Locked In with Ian Bick - I STABBED My Parents | Jacob Rebb

Episode Date: April 27, 2023

Addicted to drugs and struggling with mental health issues at a young age, Jacob Rebb finds himself committing an unexpected act of violence against his parents that would change his family's life forever. Listen to Jacob's story unfold and find out how he was able to make it through this traumatic experience. Connect with Jacob Rebb: https://twitter.com/PickManagement?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Eauthor Connect with Ian Bick: https://www.ianbick.com/Subscribe to our membership program on YouTube to get early access to interviews, see behind the scenes photos & more:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRvVklIft6DMelVW18M0oBw/joinPowered by Q29 Productions, LLC Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Locked in with Ian Bick. On today's episode, I interviewed Jacob Reb, who spent nearly a decade in a Connecticut State prison after violently assaulting his parents. Make sure you guys like, comment, subscribe, and share. And if you're listening to this on our audio streaming platforms, leave us a review. Thank you guys for watching. Locked in with Ian Bick. We all make mistakes, experience failure, and fall down in life.

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you first reached out to me and you know, you gave me like a brief summary of your story and you're very like open and honest and straight to the point, which you don't necessarily get from someone that has as crazy as a story as you. Sure. So that definitely like shows like the growth aspect and like that, you know, just like the change on that part. And so, you know, I jumped into looking into your story and I'm like, wow, we got to get this guy on the podcast. So again, thank you for coming out. And I like to jump in at the beginning of one story. I think that's very interesting to find out where they came from and see how it progresses over time and makes you the person you are today. So what's your childhood like growing up? How are you

raised? What kind of family do you come from? And where are you from? Sure. So I grew up in Newtown, Connecticut, Sandy Hook specifically. I'm, you know, you sure you've heard of Sandy Hook for all like the wrong reasons nowadays. But yeah, that's where I'm from. I come from a pretty, you know, conservative Jewish household. My parents, you know, brought me to synagogue and I was bar mitzvahed and all that kind of stuff. And, you know, I had a really pretty good upbringing where I was pretty privileged and, you know, I wanted for nothing. I went to Newtown High and, you know, yeah, that's kind of where it all started. Did you have siblings too? Yeah, I have an older sister. Her name's Heather. She's about five years older. Okay. And how's middle school and high school growing up

for you. Are you bullied? What type of environment is it? Oh man, school was hell for me. It really was. It was the weird thing about where I come from like in Newtown, like I had very few friends in my own school, but like anywhere else that went and I had like all my friends were from like the next town over. So, um, honestly, I got picked on a lot in middle school. And, um, that probably led to me like starting smoking pot early in life and whatnot and getting into that kind of stuff. Um, but yeah, it was really. rough and it wasn't until I got into high school and kind of stopped Karen so much that, you know, like the bullying kind of stopped and people kind of left me to be, you know what I mean?

Now, when you say picked on, like, what are these kids doing? Because kids can be very cruel, especially at that age. So what are they doing to you? Oh, sure. I mean, you know, call me, you know, faggot and that kind of stuff, you know, name calling, maybe trying to fight me. But, you know, I got to a point in my life where I really just, I would, I would just like bang out with you and people usually don't want to fight somebody that's really going to fight back. So when that started happening, that's kind of when I got left alone. Now, did you feel like you were doing that because you were like giving up on life in a way or you were just doing that because like that's the underdog story and like karate kid where you have

to fight back to. Yeah, fuck that. It's bullshit. You're like, I'm not going to let someone, you know, step on my life and like make my life shit. I'm not about that. and, you know, when I started really, you know, I think it was more so caring about myself and growing up that I realized that, you know, bullying is kind of like a bullshit. So, yeah, when I stopped being okay with that.

But at the time, you know, I started hanging out with older kids from like the next town over, like I had said. A lot of my friends played music. I played music. So I was kind of in that scene where a lot of my friends were older and like Friday, Saturday, Saturday nights were going to shows and that kind of thing. At this age, how's your mental health? Honestly, it probably should have been more monitored at this time. So 14, my freshman year, I failed two classes. And my parents kind of chalked it up to like, oh, like, he's getting used to high school,

getting new friends kind of thing. But really, it was because I was getting fucked with so much in school that, like, I just wasn't doing anything. I wasn't going to class. And that's kind of what it was. So freshman year, I failed to do classes. And then my sophomore year, the last day of school, I actually got into a fight with somebody. And then he told on me, he like slipped a note to security in school that I had drugs on me.

So like right before I got on the bus, security came and grabbed me. First time I'm arrested. 15 last day of school, walked out of the lobby at like 2 o'clock. Everyone's waiting for the buses. And I'm walked out on handcuffs. And that's kind of how my whole school saw me for the rest of my life. was like the kid who got arrested for having drugs on him. It wasn't just like pot. Like I had pot. I had Xanax. I had coke. I had Vicodin. Like I had a whole bunch of stuff. And I was like 15.

That's got to be extremely traumatic as like a 15 year old kid to have that image stamped on you for the rest of your high school. I mean like yeah, look at it now like it really was. I mean like kids took pictures of me in the back of the cop car. And that's when like I first got like my first probation and like first courtmanded therapy. And that's kind of like where my therapy and like mental health stuff started to develop and started to get like diagnosed was after my first arrest. So what were you, were you using those drugs yourself? Yeah, so I was stealing them from my mom. Yeah, mainly.

And they didn't notice that it was being taken at all? No, my mom was having her own issues at the time. And, you know, when I honestly, me getting arrested and her finding out that I was doing that kind of led to the openness between. her and my drug use together, which is like a really toxic situation that developed like later in life. But yeah, but I think my, me getting arrested originally is what kind of opened the door for us to be doing drugs together. And when you say together, like you guys are in a room doing like these hardcore drugs together? Yeah, like I would ask her like, hey mom, like kind of get a couple like it in or a X annex or something and she would like give them to me. And then like I got in,

when I was 16 I got in a really bad car accident with one of my friends and that kind of led to us like lying to a doctor for quite some time to get more pain meds than were necessary. And that's what directly led to my opioid addiction. And you thought that was just normal as a child like that your mother would just give you drugs? I mean, it was I mean it was awesome. You know what I mean? You know, you had more of a friend than a parent and you know, I had great parents. like don't get me wrong. I'm not here to like shit on my parents or anything like that because we're going to get

into like why that can't really be the case anymore. But, you know, it was definitely like a really rough situation to be in. I mean, I was having parties at my house. I was allowed to like have keggers and like have, you know, like that led to like me having more friends and girls and girls sleeping over. And, like, I was anywhere, it was anywhere outside of my own school, I was the man growing up because I always had, I was selling drugs, I was selling Coke, I was selling weed.

