Locked In with Ian Bick - I Was Sent To A SUPERMAX PRISON For FRAUD | Ryan Thayer

Episode Date: May 18, 2023

After finishing high school, Ryan Thayer decided to work for his father's construction company. Fueled by his ambition, Ryan decides to expand, taking on more clients and jobs than he could handle. It... didn't take long for him to hit cash flow issues, causing him to engage in fraudulent transactions with insurance companies. Railroaded by the Justice System, Ryan is sentenced to several years in the PA State Prison System and finds himself in a Supermax facility. Connect with Ian Bick: https://www.ianbick.com/Subscribe to our membership program on YouTube to get early access to interviews, see behind the scenes photos & more:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRvVklIft6DMelVW18M0oBw/joinPowered by Q29 Productions, LLC Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:01:21 As always, thank you guys for tuning in to Lockton with Ian Bick. Ryan Thayer, welcome to Lockton with Ian Bickman. Thanks for coming out here today. I always like to start at the beginning of someone's story. So where are you from? What was your childhood like growing up? I'm from Levittown, Pennsylvania. I played baseball, football, wrestling, and race bikes my entire life.
Starting point is 00:01:48 Basically went to school as a kid, play sports, and did construction. What kind of family do you come from? I have a brother, two sisters, a mom and dad, still married, not divorced, basic household. What did they do for work? My dad was a union carpenter until he got in an accident, and then he retired in 92. My mom was a nurse. She would go to work at nighttime while my dad was asleep, and she'd be a stay-of-home mom during the day. So pretty normal family?
Starting point is 00:02:15 Pretty normal family. And you guys had like money or middle-class? Yeah, middle class. We didn't have money, but we didn't really go without. You didn't struggle at all? No. What's middle school and high school like for you? Middle school was all right.
Starting point is 00:02:27 We have a mixed crowd. You have some people that are struggling. You have some people that are doing well. It's pretty much it. High school, I didn't want to go to a regular high school, so I went to a Votech school. What's that? It's like you go for a trade.
Starting point is 00:02:40 So I already knew construction, so I didn't want to go for carpentry. So I went for civil engineering, civil engineering, you know, dirt, grade, stuff like that. So I figured if I was told it one way from my dad and my brother and the carpentry teacher wanted to teach me a different way. Instead of banging heads, I went for engineering something I had,
Starting point is 00:02:59 I didn't know anything about. Yeah. Now, do you go off to college after that or that was it? That was it. So you jump right into your career right after high school. I jumped right into work. And what's the career you end up going for? Construction.
Starting point is 00:03:11 And do you do that with anyone or do it alone? Now, present? No, after high school. Oh, after high school, I worked for my dad. And what was like the dynamic of that? It was like a big company. It was a smaller company. Five to ten employees did residential houses, like additions, roof inside and windows.
Starting point is 00:03:30 And how old are you? at this point? 18. And is the business, like, successful? Is it struggling? It was doing good. And before you got into this business, you'd never committed, like, any crimes a day in your life?
Starting point is 00:03:43 No. What about a fight here and there and, like, going to Westchester, but that was about it? What about alcohol, drugs, anything like that? Never did a drug in my life. Never even smoked cigarette. So I guess I think that I'm surprised by is, like, you come from a good family,
Starting point is 00:03:55 you're, like, clean, completely, no issues. And then all of a sudden this turns into, like, a financial fraud case essentially, like with the company? Yes and no. So I had, I didn't have 100% control of the money because I was dealing with insurance companies. So the insurance companies were paying a public adjuster and then the public adjuster would pay the money in disbursements.
Starting point is 00:04:19 So when the money started not coming in instead of saying, you know what, I need to figure this out. I need to stop. I need to not do any more work. I thought I could fix it and continue. taking deposits and working. So that was the illegal aspect of it? The illegal aspect of it was taking the deposits to try to continue working
Starting point is 00:04:39 and not being able to finish the job. And who told you to do, like how did you learn about this? Was it your dad that showed you this? No, he had nothing to do with it. Him and my mom actually told me don't get involved in insurance companies because it's not going to end well. But this is your dad's company? Correct.
Starting point is 00:04:53 And you're doing that and he said it was okay for like you to deal with the insurance companies? Yes and no. He didn't. So I would do my work. I would do my work as my own. And then he had his own business, essentially, that he did to roofing the side and the additions.
Starting point is 00:05:09 So he wasn't solely with me. We weren't solely together, as I should say. But it was tied together. But it wasn't until it became a criminal matter than it was. So did he know it was a criminal matter? Like once an investigation eventually started, was he like running it with you at any point? No, he was he was involved. Like if I said, hey, can you go pick up a check?
Starting point is 00:05:30 That was it. He would go pick up a check. So because he picked up a check, he became, I guess, like an accomplice. And at no point, like, he catches wind and says, hey, Ryan, like, you shouldn't be doing this or talking you out of it? I didn't really, nobody really knew the magnitude of what it was. Except for you. Yes and no. So I really, I was dumb to it.
Starting point is 00:05:52 Because, like I said, I've never been in trouble. I didn't really know, like, how. I didn't know it was a thing until it actually got. until I got called and said, you need to turn yourself in. And even when I turned myself in, they were like, it's for contractor fraud. And I'm like, I have insurance.
Starting point is 00:06:09 I have my GC number. I have everything that I need to have. How is it fraud? So you weren't aware at the time that it was fraud when you were doing this? So I was, I kept trying to work to make it right. So my eyes was, I wasn't like, hey, Ian, you gave me a check for 50 grand.
Starting point is 00:06:26 I went and bought a Maserati. It was you gave me a check for 50 grand. I went and finished somebody else's job in order to get that money to pay to finish your job. So it was like a construction Ponzi scheme. Basically. But you unwillingly were doing this. Like you didn't necessarily know it was a Ponzi scheme at the time.
Starting point is 00:06:44 You were just like trying to keep the business. I was trying to keep, I was trying to make everybody whole and keep everything to make sure that the guy still had payroll and make sure any vendor didn't get beat out of money. But what was like the cause that made, forced you into needing this extra cash. Do you have like one job that went bad or something like that? I had a couple jobs that the checks were supposed to come in and they didn't come in.
Starting point is 00:07:06 The client like bailed out. No, it wasn't the client. It was it was controlled by a third party by a public adjuster. And you just got screwed out of that money. So the public adjuster was saying, well, there's not there's not enough work done for them to give me to check or we're still waiting on a check. So instead of saying like, hey, listen, I can't finish your house until I get this check. I was too proud to be like, hey, listen, and you're not going to be able to live in your house for six months because your insurance still owes me a check. It was a, all right, I'm going to get your house done as fast as I can no matter what it takes. And then it got to the point where it was too far, it was too far gone to be able, like I was 23 years old. I didn't have access to money. It wasn't like I could take a hard money loan for a million dollars and finish these houses and then pay back a bank.
Starting point is 00:07:51 Yeah, but wouldn't the adjusters eventually have to pay you to make it all right? Or they they yeah well like I said instead of instead of telling them listen I'm not doing any more work I would keep trying to do to work but like don't eventually they got to pay or no they yes they have to pay so you can't like they have to they have a thing what they call depreciation or your holdback yeah once your job is 75 80% done they've released your depreciation or your holdback but if you build faster than they do their inspections so like the way it works is don't come out they'll do the inspection they'll say all right listen we're going to demo this entire house all right fine fine here's a check for 50 grand. Now, you build 50 grand worth of, you build 50 grand worth of billables. Now, you could either say, hey, listen, I got to stop because I'm waiting for an insurance company. They'll take a week to come out. So now you're not working for a week.
