Locked In with Ian Bick - I Was a Prison Guard — Then I Got Sent To Prison | D'nita Hamilton

Episode Date: June 20, 2024

D'nita Hamilton was a correctional officer who unexpectedly finds herself on the other side of the bars. Discover how she navigated the challenges of prison life, the survival strategies she employed, and the lessons she learned along the way. This is a tale of resilience, adaptation, and the harsh realities of the criminal justice system. Don’t miss this eye-opening journey from authority to inmate and back again. Hosted, Executive Produced & Edited By Ian Bick: https://www.instagram.com/ian_bick/?hl=en https://ianbick.com/ Connect with D'nita Hamilton: https://www.instagram.com/dnita_applebum/ https://linktr.ee/nitastrong Big thanks to FACTOR for sponsoring this episode: Head to FACTORMEALS.com/lockedin50 and use code lockedin50 to get 50% off your first box plus 20% off your next month while your subscription is active! Powered by: Just Media House : https://www.justmediahouse.com/ Creative direction, design, assets, support by FWRD: https://www.fwrd.co Buy Merch: https://lockedinbrand.com Use code lockedin at checkout to get 20% off your order Timestamps: 00:00:00 - IIntro 00:03:41 - From Sports to Corrections 00:07:16 - The Journey to Becoming a Corrections Officer 00:11:05 - From Independence to Incarceration 00:14:36 - Mistaken Charges and Legal Battle 00:18:22 - From Correctional Officer to Wheelchair Prisoner 00:22:23 - Factor Ad 00:26:01 - Rejecting Handicapped Inmates 00:29:30 - Prison Life and Strip Searches 00:32:52 - Handicap Accessibility in Prisons 00:36:08 - The Accident and its Aftermath 00:39:58 - The Importance of a Support System in Prison 00:43:37 - Spreading Positive Energy 00:46:52 - Reunion and Reflections on Prison Experience 00:50:23 - Overcoming the Hump 00:57:47 - Hope and Light at the End of the Tunnel Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

One day, though, my bonky came to me and was like, yo, you know, one of the guards, so I don't remember the name. It was like, said you was a correctional officer before. I'm like, who? They said the name. I really don't remember. And I'm like, I don't even know who this guard is. I'm like, she wasn't even in my class. I'm like, why was she in my head?

I'm like, why would she do that? That's messy. So my bonky, like, yo, was you a correctional officer? I was like, what did I tell you? She, like, you said you worked for the state and stuff. like you was a teacher. I was like, all right then. Like I just kept it out and tried to like, you know, breathe to it because it's like, you know, in prison you can't really lie because they're going to, you got to kind of stand on your word type thing. So I'm like, you know,

I didn't technically lie. I just didn't say that part of the, that part of the story. This episode of Lockton with Ian Bick is brought to you by Factor. Do you want to get chef prepared meals on the table in two minutes? While you can by heading over to FactorMeals.com slash Lockton 50 and use code Lockedin 50 to get 50% off your first month plus 20% off your next box. Big thank you to Factor for continuously supporting Locked in. Danita, well, I pronounce that right? Yes. Okay, Danita, welcome to Lockton.

Thank you so much from traveling all the way from Jersey, New Jersey to be here. So many New Jersey people come on the show. It's awesome. Nothing but a drive. It ain't bad. I'm in South Jersey. It was about three hours. Drive was fine.

We was good. I picked such a great state to do this because you got New York, which are great stories, New Jersey, Connecticut, Massachusetts. And those are huge crime states. Right, right. And all, like, the mobsters are from Massachusetts and New York. Yeah. Right.

So, who would have thought? Like, life is just, like, peculiar in that way that everything works out that way. It works out. But thank you for bringing us some merch today. You got to have. and a band, if you want to just tell people what this represents and if they can purchase this and where they can get it from, too. Yes.

It represents, you know, my story. I was in a car accident and I started out in a wheelchair. They weren't sure if I was going to, you know, walk. I knew I was going to walk, but they wasn't sure if I was going to walk. And that was just the progress. And it got all the way to the end and, you know, you're holding the store. You're a winner. That's awesome.

And people can purchase that. Yes, people can purchase that. I don't have a website, but I have my Instagram. They can go on there or my TikTok. They can follow me on there or any all social media platforms. When you hit me up, I'll let you know what I got. I always post it. And then I'll mail it.

I'll ship it out to you and you'll get it. Yeah, and we'll have a description with your links and everything in the bio. We do that for all of our guests that come on to. Yes. Okay. Now, were you born in New Jersey? Did you grow up there? Born and raised in Palsboro, New Jersey.

Never left. Never left other than going to, you know, moving and college and everything. But born and raised. Big family or small? I have a small family, mom, mother father, older sister, twin sister, and a brother. But my brother just passed away in June. Oh, wow. I'm sorry to hear that.

Yes, thank you. Now, growing up, did you, what was that like? Did you guys have money? Were you guys middle class? Yes, growing up, I were like, we were middle class. always got anything. It felt like that we wanted. The Jordans, the guest, the Mosquino, like, whatever we wanted. My parents, you know, they worked and we asked for it and we got it. However, it was things that had to come with it. We had to make sure we were doing good in school.

You know, we get it, we get things when you, you know, do things. But yeah, we were, we were middle class, hardworking parents. So. And you went to public school? Yes, I went to Paulsboro Public School. Graduated from Paul's high school in 2003, end up going to college. I went to Juco at Salem Community College. Juco? Yeah.

In my mind, the way I thought my life was going to go was I was going to graduate, go, because I played basketball. I was going to go to a school, get maybe recruited by like Tennessee's or something like that. That was always my dream. And then end up playing in the WMBA.

And then after that, doing interviews and Red Carp. type. That's what I thought my life is going to be. You're still doing an interview now. Yeah, I'm not, but I'm still, and the way it came around and full circle, being here like this, it's still kind of worked out in God's favor, but it just didn't, it wasn't, wasn't what I wanted, wasn't what I wanted to go through, but, you know, I'm here now, so. Yeah, life has such a, you know, funny way of working out, and that's why I always start at

someone's beginning, because then the listeners can see how that, that, person started off, you know, in most cases normal. Right. Or it came from certain circumstances and it kind of evolves and shapes their story. Right. And it's just one moment. Like people, when I interview people, I say it's always that one mistake. And then you get comments from people where it's like, oh, they made so many after that.