I had a car, you know, and my parents were busy. My mom would, like, work from three to midnight, we're running a restaurant, and my dad would be gone in the afternoon and come home at five, and I would be doing my own thing, you know what I mean? What's your dad saying about this? Like, is he seeing what's going on? Is he intervening at all? Or is he enabling?

What's going on? Honestly, my mom just kind of shut them down. You know, looking back at life and, you know, we've kind of openly talked about this that, you know, if my mom was, he likes to say if she wasn't there, I'd be a doctor right now. You know what I mean? So he kind of blames your mom? No, for sure. Absolutely. But they stuck together throughout everything or now?

No. So, honestly, when I. caught my case. My dad was in the hospital. My mom was in the hospital too for a couple hours and she split. She bailed. She like left while my dad was in the hospital and like hit the road and left him. Now going back to your mom, do you think she was, you know, giving you these drugs enabling you because she saw that you were picked on in school and the drugs kind of necessarily made you cool and gave you a, you know, a popular lifestyle with the parties and letting you do all that stuff because it's not normal for parents to just actively do that no no she my mom had her own demons you

know she had her own traumatic childhood bring it up in her own issues at the time and um you know her life is great now too and honestly um you know my case kind of you know led to like the destruction of my family but really from that everyone is doing so much better than i think they ever would have been beforehand uh but yeah i mean my my mom's demons kind of like poured on to me through that. I mean, I'll tell you, my senior year, I graduated high school. My dad had to go to upstate New York for, like, work for the summer, and my mom had actually watched the TV show Weeds.

If you're familiar with weeds, it's like a suburban house mom starts selling pot, and my mom got the good idea to do that. So, like, I graduated high school. I didn't go to college. I grew pot and sold. pot with my mom like for like a whole summer after I graduated school. You and your mom have like this little drug empire. Yeah. I mean that's really what it was and it was like you know we're from Newtown like the suburban you know it really was like a suburban white privilege

with zero consequences for any of my actions. I would get or I got arrested multiple times. I got so I got a DUI in high school. I got arrested for selling drugs twice in high school. I got arrested like outside of school like with weight. in weed and, you know, I would literally never get in trouble. Like, my dad would just try and ground me and I'd be in the house for like a day and then I'd be right back out. So you had all the advantages, you know, growing up in life. You had a good family and you guys were financially stable, but yet you were still, you know,

going down this down path, this bad path. Yeah, I mean, yeah, I thought I was like Mr. Cool, like drug dealer like gangster as like a 16 year old like ripping and run in and like Fairhaven and Bridgeport. And you were always getting bailed out of any issues I came up. I get arrested and like my parents would bail me out or I get a PTA or like what have you. And yeah, like I wrap my car around a tree like a quarter mile from my house and I got a DUI and like got bonded out the next day. And like nothing really happened over it. Like I lost my license for a year and like that was it.

So going back to the mental health, what exactly were you diagnosed with and at what age? So when I was a sophomore, they said I had major depressive disorder and generalized anxiety disorder. And then later in life, after my first rehab, they died in her some bipolar disorder too. And does that come from, you know, is that inherited through parents or how does that stem from? Was it from traumatic experiences, getting bullied? You know, who knows? My mom's family, they all have mental health issues. but you know I think I think some people are just born with it I mean some people just have mental

health problems and I think I was just one of those people were you open about it with your peers with family with your therapist what was the conversation never no you know you know I come from a place where you know you don't talk about your feelings and you know you're not supposed to really do that kind of thing you know my parents were like open and honest and I think they sent me therapy just for more so optics because I you know if I didn't want to go one day they wouldn't make me go and then I just stopped going and when I would stop going I would just keep getting the meds but no treatment you know what I mean so that kind of thing gets out of control when you're using you know mental health medication and opiates you know like raging at the same time it's not a good

look so you think your parents sent you to mental health treatment just out of like that was what was the requirement to do? It was literally a requirement. The court said I had to go. So I went to somebody and then when I got off probation, I stopped going. What drugs are they putting you on? Like at this point in life, I was on a low dose of Xanax when I was in high school, which was like crazy.

I was on like a quarter milligram of Xanax. Which is another thing to get addicted to? Right. And a 15 year old really shouldn't be getting that. But, you know, honestly, in my school kids have got pills all the time that they weren't supposed to get so it wasn't that big of a deal. But it wasn't until really after high school that I started getting like real psych meds. And then I was on like Seroquel and Busebar and, you know, respiratory all, some like antipsychotics and that kind of stuff. Which is a lot for an average person

to be taking. Oh yeah. I was taking like three 300 milligram syracules a day, which was like knock a normal person out. But I'm doing that and I'm doing heroin at the same time. And is that helping you? Like, do you have any mental health, you know, thoughts? Like, what's going on? Are you looking for a second opinion? I'm not doing anything with it. I am straight ripping and running in the streets at this point. I'm after high school. My parents, this was like the crash, like 2008, the financial crash. It really affected my parents pretty hard. And at this point, the doctor that I had been seeing had gotten raided by the feds so I could no longer get my prescription.

You know, that, I mean, that just shows you how targeted it was that what we were doing that the doctor I went to and Danbury literally got shut down by the feds. So after that, I'm now doing heroin and... Are you working at all? Yeah, I'm like working part-time here and there for my dad or I was working at like a nursery, like a nursery, like a farm nursery kind of place. I was a host. I was just doing like the shitty 18-year-old kid jobs.

You know what I mean? What do your parents do for work? My mom would run restaurants. She was a kitchen manager or managing partner of a number of different restaurants. And my dad was in sales. He worked for all sorts of like telecommunication companies and that kind of thing. So let's fast forward to October 2007. Sure.

You're arrested on some very serious assault charges. you're what, 21 years old at the time? So it would be 2010. 2010? Yeah. Okay. So you're 21 years old, arrested on assault charges. Yeah.

