Locked In with Ian Bick - I Was a Texas Meth Dealer — Then I Got 20 Years in Federal Prison | Tara Perry

Episode Date: July 29, 2026

Tara Perry grew up in Texas with her father out of the picture, raised by her mother and grandparents in a family where functioning addiction was just part of daily life — which is how she first got exposed to meth as a teenager and started using at just 13 years old. In this episode of Locked In with Ian Bick, she shares how she dropped out of school in ninth grade, had her first child at 16, spent six months in state prison before a five year sentence in the Texas Department of Corrections before she was even 20 years old, and stayed hooked on meth from age 13 all the way to 26 — always managing to get sober inside jail or prison before the cycle started again on the outside. She opens up about eventually starting to sell meth, getting connected to a major organization, having multiple children while in and out of addiction, and what happened when someone close to her snitched and the DEA came knocking. She was sentenced to 20 years in federal prison — and spent seven of those years inside a Texas federal facility before Donald Trump pardoned her on the last day of his first term.  _____________________________________________ #prison #addictionrecovery #truecrimecommunity  _____________________________________________ Connect with Tara Perry: https://www.instagram.com/princesstara.3313/  _____________________________________________ Hosted, Executive Produced & Edited By Ian Bick: https://www.instagram.com/ian_bick/?hl=en https://ianbick.com/ _____________________________________________ Timestamps: 00:00 Introduction and Early Life 03:50 Childhood, Family & Identity 09:50 First Exposure to Drugs 16:00 Teenage Drug Use & Relationships 23:00 First Criminal Charges & Jail Experience 31:30 Life After First Incarceration 39:00 Motherhood and Continued Addiction 47:00 Second Prison Sentence & Having a Baby in Jail 55:30 Release, Relapse, and Escalating Drug Trade 01:03:30 DEA Bust and Facing Federal Charges 01:10:00 Sentencing and Time in Federal Prison 01:18:00 Life, Change, and Purpose in Prison 01:29:00 Clemency and Life After Prison 01:36:00 Growth, Healing, and Closing Reflections  _____________________________________________ To advertise on the show, contact [e-mail] or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/LockedInWithIanBicka

My guest today is Tara Perry. By the time she was 20, she had already served a sentence in the Texas Department of Corrections. And not too long after that, she got a 20-year sentence after she got busted by the DEA for selling math. I grew up in Fort Worth, Texas, well, Dallas, Texas area. Really kind of grew up all over the Metroplex, never really left Texas. What was your upbringing like? It was good. I didn't really have like a bad childhood.

It was just kind of me and my mom. I didn't have my dad in my life. That was the only thing. But I have cousins and grandma and all that stuff. So it was good. Had a good upbringing. Where was your dad? So my dad was in my life until I was about three.

And then he was out of my life, kind of left out of my life. So yeah, I didn't grow up without a father. What did your mom do for work? She worked at Southwest Airlines. And then she worked, gosh. like call center like just southwest airlines is all i can remember pretty much she worked there for a long time how would you describe uh your family financially growing up um we were not we didn't have a lot of money um we used to like kind of live you know like we lived with my my grandma and lived with my grandpa and

then um we got our own apartment my mom and us um so it was kind of back and forth sometimes we weren't definitely not rich um but we weren't like i didn't lack for anything you know i had everything i needed but yeah, we were not wealthy at all. Were you close with your mother growing up? Yes, yes. We were, I was best friends pretty much. It's always been more of a, like a best friend relationship, kind of more than a, you know, like mother-daughter relationship.

Do you think that's a positive or a negative? I think it can be a positive, but in a lot of ways I wish I would have had a little bit more discipline and been made to do things that I, you know, like sometimes I got my way and didn't go to school or whatever. And I do wish that I had had more discipline. How were you as a kid? How would your best friend have described yourself? I didn't have a best friend. So I was really like to myself. I kind of had my own imagination world. I watched like movies. I knew every line to every movie you could possibly think of. I kind of stayed in myself. Like when I was little little, I used to like carry around a bag of

cars. My mom would just take me to her friend's house or whatever and they would, you know, do whatever, I'd just be on the floor playing with cars. So I didn't really, maybe if I had to guess one word, one or two friends that I had, maybe bossy, I guess, because like when we played school, it had to be my way. You gotta sit here, you have to do this. So I guess maybe a little bossy. What was your favorite movie? Oh, God, younger, labyrinth. What was that about? Oh, my God, you've never seen Labyrinth. Is that like a mummy movie or no? No. So it's about this girl that there's a goblin king and it's about this girl that wishes her brother would go away and like he actually goes away into the goblin world it's like kind of like a muppet movie but he goes

away and so she has to go and save him and from the goblin king but I knew every word I used to act it out I know I mean like I'm definitely an actress and a singer so I used to act it all out now why that movie did it relate to your life at all or is it something that you you saw similarity to because I lived in, I lived, I lived, I lived in kind of fantasy, you know, my, in my mind. So it kind of appealed to me. Tombstone was also a good one. But I mean, I watched horror movies when I was like three or four, too. So there's a lot of movies.

Now, was theater something you wanted to get into as a career? I did. I wanted to be a singer and an actress. So I started singing at a very young age and acting. And I went to theater school and I did plays. I was like, what, 10, 11, I think. But yeah, so I always wanted to be a singer and an actress. Did kids bully you for that?

No, not really for that. What they did bully me for is I'm half black, half white. So like whenever we moved in with my grandma, it was in all white school pretty much. So I never really fit in anywhere back then. So because I was always, you know, too white or, you know, too black for the white kids and not black. enough for the black kids and I just didn't really kind of fit in anywhere. So that's kind of what I got bullied for. Did you understand kind of your background and culture? No. I didn't grow up with my dad side of the family. So I just grew up with the, you know, white side. So I didn't really ever get to

experience the culture or really, you know, dive too much into that. How did it make you feel that kids would pick on you for that? Um, hurt. I didn't understand. I was, and all my cousins and stuff had like blonde hair, blue eyes. So I always wanted to be, I was never happy with my myself, right? I always wanted to change something. My hair was too curly. It was dark. Theirs was blonde, blue eyes. I didn't like my brown eyes. I didn't like my, you know, skin, I just never really liked myself. Did you end up going to high school? I did go to high school. I did drop out in ninth grade. I didn't really hardly ever go to school. I hated school. And like I said, my mom was kind of like my best friend. She, you know, you don't have to go if you don't want to go.

So I ended up dropping out in ninth grade. Do you think if you stayed in school your life would have turned out differently? Yes. Would you say that's one of the regrets you may have had in life? Yes. It might have turned out differently. It's hard to say because at that point I was already doing drugs. But I wish I would have graduated.

I wish I would have stayed in school. But at that point, like I said, I was already doing drugs. How old are you when you started using? First time I smoked pot was when I was, what, 11, 12? and then first time I did meth was 13. How'd you get in the pot? So I had a really hard time. I had a surgery that went pretty bad.

I reconstruct, I was a breast surgery that went bad when I was younger. And I got really depressed. And a lot of things happened. I gained a lot of weight. And I just kind of wanted to commit suicide. I didn't want to live anymore. So I had to go to the mental hospital.

hospital. And then after I got out of the mental hospital, I went up to Georgia with my family up there. They were, my cousins were like, what, 16, 17, I think. And they took me with them and their friends to a party and I smoked some weed. And I was like, oh, yeah. This is, this is what's up? This makes me feel good, you know? So that's when I started smoking weed. Now, what was society's look, I guess you would say on weed in your community at that time? I wasn't as accepted as it is now, for sure. And what years were this that you first tried it? 1997.

Okay. So late 90s? Yeah. And how did you get into meth? So when I came back from Georgia, I was smoking weed. And my mom kind of saw how, like, me, my mom didn't really accept it, but she was like, okay, my daughter just like tried to die, you know, wanted to kill herself. And this makes her happy as long as she's in my, you know, under my roof, whatever. Um, what I didn't mention about my family,

though, is that, um, I didn't know this at the time or growing up, but pretty much my whole family used drugs. Um, so it was kind of like, you know, I guess maybe that's why it was a little more, a little bit more accepted. Um, so when I came back and I was smoking weed for a while, and, and, And I went into, we were, I was just at the house and I went into a room with family members in there. And they were smoking something out of like a glass, you know, some kind of glass thing. And I'm like, I was like, what is that? And they told me what it was. And I was like, well, I want some, you know. And they didn't want to at first. But I'm pretty persuasive, I guess. And they just, you know, it was just kind of a different family dynamic. So I didn't get told no. And so they gave me, you know, my first. puff of methamphetamine. And after that, it was game over. What was that feeling it did for you? Oh, God. Euphoria.

Plus, like, I was overweight, and then I was staying up all night and singing and doing my thing, and I wasn't eating, and I lost a lot of weight. And so my confidence was sky high, you know, because I lost all this weight. And, but every day, pretty much after that, like, I was smoking meth, doing meth. I would go to school high. I would, like pop capsules, you know, every day after that. Were there other kids your age doing it? Yes, actually. When I grew up in, I went to Louisville High School and had a group of friends and they were

already doing it. Now I kind of introduced them to some actually good stuff. And they were smoking on like tinfoil and stuff. And so I introduced them to the glass. But yeah, there were some kids already doing it. Yeah. I just kind of got them a little bit more. into it. Now, did they come from similar backgrounds too, where they had some type of trauma in their lives?

