thing that I was most disappointed about when I was going away is like, I'm going to be gone for God knows how long. So you can watch your. I miss all my favorite TV shows, right? So when I finally got a TV, dude, it was the biggest relief. Because then, like, Wednesday night at 9 o'clock, I'm kicked back. I'm just watching Chicago PD.

I had so many shows that I was watching, like, criminal minds. I was watching all these different shows, really, before I went to prison. I just stopped watching all them because it's hard to be on a schedule when you're in federal prison. Everyone has their own different types of TV hours. There's, you know, reality TV on this one. There's love after lockup on this. one there's all these different things sports on another one so you kind of can't just go in as

the new guy and say hey i want to watch criminal minds you know every wednesday at seven so that was like one of those things that i missed and when i got out you know i started catching up on i'm still catching up on these shows from years ago um but that's interesting you know it's good you got a tv and got that experience but in the in the mean that was at my final destination before i was ultimately released on parole or to a halfway house um but it was it was it was it was was interesting to see in the dorm setting there's one TV right and everyone gathers to watch that television probably like you or like your area and um at 11 a.m the price is right is on and i'm saying why don't we all just watch the price is right right but these people want to watch like wendy williams

or i think at that point tia and tamara had a talk show or something like that they love the court shows too the doctor phil and then the other one that's filmed in connecticut uh right judge judy no or the the Mari show. Mori, right. They love that show too. So this is what I was trying to say. Like, why are we watching this garbage TV when we could watch the prices right, you know? But it's really interesting to see, like, what this group of what should, like, are probably

considered, like, violent males want to watch. In the middle of the day, they want to see Tia and Samara on a talk show rather than Drew Carey crack some jokes, you know? Everyone that goes to prison has that, you know, moment that it hits them where they get to reflect on everything that they did to bring them to that moment. No matter how much time you got all these people, individuals, women, men, whatever, have this moment. When was that moment for you and what did you reflect on? All right. So my second night in county, I'm a big believer in fate. And I think that this was one of the moments that made that decision that I would believe in

fate. Because there's no way that this is coincidental. But I hopped into the first cell. It was my second night after that Spanish kid got taken. out and I got a new bunkey. And I'm looking through like books that someone had left over. And as a bookmark in one of the books, there was this story. I don't remember the name, but it was a, it was like mythology. And there was a story about this king that believed that he was such a strong, he had so much influence over his country. He said, I'm so powerful that I can control even the tide. And he put his, he posted his throne at the edge of the beach and he commanded the tide not come in. And the tide eventually came in and he didn't move and it drowned him. So,

and that was the end of his reign as king. So me reading that at that time had so much symbolism because I was thinking like, wow, my whole life, I've been trying to control all of these situations and manipulate these people and do whatever I wanted. And I think I have this grand plan and then I end up here. And that's when I knew like I got to make a change. And that's why I say like I was so calm when I was in there

because like I was trying really, really hard not to get angry or aggressive with anybody because I'm not trying to start anything. And then right when I spoke with this older gentleman that told me he had been in for a while, he was coming down. And he said, like, don't worry about the full 18. You're going to get off on transitional parole. First time, nonviolent, you only do 33%. So he was right. And I just kept pressing the court, or I'm sorry, the counselors who are not. really counselors, by the way. They're just COs with a title that know nothing about counseling or court programs. And I just kept pressing them until they actually got the paperwork in

and helped me go through the process. How much time do you do on this 18-month sentence? Six months. And what's that first day of prison or out-of-prison like for you? First day, I remember when I pulled up to the halfway house, they had a yard with like a whole bunch of gym equipment and a basketball hoop. And what I didn't know is that the halfway house has like four beds dedicated to regular people and eight beds dedicated to pedophiles. So it was or people with like sexual charges. I shouldn't say just pedophiles, sexual charges. So luckily me and the two guys in my room were normal. And I met this older guy Jeff and me and him walked in the backyard and I remember like it was the first time I saw like a view right because I went to middle town

for the halfway um in middle town has a higher elevation so like you can see like into the mountains and like the beautiful clouds in the sky and then the other place uh it was up north in Connecticut so there's not really any of that you look up you see a blue sky it's not like a beautiful scenery it's just farmland surrounding right and I remember I looked at the sky and I was just like in shock like damn bro I'm finally here and Because I make light and I make a lot of jokes about it and I have a billion funny stories that I could probably tell. But it was like there was a lot of time in there that I was depressed. And it was just like me laying under my blanket and just like, fuck this.