What happens that night? So it is October 25th of October 25th, 2010. I had been dating this girl that I worked with. I used to like sell Kirby vacuums and her and I. Kirby vacuum? Oh, yeah. I'm a beast at door to door sales. I'm like the man of doing that stuff.

So. Okay. Yeah, she and I used to do that and we were living together. And honestly, things aren't going well. So I went back to my parents' house because the girl I was living with was in Waterbury. My parents' house was also in Waterbury. So I went home. And the day before, everything was honestly normal.

We watched a Steelers game. We cooked out and carved pumpkins. But in my head, my anxiety and stuff is, like, raging because I'm on psych meds. I'm getting high. but now I'm starting to, I think, detox, and I think the detox is what really kind of sent me into, like, a psychosis. So you're trying to get sober at this point? No, I just didn't have, I just didn't have money to cop. I was, like, at the base of a run where I'm trying to hide my addiction still.

Because at this point, I had been, like, in and out of rehabs and, like, put together a couple clean ones here and there. And, you know, at this point, people thought I was clean, but I wasn't. So your parents thought you were on the up and up, but really you're spiraling. Right. It spiraling, like, really bad. and yeah I had taken like a bunch of my meds and the next thing I know it's like five o'clock in the morning and I'm covered in blood and I had just stabbed my parents. That's really what it was.

My dad got cut in his throat. My mom had a number of like defensive wounds and stuff like that. Luckily my dad was able to honestly knock me out and that's what stopped everything and he kind of just collapsed on top of me. And I was, I guess, passed out when the cops came. They took him out. They took me out. And like the next thing I knew, it was like good, like probably 12, 20 hours later. I woke up in a psych ward in St. Mary's Hospital in Marbury. And you don't remember any of the incident itself. So I have like memories of it. I don't know if it's something that my brain is kind of like pieced together over time, just kind of from what I know of the incident or if it's my actual

memory of it. But yeah, I mean, I figure what went on in the room. You know what I mean? Do you think that there was like resentment towards your parents or do you think it could have happened? Like if your sister was at the house or whoever was at the house, it would have happened to them that night. Anyone would have got it. I mean, I think that's really what it was. I think it would have been whoever was there and then me. I mean, that's probably what it was going to be. Is it like what people talk about having like those out of body, out of mind experiences? Do you think you went through something like that, that you were just like not yourself, not the real you because of the drug use, because of any medication you were on? Yeah, absolutely.

It definitely turned into something like that. It was a long time for me to get back to who I was as a person. So I got arrested. I was in the psych ward at the hospital for a couple days. I got arraigned. They put me in a 72-hour psych hold at New Haven County. and then I got immediately sent up to high bond high profile at McDougal. So McDougal is a level four maximum security prison in Connecticut.

And yeah, they at the time had a unit there for people. Your bond had to be over $500,000. And if you were on the news or it was like gang leaders, serial killers, cop killers, like the worst of the worst. And then me. And you're this 21-year-old. kid. Yeah, this 21-year-old kid from Newtown. You know, some of the guys that I still talk to to this day said that I went into the block and myself was the very, very last one. And at McDougall,

it's called the Green Mile because it is a half-mile strip and it looks like airplane hangers. And those are the units and they're like connector sets. They could keep building up on them if they want to. And they look like big green airplane hangers. So I'm at the very end of it and they said that I brought my cart down and when you walk into the block, I'm sure you're familiar. Everyone starts banging on the doors. Well, people are like, oh, that's him, that's him, that's him. Well, really, that was me. People had just seen me on the news because, you know, I, you know, people knew who my father

was because he was, like, kind of big in the community, did, like, blood drives and that kind of stuff. So he, my case was all over the news for a little bit. And, yeah, they said that I, like, ran to my cell and tried to pull the cart in the cell with me. but yeah, I mean, me going from a psych ward immediately to McDougal, I skipped the jail part. I went right to prison. And I think that kind of led me to being, you know, more of like a convict than a prisoner pretty immediately.

Because I had to like man up when I got there pretty fast. At what point do you realize after the incident, are you like, holy shit, I tried to kill my parents? It was probably like a good four months, I would say, before I realized, like, I wasn't going anywhere. It took you four months to realize what had actually happened. Well, my parents were kind of like on the defense for me. They understood that it was like a psychotic episode. And at the beginning, everyone thought that I should kind of like go to like a mental health facility and not prison. And that kind of fell through just because Connecticut doesn't do that.

It is really hard to do that. you would have to go to trial and plead insanity, and then it's on the defense. So it's on you to prove your insanity. It's no longer on the prosecution to prove your guilt. So we did not go that route. And, you know, I fought my case for almost three years. I was on sentence because I was trying to go home. And my family was fighting for me, but it was really the state that picked it up. And I got sentenced to 18 years, suspended after nine to serve with three years probation. So I had nine years at 85% and then three years probation after that with nine years hanging. When's the first time you speak to your parents after you tried to kill them?

My mom had like secretly got me a letter probably like a month or so afterwards. But at the time, like you couldn't get money on your books or anything like that unless somebody was on your visiting list. And you can't have someone who's on your case on your visiting list. So my dad actually had to go to court against DOC to get approved to be able to get on my visiting list so he could send me money and I could call him and that kind of stuff. So it was a good about six months. I was like on my own. Six months, no support.

No money. No money on my books. Nothing. Is your other family cutting you off too because of what you did? Oh, yeah. Nobody. I would call somebody click, click, click, click. So no friends, no family.

So what's that first conversation like then with your family? with your dad when you do see him in prison? I just said, I'm sorry. I mean, what do you say? I mean, what does he say to you? He said you love me and that I was his son and that he would always love me. And, you know, that I had issues that I needed to work on, obviously, you know, and, you know, it was, it was tough. It was tough to see him, you know, because he's got like a, my dad's got a diesel scar.

like he got like a dandered like buck 50 to his neck you know what I mean how close were they to dying from this like less than an inch less than an inch yeah it was he got he literally got cut right next to the jugular and he was still able to restrain you while with like they said like the whole bedroom was covered in blood that's insane it was like literally something out of a horror movie so you get sentenced you take this deal you get sentenced you avoid trial yeah what's that like post sentencing feel like for you in prison when you find out how much because when you're in waiting you like you never know you could be there for a day you could be there for a year you could be there for 10 years but you're finally sentenced what's going through your mind

it's time to man up you know I was still pretty young and you know my drug use started so young that you know it was scientifically you know I'm sure you know too that your brain stays kind of where you are when you start using. And I had a really young mentality. And, you know, like, some like gang stuff was after me when I was first in there. And so, you know, I had the opportunity to get put down. And, you know, luckily I said no. And, you know, I kind of, like, wrote on my own.