So the common denominator was kind of the parental thing. My friends back then, their parents were very loose with their parenting, I guess. That was the kind of common denominator. Like I would go over to my friend's house and her mom would always, she would never be there. She'd just be like, oh, here's, you know, here's the money and just do whatever, you know, here's the money, get you some pizza or whatever. So there wasn't a lot of parental. There was just, it was the parental factor, I think, that we had in common. How did you find out about your family's drug use? By walking in on them and seeing them do that. We never knew, like the kids, we never really knew. We would always be, they would always, like, you know, we would always be up playing car. They

would be playing cards and dominoes and, you know, drinking and stuff like that. But we had really no idea that, you know, anything else was going on. So, but like my aunt, you know, my aunt, she was cool with her kids smoking wheat, you know, whatever. So it was kind of like always accepted, but we had no idea that they were doing meth or anything like that until that night. But even the full extent of it, other family members and kind of like your family line, would that come later? Yeah, that came after that. Like my, I don't know, bad enough of my grandma, but like my, you know, my grandma, honestly, the only person in my family that didn't use drugs was my grandmother. Do you think if you knew the full extent of your family's use, that would have avoided you to do it?

No, because they all held jobs and they all went to work and they all, they weren't what you would call normal, you know, I guess like normal meth users. Like they didn't, they weren't like selling it or, you know, they just, they kind of, it was more like recreational a lot. And they just, I mean, they just stayed up late at night and partying. And like, I guess even for a while,

I don't think, I think, like, even for a while, my mom, she was kind of like a weekend warrior type thing. But she went to work every day, you know,

and she took care of me. And she, like, so no, I don't know. It's just different. Did you know what a drug addict was at the time? No.

I had no idea. I had never grown up around, you know, drug addicts. So I did not know at that time. So now you leave high school. What happens next? So I left high school and was still using meth and trying other things. You know, I tried, you know, cocaine. I tried heroin pills. I just tried every drug pretty much under the sun. But when I was about 16, I had met a guy like, because we used to go, you know, party or whatever. And, And I had met a guy, a much, much older man who was in a band.

And he kind of groomed me, I guess you could say. And we got into a relationship. So I ended up getting pregnant at 16. And how old was he? He was in his 40s. Oh, wow. Yeah. And what did your parents think or your mom think of that relationship?

At that point, I was pretty much rebelled to the point where, like, you can't tell me what to do anymore. You know, I've already, I'm doing, like, at that point, I was already rebelled. I was pretty much, you can't tell me what to do anymore. You can't, I'm going to do what I want to do, you know. So that's kind of what my attitude was. So she really didn't have much control over me at that point. Was there anyone around you that was trying to say that's not the, the right thing to do? She did.

I mean, she did. She, you know, she did, but I was like, I'm not listening to you. but you'd be surprised at how many people didn't think that it was, there was something wrong with that. Is it because they didn't know his age or? No, they knew his age. Yeah, they knew his age. There was a whole,

he had a whole band. It was like a whole group of people, you know, that, and I don't, nobody ever said anything to me if they did think it was wrong, but we used to hang out at his house all the time with the band members. And I mean, my mom was dating one of the other band members. And so, but, you know, nobody really. I don't remember anybody thinking anything was wrong.

The one time I do remember it being wrong was, or the police actually ended up busting it into his house, and I wasn't in his bed at the time I was hanging out with his son and his girlfriend in the other room doing drugs. And if the police would have came in and caught me in his bed, of course, that would have been a different story. But yeah. Why did the police come that night?

They raided his house because he had some guy that was living with him was like selling drugs or making drugs and or you know he was under investigation and so they came in for his roommate actually but yeah and how are you supporting yourself at this time um drug sale like other people or you know i hadn't really got into selling selling drugs at that at that point in time not when i was 16 what happens once you have the baby does the guy stick around or um he was not really around um he was not really around um And honestly, my mom raised my daughter for me. I was not ready to be a parent at that time.

So she, and I met another guy, of course, but that was age appropriate. Felt madly in love with him. And so it was kind of me and him. But so my mom raised my daughter. And you're still using drugs throughout this time period? Yes. Unfortunately, I used drugs throughout the entire time. I was pregnant and everything.

But even after you had the baby. Yeah. Yeah. What happens next? So what happens next is I get with this guy, another guy, a much younger guy, but I fall head over heels in love with him and kind of follow him. And that's kind of whenever I started my, he kind of took care of us, but that's when I, he would sell. So I kind of would, that's when I kind of figured out or started seeing how to sell it. And he would, you know, steal checks and things like that.

So my first encounter with kind of criminal stuff is he stole some checks from a friend of ours house. They were her mothers. And they were female checks. And so I was the female. So I had to write them. I wrote them at 7-Eleven for like cigarettes and gas, right? And at the time.

And I had the checks in my purse. And so whenever we were like we were driving somewhere one night and I had a pipe on me and I had the checks in my purse, we got pulled over. So he, I was 18, yeah, I was 18 at the time. And he had, you know, dope and everything. So he got arrested. They found the checks in my purse. They had been called in.

So they put two and two together and said they arrested me for my pipe, but then connected me to the checks as well. So I was 18 and got forgery charge. So that was my first time getting a felony charge. And do you go to jail for that? Yeah. I went, yeah. Well, I went to jail and it was the,

I was so young. That was my mugshot and my first mug shot. And I was terrified. Terrified. I mean, you know, it's Denton County Jail in Texas and it's cold. And there's women in there that are just like talking themselves and so weird. And I was so high and so tired. And you have to use like the toilet paper rolls to like lay down to sleep. They keep you in there for 72 hours. I had to pee in front of people. And it was. It was bad. I didn't stay in there for long. I did get bonded out that time. But yeah, that should have been enough to kept me from doing anything else my entire life. That was very traumatizing. Were there any older woman that approached you to try to give you the game or tell you how to handle yourself in there? Not really. I can't remember her. Not at that point. No.

Not at that short time. Because I wasn't in there. I mean, I maybe was in there for the 72 hours. And then I did get, oh yeah, I did get sent back to a unit. It was this little trailer unit and there were some older women in there, but my family got me out pretty fast after that. Now, you said cold. Was there AC in these jails? Oh, yeah, there was. Yeah. In the county jail, Denton County Jail used to be like you could smoke cigarettes in there.

Yeah, Denton County jail used to be. That was the place you wanted to be locked up before you had to go to court for sure. You got in trouble was Dent County. Now, were there any sheriffs or, you know, officers that were trying to, you know, maybe look after you or give you advice or help you get on the right track at that point? There were, there was a lady there. I can't remember her name, but she was an officer and she was so sweet and very kind to me. And she just, she did tell me like, you know, you don't want to go down this road, you know, yada, yada, yada. As we were kind of walking towards the, you know, the trailer where I was going to have to be. But like I said, I was there for such a short time that it was.

But she did. She did give me a little talk, yeah. Why do you think that wasn't your wake-up call having that experience? I don't know, because I guess, well, it wasn't enough time, really. And I mean, it was scary. It should have been a wake-up call, but I loved meth. I loved being high. I don't think there was anything at that point that it could have stopped me.

Plus, my boyfriend, you know, I was madly in love with him, and he was like everything, even though he was cheating on me, you know, and all his stuff. but I got right out and started doing it again. What did your mom have to say about your arrest? She was disappointed. I mean, she was, you know, she was, she didn't have any felonies or anything at that point. She never really, like I said, they never really lived that kind of lifestyle up until, you know, a certain point. So what happens once you get released?

I get released. I go back to home and I start using again and my boyfriend gets out and we go back to our. our lives, our crazy, crazy lives. I mean, and then at that point, in between then, it got, it gets really bad, like, in between that point and then to a certain point, um, life got really bad and really crazy. Was there a large amount of overdoses at that time or? No. Not on that, no.

Now, you said life gets really crazy. What happens? So I learned a lot about the criminal, uh, side of things. pretty much we terrorized Louisville, Texas at that time. Gas runs where we would like, you know, go steal gas and just kind of drive off. They had no idea about anything like that. I had met up of the drug dealer that, you know, used to go steal trailers. I used to, I won't say his name, but his nickname was Mucker.

And so he used to steal things. And so kind of just taught me about like doing all that. And life just got really crazy. Like we just tore Louisville up. Pretty bad. And do you start getting into more drug sales at this time? Yes. Started getting into smaller, you know,

little small drug sales. We used to stand hotels. We didn't really have a place to live. So just enough to kind of get high and keep a hotel room. But the crowd in Louisville at that time, the drug crowd, I really got immersed into the drug crowd at that time. Was it always just meth? That was the main.

That was always the main. I really liked pills. Like I said, I had snorted cocaine, didn't like it because you kept having to do it. And it just kind of made me angry. I smoked crack. I tried heroin. I snorted heroin. I did not like that because it made me go to sleep and I like to be awake. I shot meth for like three months. I got caught in fever. And so I never did that again. But it was always the meth, every day, the meth. And were you considered the youngest to be in that, I guess, drug environment? Or was it common for people your age to be involved in that life? No, I was the youngest in that circle for sure. What happened to all the people you were around in high school and just anyone that you might have even considered a friend? So they never got into selling drugs.

They were just always kind of the drug doers. And I maintained contact with some of them. and we would hang out or whatever, but they never really, once I kind of got really deep into the whole criminal world, they never, I didn't really have much contact with them anymore. So what happens to the forgery charge? Do you get caught again for something else first? Or do you go to jail for that? So I also met another friend that taught me how to steal mail. So we would go to mailboxes and we would steal mail and get credit cards, very easy to get

credit cards in the mail back then. And so I ended up using the credit cards, getting the credit cards and using them at a store. So I got caught. I was on camera doing that. So I got the forgery charge, two credit card or two credit card abuse charges. And then me and my, me and my mom used to do what they would call stab and grabs, where you would like, go into it, not stab somebody, but like where you would go into a store and you would like fill up a bag of stuff and you'd have a car waiting outside and we would like run out with all the stuff

in the bag and jump into the car and leave. So the other thing that the drug dealer that I had met in Louisville taught me was, well, not to steal cars myself, but we used to drive around and stolen vehicles. So one time when we did the stab and grab, I had gotten, an unauthorized use of a motor vehicle charged because it was a stolen vehicle. So I racked up all those charges like in a matter of I would go, I would get locked up, I would get bonded out, I would go to court. But so by the time I finally went to court for all those charges, the judge in Denton County was like, man, you're a one woman crime spree.