Starting point is 00:08:40 They'll look at the house. They'll say, okay, you have the demo done, the concrete is done, the frame is done, the electric's done. Now we owe you another check for your plumbing, HVAC insulation drywall. So, okay, we're going to cut you that check. Now it might be another two weeks until you get that check. So now you're like, hey, listen, I'm not working at your house for the next three weeks until I get that check. Now you get that check in three weeks.
Starting point is 00:09:04 You do your electric, your plumb and your H-FAC. You get that done. Now, once you get that done, once again, they have to come out and have to do an inspection. So instead of playing third game and saying, all right, I'm going to do to work, you're going to inspect it. Then I'm going to do to work. Then you're going to inspect it. I would just constantly keep doing the work and then waiting for them to pay. So what's like your mindset? Why did you want to do that?
Starting point is 00:09:28 Was that just like being young and not knowing anybody? It was just young and wanting to just build as fast as I could. And is that how like your dad operated his business? No, not even close. So did you, do you feel like you were in like a competition with him or you wanted to? No, I don't really know what the drive to build as fast as I did was. Yeah. And it was just like growing the company more, I guess?
Starting point is 00:09:49 Yeah, I guess so. So had these adjusters paid you on time at now? would have been an issue and everything would have went flawlessly. I mean, you're always going to have problems, but yeah, it would have a lot smoother than. So if you have a job that's based off of scheduled payments, like for a customer, you say, all right, I'm going to rip your roof off today. I'm going to put your roof back on today. I'm going to be done today.
Starting point is 00:10:12 So you know you're only floating that money for 24 to 48 hours. You buy your material. You pay for your dumpster. They pay you, you cast a check. You move on to the next. Yeah. Or if you do a kitchen or an addition. They give you your money.
Starting point is 00:10:25 You say, all right, I'm going to do this, this, this, this, and this. When I get to this stage, you're going to give me another check. So you constantly have cash flow. So unless you're going out, party, and you're spending it recklessly, you're always funding the job with the way your payment plans set up. Now, how stressful was this, like moving this money around and kind of having to stay afloat through other jobs? Were you ever worried that, like, the jobs would dry up and then the cash flow would run out?
Starting point is 00:10:49 I was pretty good at staying involved in the community and sponsoring and stuff and being at events and sponsoring little leagues and I was a high school wrestling coach so everybody knew what I did so you had a little bit of social media but it was mostly word of mouth so people would see what you do and they would say hey listen I just got my roof done he did it he did it in a day everything was clean oh I want my signing done then it kind of just word of mouth yeah so you didn't have to you so was it could it dry up yeah but you had to make sure it didn't so where does it all go wrong then because this could have kept going, I guess, forever, right?
Starting point is 00:11:26 It could have kept going, especially with the way, with the way construction is now after COVID, it's, there's like a construction boom everywhere. Anywhere you drive by, people are doing construction. So you just ultimately need a few more years longer, I guess, right? Or a couple hundred thousand dollars at that time. So what's like the day that it starts to unravel? So the one day, I'm at work. I get a call from a detective and he says, you need to come to take.
Starting point is 00:11:53 turn yourself in for construction fraud. And I'm like, all right, when? He's like, well, when can you? And I was like, well, I'm on a job, not really in the area. This is like a Tuesday. I'm like, can we do it on Friday? He's like, yeah, it's fine, I'm doing it on Friday. So now I'm like, all right, well, it can't be that serious.
Starting point is 00:12:08 Like, he's letting me pick when I show up. Yeah. So I show up on like a Friday. I walk into the building and I'm there. He takes a picture of me. He fingerprints me. He does everything you do when you get, I guess, essentially arrested. And he goes, the judge doesn't want you to, the judge doesn't want to bring you in because
Starting point is 00:12:29 you're a pillar in the community and she doesn't want the media to have a field day. So we're going to let you go on ROR bail. So I'm like, okay. Then I'm like, what's that mean? I don't know what it means. I've never been in trouble before. Well, I don't know what it are. So he's like, it means we'll send you a court date in the mail and then you can show up.
Starting point is 00:12:46 So you're thinking it's not that serious at all. So I'm thinking it's like, okay. So obviously something serious because I just had to go to a police station and get fingerprint it and... But if they're letting you out, I can't be that bad. But if they're letting me out, I'm thinking, okay, what... Do they ask you any questions while you're at the police station? No information at all.
Starting point is 00:13:02 So they just arrest you, that's it, no detectives? No, the guy that was there was a detective. Yeah. It was just one detective and he said, uh, this are your charges. He showed me a little sheet. He did the fingerprint, the mugshot. And then, uh, he was like, yeah, well, send you a court date. And who are they saying are like the victims of this construction fraud? Uh, there was five.
Starting point is 00:13:22 that filed a complaint against you. Now, are these people that gave you deposits that because the cash flow dried up, you couldn't start their work or their job? Couldn't continue. You couldn't continue to finish. So had you been able to find more clients, you would have been able to finish their jobs? Yeah, but then it would have been basically the same. It would have been different people.
Starting point is 00:13:41 You would have been repeating the same. Yeah. And so you finally either got a really good job that there was enough profit or you found a way to borrow money. it would have been the same. So you really need like a loan, I guess. I basically just needed a loan to finish. And you couldn't get any loans through the cash flow of this business with a bank or anything? I, I didn't use credit.
Starting point is 00:14:03 I used, it was always like. Cash. It was always cash. So I didn't owe like anybody money. When you got arrested, do you tell your mom and dad at all? I didn't have to. It was all over the newspaper. Oh, so they did put in the newspaper.
Starting point is 00:14:14 Oh, yeah, it was all over the internet. So I thought they didn't want it to have like a field. They didn't want me to go to go to the courthouse that day. Yeah. But then once it became public records, then it was... So how does your dad get tied up into this? Because he went and picked up checks also. So they charged him the same day, or when does he get arrested?
Starting point is 00:14:32 I think he was either the same day or like the day after. And he gets arrested. What does he say to you? Because he probably didn't know this was coming. He actually knew before me. He knew before you? Yeah. Is he mad at you?
Starting point is 00:14:44 Not really. He's just like whatever. Not whatever, but he was like, you know, I'm still a son. So he's not really, yeah. Is your mom mad at him about this situation at the time? I think my mom was a little more upset than she wasn't mad. And what about your siblings? What are they thinking?