You're sober at this point, too? Yes. When I'm in high bond, I'm sober. But, like, during my bid, I'm, I, I, I, fucked around, you know what I mean? I was a, so because I went right up to McDougal and that's like a prison and the kind of people I was with, I learned how to bid and jail and all that stuff like right away. And you're this 21 year old white boy moving around. Right. Yeah. So once I finally was able to get like money on my books and stuff, I was, honestly, I was golden. So somebody showed me kind of like

how to be a bookie and like run tickets and stuff like that. So after I got sentenced and I got moved over. It was actually, it was pretty lucky. So I got sentenced and I stayed in the same prison. So all the COs kind of already knew me. I had had a job as a tierman in the block I worked on. So I had pretty free movement within the jail. So I was able to like start making moves. And I had a good job. And that was, you know, it allowed me to have like some real freedom in prison and really be able to like bid while I was in there. Now at your sentencing hearing, do your parents speak against you or they speak on your behalf? So I said that when they offered me the deal and I said I would take it that I wanted to be sentenced right then and there and I didn't want to come back to court

because if you know anything about a court trip, it is a fucking nightmare. You're up at 2 o'clock. So a court trip in Connecticut, they wake up at 2 o'clock in the morning so you can like shower or whatever and then they put you in the bullpen up to like up in like the waiting area. But you don't get picked up to like 8 o'clock in the morning and then you ride a bus all day and it's like you don't get back till midnight. It is a nightmare. And you're eating ham and cheese sandwiches. Yeah, right.

So I said, I said sentence me right then and there. My dad was always at my court dates. So, like, he said something real quick. I said something real quick. And we wrapped it up and let's move on. So I will say this, that we were told that once I did like a third of my time that I'd be able to put in for a sentence modification. And everyone was kind of on the same page with, you know, I go in there,

I do the right thing. and I stay out of trouble that my modification would get approved. The problem was about six months, maybe a year after I got sentenced, my judge was playing golf. I got stung by a beat and died. So when I put it in a sentence modification, it would have to go to a different judge and no judge was willing to give me a sentence modification

because it would overrule his ruling and he was no longer there. So I ended up doing almost my entire bid and not being able to get a sentence modification. What about your sister? relationship like with her at that point in time? Oh, I have none. I've never talked to my sister. She never said, so after the incident, after the stabbing, you've never heard from her. I talked to her one time. So my grandpa died a month after this. So while you're in prison. While I'm in prison, my dad got out of the hospital, went to go see my grandpa. When my dad got

home, my grandpa died. So yeah, that's what happened. And you talk to your sister? Yeah, real quick, she said, yeah, dad's okay. Grandpa died, click, and it's been about 13 years and I've never talked to her. What was it? Do you remember what the last conversation was like with her besides that one phone call? It was pretty cool. I mean, I had a really good relationship with my sister at this point. You know, she was about to get married and, you know, she had, you know, her fiancé and now husband.

They have three wonderful kids who I would love to meet and be able to be able to. know and you know I've really worked hard to you know turn my life around and do really awesome positive stuff and she just still does not want to hear it what was the general like consensus around town like I'm sure you heard of what they were saying on the news what articles were saying what type of outreach was out there for your dad and your mother sure so the community really reached out for my dad especially my synagogue because he wasn't able to work he wasn't able to do anything he was in like ICU for some time. They had to do real serious surgery to rebuild his neck.

So they did a big blood drive for him and they did like money donations and he got his own apartment because they had to give up the house. I guess the house that we were that they had rented was like ruined from the bedroom being covered in blood, which I guess my sister had to clean up and I think she holds that against me. So yeah, my dad was on his own because like I said, my mom bailed. He was in the hospital still and she hit the road. And they got a divorce and they've been apart since.

Do you think regardless of that incident happened or not, they were going to get a divorce? They should have. Their life was not very happy. I mean, honestly, I still take a lot of blame for that. I think my drug use and, you know, kind of tearing apart my family through that led to a lot of their issues. And I think my dad was really resentful to my mom about what she did while I was younger. like hook giving me pills and that kind of thing because it's also not just on you i mean you're a kid getting pills by the mother yeah so it's not it doesn't just fall on you on that aspect and there should

have been more you know treatment for you or mental health you know treatment and it's not it's not really like a talked about thing they were kind of just like shoving it out of the way for you well i mean it was a different time back then i mean it really was the difference between um you know 2023 and 2010 be with you know drug addiction and treatment so boxin was a new drug just coming out um people weren't really sure how to treat it. And like I said, you know, coming from Newtown being like a suburban wipeaway, just going in and out of rehab, that's just kind of what was happening to a lot of people back then. And it was just, it was more ignored than it should have been.

So let's turn to your prison sentence. Sure. We hear a lot about what happens to inmates that harm children that are in prison. We don't ever hear about what happens to an inmate that try. that's a child himself that tries to harm their parents. Sure. What is that like for you? Are you bullied?

Are you picked on? Are you having a hard time? Are they idolizing your case? Do they not like you for it? What are the dynamics? Sure. So some people thought my case was pretty crazy. So they looked at me like a monster kind of thing.

Like I was a real crazy psycho kind of guy. Some people tried to. like roll up on me and extort me and whatnot. But like I said, at a young age, like in high school, I would learn to not be about that. So I'm one that I will, you know, if you're going to try and do something to me, I'm going to all bang out with you right away. And I'll just end it right then and there because, you know, unfortunately, what you see on TV sometimes and that kind of stuff is true. Like you need to hit the biggest guy sometimes and make a statement because, you know, you'll get left alone. But as more information came out, so, you know, a lot of times people didn't know what my

case was and then they would find out and it would kind of like blow their mind a little bit. And it still does today. You know, lots of people don't know what my case is or the law. I was in trouble and then find out and just, you know, the kind of person I am now, you know, talking to me, you would probably never think that I would be capable of doing something like that. Are you still actively on medication too in prison? Is it easy access? Okay. Yeah, so describe that process of like how you get the medication and whatnot in prison. Sure. So they actually took care of my medication and mental health pretty well while I was in there.