And if I ever see you in my court again, then I'm going to sentence you to a lot of time. So the first, oh, no, I'm so sorry. The first time I got six months state jail. God, I'm getting ahead of myself. The first time I got six months stay jail. I was in state jail for in Dawson State Jail, which is God-awful stay jail for six months. And then I got out. And then I got all these other charges and I got more time in TDC.

How old were you when you did the six-month stay? I was about 19. I was like 18 or 19. What was your experience there? Terrible. It was, it's like a 10, it was like a 10 story building. There was air conditioner, of course, but it was 10 story building. You're in a, in a room probably about as big as this room is, and you've got bunks everywhere.

You know, there's just the bunk side by side by side. It's loud. There was some very intimidating women there. I didn't have any money on my books or anything, so I would like have to wash people's panties and their, you know, their clothes in the bucket to get commissary. It was not a good time. Gained a lot of weight. Yeah, it was, it was bad.

And the worst thing I saw there was a fight, a pretty bad fight where one of the ladies, it was just in a bunk like adjacent from ours, a book that was on the top bunk had fell on the bottom bunk. And when the girl came back from Rick, she saw the book on her bed. And she was like, you know, can I, sorry, can I cuss? She was like, who the fuck put this book on my bed, you know? And so it was her bunkies book. And her bunkey came over and she was like, it was my book.

It accidentally fell on your bed. Well, she just went into a rage and they started fighting and she like took her head. And I'm 18 sitting in my top bunk watching this. And she like took her head and she's like pounding it into the metal of the bunk and just blood everywhere. And it was pretty scary. How did you know how to navigate that prison sentence? You've never been to prison before. You've only done that couple days in jail.

I stayed to myself. I read a lot. I just did, like I said, I did people's laundry for commissary. I just kind of stayed to myself. I don't even think I watched TV really any then. I didn't really come out of my bunk very much. It was, yeah, it was pretty rough. Do the woman click up at all in there? They do. They do. It's more of the, you know, it's not like gang related, but it's different than men's prisons. And I always say this. I said this in my last podcast. It's way different from men's prisons and the fact that there's really not gangs in there. But, you know, black women tend to hang out with black women and white women tend to hang out with white women. There are, you know, instances where they, you know, it's not like that. But most of the time they kind of just kind of stay in groups like that. Now, being mixed, where would you have fit in that?

I didn't fit in with anybody, really. I didn't. I stayed to myself completely. I was terrified at 18 for sure. Do you think it felt like your childhood again, being kind of an outcast? Yeah, for sure. What about drug use? Did you stay clean during that time?

Absolutely. And followed all the rules. Why do you think that was? Structure. Discipline, the structure. I've learned now that I've gotten older is that I do well with structure. So why weren't you able to stay on that path once you got out after that six months? Because six months is a good amount of time to get on the right track, rebuild.

Honestly, because I went right back out to the same people who were still using drugs. Family members were still using. So I just, you know, I went back to the exact same people that I was around before. Plus, I had gained all that weight, and it was like I knew how to take it off, just like that. Now, how do you gain weight in prison? Is it just eating commissary? I would wake up in the middle of the night and eat Snickers bars. Are you kidding me?

I would wake up in the middle of the night and eat my Snickers bars or I was so hungry. Like, you know, coming off a meth, you're just, I was so hungry I would eat. You know, the girls would be like, do you want this on my tray? And I'd be like, yes, yes, you know, so I would just, I ate a lot. Plus, in Dawson, there's no, you don't go outside, really. The recreation is inside and it's just like a basketball court that you can walk around. So there's no physical exercise at all, really. You can just shoot a basketball.

And I'm not a basketball player. Did they have any programs for you guys at all back then? They had a few classes. They had like in A or A. or whatever, but they didn't really have a lot of educational programs. Dawson got shut down for a lot of reasons. It was a pretty, it was a pretty bad place to be. Did you try doing any of those programs? I did AA in there. I went to the A.A. just because it was, and they offered church, so I went to church. I went to those, but I just kind of did the AA to get out of the, you know, to get out of the unit.

It didn't really resonate with you at that time? No. No. No. I was super young. I was, you know, I was really young. Now you get out and you go on that crime spree. Yes, sorry. Now I get out. I go on the crime spree. So my next, that's when I went into the front of the judge the next time.

And I racked up all those charges. I had theft by checks. Like I said, unauthorized use of motor vehicle, two credit card abuses, and then the past forgery charge. So when I went in, he sentenced me to five years in TDC.

Now, when I finally got caught. What's TDC for the audience? Texas Department of Corrections. And how is that, different from the state you were in? So state, you do day for day. So if like you get a, if you get nine months, you do nine months. And if you get like a case in there, they can't add in or a case, or if you get in trouble in there and you get a case, they, they can't add any more

time to you. So you just do, it's day for day, basically. And then in TDC, it's, you get five years and then you, it's parole. You can get paroled out. So you only do, you know, you come up for parole like every year, however it works, and then you get paroled and do the rest of your time at home. Where do they send you? It's a hobby. Hopin hobby. When I was still like I was 18, I was about 19 years old and I went to Hopin Hobby. And it's the worst female prison unit in the state of Texas where they send the big murderers.

They send all the bad. Now, there was a little bit of gang activity there. as far as the, you know, the women. The women are really, really bad there. At least they were. I don't know what it's like now, but it was bad. Now, why did they send someone like you there? I have no idea.

I had a five-year sentence. I had no idea. I was young. And so when I got there, they put me on on what they call a hoe squad. And the hoe squad is where you, you go out into the fields every day, and you have a hoe.

and you're basically we were moving dirt because they really weren't planning anything. So we removed dirt all day in the heat and the Texas heat. People would literally like take their locks and break their ankles to get out of the host squad. It was terrible. And do you think that builds character? Do you think that what do you think that does? I think that I think what it does is, you know, like, you know, like in the Jewish concentration camps or whatever, like, you know, they would make people move rocks or back. the day they would make people move rocks from one pile to the other, you know, one pile to the other.

And the next day, they'd make them move rocks back. It's like meaningless. It's punishment. It's like meaningless tasks. It's not to help you. It wasn't to, I don't know what it was for, but it was like this meaningless task that just kind of degraded you and made you feel terrible. And, I mean, the guards would be on, we were shotguns because we'd have to go on the field. So they'd be on the horses with shotguns. They would yell at you if you were, if you weren't keeping up. you know you get water breaks every now and then but it's just near dying in the texas heat i don't know what they've got they've gotten rid of the host squad it's what i've heard now it's heard like the garden squad where they go out and garden but they've done away with the host squad now now who picks who goes

out on that squad at that point in time um so classifications whoever like that's where they classify you um whenever you go in and you get classified at the prison prison um that's who classifies you into a job And what are other jobs you could work there? The kitchen, laundry, commissary, like, orderly for the dorm to clean up the units and stuff like that. Jobs like that. So it sounds like the host squad's the worst one. Yeah. And me, the little little five-year sentence for these sole charges gets put on the host squad.

Now, I signed up for a program, somebody older was hit to the game, signed up for a program to I could move to another prison. So it was like a computer program. So I did end up moving prisons with an air conditioner. It was the only unit with an air conditioner. So that's why I signed up that program. Yeah. How's it work in the units without or in the prisons without AC? Oh, God. So they have these big, these big like box fans in the wall. And they have like a transfer unit. Actually, it's called Woodman that you go to first whenever you first get locked up. So it's a transfer unit. You go there. You get your picture taken, you whatever. And they have what they call like a dog pound where they it's like literally a dog pound with cages and that's where you have to stay for

about two weeks where you're getting classified and it's so hot but when you finally get transferred out of the dog pound and you go into the like these big metal tin buildings you have these fans in the wall but it would be so hot in there that women we would soak our gowns that we slept in and water before we would lay down to go to sleep because the heat was just unbearable and how are the rooms is Is it bunk beds? It wasn't, yeah, it's not room. So it's just like a whole open 10 building in Woodman in the transfer unit. It's a whole open building.

And then there's just bunks everywhere. So you're bunk, bunk. So you're with four or three other women. And then in hobby, it was rooms with doors to where they locked at night. And you only had one person with you. Now, how often do you go out on the host squad? Is it every day? Every day.

Except for, I believe, I can't remember so long ago. I think we had Saturdays and Sundays off. It was just many through Friday. Do you think that would reduce violence or people getting into trouble? By putting them on the host squad? Yeah, keeping them out of the unit by the time they get back, they're tired. Maybe. Maybe.

But women were still, especially over girlfriends, that's the biggest thing that women fight over is girlfriends. Like, one woman, you know, I saw a lot of bad things in hobby due to women. Did you stay away from having a girlfriend yourself? Yes, for sure. Women were getting raped. Like there was a woman there that got raped with a broomstick in the shower. By another woman.

Yeah. And why would that happen? I guess they got into it or something. And she took a broomstick and raped her in the shower. There was a woman who slid her wrist over a girlfriend and like over like out of a window or I don't know how she got her. But like just slid her wrist and there was, yeah, crazy stuff. happened there. No, you mentioned there was female gangs. What were those?

