Locked In with Ian Bick - I Was an Addicted Dealer — Prison Changed My Life | Steve Fusco

Episode Date: September 8, 2025

Steve Fusco grew up in Connecticut, raised by a single mom and a solid support system—but teenage trouble sent him to military school. In college, experimentation turned into using and selling drugs, a slide into addiction, and multiple arrests. After failing to get clean, Steve was sentenced to 2 years in Connecticut state prison—the wake-up call that changed everything. Inside, he rebuilt from the ground up. Today he’s sober, a successful business owner, and on a mission to show what redemption really looks like. #AddictionRecovery #Sobriety #RedemptionStory #PrisonStories #SecondChances #TrueCrime #EntrepreneurLife #connecticut Connect with Steve Fusco: http://Rejoicerestore.com Hosted, Executive Produced & Edited By Ian Bick: https://www.instagram.com/ian_bick/?hl=en https://ianbick.com/ Presented by Tyson 2.0 & Wooooo Energy: https://tyson20.com/ https://woooooenergy.com/ Use code LOCKEDIN for 20% OFF Wooooo Energy Buy Merch: http://www.ianbick.com/shop Timestamps: 00:00 Introduction & Guest Background 02:10 Childhood, Family, and Early Influences 05:52 School Years and Beginning of Trouble 09:08 Military School and College Aspirations 13:13 College Years and Exposure to Drugs 18:14 Path to Addiction & Early Drug Dealing 24:02 Addiction, Career Attempts & Downward Spiral 30:37 Peak Drug Dealing & Double Life 37:15 Cycles of Recovery, Addiction, and Jail 42:08 Rock Bottom: Prison and the Wake-Up Call 46:44 Life Inside Prison and Rebuilding 51:20 Programs, Hope, and New Mindsets 01:00:46 Reentry: Starting Over and Business Journey 01:07:02 Finding Purpose: Relationships and Faith 01:10:53 Servant Leadership & Uplifting Others 01:13:03 Advice, Reflection & Closing Thoughts Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Once you got there, were you still scared or did it seem better than what you expected it to be? I was a little, I'm not going to lie, man, I was a little nervous. I didn't know where I was going. How much would you say you were making at the time? 10 grand a week on a bad week. What's something you wish you knew back then that you know now? Steve Fosco grew up in Connecticut, raised by a single mom with a solid upbringing, then high school trouble sent into military school.

In college, he started using and selling drugs, spiraled into addiction and multiple arrests, and eventually got two years in Connecticut State Prison the moment everything changed. Inside, he rebuilt from the ground up. Today, Steve is sober and a successful business owner. In this episode, he breaks down how it all unraveled, the wake-up call behind bars, and the blueprint he uses to stay clean and win. Steve, welcome to Lockton, man. Thanks so much for reaching out.

a friend from the past and connecting coming on the show. Yeah, yep, yeah. Thanks for having me, man. Yeah, it's crazy what social media allows things to happen, you know, connections following up with people from the past and stuff. Yes. Who would have thought we'd be sitting here today? No, especially with our stories, who would thought, right? Yeah.

Yeah, no, definitely it's a blessing to be here. Yeah, and thanks to Hank for getting you to reach out too. Yeah. Hank was a guest on the show. Yes, yeah. Now, I want you to plug in your business at the top of this episode. Tell everyone what you're doing and whatnot. So we specialize in storm damage claims for homeowners with roofing, siding, anything that's been damaged by the wind.

I'm sure you know there's been a lot of wind out here. And we help homeowners basically get approved by their insurance company. So $1,000 to get a brain of roof or siding or anything that has been, you know, damaged by the elements. And they're actually protected by a public act that was written in Hartford in 2013. We do solar, we do interior, we do exterior, and we're all over Connecticut. So another blessing. And we'll have your website in the description and everything like that too. All right, cool.

Did you grow up in Connecticut? I did. I grew up right in New Milford here on Candlewood Lake. On the actual lake itself? In a lake community, probably 10 seconds off the lake, 20 seconds off the lake, yeah. But not right on the water, no. Were you an only child? I was an only child.

The family down the road, actually, their father was like my father. He taught me out a water ski, taught me on a snow ski. And, you know, we did everything together. Michael was my best friend, and he was my best friend. I did everything with their family and vice versa. Was your dad not in the picture? He was, but not like, you know, he always paid his bill. And he just, you know, maybe I struggled a little bit.

bit of the fatherlessness problem in America. Yeah, but, you know, I talk to him now. You know, forgiveness, man. You got to forgive. Was he never in the picture as a kid? He would come around, but not like around. But it's not like he's a bad guy. He's not like hooked on drugs.

He's not like, you know, he's just not a good father. Everyone else loves him. Great guy. But just wasn't always always there in the picture, put it that way. How'd your mom explain that dynamic to you when you were young? I don't remember, man I'll be honest, I don't remember I don't remember. What do your mom

do for work? My mom today, she works for major pharmaceutical and she makes really good money. She worked at Durasal for years and she worked for Gillette. On top of that, she does a lot of, like I said,

right now she works for she works for Bowlinger for years and now she's transitioned into like, I really don't know what she does. She works with the doctors and the higher-ups in the medical fields. So for the pharmacies. Did you guys have a really good relationship when you were growing up? Me and my mom?

She's my best friend, man. You know, I took her through a mud ride, man. You know what I mean? But she never turned her back on me. So. But yeah, we're close, man. She's my best friend. Yeah, I think a lot of the guests on the show can relate to that,

how we all took our parents through that. Right. 100% and you know it's worse when there's no father in the picture you know there is a fatherlessness problem people don't really talk too much about that right um i'm not sure what the exact statistics is but when there's no father in the image you know it's worse right and then um you know but guys don't want to talk about that it's no i'm the big bad no but like i look back and i'm like whoa i was reaching out for something that wasn't there put it that way how big of an impact do you think that had on your childhood i think it was just later in life man you know what i mean

I was like using it as an excuse to play a victim role, right? Like now that I did some step work and I have some spiritual principles in my life, I used this as an excuse to live like a mess for many years. But I don't know. I did wonder where he was, though, like softball games, baseball games, sporting events. Why do other people have two parents and I have one? But again, it's not an excuse to live the way that I was living at all. How are you living as a kid?

I mean, I didn't go without. I lived in my grandparents and my mother. My mom worked a lot. I didn't have, you know, I had everything you could want as a kid. I looked back. I snow skied. I water skied. You know, I went to Catholic school.

And I grew up pretty good. I didn't go without anything. I wasn't abused, you know. I wasn't, I came from a really good family that tried to instill values in me that I just wasn't ready to hear until I was ready to hear. What kind of kid would you say you were? Were you getting into trouble at all or just a normal kid? Not until like 15, man.

Like, you know, I went to Catholic school my whole life and then I went to a MacLet as a freshman and then I started hanging out with people that I shouldn't have been hanging out with, older people, right? And, you know, then I left Amkelet and went to New Milford High School and then I was seeing people could skip class and like do all this stuff that wasn't always.

allowed and it seemed to more fun, right? Do you think going to private school had a positive or a negative influence on your life? I think a positive because that's where I, you know, I do remember now that I look back and I'm like, you know, I was, I was a great kid. I did say yes, ma'am and yes, sir. And, you know, who knows where I would have been without that, right? So. I remember being in Denver High School having friends at Immaculate.