I saw somebody at least once a month. They tried me on a couple different medications. Some of them were really bad. Like they put me on some medication called Respiratol and it made me gain like 100 pounds when I was in there. Like the first like eight months, I went from like 170 to 260 and like stretch marks, huge fat, mass. Like it was bad

And all I was doing was eating ramen and depression and all that kind of stuff So all I did was eat and sit on my bunk all day and just put on crazy weight It wasn't really until I got sentenced and realized that like this is gonna be my life I need to like make this positive That you know my medication had gotten changed because of my complaints about what it was doing to me You know like weight wise and they put me on something that I still take today and I still take today and It's a really good medication. It really keeps me pretty mellow.

It's a mood stabilizer. And yeah, it keeps me pretty level. Now, you're saying that they only had someone like see you or sit down with you once a month. That doesn't seem like a lot for someone that just, you know, went through this like psychotic break episode type of event. It seems like the prison didn't necessarily try to give you more needs in that way. No, honestly, I still feel like I should have been in a mental health facility. The prison did not provide the kind of mental health that, you know, someone who, you know, did what I did, would try to, you know, would need, you know, you know what I mean?

It was a lack of care. They should have seen me more, but compared to other people, I was seen more than anyone. So it was the best I could get. Which is pretty sad, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. How long to take you to develop a routine in prison? And get, like, acclimated, adjusted. Sure.

I really wasn't until I started getting, like, some of my own money that I was able to do some stuff. So I had a pretty good sellie when I first got locked up. It was a Spanish kid from Hartford, and he looked out for me. He let me, like, watch his TV, and he would, like, feed me sometimes. And he introduced me to the counselor who got me at, like, a job so I could make my little, like, dollar or 50 a day. And then once I kind of got some of my own stuff, and I was able to start making some moves.

But really it wasn't until I got sentenced that I said, you know, it's time to buckle down. You know, I want to be in shape. I want to go to school. I want to do everything that I can because you got to remember at this time at the beginning of my sentence, I thought I was going to be getting a modification. So I was going to be out.

I'd already done almost three years of my time. I figured I'm only doing a couple more years and then I'm going to get out because of my modification. And so I was signing up for, you know, correspondence courses for school. And I ended up getting my personal trainer certification. I got some credits through courses. I did like all that kind of stuff while I was locked up. And then towards the end of my sentence, I actually was in the governor's unit at Sybolski in Connecticut,

which is a special unit that you have to apply to be in. They have people that go leave the prison and go like an actual college every day. They have computers and all sorts of different stuff that normal prisoners can't get, but it's a much more rigid, strict environment, but it's to prepare you to go home. So I try to take any advantage that I could get while I was in there. But while I was doing that, you know, I was still hustling and bidding while I was doing that. What was the food like in a Connecticut state prison? Trash.

You know what I mean? Normal prison food, some of it's edible, some of it's not. You have like a favorite meal? I like the meatloaf. The meatlo. Mealough sandwich is like that. Honestly, the best thing you can ever get is the cold cut sandwiches, because you can always rely on a cold cut sandwich is like it's not going to be messed with.

I learned to appreciate the cold cut sandwich in prison. Yeah, so I'll still eat a bologna sandwich on white bread at home sometimes or like make some ramen and wrap when I'm feeling down. I had ramen for the first time since prison in January. I made like a TikTok video of it. Oh, really? Yeah, it's a good basic ramen, you know? like it brings back a lot of memories. Well, I, you know, I see the, the commissary cookoff that you have,

and I told my wife, I said, I got to get on it because I will destroy that commissary cookoff. I can make anything out of commissary. Well, definitely got to have you on the show. Sure. Prison hustle. What do you start getting into while you're in prison to kind of like pass a time? I was a bookie. I learned that pretty quick. What are the ins and outs of being a bookie in prison? Sure. So in Connecticut prisons, it's kind of standard knowledge that the way it's ran is football tickets will be all the games. There's no half spreads and it's a pick four. So anything is always a pick four. So it's a pick four, pace 10, a pick five, pace 15, a pick six, pace 20. So you're trying to hit a parlay. It's basically parley tickets that you hand out to everybody. And they come, drop off soups, food, whatever. And if they hit, then they, you know, you win 10 times, 15 times, 20 times your money back. But, you know, it's really hard to hit a 14 parlay. And honestly, coming home and learning sports betting as a real profession,

it's so crazy how it's run in there. But it's really a standard procedure across all Connecticut State prisons. Like you will not have somebody being like an actual bookie, bookie. I did. I would take a bet from anyone. But I ended up like starting to talk to CEOs about gambling. in and, you know, I was pretty sharp. And the skills I learned in there directly translated to what I do now professionally.

Were you making money in there off of this? Oh, yeah. How much you're making? I had sales. I was renting cells from people because I had so much food. So what I would do is like if I had like $300 in food, I would say send me $150 on my books. I'd give you that and I'd keep the cash. And then I would use the cash for whatever.

You know, there was a point I was, you know, I would get high here and there on suboxin and you know that was the main thing in prison just because it's easy and it's the littlest piece will get you high but it was never enough to like catch a habit or anything in there um but yeah i mean i partied you know and no one's fucking with you that you're this kid running this like business in prison giving you a hard time well my case kind of protected me a little bit because they knew not to because people thought i was like crazy like yeah if this kid stabbed his fucking parents what's he going to do to you you know and i've actually said that to somebody so you know you You know, I was aware of my situation and, yeah, I use it to my advantage sometimes.

Yeah, it's interesting because me and you went in at the same age but have very different experiences. Like they would try me because I'm just like this white collar, you know, kid in there that probably looked exactly like you did when you first went in. Yeah, absolutely. We look pretty similar. Yeah. So that's funny that you had a different experience. Do you have like a prison nickname at all? they used to call me just the Jew

the G because I swear to God that's how they referred to like all Jewish people in prison and I would honestly I'd be like walking down the tier with the rabbi and someone would be like trying to put in a ticket with me and be like hey Jew hey Jew and I'd be walking with my rabbi down the tier and it's just on that note

did you get special privileges for being Jewish in prison because in the feds you know being Jewish in prison equates to power They have a lot of connections. So what kind of things were you able to get, you know, done or pulled off because you were Jewish and had those rabbi connections? So I was only able to be at certain facilities. So I knew if I got in trouble that if I got shipped out, they would have to bring me right back. So I was always at a good prison.

