Locked In with Ian Bick - I Was a Court Reporter… Then I Went to Prison | Becky Calderon

Episode Date: October 15, 2025

Becky Calderon seemed to have the perfect life — adopted into a loving family, building a stable career, and working as a respected court reporter in California. But after being diagnosed with cancer, everything started to fall apart. What began as financial struggle and desperation turned into a life-altering mistake: stealing over $400,000 from her employer. #PrisonStories #TrueCrimeInterviews #JusticeSystem #CourtReporter #RedemptionStory #BehindBars #LockedInPodcast #RealLifeStories Thank you to PRIZEPICKS for sponsoring this episode: Prizepicks: Visit https://prizepicks.onelink.me/LME0/IANBICK and use code IANBICK and get $50 in lineups when you play your first $5 lineup! Connect with Becky Calderon: Instagram: @pelipostapp TikTok: @pelipost (TikTok) Facebook: @pelipost X: @pelipostapp Website: https://www.pelipost.com/ PROMO CODE: Try out the Pelipost app and send your first order FREE with the code IANBICK. Hosted, Executive Produced & Edited By Ian Bick: https://www.instagram.com/ian_bick/?hl=en https://ianbick.com/ Shop Locked In Merch: http://www.ianbick.com/shop Timestamps: 00:00 – Introduction & Becky’s Breaking Point 00:51 – How a Court Reporter Ended Up Behind Bars 01:51 – Prison Life & Holding a Family Together From Inside 03:18 – The Photo App That Changed Her Life After Prison 06:46 – Building a Business With Purpose & Second Chances 09:28 – How Becky Sends Hope Into Correctional Facilities 10:47 – Adopted Into a Good Home & Early Childhood Memories 14:11 – Family Secrets & Finding Her Biological Parents 17:34 – Growing Up With High Expectations & Hidden Pain 21:11 – Pressure, Trauma & The Need to Be Perfect 23:54 – Facing Abuse & The Long-Term Emotional Damage 25:08 – Dreams, Coping & Fighting Through Adversity 29:19 – Career Beginnings & Becoming a Court Reporter 32:59 – Inside the Courtroom: Triumphs and Challenges 35:40 – Cancer Diagnosis & The Fight That Changed Everything 43:02 – Loss, Resilience & Life After Illness 45:01 – Crossing the Line: Stealing $400K From Her Employer 49:26 – Addiction, Gambling & The Breaking Point 53:53 – The Moment Everything Collapsed: Arrest and Shame 56:28 – Facing Prison Time & The Fallout With Family 01:00:27 – Sentencing Day & Preparing for Prison 01:03:04 – Detox, Jail Intake & First Shock of Incarceration 01:10:40 – Learning to Survive in a California Max-Security Prison 01:14:41 – A Mother’s Love: Staying Connected From Prison 01:16:04 – Eye-Opening Moments From Life Behind Bars 01:19:01 – Finding Purpose & Unexpected Hope in Prison 01:21:01 – Rehabilitation Programs & Breaking the Cycle 01:22:40 – Health Struggles & Spiritual Awakening Inside 01:25:03 – Staying Sober & Rebuilding After Release 01:29:32 – Unforgettable Prison Stories That Changed Her Perspective 01:31:01 – Compassion, Forgiveness & Helping Others 01:33:00 – Relapse, Recovery & The Journey to Healing 01:35:43 – Self-Discovery & Turning Pain Into Purpose 01:37:14 – What I’d Tell My Younger Self After Everything 01:39:42 – Final Reflections & Finding True Freedom Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Those insights help you get more sleep, starting night one. Add it to your registry or shop at NANET.com. And he said, I'm going to be honest with you. I don't see you living to see your child turned five. When you're a court reporter, did you ever picture yourself sitting in a courtroom on the other end of it? And don't you know that when they handcuffed me and took me into custody, it was in the same courtrooms I worked in? Tell us how you went from court reporter to prison. As she looks at me, she says,

So they want to give you three years? What was the most eye-opening thing for you about prison? Becky Calderon was a respected court reporter until cancer changed everything. In a moment of desperation, she stole $400,000 from her employer and ended up serving three years in a maximum security prison. This is how her life completely unraveled and how she's rebuilding it today in a very interesting way. Becky, welcome to Lockton. Thanks so much for coming today.

Thank you so much for having me. Yeah, straight from Tampa, Florida. Tampa. Originally from San Diego. Okay. I left the warm to come be in the cooler air, but you came at the perfect time of year. It's really beautiful. Yeah. It's beautiful.

I didn't expect this. I had no clue, but it's beautiful. Yeah, so at the top of this episode, I want you to tell the audience about your business because it's so fascinating and so cool, and I want you guys to plug it in there. Okay. Most definitely. Yeah, tell us all about it. Okay.

I will be as brief as possible, but when I was incarcerated, I had a hard time explaining to my son how important pictures were. When you're in there, you need to remember your life before you got in prison. And I wanted to show people. I would always brag about my son, and I wanted to show people. And I would tell Joseph, Joe, send me some pictures. He got a new car. He graduated college. happened while I was in there. And yeah, mom, yeah, mom, yeah, mom. And he kept putting it off. And it got to a

point where I would talk to him on the phone and I would say, Joe, did you send them? And then, oh, mom, you know, and he was busy starting a new job and this and that. And then I finally had to tell him, Joseph, this is so important to me. I need it right now. You know, it's not that I want pictures, it's not the same as when you're out there. When you're inside, when you're craving something, I need something from home. I need pictures. And then I said, if I call you next time and you haven't sent me pictures, I'm going to hang up on you. And he knows how serious that is to me, because I'm asking you that I'm telling you I need them. And so Joseph always, from the beginning of his little life, he's always been very different and very original.

And he's always wanted to be an entrepreneur, always. And I remember, like, it was a couple phone calls after. He's like, hey, mom, I wanted to ask you something. And I'm like, what? And he says, do you think that, you know, I was thinking that it would be so easy if I grab my phone and if I saw all the pictures that I had. have on my phone, tap them and push send. And somebody would print them and send them to you. That would make it so much easier for people to receive photos. What do you think? Do you think people?

And I said, yeah, Joe, that's a good idea, you know, and anything to make it easier for people, because I understand that when you're outside in the free world, it's time, you know, time moves, so fast you you not that you forget about a person that's in there but all of a sudden the day's gone and the day's gone and so he what i was asking him to do was develop pictures go to the post office mail the picture you know address it get an envelope mail the pictures send you know and so it was too much for his head to just say all those steps so he sent me the pictures that was it and I want to say like eight months later or nine months later, I was released. I was out.

And he, during that whole time, had spent time thinking, developing, drawing up, doing all this stuff. And when I got out, I'm going to be 100% honest with you. I had forgot that he had asked me that question. He said, hey, mom, remember what I told you? And you said, yeah, and this and that. I got this, you know, this. and I'm getting an app developed and blah. And I remember thinking to myself, what?