Right. But the one started all those mistakes that came after that if there was. Yes. So it's such an integral part to hearing these stories and people's like many documentaries unfold in that sense. Right, right. So you were big on sports. Yes, I played basketball. I was a four-year varsity starter. I ran track, but I only ran track

for about two years, but I ran track and then I concentrated on basketball because that's what I knew that I wanted to do for like my career in life. But, you know, life takes its turns and doesn't always work out the way that you plan for. But I achieved everything that I did want to achieve. I went to college. I graduated from West Virginia Institute of Technology. then I end up coming back home, though. And then, you know, that's when life starts. You've had your parents all this time. And then now you graduate college,

and the plan didn't go to the way you want. And then you go back home. Now it's like, what I'm going to do? You got to work. Now I was like, you got to work. And I'm like, okay, so I graduated in education, but it took me a while to get, you know, into that. But finally I got into education.

I finally got the job and everything. And, you know, things were going good. It took some years, you know, with some bumps in the road. And I was a bartender, a toll collector. I had, I was the Jill of all trade. Oh, you just a toll collecting? I was a toll collector. I was everything.

Jill of all trades. And then I finally got, you know, in the teaching in that career. And I actually went back to my high school where I was graduated from. I got a job there. And then one day my, one of my friends was like, you know, they're hiring for corrections. They're hiring for corrections. And I'm like, you know, that does seem like a good career move at that time, you know.

And I'm like, I'll try it out. Like, why not? So I tried it out. And I went through the academy and I passed the academy because I always have that motivation to turn. I like, I'm not a quitter. So it was hard. Don't get me wrong. I cried every weekend and said I was going to quit.

But Monday morning, 3 o'clock, I was back going back in formation by 530. And I graduated academy and I started my career in corrections in South Jersey in Bridget in. It's called Southwood State Penitentiary. And I was there for eight months. And I was in there. They liked me there, you know what I'm saying? I was Hamilton, Hamilton, and, you know, I was cool. And I looked at the prisoners like, you know, they train you to the tree.

them a certain way and be like this and be like that. But that was never like my heart. Like that was just the job, the career. But my personality, I can't treat people like that. And besides, I look at it like, okay, you're already in prison. So you're already probably just out there anyway. Like, I don't need to make your job harder. You already know what your jobs is.

You all know what to do. Pretty much they help me out. Like this is what we do, Hamilton, da-da-da-da-da. You know what I'm talking, blah, blah, blah. Like, everything was fine. It was, it was, it was a good career. And then. There's always a then.

And then. I'm there for eight months. One morning, I wake up, go to work, and I'm driving, pass a car, pass a car, pass the car, go by another car, and another car is in that same lane that I was in. But it was dotted lines. So while I'm passing, this car decided to speed up. So I'm like, okay, I'm going to speed up Because I'm trying to pass this car And about the time I looked

And I turned to look And another car was coming to me And then we had his head on collision And I got ejected from the car And so now I'm laying out in the grass Not knowing like, you know, what's going on And ambulance come And people are screaming

And talking about my legs and everything And they're like the helicopters got to come And you know, we're going to ship you to Delaware You know, you have to go there and I'm just like, what is going on? Like, am I about to die? Like, what is this? I'm about to die.

And they're like, no, you're not going to die, but your legs are banged up pretty bad. I'm like, all right, that's cool. Like, well, whatever you do, just don't let me die. Like, you know, I'm not ready yet. Like, I'm at this time, I'm like 31. Just got in my 30s. I'm like, yeah, I start my career. Like, I got my insurance, house, car.

I'm set. Now I'm set until 65. That's what, you know, in my mind. And then that car accident changed everything. around. Next thing I know I'm in the hospital. Two broken, two broken legs, femur bust out, the other femur shattered, knee shattered, meniscus, tibia, fibula, from everything, everything from my hips down, just missing my hips by an inch, a half an inch, the doctor said. And that's when I knew like my life was a turnaround. I'm like, oh, snap.

like, what is about to happen? They're like, you know, your legs are banged up. And I'm, like, looking at the doctor. And I'm like, am I paralyzed? Like, hold on. Like, as long as you don't say, I'm paralyzed, if you give me that opportunity, I'm like, if you give me that opportunity to walk, I'm going to walk. And he's looking at me, like, because it's bad.

Like, I had, he couldn't, he didn't even know what to do. He had, he's like, you know, I have to go home and try to figure this out. And then we can try to attack this on a month. Monday. This was a Thursday. He was like, I've never seen nothing like this. I'm going to try to figure it out. You know, I just washed your legs out, try to do everything I could do, and we're going to, you know, start the process on Monday. And I'm like, okay. I'm like, all right. Like, now in my head, I'm like, all right, so, all right, this is going to happen. This is going to happen. And then, you know, I'm just going to start walking. No. He had a surgery, did another surgery.

The next surgery, this is like three surgeries in a week. The next thing I know, my leg gets infected, now they're like, now you have an infection. Now I'm in the hospital for three months, trying to fight the infection, trying not let my legs get cut off. And I'm like, yo, like, what's, like, what's going to happen? Like, I didn't, you know, now I'm like, yo, I go from having a house, career, life,

you know, relationship, like, everything is good, everything is good. And now I'm in the hospital fighting, not. know if I'm going to walk again, get news that, that, you know, somebody's in this accident and all this. And I'm just like, like, how did, like, what, what, what did I do in my life to get in this position? Because I'm like, I'm a good person. I do good things. I've always been, I've always been good through my whole life. I've always done the right thing. And now I end up here. Like, what, what is this to make me become in this, you know, type of? situation, you know, and then they're like, you know, De Nita, you can, like, you can do it.