They did a lot of drugs at Obaculate because they could afford the better stuff. Yeah I mean Drugs require money, right? Until they don't And you start doing stuff You know, people start doing stuff To get them that doesn't, you know

That they shouldn't be But it was a lot of drugs In that school probably You know But there's just as many in public school It's the public school kids Giving it to them I guess right Put it that way

I don't know if that makes sense When you're in high school What were your dreams for the future Aspiration's goals? Yeah, man, I was supposed to be a brain surgeon. You know, that's what I wanted then, right? And I wasn't... If you told me I would be owning a roofing company and a solar company one day,

I would have been like, yeah, no, I don't think so. If you told me that when I met you, I would have said the same thing. No, 100% no. Like, I would be out here trying to sell hope today. And that... Yeah, I thought I was going to get what I have today, like financial freedom, a wife and a family, and, like, spiritual principles.

I was going to be able to still live the life I was living and have it today at the same time. So that was always a goal. You always wanted that? I believe everyone wants to, you know, have a family, right? And, you know, create wealth, right? Like, you know what I mean? I was just blinded in the fact that I thought I was going to get it,

by the way I was doing things. You know, like I had the wrong idols and I hung out with the wrong people and the wrong environments. Today I know that I'm not going to get what I have today by partaking anything from the past, put it that way. So what happens after high school? Do you go to college? So mid-high school, I ended up going to military school, all boys in Wayne, Pennsylvania. It got to the point to where I was acting now a little bit too much.

I got a little trouble for fighting. And my mother sent me to an all-boys military school. I was skipping class. I was doing all the stuff that I never had done before until I went to a public school. And yeah, I went there. And I actually graduated because if she didn't send me there, I probably wouldn't have graduated.

It was structured. And crazy to say, I succeed in a structure environment. And from there, I went to Quinepiac. Wow, I didn't realize you went to a military school. school, what was that like? Was it hard? It was structured, man. And it was high school kid being, it was cadet ran. So long story short is, you had like

eighth graders telling what you do. And I went there as a sophomore in 95. And as soon as we get through, you go through plebe plebe system, six weeks of no phone, no nothing, being told what to do. And I, you know, I was a little bit spoiled as a kid. So I got little kids telling me what to do, and it's all at rent. So it's like, you know, officers and stuff like that that are in charge of you and telling

you when to wake up. And I'll never forget the day. I woke up in the morning, man, and it was ba-b-b-b-bba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba- get up, get out of your racks. I was like, what is going on? My mom's paying $30,000 a year for this? Where's the maid? And, um, but if she didn't send me there, I probably want to graduate high school. Were you surprised? She sent

you there? She gave me an option. Either you're going to go live with your father or you're going to go to military school. And I chose military school. Wow, so the relationship with your dad wasn't even that great then? No. You chose military school over that? Yeah.

What was he doing for work at the time? He drove trucks. He drove trucks. I had it way better with my mother, you know. Now, did military school give you the idea to maybe go into the military, or it was just? It did at first, but then I had asthma because, like, it was kind of cool. They had a two-year ECP program there where, like, you know, you can get your second lieutenant, which is like West Point, the Citadel, and all these other schools.

It takes four years to get it. They actually early commission you in two years. And I flirted with the idea, but, you know, they said I had asthma and I want to be able to do it. So it kind of just went out the window. So did you get your actual high school diploma at the military school? I did. Yeah. Actually, the book A Catch from the Rye by J.D. Salinger, that's really, they call it Pensie prep in there,

but it's written about Valley Forge Military Academy. Oh, it is? Yeah. Oh, we read that in high school. Yeah, yeah. I think I forget about it. But yeah, no, that's the school. It's got a lot of tradition behind it.

And, you know, it was a good experience, though. What did you go to Quinepiac for? I wanted to be a lawyer, man. You know, I was justice in law. And I was really undecided, man. And long story short, I just went in there and just started taking the prerequisites. But I didn't get any credit in my first year, man. Quinnipiac was where

I got out of the the structure environment of a military academy I came home from military school and all my friends were guess what they were doing they were out there in the mix and

you know they all had parasucco jeans and you know bubble gooses and true religions when they were still like you know they really cost a lot of money and you know Nike's and everything Jordans and I was like

well how did you get this stuff man was like did your mom buy that because at that point my mom bought me everything And, you know, I got into seeing what they were doing to get money, put it that way. So you think if you never went back to Connecticut, you would have been better off? At the time, I know everything worked out well in the end, but... I don't know, man. You bring yourself wherever you go.

So location changes don't really... I wasn't ready to have what I have today then. I was still lost in the sauce, man. Maybe if I had some different people around me, but I've always had people in me trying to send me something else. I was still attracted, at that time, attracted to a different kind of lifestyle. Do you think your mom sheltered you too much growing up? I think my mom did the best that she knew how, right? She didn't know.

There's no book on a kid. She did spoil me a little bit. You know, I was her baby boy. I think I was told yes way too much, which made me a nasty salesman later in life. Can I turn this thing off a quick? Sorry about that. No, you're good. and because I don't like to hear the word no

let me see here I'll just pull him power off the audience will appreciate you yeah I'm working on it this stupid Samsung right we've got to get you an iPhone God is done all right so I apologize and no but I think she

she might have sheltered me a lot I was sheltered man I wasn't ever shown anything bad I wasn't ever like showed any kind of like the stuff that I went to. It was never brought up like that. It wasn't brought up my house. My grandparents were hardworking, you know, second generation Italians that like busted their ass to get what we have to leave to the next generation. There's not there's not people like that anymore. What we have today, my grandparents busted their butt.

So you see your friends, groups of people doing kind of probably a least. things or that type behavior what interest did you about that why did you like that because you were never introduced to that as a kid they had the stuff that I liked you know I seen MTV rat you know all that stuff influenced me man like I'm not there's nothing I could say other than that I like the way that they made money doing it you know and I'm an entrepreneur I know today I'm an entrepreneur today I know that I have talents right and like I thought I was going to be able to get it all and it was easy and you know like I said who doesn't like pair Jordans right who doesn't like all that nice

stuff and it just came so easy to them and and now I look back and I'm like man that's how talented am because I learned something that like I was never taught really fast USAA knows dynamic duos can save the day like superheroes and sidekicks or auto and home insurance with USAA you can bundle your auto and home and save up to 10%. Tap the banner to learn more and get a quote at usaa.com slash bundle. Restrictions apply. Lots of

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sale now and get up to 20% off at avocado mattress.com. or select retailers nationwide. Visit avocadosattress.com. That's avocado mattress.com. Test, you know. Do you remember the first time you were introduced to that lifestyle? When I came home from military school, I'll never forget it. You know, someone was like, oh, have you ever done this?

And, you know, of course I lied because I wanted to fit in. You know what I mean? A lot of, like, recovering drug guys will think back and talk about it. Like, listen, I just wanted to fit in. I didn't know where I fit in, right? and it took off from there, like trying drugs for the first time, and then, you know, being all to sell them as well. You know what I mean?

That's kind of where it came in. Yeah, when I came home from military school. What was the first drug you tried? It drank a few times. First time I had a drink was on Lovers Leap in New Milford. Yeah, that was before military school. And then maybe I smoked a little weed before military school. And then I went there, didn't do nothing.

Came home and, you know, everybody was doing, you know, the people that I was friends with were doing cocaine. and um you know unfortunately tried it and and you know what it does what it's supposed to do like it works right like i did it the first time loved it fell in love with it um it was a solution to the underlying problem now today i know that like i was using it for a different problem like you were talking about the root right the dad the this to that and it'll probably alleviated some of that pain right which not probably definitely alleviated some of that pain and um until it became problem if that makes sense did you end up finishing at QU I did not I didn't get one credit my

first year I partied my mother's whatever it cost then I think it was like 35 grand a year was 90 I graduated high school 97 um she was pissed she could have bought her Lexus cash um I ended up graduating college from Westcon which I don't downgrade the school um I got a bachelor's in finance but like I just passed by I went to central I went back to the military academy because they have a junior college there. And I went back and forth from Western to Central, and I ended up finishing with a finance degree. I went into Westcon one day.