You know, like, now I'm out. You know, it's like, but he had done everything. He had quit his job. And he was a college graduate and had, like, working in these bank firms and all this. You know, I was all proud of that. And, you know, he had gotten his brand new Chrysler car. And I just wanted to brag. to people because you, you know, like you want to show people that you were someone before.

You know, I don't know how to, you know, so the picture I wanted, honestly, was the picture of his car because he used to brag about the Chrysler 300 that, and I'm going to forget some rapper, you know, I don't know, was his design or something. But I got the pictures and stuff, but the moral of the story is he took. the need, he heard my need, saw his struggle to get it done, and then created this app so that all those pictures, you pick them and you send, they come to us, they are uploaded, we print them, we package them, we ship them. And we knew nothing about it, understand this. Like, we knew nothing about it when he started. We just, he just knew, you know, let me do it. And he got his first order and second order.

And then, you know, Mom, I need you to help me run it. And my experience with being inside and how I saw how we could grow it, you know, and like let's have some flyers in here. Let's do this. Let's do that. You know, people need this. People want to hear this. People want to feel this.

And 10 years later. We've shipped millions of photos to across nationwide prisons, jails everywhere. We've learned I know all the rules and regulations of all the prisons. We have just done an amazing job. We've built a community, the Pally Post fam, and I believe that our success is because we have the inside. which was me. I know how important they were, the pictures and stuff and him, the business side, but we also, our customer support, we treat you, we care about you because I've lived it. So my staff is going to treat you like a special person that you are, and we're very proud.

I mean, I can't even brag enough about my son and what he developed. simply because his mom wanted pictures. That's incredible. And we'll have the link to your business in the description this episode. Thank you so much. Yeah, we have a lot of people. A lot of the listeners have someone that's incarcerated or a friend, a loved one. Yes.

So that's a great service. And time is of the essence for everybody on the outside. I know that now because I'm on the outside now. And I have friends that I'm like, oh, my God, I have to send her something. I have to do this. So now I'm on the other side. So we get it. And we're just here to try and make it easier.

I remember used to having to ask my parents to print out pictures. You had to goad. And this was back in 2016. Now the world's more evolved. Like you can literally order for, I'll order like the little wallet ones for like a bulletin board with my girlfriend in our room. And you can order it right from the phone and it ships right to your house. Yes. In a couple days.

Exactly. And see, one thing that makes it very difficult that I can brag about and I am going to brag about. And I'm going to brag is because, yes, there's free prints and all these other. big places, but we only ship to correctional facilities. That is our business. Our business is Pellipost, correctional facility delivery, which is a skill because there are rules, their guidelines. How many can you send? What type of pictures can you send? One will receive, accept this. One doesn't accept this. I have learned so much that I didn't know when a rule changes. Like, We don't want our pictures rejected.

We fail when we do that. We want them delivered because that's the ultimate. That's when we succeed is by them receiving their pictures. So, you know, we have guidelines built into the app. We have everything. It is customizable to each facility in the nation. 4,000 facilities. My son created that.

That's so cool. And your son's watching today with his wife right now. Yes, they are. I will say when I met you guys, I didn't expect you were the one out of the group that went to prison. I know, I know. Nobody expected that. That's the story of my life. But that's a cool trait to have.

That's like me. Like no one expects me in the group to have been to prison. Yeah, exactly. And, yeah. So where do you grow up? San Diego. I grew up born and raised in San Diego. Yes.

Pretty normal. You know, I was adopted. My sister and I, came from two different families. She was from Texas. I was from California. You know, that was a little rough just because when you find out, for me, always trying super hard to be good enough, worthy enough, adds a lot of pressure. But it was, you know, I had wonderful parents. My mom is still alive. She is 90 years old.

Wow. But, yeah, it was good. Did you know about your real parents at all? You know, I found out when you're 18, you're allowed to open your adoption records in the county. But what I found out was just, it wasn't really true, you know. It's like, oh, yeah, you know, she was pregnant and she couldn't have any more kids. this and that, but it wasn't the truth. It was just somebody got pregnant and couldn't keep you. I ended up finding out the real story years later, maybe about 15 years ago, when my real, biological, I should say, sister, found me on Facebook, which is, I'm going to be very very very, biological, I should say, sister, found me on Facebook, which is, I'm going to be very,

very brief because it's an interesting story. I went to get my cards read years ago when I was in the trial because I wanted to see if I was going to get locked up. You know, that was my big fear. And so I went to get my cards read by this man that everybody swore was, you know, a genius doing that. When he read my cards, he said, where are your parents from? And I immediately said, you know, my mom's from Mexico. my dad's from Texas, which are my adoptive parents, because that's how I, that is. And then he starts reading and he starts shaking his head and he's like, no, no, no. And he grabs the cards and he goes, that's not true. Your real parents.

Where are your real parents from? There was no way of this man knowing I was adopted. I had even forgot. Well, he told me a story about this lady that was pregnant with me. it was she had had an affair and the man's wife had found out about her being pregnant and had cast a spell on her pregnancy, which was me. And he said, you know, you've gone through sickness and yeah, because I have cancer and everything that's, you know, I have and I had.

And he says, it's going to continue. you have a life of battles, you know, and this and that. So when I walked out of there, you know, and I was like, all I wanted to know was, am I going to prison? You know, and fast forward to this lady getting a hold of me, and she tells me she is related to me, and I hope somebody finds me because, okay, she is related to me. she was both my sister and my cousin. The story goes, two sisters got pregnant by the same man. My biological mom had to give me up for adoption because her husband was incarcerated,

so she couldn't lie and say it was his. So there was a real ugly story there and this and that. So it does turn out. So the person that got them pregnant had a crazy wife. This is a man told me this. You know? And here my sister is verifying for me that this is her aunt, my biological. So it proved the story, which, okay. But I did meet her. I did find out the story, two sisters, pregnant from the same man. So the story isn't like Cinderella, you know. I'm glad she gave me up for adoption because I would have never been accepted because I wasn't her husband, you know, stuff like that. But it just, I no longer talk to my sister because she refused to tell me who my biological mother was. She refused to give her a letter from me saying,

thank you for what you did that was brave of you because that's how I am I'm very caring and I just wanted her to relax because she told me that every my birthday every year she would cry because she would remember and this lady wanted to be my friend I don't need friends I don't need another I don't need a sister I don't need a friend I don't need nothing I just wanted to bring peace into this woman's life that gave me up and so I said I said said if you're not ready to do that for me, I don't want you in my life. And it's been at least 10 years. And I've never, I don't even know if the lady that had me is still alive. I don't know anything. But so it was a crazy story. So you've never been able to talk to her still for this day?

Never. Never. And yeah, never. And it bugs me because just to know that, you know, it did feel good to know that she remembered. me, you know, every on my birthday, because no matter what, that's a hard, you know, you want to know why somebody gave you up. It's different. Like my sister comes to, like her, her mother was on drugs and they took the baby. That's different. I get addiction to, you know, I understand that part. But when somebody chooses to give you up, you want to know, because I did know that I had older brothers and sisters just because I peaked on the papers on the county. And it said siblings. And their name is Tony, Lurice, and Monica.