So I would never have to worry about being at like one of the really old ones with no AC or like those kind of ones. I always was able to be at some of the better prisons. but it wasn't until an Orthodox Jewish guy got into the prison system that he used his connections to really revamp the Jewish prison system. And then we got some better treatment, but they really, there isn't much to do as a, like, the lonely Jew in Connecticut prison. I was like, there was nobody else fighting for it. So they could really brush me off.

How much time do you end up doing and when do you get out? I did almost like seven and a half years of something like that. So what I got out? 2006, 2007, early 2007. And how old are you? Like 27, 28, something like that? 2017. 2017, sorry.

What was life like for you when you get out? I mean, you miss like some of the best years of your life, that 21 to 28 age group. How hard was it to adjust? Well, when I got into the halfway house, I'll say this. Right before I got out, I was in the governor's unit in Sibolski. So when you're in that, you're kind of supposed to get special treatment and be able to get placed in halfway houses earlier because you're doing these extra programs and you're showing that you're ready to go home. And they were really like shitting on me and not letting me do this. So my dad knew somebody that used to be at central office for DOC, who was like a real high up for the commissioner there.

and my dad got a meeting with the deputy commissioner for DOC who ended up coming down to the prison to see me to talk to me about what was going on because I wasn't able to get in the college program. They weren't letting me get outside clearance. And I knew they were denying me all this stuff because really it was because of my case. They said it was because of like health reasons and like I have a bad back or whatever. But it wasn't. It was because of my case, they didn't let me do anything. So this deputy commissioner comes down to the prison.

They call me to the warden's office. I talked to them. Two weeks later, I'm out. I'm at a halfway house in Hartford. And I had it suite there. So everything was set up for me. So when I got home, I went right to the halfway house. And the next day, I was already at a job.

I was working for the program that I was at in Zybolski. There's a Second Chance Alliance. It's a college program that comes into prisons and runs classes. The lady that runs at gave me a job as an office administrator for her. So I had to job right away when I came home. And I was already signing for classes at a community college. So the next day, I was out. So I went from going to prison at 21, and now I'm out in the world. Now there's iPhones and wireless stuff. And I'm kind of freaking out the first couple of days, like straight panic attack. I don't know how to use anything. It was rough coming

home originally like just the tension of being out. It was a lot. It's a lot to handle. Are you still actively seeing like a therapist or anything at this point? Yeah. So when I was in a halfway house, they said I had to. But like it was weird. So full disclosure, I was. So I got put on a marijuana card when I was in the halfway house. The half house I was originally at was a half federal house and half state house. That's how I was when I was Sure. So because I was on a medical marijuana card at a Fed house, they had to move me because it's federally legal and they contract issues or whatever. So they move me and I get to the next halfway house and I get a phone call and it is somebody from the other halfway house and it was one of the

counselors who I ended up having like kind of like a long term affair with one of the counselors from the original halfway house that was at while I was at the other halfway house. So because of that, I had like really sweet that I could pretty much do anything I wanted because she had my back. And that's so not like the average person that goes to the halfway house because the halfway house is the worst experience ever for a lot of individuals. It really is. You're definitely very lucky you got a good experience. I didn't get drug tested. I didn't get I got passes to go to the movies with my parents. My dad could come like pick me up and take me up and take me out. But that's a dangerous slope too. That could have been setting you up for failure if you

were getting back into drugs and everything like that. I got a marijuana card. Like this is like the week I was out after prison. I found that I could get a card. I got a card and I was on it like that. And no one's you know, red flags aren't being raised. Hey, this kid had a, you know, a psychotic break from drugs. You know, we need to make sure he's not following this path. There really, it was really, it's been on me to make sure I keep my shit together. That's a lot of pressure to, to be on someone to go through what you did and then get out and have that. That's got to be pretty terrifying. I mean, it has been.

Honestly, I still deal with like some issues now, like, memory issues of like what happened. Like in the time period, I came home. I think it was just like so much sensory overload that, like, there's like blocks of time like I have like missing from like living in Hartford and stuff that I just don't remember. Because, you know, so the thing with the council. ended because I met my now wife, who is a much better choice than having an affair with a counselor from a halfway house. And now I'm getting out of the halfway house and like getting my life together. And I'm like I have an apartment in Hartford. And I was like in and out of the

halfway house because I was going to school. I had a job. And I never failed drug tests. So I was out pretty fast. So you never went back to live with your family or anything like that? What's your relationship like with now your parents? And I know you said your sister's not existent. So with your parents at this point after you get out of the halfway house. It's great. I see my dad all the time. We've really worked out of a relationship.

And I would say, you know, we're probably closer now than we ever have been before. Honestly, my family was in such a toxic environment, you know, all around the board. My dad had a really shitty job at the time. So did my mom. My sister was kind of MIA from our family. And I think the incident really just shattered everything and let everyone rebuild their lives how they saw fit. And my mom actually is now remarried to her first husband. She got married when she was 18 right out of high school.

And she's now remarried to this guy. His name's David. He's a really great guy. He's been married for a long time now. And my dad is remarried to a nice lady. He met online. and everyone's life's great. I mean, it's our darkest times that, you know, often bring us to the brightest light like that,

you know, the light at the end of the tunnel and bring us to a place that we've never knew existed without experiencing those dark times. Did you ever get to have like a serious one-on-one with your parents or both of them in the room together to like sincerely apologize and just talk about the whole incident? Yeah. And what was that like? well you know my my dad and I kind of had it when I was still in prison and you know what is there to say I mean it is just I'm sorry I mean that's all you can say I mean I don't think the gravity of the

situation can really weigh on people sometimes and to understand what it's like to really like almost take the life for your parents it is really hard to understand end and it's still really hard for me to deal with sometimes and uh it because i haven't you know i wasn't properly maybe managed throughout my prison sentence and maybe i develop things in the wrong way and some you know inappropriate you know coping mechanisms and things that i should rely on that i that i don't that i shouldn't be relying on um but yeah i mean doing what i did is like a really heavy dark cloud to carry around. Do you think that the support that your parents have shown you throughout everything is the

definition of unconditional love? Yeah. My parents, you know, we have our issues now as a family, but they're like regular issues. We're more so back to a normal family. But my parents never gave up on me. And because of that, I owe everything. And that's why I, you know, each day get up. try to do the right thing and try to be successful in life and make them proud.