You asked me earlier what my major was, and I went into Westcon and to the business department. I was undecided. And I saw pictures $100 bills on the pamphlet for finance, did not realize how much math was involved. And I chose that. Why do you think money always interested you? Like you wanted the lawyer or the doctor, you want a nice career.

So just like nice things. You know, if you work, listen, if you're going to try to get them the wrong way, well, then they're going to disappear. But if you work hard and, you know, you have goals, like that's, you know, successful people talk about goals. Like, they want this, they want that. Well, then they're going to work for it to get it. I generally just like nice stuff. Like, I want a boat. Like, I want to be able to take my family on a ski trip.

I want to go on a vacation. Like, I like Jordans. I like, you know, nice sneakers. I think I was just blinded in a way to like to do what I had to do to try to get that stuff, you know, and then was surrounded by other people that had that stuff and that's what they were doing, product of the environment that I surrounded myself with. You know, instead I should have been hanging out with people that I hang out with today, like people of influence, right? I read a book by Dr. Billy Allsberg, Blessing and Stable, what talks about the Power Five. If I'm hanging around with five people that are doing better than me, right? Well, then I'm a product of those people.

Like, if they treat their wife better than me, well, I'm going to treat my wife better than I do, right? If they're more spiritual than me, I'm going to be more spiritual. If they're better in their recovery than me, you know, if they're better in finances than me, well, then I'm going to start talking like them. I'm going to invest like them. I'm going to get involved in things that they're involved in. And tell me who you are. I mean, tell me who your network is.

I'll tell you either your net worth or what you're involved in. and I was just hanging out with people that were involved in the wrong stuff. What happens after Westcon once you graduate? Well, during WestCon, I was selling a lot of marijuana at that time back and forth from Plattsburgh. After Westcon, that's when the downfall happened. I think it was like 2008, man, and I met opiates.

Like, I was doing percassettes, at the time and they went away like you know was a pharmacist in Manhattan that was giving me 400 a week and you know like I didn't I really honestly truth they didn't know that they were hearing one in a pill 100% if I look back I don't I don't really I did not know and then one day I was there was a Beniggins here in town I remember that that became the dispensary now I don't know I haven't been there I haven't been around here so long like and um I'll never forget it it was like a Wednesday night was a college night and I told one of my friends I won't say their name, obviously.

And they were like, you're not sick, bro, because I thought I had to go to the emergency room. Honestly, I got the flu. He's like, you're not sick? He's like, you know those things you've been eating? Here, try this. And that was about then, right around then, when I graduated at Wisconsin.

So that's when I'm a heroin, you know, and that's when the ugliness came, because that became number one in my life. I did a lot of rehabs. I did a lot of stints. I did, you know, like, you know, I know it was part of the problem instead of the solution. You know, that thing came so important to me.

I would be that guy, oh, I don't shoot it. I, you know, I only sniff it, right? Until I did. I took my family through a muck, man. Embarrassed me, and the rest started to come. But I truly believe I went through all that to try to sell hope to other people one day. They don't have to live like that, you know. Were you ever able to get a successful career going after college,

like work a normal job or it was just all strictly drug dealing? I did. I worked for a company that sold paper products, actually down in Norwalk. I was their lead sales guy for a while and then, you know, throughout the mess and everything else, I just lost track of that. And then I worked for a, what do you want to say, the diesel, like manufacturer, like products for diesel mechanics, right? number one bolt dealer in the world that worked for them.

I was one of their top sales guys like all my friends were like, how do you do this and you show up and I was active at the time. And when, you know, I really go over my amends list again, I got to make amends to that boss that I had at the time because he believed in me.

All my bosses always believed in me. Listen, you have a talent that we can't train. Like you can't train. You have a gift that like we can't train. And I never understood that until now. But, you know, know it was just i i i know i had a company vehicle where they paid for my lincoln like it was um but it all i lost it all because i was showing up high and everything else but i did have a

a decent job but no career no where was your mom throughout the the height of your addiction especially after college i lived with her a lot like i was homeless man like at the end of the day like if you don't make key to your own apartment you're homeless like you know when when i me and you were crossing past. I had my own apartment. You know, I had two girlfriends. I thought I was cool, right? Like, um, my mom was just there in embarrassment. Like, I mean

embarrassment. Like, like, why are you living like this? Like, we're not like this. Like, can you, like, talk to me? Like, and I would just, she would be embarrassed. Like, she would go to the grocery store and people would be like, oh, you're his mom. Like, it wasn't, we live in a small community, especially New Milford.

Everybody knew, like, who I was, right? Like, or what I did, and I, Like, I put her through, like, a lot of embarrassment, man. Did your mom ever try to have, like, an intervention with you or send you off again? And my mom would have did anything to fix me, man. I remember when there was a Dr. Rossenberger here in New Fairfield, suboxin that just came on the scene. She, and it wasn't, they just didn't give it out then.

Like, the doctor was only limited to a certain amount of patients. I think it cost it like $7,000 just to get on it. It was not even a, you had to pay cash to get on it. She tried that. She would. She brought me to meeting. She brought me to methadone. She would do whatever.

Like, it would to help me. I just wasn't ready to hear it. But she was always there. This program, that program. And then there was times where, like, I wasn't, like, I was getting enough money to where, like, you couldn't tell I was an addict, right? Like, it was hidden.

Like, I mean, people knew I used drugs, but at the same time, you know, like, but when it, became the bitter ends at the end, you know, and then arrested and then things she was always there. No, you seem very business oriented and to be business oriented, you're kind of thinking, I can't do my own supply or use drugs because that'll affect your bottom line. Why did you do both? Man, listen, I was trapped by the lies, man.

Like, you know what I mean? Like, look, Biggie Smalls writes the song, set crack commandments. Like, you know what I mean? Like, I was trapped by the lies like that. that like I could do this and they by by what was it commandment number four you know I would become my best customer but then I would like go get cleaned up for 30 days right but I didn't know work on myself but I would be able to cold turkey for like six months stack up a lot of money and then become my best customer again you know what I'm saying so like I would

separate myself stop using and then focus on on creating wealth that way like an idiot being you know but I just I don't know man I don't know Do you think using the drugs gave you a different personality Of course Because I wasn't

Using the drugs Robbed me from the God-given talents That God gave me man Right Like I look back now and I I used all these talents That I have You know

And I used them as liabilities Right Like no one wanted me around But like You look at it as good and evil Right The enemy was using me to go with his plan. And all these talents that I have today with growing a company,

I used, like, you know, in the streets. Now I look back and I'm like, well, I found God. I found recovery. Now I use my talents in a way that, like, I'm helping others. Because I'm tenacious, right? Like, I'm convincing. But today it's for a good purpose. Because I know when I go somewhere, I'm basically,

I'm helping a homeowner get a roof. I'm helping them save on their electric bill. I'm not out there trying to comp people And I believe in my heart On the products that I sell today Which the number one is hope Right? We gotta sell hope So 2013 comes along

I meet you That was when I first took over The front part of Tuxedo Junction And all I really knew about you Was that you were in a motorcycle club And that you sold drugs Yeah That's really all I knew

You want to tell us about like the time frame What you were doing at that point Man Yeah, man I was lost and broken And I didn't know it yet And I was

You know I had a motorcycle And I did And that was the image That I wanted people to see of me Like and I thought that Like that image made me something special Today I know I was totally wrong

Right But that's That's what I thought was Cool man There's no other excuse for it Right I thought that was I was cool, you know?