So if you guys are sisters or brothers out there, those are the three names in San Diego that were my, they are my older. So she had three children before she got pregnant with me. And that's all I know, you know. And the lady that contacted me, her name is Dianne, she confirmed Lerice, Monica, and Tony. And so I've tried doing my kind of searches, you know, but I've never really, you know, and I figured if it's supposed to happen, it will happen. It's not like a priority with everything else that's in my life. I didn't make it a priority.

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That's code Ian Bick to get $50 in lineups after your first $5 lineup. Prize picks, it's good to be right. What do your adoptive parents do for work when you're growing up? My mom was a housewife as traditional as they come. She met my dad. My dad was 30. and she was 21. She was in Tijuana, so Mexico.

And then my dad was 30. So when he saw this beautiful woman, he met her and they were married. You know, she was a traditional. You don't go to the movies. You don't kiss. You don't go to the movies alone. You have to have a chaperone. And my dad just fell in love with her class.

and she was a housewife and she wanted to be a mom. My dad worked at Weber's Bakery for probably like 40 years. He retired from there. He just packaged bread. He had a little house and when they got married, brought my mom to it. And then as they tried to have babies, it turned out that my dad was sterile. something where they grew up in Granger, Texas, you know, just so he couldn't get my mom pregnant. And so my mom said, you know, I married you. I didn't marry you because I wanted kids. I married

you. I loved you. And so when she was ready to become a mom, they looked into adoption. And that's when they made the decision. My mom made the decision that it would be two girls just because my mom wanted to stay at home and raise us and, you know, that. What were some values they taught you as a kid? Oh, my God. There were amazing values. I have amazing parents, but not but. You know, they put both my sister and I into Catholic school as right after kindergarten. I remember we would go to a Catholic school and the little dresses and how you behave as a young girl, as a young lady. Just, you know, you don't, just my mom is and was the most proper woman.

Like your hair goes a certain way. Your shoes are a certain way. you know if there's a man in the room you have to wear a bra you have to like you know just little things like that from childhood to now it was my mom was the parent like my dad was an amazing provider you know he would work come home never saw them fight in front of us love in the house, love family. It was nice. It just instills, for me, how because of my personality, it was pressure, the build up of pressure, trying to live up to my mom's expectations from such a young age. And that has a big history like in my life because it has led to so many steps because of it.

And I didn't realize it until, you know, when you go through so much therapy and stuff. But my mom and dad were beautiful. Family vacations. Everything as long as we did it their way. Like we were okay as long as everything was perfect. One thing, you know, it's like that happened that caused, I believe, a change in my life and my sister's life was at a very young age. We were sexually molested by a friend. of the family. And we couldn't tell my mom and dad because of the disappointment they would

see or, you know, we were afraid. And both my sister and I lived with that probably until probably we were like in our 40s or something. It was like we kept that secret because we were going to die with that secret. But that pressure, and it went on for years. I'm not just talking one day. It went on for years. So you forget or you don't even know who you were going to be is how I feel. And it really took me going to prison to find that out.

I mean, that's another story. What were some expectations they set on you that you were just talking about? You have to be, of course, a virgin. I mean, I would say that that was the biggest one. Being a virgin, you don't hold hands or hug or any display, you know, when you have a boyfriend. Your curfew was ridiculous. It was just not real. Good grades, which for me, that was never a problem.

just that, just, and worrying so much about what family saw you as. You know, now as an adult, oh my God, now I could see it and I was, wow, that's a lot of pressure. But just that, just being perfect in everyone's eyes. Almost if they were under the pressure because we were adopted and they wanted to prove they made the right decision, if that makes sense. That's how I took it or understood it. Like, you know, yes, my kids are wonderful. You know, my daughters are, you know, perfect. Do you think those expectations you just described added to the pressure of why you couldn't told them about what happened to you and your sister?

One million percent. One million percent. Are you kidding me? We're young. And I'm talking young. Yeah. You always have to, you demand respect when men are around. Do you know, like as young girls, you don't, okay, for instance, if people will come over and we would want to sit on our uncles or whatever on their laps, like to show a,

and play around, my mom would say, no, no, that doesn't look right. Don't sit on their laps. Don't, you know, they were overly protective, but they missed this. They missed it. And that was also a part of the reason that I couldn't tell them because I didn't want them to feel they failed so bad with that. You know, like you took so, you tried so hard and you missed it. It was right under your nose. So I would have died and never told my mom and dad, but my sister, she was a different story and she decided she wanted to. And, you know, it came out and, you know, they blamed each other.

And it was an ugly time. But we were already adults. you know. Looking back on it now, do you wish you said something when it happened? No. No.

I fear more what would have happened had they found out and couldn't get over it. So I don't. I would, I stand with the decision that even though

I could have possibly gotten help, I don't know what it would have did to them and I was, you know, like from seven years old to ten years old. I'm talking young. And after that age, we moved and stuff stopped and stuff, we had enough good times that we allowed life to continue. And I don't know if that would have been able to happen had we said something. I don't think my dad would have forgiven himself. And my dad was my rock.

Like my dad was, you know, like, I think he would have never forgiven himself for not protecting us. And that would hurt me more. So, no. What was your childhood dream when you were growing up? What did you want to become? One thing that I found out is that I don't even, I didn't have one. you don't realize what happens to you until you go through all this, you know, therapy, and you find out that you, there was a certain incident when you were a child that you left your body.

And you just live without, I just wanted to make people proud. I just, and that's the funny part. I didn't want to disappoint. I don't even remember what I wanted to be. There was nothing that I wanted to be. When I was a child to say, when I grow up, I want to do this? No. I was surviving and trying to understand what I'm doing here.

Did you graduate high school and go to college? Yes. What did you do in college? I graduated high school and I went to college and took just general classes. At first I wanted to be a nurse. nurse because I wanted to help people. But I have a problem with math. I hate math. My brain does not work with math. I graduated high school in basic math, and I couldn't get past it. So when I took the entry level thing for the college, they wanted me to take two years of math before even getting

to the entry level, you know, and I said, okay, no, I'm not going to do that. And then so what I did was I got a job. In high school, I got a job in a dental office. And I just started taking x-rays, became a dental assistant, worked for an office manager, and then ended up staying in that realm for a long, like 30 years, you know, 25 years, 30 years, just running dental corporations and, you know, making Dennis Ridge and all that. But I did decide that I wanted to become a court reporter. And that was after I got sick.

But I became a court reporter. It took me four years. Why a court reporter? The truth? Because I looked up what career paid the most with no math. I'm sure there must have been other careers. than a court reporter. But I found it challenging.

And you know what I found? And I don't even know why. Maybe a movie or something. They would sit there and they sat there with so much, is it class or you? People just look at them in awe. Like, wow, they're typing everything, you know. And I just thought, wow, that's it. You know, and when I started, I felt in love with it, the schooling and the this and the that.

It was state or federal court? It was state. I got my license, national license and state license. And I passed it on the first attempt, only 18% of people that take the state board in California pass. And I passed it on the first attempt. And I had my baby already, and I already had a job. You know, I... What's the difference between butter and butter made from real California dairy?