Starting point is 00:15:01 My sisters were scared me and my brother don't talk, so I don't really care. And what about like the community or other clients? Are you losing more business now because of this? So now I work for somebody. I don't work for myself. Okay. But at first I thought like, man, this is going to kill me. Like, all I do is construction. So I thought I was, all I'm never going to, I'm never
Starting point is 00:15:26 going to do this again. But then I started, people actually started reaching out like, hey, can you do this from me before you go away? Or can you do this from before you go away? So I would call it a detective and like, hey, listen, this person just asked me if I can do a job for them and it's directly across from the courthouse. Like, are you cool with me doing this? And he was like, yeah, we, we know you're doing it. You're still licensed. you're still insured. So technically, um,
Starting point is 00:15:52 you can do it. Uh, the judge didn't stop you from working under your name. I'm like, okay, because at that time I wasn't sentenced. Yeah. So I was like,
Starting point is 00:16:00 okay, so people that knew me were like, um, hey, can we do this? Can we do that? Can we do this? So people knew that,
Starting point is 00:16:09 um, the situation, that it was a money situation. It wasn't a me trying to be like, malicious. Yeah. And they were like, all right,
Starting point is 00:16:16 well, can I try to get worked on why, why he's still around, I guess. How long were you on bail for, like awaiting trial or sentencing? 16 months. 16 months this was going on. So what year is this and how old are you?
Starting point is 00:16:29 It was 2014. I was 24. You're 24 years old, never been charged. This was like literally one big, like unintentional accident, I guess you could say. And your dad played like little to no role in it. That goes to show you like how twisted the media could be too. Because when I was like looking up your case in the articles, they like, they put lot of blame on your dad and even like it I guess it sells more father and son construction fraud
Starting point is 00:16:55 and whatnot do they give you a plea deal um so they come to my house numerous times try to talk to me i'm like listen i don't i don't know what you want me to talk about i got i got nothing for you so i go see i go see a lawyer for my prelim he goes this is real simple this is civil not criminal i'm like okay he goes give me five grand i'll get it thrown out in your prelim i'm like all right all right, fine, no problem. Get the $5,000. I give it to him. The night before I go to my prelim, he calls me and says, yeah, you got a $2,500 balance. I'm like, you told me $5,000. He goes, yeah, it's going to be $2,500 more. I'm like, all right, it's 6 o'clock at night. There's no banks open. How am I supposed to get $2,500? He goes, well, if you can't get it, when we go to court tomorrow,
Starting point is 00:17:41 we'll tell the judge that they can wait while you go tap mac. I'm like, there's no way in the hell. I'm going to tell the judge that you guys were all waiting for me to go get money when I'm in front of her for money. So one of my buddies gave me the $2,500. I give it to him. We go to court. We're in court. Everybody's like, you know, did he do work in your house?
Starting point is 00:18:00 Yes. Did he not finish your job? Yes. So I go through the people. The judge is like, because of the magnitude of this and your involvement in the community, I have to send it to higher court, which would be Doylestown for us.
Starting point is 00:18:15 People that know, know if you go to Dulcetown, it means you're going somewhere. You're going to the county. you're going. So you're doing jail time. You're doing jail time. Yeah, you go to Dallas time. So he goes, come see me on like a Tuesday or Wednesday.
Starting point is 00:18:26 I'm like, all right. This is a very laid back court. I go see him. And he goes, yeah, I want 25 grand. The lawyer. I'm like, so you want 17.5. He's like, you're 18, 5. He's like, no, I want 25.
Starting point is 00:18:41 I'm like, dude, you want $32,000 or something you told me it was civil, not criminal? He's like, well, we're going to be in trial for seven days. I'm like, you told me it was civil. not criminal. Now you want $32,000. He's like, yeah. So I'm young. I'm never been in trouble my life.
Starting point is 00:18:56 And I'm like, no. I'm not giving it to you. Yeah. It just wasn't happening. And do you get a new lawyer at this? No, I went to the entire time with no lawyer. You did it yourself? I did it.
Starting point is 00:19:07 I did it without knowing. Without knowing. So I did know. I went to, I showed up to one day. And like Dickie's in a safety green shirt. And they were like, You ready to go to trial? I'm like, no.
Starting point is 00:19:21 You went to trial on your own. I didn't, I never made it that far. Okay. So I show up like street clothes, work clothes. Yeah. And they're like, you're ready to go to trial? I'm like, no. Then they're like, all right, well, we're not ready.
Starting point is 00:19:32 We're going to continue it. I'm like, okay. So they continue it. So now five months go by, I'm like, shit, I got court again. Do the same thing. Show up in the street clothes. They're like, we're not ready again. We're going to continue it.
Starting point is 00:19:44 I'm like, okay. So now they actually start reaching out to me. Like, yeah, you have representation. I'm like, no, I'm working on it. When you get a public defender or something? Because they told me I made too much money. They said you were making too much? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:54 So did you ever think to go to like the alleged victims and say, hey, can we work out a payment plan or something like that? At that point, I didn't think I was allowed to talk to anybody. At that point, I kind of just like, at that point I was like, you know what? I have a wife and two kids. No matter what happens, I still have a wife and two kids. At this age, you have a wife and two kids. At this age, yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:16 So I had a four-year-old and a two-year-old. Yeah. So I was like, I still have to make sure that, you know, they're taken care of. So instead of trying to get representation, I answered an ad on Craigslist about running a piece of heavy equipment working down at a steel mill. Yeah. So I'd work 6 o'clock at night to 6 o'clock in the morning down in a steel mill running an excavator in the hole of a ship, like loading out sugar or whatever. Then I answered another ad about running a piece of equipment for a place. in like North Jersey.
Starting point is 00:20:48 So I would leave there at six. I would drive an hour to the job in Jersey. I would sleep in my truck for like 15, 20 minutes. I'd work there from 7 to 4. I would drive back home. I'd get home at 5. I would take a shower, eat dinner with the kids. I would hang out for like 20 minutes,
Starting point is 00:21:03 and I would go do it all over again. So when did you sleep? I was sleeping in the truck for like 15, 20 minutes a day. And how long were you doing this for? Four months. How is that even sustainable? I'm surprised you didn't like die? from this that's crazy when you got to provide you know what I mean yeah so I was like I didn't know
Starting point is 00:21:20 I didn't know what was going to happen so I was like I can't obviously I can't go build houses because I'm not trying to get in more trouble but I have to make sure I take care of my family and what's your dad doing at this time uh he was just retired so he wasn't doing anything did he have a lawyer too uh I don't think so so he was just going with the flow too yeah so you guys are both super laid back about these criminal charges yeah so when do you I wouldn't say lay back. I would say, um,
Starting point is 00:21:48 it's like going with the flow. Like not, in an honest world, like I thought the justice system was fair. Yeah. I didn't think like, uh, I didn't think it was the way it is.
Starting point is 00:21:59 I'll put it that. I don't think we all do. I'll leave it at that, yeah. So when do you, like, actually sign paperwork for like a deal or anything like that? I didn't.
Starting point is 00:22:07 You went to trial? No. So the very last day before, the very last day, their very last time I go to court, I show up. I meet the DA and a detective in the back room. And they're like, you ready to go to trial?
Starting point is 00:22:21 So I'm like, no. So I'm not knowing that if I would have said, yeah, they would have set a trial date. And I could have went to trial. And then maybe I ought to realize the severity of it. And I would have got a lawyer. So you're ready to go to trial? And I'm like, no.
Starting point is 00:22:33 And they're like, listen, well, we're not allowed to tell you what to do. But if I was you, I'll just plead no contest. You pleaded no contest? So I pleaded no contest. Oh, man. So I go in front of the judge. And the judge is like, did anybody force you to sign this paperwork?