I mean, it was a scary, it was a scary time. It was a scary time. I end up having, like, 32 surgeries that try to figure out what, what to do with my legs. He's going in, he's putting metal in, he's taking metal out. This doesn't work. That doesn't work. I'm like, am I going to lose my legs at this point? Like, I could never have imagined me not having legs. Like, you know what I'm like, am I going to walk? I'm going to play basketball. Like, that's my life. Like, you know, always being independent.

My independence was everything to me. So now you're telling me you're not sure what's going on with my legs and I could lose them and this and that. And now I was like, you know, that independence being snatched, that was the biggest thing for me. So I'm like, yo, like what am I about to do with my life? Then, like you said, that whirlwind. then comes around, you know, they finally finished everything after three months.

I go to rehab in Philly. I go there for two weeks. They're teaching me my independence. I go home happy. Everything's good. Get a phone call from the state troopers want me to come down there to make a statement. Okay, here I come. Go down there and make a statement.

They tell me, yeah, someone has actually passed away in this accident and somebody else was injured and started reading me to Minnie Miranda. And I'm like, wait, wait, wait. I'm going to, like, I'm going to jail. Like, y'all about to take me to jail now? They're like, yeah, where, you know, locked me. I'm like, I was only coming down here to make a statement. Like, how did come down here and make a statement?

And then y'all telling me this. And now you're about to lock me up. Because honestly, if I knew that, I wouldn't have went. Who's going to go down to the station and make a statement and get locked? I'm like, I would have never went down there if I knew that was going to happen. So I'm like, okay, I'm a CEO, and now y'all going to lock me up. I'm working for the state. So y'all know my background and everything is clear.

It ain't like I'm a bad person. Now I'm going to lock me up. It was an accident. No alcohol, no drugs, on my way to the correction, to the prison. And now, y'all telling me I'm going to prison. What were they charging you with at that time? It was called a violation. of public health and safety.

That's what I had pled guilty to, which was equivalent to a traffic ticket. So they didn't charge you with manslaughter or anything like that? They didn't charge me with manslaughter. They said it was violation of public health and safety and second degree aggravation or sort, I believe, or something like that. And that's a misdemeanor all across the board? Yes.

So even though someone passed away because of the accident, they charged you with that, which was a misdemeanor. And then I end up going, yeah, pretty much. That second degree anyway. Now, what did they say was your fault or wrongdoing in that moment for getting charged? Yes. They said that I was in double lines. When I was passing, I was in, when I was passing, I was in, you know, the double lines.

But they were trying to say it was solid lines. But when I started to pass, it was, you know, the dotted lines. But about time, it got to where we were at, it did end up turning. because the person that was next to me end up speeding up. And we've had statements from people that seen it. And even the people that seen it that made the statement, their statement just, for some reason, just didn't hold in court.

Because some guy actually seen the whole thing and said, like, you know, I watched this girl and she was doing the right thing. I actually seen this car speed up. So it's like, so whose fault was it really? And was there, was there cameras or it was just going based off of eyewitnesses that were able to piece it together? No, there was no cameras out there. It was a, this is a long road with nothing but maybe two, three houses and grass. It was the witness that, that saw it, the person that was in the car, and the person that I was passing.

And the person that I was passing, I guess is, you know, probably not going to admit like, hey, yeah, I sped up. but the person that was behind, the person that me and them had the head on collision is the one that's seen everything. So his statement would have been the statement that I figured that, you know, we used in court. And even though it seemed like we would use it, it just was just like, fell on deaf ears.

Like, oh, no, no, no, no. And during this time, you were still employed by the Department of Corrections? They end up actually, no. No, I was still, I was still, yes, employed until I end up getting the charge and then they had to... They fired you right down there. They had to cut me off because they were helping out, you know, giving me days.

So it was like I was still working and everything so I could still get paid. Oh, you were able to work too with the injuries? No, I couldn't walk. I had all this was going on and I couldn't, after the accident, I couldn't do anything. So when they locked me up, I was in the wheelchair, taking a picture. but they end up let me out that night. They end up let me out. I was locked up for a little bit.

Then I end up like two months later, I read the newspaper and everybody was calling me actually, and I read the newspaper and they told me they were indicting me. So that's when I had to get a lawyer and start, you know, fighting this case of me going to court, like, you know, back and forth. And at this time, you know, I'm trying to work out, get my legs. I couldn't even move. At this time, I'm probably like moving my ankles.

It's just like, you know, little things. I'm doing this little therapy. Try to work myself up. But at the same time, I got over my head, like, oh, you could be going to prison. But before I realized, like, you know, the, how much my, my, can't you think, how much it was before I was going to go to prison. Who, excuse me. They were like, I thought I was going to get like five years because I thought it was going to be,

that man slaughter. Like, you know, I thought, I'm like, yo, at this time I was, yeah, like 30. And I was like, I can't be in prison for five years. Like, I'll be 35 when I get out. Like, a lot of things are going to happen. You know, my mom, I got my dad. You know, they're getting older. Like, you know, what's going to happen? Like, I can't, you know, serve time.

But they end up serving me with a four-year sentence of a violation of public health and safety. And I went to prison in the wheelchair. Wait, they can give you four-year sentence for a misdemeanor? Violation of public health and safety. That was the main,

the main violation that, that stuck. So it's like. And you pled guilty to that? Yeah, I just end up pleading guilty because I'm just like, at this point, I was just like, I want to get it over. Like, I don't, I don't know,

I don't know what to do. Like. Looking back on it now, do you wish you went to trial? No. Because the four-year sentence, it ended up being a four flat. So my days would trickle down. Like every month, you would get like seven days off.

So I end up having to do like a year before I end up, you know, coming home. But I had to, you know, go to the parole board. So they always say like, you know, when you got a flat number, you go to parole board, like they kind of hard on flat numbers and this is and that. And I'm like, well, I haven't done nothing in prison. So I should, you know, I should be, should be all right. But, I mean, it was a tough, it was a tough situation going from being a correctional officer to now going in the only female's prison in the state of New Jersey. And having a traumatic accident.

And in the wheelchair. Sorry to interrupt today's episode, guys, but I need to tell you about, our sponsor, Factor. Warmer, sunnier days are calling. You can fuel up for them with factors no prep, no mess meals. Meet your wellness goals in time for summer thanks to the menu of chef-crafted meals with options like calorie smart, protein plus, and keto.