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it must have been hard to be a court reporter to watch some of these cases unfold. It was very hard because I didn't do it long. I didn't do it long, but the hardest thing in the world for me was being assigned to child protective court. And it was cases against parents abusing their children. and that was hard.

I did it for like two weeks and I could feel like that my concentration was taking me back. And you can't do that because you're writing 220 words a minute and you have to be on it. There's no like, hold on, you know.

And I had to request not to be placed in those anymore because I couldn't. I couldn't do it without it taking me to a certain place that I didn't. I had worked very hard not to remember. And so that was hard. Yeah, but going backwards a little bit, when Joseph was born, this plays a big part in this. When Joseph was born, he was one month old. and I went for a one-month check me, and they noticed the lump in my neck and had an emergency

biopsy, and it ended up being cancer, and I had to have a surgery and really quick surgery, and it was going to be easy, and it ended up being that the cancer had spread to my chest, to the lymph, notes, everywhere in my neck. You know, fast forward to me having a one-month-old and that I planned. You know, we were married four years before we even tried. And here comes Joe, my angel, my baby, and he's a month old. I go to, they send me to a specialist, the oncologist. And he basically said, you know, you can't have any more children, number one. So I had to have my tubes tied. So there goes that.

And you are, the words he used were you are a ticking time bomb. Because it's in the, the lymph nodes that are like a freeway that travel everywhere. And if you feel pain here or if you feel pain here, you have to tell the doctor because that's probably where it's at. And then he said, and, and I told, I asked him, and I said, I was planning on starting school, you know, in June or something. It was in a few months. And, and then I said, and he said, I'm going to be honest with you. I don't see you living to see your child turned five. Wow. And I had a one month old. I mean, that's my baby.

So that began a phase in my life where I was just trying to, you know, I did everything. Like you say, you can feel I'm a very caring person and I am. And I was so angry. I was so angry because I said, I didn't understand I've never been very religious, nor am I going to be because that's something that I'm not going to do because of this or, you know, I believe in God and I believe in fate and all that. But I was mad because, you know what, I'm married. Shoot, if I die, he's going to find someone else and life goes on.

But how dare you give me a child that no one is going to love like me? and tell me I'm not going to be here. So it just shifts your mind in such a horrible way. So I had like three or four surgeries cut open, do this, do that. And then somebody gave me a book to read that changed my life back then. It was called Love Medicine and Miracles by Dr. Bernie Siegel. And what it showed, it showed the power of positive thinking and the power of negative thinking. Doctors are not God.

They can only tell you, okay, yeah, you have five years to live. They don't have the right to do that. But if your mind isn't strong enough to try and fight it, you give up. And it has shown. And so they did a study real quickly. they did a study at some college where they told cancer patients, you are taking this miracle drug that's been curing people, blah, blah, blah, blah, and they took it, and they actually showed that the cancers were going away and this and that. Then they made the mistake of telling the people,

we lied, it was just water you were drinking. And some of the people gave up hope and so that's the power of faith. It's like if you have to believe, right? So the bottom line is it just taught me and I remember that, you know, who is he to tell me? I'm not going to see my son turn to his five. And then I said, everybody that comes on this earth has their time when they're going to pass away. I mean, I'm right here. I'm coming down an elevator. I can get in my car and get killed. in the freeway, you know? And so I said, no, I'm going to school. I'm going to school.

I'm not going to be the one that gives up. So I made the decision to fight and to be a positive thinker. You know, I got this. As long as I think positive, I got this. And so I went to school four years. I had 13 surgeries during that. And they were just taking little chunks out, little lymph nodes as it was spreading, you know. But then it settled down to where they're just taking lymph nodes,

but it's no longer spreading. And then they give you like a timeline. Like if you show that nothing comes back by this day, you can honestly say you've beat it and you're in remission. And so every six months I go for skin. I go for scans, MRI scans, blah, blah, blah. I finish school, take my state board, pass the state board. The joy and satisfaction and just everything my life now is good.

Had one more exam thing to pass, had gotten the job at the San Diego County Courthouse that I wanted so bad. was the one the court reporter sitting there with all the class in the world and being admired. Life was good. And I went for the MRI, and by the time I came home, I remember the answering machine was blinking. And somehow I knew it. It was the doctor's office. They wanted to see me the next morning before 9 o'clock.

And, you know, you just go in and just like the movies. it had come back bad. And it required a massive surgery that required me losing half of my neck and my arm muscle. The ligaments over here, it was bad. And they were going to do one side first and then the other side had to be done six months later or something. So I had this side done and I never, and I lost all the strength in my arm, so I couldn't be a court reporter anymore. And that's where my life, I'm done. I'm done trying to do things right.

Because what? I felt like, what the hell? Whoever's running shit up there? You know, it's like, what the hell? Why do you let me go to school for years so that you can remove my neck muscle, my arm? It's too much. And I, that's where I made the decision, you know. I was just done trying to live things by the book and do things right.

When you were a court reporter, did you ever picture yourself sitting in a courtroom on the other end of it? No. Hell no. And I'm going to tell you, San Diego County Courthouse is where I worked. And you work different courtrooms, you know. And that was a place where I was so proud, so proud because I was Hispanic, number one, where, you know, it's a very Hispanic, um, town. And, you know, it's a very Hispanic, um, there because we're right next to the border. So a lot of, there was a lot of gangs and a lot. So a lot of the criminals and the people there were, were Mexican, you know, and stuff. And, you know, I had to, there was times where I was sitting there waiting for the case to start. And, you know, you look at me, hello, Brown, and attorneys right there chit-chatting, talking crap about

Mexican this and Mexican, you know, and then they would look, oh, sorry. you know, like that kind of stuff, you know. But I was on the right side, you know. I was there. I would take my machine and I would go into the hallway and to the office and transcribe things. I was so proud because it felt so good. And don't you know that when they handcuffed me and took me into custody, it was in the same courtrooms I worked in

and in the same hallways that I had to walk down in handcuffs. Who lives that? I felt like full circle. During one of the times when they were trying to, when I first turned myself in and they were trying to see if I could get out on my OR, you know,

just because I never broke any damn law in my life and all this and that. And the attorney was saying, yes, she's a licensed court reporter. She's not going to leave, blah, blah, blah, blah. And when he said she's a licensed court reporter, I was looking at the court reporter that was taking down and she went like that. Oh, my gosh. I was so angry inside of me. I don't even know why I was angry because I've, like, I dropped down to like, how did I allow myself?

I get speechless when I, I don't know, she smirked like, yeah, right. Like looking at me, she just like smirked like, no way that person, you know, sure she was. But yeah, same courthouse, same hallways, the elevators. Hey, you there, in the baby registry rabbit hole. The thing experienced parents agree on, a nanit smart baby monitor. One camera, one app for video, breathing motion monitoring, and personalized sleep insights. All in one place. Check in from anywhere.