Starting point is 00:22:48 And I'm like, technically, no. Like, they didn't have a gun to my head and say I signed it. But they were like, persuade, yeah. They were like, should you, they're like, did anybody force you to sign this? Did you know what you were signing? No.
Starting point is 00:23:02 At that point, I couldn't even spell contest if you asked me. Like, I shouldn't even, I didn't even know where the hell I was. You know what I mean? Yeah. So I'm like, no. And they were like, all right, so. I go, the judge gets done and the judge is like, the problem I'm having is you have a
Starting point is 00:23:20 0.00 gravity score. Once again, I had no idea what the hell gravity score even is. You have a 0.00 gravity score. You've never been in trouble in your life. You've never done a drug in a life. You've been involved in the community. But because of the severity of it, I have to sentence you, I have to make an example out of you so nobody else tries to do this. six to 20 years in a prison with 20 years probation. 20 years probation? And then they said, all right, you know,
Starting point is 00:23:54 a court ever taking away. So I'm like, whoa, hold on. Can I get like a delayed execution? Like, I just drove here drinking Starbucks thinking I'm going home. And now I'm going to prison for six years. And the DA is like, no, it's been going on long enough, get them out of here. So they just handcuffed you? handcuffed you and that's the first time you're ever handcuffed in your life what's going through
Starting point is 00:24:12 your mind when that happens so i think at that point it was like um all right i can't worry about and this is like i guess messed up to say i can't really worry about anybody else i'm going to somewhere i've never fathomed even being or even know anything about it um survival mode what what's like your first phone call uh my first phone call was to my wife at the time and just to say hey, I'm not coming home for the next six years? She was there. Oh, she was at the... So when I got sentenced, when they said six to 20 years, I was like,
Starting point is 00:24:44 shit, six to 20 years has a long time. My kids are going to be grown. Like, I'm going to miss my first son's first day of elementary school. Like, all this stuff's going, nothing's going through my head. Like, wow, I'm going to miss going to a baseball game. I'm like, dude, I'm going to miss my son's first day of first grade. Like, I'm going to miss his first baseball game. I'm more worried about missing my children's stuff than me.
Starting point is 00:25:07 like I'm not going to say that I'm like the toughest dude in the world especially going to prison I don't know anything about but you're not going to break me like I wrestled my entire life you know you you don't eat you don't sleep you I was sleeping in a truck to make sure so me I was like all right I'll figure it out but I was more worried about like my kids so I was like yo can I hug my wife and they're like no and I'm like I'm gonna hug my wife I'm already going to jail what are you going to do put me in jail yeah yeah I mean so then when I when I called her I think it was at first, like, I think in a county, you get 15 minute, 15 or 20 minute phone calls. But I think the entire time was just crying because it was like, we just drove to, we just
Starting point is 00:25:45 drove the court together. Now you're not coming home for six years. Maybe six years because that's, that's your front number. So do you ever get to like meet with a lawyer to say when you're going to go home or anything like that? Do you have any legal advice after that? So now I get sent away to the county jail. I get to the county jail. You got to go through process and book in all the all this stuff um they have like a case manager at the top so you have to write a request to see the case manager if you're not one in the case manager's puppets you don't really get to see her so finally after like the second day being there not knowing what's going on i'm like what the hell is going on like i'm just here like i was like an animal yeah so uh uh i go up to the case manager
Starting point is 00:26:26 and i knock on our door and i'm like yo do i get like a phone call or something so she goes uh sit down So I sit down. She goes June 23rd, 2015. Oh, wait, you're a state inmate? Yeah, your state property. Get out. Get out. I'm like, get out.
Starting point is 00:26:46 I was like, don't I get a phone call? And she's like, oh, yeah, you got money on your books. You can use the phone down there. So I'm like, okay. I see what this is going for. Yeah. So then technically you stay in the county jail for like a month or two. before they send you away.
Starting point is 00:27:03 I was in a county jail for about three days. They sent me right to a supermax prison. To serve your whole sentence? No. So I go right to a prison called Greaterford. It's like well-known in Philadelphia. It's where you don't want to go. And this is a Mac security prison.
Starting point is 00:27:19 Supermax. Why are they sending you to a Supermax? So the way PA does it, they have assessment, but you go through two different facilities for assessment before you go to your home jail. So I find out that the judge gave me a reconsideration. So they're like, all right, you get a reconsideration,
Starting point is 00:27:39 which has been done within 30 days after you get sentenced. So they sent me to Graterford, the Supermax. You walk into Graterford. It was built in like 1890. It's old as hell. Obviously, no air conditioning. No call buttons in the cell.
Starting point is 00:27:55 The blocks are 200 yards long. There's a tier in the center. As you're walking down the block, the guys that are there, are hanging out the door trying to get you to sell them your three whites, your underwear, your socks, and your T-shirt for cigarettes.
Starting point is 00:28:10 Really? So you're walking down this 200-yard block and all the windows are broken out. So you just see everybody's hands out on the tier like, yo, give me two underwear for a cigarette. And these kids are coming from the county jail where they haven't smoked in forever. So they're like, oh shit, I got my underwear for cigarettes.
Starting point is 00:28:26 Yeah, let me get that. Because they're just, they're not, like, their right, their mind is so. instant gratification that they're like, I want a cigarette. I'm going to be in this dirty-ass place for who knows how long. Yeah. Until I can get commissary or money to buy, whatever. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:43 So then you go to Graterford for assessment. You stay there normally for like two months. I was there for like two weeks. They sent me to the second place for assessment called SCI Camp Hill. I go to SCI Camp Hill. I'm there for like two weeks again. Now, SCI Camp Hill is like right here. Graterford is like right here.
Starting point is 00:29:06 And Green, Benner is like right here in the center of the state. So the way PA moves you, everybody goes to Benner. You get the Benner. Benner's like a Greyhound shipping hub. You get the, you get there. They process you, put you on a bus, say, are you going to Graterford. You drive three and a half hours in the box,
Starting point is 00:29:25 back to where you started at Camp Hill. So you can use the bathroom, but knock it off the bus. Then go from Camp Hill to Graterford. So you start in Camp Hill at 3 a.m. You get back to Camp Hill at 5 p.m. And you get degraded for 80 o'clock at night. Wow. Stupid.
Starting point is 00:29:41 Now, do you look the way that you look now when you were going into that prison? So you had the tattoos you were well built? Yeah. How are people reacting to you in prison? So when I'm in the county, I was like, all right, I'm not one to take my shirt off. I don't ever take my shirt off. I've been like this my entire life, but I'm like, I just don't take my shirt off. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:29:59 I don't care. I don't do it. Okay. So I was like When I'm in a county The county is like Powder puff It's college
Starting point is 00:30:10 It's college with other girls And I got in trouble for saying that Because they played my phone calls And they were like Is your truth? I said there's shit's a joke And I'm like yeah There's 50 fires
Starting point is 00:30:18 The TVs mounted on the wall Like it's it is But they use that against me So I'm like all right I'm gonna go to the shower So I'm sitting there And as weird
Starting point is 00:30:27 It's in it sound You watch everybody You see like You know what time This guy gets on the phone. You know what time this guy showers. You know what time this guy doesn't shower. You watch everybody. And because I was used to running work and coaching, I was militant to see how everybody moved. So I'd watch guys go to the shower. And I'm like, all right, this dude's wearing
Starting point is 00:30:48 sneakers. This dude's wearing shorts and a t-shirt. This guy has just a towel, whatever. So I'm like, you know what? I'm probably the biggest guy on the block. And I'm covered in tattoos. I got a bald head. I'm going to go to the shower in shower shoes, boxers holding my towel in my hand. So I come out of the tier and I walk to the shower, shower. I come back. The next day I'm down in like the day room and the dude that was in with me, he goes, yesterday when you went to the shower, all the guys in the day room were like, damn, how many years does your celly have been upset? And he was like, yeah, he's never been in trouble in his life. And they're like, what do you mean? He's like, that's just how he looks. And he's like, that guy's never been upstate. And he was like,
Starting point is 00:31:27 he's never been in trouble in his life. So you just carried yourself a certain way? So the way I, the way I, anytime they moved me, every place they moved me was a supermax. I don't know why, but they'd move me to a supermax. So the second supermax they sent me to was the worst supermax in the state. It's where they sent people that can't behave. So like if you were an asshole, that's where you went. So they'd move me there and they moved me there and I'm in assessment again.