Factors fresh, never-frozen meals are dietitian approved and ready to eat in just two minutes. So no matter how busy you are, you'll always have time to enjoy nutritious, great-tasting meals. Make today the day you kickstart a new healthy routine. So what are you waiting for? Use code locked in 50 at factormeals.com slash locked in 50 to get 50% off your first box. And plus, there's always a plus, 20% off your next month.

I love Factor. I swear by Factor. I order their meals weekly and it saves me so much time and it makes it way easier to navigate the kitchen. so I'm not throwing around pots and pans, making it all dirty on top of my already busy day. All I have to do is open the fridge, pull out my favorite factor meal, throw that in the microwave,

and in just two minutes it's ready to go. Sometimes I even take it with me on the run and eat it in the car on the way. I can't get over how good factor meals are, and I really encourage you guys to give them a try. With 35 different meals and more than 60 add-ons to choose from every week, you're always going to have new flavors to explore.

Crush your wellness goals this May with dietitian-approved meals and ingredients you can trust. From breakfast to dessert, stay fueled with easy, nutritious options that make your day delicious. You could treat yourself to restaurant quality meals featuring premium ingredients like filet mignon, shrimp, and black and salmon. Head to FactorMeals.com slash Lockedin 50

and use code locked in 50 to get 50% off your first. box plus 20% off your next month. That's code locked in 50 at factormeals.com slash locked in 50 to get 50% off your first box plus 20% off your next month while your subscription is active. Thank you so much to Factor for sponsoring today's episode and giving our listeners an exclusive discount so they can go get healthy and try Factor Meals. Now let's get back into this episode. So when you had that accident, you couldn't even feel any pain if you were asking them what was going on and happening? I did not know. I had no idea. I remember. Anything I remember is laying on my stomach and trying to like turn around and like, you know, yo, what are y'all doing? Like, I'm just trying to get the work.

But I've realized, like, I can't get up, but it's not, everything's not registering in my head. I'm just like, y'all taking too long. Like, what is all these ambulance coming for? Like, I'm just trying to get the work. Can you all call my job? I call my parents and tell them that I was in a car. Like, everything was just going, and I was still, like, aware until I got in the helicopter, and then that's when I, like, kind of blacked out. But other than that, I had no idea that my legs were definitely going to be in the situation that I was in. So it was, so one thing that, so when the doctor had ended up doing all those surgeries that he did, he didn't like, he didn't like what he was doing.

So he went up having me come back, and he wanted to do something called a distal femo replacement. So he wanted to take all the bone out my legs and see if that would work. So now I just had a whole metal piece, fake knee, you know, fake tibia, like all connected together to see if it would work. And it was a success. So he was like, okay, we're going to do the other leg too. So we did the other leg. That was a success. so now both of my legs are

both of my legs are metal as you know as bone that's how I don't have any bone I just I just have metal walk to metal detectors you know what goes off I'm like you know yeah it's in my legs

it's okay but the doctor end up like I said he had to do like 32 33 surgeries before he end up getting to this to discover that you know that he was going to do something like this

for me to be able to walk and I'm like okay at this time I'm like all right this is my last chance I'm like so if this doesn't work, then I'm not going to have no legs. I'm like, but this is going to work because we've been going through this from 32 to 35 at this point. Like I'm trying to, you know, learn and walk. And then, you know, I got all these surgeries and it was some setbacks in there with, you know, infections and everything.

And trying to just keep moving. And then, you know, they popped me, send me to jail, got an infection in prison. You know, prison is dirty. Got an infection in prison. and I was in prison, okay, I was in prison for 20, they sent me the first time, and I was in there for about 22 days, and I got an infection, and then they sent me home. So I can get my, like, I thought they were sending me home, so I wasn't going back, because they could see that, like, they couldn't take care of me.

They didn't have the medication. They didn't, they didn't know, like, what they were doing. None of the hospitals up there wanted me. They looked at my, they looked at my documents, like, wherever she came from, send her back. Both hospitals rejected me. Send her back. We don't want that. So the doctors in the prison finally was like, yeah, we're going to ship her to the hospital.

They shipped me down to Camden. Camden was trying to take my leg off. One of the CEOs was like, nah, you can go ahead and call home, like, call somebody. Like, they see me crying, and they knew I was a former CEO because people were chatting. You know, the guards chat from, they knew different people in different places. They let me call home. I called my sister. like, you know, yo, they try and cut my leg.

Don't let them cut your leg off. Don't let him cut you. Yo, I'm getting you out. I'm getting you out. I'm getting you out. I'm calling the lawyer. I'm getting you out. I'm like, all right, the next day, the lawyer comes in there.

I had the papers, the judge signed. I got signed out of prison. I end up going, you know, back to the hospital. They end up trying to clean my legs out again, clean the legs out. I end up, everything was good. Now COVID hits. And now they want me to come back to court. COVID hits.

So now we do. and now we're doing virtual, you know, on a computer doing that. And then they were like, yeah, you know what? Well, we do know the prison can take care of you. And we have aqua therapy. We'll be able to do this. We'll be able to do that. Yeah, you're going back to prison.

And then they lock me back up again in 2021, January, 2021. During COVID. Or right in the middle of COVID. To finish the remaining year or whatever you're at. Yes. So this is an interesting perspective. a former correctional officer that gets sent to prison, but you're also in a wheelchair too.

That's something I've never heard before. So how do they treat you, I guess, overall, as someone that's handicapped in prison, but also a correctional officer? Well, other than the people that I actually went to the academy with, knew that I was corrections. I never told any inmates in there that I was in corrections now. being in there they don't they don't really have a lot for a handicap women and women's prison they don't have a lot of

a lot of things for like handicapped women so i did do something while i was in there because i was trying to get you know parole and i wanted to take some programs and stuff and i was getting denied because they're like well you can't you're not going to be able to go up the steps so you can't you can't apply for this we don't have we don't have this for you that i'm like Hold on. How am I going to try to sit here and do the right thing? Y'all talking about, you know, being reformed and everything, but y'all denying because I'm in a wheelchair.