Get real-time safety notifications and capture every sleepy smile and good night kiss. The best part, those insights help you get more sleep, starting night one. Add it to your registry or shop at Nanit, N-A-N-I-T-com. Hey, you there, in the baby registry rabbit hole. The thing experienced parents agree on, a Nanit smart baby monitor, one camera, one app for video, breathing motion monitoring, and personalized sleep insights. All in one place.

Check in from anywhere. Get real-time safety notifications and capture every single. sleepy smile and good night kiss. The best part, those insights help you get more sleep, starting night one. Add it to your registry or shop at Nanit, N-A-N-I-T dot com. Hey, you there, in the baby registry rabbit hole. The thing experienced parents agree on, a Nanit smart baby monitor, one camera, one app for video, breathing motion monitoring,

and personalized sleep insights. All in one place. Check in from anywhere. get real-time safety notifications and capture every sleepy smile and good-night kiss. The best part, those insights help you get more sleep, starting night one. Add it to your registry or shop at NANET, N-A-N-I-T dot com. Tell us how you went from court reporter to prison. During the time that I was in court reporting school and I was being a mom, I was being a wife,

I was going to school, and I still had my dental office. jobs. And I was managing one corporation where I had been working for two dentists that were the picture of corruption. They both, you know, like doing, like billing the state for things that you're not supposed to bill for dental work. Even worse than that, they lied and said they were disabled, and I would help them with all their lies, and I would help them be all crooked, and they were getting all this workers' comp, and then he did first, and then she did second. There were husband and wife. And it was just, I was just working, knowing that I was on my way out, because as soon as I got my clearance, I was going to leave that job with the dental firm and then just go straight full-time with the court.

But something told me or something kept me there. So I was still working part-time with the dental and doing all my part-time with the, you know, per diem at the court. And when, okay, so during this time, okay, we need paperwork saying that we work here. We need paperwork saying. that we produce $5,000 a day, we need paper, anything they needed. I was there with them. Same dental place, probably like 12 years or 13 years. I was there forever. You know, I was made, I made them rich because I'm very smart, meaning as far as running a business and stuff like that, dental, I was so much, so experienced in what I was doing. I knew how to schedule. I know how to do it the right way, which is how it started. And then they became greedy and started doing things

and they needed my help to do it. Okay, there would be times where I would come in on weekends because they would tell me, we need to destroy all the computers, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I would, there I am doing, you know, shit like that to cover for them, which was fine. Because they paid me good, you know, they paid me good. But not good enough, like my core report. hoarding wood a page, you know, but they paid me good. You know, I had a good life and stuff. And so I just did it. And I didn't care that they were ripping people off, the state off, or the compensation workers' comp. I didn't care. You know, they would video him to see if he was faking it or whatever. Destroyed computers, doing this, everything. When this happened with me

I, when it was taken from me and I could no longer be a court reporter, I felt, what the hell? What am I doing? You know, why am I trying to do things right? Shit. And somehow my mind shifted and said, and the cancer was bad. I had to have another surgery and I decided I'm not doing it. because it was so bad doing this one that I decided I wasn't doing this way. So I could just see it.

Maybe I had a year to live, maybe a year and a half to live if I didn't do the surgery. And I say, shit, I'm going to get me some money now. And these people, because they never went in the office, she would go in and she would sign these stacks of blank checks. Sign them. Every month. And I would pay the bills. I would pay the people. I would pay everything.

I would do everything. And they would just, everything was fine. Everything was fine. And then I just said, shit. They're blank. They're sitting there. They don't even look at them. And I started paying myself more and more.

And taking trips and buying things and living a life because what the hell? I want my son to have fun. I want him to remember. good times with his mother. I want him to have wonderful memories. We would go and rent houseboats and vacations. Then I started gambling. Then just, I just went from trying to be the most proper person in the world to just, and living with that secret. I was happily married. I had a wonderful marriage. And he wouldn't know because I handled all the bills. So all of a sudden, we're taking vacations, we're buying jet skis, were this, were that. And I said, oh yeah,

they're paying me more money, you know, and this and that. And he never, ever knew. Never. Nobody knew. I lived with that secret inside of me. And it went on for a few years because I didn't die. but then the pressure of then you sort of dig your whole deeper, you know, and then they wanted to serve a practice. Yeah, that's what it was. And so you have to then present records. Yeah, show the books and all that. And all of a sudden you're like, okay, I'm not dying yet.

And what am I going to do? And the pressure of that, you know, then my son went to college. So I'm done with him. Now I'm just here. Now all of a sudden, my life shifted to where I had no purpose except how am I going to fix these records? What am I doing?

Living with that in your mind without being able to share it with anyone? I started drinking and drinking and drinking. And that's how eventually I got caught. is I got messy because I became of a binge alcoholic, full, full-blown alcoholic, because the pressure just did it to me. And so I started missing work, and there was a week where I had a binge week and I missed the whole week and they ended up looking in the records and that's how it that's how they found out and so then that's how it all starts you know and and then i just if i drink enough maybe it's going to

speed up my death maybe i didn't know i didn't no longer my son didn't need me anymore he was in college um he wasn't going to forget about me And now they let my husband know of what I was doing. And now everybody was starting to know. And Becky, the person who lived to make people proud was the biggest disappointment ever. When did they arrest you? I turned myself in when they were going to go and arrest me. And I turned, I turned myself in and, and, okay, I went to prison like 2000, like in 2005, you know, there, I turned myself in.

And I had, I was very sick. I was very sick and I was an alcoholic. It went from bad to worse. I threw away my marriage, 22 years. My poor son. was in college having to see his alcoholic mom. And then I turned myself in and I kept getting continuances, continuances, continuances, because they told me I was going to die. And then finally in 2007, around there, like after two years of continuances or something, I was supposed to be getting house arrest. My attorney said, you know, 99.9% you're going to get house arrest.

You've never been in trouble, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I remember waking up the morning and going finally the judge said, there will be no more continuances because he had gotten sick of it. I remember waking up that morning. I remember opening up a bottle of. wine and drinking half of it and setting it on my bed thing, nightstand, and saying, I'll be back. So I at least have half more. I'll be back.

And remember my mom and dad, they were gone somewhere, like on a vacation or something. And they were due back that evening. And my friend took me to court. I left my house. the way I left my house, fully expecting to come home with the thing. A couple of days before, my attorney had gotten into a very bad car accident, and they had to give the case to a substitute person. I remember sitting in the court right there, the hallway,

and her coming up to me, and I'm buzzed, and she looks at me, she says, Okay, so they want to give you three years. And I'm looking at her like, okay, I said, house arrest? And she says, no, he wants you to do time. It was just too much money. You're going to do time. I said, but Mr. So-and-so said 99.99% house arrest.

And she looks at me, she says, well, you're that 0.001%. I said, okay, when do I have to turn myself in? I see it in the movies all the time where they say, okay, you come back in a week and you do your time. And she looks at me and says, now, my son is at school in college. And I said, oh, hell no. And don't you know, like the brain of an alcoholic? I was thinking, oh, shit, how can I get home to drink that other second bottle? I mean, half of the bottle, what's going on?