Meanwhile, now I look back and I'm like, how blinded was I? Like, like, I couldn't, nobody wanted me around. You know, I was disrespecting women. I was disrespecting myself. I had to do, through some stepwork, I had to, you know, forgive myself for that too, because, like, I held a lot of resentment towards myself, you know, for like, whoa, how was I living? You know what I mean?

I was not, I was really part of a problem that's like killing people. Like at the end of the day, like that's what I was doing. Today, like, I try to be the solution to that problem. And in fact, I don't try, I do. But blinded, just blinded, man. I don't know. That was the image that, you know, I wanted people to think that I was tough. Meanwhile, I was not tough.

Do you think you were looking for, like, family? I mean, the brothers in a club like that? Yeah, again, getting back to that fatherlessness problem, man. Like, you know, the sense of love, right? The sense of like a so-called fake love, though, like at the end of the day, like I said that I look back on it now. But yeah, I was definitely probably looking for that. You know, that's probably 100% true. I think today's the first day I've ever seen you not in one of those leather jackets because I would always see you in one of those, you guys would wear those leather jackets.

Right. So now I look back and I'm like, if I can wrap it for someone else, why can I wrap it for me and God? Like, that's how I look at it, right? Like, I would ride that thing around 100% to the dead. And I wore it everywhere I went. And I don't knock it. And I don't judge people in anything like that either. That's where they're at and their season in their life.

I just know today, I got my eye on a bigger price. You know what I'm saying? And it's about helping addicts and grow and rejoice and restore. and giving back to the community that I stole so much from, if that makes sense. Now, was that at the peak of your drug dealing in 2013? Probably. Because I had, you know, I was, what I think is money then, but like, now I know it was peanuts, but yeah, I had money to invest, you know, with you and things like that.

Like, yeah, I mean, I had two cars. I had a motorcycle, like all this stuff, this material stuff that I thought built, like, you know my outside core and like meanwhile was broken inside but yeah that was probably the peak man 100% I was how much would you say you were making at the time only 10 grand a week on a bad week that's a pretty good yeah back then too like maybe you know there was one point when I was 23 when it was just marijuana this was way before that was like probably 2007 2006 it was a lot more than that um but yeah probably about that and who is your clientele was it all local people or yeah

Yeah. Just Danbury area? Yeah. And you had lived at Danbury at that point. I did New Milford, Brookfield, Danbury within the surrounding area, yeah. And what would you say was like your average demographic you were selling to? Is it younger, older, white, Spanish, black?

Whoever. Whoever, you know? Yeah. And are these all big time users or are they just people that want to retail it to someone else? Like they're buying it? I had a mix of both at the time. I had a mix of both. At the end, it just was just people that, you know, were the same as me, right?

Like, just we were using together. But during the time, it would be both. Like, if they, I could get whatever they wanted, put it that way. At that time period, how bad it was your own addiction? I think at that point it was one of the times when I met you, when I wasn't really doing too many drugs. I was, you know, I was blinded by the fact that I would be able to, To get, like I said, to get what I have today, I thought I was going to do that that way.

And, you know, and then something always happens and I become my best customer. But when I met you, I don't think it was as bad. It wasn't, like, bad like that. What's something you wish you knew back then that you know now? How important God is. And spiritual principles. I live a totally different life today. I look to try to not ever go back to that guy

and, you know, be careful my character defects, if that makes sense, right? Like, instead of being around people like that, I try to bring the solution to people like that. Because there's a solution. I found a way out of that trap. I was in a trap, man. I would sell drugs. I would get some money, and then I would become my best customer,

and then I would get arrested, and then it was just a cycle of an ongoing cycle that, like, I found a way out of. right um it was pretty simple actually too i raised my hand and i asked another man for help um but i was stuck in a cycle of getting in trouble breaking the law then then you know you know sticking a needle back in my arm and it that's just how i lived my life for so long um stuck in that that that vicious cycle of addiction uh you you never use drugs so you don't you don't you don't understand that one but it's it's definitely a cycle man i think one of the things that prevented me for using drugs as I was under a microscope at such a young age.

I mean, when I got indicted, I was 19. Right. So I couldn't even really drink. Like, I was getting drug tested and that they're raiding the club and everything like that. I think maybe if that wasn't going on, I would have been a little bit different. But I was fighting for my freedom. So when I was under such a microscope, so it was hard to do.

Yeah. Just the amount of pressure, too. Yeah, no, you did. I remember going over there. I remember when you were at Tuxedo. I was like, this kid is so young, man. this kid you know like but like you're just another example like today i'm an example of what god can do with people right like turned it around and like like we're so talented and we use it for the wrong

thing and if we just take sit back and look at things and like are like whoa i look back now i'm like too i wish i knew this but if i didn't go through all that then maybe i wouldn't be here i don't know if that makes sense yeah no i agree with you i mean i feel like in my situation i got in too deep way too fast and I had like all the right intentions and it just well like I talk like when someone told me I was I was a day when I was like boy you bet right like like that's but that's another thing the spiritual principle of forgiveness man like listen I don't it's that is what it is man imagine if there's something stupid back then I wouldn't be where I am today right so like um but yeah I was so upset with you but again at that point I was I was making money and you were all legit I you had

contracts, you had everything, right? And you were paying. I was like, yo, this is great. This is better. This is awesome, right? And, like, I think you had good intentions. I don't know the whole story of it behind it. But I know, like, you were doing the clubs, the this, the that, the concerts.

And I was like, I want in with this. Like, who wouldn't want in on it? And who knows? Again, I don't believe in coincidences anymore. but yeah, I jumped right in and you paid until you didn't. And then I think that's when I think you got in over your head, like you said. Yeah, I think I would have probably ended up like severely hurt or dead by all the shit I was doing if I had bad intentions. Like I think people genuinely saw that I had good intentions and I didn't rat on anyone.

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Stop cutting me up. Price Line! Yeah, I remember, I think someone told me something that you thought that I told. on you and I was like, bro, I was like, listen, there's an insurance. Because that's how, I was trying to give you everything I had. I was like, oh, he keeps paying me. I'm going to give me.

And I had crashed the car. And I was like, here's the, here's the check to the car. And I think when they, they must have went through your bank account and saw my name on it. But I mean, I never said anything about that either. Again, I was kind of clueless to what you were doing. I just remember you had iPads. You were doing this. And, you know, but you paid for your, you paid for your mistake.

You know, you did your time. And now look, like, you had talents that, like, you had probably no idea if you, like you said, would you think you'd be doing this today? Yeah. I mean, I went from promoting nightclubs to now. This is promotion, too, but it's not a risky one. I don't have to take $40,000 to book an act. Right. It's so much better doing it this way, you know?

Right. I never want to get involved in nightclubs or anything like that ever again. Yeah. I mean, this is awesome. When they said, who told me? I remember I saw you at the, like I told you. I saw you at the, uh... That peach wave, the frozen yogurt.

Yeah, and I was like, er, I was still like, but I'll, listen, what are you going to do? Listen, if you don't forgive people, what I've learned is I hold the resentment. Now, guess what the number one trigger for relapse is? Resentment and relationships. So not if I ever get complacent and I bump in you, I'm like, hur, Ian Bick, ah, and then what? Like, oh, guess what addicts do? When they're mad and they're painful, they go relapse.

Like, oh, I'm going to show it. No, no. You got to forgive people. If you don't forgive people, you stay stuck. And now they're the people that are like your excuse to go use again. And I think time heals a lot of things too. Like when you look at the bigger picture, if 10 years, like say someone lost 10 grand 10 years ago, you look at it so much differently 10 years later than you do in the actual moment.