I cannot believe I'm here another day. I wake up. I have to use the bathroom in the morning. I got to wait for the CEO to make her rounds to ask permission. Like how did I get myself in this situation? I can't even go to the bathroom without asking. I want to keep my TV on past 9 o'clock. Can't do it.

Just simple stuff like that that the liberties that we have now that are just taken away. And then you get out and you hit the halfway house and it's like you have some of it back. But what was most difficult in the halfway house is that I come out with this like aggressive mentality, just not acting aggressive. And then you're around a whole bunch of people that had been there for a minute. And it's a certain population, so I'm already on, like, short fuse. And I had been locked up for so long that, like, I just wanted freedom. So now I'm just, like, intolerant of everybody. And getting myself to a point where I wasn't, like, angry with the world anymore was very, or angry with myself was very difficult because I was there for such a short period of time.

I could not imagine. How institutionalized you become after 10 years or four years or even two years, right? I was there for six months I felt institutionalized. The way that I folded my laundry, the way that I stacked everything in my locker, the six bags of coffee that I took with me from prison to a halfway house just because I love the coffee more than regular, right? Like, um. When you got out of prison, was there ever any thoughts about getting back into dealing drugs or doing drugs? Never.

Never. Not at all. Even being exposed to it, it never. even. For a while, I stayed away from people that drank. And I never went around anyone that did blow. Now, if I'm around someone that drinks, it doesn't bother me. It's been so long, right? It's just kind of second nature to not do it. And I think that that's 80% of what helped me, like, change my entire life. For about seven months, I had no job. I had no job. I had no direction and I was super depressed. Part of TPs stipulation is that you need to have someone that's

willing to sponsor you to be on parole and live with them. And at that point, that girl that I had been dating before prison. Did she stick with you through the prison sentence? She did, in some capacity at least. So she let me live with her. And we were living together and everything was cool, but I was super depressed and I was just like not fun to be around. So eventually that ended. but in the meantime, I was able to serve the rest of my parole, or at least TP. And she took care of me for like the whole time. But toward the end of that, I had just been so fed up. So like I had a business name in mind.

Like I had a marketing plan that I created one or a business plan that I created when I was in prison. And then I just started to put it all together and actually started to make moves so that I can start the job. because if I had part of what got me depressed on the outside was that like I have all of this potential all these all of this capability but if I contact a recruiting agency they don't want to touch me if you're a felony right the felony is an all automatic disqualifier do you think that's the biggest struggle you faced as someone that's getting out with felonies I think that the two biggest struggles one being the felon the felon tag that just disqualifies you from most And then the second is mental health, right?

Because similar to when I first got arrested, I thought everyone had seen my article. When I got out, I was assuming that every employer had seen my article. And when I started a business, now I'm getting into these networking events. And I remember I called one of my friends that had been in prison years ago. And I said, like, listen, and he also had a business. And I said, like, listen, I'm going to this event. They want me to present next week. Do you think I should start by telling them that I had been arrested?

He was like, absolutely do not. start with that, right? But like, that's how I was trying to present myself at first. Like, oh, my name is Brian. I had such a complex that, like, people would just be judging me and automatically exclude me from any event or collaboration or employment opportunity, anything, just because I had this tag. But what I really didn't know is that, like, if I continued to work on myself, time would pass and the complex would be less because the complex is what made me so insecure, ultimately reinforcing all of the negative interactions with these people. How do you go from former drug addict, former inmate, labeled as a felon

when you get out of prison to becoming a successful business owner? It was a lot of work. It was a lot of time. There were a lot of mistakes. So I was, I was a lot of, there were a lot of mistakes. So I went into business with somewhat of a plan. How long ago after prison was that? I started the business late 2017. And that's how long after? Maybe three months. Three months after.