And like, I was like, so I went in the bathroom and I told my girlfriend, I said, I am not going away for this time. Is he now? I haven't packed my house. You know, everything just went lulu land on me. And so the attorney comes in and you have two minutes to get in the court. And I contemplated running. Don't you know, I contemplated running, leaving the courthouse. and then I just said, okay, you know what, screw this.

I was exhausted. Mentally, from those years of postponing and postponing and digging harder into alcohol, ruining my life, ruining everything. I just said, let's just go. And I just went in and the judge just said, he said something like, because of you, you know, I read a statement from them, the dentist. They had to return to work longer. And I said, no, they didn't.

There were on workers' comm. And then the lady said, he doesn't want to hear from you. He's just, and I said, they were bad people. That's what, and I'm trying to talk, you know. No, so then he just said, you're remanded into custody, blah, blah, blah. And they handcuff you right there, and they just take you in. And that's how I went from a court reporter taking notes and me looking at her and me walking out and being arrested.

How much money did they say you stole? They said I stole 260,000. No wait, 400. $260,000. Did you? And because, yeah, way more.

At least you're honest. It was way more. I think you're the first person that's been on the show that hasn't said it was way less. Oh, no, it was more because

the reason it was more, it was because in addition to that, what brought me joy was gambling. So, I didn't show I had the money. I mean, yes, we took vacations and yes, I splurged. I'm not a name brand Mercedes type of person. You know, I'm like just normal. So you couldn't tell I had was spending money. But I was, I wanted memories. That's all I kept saying is I want to make memories with my son and this and that. And then any free time I had, I would go to the casino and just that was my piece. that was my piece. That's where I got to get away of what I had done with my life, you know. And so that's why I said it was a lot because it went on and, you know, just the casino, shoot, that's fun when it's not your money. You don't, you know, but yeah. And when I say fun, it was fun, it was. It was.

You go away. You know, it takes you away from life. And it was so amazing to be away from your mess that, yeah, no, I did it. Why do you think that they decide to turn you in when they were up to no good themselves? Do you want me to tell you why? I'll tell you why. I know why. Because they had insurance.

They had insurance. And so they documented every dollar that they could document that I had stole, and they got insurance and got money for it. But they're exposing themselves to you because you knew about their personal information what they were doing. Yeah, but they, when I met with the people to tell them about what they were doing, they thought I was saying it because, like they did a belief. me. To save yourself. Yeah, and there was no proof because I myself destroyed the computers. So, yeah, to save myself, I was doing that. So there was no proof. So they got richer. So that's why I didn't have any, um, when you have to pay the money back, what's it called? Restitution. Yeah, restitution. I had zero restitution. Oh, you didn't have any restitution? Zero. Oh, you didn't have to pay back the insurance company? No, no. No, no. Osh. Okay.

Lucky you. Yeah. Well, this is also a year. years later. Okay, yeah. I didn't. Good for you. And so, yeah, at least that was, but they got even richer. So you got sentenced to three years in prison? Yes. Tell us what happens from the time they put the cuffs on you and bring you to jail and what that first day was like. So I go to, okay, so you have to see the picture of what I am. I'm an alcoholic who has to detox first. I am sick I take medicine

I would say about seven different medicines at that time and I'm getting sent to jail so the biggest first of all I had a detox so the first thing I have to tell the people they do like an intake at the county and you have to tell them it was like an interview and stuff

and I had to tell them, you know, I take medicine. My list of my medicines, what I could remember. I already needed a drink. I was getting the shakes really bad. I told them I am an alcoholic and I need something because I'm going to go through withdrawals and stuff. And so my fear was them not believing. what I was telling them and just thinking I wanted drugs because, you know, I had just heard a lot of stories about being incarcerated and this and that. And so they did believe me there at County.

And I did remember a lot of my medicines. And the ones that I didn't remember, I had to call my ex-husband because by now it's Joseph's dad, my ex-husband. he's the one that knew the medicines I was on and what, you know, more or less, he could get a list for these people and he was, you know, and it was the only freaking phone number I remembered in my head was his phone number. And so just the fear of all that. And so I got my medicines. I went through, I think two days of like.

sleeping where, you know, it's like total detox stuff. And then you just realize county, you know, there was nice people because they saw I was so sick. And I had, you know, my scar, now they've healed quite a bit, but my scarring was quite, whoa, you know. And so I was lucky enough. to have been placed in a place where there was caring people that guided me to, this is where you got to go, this is who you got to talk to. And what I mean by that are the incarcerated individuals, not staff. It's the people in there that were so helpful and kind. and it was just like to me not knowing what to expect expect of that you know it was very refreshing and very like

thank you you know and you know you have to talk to this person here they'll make sure you do this and and just guide you because you know that's one thing i have to say is boy there you go and you know nothing of what to do. And everything you learn is from the incarcerated people there that teach you what to do, when to get up, when to sit down, what to, boy, you know, but, so that was county, that was okay. And then keep in mind that all this time, three days, four days, I didn't know, how my mom was.

She came home from her trip, went to my house looking for me, and I'm gone. And then I didn't know how my son was doing, but luckily on the first phone call, I got to talk to his dad. I said, tell Joe, I'm okay. You know, tell Joe, my biggest fear, my biggest fear was rejection from my son. I could not rest until I was in county a few days, maybe four days, and they wake you up in the middle of the night and they take you. And then, you know, and then, you know, because I was a cancer patient,

no camp was adequate for me. So you had to go to a higher security? I went to Chow Chowchilla, the highest woman, max, So the counselor is telling me there's no, they don't have the services that you need in any of these camps. You need to be sentenced. I mean, do your time in Chow Chila. And I'm like, okay. And then he says, that is a maximum security prison.

Look at me. I was like, how did I go from? house arrest to a maximum security prison. How old are you when you first stepped into prison? Oh, God. Okay. So wait. I'm 60, going to be 63 next week.

So you're in your 50s back? Yeah. Happy birthday. Oh, thanks. So. Hey, you there in the baby registry rabbit hole. The thing experienced parents agree on. A nanit smart baby monitor.

One camera. one app for video, breathing motion monitoring, and personalized sleep insights. All in one place. Check in from anywhere. Get real-time safety notifications and capture every sleepy smile and goodnight kiss. The best part? Those insights help you get more sleep. Starting night one.

Add it to your registry or shop at NANET.com. Hey, you there. In the baby registry rabbit hole. The thing experienced parents agree on, a Nanit smart baby monitor. One camera, one app for video, breathing motion monitoring, and personalized sleep insights. All in one place. Check in from anywhere.

Get real-time safety notifications and capture every sleepy smile and good night kiss. The best part? Those insights help you get more sleep. Starting night one. Add it to your registry or shop at Nanit, N-A-N-I-T.com. Hey, you there. In the baby registry rabbit hole. The thing experienced parents agree on, a Nanette smart baby monitor.