What about the job aspect of this? Was it hard to find a job given your circumstances? I know you had the job lined up for you, but after that, what kind of challenges have you faced with someone that has serious felony charges on your record? Are they looking at you differently? Are you being treated differently? Are they not hiring you based on those charges? Sure. So when I was in the halfway house, I worked part-time at the community college, just as like a student worker. So I worked there three days a week. And then I worked at Panera Bread a couple days a week. So they don't really care if you're an ex-con, like a sandwich shop. You know what I mean? I was surprised at school would hire you, no problem. Yeah, they were actually, the school was really supportive. I worked in disability services because I used disability services. So they knew my case and my situation.

And they knew that before I came home because I was signing up for school while I was still incarcerated. So they kind of knew my situation. And they were really great helping me kind of adjust to school life when I first came home. So I was doing that and I worked at Panera Bread. And then when I got out of the halfway house, I started working for my father. My dad was the largest subcontractor for Comcast in the nation, and they did the door-to-door Comcast sales. So I started doing that, and I was killing it.

I could go to a neighborhood and flip a whole neighborhood in Xfinity, knock on their door, hit you with the pitch, and, you know, turn to you in a second. The problem was I was doing too good, and, like, their central office saw my name on all these sales, and they actually looked me up and saw. I had a felony, contacted my dad, told my dad he had to fire me because he didn't disclose that I was a felon and then canceled his entire contract because he did not disclose that I was a felon. So because of me, my dad lost his contract with Contcast. Oh, wow. So I mean, how'd that make you feel? Terrible. I mean, it took the rug out out from under my feet because now I

have no more income. You know, he'll be stable because he's got other stuff going on. But Did it affect your guy's relationship at all? I think he maybe resents me a little bit for it. I definitely think his wife resents me for it. I don't really have a great relationship with my stepmother right now. But, you know, it is what it is with that. But he was able to rebuild and now he has a really successful like solar business and whatnot and he still does that kind of thing.

But it kind of left me in the lurch of being able to, you know, offend for myself. So now I'm out. I have an apartment. I have no income. What am I going to do? So at this point, I had started like gambling online a little bit. I had started to learn about sports betting on the internet. Because that's what you did it for the previous 10 years of your life. Right. I was bookie, right? So now I'm learning how to really bet. Honestly, because I had never gambled before I went to prison. So now I'm learning how to really like bet on sports in real life. And I'm learning how to like bet on offshore sports books and whatnot. And I, I, started working with some people on social media, uh,

to build, uh, what's called like a Twitter book. Uh, so it'd be like a paperhead service. Um, and I was playing with a certain paperhead and the guy that was running it no longer wanted to. And then at the time, um, I had just wanted to be more involved, maybe do some like graphics and that kind of thing for them, uh, maybe some like affiliate work to, you know, make some extra money to bring in players for him. And a kid happened to live in Boston and I went up and met him and I ended up taking over his sportsbook and we were running a social media sports book out of my house in Hartford for like almost a good year we took him from like 50 to like 300 players and we were moving like 510k a day through like Venmo and PayPal and stuff like that.

Is this illegal or is it totally totally offshore yeah running crypto you know cash app PayPal kind a sports book for somebody and we're having a ball. And that's what I started doing. So that's how I got involved with sports betting offshore. So that sports book started to get really successful. And the owner ended up being like a real scumbag and didn't want to pay people in the end. So that kind of got shut down. But I had started to make connections with people in the industry because of our growth. And I met a real sports book that was operated offshore. And they ended up. up hiring myself and my wife to run their social media. So we started doing the same thing for them.

And then they really started to explode. And then they ended up getting bought out by a much larger sportsbook. And that kind of brings me to 2020, a couple of years after being home, I now have a job offer to move to Costa Rica to run a sports book. All expenses paid, everything, you know, top dollar, like, you know, top dollar, like, living the life down in Costa Rica, or running a sports book. All based on something you learned in prison.

All based off of what I learned in prison. And the skills that I learned from my wife and social media, she's like a beast doing that kind of thing. So we are a team and we do social media marketing and management for gambling brands all across the industry now. But we originally started doing stuff offshore. And it's 2020. We get married at the beginning of March and we got married at the courthouse.

And we had a nice, lovely little wedding and I got on a plane and left the next day. I was supposed to be gone for like a month to three months to get things started and then we were supposed to split our time between Costa Rica and the States just then we were going to be living the life. You know, it was a dream job. I had a whole team under me down there. I had a driver and, you know, taking you to the, you know, fancy restaurants and like it was really, really awesome. And then COVID hit. Literally the day of our opening was the day they canceled March Madness and then the rest of sports. So I ended up coming back to the country because we didn't know if I was going to be able to

get back into the country or what was going to happen. And the sports book ended up dying because the owners didn't believe in COVID. They had massive family loss and like a lot of people in their family died and they shut everything down. But luckily we were able to turn that into a kind of a better job for ourselves working with some marketing companies in the UK and some other stuff like that to grow our own brand and our social media capabilities within the gambling world. And now you guys have a whole business based off of that. Yep. So we do all sorts of social media marketing, graphics, creative video

for sports bettors, sports books, sports analytics places. And then I write for a couple different publications and I host a soccer gambling podcast. What I like about, you know, you and your story is that you like me and like a lot of individuals out there, you go through a really, you know, shitty experience. And even if, you know, you take that aspect out of it, you go through that and you end up in prison and you're able to find something along your journey that you could turn into a positive experience. And you have to look at it like if you had never went to prison, as awful as what happened your parents was, had you never had been to prison before, you wouldn't be where you were today having this company and building something you might not even have met

your current wife or have that that great relationship that you have with your dad now. So it's always like interesting to see, you know, what happens to the individuals that are able to find the negative factors and turn it into something positive. Well, I mean, that's what I have to do. I know I know my case is on the far end of the spectrum of craziness, but anyone like yourself who's been incarcerated or, you know, if you get arrested for any number of things, it is about turning your life into the right thing. Nobody wants to be the guy. You know, I can't tell you how many times I would be in a cell and see somebody come back that had already went home, and it would just make my fucking head want to explode because you see people like get these chances and I knew

that I had one chance and I had to make the most of it and I think I did you know what I I didn't mention this like when I was in prison like they even had uh Fox News come interview me while I was in prison because I was doing a yoga program and taking yoga classes and they wanted to talk to me about how that turned my life around and uh you know honestly yoga and meditation really did help flip my life around why not when I was in prison that was like one of the big things I was into and exercise and doing all those things. And I knew I wanted to come home with like peak physical condition, you know, looking the best I ever did, you know, ready to hit the ground running.