It was more like, I guess, I don't really know the specific types of gangs, but it was more like Mexican gangs, you know, and it was definitely more Mexican, with Mexican, black with black, white, with white, it hobby when I was there. And do they bother you or do they leave you alone? No, I stayed

by myself. I just went, I'm telling you. I was so scared. I stayed with myself. I had my, I had a roommate of mine that was, um, that she was a black lady. She'd been there for a while. Um, and so I just kind of stayed in my unit. I didn't really go out and watch TV or do anything. I would go to the host squad. I'd be so hot. I'd come back, take a shower, go in there and read. That's all I did. Did you stay in touch with your family at all during this time? Uh, yes. And were they supportive? Yes. Yeah. Did they come visit you?

I don't remember if my mom came to visit me in Hobby. Not hobby, I don't think. Not at that time, no. Because she was kind of still out there doing her thing. What do you think kept you going in there mentally? Every time I get locked up, I've always believed in God, but every time I would get locked up, I would lean on God. It was just a thing for me. So church and going to church and

just that would keep me going. And do you stay drug-free this period of time? Yes. So you go back out on the streets before, you're back on drugs, and then you get sober during this period? Yes. And how long do you end up doing in here? So when I left Hobby, I went to Mountain View,

and I ended up doing 18 months on a five-year sentence before I got out on parole. And was that common for a sentence like that? Yeah, it's pretty common. What was your mindset getting out of there? I was just happy to get out, but honestly, I was just ready to get high. What do you think,

why do you think that is? You know, you could go for 18 months, clean, and then just the day you're let free, you want to get high again. I loved meth so much. I was actually on parole, though, at that time. And so I kind of stayed, I think at that time I kind of stayed clean for like a while,

maybe just like not very long, but I ended up using again. And then I knew I had parole or if I had knew I had to go in and take a urine test, I would, you know, stop before I had to go take the urine test in time. So, but I stayed clean for a little while. But it was always going back to the same people, the same environment. I never changed my environment. I never changed the people I surrounded myself with because it was, that's my family.

It was my, those are my people. Did you want for something different? I think maybe in the back of my mind I did, but I was also having a lot of, lot of, it was a lot of bad, but it was a lot of fun too. Like, and I would just go off and do my own thing at that, at that point in time. I mean, I was gone. Like, once I got high, I was going to make money, like, going to do this, going to hang out with this person, going to get high with this person, going to get, you know, so it was, I don't know, I just really enjoyed it. What do you end up doing for work? I never worked. Not during that time. So it's right back to selling drugs?

Yeah. Now when you're selling, are you making any decent money or is it just a little... Not thin. Not big money. Like I said, just enough money to support to get to maintain my high or to make sure we got a, you know, a hotel room or something like that. And are you back with the second boyfriend when you get out or is he gone? I believe we were back together at that point for a little while.

But no relation with your kid at all? No, I was, I had a relationship with her. Like I would, I mean, my mom had her still, but I would, you know, see them and stuff like that. I always put my friends, and this is something my biggest regret is, I always put those other people before my family or before my daughter or before my mom. Like, that was the worst, my worst regret is I would always, like, they would, if my mom and my daughter were hungry somewhere or whatever, they were waiting for me, I'm going to go take care of this first and be with this person and wait forever before I go do this. So that was probably my biggest regret. And how old are you when you get out of TDC? I'd say 20, 21, maybe.

21? And how long do you stay free for? Sorry. No, you're doing great. My thinking. Yes, I got out. Yes, okay. So I got out and then I ended up getting pregnant again.

And I was, how old was I? I'm not good with dates and times. No, you're doing great. Okay, it was about 2006 whenever I got pregnant with my son. Because he was born in 2008. 2006 when I got pregnant with my son. And in between that time, I still wasn't working or whatever, and I got pregnant with him. And once again, used, you know, I never stopped using drugs.

I'm just going to say that now. Never stopped using drugs. And I got pregnant with him. I had him. And he was, I took, like, he was my baby. Like, I took care of him. And he went with me pretty much everywhere. I was still selling drugs at that point, still living in hotels.

Or I would find a place to stay with at a friend's house or something like that. Or just, you know, hey, can I crash at your place with my son for, you know, whatever, for however long. But, so he went with me pretty much everywhere I went. And are you catching new charges or are you just? Not during that time. Not during that time, not yet. How long does this go on for? Maybe a year or two, I think.

I stayed out, maybe a year or two, at least a year. Yeah, so I stayed out for maybe a year. And then I finally tested dirty on one of my tests that I had to go in and urine test. and because of that, she put me on an ankle monitor. So when I got put on the ankle monitor, I had to go stay at my grandma's house. And in her little RV, she didn't want me staying in the house. So I was in the RV. And so I was stuck and trapped in this little RV.

I smoked cigarettes. I, you know, at the time, and I pretty much, I still had my son, Dylan, but I, this is so stupid. Like this is a stupid story. But I was so, I asked her to go get my pack of cigarettes that didn't have any and she wouldn't go get me a pack of cigarettes. And so I'm like, you know what, fuck this. Fuck this. Fuck this. I'm leaving. Because at the time, like I only had, I thought I only had a year left on paper. So I was like, fuck this. I can go do, you know, a year standing on my head. I'm just going to go back. You know, whatever. So I left on the ankle monitor. I went to get a pack, I went to get a pack of cigarettes and then I went to go get high because I wasn't high at that time.

So, and I went to go get high and I remember my mom worked at a bar and I showed up in my mom's bar and she's like, oh my God, Tara, what are you doing? Like, and I'm like, she wouldn't go give me a pack of cigarettes and I'm high, you know, whatever. So I get high that night, all that night and I go in and I turn myself in the next day to my parole officer. I said, I'm dirty. Here I am.

I know I took up the income monitor. I'm ready, right? So I'm like, I only got a year left. So I go into jail. and when I go into the jail for this, they come, sorry, they call me out of my cell one day and they pull me out for, they pull me out and they're like, okay, you know, your time or whatever, you know, and they show me the time and it was, it's two years, it's not one year. So I had more time than I thought I had, right? And so I had to go back in. I was pregnant. I had gotten pregnant

again right before then, right before I went in. My mom took my son Dylan. I was pregnant. So I was pregnant this time in prison. So I had to go to the medical unit. And I thought I was getting out in a year and I did not. And I ended up having my baby in jail that time. How was that experience, especially in Texas? Terrible. So you stay, you don't go to the medical unit right away. So I went to intake again, which is the women I was talking about. So I stayed there for a while. I stayed there for a while. And then when it was time to give birth, you go to the medical unit and you give birth. And they put you in it's in Galveston. And they put you, I'm chained on a bed, chained to the bed, having a baby with a guard that's standing in the room. You're not allowed to have any family or anything in there while

you're having the baby. So I had my baby. And then they take the baby away. And then they walk you. I had a C-section. So, you know, pretty bad, you know, it was kind of rough. So I, they take you back into these like metal rooms for inmates and there's like a shower in you and another inmate. Nurses don't care about you. I just had a C-section. Then they come. The guards, like, if you want to see your son, you need to get up and walk. And I'm like, all right, you know, so I have to get up right after the surgery and I walked down this huge hallway to see my son for, I think it was like, maybe I got to spend like 30 or 40 minutes with them before my mom and my grandma came and picked him up. I had to, you know, leave my son there or leave my son with them. If you didn't have

someone to pick them up or your child up, they go to foster care. Right away, they don't give you any period of time. No. If you don't have anybody to come pick up your kid, they'll send them in foster care. I've heard from some woman that have been on the show that, you know, they were at least able to keep the kid for a couple weeks. No, they don't. They won't keep the kid. Not in Texas. And now once you have the kid, do you stay in the hospital or do you just go right back? No, I go right back. Yeah.

I stayed in the hospital for a day after that back there and then they sent me straight back to prison. Do they give you the proper medication or medical? I didn't get any pain pills. I didn't get any anything like that, no. Even while you're giving birth too? I mean, no. While you give birth, they give you medication, yeah, while you're giving birth. Plus, I had a C-section.

so they had to give me an epidural or make me numb. But afterwards, you know, in the real world, you would get pain medication or you get to stay in the hospital for this many hours to make sure everything's good. No. You walked. You're good. Now, are they giving you a special diet while you're pregnant in prison at all? No.

You don't get anything. Oh, I'm sorry. You get a snack bag at the end of the night with a sandwich and like a little, like, a cracker or something, like a cracker package. No extra food at all as a part of your diet or anything. No. Vitamins? No.

Wow. Nothing. Nothing. How was the rest of your time there while after you gave birth? Rough. Because I was, my grandfather actually had died during that time when I was locked up. So I missed his, I missed his death. And then I didn't have my baby.

You know, I had my baby. and then, and I'm stone cold sober, right? So I'm feeling all these emotions, but I'm also burying them. And they're probably still buried, but it's because I bury a lot of emotions. I don't really feel that. I don't deal with them. But so I'm burying all these emotions because I don't want to deal with them. But, yeah, it was rough.

And then there's, what is it, postpartum depression, right? Yeah, for sure. And I couldn't imagine going through that, especially in prison. Yeah. Yeah, it was rough. The only blessing is you're surrounded, whenever you're in the medical unit, because they do send you back to the medical unit, you're surrounded with other women that have had kids and have, you know,

have, were pregnant and had to gone through the same thing. So there's kind of more like an emotional support system there. So that was a plus. Now, the other women that are there are, what are they there for? What are their charges? It ranges. There's women there for child abuse. There's women, or child molestation.

There's women there for, you know, most of the women, were there for drugs. There's some murders and stuff, but most of the women are there for drugs. Did it put your life in a perspective at all? A little bit, yeah, at that point, yeah. Started doing some life reflecting. And what did you think about? That I would like to change, that I would like to, you know, I wanted to, I wanted to be a mom.