One camera, one app for video, breathing motion monitoring, and personalized sleep insights. All in one place. Check in from anywhere. Get real-time safety notifications and capture every sleepy smile and goodnight kiss. The best part? Those insights help you get more sleep. Starting night one. Add it to your registry or shop at Nanit, N-N-I-T.com.

Yeah. And tell us about that first conversation with your son and how do you get past the point of, you know, that feeling of being a letdown to him. Oh, my God. Because I'm sure that's probably every parent's worst nightmare, especially with the upbringing you had. Yeah. So with Joseph, okay, they put me in Chalchilla and then you have to sign up for a phone call, you know, and all this stuff. And I don't know nothing. and I keep missing the time, and I don't know how to use the phones.

And, you know, again, thank God for people, right? And they walked me through everything. And finally, O'ian, I called and he answered. And I got to hear his voice. Okay, I'm going to be fine. And he said, how are you doing, Ma? And I could feel he still loved me. And I was just like, shit, I got this.

Joe, I am fine. I don't want you to worry. I don't want this shit to impact your school. Don't you mess up in school because of your mom. And that was my biggest, you know, because that's how he got notified. Like somebody, my friend called him, and he said, walking from one class to another in college and hi, your mom's in prison or jail. You know, that's how he finds out. And so as soon as I felt he was still my son and he still cared and

his concern was, how are you, mom? Oh my God. It was, it wasn't even a, I'm sorry, I messed up, this and that. It was just like, we got this. We've gone through so much already. We're going to get through this too. And that was all I needed. I needed just to hear him. I needed to know I still had him on my side

because, you know, I had already thrown away a marriage with his dad. And my mom, you know, she didn't want to see me. there was no way in the world she was going to visit anyone in prison that's just not her she's not going to do that you know that kind of attitude and so i knew it was going to be i was going to be alone if i wouldn't have made it if it wasn't for joe because i wouldn't have had a reason to if you know so that's what it was it was just hearing you have support makes all the difference in the world.

What was the most eye-opening thing for you about prison? The most eye-opening thing for me. You know, you forget, you forget that a world exists. Like your mind literally forgets that, I think you go into a survival mode. And you forget a world exists. you just deal with, okay, I'm here, and people make a world out of, like, for instance, somebody would say, hey, where do you live at? And I was, I would answer, you know, Chalovista, like where I came from. And what they were talking about was, where do you live in what cell, in what building?

And then they were, you know, all of us said, oh yeah, there's my cousin, this is my aunt, this is my uncle, there's my mom, there's my, you know, they create families. They create their world in there. And I guess that is eye-opening because you really, it really happens. You know, I was lucky enough to know I was getting out. but because I was in Chowchilla, I shared a cell with people that knew they weren't getting out. So in order for them to survive, their minds help them create a world inside there of family and living. You know, it's like, I remember it's like, okay, let's decorate for Christmas. Let's, you know, and they made it work.

You know, we would have potlucks with ramen and chichadones and, you know, you make cake out of Kool-Aid and cheesecake. And they made it. work. I was amazed by that. That, you know, hell, I even saw them do the drinks, you know, they would make the babies and burp their hooch or whatever it was called with, you know, okay, today we're going to go to the lunch place and we're going to all bring back our fruits. And we're going to, and I'm sitting there going, okay, and I'm sitting there going, what? Oh, yeah, we're going to make some hooge. Well, we're going to party because it's

It's 4th of July. You know, you create a new reality, if that's the best way I can explain it. And they live that reality to the fullest. Yeah, burping the baby. And here comes, you know, they have to hide the baby from the guards. And I'm sitting there going, what is happening? You know, because all this is happening. I'm new, but they've been there.

years. So it's just life as normal for them and it's time to pull it out and Becky, do you want to try it? And I'm like, no. And the, but the funny part is that they would laugh at me because I say, I cannot try that because if that is alcohol, I'm going to be mad if I catch a buzz and I can't go to the liquor store and get more. You know, and they would laugh. I said, no, that's a tease for me. I can't, you know, so I did my whole years, never touching it. But they would get so, and they would party and celebrate, and there was joy. You know, it was crazy. That was the biggest eye-opener for me was the way people's minds can make things work for them,

especially the lifers, especially the lifers, you know, and to learn how not to say when you're getting out and to learn, it's a world in there. And it's, you know, I did something there in prison that was, I have to talk about it because to me, it changed my life. well I went to so much there but the one thing that I did do is I took a 13 week course Houses of Healing and I sat in a group for all these weeks and you start to see what causes you to do these crimes you know I'm there and she's there for murder she's there for murder she's you know and there's so much

that you learn about yourself if you stop to take the time to learn. I see that there are programs in there that are meant to help. But my thing is, why do you get these programs when you're already doing life? You should make these programs available for people before. It's like I had to confront the small child that slept on the floor by my mom's bed because she was so afraid of the molester coming to get her. And I had to go to prison to take the time to find out that that's what had happened and that's where my life had deviated. You know, and you just learned so much. But I got so much out of it. My cancer came back. I was in prison, taken in shackles and handcuffs to the hospitals.

I had a radiation treatment in there. Ian, I don't know what I'm doing here here in this world, you know, because the day I got my radiation treatment, they have to keep you in seclusion for three days because you have so much radiation, okay? And I'm laying down alone in a jail set. alone. This is a day my son is celebrating and having his party from graduating college. And I'm in the hospital bed in a cell alone dying. And I remember saying to God, was I really

that horrible? Was I really that horrible that this, dying alone in a jail cell while my son is celebrating his college graduation? The thing that I would have died to be at, that's how horrible I am. That's how I'm going to go out because I was sick. I was sick. I had lost like 40 pounds in there. I was sick. And I thought I was going to close my eyes and not wake up. I want it not to wake up. And I woke up. Why do you think you woke up?

I'm still waiting now to find out. What, to this day? To this day. Well, I think there's plenty of your business. Well, I mean, I thank God I woke up, but I still feel like there's a further purpose. Like, I woke up, I got out. I'm here. I've been working for my son doing this. I have so many messages to give. I'm a cancer survivor. I'm an alcoholism. I'm 14 years sober two days ago. 14 years sober. Congratulations. Not one drink. And I stopped testing for the cancer. I just said, you can only have five years of radio.

treatment because it's so potent. And in the prison, I made the decision to have the six dose because that was it. That was it. That's all they could do. So I'm like, why test? I'm not going to get the surgeries anymore. I hurt. So why do it?

So I stopped testing years ago. And I'm here. And I laugh and I'm joyful and I'm, I celebrate. and but when I say I don't know is because I don't know why a person would be put on this earth to go through everything that I have gone through in one life, you know? Most people don't go through any of that in their life, you know. I was adopted. I was sexually molested.

I was in a domestic violence that I got out real quick. that I went to prison. I got cancer. And here I am. And when I say I don't know why, at first I thought it was to see my son grow more than five years old. You know? And then when he went to college, I was like, oh, my God.

I remember at his high school graduation thinking, wow, now what? he's going to college. Now what am I going to do? Like this is all I live for. And then he graduated college and then this and now we're here. And now I'm like, okay. But I learned so much in prison. I met wonderful people.