Starting point is 00:31:56 And everybody keeps getting called. and I'm like, all right. Now I see the five COs come in with a lieutenant with his camera. I've been moving enough times that means you're going to the hole. They're like, there, cuff up. I'm like, fuck my cuff it up for it. So I like turn around and turn around and walk to the slot. So I'm like, all right, turn around and walk to the slot.
Starting point is 00:32:18 They cuff me up. We start walking. I'm like, where am I going? They're like, the hole. For what? I'm like, what am I going in a hole for? To like bed space. I'm like, so you move me from an assessment place that is.
Starting point is 00:32:28 is meant you stay there until they find a home jail that suits your security level and your program needs. I'm a zero with no programs. I just have 50 months to serve, but you're moving me to the hole. So they're like, you're going to the hole. Okay. So now I go into this like little box, it's like a little three by five box and you have to get strip searched. I've already been strip searched five times and haven't left the box. So what do you strip search me again for? But all right. So I get in this little last cage and it has cameras everywhere because the guys act like assholes and get maced, so it has to be documented. So I'm like, all right, so I give everything out of the slot.
Starting point is 00:33:03 The one CEO was like, give me your wedding ring. I'm like, no. He's like, give me your wedding ring. I'm like, I'm not giving you my wedding ring. He goes, you're going to give me your wedding ring. I'm like, what are you going to do? Put me in a hole? I'm not giving you my wedding ring.
Starting point is 00:33:15 So the LT's like, get dressed. I'm like, all right, I'm getting dressed. We're walking on the hallway. The LT goes, you're out there. I'm like, what's up? He goes, I've never seen somebody I give such a hard time about a wedding ring. I'm like, LT, no disrespect. You guys just moved me six hours away from my home.
Starting point is 00:33:31 I'm on the opposite side of the state. I'm going to the hole. Like, what else do I have? Like, that's the only thing I got left. I'm not giving it to you. So now I'm like, I'm in the hole. I don't know what the hell is going on. So, like, CEO comes by.
Starting point is 00:33:47 I'm like, yo, CEO, do I, is there any rules I have to follow? He's like, no. I'm like, all right. So there was rules. At 6 a.m., you had to be on your door with your light on. that meant you were signing up for shower. I didn't know that because he told me there was no rules.
Starting point is 00:34:01 So I'm like, yo, see, oh, do I get a cup kit? So anytime they move you, you get brown paper bag lunch, bound paper bag breakfast. Like legit, when you go on Brit, you eat peanut butter and orange drink and like a fucking apple. Yeah. That's what you eat every time they move you. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:14 So at this point, I'm like, I don't even want to eat, dude. I don't care. I was like, don't get a cup kit. So they'll give you a little white cup. It has like a deodorant that makes you smell like raw onions. You don't use it. You're just beat. Is that the Bob Barker shit?
Starting point is 00:34:26 Yeah, exactly. Don't even try it. Just go without. You know what I mean? So they give you that. They give you this little last, like, safety toothbrush, shaving cream, but you don't get a razor because you're in the hole. So it's just stupid.
Starting point is 00:34:37 And then toothpaste that you might as well use your finger or whatever. So I'm like, I get a cup kit. He's like, I'll see what I can do. So he drives by, drops the meal slot, throw something in. Like I did something wrong. Like, I didn't do shit, bro. You just moved me. Like, I didn't beat up a CEO.
Starting point is 00:34:51 I didn't, whatever. So I'm like, whatever. I'm just going to go to bed. So I put the shit on. I got to brush my teeth. teeth and I'm like, what the hell is this? I look at it, the bitch gave me shaving cream. So I'm like some motherfucker.
Starting point is 00:35:02 So I whatever. So now I start hearing that like 3 a.m. I hear all this noise. I'm like, what the hell is going on? So I'm on a second tier. They turn all the lights on. I look out the tier and everybody's staying on her bottom bunk. The assholes are flooding the block.
Starting point is 00:35:19 They're flushing their jumpsuits on the second floor and then flooding the block because the guy on the top tier doesn't get along when the guy on the bottom tier. So he knows if he rips his mattress apart or sheet apart and flushes it down a toilet and holds onto it. He can keep flushing and you'll flood the entire block. Yeah. So now the entire block is flooded with water.
Starting point is 00:35:38 I'm standing on second tier like, I'm in here like some kind of animal for a money crime. They do Sundusky from Penn State. Yeah. He's two doors down for me. Wait, you were near Sundusky? Yeah. I'm like, why are we even in the same facility? Did you talk to him at all?
Starting point is 00:35:53 No, because he was two cells down. Now, he was in solitary his whole time? He was in solitary. So they come around and do showers. So I'm watching do showers. I'm on a door like you're supposed to. I'm in my boxers. I got my shower shoes on.
Starting point is 00:36:08 I forgot how you had to hold your towel. You had to hold your towel a certain way. But I'm staying on the door like, all right, I'm going to shower. So I see the CEO hits this door, hits this door, skips my door, hits the other door. Now, when you walk in solitary, you're fully cuffed behind the back. You have to go there, whatever. I'm like, I don't care. I just want to shower.
Starting point is 00:36:25 So, see you, skips my door. I'm like, fuck. So I go, see, oh, see, what's up with the shower? He's like, oh, you weren't on the gate at 5 a.m. I'm like, yo, see, I'm not trying to be disrespectful, but nobody told me that. He's like, well, now you know. So you had to miss a shower. So I'm like, this is stupid.
Starting point is 00:36:42 So now they do their yard, you get your one hour a day, whatever. CEO comes over to me and goes, yo, you want to go to yard? Now you're in a cage by yourself, but I'm like, yeah, I want to get out of here. Of course I want to go to yard. Just like you know, they're out there throwing cups of shit and piss at each other. I'm like, y'all, just staying here. I'm not going out there. How long does this continue for that you're in the hole?