Yeah, no, I was in the moment I was angry. But like I said, I'm moving forward right now. And like I said, who knows, right? I don't believe in coincidence. God crossed our past time for a reason. who knows what's going to be into the future. Like, it's just, again, big, huge forgiveness thing. But you were, you were paying, man.

Like, I was, I told someone today on the phone right before I was like, I want to get a big show, man. I was like, yeah, I'll never forget it. It was like, again, it was, there was more margin than there was, you know, selling drugs. Like, yeah, it was, it was good. So I get arrested in 2015. don't see you again until like years later.

And then I go to prison 2016. What happens to you? Where's your story go? So I continued running amok, man. Like, you know, like I said, I don't like to talk about it too much because I don't like to glorify it. Right. And I don't want any. But, you know, I did.

You know, I sold drugs, man. And then the arrest started. And like, I got arrested at my best friend's condo. I embarrassed him, man. I got caught with like 30 bags of heroin in Dambury. They seized my phone because they knew what I was doing. They seized my phone in the car and blah, blah, blah, blah. They made a big deal out of it.

I got a really good lawyer in town and I got two years probation. But while I was in that jail cell, it's like I wasn't even thinking about getting out and fixing myself. I was thinking about it. I was just needed a high. And I got right back to it, man. I got arrested. I got out because I was. I was the man, right?

Like, I was so blind and a stupid man. And my mom was there speaking of my mom. And she said, we're going home, right? Yeah, thanks. I'll see you later. No, I'm not coming. No, sorry. And got right back to it.

Kept going. And then I got arrested again. I was on probation. I got arrested again in Monroe. And the British Porta had a bunch of them. And this is what I share when I go on. the prisons, man, and I tell people, like, you know, like, yeah, this is, you know, I got re-arrested. I wasn't supposed to be, you know, driving in Monroe, another sales case. I bonded myself out,

um, had to go get my car. And then bridgeport and Danbury started talking. And I had to go get bonded out and attend, because now I was on a VOP, right, because I violated probation. I, from Monroe, I got out, probation found out, hit me with another warrant. So I bonded myself out cash, 10,000 cash and um because you know i was i was the man um still doing it the judge gave me a program in florida where like lindsie lohan goes palm partners i'll never forget in delray beach i had blue cross and blue shield from that good job that i had um day ended up finding out why i was gone that what happened i think they'd be getting fired from that job i came home from that program and the judge was like yeah um you know just don't get in trouble again we'll reinstate your

probation, right? And of course, while I was in that program, I didn't do no work on myself. I didn't, you know, I thought I did 30 days. I was cured. I can come back home and now I could just like, you know, that's how I thought. Like, I could sell drugs and I could get some of the money back that I lost and I'm clean now. And then it didn't last more than two days, right? And that, and then when I share to people today, when I do, you know, meetings, I'm like, listen, there's a meeting schedule here. Like, go to meetings, right? Like, go to meetings, raise your hand and say, you don't want to go back to jail. And I didn't do that, right?

I didn't know about that yet. And I came home and I got arrested here in Danbury and at the end of Main Street. And, no, 50 more bags. I think I got set up. The cops came. They went into the building. They found the 50 bags fit five bundles,

which, you know, I did before lunchtime. And long story short on that, my mom finally didn't come get me. and she's like I talked to the lawyer she's like if I get you out now well then you know like you might never come home or you might die and the best thing she ever did for me

and um got to Bridgeport and I never did my yeah 2997 2992 is my number but I only did two weeks in Fairmont too in Bridgeport when I was like 20 so like now I'm in there with like murderers and stuff like that bro like in the turtle suits

and like I'm like I'm done I heard it before you're not done you're not done Like, I'm going to save your life. Everyone's saving my life now. And, you know, best thing ever happened to me, man. It's 37 years old. January 3rd, 2018, when I got arrested down there.

And, you know, I did the four months in the county, and they were supposed to give me what's called the JRI bet. I don't know if you ever heard of J.R.I. Bed, you don't use drugs. So J.I. Beds where you do some time in the county. And you get to go to, like, a long-term program, a six-month program. And I was basically approved for that And I did the four months We went to sentencing and the judge was like

Mr. Fusco, I got to save your life, man I gave you programs before You went to Florida, you spit in my face I'm gonna give you all two years that you owe And I said, whoa You know, I was curate On the time in county doesn't count either So that didn't count and at first I was cursing

Now I realized God did for me What I couldn't do for myself, right? That judge saved my life just like he said he was going to do. I, you know, went to Sibolsky, which was like an adult daycare. And best thing ever happened to me. So it gave you two years? He did. And is there a way to get out early?

I mean, is there a way to get out early? I did 15 months on it because, well, if you count the county time, I did about 15 months. So, and that was about it. Do you think that the system gave you too many chances? I mean, you were able to, if your mom let you, you would have been. been able to bond out again that last time and probably would have went back to selling drugs too. Right, but maybe I would have got a lot longer time. Listen, I think they try to help people, but I also think that they, they do, for me, I can only speak for what worked for me. I can't

speak for what will work for someone else. But until my mom turned her back on me, I never would have got this thing. Because now I'm in a cage. I'm not meant for a cage. You know what it's like, right like that we can relate to we can we can agree on that being in that building is no fun man anyone assists there i tell guys when i go into prison today i'm like yo they talk about 90 days is a skid bin oh i could do a year a year yo bro why don't you give this program a year one year of your time you got so many god-given talents you don't even know what doors got to open you he's running around here talking about a year is easy come on you'll sleep through a year that's ignorant years a long time man and and and and from going from

from living like, you know, with a cleaning lady in a car and like, like, to be in like a cage or someone else is pooping and you're right there. And, like, nah, it's what it took from me. And I just never wanted to go back to that place. I see so many articles of people that bond out and then they get re-arrested and re-arrested, especially in, like, Connecticut. And, you know, you read those News Times articles. Well, listen, I mean, they want to program.

people and again, I can't tell what it's going to work for someone else, right? You know, like the re-arrest, the re-arrest, because it's only for drugs, but like, jail's really not what a drug addict needs. For this drug addicts, it worked. The taxpayers got their money's worth, man. Let me tell you. You know what I'm saying? Like, that's a downright fact.

The letting in and out, I'm, you know, I don't, I don't want to say anything about the judge. I don't know anything about that. I do know what worked for me, though, was getting active and starting hearing a message when I was in there. Like, I got active with N-A and A-A, and I started hearing guys come in and they were like, yo. Like, I used to be just like you. I used to cook with a stinger. We used to, like, you know, go to the mess hall and, you know, come back and buy, like, chicken off from someone else's, underneath someone else's balls, bro, like just to get a decent meal, right?

Like, all that stuff that we go through while we're in jail. Like, we used to wait online for the phone and, like, you know, have to budget our commissary. And like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But, like, they let us in here to come sell you guys hope. That, like, you don't ever have to come back in here. And, oh, by the way, we're going to leave tonight. And I started listening to that. And I was like, I can have that too.

Maybe one day I can come back in here and share a message like that. And that's why I say it was the best thing that ever happened to me. So do you think that's a major difference between going to jail and then going to the rehab that didn't work out for you? because you have people with so much lived experience that are already clean to show you, whereas a rehab, everyone's kind of just trying to survive equally? I think the disease of addiction is so powerful that like until someone hits rock bottom,

I don't care if you put them in a program or a jail until they want this thing. Like my sponsor asks me all the time, how bad do you want it? Show me. Stop telling me. Show me. Until it gets so ugly to where like you need to do something about it,

The program is, is, I walked out of programs, right? Like, and I'll, like, check in and that thing will start ringing to me like that, like, I just want to go back out there. Like, I've checked into, to here, and I did the 30 days, and I thought I was cured, man. But the thing is, is that people don't realize until they realize that the drugs are never the problem. And I'm not a drug, like, the drugs weren't my problem. Steve was the problem. I don't know if that makes sense.