You know, I had my son Dylan at that point. I wanted to be a mom. I wanted to take care of my kids at that point when I was locked up. And it did change my perspective. So what happens when you get out of there? I got out of there and went back to my mom. My mom had my baby that I just had and then had my other son and then, of course, my daughter. But he had grown attached to my mom and my grandma because, you know, I had been

gone for, so he was already attached to them. So he wasn't really, he was my son, but he didn't have any connection with me or really bond with me or whatever. And I resented that a lot. And so I, I guess I kind of resented it to the point so where I just kind of pushed it away or pushed him away a little bit. And so I ended up getting back, you know, taking my, she kind of took my two kids, the ones that she had had, Veronica and the one that I just had in prison. And then I took my son with me, the one that was always my road dog and traveled with me. I kind of took him and separated. And do you stay on the right track at this point? No. No, I got back to getting, I did for a little while. I stayed sober for a little while when I got out again. And then I started using again. I actually

had a job at that point. That was my first job. I actually worked at IHOP for a little while and did that and tried to be, you know, and tried working, didn't like it. Didn't like it at all. And so, yeah, I would stay, I stayed at like budget suites and stuff like that with my son. And I had another boyfriend at that time that I got with and that was doing drugs. And so he kind of took care of me and, you know, always a boyfriend, always a man. Would something trigger you to go back to drugs, especially after a period of time of being sober? I don't know if it was a trigger. It was just a way, it was just the feeling. I just love, I just, I can't describe it. I just love being high. Plus the weight. The weight was always a trigger like because I would get, I would get big in prison because I would eat a lot. And then when I came home, I would, you know, it just had a baby. And how do you get, how do you lose weight? You get high. So I would, you know, just get high and then lose a whole bunch of weight. But I could never stop.

Now these men you had in your life in and out, were they stable individuals? No, not at all. Not at all. They were not stable at all. They were committing crimes and doing things and, you know, no, not at all. And you were okay bringing them around your kid? Yeah. Now, when you're living in the hotels, you know, how do you pick between getting high

and maybe feeding your kid or just making those life decisions? Honestly, my kid never went without food or anything. Even if I had to steal it, you know, he never, never went without food. But I was always on, I had what is, WIC too. So, I mean, I had that. But my kids never went without diapers or food or anything like that. And never did drugs around my kids or, you know, they were never around it like that. But it was always, I mean, if I did some, it would be like in the bathroom or something like that if we were in a hotel.

But I never did drugs around my kids ever, never, ever. Did you feel like you were functioning? I did. I did. I felt like I was functioning. How long does this go on for? Went on for a while. Eventually, I broke up with that guy.

I had gotten, I started working at a strip club actually as a wait-refer. not as a dancer as a waitress. And when I worked there, I kind of got, you know, familiar with the customers and there was this guy there. And one, you know, one day he asked me, he was like, hey, do you know where I can get some ex pills? And I was like, yeah, you know, just go in the back and they're selling them there, right? So I go, I don't even think two things, you know, two things about it. So I go in and I go to the back, get him his little ex pills. It was only like two pills, brought them out to him or whatever. And then I ended up quitting the strip club. So whenever I went back in for my, for my probation violation, they came at me with that

charge. And it turns out that he was an undercover cop that I had sold to. So got that charge. So now, you know, I have a possession charge, manufacturing delivery and all these other, all these other felonies. So that was included in the time that I, that I got for my probation violation. So you had to go back to prison again after that two years? No, they included it in the time. So this was a part of the two years when you had the kid and everything. Yeah. So then what happens after this?

So I get out after that and not with the same guy anymore. And this was actually the longest stretch of time that I had stayed out. But I met another guy and he was a major drug dealer. Like, he sold a lot of weight. And we're talking kilos. And I met him and he was like, you want me to show you how to make some real money? And I'm like, well, yeah, I want you to show me how to make some real money, you know? So at that point, I started selling a lot of drugs, a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot of drugs.

What did he show you? He showed me the way, you know, the, he showed me like, you know, just introduced me to different people, introduced me to his deal. which was a part of the Mexican cartel or mafia? Yeah, it was pretty high up there. So I started selling, you know, bigger quantities and things like that. He ended up going in getting in trouble and going to prison. So I kind of took over his little empire, started taking care of his customers, things like that. But I was making a lot of money.

I got my own apartment for me and my son. I was paying my bills. my own, you know, and just kind of ripping and running. I mean, it was just like nonstop. How much money are we talking about? Thousands and thousands and thousands. A lot of money. A week or a day? A day. And what exactly was your role? What do you have to do? So I would just, you know, for him, if he needed me to go take something to somebody, I would. I had my own customers as well. So I would, you know, go to their houses. I'm talking, you know, three o'clock in the morning you need something i'll be there or just come by and pick it up

you know whatever um but when he took over i ended up or when he went to in and i kind of took over for him i would go and meet the source and get it from him and you know bring it back and it was it was we're talking you know kilos i've already done my time for it we're talking kilos you know so it was it was a lot this is just meth or something else just meth yeah and are you still heavily using during this period oh yeah much worse and my pill use got worse too. So I was not only doing the meth. I was, you know, doing the pills. And so I was doing like GHB. I don't know if you know what GHB is. I don't know the technical term for it, but it's kind of like a date rape drug. But if you take enough of it, it just kind of like mellows you out and just whatever.

So I was doing that. I was taking pills. I was doing meth constantly, um, staying up for. I mean, you know, when I was younger, I used to stay up for like seven days at a time, you know, at different times in my life. But I was staying up for days and yeah, just ripping and running, but selling a lot, a lot, a lot of stuff. How are you able to function as a dealer and moving that kind of weight while also high? Surprisingly well. Surprisingly well.

I don't know. Honestly, as far as, and I've kind of learned, like, people's chemistry as far as drugs go, some people's, like body chemistry and their brain chemistry can handle drugs a lot different than other people. Like I was never, you know, one of those people that I have my teeth or I wasn't a picker or I didn't do things that normally, you know, some kind of meth people did. It just worked really well with my chemistry. It just, that was another reason why it was so easy to continue to do it for so long for so many years because there wasn't a time from the time when I was 13 to 28 until that I was sober for unless I was in prison, really. Now, was it dangerous for you to be a dealer?

being a young. And being a woman, yes. I would have to some pretty scary situations. I would, you know, have to go by myself into apartments where there was, you know, a ton of like different guys there. I've had bad things happen to me. I've had like, I had went over to somebody's house and they gave me something and I woke up with like my pants down and they had taken my dope and stuff. And I I don't honestly know or remember what happened. But I never got robbed or like at gunpoint or nobody ever broken to my house or anything. But, you know, there were some bad things that happened to me. No, you never had security or anything?

No. I had the name. I had the backing of the name of the person that I got my stuff from. I had that, you know. And I think that's one of the main reasons why a lot of people didn't mess with me was because I had that. They knew where I got my stuff, you know, they knew who I got my stuff from. And so that was a reason why they didn't really mess with me. Now, the guy you were working for at first, were you worried he would flip on you when he went down?

No, not him, not at all. And that's not even how. Yeah, that's, I, not him. So how I ended up getting into the Fed charge was I had a guy that I was seeing, whatever, and selling four. And me and the dealer went to a casino one night to, you know, go and spend money, you know, whatever. And so the, I will call him my baby daddy because I got pregnant by him. So baby daddy. Actually, I'm just going to put his name out there. His name is Shadow. And Carrey Yotherman is his name. And he called one night and asked if he could get some, you know,

some dope or whatever. And I'm like, we're at a casino. I don't have any. And I was like, he can get into my house and get some. So he went into my house, got some, got a bag, and then he ended up getting, we had no idea, but his girlfriend that he was with, she was being watched by the feds. And so after he left my house that night with the dope, he went to go drop it off and the police surrounded him, right? And he went to jail. When he went to jail, the marshals came to talk to him, and he immediately gave up my name.

immediately said I got the drugs from, you know, Tara Perry's apartment. And it started me in on the investigation. He also gave up the name of my, you know, the dealer that, you know, we were getting his stuff from, gave up his name as well. So it started him under the investigation. So that's how, that's how that started. How long were they investigating you for? Not very long. They don't have, they didn't have any, they didn't have any controlled buys. They didn't have any evidence on me, they had the word of two people. That's what they had for the conspiracy charge that I got in trouble for. They didn't have, they had no, they had no evidence on me whatsoever. And they weren't watching me. They, nobody, you know, I wasn't under the, I wasn't in anybody's radar at that time.

Or, you know, my dealer wasn't under anybody's radar at that time. It was all because he opened his mouth when he got in trouble and started and put our names out there. So that started the investigation. Did you stop selling when he got busted? Or are you, you, you? You kept going about business. I kept going about business because I didn't know it first that he like we were talking on, I was pregnant, right? So because, you know, we were together, whatever it was the thing. I had gotten pregnant.

So we were together. He was like talking about buying baby Nike shocks and all this stuff on the phone and not knowing, you know, knowing damn good well that he had spoken on me and that I was going to have an indictment. And we were talking on the phone. I was going to visit him. everything, you know, was carrying on like normal. So I had no idea.

Tell us about the day you got arrested. So I, the marshal, actually, I got a call from the DEA. And I was like, yes, sir. Okay, this is, you know, from the DEA. And I'm like, yes, sir. And he was like, I'd like you to come in. And, you know, we have some questions about so-and-so who got arrested. You know, we'd like you to come in for some questions.

about this person and I was like, okay, you know, I put it off for, I was pregnant, you know, I put it off for, I don't know, maybe a few weeks, two weeks and he called me again and he was like, you know, it's fair, we just need you to come in for some questioning. We just have questions about this person. And I'm like, okay. So me and my mom went into the DEA office in downtown Fort Worth and it's like you go into this building, you can't tell it's a DA building. It's a big building that's got other offices in there. And you get on the elevator and you go up to the floor and then as soon as you walk off, you see drug enforcement agency sign like right in front of you.