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Starting point is 00:37:58 with all nine essential amino acids to help build muscle, give you energy, and keep you satisfied longer. So keep it real. Look for the seal. Real California milk. Already in the hole, like those first couple months? Yeah, so I'm moved, at that point I moved six times already. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:18 And then I get put in the hole. Now I'm in the hole. And they're like, you go there you're going to you're going to GP I'm like I don't know what GP is but it's better than this so I'm like cool so then I get I get onto a block and I'm walking around and they have
Starting point is 00:38:35 the placers on top it'll say like level two level three level four and then obviously the hole is level five that's how they you go from a level one two one two three four five is the hole so I go I'm walking to the block and it's a level five block I'm like he's fucking people why am I going to a level five block And I walk into the block, and it was the first block that I was ever on at the second tier actually had fences.
Starting point is 00:38:59 So I'm like, oh, what's the fence there for? He's like, so me or you don't get thrown off. I'm like, this is great. And he's just fucking awesome. So now I get put in with a dude that was the dirtiest person in the world, like the dirtiest human being. As a cellmate. As in life. Like this dude probably came from the gutter.
Starting point is 00:39:16 And what do you say to him? I walked in and he's like dug in his hell, doesn't want nobody in his hell. and I look at my thing and it says I'm bottom bunk. He's on the bottom bunk and I'm like I don't know I have 50 months do I really want to deal like I don't know I don't know how this works
Starting point is 00:39:33 do I really want to like start a fight with this guy and I'm going to know what I'll just fine I'll go on the top bunk so going to top bunk and this time is too late for any kind of movement this dude would sit on his bed and roll cigarettes and smoke him like this as he's rolling him so now if I'm trying to sleep but it's either on my back or it's in my face. So I'm like, this fucking guy's killing me.
Starting point is 00:39:57 I'm like, I can't live like this. So I'm on a block a couple of days and I go to some of the guys. I'm like, yo, what's up with this dude? And you're like, he never, nobody ever lies with him. And I'm like, what do you want me to do? Like, what am I supposed to do? They're like, go tell the CO that he's spoken in the cell. And I'm like, I'm not going to tell a COD you spoke in the cell.
Starting point is 00:40:14 Like, I'm not ratting this dude out. So they're like, you have to stay on a block for 30 days before you can request a cell move. and everybody on that cell was either medically coded to be on that cell or it was like you go there until bed space opens up somewhere else. So you're really not meant to stay on that block for a long time. But they didn't know where to put me. So they were like, I go see unit manager and he's like, dude, I don't know why you're here. He's like, you're level two. You don't have a program.
Starting point is 00:40:43 He goes, why did I send you here? I have no idea. There's nothing for you to do. Just don't get in trouble. And I'm like, one of my eligible. for a cell move. He goes, if a bed opens up, I'll give you a cell move. But besides that, you're stuck there. I'm like, all right. There's literally nothing worse than having a bad cellmate. Like, I've been in some shitty-ass situations where the guy smells. There was one guy's
Starting point is 00:41:06 fingernails were like super, super long and didn't shower, didn't do anything, just fucking weird. So what's going on with like your dad at this time? Do you talk to him? Do you know what's going on with his sentence? Not really. So I didn't, I isolated myself from like everybody. So there was like three, three people I talked to the entire 50 months I was away. And if I talked to somebody and they were like, so-and-so was asking about you, I was like, all right, well, they can write a letter.
Starting point is 00:41:33 And if they didn't write a letter, I didn't even try to like, I didn't ask, I didn't ask what was going on outside the walls because one, it didn't pertain to me and two, I didn't do anything about it. Did you know your dad got sentenced to prison though? He got sent the same time as me. Oh, the same day? Yeah, same day. Did you feel bad about that?
Starting point is 00:41:48 at all? I mean, of course. Because once again, I'm 220 pounds. He's 50 years old with a triple bypass or broken back or broken back. He's not in any shape to be, to be dealing with that. How much time did he get? He got 60 months. He got longer than you. Yeah. Why would he get longer than you? Because he didn't show any kind of remorse at sentencing. But he didn't really do anything wrong. He was just... But your son, like my sentencing guidelines were my sentencing guidelines for a zero on the gravity score, never being in trouble in your life. The only thing that, that carried the sentence they gave me was weapons of mass destruction, rape on a minor under the age of like 13, and like homicide.
Starting point is 00:42:29 Was there a lawyer that you could have reached out to maybe for an appeal or no because of your play? I reached out to a lawyer. I paid a lawyer for my reconsideration. And that's why I kept going back and forth on writ. And I had, I hired like the most powerful, what they say, most powerful lawyer in my county for my reconsideration. When that happened, there was a guy that killed five affluent kids in a really rich neighborhood.
Starting point is 00:42:57 So that was like the biggest breaking news. Wait, was that the other kid that killed the kids in the field or whatever? Yeah. Yeah. So his, his, I was already down for like maybe a year and a half when his stuff came through. Yeah. So everybody wanted to take his case because that was like, not only does nobody get killed in Buxia County. You don't kill, five people don't. get killed in Bucks County, especially in New Hook, that he doesn't happen. So everybody, that was
Starting point is 00:43:22 an appealing case for everybody. They wanted to be, they wanted that case. Yeah. So the guy I hired, I didn't get, I ended up getting like his assistant. So I get his assistant. And they moved me all over the state again. I come back down, I see him. And I walk in and, uh, the dude looks like a Ken Dahl. And he's like, uh, yeah, how are you making it out? I'm like, I've been moved 20 times in the last 20 months. He's like, yeah, you're going to have to go in here and tell me you have a drug problem. I'm like, no, I'm not doing it. He was, what do you mean? Like, he'd make it mad at me. I'm like, I'm not going to go in here and tell him I have a drug problem. He's like, dude, you better tell him something. I'm like, I coach high school wrestle in my entire life.
Starting point is 00:44:02 I'd never done a drug in my life. I'd rather 50 people know what I'm going through. Then 50 people would be like, he didn't do drugs. He's just doing that for a lesser sentence. Because your reputation. I wasn't lowering my standards to play the system of the justice system. Yeah. Are your kids coming to visit you or you didn't let them? So county, I only let them come like one time because I don't want them seeing me through glass. Then I made it like a goal to get closure to my home.
Starting point is 00:44:33 So I was in Green County. You're not allowed to get a move for two years until you can request a move. The only way you can request a move is. a hardship, then you're not getting it until tonight. So I'm in green, which is six to half hours away from them. They came up one time then. And I didn't want them, I didn't want them, I didn't want them being in a car for six hours to come see me and then driving home tired six hours. Like, I didn't want, I don't want to be away from them, but I also didn't want to disturb their life with having to deal with that. You know what I mean? Yeah. So I was at green. They came
Starting point is 00:45:08 once. Then out of nowhere one night, I could have used phone. My phone shut off. They usually means they're moving you. So now I'm like, fuck me, it moved again. So now they wake you up at 3.30 in the morning. He moved again. Now they moved me from green to Pittsburgh. Now I'm at SCI Pittsburgh. I get to SCI Pittsburgh. SCI Pittsburgh was built in like 1870. It's like a castle. So now I get there and I was there and same thing. I'm like an assessment block. It's five tiers high. It's like an old, oldest castle. So I could put in a cell with a guy. And at this point, I'm just pissed off that I keep getting moved.
Starting point is 00:45:47 So now I'm not going to say I'm turning a little more into like an inmate, but I'm starting to get a little more like there's no incentive for being good. And this is like the halfway mark of your sentence? This is probably 20 months into my 50 months. So now I'm like there's no, there's no incentive for being good. Like they, you go see the case manager and they're like, yeah, you can sweep a tier if you want. Like, or you can go working in a chow hall. I'm like, I'm not working in chow hall.