I started the business three months after I had been released from the halfway house, right? Maybe four. But I started because I already had a business plan. I took the steps to find out like how do I register with the state of Connecticut? Once I register with them, how do I register with the IRS? How do I keep track of this accounting? I'm no accountant, right? But maybe I can keep track of it in like a spreadsheet.

But I've met people that have come out of being locked up and they have no idea of how to even open a word document, right? So imagine me being in the corporate position that I was in before. So I had a lot of familiarity, minus all of those technical abilities and minus any idea of what the Connecticut Secretary of State website is, right? Like, I would have been in a much, much worse position. But because I had that capability, I was able to put all these pieces together

and at least start something that would eventually, even though I struggled for like two or three years, to really build a brand, something that would eventually grow into something much larger than I thought it would be. Did you ever want to quit while you were doing it? Go work a normal job? All the time.

Until I got a taste of freedom. What kept you going? honestly the only thing that kept me going for a couple of years was the fact that I couldn't get another job people would say listen I got turned down for a job roofing just a general laborer because you were a felon because I was a felon

just a general laborer I'm sure there are plenty of people that do roofing or general labor that are felons that's great I'm sure that part of the reason that I was turned down is because I've got limited to no construction experience but that was very discouraging right so it was at that point either like I just continue to not work or I just try to put in the time to make this grow and luckily I had that girlfriend at the time that was like helping pay that like she was paying the bills so you could focus on your dream right and then it finally took off and now here you are right that's awesome man right thank you now what would

you say to someone that was the younger you that's either maybe getting out of high school or even maybe it's just an adult or a middle-aged adult and is selling drugs or wants to get into selling drugs and is a part of that lifestyle what would you say to them what's your advice after everything you've been through where you're at now what are you telling these individuals if i had to pass on some of my experience to someone who has the interest in getting into the lifestyle of drugs or crime or just overall a bad scene, I would probably just say, on a high level, don't do it. But what I would tell them is because not only does it put you in the position to become worse, but it doesn't only put you in the position to be what I would consider

had I continued down that path failure. But it puts you in the position to treat people poorly to find yourself isolated, no job. I think the negatives, there are far more negatives than positives in the situation. I don't believe that there's any real benefit to it. If you watch any crime movie, the Kingpin never gets away, right? Scarface? He's idolized, but he's idolized, but he's ultimately dead. Yeah, or he's in prison.

Right. I've not watched one movie where it's been a happy ending for the person that's doing that. And I don't think that that's based off of, I'm sure that there are some people that are sitting in their house right now, counting money and maybe have never been arrested or will never be. But it's not very frequent. And it's just you're not setting yourself up for success in that situation. I don't think many people realize how relatable just, like, like an individual, like your story is relatable to them. There's so many people that are, you know, selling drugs or using and abusing alcohol or drugs or whatever it is that they're doing or even gambling.

And they're thinking to themselves, well, you know, this is all I can be. This is all I'm good for. And they keep going down that path and they keep associating with individuals that are enabling that. And then you look at a story like yours where you were in that exact position and you were able to you know, hit the lowest point of your life. You're in prison for being an addict and selling drugs. And now here you are as a successful entrepreneur. I think that gives people some hope in that mindset

that they can go through a shitty situation and come out on top of it. I hope so too. I hope so too. And I appreciate the consideration. With the right attitude, what I've found is that with the right attitude and by doing your research and being persistent, we can all make something of ourselves, right? You just have to have the right ideas.

And if you're not the most mathematically inclined, then don't go for math or learn math, right? Like there's a way to get around nearly anything. And that's part of that level of ingenuity kind of came from when I was a child, always trying to get out of trouble or something like that. But it's transitioned and I've learned how to sculpt it into something that's a huge asset for me now.

And I think that that's something that anyone can really do with the right mindset. Absolutely, man. Well, I thank you for coming on. To our viewers, thank you who are listening, watching. Thank you for tuning into Lockton with Ian Bick. Make sure you subscribe, follow us, and we'll see you on next week's episode.