It's the most intimidating, scary thing you'll ever see. But we walk in and I really honestly believed that I was there to answer questions about somebody else. So we go into the interview room. They shut the door, lock it behind me. We sit down at the table and they're like, okay, Miss Perry, we have, you know, this and this. and, you know, replacing you under arrest. And I was like, what? I had no idea because I didn't know anything about the federal system.

I didn't know anything about, I thought that the federal system was reserved for cartel members or, you know, gangsters or Al Capone or people like that. I had no idea that, like, they didn't ever catch me. I didn't get pulled over with anything because in the state of Texas, you have to have evidence against you, right, to get in trouble. So I had no idea. So they took me that day. My mom left and they took me to Fort Worth, Tarrant County Jail.

I was pregnant and I went in for, I was there for the weekend. And they took me out on that Monday and took me into court. And they like assigned me. Like they took me into what they call a proffer basically to talk about stuff or basically to admit what you did, but they're not supposed to be able to use that against you. They had a lawyer there just like that, just some lawyer that they assigned to me. And we sat in a room and they asked me questions. They were like, did you sell this amount to this amount?

And I'm like, this can't be used against me, right? The lawyer's like, no, it can't be used against you. And I basically admitted, yes, I did do this. Yes, I did sell this. Yes, I did, you know, whatever. And they're like, okay, you know, we ended that. And then they took me for the judge and they gave me a pre-trial release because I was pregnant. So pre-trial release is where they let you.

out without a bond while you're, you know, awaiting trial, basically. Now, do you think if you weren't cooperating with them, just having the conversation with them, that they wouldn't have given you that? Yeah, probably not. Is that one of the reasons why you guys wanted to have those discussions? I honestly thought, I didn't, I didn't know what to think. Like, I didn't, I was so, it was like a railroad. It was like they took me out on Monday.

They took me to the federal building. They're like, okay, well, you know, you can come in and do this. And, you know, you can talk about it, can't be used to it. And I was like, okay, like I didn't have anybody to talk to. Nobody for guidance. Nobody didn't know any history about it, nothing. And so I was like, okay, you know, yeah. And so I went in there and I did it.

And, you know, I never should have done that. But you don't win against the government. Anyways. Now, what's your lawyer telling you throughout this process? Throughout the process, he's just telling me, you know, basically I would look at him whenever I needed to answer a question. and he would shake, you know, shake his head, yes. And so I would answer the question.

And that was pretty much it. He didn't really tell me anything else at that point. What about in general how much time you're facing? Nothing yet. If you should, you know, cooperate. He told me I should cooperate. But I, he didn't, nobody told me what kind of time I was facing at that point yet. Now, if they did, would that have changed your mind about cooperation?

I don't know. I don't know. I mean, I thought if you cooperate or if I'm like telling you that I did this, if I'm admitting my guilt, you know, like that you would get less time, you know, like you're getting less time. I didn't have, I didn't, you know, I didn't snitch on anybody. I didn't tell on anybody. I didn't have anybody. Number one, I didn't have anybody to tell on. Everybody else was already arrested, you know, they had told on me. They already had, you know, they already had all these. They said, here's the person. You know, they showed you every, they show you everything. Oh, yeah, they got the connect from. Yes. That other. guy. Yeah. So they already had everything, you know, and so I'm like, okay, yeah, I did that. And then they came up with, okay, so you sold this, you know, this amount basically this many time. I'm like, well, yeah, that sounds about right. You know, you sold a kilo a day or a key, under two kilos a day or whatever. I'm like, well, yeah, I mean, that sounds about right. I don't, I don't keep track, really. But so, you know, I, I would just cooperated because I, like I said, I thought that if you

cooperated, maybe you get less time. So what ends up happening? I get out. I get out. I'm pregnant. I actually stopped using drugs. That scared me straight. And I stopped using drugs completely. My family was still using drugs around me and I was not using drugs. I was pregnant with my daughter. I got a job at McDonald's. I started working. I got my own apartment. I ended up having my daughter in November. And I was taking care of her and taken care of my son and lived very close to my mom and my grandma and was living the right way for once, for finally, for the first time. All because of a knock on the door by the FBI or the DEA. D.E.A. Wow. Dea. Yeah, I was scared that, I was scared straight. And when I finally did get going to my lawyer's office and he explained to me how,

the federal system works and the guidelines. And he told me how much time I was facing. I told me I was facing 30 years in prison. 30 to 40 years, I'm sorry, is what it came back as of my guidelines. 30 to 40 years. And that was after you took a plea deal? No, this was before. So this was before I went into court. And, you know, when you actually finally, like, get arrested and then you go and you talk to your lawyer in his office and he, you know, he tells you this. But first in the federal system, you have to go and, like, out a P.S.I is what they call it. And so when I went in there, they asked you a whole bunch of questions and things like that and get all into this information. And that's what they base your, they base your time on your past previous felonies. And because I had so many past previous

felonies, it put my guidelines at like the highest range because I had so many criminal history points. So that's why it came back to 30 to 40 years. And how long does this process play out for from the time you were arrested to the time where say you were offered a deal and let's see I was about six months where it was maybe five months pregnant with Savannah I had her in October my court date was in February so I had her in November and then it was February that I had to go into court so not very long then court for sentencing or to take the plea deal court for sentencing so what did you end up signing a deal for I didn't really sign a deal for anything you don't you don't sign a deal deal for anything. You go before the judge, unless you take it to trial, right? And nobody takes it to trial

in the federal system because nobody wins in the federal system. It said they have like a 99.9% conviction rate. And if you take it to trial, you're likely to get a life sentence for sure. So they didn't even offer you a guaranteed amount? No. So it was like an open plea in a way. Yeah. It was whatever the judge, whatever the judge gives you. So your lawyer can file for what they call like, I can't remember the specific, but like, so reasons why you should get less time. Mitigating factors. Yes.

Thank you. Mitigating factors. So why you should get less time. So this, this, this. You can argue this in your PSI or, you know, whatever. Like, because when the DEA did go to my apartment, you know, they didn't find anything there. Like I said, they didn't ever have any evidence against me.

It states in my PSI that when they went in there, they found no drugs. No paraphernalia, no nothing, right? So he argued that. He argued the fact that, you know, they didn't have any evidence on me except for these two people that said that I did this. And then the proffer that was supposed to have not been used against me was used. They had that, you know. So when I went in, I brought my whole family there to the sentencing. And the only thing that you do really is get to stand up and speak for yourself as to why you should not be incarcerated. And your family can get up and speak for you. And my family did. And I got up and there and I told them, you know, I was crying and I'm like, I'm finally living my life. Like I'm finally being

a mom. I've held a job. I'm sober. I'm sorry. Like I won't do this again, you know. And so the judge listens to all of it. And there's three judges in, in Tarrant County in the federal system. There's Judge Means, McBride, and I can't remember the name of the other one, but McBride, hang him high McBride. He's known for giving like 100 years sentences, right? Really high sentences. So I did get Judge Means. He's a fair judge. So when I went up in front of him, he's listening to my story. He's, you know, whatever. And he's like, you know, he's hearing me. and I go sit back down and then the prosecutor gets up and says, let me remind you, judge, that this woman sold kilos and kilos of methamphetamine to people's families and, you know,

has a long criminal history of this and yada, yada, yada. And then the judge is like, well, thank you, sir, for bringing me back to reality, right? So after all that happens, I sit down with my family and you go, the judge goes back there and deliberates and he comes out. and he says, you know, Ms. Perry, I send an issue to 240 months in the federal system. And I had no idea in my mind how much 240 months was. And I just started bawling. I just had my three-month-year-old babies in the, she's in the courtroom. All my kids are in there.

And I'm just start screaming. I'm like, please just let me hug my baby. Let me hug my baby. And they take me away. And they put me in this holding cell and I'm bawling and I'm crying and I'm asking the guard. I'm like, how much is 240 months? And she's like, honey, that's 20 years. And I was just, I was just, I did.

Dead. And that was it. And they took me away. And they took me to the city jail where they held the federal prisoners before they send you off to the feds. And that was it. I think this is where, you know, the system really fails people because there's no way to tell from the judge's side if that person's actually changed their life by that point and the ones that they do have their lives change by that point in time because the legal process

could take years to play out and could be on the right track. They could totally derail it and make it even worse. Yeah. And there's no really rehabilitation at that point. Yeah. There's, it's not a fair legal. The federal system is really not a fair system at all. I mean, you know, in Texas now, there's, there's um they have since i've been incarcerated they've got programs and stuff like that that you can that you can do or that they'll offer you for you to do instead of doing jail time but the federal system is so messed up because they don't have to have any evidence against you they don't have to have like they don't have they can do whatever they want it's broken completely broken and it's very unfair and then this guideline system that they have to go by just because you have this many

criminal points, you know, I've never been in trouble in the feds. I've never had a federal charge before, but just because I've had, you know, these past criminal history points, it puts me in a bracket that's so high that it sends me to prison for 40 years. It's not, and the judges really have no leeway because he's like, Ms. Perry, I'm bad. He gave me a 10-year downward departure for for basically confessing. He gave me a 10-year downward departure for that. So instead of 30, that's why he got 20. So he was able to go below the guidelines for that, but he couldn't go any lower because he was bound by the guidelines.

So it's not. It's broken. Where do they end up sending you? I went to FMC Carswell, which is in the Air Force, Carswell Air Force Base in Fort Worth. So you were able to stay close to your family? Yes, I was, thank God.

I could have been sent somewhere else, but they kept me here. And that's a lower or a medium? That was a high because that's where they house. It's a medical facility. but that's where they house the high prisoners. Like they have a in the building inside the prison where they keep like high profile federal prisoners, female prisoners, like terrorist groups and stuff like that. So that was a high security prison.