Starting point is 00:46:11 but there's no incentive to do good. The only way the state keeps you an incentive to do good is to give you a thing called triple RI. If you get a write-up, triple R is almost like guaranteed parole. It's almost like the Fed's version of a good time. Yeah. But one write-up, they take your triple RI,
Starting point is 00:46:28 so you can't physically get in no trouble at all. But now I'm like, if I knew I can control who was in the cell of me, I did because I was like, I was just over it. I was done. So some bull guy came in, dirtball, and nothing like he walks in like yeah you got coffee I'm like I ain't got shit dude get on top bunk he's on bottom bunk status I don't care get on top like I was just dick so he's like yeah I got to use the bathroom I'm like you're not using the bathroom until he's
Starting point is 00:46:54 doors pop and he's like now I'm using the bathroom I'm like old hair use the bathroom I'm fuck you up so you start to change like your whole mentality I started I started getting mad because there was nothing like I was just there doing nothing I mean the system was kind of failing you in a way There was nothing. There was no incentive for being good. There was no, like, I didn't need any kind of help. I didn't need drug therapies. I didn't do drugs.
Starting point is 00:47:16 I didn't need to learn a trade. Like, I just didn't want to sit idle. And that's what they don't make you, they take a, they are very good at forming a good person into a bad person. And even the surroundings, like, guys are, I'm curious where guys, like, trying to gravitate towards you to learn, like, about business or anything like that. Yeah. So I got a lot of that where guys will, like, come to me and say, like, you know, I'm tired and messing up, what can I do?
Starting point is 00:47:40 Or I would explain to them, like, they would come to me, and they had no idea about money. Everything was instant gratification. So you were allowed to buy tobacco. So I don't eat sweets. I don't eat cany bars. I don't eat honey buns. I don't smoke. So I'm really just sitting there, like, eating chow-haw shit because I'm like, it's horrible,
Starting point is 00:47:58 but it's not, I'm not paying. One, I'm not crushing up, I'm not crushing up shit and making food. Like, I'm not doing that. No, I'm not making a cheat-chee. What's a chow hall food like? Shit. What are they serving you in the state prison? You get the same thing every week.
Starting point is 00:48:15 It just rotates. Really? So like Sunday morning you get hardboard eggs, two hardboard eggs, two pieces of toast, and a milk. It was like a brunch type thing. That's what they did for lunch or lunch in the feds too. So your dinner is your lunch. So your heavier meal is your lunch. So Sunday morning you get two hardboard eggs, two pieces of toast, and a milk and an apple.
Starting point is 00:48:36 then for lunch you would get like either a bologian cheese sandwich or some kind of like goulash shit but no I'm sorry I'm sorry for lunch you would get two grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup oh wow they're very fancy then for dinner you'd get some like shit that they just threw onto a on to a tray yeah but um I didn't really care I was I'm a prison I don't expect the food to be good so I would find either the guys that there was a lot of guys that were like oh I'm going to screw the system I'm going to walk down into the chow hole in the pouring-ass rain or they're freezing and cold I'm going to get my tray and I'm going to throw it in the trash because they owe it to me I'm like yeah go ahead oh head let me get that tray and they would give it to me so I would eat four grill cheese just because I'm not yeah I'm not guys I would be like that like I got mine I'm like you just walked 45 minutes in the rain because the chow halls under jailers were not they weren't on the block yeah so you'd have to walk if you're on the fourth tier you have to walk down four flights of stairs walk through the yard and a
Starting point is 00:49:36 pouring rain, had to get stopped, to get patted down because they would try to bring a pudding back to the cell, and then they would get mad when they pat down and took it. But they'd be like, they would set their goal would be to go get a tray and dump it in a trash. And they'd be like, yeah, I got mine. Did you like develop like a prison hustle or anything to help pass the time? Yeah. What did you do? These people are very, very, very, very poor with money and they're very, very poor with discipline. So I would watch everybody, and I would see what they would do, and I would see him go to commissary,
Starting point is 00:50:08 and you would know when their family got, like, a tax return, or you would know when somebody had sent him money, because it was $75, you'd see them come back with a $75 bag, and then the next commissary, you'd see him come back with, like, two honey buns, and then for three weeks you wouldn't see him with nothing. So I'm like, so what is somebody doing with $75 worth of food, and then it's going within a week? So I'd watch them.
Starting point is 00:50:31 So I'm like, all right. I'd go and spend $75 hours on commissary. I'd get it, put it in the cell. Somebody will see you walking with your bag. They know they can't take it from you because if you look like me, they're not going to try to fight you. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:45 So they might come up to you and be like, yo, wipe with them, get that bag. And they'll go back to you, you're not getting my bag. They're like, yeah, you're out of pocket and they'd walk away because you pretty much like, they would check you, you would check them. And if it wasn't an easy steal, they didn't want no, in their words,
Starting point is 00:50:59 they didn't want no smoke. They're like, wait, what, I want no smoke, like, whatever. But they'd be like, yo, if I give you, if you give me two honey buns, I'll give you three on the store. So I'm like, okay. So I'd give them two to, I'd give them two, they'd give me three. So I started running a store. You built a store.
Starting point is 00:51:18 I built a store up. So I'd build a store up, and you were still allowed to do tobacco. So the patches of tobacco were, I don't know, five bucks. So I'd do two for three on tobaccos. But now, like I said, I don't eat. I don't eat that stuff. So it really, once I had so much stuff, I had no interest in it. Like, what am I going to do with 20 honey buns?
Starting point is 00:51:37 So I'd be like, all right, you know what? I said to give me a two for three on honey bun, give me three bars of Irish spring, or give me a mouthwash, or give me a toothpaste, or give me a deodorant. So now my cosmetics, I'd have like 20 deodorants, 15 toothpaste. I had everything I possibly needed, and I didn't use any money. And then the jail would pay you 42 cents a debt. and I always worked. I always worked.
Starting point is 00:52:03 I cleaned the superintendent bubble or the lieutenant's bubble. So I'd get my $50 a month. My cable was like $20. And then the rest I would just store it. You have to pay for cable in prison. Yeah, you pay $18 a month. And you have a little TV in yourself? You have a 15 inch or a 12 inch.
Starting point is 00:52:21 You have a 12 inch clear TV. And what can you see? What kind of channels? I would pay that cable in the streets and be happy as well. Really? FXX. Discovery, CNN. Is it color?
Starting point is 00:52:32 Yeah. Wow. We didn't have that in the feds. And CNN's the worst because you have the guys that will watch CNN and they come out and they're like politicians and they would argue about, they would argue about stuff that they would see on the street and then they have no way to fact check it. So I'm going to get my almanac and you see him flipping through an almanac. Like their way of asking Syria was I'm going to get my almanac. And then that's how they would like rebuttal on arguing. Are there like politics in these prisons, the state prisons?
Starting point is 00:52:55 You have like your you have your people that get along better with the CEOs and you have your people. people to get along better with, um, like the administration, but there's really no, no paperwork checking or anything like that. The only paperwork check is like if you're sitting, if you're sitting at like a chow hall and somebody knows that there's a pedophile sitting with you, they'll be like, um, yo, he's a tree jumper. A tree jumper. They called pedophiles in prison. But yo, he's a tree jumper. Why a tree jumper? I have no idea. No idea. They had all these names. So the, the block on Graterford, it's probably the most intimidating place you'll ever be in your life. no bullshit.