Like, that's discrimination. Like, you know, if I'm trying to get myself, I'm trying to do the right thing, per what y'all trying to say, but y'all denying me. So being in prison in the wheelchair, in the females' prison, it was hard because it really wasn't a lot of females in there on wheelchairs. It was only maybe, like, it was two. And they were probably older. Yes, and she was old.

She was old. The inmates never found out you were a correctional officer. They never did. Do you ever, that's lucky because in most cases, one of the guards or correctional officers will tell. One day, though, my bonky came to me and was like, yo, you know, one of the guards, so I don't remember the name. It was like, said you was a correctional officer before. I'm like, who? They said the name.

I really don't remember. And I'm like, I don't even know who this guard is. I'm like, she wasn't even in my class. I'm like, in my head, I'm like, why would she do that? That's messy. So my bunky, like, yo, was you a correctional officer? I was like, what did I tell you? She's like, you said you worked for the state and stuff

and like you was a teacher. I was like, all right then. Like, I just kept it out and tried to like, you know, breathe through it because it's like, you know, in prison, you can't really lie because they're going to, you got to kind of stand on your word type thing. So I'm like, you know, I didn't technically lie. I just didn't say that part of the story. Do you think that they would have hurt you, though, if they found out because you were a handicapped?

Like, there might not have been repercussions. I'm not sure because, you know, being in a female prison, they was, it's a lot. It was, being in there was rougher than me watching, you know, the males. Maybe because we are emotional or something, but they were, the women was in there fighting male guards and that for less. Over what? Because it was Tuesday. And they're fighting a man. a male guard.

Male guard, jumping male guards, girlfriends and stuff. Like, because, oh, you said something to my girl, like, hitting, it was, it was ruthless in there. So what happens in those situations where a female inmate hits a male guard? Are they assaulting the female inmate? Are they, like? No, they called, you know, they called, you know, all the guards in,

and everybody got to lock down. Everybody got to go to their cell and, and stand on your, sit on your stomach and, you know, and what's crazy is, Because that was hard for me. Like, you know, you got a lady. I'm like, I can't. I'm like, it's hard for me to lay on my stomach. Like, I'm in this situation.

Like, how I'm going to lay on my stomach? But, you know, they don't care. They don't care. How do searches work for you? Do you still have to strip, search, squat, and cough when you're in the wheelchair? Yes, I did. But you had no mobility in your legs, did you? So I had some mobility, so they would have to, like, you know, kind of help me up and hold me up.

so I can do that and that was like so embarrassing. That was embarrassing. Like I hate it because every time I would go out to go do, you know, my therapy, I would have to do that. So they would have to strip search me going out, strip search me coming in. And, you know, yeah, like being in the wheelchair and the therapy that I end up going to was a therapy that I was going to when I was home. So they end up getting me that aqua therapy.

So it was crazy because like I'm seeing my therapist in there and they're helping me. but I'm in like cuffs and stuff, and they're seeing me in this whole different form. They used to see me all jolly coming in there. Like, you know, hey, hey, now they're seeing me, and I'm coming in there. I don't even want them to see the cuffs on me in my head down.

Like, it just took everything from me, just any glow that I had. But I just knew I had to keep working. I'm like, you know what? I'm not going to use this time in vain when I'm in prison. I'm going to work. I'm going to keep working. When I get out, I'm walking out.

I'm like, watch. I'm like, I'm going to show my parents show people. Like, you know, and I work. I kept working and when it was time to come home, October 26, what's crazy is October 26, 2017 was my accident. I got a prison October 26, 2021. Wow. And I walked out. Did you have any moments of like, I don't want to go to therapy because of the process and the emotional and psychological and physical pain of just, you know, because we know what it's like to be transported going through that?

That's why guys say, I'm not going to court or I'll just plead guilty because it's exhaust. It is. To go through that. It is. But you're in a position where you needed that therapy. A part of you needs that therapy to get better. But you're also, it's causing you more pain and suffering just by going to begin with because of your circumstances. But you know what? It was tough because it would wake you up 4.30 and then you might not be leaving until 10. But it was just a joy to get back outside. And I knew what I was in, and my prison is in North Jersey. So when they're driving me and I'm driving to South Jersey, it was just like a breath of fresh air. Like, I didn't even care. I was like, good. I can, I can, I just felt like I was like, and I knew I wasn't going home yet, but I would just keep imagining like,

okay, this is how it's going to be when I leave. Change the scene. Yeah, this is going to be how I leave. Like, I'm going to go home. At least this is like this touching ground at home, which made me feel good. So I was always pretty much, I was ready because I was like, I just want to see South Jersey.

Like, I'm trying to get out of here at the end of the day. Like, yeah. How handicap accessible are these prisons? Are they designed for a handicapped person? Not for women. Okay. Not for women. Did you see it in the men's while you were working?

Yes. The men's have a lot more than the females. And even when I went to the halfway house, I had to stay. It's like two parts. You have to go to somewhere called Bill Robinson, and then you go outside of that. And they didn't have handicap accessibility in the halfway house. So the spot that they had for us to go before we went to halfway house,

I had to stay because they have no handicap accessibility for women. So that's what I'm like, know what, I'm going to, I'm not saying I want women to go to prison or whatever, but like I'm going to do something that helps so they can have some type of handicapped accessibility, God forbid if they do have to go to prison, because it's so uncomfortable not to have that and you, you know, you're in a prison, like not everybody can walk. Not everybody can do this or, or that clearly I couldn't, I was in that circumstance. So I'm like, you know what, I'm going to do something for the females in the prison.

So if they do have to be in there, then at least make it a little comfortable, then in their situation. How are people feeling about your charge because it was an accident where someone died? I mean, they're not looking at you as like a murder or anything like that. What's like the respect level and the dynamics in prison? Is that frowned upon what your crime was? They didn't. Or they might not even have an opinion?