But it's also a medical facility. So you've got women there with diseases, cancer, you know, liver problems. I mean, just anything and everything you can think of. So it's a medical facility. but it's also got, you know, young people there or whatever. Now, how did that compare to the state prison? Oh. I mean, I don't want to make it sound great, but compared to Texas state prison,

the federal prison was wonderful. I mean, the food, the guaranteed air conditioner, you get fruit, you know, twice. The food was better. They have more programs, better programs. But, yeah. So it's better. How long does it take you to comprehend that you're going to be there for the next 20 years minus whatever there is for good time or, you know, programming?

So I would have had to have served. Really, they don't give you good time very much. So I would have had to serve 18. Sorry. Yes, 18 on a 20. So how long does it take for that to settle in once you get there? When I went into, actually, when I went into the county jail after they took me from, you know, from courthouse.

I first thing I did was just get on my bunk and started crying and bawling and there was a Bible that was sitting on the table and the women in there. I didn't really talk to any of the women in there when I first went in but I grabbed that Bible and when I grabbed that Bible I opened it and I read it and I literally heard a voice in my head telling me Tara, watch what I'm going to do. You're not going to do all your time like a literal voice in my head. I heard it. And I can't explain it, but a piece came over me. Like, they say a piece that surpasses all understanding. That piece came over me.

And I felt like I stopped crying. You know what I mean? And it was just kind of like buck up, soldier. Like, you've got to do this, you know? But I remember I would call my mom on the phone, bawling and crying. And my mom's hysterical. and my whole family was hysterical, you know, but it was kind of a weird, like, where I was like, okay, God, like I'm, okay, I'm standing on this with you. But at the same time, the prop,

me going in at 28, like, I wouldn't get out until, you know, 18 years. That's my whole life, you know. So it was kind of like, I blocked it. It's one of those other things that I kind of just shoved down. And I was kind of like you just have to make it day by day. You just have to get through day by day. Did you stay to yourself this time going into this? Not at all. Not at all. It was a completely different experience for me this time around.

Why was that? I don't know. Something in me shifted. Something in me had changed. Something in me had, I was, like I said, I had been sober already. So I went in sober. And I was like, I'm going to make, I'm going to use this time to, to, be the best person that I can be, to make myself be the best person that I can be, to learn all

that I can, to do that all that I can. I didn't stay stacked. Like I just, I nonstop did programs, church. I ran the church choir. I did the life connections program where it was a religious based program. I went to church every Sunday. I was in the choir. I was a nursing assistant where I worked in the hospital and took care of the women who were, you know, you had to change their diapers or they were paralyzed or they had dementia or whatever. Got my nursing assistant certification. I was part of the change program. I was a mental health companion because they also have a mental health floor there that, you know, the women that stay there are pretty much locked in cells because they're literally crazy and they smear poop on the wall, you know, they're just, but I would be their

mental health companion toward and you would just kind of go and sit at the door and, speak to them or talk to them. And so I made the most of my time. I did, I held on to that promise that God gave me. And I decided that I was not going to let this time beat me, that I was going to, to, you know, make the most of this time. How was your relationship with your kids during this? Oh, this is the hard part.

So I got to see my kids every day. My mom came every weekend for a year into my incarceration, you know, my first, year to my incarceration and she brought the kids every weekend. And then my grandma got sick during that time and she got real sick and she had, you know, ended up passing away. And so that was really hard for me because it was another death in my family that I wasn't there for. And so one weekend, I couldn't get a hold of my mom. Like I couldn't get a hold of anybody and I was freaking out. So they came to visitation finally. Her and my aunt came to visitation and without the kids.

And I'm like, what is going on? And they took me outside, or they, you know, we were sitting in there. And my mom told me that, you know, she had lost the kids to CPS. The CPS came and took the kids. And I broke. I mean, I was screaming. They had to, the guards had to move me outside. I was screaming.

I don't want to cry. I'm not going to cry. So that was a year into it. But that year, I had good communication on my kids. How did that change your mindset inside prison? Did it make you lose hope at all? It made me really angry at my mom. It made me really angry that I had put myself in that position,

that I had allowed myself to get to that point, that I wasn't able to get, take care of my kids. So more so I was angry at myself. And I lost hope for a little bit for a while. But I had so many good women in there surrounding me that lifted me up and encouraged me and prayed with me and let me cry to them. And I had really good social workers there that, you know, I could go up to them at any point time of the day and speak to them, talk to them.

And so I lost hope, yeah, but it was for a little while. And then God picked me back up again. Now, at all the woman you met there, what do you think was the most common reason for why they were there? A lot of drugs. A lot of drugs. Most of them had to do with men. But at that facility, they also have a sex offender program to wear. It's really an eclectic mix of people.

if you think about it. They have a child defender program there. So women, they were there for molesting their children, for murdering their children, for doing some really despicable, nasty things to kids. So there was a really a mix. But most of it was, like,

there's a lot of white-collar crimes there as well. You know, white-collar being like, I guess, tax evasion or, you know, stuff like that. So there was an eclectic mix of people at that prison for sure. Now, abused or killed children, how are they treated? Stigmatized.

They're not, like, beaten up daily or anything, like in a men's prison. They're not taken behind, you know, somewhere and beaten up or whatever. But they're definitely ostracized in a lot of ways. But they also had a lot of privileges there to where, like, you know, they could go and be like, oh, so-and-so is, you know, and bullying me or whatever because of my charge. and, you know, but you don't really know who you, unless from word of mouth be, like, unless, you know, you say somebody's like, do not, why are you hanging out with that person? Like, do you not know what her charges? Like, there was this one girl, Mary Bradley that I had

gotten close to. She was such a cool girl, like such a cool chick. And we got along really well. And we're hanging out in the day room. And one of my friends comes up in, I was like, why are you hanging out with her? Do you not know what she did? I'm like, no, I have no idea what she didn't. know, I haven't asked her. She had done some pretty bad things to her, to her, some very disgusting things to her, to her child. And I stopped, you know, I just, I couldn't, couldn't be your friend anymore, you know, but you don't know really who your roommate is. You don't really know what they're there for unless kind of word of mouth. Because it's not like, like, I hear a lot of stories in men's prisons where they're like, oh, well, you carry around your papers or whatever, you've got

to show your papers. It's not like that. You don't carry around your papers and show your papers. you know, women's prisons really. Now, how did that make you feel being around women like that, especially as a mother yourself? Mad, mad. And the amount of time that they get is what makes me the most mad. We're talking like five years, ten years, you know, but you've got women in here who, I have one friend who her husband was selling drugs and she was just literally in the room and she wasn't selling drugs, she wasn't a part of it.

She got a life sentence. because it was her first time ever being locked up, and she got a live sentence. There's women in there for their very first times ever being in trouble, not even with criminal history like mine with 30, 40-year sentences, life sentences. And there's women that are making their children,

letting their children do things with men and letting men do things to their children, taking pictures of it, putting it on the internet, and abusing their children with curling irons and things like that, and they're getting five, ten years, and they're getting out before us. and that it's i don't think that that's right what does the time feel like as the years go on um

it got easier um i really liked i like i liked the structure i liked the women i was felt important in there because i had such a good relationship with um you know the pat the the chaplains and things like that i was trusted to do christmas programs i had a really good relationship and different jobs with people I felt I felt important. Eventually I got after I did three years because they told me when I first got there that I would never make it to the camp for the 20 year sentence. And so one thing that happened while I was in there is a law passed where you were able to go in and ask for a two-point reduction on your sentence. And so I was able to petition my judge, judge means and sent him in paperwork and I got a reduction in my sentence. He grant, he approved it,

even though the prosecutor said not to, he approved it. And so I got a two-point reductions, which took my sentence from 20 years to I believe 16 years. So I got that that happened in there. So that helped me as well. But I eventually got to the camp, which is basically in Carswell, It's like an old motel hotel looking thing. And the women, we have our own rooms. There's like six different women, six women that live in the room, but we have our own bathroom. We have our own doors that we can shut. It's by the lake.

And they used to do, God, they used to do talent shows. And, you know, the fireworks shows are right on the lake because that's at the base. And you used to be able to go and sit outside of the, in the grass and watch the fireworks be right above you. It was just really nice. You don't have to worry about like a time where you can walk. I mean, there's a time you have to go to bed. But from like six in the morning until like 10 at night, you can just walk roam freely around the camp and go to, you know, work out or whatever.

So I got moved there after three years in the high security prison. And when I went to the camp, I started to have a dog training program there. So I started training dogs. And I did that for the last five years that I was there. And I worked my way up from like a dog walker to a head dog. trainer. So that was, I just did a lot in there. Like I said, I felt important. I felt like I was making a difference. I was contributing to society, especially in the dog program, because I was helping people with disabilities. And God, God is there the whole time. How does it feel to,

you know, find that purpose when you don't, you know, have it for so long in your life, or you've never felt it before? It was amazing. I was, I was, it sounds really weird. It sounds crazy. but I was happy there. I was honestly, even with all the bad stuff, I mean, I'm not saying like losing my kids, that was absolutely devastating to me. And it was the worst thing that it ever happened to me. But I had to suppress that. I had to bury it because I couldn't live, I couldn't live every day with that.

Like I, and I know it might seem cold-hearted or whatever, but I had to for myself bury that deep, deep, deep inside of me and go on living my life because I had all this time ahead of me. Even with the time, you know, the time change. I wasn't supposed to get released when I first got locked up until 2031. With the two-point reduction, I wasn't even supposed to leave, you know, 27, 28. So I had all this time in front of me that I had to do. And I had to live it. So the dog program was like really what saved me for sure and gave me purpose and made me feel like I was giving back and doing something good for the community and doing something good. No, it's 2006 right now. How are you able to get out early?