It took me a long time to realize this. men in my life to tell me that like the drugs were never the problem Steve was the problem right like it's so true though like I put the drugs down my life was still unmanageable until I I started to do some work in myself like when I told you earlier I reached out to to to to a guy that I was locked up with and said show can you help me become a man like I'm sick of living like a little boy like can you help me become a man right and um he's like of course and he walked through this, like the process, you know, like, it was simple at first. Just know your first thought, your wrong thought, Steve.

Think about that for three days. Read what, what can I do, right? Write me a gratitude list for 10 days. I didn't even know what gratitude meant because I was so selfish and, you know, you know, a drug addict's main problem is they're selfish. I let's some of your eyes. I was selfish and self-centered. And that's how I lived my life.

Even when I knew you, I was, I just, everything was about me. And how was I going to? Does that make sense? Yeah. Now, let's talk about prison. It's funny you brought up the chicken smuggling. We did that in the feds in a totally different state. You know, tell us about that.

So prison actually, listen, you know, it was really bad, man, for me, man. And in this, I can really preach about, man, because in Bridgeport, I don't know where you went to county or where you got held. But you went in, you owed time, so you probably didn't do county. But I got arrested and didn't make bonds. So I did Bridgeport. No locks 23 hour in a small little cell with another guy. Best worst experience of my life, right? No stingers, no nothing.

You know, you're cooking with like hot water, like not even hot water. You're learning how to cook and order commissary. I was kicking methadone in there in that place. And in there, there was no like smuggle or anything. That didn't happen until I got to the prison. So really bad. My mom gave me $75 a week and she always said to me, listen, that was the max then. So I was rich.

Like, I left being like having a little money. Well, you know what I mean? And I did have some money. She's like, listen, I'm going to tell you this. I'm going to send you that money and you're going to live the life of Riley. But if you ever, and I'm telling you if you ever do this again, I won't send you a dollar and you'll see what it's like to really be in prison. We're like, dudes are washing other dudes boxers just to get commissary.

I don't know about where you were, but everyone was talking about how big and bad they were and how much drugs they sold, but they didn't have nothing in their locker. You know? So I was blessed. I left Bridgeport to go to county when I didn't get that program, and I had boxes at commissary.

You know, I don't know if you were transported, but in Connecticut they give you like these, you know, those paper boxes that are for files, like the cardboard boxes, and they give you that. I think I needed like a whole other van from my commissary, you know? And I didn't have a lock.

You can't buy a lock. in Bridgeport when you're in the blocks. So I got up to Sybolski. I was a little nervous, too. I'm not going to lie. I didn't get that program because I was big and cocky. I was going to the program. Again, God did what for me that I didn't know what I could do for myself because I didn't

do no inside work yet. And the pain wasn't strong enough yet. I still thought after the four months and then going to the program, I was going to be clean. And then I could come home and do this thing again and get back to, you know, I was really going to be clean. I wouldn't become my best customer ever again, right? God knew different.

so I go up to Saibowski with those boxes and the minute I get to H-storm. Well, they drive you around the prisons first. You get a tour of all of them if you go to Siboski. So you drive by Enfield, I'm like, oh, this place is big, the wires, you know. Then you drive by Carl Robinson where everyone's like, oh, my God, there's that,

and you don't want to go to that facility. You drive through summers, and they're all there, man, tall. The thing that the guy shoot you from, and I was like, you know, this is crazy, bro. Like, how did I get myself into this? You know? Long story short, you drive by Northern, which is like the super, super max,

and then they pull you into Sibolski, which was an adult daycare. And I joke about it now, but it's exactly what I needed. They wake you up in the morning, right? They give you a little time to go get breakfast and they make you line up because they don't know if anyone's going to beat each other up. So then they let you come out and play for a little while. Then they got to count us because they don't know if anyone wants to run away, and then they let us out to play.

They take us to lunch. Then they count us. and they let us back out. Pretty sad that as a grown man, I needed that kind of structure in my life. Where I learned how to... Tocovus is the go-to for premium handcrafted Western boots. Stop by any store location for a warm welcome,

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I'm cooking a stinger, do mafungos. Tell us how to make mafungo. They, uh... And what exactly mafungo is? That was the first ever prison meal I ever had. It's probably the best one and shockingly enough, made with the stinger inside there. They're actually pretty good. It's not like going to the mafungo house, but it's just potato chips, wet down potato chips.

You know, again, talented smartest people in the world. They're rolling out with a, with, uh, with, uh, it's just potato chips. shampoo bottle, right? The chips, that's like, you substitute those for the plantains on the wrap of a real mifungo, put in the soups, the jerk pork, the cheeses. I mean, everything is, in a little, they're cutting down everything nice and fine, all the spices, and then they wrap it up in the garbage bag and put it inside of the stinger, which I used to call home to my mom, we're using a stinger.

She'd be, oh, my God, what is going on? I'm like, yeah, you plug it in, like, it was nuts, but it was a whole different lifestyle. out to learn from, right? And again, I had lots of commissary, so I cooked, like, I didn't really eat the cafeteria food. How would you guys make the Stinger? I never really made one.

People would... It's like an extension cord cut at the end, and the wires come off. They take that, and they drop it into the water, and it actually cooks pretty good, man. What happens is it starts to boil the water, and you take the garbage bag, fill that with water,

and then layer another garbage bag over that water. Hence, think about it like this. You know, you're taking mop bucket water too. Well, not mob, that they mop, but you clean out the mop bucket, get the water from the Dutch thing, bring it over to your bunk, pour it in there. You got to hide this thing. The thing starts bubbling. You can hear a stinger going, right?

Like, um... I wonder if anyone's ever gotten electrocated. No, but I've never seen it happen, but the guys told me that, like, Osborne is so old. And if you make it wrong, if you don't do it, correctly, like if you don't, and the two things connect, it'll shut all the power down in the whole facility. So that's why they don't like them going around is because, you know, it's probably bad for the facility

if all the electricity gets shut down. And you could probably get severely hurt. You're right, like electrocuted. So once you got there, were you still scared? Or did it seem better than what you expected it to be? You know what? One, I was a little, I'm not going to lie, man. I was a little nervous.

I didn't know where I was going, right? Like I said, I came back from the place, and I asked everybody there. I'm like, what's it like? Where am I going? Like, to the people that have done time before, they're like, oh, well, like, if you go to Osborne and the rats are going to eat your commissary, and if you go to Carl Robinson, you know, like, there's a lot of gangs. And if you go there, you know, that might happen.

And I was like, wow. And again, God knew what he was doing for me, dropped me right off in Willard-Sibolsky, in the Cybolski unit, but I got to A-Storm. And, man, I didn't have a... a lock so the first morning I woke up and um I got robbed when I went to chow everything boxes and they left me with enough to get by to the next commissary and you know you know jail talk everybody you got to do something I was like yo Ian for the first time of my life I was like yo I'm not gonna I'm not gonna do it to people that I always thought I wanted to be like you know I'm in the place

where they go right and I'm not going to partake and I was like no I'm like I'm gonna turn this negative into a positive, and they had a program called Second Chance program. And I knew my mom would send me more money, and then I would have commissary in a couple weeks. I had enough to get by it. It let me a couple tunas and stuff. Long story short, I applied for E-dorm.

It's called Second Chance Norm. And that's where the process really started to happen. I don't care if it's called the Snitch Storm. That's where I want to go, man. Maybe I should have done that, right? You know, and I got in there and we had two mattresses, computers, and I got a job working on the side of the road for 50 cents a day. It's crazy.