They didn't really. you're talking about the inmates? Yeah, and the correctional officers too. It was a couple of correctional officers that had some things to say, like, oh, it's because I was a CEO, so a couple of those guys, I've heard them say like, oh, well, yeah,

that's the owner and now they're treating you or saying stuff about you because, like, you're an inmate. But, like, I had the group of people that was the CEOs that they actually came and visit me when I was in the hospital and stuff. Like, they knew I wasn't that type of person. They knew, you know, you know, it wasn't like that. So I still had to support from some CEOs that was in there because they all

knew it was an accident. Like it ain't like I was out on a Saturday and I got drunk and knew I had this job and, you know, this career and got in a car accident. Like, no, I was on my way to the job. And y'all checked that there was no drugs or alcohol. Like it was a complete accident. That could happen to anybody at any time. So nobody really, you know, said too much. When you found out someone passed away because of the accident. How'd that make you feel? What was your first thought in your mind? Am I going to jail?

That was my first thought. But I was like, I was like pretty much like, what happened? Like, who is it? Like, it was a shock. Like, oh, shit, I killed somebody? Like, somebody died because of me. Like, in real life, like, it was just,

it was like, it's just hard to process. And it still is. I kind of really don't talk about it. It's crazy that you ask that because it's like, you just put me back in a spot that, like, oh, wow, like, yeah. Because I try not to go there because I know what that was. And even though I know it was an accident, it was still something like, you know, somebody passed because of me.

But it was an accident. You know what I mean? And I'm very, very sorry about that. You know, that was somebody's. dad or grandpa, uncle, friend. He was somebody to somebody, you know, so, and it wasn't intentional. So, like, I feel, I definitely feel, feel bad about it. I've let it go because I had to, you know, to try to live my life,

did not have that, you know, that thought. Like, because I've thought a lot, like, yo, does that make me a murderer? Like, will God forgive me? Like, I had so many thoughts in my mind, crazy thoughts. But I'm like, you know, I had, I had. to let that go because if not that would have been you know held on me so I couldn't try to do what I needed to do to continue my life I was sorry sorry doesn't bring you back but I was very I'm very apologetic about it did you ever get a chance to talk to the family everybody asks that and I never

got a chance to talk to the family I don't even know how how they would feel if they saw me I would see him in a courtroom all the time but I'm sure they felt the way. You know, we never talked, but facial expressions can tell it all, but I've never, I've never meant it. So, you know, it was, I wasn't going into court smiling, you know, I wasn't doing no, none of it, I wasn't taunting or anything. I just was like, you know, I am so sorry for that. I mean, I'm, I'm hurt too, but that doesn't take away. My mom and dad still sees me. They don't see, they don't see their on, or dad or grandpa.

So I get it. It was a bad situation for both of us. You know, my legs being this, my legs being like this, I still know, like, you know, me waking up every day. Like, I know I'm like this because of this. And then that happened too. Like, I had the car accident and somebody died. Like, I wake up with this every day.

So I can't never forget. It's something that I'll never forget. How were your parents handling everything as you were going through this from the accident to the recovery and then to getting arrested? finding their daughter in prison. I mean, that's got to be terrifying for them. My dad

couldn't really handle it at first. So they say, I don't really know because I was like really like medicated when I was in the hospital when it first happened. My mom was the strong one. So going through all this. And I'm my dad's baby girl. So he's like baby girl.

Like, you know, his little pride and joy. So it was like, it was hard for him. My mom, like I said, she was a strong. one and they were both strong. They were, they were both there for me throughout this whole time. They never looked at me different, always encouraged me, always pushed me, you know, and they were upset that their baby was getting snatched to go to prison too. Like, they know, because they know it was an accident. So they didn't, they didn't, you know, leave me. My mom always, you know, telling me about God and, you know, always pushing me and my dad too. So, like, they never, they never changed.

They had my back from day one, from all that I can remember, my parents were there. What about your siblings? Did they come visit you at all? Were they supportive? Yeah, my siblings were supportive. My twin was supportive. My older sister. And yeah, my brother, when he was here, he was supportive.

We have a very supportive family. Even the guy that's sitting out there that's, that he's number one supporter, number one fan. Like, can't say nothing but great. things about them. Like, I have a good, I have a good, great, amazing support system. Like, my support system, I would say, my support system is unmatched. How do you think it would have went for you in prison and just the recovery aspect without a supportive family? Because there's a lot of people that don't have that. Right. And I've seen that in prison and I'm like, I don't know how I could do it. I don't know, I don't know if I could have. I need at least somebody. Because

even in prison, it would get hard at times. Like, because even though you got that support system, but after you talk to them for that 15 minutes on the phone, then that's it. You only talk twice 15 minutes a day. Like, you know what I mean? You got 30 minutes out of a whole 24 hours. You only talk to survive for 30 minutes.

Then now you're in there. That's hard. Yeah. So you, I don't know if I, I don't know if I could meet it. I never thought about it. But when I seen people going home, and they're no signing out to go home and they don't know where they're going. And I'm looking at them like, how don't they know where they go?

Like, wow, because when I sign out, I know where I'm going home. But a lot of people don't have that. And I'm like, wow, I don't know how they do that. I don't know no other life but support. Yeah. Something I've learned in life is that there's always someone that has a worse. So like when you think you're in a horrible position, when you reflect back on it as you're older and more mature, you're like, wow, there's people that have it way worse.

Yes. And you feel for those people. I interviewed a gentleman that had lost his leg because of addiction, you know, a few weeks ago. And he, I'm looking at him and it makes me put my life into perspective about, you know, like, wow, like I've been through a lot. But this man has been through way worse and he still stays positive. Right. And he still keeps going. And he gives energy to others.