So when I was in, right before President Trump left office, the first time, you know, the first time he left office, a friend of mine came up to me and was like, have you filed for your clemency yet? And clemency, I don't know, people might not know what clemency is, but clemency is something that you can apply for to the pardon attorney to try. and, you know, get a president to, you know, either, you know, basically let you out early or, you know, take time off your sentence. So I had a friend and she was like, have you filed for clemency yet? And I was like, no, I haven't filed for clemency. And she's like, well, you need to file. And I'm like, okay. So I'm like, all right, I'll file, whatever, you never know. So I filed for

clemency. And we started this, there was this group of, another girl that was working with a lawyer on the outside, her name's Jane Murray. And she does basically, she did under the Obama administration. She had done a lot of the clemencies that he had granted. She just does her students work on them. She works on them, and that's what she advocates for. So one of my other friends hooked us up with like a group of girls with this part, with this attorney, Jane Murray. And she came and started working with us on our clemencies. And so it just kind of, you know, I didn't really think anything would happen or whatever. But it's a funny story. And I don't really tell a story often. But we were watching a Dallas Cowboy game. And they were down, like completely down. I mean, there was no,

no possibility than coming back. And I was like, in my mind, I was like, God, if I'm going to get clemency, let the Cowboys come back and win this game. And I swear to God, they can. came back and they won that game, right? So I hold on to that. I'm like, oh, yes, I'm getting clemency, okay? So I'm telling everyone, I'm going home, right? I'm leaving. I'm going home.

So I held on to that. So anyways, Jane Murray is working behind the scenes. You know, she's, you know, she's working for us. And, you know, I'm kind of starting to get a little hopeful and, you know, whatever. I even tell my chaplain, I'm like, just so you know, I'll be leaving, you know, deuces. And all that. So we're waiting, we're waiting, we're waiting. She comes to talk to us.

And then finally, she ends up, I believe, calling my mom and telling her that, that, well, she ends up calling my mom and telling her that, you know, don't, don't, you know, don't get too much hope into it. But I've got a group of people that are kind of in with Ivanka Trump that, you know, that know her and we're trying to get your, the story, your daughter's story in front of, you know, Ivanka Trump. And so I was like, okay, I'm going home, right? Avonka Trump. Yeah. yeah, I'm going home. So I'm still holding on to that. And so I'm in the dog program. We just get puppies, right? So we got these puppies the night before, two days before Trump left office. So we get these puppies. No, it was a day before. And, you know, I've got a brand new puppy.

I'm up all night, you know, with a puppy. And I have a counselor. His name is Mr. Franklin, amazing counselor. And he was our counselor there. And so I'm outside with the puppy. And I'm, you know, doing the dog thing. And he's walking by. I'm like, what are you doing here on your day off, you know? Like, what are you doing here? He's like, you haven't heard anything? Because we're watching Trump leave the, and at that point, we're watching Trump get in the plane and leave. And I'm like, oh, they haven't announced anything. It's over with, right? I'm done. So I see him walking by and I'm like, what the way you don't know? What are you doing here? And so he walks to his dog. He's like, you haven't heard anything? I'm like, heard what?

What are you talking about? You know, we just got dogs. Did you hear about that? And he's like, come in my office for a second. And I was like, okay. So I have my dog in my arms. I'm going to go into his office, Mr. Franklin's office. And he's like, you really haven't heard anything. And I'm like, Mr. Franklin heard what? Like, what are you talking about? And he's like, you've got clemency. And I'm like, almost dropped my dog. And I'm like, are you kidding? You're kidding me. You're joking me, right? Like, you're kidding. And he's like, no. He calls my mom. And he's like, here, let me, calls my mom. Mama gets on the phone. She starts screaming. I'm like, mom, do I go? And she's like, yes. She's like, yes, I've been up all night. Jane Murray called me, you know, this early in the morning. And she,

you know, and Ivanka Trump, and she said, you know, Ivanka Trump read of your story and she fell in love with it. And Ivanka Trump herself told me that, you know, she put it in front of her dad and her dad is signing your daughter's clemency and she's coming home. And I was like, oh my God, right? And I had this dog, right? I just started screaming. I ran after I got the phone. I ran out of Mr. Franklin's office. I ran into the dog girls' rooms. And I'm like, I'm going home. I got clemency. And I'm like, here, take this dog, right? And so I give the dog away and I'm running from room to room. We're on lockdown mentioned because it's COVID, right?

So the whole camp is on lockdown. And I'm running for room to room to room to room, just don't care. And a friend of mine else who was in the dog program, she also had the same attorney and filed for clemency. So when I went in there and told her, I felt so bad, I was like, I got clemency. And she's like, what? And then Mr. Franklin was like, you know, Caroline, come to that. So she goes to his office.

She ended up getting clemency. So basically all the women at the camp who Jane Murray worked with, she got all of our stories before Ivanka Trump. And Ivanka read them and gave them to her father. And we all got clemency. There were four women at the camp that got clemency. How much time did you end up doing? Seven years total.

What was it like getting out after getting clemency? Oh, my God. We didn't know if we were getting out that day or not because they have the option to like, you know, okay, say, okay, we'll take this much time off. you can get up in a year. So when we found out that we were getting out that day, like, I'm talking, you've got the chaplain coming over. I'm telling the chaplain, I told you I'm leaving on Clemency.

Like, I told you, you know, and Mr. Franklin and everybody, and you're going to say goodbye everybody, you're packing your stuff, you're giving everything away, and it was just so fast. It was like a rush. It just all happened so fast because it was the same day. And so I got all my stuff, and, you know, we went across the street. We were all waving by and everything, and we were just kind of sitting there. We had to sit in there and wait forever, and for our families to come pick us up, you know, because they drive you to the location to where your families can meet you.

And we're just waiting and waiting and then when they finally drive us to my mom, and they let out of the car and you're like, I'm free. You know what I mean? Like, I'm free. I'm not prison grays, but I'm free. And I just run and I hug my mom. And we get in the car and it's just like, let's go. I'm like, let's get out of here.

Let's get away from this place. And so I leave. and had my first meal was Waterburger, but it was so surreal. And I needed to go get stuff from the store, right? Because I needed some stuff. And I remember the first time going into Walmart, and I was like, overwhelmed to the max, being around all those people, having all those choices. Like, it was rough.

It was rough. I couldn't make a decision. I couldn't make a choice for a very long time. And I couldn't sleep. Like for the first like three weeks, I think, I couldn't sleep. It was just like, I was just amazing. I was kind of in shock, I think. It was just crazy.

How many of you were there that got clemency? There was a like, like a, it was a list of, I should have brought, I was going to bring my actual clemency paper here to you so I could show, show you or show it. There was at least maybe, I think like 100 people on the list or 70 to 100. What about in that prison itself? Four. Four, okay. Yeah, just the four of us that worked.

with Jane Murray. Now, how was getting out this time different than the last time you had gotten out of prison? Well, for one thing, my mom had gotten sober whenever she lost to kids. She had been sober after that. That broke her. And she had gotten sober. So I went out to, you know, I went out to soberness. But I had changed while I was in prison. I had the, I had finally grown up, I guess, and I had changed inside internally. Everything about me. side had changed. My perspective, my outlook, my everything, my soul. Do you think you needed that seven years? I did. I don't know if I needed 20, but I needed that seven. I might have needed 10. You know what I mean? Like, like, like, or whatever.

I think that honestly, the five years that I started like that, because the longest I'd ever served was 18 months, you know, and I, I don't think that's enough time for a lot of women or a lot of people who are very deeply involved in the drug world. I think that you should have to probably do a minimum of, this might be an unpopular opinion, but I think that you should have to do a minimum of three years. How have you been able to rebuild your life since coming home? Very, very good.

We started off in like a little RV when I first came home because I was what my mom's living in. And then I got a job. A friend of mine got me a pretty good job, started making really good money. And I held that job. and we saved up money and got an apartment. And then I got an opportunity for another job,

work from home job that I've been at for three years. And so we've kind of moved on up a little bit into a nicer apartment. I have gotten back in contact with two of my children now. Three, I'm sorry, three of my children now. And so I have a relationship with them now that I, you know, wish I, I could have done so many things differently, but at least I'm here now with them.

So it's, it's been, it's been good. It's been, it's been great. I've done things that I've never done before. I've traveled. I've gone places because I never did anything when I was on drugs. It was always getting high or selling or going to somebody's house or it was, I didn't go to the movies, I didn't go out to eat. I didn't go on trips.

I didn't, I didn't do anything, nothing. wasted my entire life from the age of 13 to 28. How's your relationship with your mom now? Much better. Much better. And she's here with us today, watching all of this. And hearing it. It's cool to see the, you know, the full circle moment.

Yeah. And it took way too long to get sober and to learn my lesson. But I honestly think that if the feds hadn't, if the feds hadn't happened to me, I don't think I would have stopped. I would have kept going until I just went. I mean, I knew that I would probably get arrested with a whole bunch of dope, like, because I was selling, like, I knew that I would, somebody would pull me over, a cop would pull me over, and I would get more jail time.

But I had no idea it would be the federal time. And I'm telling you, watch out for them feds because they're serious. What would you tell your teenage self if you could sit across from her today? I would tell her that she is more than she ever thought that she was and that she's not less than and that to accept her beauty and to accept, you know, things about herself and that she that she's loved and that she's wanted because that was, you know, I mean, one of the main reasons why drugs felt made me feel wanted or I needed or whatever. And I didn't have any self-esteem and it gave me self-esteem. I think that was one of the attentions and, you know, so much of the

draws to it. Well, Tara, I really appreciate you coming out on the show today. It was great to finally meet you. And, you know, I wish you the best in the future. Thank you. Thank you.