I used to make 50 cents a day, you know. Now, it's more than 50K a month, right? So, like, anything's possible. What do you think old Steve would have done in that moment? Drug addicted, Steve, when someone stole your commissary? That's a great question, man. I probably would have fed in to everything that they were saying

and went and tried to do something stupid A, for the attention, but meanwhile, now you're in prison, man, guess what? I'm going to go do something stupid when, like, for what? All those people in there were probably, oh, he's such a punk, he's such a, you know, I don't like to swear anymore, I barely swear, but, you know, B, I T, C, H, he's such a, he's such a, that's probably what they were saying in there. And I know they were, but I told myself, I was like, you know,

well, I don't care what any of these people say about me. I'm never going to see any of them again, right? but the old seat that didn't learn anything probably would have tried to find out who it was, make a big scene, and then you know what, get thrown in the lockup, the SEG, and I wouldn't have any commissary, and they wouldn't have any phone calls. So, like, I didn't want to lose any of my privileges that I did have. And I was just done, bro. I don't know how to explain it other than that.

I was just done. That feeling is one that's just, like I said, it's the best worst thing that ever happened to me, man. I never want to ever feel like that again. Were you still searching for brotherhood and acceptance in prison? Or were you kind of weaning away from that at that point? Totally weaning away from it. Totally. If you weren't talking about winning while you were in there,

I wasn't hanging out with you because there were men that want. They were done. You know, like I met my sponsor in prison, man. A guy who I never thought that, like, I would ever see again, it's funny. I talk about, you know, you talk about statistics. And it's just another evidence. guy moving in my life, right? Like the statistics of him coming home and not putting a needle or a pipe

in his mouth again is slim to none, right? The relapse statistics are really, really high. The likelihood of him not coming home again and getting a re-arrested or doing something stupid to violate to go back, the recidivism rate, we know how high that is. I don't know the exact numbers on it, but it's pretty darn high, right? On top of that, for it to happen, not happen to me, for me not to come home to get active with the same dumbbells that I was hanging out with before prison, right, and to not go back again for the same stupid thing. And then the likelihood of me not putting a needle back of my arm or putting crack pipe back in my mouth or slim than none.

It's more likely to hit off scratch off. That's how I know that guy was moving chest pieces while I was in jail. So that when I was ready, that like I would reach out and boom, you know, this guy helped me so much, man, turn me into the man that I am today. Tell us about that program you were just talking about. E-dorm? Yeah. E-dorm's great.

Second-chance program, man. I don't know how active it is right now, but it's... I just wanted to be in it. And you got to fill out on an application. It was like a job interview. And, like, I was never supposed to go to prison. I was supposed to be a brain surgeon, man. Right?

Like, so you applied for it, and I was doing it, like, oh, like, it's a job. The... It was Ms. Muckman who ran it then. She's now... I heard she's like a... She got a promotion. She liked the deputy warden. but the program is set up to try to help people, right?

One cube in there, I don't know how it was in the feds, but we have cubes, right? One cube was set up with just, where it was for just groups all day, like men leading men groups, right, about like fatherlessness and AA and NA, and they had computers in there so people could, you know, it was the only dorm in Connecticut that had a computer, right? So you could do, like, job applications, work release program where they would like send these guys out to NACA. S. Nunktuck or something like that.

College was right down in Enfield there. They were doing that, getting them, you know, ready for college. And on top of that, they were sending guys out to Real Josh or they were making $15 an hour. And that's where, like, yo, I can't lie. Like, truly believe today, God put me in that situation because I meant talented men in there. I don't know if you did.

Some of those men had better vocabularies than the people I went to college with. Some of those men could tell a better. better story than like anyone I ever knew. Like at that time phone calls cost money, right? $5 for phone call. You had guys in there that could tell six different women a six different story, bro, right, to send them money. And they all lived in the same town. And that's where the vision came to me. I'm like, listen, if we could ever help these people, you know, come home and realize that they got God-given talent, that they just don't make it to the halfway house that's in the block, that like

we could teach them how to like financial freedom, a credit card that's like, you know, a secured credit card to build their credit. Instead of putting them right down in the block where Flacco's going to be like, oh, here's some, you know, get back to work because that's what you're good at. Then they reach this plateau. They make 150, 2, 3, 4, 500,000 selling drugs, right? And then they get arrested again. And it's not worth it. No. But if you could take that guy, give them livable income, right? Livable income at first. Teach them how to like use those assets, bro. The storytelling. talent. What I do right now, the best story wins. And the person that believes in their heart, right? Homeowner sales is not easy. I'm not saying we go in there tell stories, no, but we explain a product.

We explain why we're different to get the contract signed. And there's some of these guys out there. They just, they don't realize how much talent they have. And I believe being in that Syboski was that. I used to call home to my grandmother, $5 a day to tell her, we're going to open sober livings one day. The division was downloaded While I was in there She said, okay, and listened And today it's like What can we do to help?

My company, everybody's in recovery From the first one who believed in me Jamie, he was two and a half years ago We had a sign Off to Exeter and Hartford We used to fight for that prime real estate To get 40 bucks a day to get heroin Hank

Another guy Brian at doorks with me All of them were home I'm almost seeing out of dumpsters, man. And that's the people that God connected me with. And now we're out there and we're, like, helping people. And the vision is coming true. I bought a house in Waterbury. It's been approved by the city.

I'm just waiting to get my family out of it and to get another house to live in and then use that one. And it's nice. It's got granite countertops. Because when I was in prison, I was like, what am I going to come home to? That was my fear, right? And I'm sure there's other men that are like that. that what am I going to come home to a job?

Am I going to come home to this? Am I going to come home to that? What if someone has someone to come home to that wasn't nasty? That was nice, right? Like, what option would they have? I don't know. Does that make sense? Did you go to a halfway house when you got out?

I didn't. I went to the Chase Center in Waterbury. So it was like probably not the nicest or so. It was a dump. Dump. But they have state guys there too. Right. So I know Bishop Street, Bishop House.

but again if there was something for the guys that like you know like I said a job a livable income something to where like they don't have to go back to the block because the block is a lose-lose I don't care what anyone says it's always a lose lose whatever you do gain

they're going to take it away yeah I mean you make a million dollars in one year say drug dealing but then you go to prison for 10 I think you would have been better off not going or not selling the drugs Right, because then if they take everything, then you're hit, right? Even if they don't take it, it's just not worth it.

Right. It doesn't even now. Especially somebody, you know, a good salesman and what I do can make $250,000, $300,000 a year. You know what I'm saying? Now, on top of that, now they're not having to look over their shoulder. You know, again, if you could get one or two guys, right, think about the father-in-ness, this is problem. We talked about earlier that I suffered from that a lot of other many men suffered from.

If you could get that one guy to, like, become livable income, not just like working for like part-time money, but to where he can buy his kids sneakers, right? To where he can take them to soccer practice and have that freedom. Now you're fixing that problem one person at a time. Now there's a father being sent back to a son, right? Like, that's the vision I had.

And just to try to help people. Like I said, instead of being part of the problem, being part of the solution, I don't know if that makes sense, but, you know, How hard was it to rebuild the relationship with your mom once you got out? Did she trust you fully when you came home? We talked every day in there.

And she believed in me. I think she heard something different in me that she never heard before. However, she just wasn't. She heard it all before. And meanwhile, think about it like this. I embarrass her so much. Like her son that she spent all this money on schools and stuff was in prison at 37. And, like, she didn't even like to go to the grocery store in town, man.

Like, everybody knew. And when I came home, I moved to her house. Again, homeless. Didn't have a key to my own apartment. Parole went there and they're, like, they told her, wow, how lucky this kid is. A lot of these guys are sharing rooms and stuff. Like, they would tell, like, because I guess he did T.S. I paroled.