Right. So when you were in prison and I'm sure I couldn't even imagine how you. you felt with what you were going through in the pain and your situation, but what was one scenario in prison where you saw someone else had it even worse than you, and that kind of put your life in a perspective? And maybe you didn't even know it at the time, and now that you're reflecting, you know it at the time, or you know it now? Yeah, because one of my bunkeys, I knew when she was going home and then she didn't have anybody and, you know, she was crying and she's been in there for, I think she was in there for like

seven years and now she's going home and she's not going to nobody and I'm like how like how you like so what you're about to do like how are you like I asked her how are you going to make it like now now what like she's like I you know I have to find work and we're going to let me stay in this type of house or whatever whatever and I'm just like whoa I'm like that's okay like try to keep in touch because she was cool she was one of the cool people so I was like okay I'll try to keep in touch But I don't know where she's at now. I don't know. But, yeah, when I see somebody in the worst situation than me,

I don't really, you know, try to compare. Because if I do see somebody in the worst situation, I do try to bring them up because I am about positive energy. So when something seems like it's just about to switch or go bed or I hear something, I try to talk to that person and talk to those people and, you know, try to put some positive light because I don't know because I'm positive. I'm a positive person. It can literally always be worse.

There's always, you know, never judge someone until you walk a mile in their shoes and always kind of think about what those individual shoes are like to wear. Because everyone has a battle the other person doesn't know anything about. Right. And I've, you know, I've thought about that because I'm like, you know, I got down on myself a few times in life, you know, during the situation. I'm like, but you know what needed? Like, but you still got legs.

and you're still here and you're doing all these little things like you're going out here your motivational speaking you're driving a little bit like you're doing all these things that you was riding the bike like you know

I'll be have these little things these little victories that make me know like you know you're progressing so you know I take I just continue to you know take those little victories

until I get to where I got to get to because I could not have legs I could not be here at all but yeah I went through that. But I went through all that. Now to look at it, it's like, you know what, I went through all that for a reason. For somebody else, God, you know, gives us toughest battles to a strongest soldiers. That's what they say. Absolutely. Now, you are someone that, I'm sure, never in a million years expected. They would ever go to prison. I'm sure your family and friends never in a million

years expected that. What was that like when that kind of settled in when you got out, realizing, like, you were in prison? Like, were you shy about it? Were you open to talking about Did you bottle that up? Yeah, at first I wasn't. I wasn't really open about it. It took a little bit, but people that knew me and knew the story and knew the situation, like when they came around to see me, it was just always love, like, because they knew it wasn't meant.

So they was just like, you know, hey, need like, everything, all right? Like, you know what I mean? Pick your head up. Like, you all got to be like that. Like, we all know people was happy to see me. Like, oh, come on. Like, you know, I'm sitting on the porch, chilling because I was still, I was still not even in how I am now.

I was still, and I had a little walker and everything. So, you know, they like, you know, I come get you and we can chill and blah, blah. I'm like, you know, all right. Like, everybody, when I got out, showed love. It wasn't no, like, little whisper. Well, I didn't hear them. But it wasn't no little whispers like, hey, you know, she was in prison, right? Like, it wasn't like that.

And I even went to my class reunion, my 20, what was the 21 years class reunion a couple months ago? and everybody that knew the story that was in our class was like, oh, my God. They were just hugging me because they were like, you're here at our class reunion. Like, De Nita, we would have never thought in a billion years that you would have been one of the people that went to prison. They was like, we would never thought that. But they all showed me, like, people show me love. And I appreciate that because I know I've been through a lot. You know, I know I've been through a lot.

But I just try to keep continuing to push, like, you know, through that at the end. end of the day. What was it like to get behind the wheel for the first time again? I was sweating. I was sweating like I played a game of 35. My hands was sweating. My head was sweating. I was only going up the street. But it was, I was real nervous and still right now and I get nervous, especially like if I'm driving one way and I see the car coming like the way my accident is, I get nervous. Or when people are about to pass a car, it's like my breath stops. Like, And I know there's no cars coming in it. And everything is clear, but it still gives me this type of anxiety.

Like, you about the past? Like, all right, all right, all right. Like, just wait, wait, wait, wait, all right, go, go. Like, you know, but everything, everything is coming, you know, slowly but surely. I'm going to get, I'm going to get back to, this is my new norm. But I'm going to get back to, I'm going to get back to the norm. Now, you know, nearly 10 years ago, you were very convinced that a correctional officer was your career choice. And that was your purpose.

Thanks, yours too. What does RAV stand for anyway? To me, it's the remarkably advanced vehicle. Really? To me, it's the runway approved vehicle for its amazing style. What about remarkably adaptable vehicle because of its versatile cargo space? Or really admired vehicle? Oh, or really awesome vehicle. It really is the recreational activity vehicle.

The stylish 2026 Toyota Rav4 Limited. What's your Rav for? Looking to start 2026 with an unforgettable get-a-wit-a-wit-wit-a-wit-wit-wit-a-old. Fiji Airways sale is on now. Fly nonstop round trip to Fiji from just 748. Or enjoy a sunny Fiji stopover on your way to Australia with round trip fairs starting from 839. As a one world alliance member and American Airlines Advantage program partner, your miles go further across the South Pacific. Book now at Fiji Airways.com or contact your local travel agent.

Conditions apply. Office in life and that's what you're going to do. What do you think now? I never thought that was my purpose. I just was doing that to pay the bills and it was going to be a career move and good money. But you mentioned about seeing it through and retiring at 60 with it. Yeah, but I didn't feel like that was my purpose. My purpose is I always wanted to do, you know, I always wanted to do motivational speaking and broadcasting.

I just never per se had a story. I never had a way to tap into that. It does take a story to tap in. Right. And then all of a sudden this happens. and, you know, now I'm disabled and have a story. So guess what? Now I'm living my purpose.

That was just my career. This is what I feel like is my purpose. Like, I can do this forever. Like, I love this. You know, I know what I've been through. I love to talk to people, you know. People don't, like, if people see us, they wouldn't say like, oh, y'all want the prison?

Never. I get that all the time. And I'm like, say if I'm in the story and I'm telling my story, I'm doing some people like, you was in prison? Like, yeah. I was at the airport last week and they tried to stop me to do TSA pre-check. I was like, I don't think I can yet. I'm a felon there. The woman looks at me.