And to be successful, I had a lot of time to make up for. Have you had any relapses now, drug relapses at all? So I've had some concerns. I'm open and honest. I take methadone. I still do. I actually had a really bad incident. I had a really bad burn

and I had like third degree burns on my hand. I was, I'll tell you, I was roasting peeps. You know, you know, like the Easter peeps. I was roasting them.

And I had them on the skewer and it was about to fall off and the plate was come in. And I just instinctively stuck my hand out and these molten sugar peeps melted my hand. And like my skin was like totally blistered off. And I was in a lot of pain and I was starting. have some concerns and because of that I decided to go on a program so yeah that's good that you seek to help yeah it's better safe than sorry you know it is what it is not everyone has the mental capacity to do that though I have to be aware of what's going on in my life I have to be aware of how I'm feeling how I'm thinking you know because my darkness is a lot darker than most people's you got to know what

your demons are and then how to fight them. Yeah. What was it like to date with someone that had a violent criminal record? What does that like to have that on you? Like I know there are instances where like women like that bad boy image, but you know not when it comes to like say a sex offender or maybe even someone that like, you know, killed themselves or killed someone, you know, those are like red flags. So what was it like for you? Did you have similarities with that? So I was actually really pretty open and honest with the girls as me. When I came home, I had a blister on my thumb from swiping so hard when I first came home. Yeah, I went through that Tinder face too.

It was bad. But like I said, I was really having an inappropriate relationship with somebody that worked at one of the halfway houses. Who knew what your charge was? Right. And then when I left the other halfway house, there was somebody else there that kind of the same thing happened with. I don't know why these things happened to me. They just did. But my wife now, she, you know, she's a social, very big on social media and like,

we'll Google somebody in an instant and like has those services that can look up your phone number and like all that kind of stuff. So she looked me up pretty much right away. But I was open and honest with her. And her acceptance of me is really what, you know, led me to originally, you know, really love her, is that she accepted me with open arms and gave me a chance. chance. And, you know, really, honestly, she fought her family for me and, like, kind of had it destroyed her relationship with her father and sister for quite some time until they realized

that I wasn't a monster because that's what happened. Her part of her family really thought I was like a dangerous individual. Yeah, I mean, I was in a relationship, my first real relationship post-prison. And, you know, it was definitely hard to get the parents to trust me or to look at me because when you're labeled on the internet, when you have, you. have a public case, people are automatically thinking you are that person who made those mistakes still of the past. Right. And it's really, really hard to get away from that mentality.

I mean, like, I'm lucky now that I have a platform and I could put things in that direction, but had I still, like, stayed with Whole Foods or wherever I was working, had I never did, like, if I decided not to do an HBO document or whatever, and I just had those previous articles that were just controlled by what the news wanted to put out there about me, it would been very difficult. Like with dating, whatever, because it makes me look like a piece of shit. Sure. But now I'm able to control that narrative because I'm putting out, you know, I want to tell

my story. And I have a platform now that can't be taken away from by like the news media in that sense. Like if they posted an article saying Ian Bick was a scam or whatever, I now have a platform to rebuttal that with. and not a lot of people have that ability to do that, which is why I think it's important to have the show, have individuals like you come on and share your stories so people can look at your not the mistakes of your past,

and there's a redemption aspect to it. It's just, it's super important. What's your plan to make peace with your sister? Do you think that can ever be found? I always say I just want to show up at her house one day. you know, I'm not a probation or anything anymore. So if you want to call a cops to me at this point for showing up your house, they're just going to tell me to leave.

So I'm not really worried about that. But I respect my parents' wishes and they ask me not to. I ask my parents to pass along the messages that, you know, I love her very much. And like, look at all the cool, successful stuff I'm doing. You know, I'm really lucky that right now I work for a company that, you know, really supports what I do and really supports, you know, my success and my growth. I had a really bad experience recently with the company that was really excited about making me their social media manager and as I was reading my contract They deleted the contract the website page. It like disappeared as I was reading it and then I got an email that said oh we no longer decided to go with you because I'm assuming they googled me in that time period

And canceled my contract and really really I mean that kind of stuff hurts and it does you know I put a lot of work and effort into being good at what I do. And what I did almost 13 years ago now has nothing to do with me running social media for a sports betting entity. And I'm sure, you know, every former inmate can relate to you in that sense. Because it's there, you know, especially when you have a case that was high profile and was in the public eye on that level. And it sucks, man. It really does. And, you know, when those things happen, you just got to, you got to stay hopeful, you know, you don't want to get off like the beaten bush with that. If I did that every time, I'd be, you know, going backwards because that happens a lot. Bad shit happens every day and people are going to judge you. But, you know,

you just got to keep doing your thing and keep pushing forward. What would be your message to someone that's in your shoes, someone that was like struggling or is struggling with their mental health in high school right now or someone that goes through a crazy situation that the average person wouldn't be able to find redemption within. What's your message to that person? You've got to reach out. You got to find some sort of outlet to let somebody know what is going on with you. You know, like I said before, like I said, like my, my darkness is darker than most, you know, I have learned, you know, honestly, just recently that it's better to just be open and honest about how you're feeling because it's okay to ask for help and it's taken me a long

time to learn that you know being in prison really made me kind of swallow a lot of my emotion because you don't want to show that in there you want to be solid and you know you want to be you know tough and you know you can't be you know you know sappy and whatnot in prison you know what I mean so when you come home and you need to be able to sometimes it's okay to not feel okay sometimes. But when you feel like that, you need to talk to people. Absolutely. Jacob, thank you for coming on Locked in with Ian Bick today. It's been great talking to you. I think you have a really good message. I'm excited to, you know, share your story with the

world. And I wish you the best of luck and your future projects and everything you got going on for yourself. Thanks. This has been great. Make sure to follow me on Twitter and TikTok at pick management. If you guys are looking for sports betting advice and articles, I just did a really great final four article. You know, you could find me all over the place right now. Awesome, man. And I'm sure the audience will see you on the commissary cookoff real soon. Oh, I'm going to kill it.