It was 50%. And I came home, and my grandmother gave me her car. and I had a breather on it. And the trust came soon. Now today, now today my mom fully, you know, it's, you know, I used to hear people in N.A. talk about, oh, my mother, my mother put me on her accounts and stuff. I have the key to the lockbox.

Like, those are the conversations I have on my mother today. Like, fully trust, fully trust her. But she always did tell me when I was decided this ever happens again. You know, and I don't want to lose my mom. Today I hand her my credit card. I'm like, here, go. you know how have you been able to rebuild since getting out of prison it took a while but what it was is i stayed on that path moving forward right there is hope like there is a new way like people just

give in um i wasn't willing to go back i came home i was working for like eight or ten bucks an hour doing like like like it was crazy um how i got into this is i reached out to a solar company and um they gave me a shot i'll always always be forever thankful for venture solar. And this guy named Alex. And he gave me a shot. He kept telling me, he's like, Steve, you guys, I can't train what you have. It's untrainable.

It's just God given. And I was in BJ's bothering people for solar. I'm sure you've been in there, right? And I passed the solar company's background track, but I didn't pass the BJ's background truck. And he's like, I got something else for you. If you want to knock doors, I'll leave. that you knock doors.

And if you hit this certain number of goal, I'll promote you to in-home sales. And I hit all those goals, and I did in-home sales. So I learned the fundamentals of knocking on doors, building relationships with people. And I went 100 miles an hour at it. And until I eventually started my own.

What's your life look like today? I have a wife. Like, I never was going to get married. You know, I thought two or three girlfriends was, like what was cool, man? and what I wanted. Meanwhile, I was so lonely on the inside, broken. I met my wife.

Besides God, she's the most important, my mom. She's the most important person in my life. He's down today. I met her in a bar. We were both broken. And I prayed for her when I was locked up. The spitting image of her, when I first walked by her, I was like, that's you.

She's like, what? I was like, she didn't believe me at first either. And she was hanging out with a bunch of people, active too like you know active gang actors she tried dealing people and uh but god had different plans and um i i i approached her approach her i had to ask her 30 times they caught living in the 30 right i learned this from another guy i listened to but uh and um i treat her like she was you know i was going to get her i was going to get her and and and she finally gave me a chance and then we almost broke up before we got married and um but god uses and humbles people before he

really takes them and uses them for what they're called to do or what he's calling them to do and that's exactly what he did and i look at it now and she told me we got an argument and um she's gonna humble you and i was like still at that point i was like yeah whatever and um he uh used me he used her to humble me to get me to run to him and uh came home we started going to church her parents are pastors and uh i had diagnosed trigger finger man diagnosed trigger finger where i couldn't go like this in my finger and i was just and my mom's church, her mom prayed over me,

and my finger just started going up and down. And that's when I was like, you're real. Like, you've been here the whole time. You were there through the overdoses. You were there for the drug deal. You were there for the rest. You were there for the whole prison ride, right? You were there holding me the whole time.

And I, if you told me I would talk like this when I met you, I'd been like, you're nuts, right? I was going to roll. You have no idea. And we got married. And we got married. barely are you. It's like the most

untoxic relationship I want to because we have God at the center of it. It's the right person. Yeah. So on top of that, a relationship, I'm a mother. I'm a son today. I'm a stepfather. I'm a father. You know what? Let me clarify that. I'm the father. You know,

the father's still out there active. I do the daddy, uh, I go to school for the career day. You know what I mean? I get to do these things today because I decided to give up one thing. I had to give up one thing, bro. The drugs to get all this. And I'm an owner of a company. You know, we are.

Me and my wife are. But I think the best thing is that, like I said, I get to go tell people that this thing is possible, that there is a different way. That, like, if you find a way off the circle of getting arrested and going back and getting arrested and going back, that, like, you can have this thing too.

It takes one year That's like I get back to when I told you The guys in the jail I don't know if when they did it in yours But in mine they were like a year Like if you If I never gave myself the year I would never be here

To have what I have today I don't know if that makes sense It really took a year Of not going in A year of going to meetings A year of like Just stay You thought this was your run club era

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And then that's when everything started to open up. Do you think everyone has the ability to be able to do something? like this, but they're just in their own way and can't get past that. Yes. I think it's about the people you have around you, though. See, my old network and my wife's old network when we fought, the people that she was still hanging, I was like, screw him, screw him, just go out and cheat on him, right?

Because it's the people you have around you, right? Little things like that, you get an argument with your girl, and people around you that are like still cheating on her wife and have side chicks. Well, guess what? That's what the people around you were going to tell you to do, and then it's going to make that men. marriage have issues. You know, meanwhile, when at that point, I had friends in my life, they're like, you know what?

What did you do? What did you do to make her react that way? You know, it's all about the people you hang out with, right? Like, today I have people around me and she has around her, too, that are going to, you know, they're going to build this up. If you're hanging out with people that are always negative, always negative, and, like, doing the wrong things. Well, then you're going to be doing that stuff. On top of that, let's mix that with the music.

that I used to listen to. I'm downloading all these evil thoughts into my head. Like, I'm not judging anyone to listen to certain music. But if when I met you, you told me that I would listen to Christian hip-hop and worship music and dance in church and jump up and down, I'll call you no way, bro. Now that you're successful, do people from the past reach out to you? And how do you handle those conversations? I feel like a lot of people struggle with kind of when they're in a new lane in life

separating completely from the past. I never listen I never forget where I was that's why I do the service work that I do I'm big on service work like I said I go to I do I do H&I which is hospitals and institutions I go into prisons today going to rehabs and I try to carry the message or hope right like that like an addict any addict to stop using drugs and lose the desire to use that's all the program promises is like you know it promises us to stop using drugs

That's all. Everything else that comes along with it is like a blessing. I lost my train of thought. Sorry. No, you're good. Just about separating people from the past. Yeah. So now that I found this new way to live, obviously people see it.

When I bump into them, hey, how you doing? Like up here in the Milford this past weekend. That's like my hometown. Like I ran a muck up there, man. I was part of the problem. and I hear Stephen and, like, you know, I'm so proud of you. Like, you know, like, I don't think anybody is, there's not people calling me, like, you know, saying good job, but I keep my outside of moving. It's about the new people that I touch.

You know what I'm saying? The new people, like, when I go to a prison, man, guys are crying, like, from the stuff that I said, because I can relate to them. You know, the counters and everything in there are going to tell you one thing, but, like, I say the same exact thing in a different language and it helps them. So it's, I don't know if it's about the people in the past. I think it's about the people that, you know, God puts in my life now to where like, what are we going to do to help these people? But it's a, I haven't come around here besides New Milford and today, it's very rare. Very rare.

What's one thing you wish you could tell your 18-year-old self if you were back in time standing the cross from him? That you have anything in this world that you want if you put your mind to it, if you put God first. With God, all things are possible. It's simple. through 1926. If I had known this, and if I known that the father I was searching for wasn't in the men that I was hanging out with and trying to please and all that stuff, that he was sitting right up there watching me all the time, that's probably what I would have told myself, listen to

you. My parents told me, my mom and my grandparents told me, I just didn't want to listen to them. I don't, you know, but that's probably what I would, not probably, it's definitely what I would tell them like put god first and anything is possible and like you do have talents and you don't have to hang out in those places steve i appreciate you coming on the show today man yeah thank you man i really appreciate it yeah i appreciate you reaching how you did awesome man for your first ever podcast you crushed it thanks awesome and then you got to put me on one of the most popular ones right and we'll have the link to your business and everything in the bio at this thanks so much man thank you