She's like, oh, you don't look like a felon. Right, right. I'm like, yo, and I say that to myself sometimes, like, I'll be sitting there and I'll be like, yo, I am a felon. I'm like, yo, I am a felon. like that that still that still doesn't register to me like i remember i tried to apply for a little like daycare job and it's the little check box and you always see them on the movies like are you a fel and yes and no check i remember i had to check it and i'm like i don't want to check this i'm like well i'm gonna check it and i'm gonna put it in

i ain't even a call back but at least i tried i was like you know but that feeling isn't that feeling isn't a good feeling like you forget because you're doing all these great things and then that felon, that felon thing will slap you right on the back like, oh, you know you, I'm like, oh, yeah. Has that feeling subsided and gone away for you? Because I know for me, I was always very, you know, didn't want to check that box. And I felt bad about it. Now I'm proud to check that box. Now that doesn't bother me at all. I will be the first person. I mean, I do it for a living. But I will shout it from the rooftops that I'm a felon. You know, what are some words from you that have helped you? get over that hump if you have been able to get over the hump. Well, I only did that application, that type of application one time. But I'm not afraid to tell my story, afraid to tell people, you know, I've been a felon or showing my legs, show them, you know, my disability because it actually made me stronger

mentally, physically and spiritually. So, you know, that part of my life that happened on October 26th, 2017, that Danita is like no longer. She's not even the same person as she is talking to you right now. So yeah, like I'm proud of everything. Like I'm not ashamed of anything that I went through. What do you do now? What's your life look like now?

I go and speak on different podcasts and tell them stories, telling my story. And I do motivational speaking. I speak in schools or people, you know, want me to talk at empowerment events and they'll hit me up to speak about my story there. I'm currently writing a book about my situation. So that's what I got in the works. And do you have to work full-time or do you get disability? Yes, I get disability. Yes, I get disability.

Do you have a family that you'd, husband, boyfriend, kids, anything like that? No, I am single. looking at camera single. Now, I'm single. I don't have any kids. nieces and nephews, they're my kids. So I'll tell the men to hit you up on Instagram. Denita Applebaum, Need a Strong.

Applebaum. That's my name. Danita Applebaum. That's such a great last name. Holy cow. What's your middle name? Danita Renee. Danita Renee Applebaum.

No, that's not my last name. Oh, you said Applebaum. No, that was my Instagram name. Oh, I would say that's such a sick last name. That's my Instagram name. Did you get Applebaum? Because of the song. But you ever heard the song?

I think it's, I forget who's saying, but Benita Applebaum, she really turned me on. Mm-mm. Well, that's why I changed it to Danita Applebaum. There it is. Okay, okay. Yeah, that's obvious. Are you still close with your parents and siblings today? Yes.

I live with my parents. I still currently live with my parents. and I have my two sisters my twin sister and my younger sister my twin sister and my older sister and we all are pretty close-knit family yeah we're pretty we're all right what do you think is next for you I know you said you're working on the book but where do you want to see your journey go after this

I see myself speaking on a big stage a big stage like that's just like as far like you know I'm going to speak on a big stage, telling my story, motivating people, be one of the, it's a lot of great motivational speakers, but be one of those in that type of platform, of encouraging people and letting people know, you know, this isn't the end. Like, you can do it. And it sounds so cliche, and it does until you realize, until you're in that situation and do it.

And then you be like, yo, you can do anything you put your mind to. And I hate it when people used to say that. like, oh, whatever, you're just saying it because you're rich and famous. But you really can, but when you're in a situation to do it, you realize like, you can really do anything you put your mind to. Yeah. What advice would you give to someone that has suffered a traumatic experience like you and maybe even found themselves in prison or is overcoming addiction?

What advice would you tell them after everything you've lived through and experienced? Trust in God is always mind over matter. and if you want to, and if you really want to do something, you're going to do it. Because at the end of the day, people do what they want to do. Like, you know how you say you have these addictions and stuff. You're doing it because you want to do it or you can't, you can't, you can't stop, but you can't stop.

But if you want to stop, you can't stop because you can get help. But you do whatever you want to do. You can control, you know, different things that you want to do. but, you know, continue to trust in God and you got to keep pushing. I always say God first. God first and everything else for me will fall into place.

What would you tell your teenage self? What advice would you give to her if you could sit with your 18-year-old self in a room right now? Hmm. De Nide. You had it. You always had it.

You just didn't know that you had it. Because at one point I was never confident. I don't think I was. was as, you know, strong mentally. But now it's like I'm a little confident. I do have this disability in it, and it takes a little bit. But now I'm a little more confident. And the fact that I overcame this and then overcame prison,

and it could sound a little cocky, but I'm not. I'm like, I can do anything. I just would have never thought. But, like, I can, I can, De Nita, you had it. You always had it. You just didn't know. I knew, but you just didn't know. You just need a little confidence.

Yeah. And you are able to walk now, too. Yes, I walk with a cane. It got his days. It's challenging, but yeah, I got my... It's a very stylish scene. My dad saw it out there, liked it. That's awesome.

Will you ever be able to walk without a cane, or will you use that for the rest of your life? I'm trying not to. I'm trying to push to where I'll never have to walk with a cane. I've walked around, like, in my comfort zone, like in a house and stuff, I walk around and, you know, may grab stuff, but I want to, like, go outside and literally not have to,

to walk with the game, but my balance is kind of, kind of off. But it's still a progress. I ain't give up yet. Yeah, you're very competitive, ambitious. Do you sometimes have to tell yourself, hey, just tune it down a notch. Yeah. You've come so far. They said you wouldn't walk and now here you are, you know.

Sometimes you have to just take that deep breath and just let yourself relax. You do. You do. You do. And I will. I will end. Yeah, I got faith in you. You've come this far.

Thank you. I appreciate. Of course. Well, Danita, thank you for coming and thank you for the gifts and thank you for sharing your incredibly inspiring story. Thank you. And hopefully it motivates and inspires someone to our listeners to us. Yes, I hope so. And I'm sure individuals will be able to find it relatable and that they're not alone in their pain and suffering. And that if you can overcome something like that, what happened to you, then that could give them a little bit of hope and light too. Yes, I hope it does. There's always that light at the end of the tunnel.

Always a light at the end of the tunnel. Absolutely. One step at a time. That's it. Yeah. Safe travels back to New Jersey. Thank you. I appreciate it.