And I feel that that is where I'm going because I care. I care about the people in their people. Because to see the women in their doing a life because they shot a molester that was molesting their grandchildren. You know, I understand. What was one woman's story that really sticks out with you to this day? That one. That one. I would sit with her and she talked to me.

and she said it was her daughter's boyfriend that was molesting her little girls, her granddaughter's, and that she knew her daughter was not going to leave him. And she made the decision that it was worth her life. She didn't care that she was going to protect her granddaughters. She shot that man, and she killed him because she knew he would, continue forever. And she didn't want that. And she's straight, this little lady just like with her white hair and she was just so at peace.

You know, she was so at peace. And I remember thinking, wow. She said, and I would do it again, period. No regrets. At peace. serving life in prison for that. Yes, life. She was serving life. And just she was watching TV. We were in the day room. She was watching TV. And I never knew her story, you know, and then I don't know what it was. We were just talking about something. And then you don't talk about your crime, but I don't know,

maybe she felt like talking or something. And she told me what she did. And she turned around and I I was here and she was right here and then she would say, and I would do it again. Like straight out. You know, so you have these stories. You have the stories of people that were in my group and houses of healing that they would rip off, meet guys at a bar and then take them to the hotels and rip them off and one of them died and this and that. Okay? That was their story.

but as you went through the weeks of this intense digging deep, you had to write a letter and say why you felt you did what you did. And her story ended up being, her mom used to take her to the bars as a child and have her sit on men's laps. And the men would put their hands in her dresses, in her dress, and grab her. And so she despised men and ended up being,

that's where she went wrong. You know, so it's like, yes, there are evil people. I get that. I'm not saying there's innocent people everywhere. But there are also people that are in prison because of circumstances. you know like she hated men and so you flip it around and she would go to these bars and rip them off and then you know shit like that but when that comes out and you're sitting down and you're listening to this you're like wow so it's like wouldn't have been nice to have gotten you the

therapy before you got that far but you don't I It's not recognized. I don't know what goes wrong, but, you know, stuff like that. I have a lot more compassion for people in there that are in there because of circumstances like that. And I met enough and saw enough that, you know, I see it opened my eyes. I was very I would criticize addiction I would criticize people locked up

I was like maybe I don't know but I remember I used to say oh my God how can a mom choose drugs or alcohol over their kid I was that person I became that person when my kid

begged me to stop drinking I couldn't So that's how. So now I respect that kind of stuff, you know. And in prison, you know, I was so... Hey, you there in the baby registry rabbit hole. The thing experienced parents agree on? A nanit smart baby monitor. One camera, one app for video, breathing motion monitoring,

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Add it to your registry or shop at NANET.com. Scared of going to prison and I met some beautiful people there. How long do you end up serving on three years? A little over two. Two in four months, six months, two and something like that. What was your plan when you got out? I didn't have one. My mom and dad and Joseph picked me up.

I had no plan. I was going to go live with my mom under the same pressure. And, you know, she was going to decide who she's going to lie to. And, you know, maybe not everybody knows that I was incarcerated and blah, blah, blah. You know, the same cycle in and Joe has. had a plan of this, of Pellipost, but I didn't have a plan and we didn't know if this was going to work or if it was, you know, and I still, although I didn't drink in three, almost three years that I was locked up, I got out and started drinking again because I got out of

failure. I would get pissed that my aunts would come over and say, okay, if they asked, just tell him you went to a vacation and, you know, that kind of stuff. How is it? Oh, no, no. I didn't want to go back to the old Becky of trying to please everyone. And so I myself, after a couple of binges, I just said, you know what? I'm done. I'm done. I'm talking. hired of this. And so I had insurance and I got on the phone and said, I need a center. I need treatment for my alcohol. And two days later, I checked myself in. And I did an outpatient, six weeks outpatient, dual diagnosis. The most smartest thing anyone could do. It's not the drinking that's your problem. It is why you're drinking. That's your problem. Fix that.

And what I learned it was is the pressure of trying to make everybody proud, trying to make myself value. You know, trying to show like, please don't wish you didn't adopt me or please, you know, and the damage that was done to me by the molestation was severe because I began a game of ketchup. And not until I realized that, did I figure like, wow. And so now I'm just like, I don't want to play games. You know, I did my time. And now, thank God Joseph started this company. I'm helping him run it.

We're kicking some butt. I love and believe what we do, you know. And I want to get more involved. You know, I'd love to talk to people like you. That's right. When they said, you're going to go get interviewed, I said, oh, my God, it was really exciting because I'm like, what am I going to talk about? and they're like, you have so much to talk about.

Like, every time I get interviewed or do little things like this, to be honest with you, Joseph is sitting like next to me. And he has this thing where he holds a pen. And he says, Mom, if you're talking too much, I'm going to lift the pen. And so I told him, before we came in here, I said, I hope I don't see you lifting that pen because, you know, I could talk, you know, because I feel that sometimes there's somebody out there that's going to hear something. that's going to make a difference in their life.

And if it's through something I've gone through that can help them or lead them, then that may be the reason I'm here. You never know, you know. And so, yeah, that's it. What advice would you give your younger self, teenage you, before this ever became a thought, prison, your struggles? Oh, my, teenage me. Don't worry.

so much about what others think of you. Don't rely, don't rely on others placing your value. You place your value. And you say what advice would I give a teenager, but that's the advice that I continue to struggle with even now. I have to stop needing others to. value me. I have to recognize my value myself. Teenage years were hard because I wanted everybody to like me. I wanted to wear the clothes out. Everybody thought I was cool. You know, that's hard. That's, you want to fit in so bad and you want others to like you and you want to, you can't be happy unless others like you or approve of you. And it is exhausting. That's exhausting. And it's exhausting in this age. And I tell my son, I think we were driving over here last night, and I tell my son,

at 60-something years old, I finally realized, who gives a shit if these people accept you, like you. I'm here, I'm living, I'm going to be gone, and no one's even going to remember me. You know, it's like you put so much pressure on being accepted, liked, wanted, approved. What's all the words that fall, you know? And that's one thing.

You know, I love my mother, my adoptive mother very much, very much. but oh my gosh she wanted the perfect kid and i really believe that that's damaging you know when i had joseph oh my god i don't care if you get second place third place fourth place as long as you do your best i'm not going to put any pressure on you i was the complete opposite mom because i knew the how hard that was. But yes, that's my advice and that's teenage, middle, old, whatever. I mean, yeah. Becky, I appreciate you coming on the show today.

Thank you so much. You did so well. You did really well. I did? Yeah. I'm sure he didn't raise the pen once out there. Oh, shit. He's already breaking his head over there shaking it.

No, you did really well. You know, it really goes to the point of purpose. What I realized in my life is, you know, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, your purpose, once you figure that out, nothing can derail that. It all kind of works out and sees how everything's supposed to come together. Yeah. No matter where it rode, it takes you. But yeah.

Yeah. And it brought you to Richfield, Connecticut. I know, and I love it. It was beautiful. Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Absolutely. All righty.