Starting point is 00:53:30 It's 200 yards long. It houses 750 people that range from guys like me to guys that just killed seven people. Like it's the most, it's the only place where you could potentially be killed at any moment because you don't know who's sitting with you. So if somebody came on the block and it looked like a certain way, they'd be like, yo, 71, make sure with the door pops you have your paperwork. And people would be like, yeah, make sure you have your paperwork. we share your paperwork. Then everybody was starting mule kicking the door. Like, yeah, you better
Starting point is 00:54:01 have your paperwork when a cell pops. So then if they were a pedophile or they weren't a pedophile, now you have 750 people yelling at one cell. So you're like, when this door pops, there's 750 people that are going to kill me. So they'll wait for a CO to come in and they'll check in. So now you'll see the five people coming down with their camcorder. And now if you're all the way at the end of the tier, then we do nah, nah, nah, nah, hey, hey, goodbye. But you have 700 people doing the entire tier. When they're walking. When they're walking down.
Starting point is 00:54:32 So it would start and they'd be like, goodbye, they'd be like, see you, but there's 700 people. That's crazy. Doing it. Did you see anything crazy happen to, like, these sex offenders at all? No, they're so protected. Yeah. They're so protected.
Starting point is 00:54:44 Like, one, you're only allowed two phone calls and three phone calls a day, and they can't go back to back. And besides drugs in the game, one, the only thing you'll get killed for in the state prison is the phones. A cell phone or the, the regular? regular block phones. Okay. So they made, they made the block phones a dollar, 99 cents for a 20 minute, or a 15 minute phone call.
Starting point is 00:55:07 They used to be like $5 for phone calls, so people didn't use them. But when they made them affordable, everybody wanted to get on the phone. So at first they were unlimited, but dudes were getting like beat up over the phone. So they started putting policies in for the phone. So I remember at one time in Pittsburgh, the phones are in a yard. So if it's pouring rain, you want to call your wife or you want to call, like your grandmom's dying. You go outside in the rain and you stand in the rain to talk on the phone. That's the only way you're getting on the phone.
Starting point is 00:55:33 So I remember one time I'm on the phone, and the phones were set up by either, they had like these little bullshit gangs. I don't know anything about the feds, but they had like the, if you're white with a bullhead, you were like a skinhead, but they were, whatever. That's a whole other story. But everybody had your own little phone. Like the Muslim had their phone, the Spanish had their phone. The white dudes never had their phone.
Starting point is 00:55:54 Like a white girl didn't get phones unless you actually got, So white people didn't get the phone unless you found somebody that worked in a yard. So what I would do was I would run the store. Then I would take the store money and the guys that worked in the yard. I'd like, yo, here's two douches of tobacco. While you're out cleaning the yard, make sure you hold the phone from me. So then they would call yard. Everybody would run and get to the phone.
Starting point is 00:56:14 He'd be staying there holding the phone. I'd walk over and I'd get the phone. And everybody was like, yo, how'd you get a phone? Well, I paid him to hold the phone. Did people have like a phone hustle where they would sell their minutes to people? Like add someone onto their phone log and then let them. them call when they ran out a minutes a month because we only had like a limit of like 300 minutes per month that you could use so we didn't have minutes we had we had you had you had you had to buy a phone
Starting point is 00:56:36 card but it was it unlimited per month you can spend like 10 dollars we get you like 10 minutes 20 dollars get you 20 minutes or I'm sorry 10 dollars we get you get you I feel it it was 10 hours we get you X amount of minutes but if you're people on the street paid for the phone calls themselves you can call them as much as you want it and they would just get charged a dollar a phone call so no one ever ran out of minutes or anything. No, everybody ran out of minutes because they would try to call their girl to yell at him that's not answering them. And they would buy a phone card and they'd have to wait from Tuesday because Tanya
Starting point is 00:57:07 hung up on them on Tuesday, but commissary doesn't come until Friday. Yeah. So now he has to wait Friday for his phone time to come on. So now his phone time comes on and he's running to the phone to yell at Tanya because he couldn't talk to her for three days because he ran out of phone time. Yeah. Did you have like a prison nickname that they were calling you? No, not really.
Starting point is 00:57:22 So you just really for the most part kept to yourself. Yeah, so people would be like, yo, what did they call you? I was like Ryan. That was it. That was it. You're just very nonchalant throughout like this, this experience. I mean, I didn't really have a choice, dude. Like, what are you going to do?
Starting point is 00:57:32 You can't go nowhere. That's true. So I went from being able to control my life 100% to here you go. But not everyone could just like adapt like that. You were able to adapt. You don't have a choice. What are you going to do? I guess that's true.
Starting point is 00:57:43 You're sitting in a cell and cry? And how's your relationship with like your mother at this point? Um, she would, she wished I would have talked to her and were, but I really just didn't, I didn't talk to anybody. I didn't want to, I didn't want to burden anybody with me being like, so if you're, If you're on the phone, the one time I was on the phone, and if you ever heard somebody get cracked in the head with a sock and a lock, it's probably the most distinctive sound you ever hear in your life.
Starting point is 00:58:06 And I'm on the phone, and this dude next to me gets whacked with a sock in the lock because he was on the wrong phone. And then everybody started rumbling. I hung the phone up and I walked away. I'm like, whatever, dude, do you? But I didn't want to be, if I'm on the phone, my mom, and now this dude just gets cracked and you start hearing all these people fighting and I hang up and they lock us down for five days and you can't get back on the phone now how's your mom going to feel yeah yeah I mean like
Starting point is 00:58:30 scary shit like I was talking to him and then all of a sudden I heard a fight and now I'm not I don't know what's going on yeah and there's no way for them to like call and check up because they don't tell them any information your mom calls a jail and one your mom's going to call to jail and whoever finds out is you'd be like your mom called to jail because it happened some kids mom called to jail and they actually came and got them off the block really yeah do you see like a lot of corruption by prison guards at all? Not really. I mean, you see, my whole thing was, I was in there, my charge was receiving a payment and fails to perform. And then I would see a CEO that's getting paid overtime, sleeping.
Starting point is 00:59:03 And then I would walk by and they'd be like, hey, inmate. And I'm like, dude, you're doing the same shit that I'm charged for. Yeah. And they're like, what do you mean? I'm like, you're sleeping. And they were legit sleep. And the superintendents wouldn't care. The lieutenants wouldn't care.
Starting point is 00:59:16 Or you would drive by, you'd walk by a bubble and they'd have their feet up. And they would take the block remote and they're watching whatever they want to watch. Yeah. And what are you going to do? What about like contraband? Is there like cell phones, anything like that in the prison? I've never seen a drug in real life until I went to prison. Really?
Starting point is 00:59:30 Never in my life. So what kind of drugs do they have in like the prison? So the guys in the PA used to get mad at me because over the course of my 50 months, I watched them lose. They're like, like their privileges. So they would take the mail and it was sprayed a mail with some The K2 spray. K2 spray. They were sprayed in mail with K2.
Starting point is 00:59:55 And then they would cut it in their little strips. And I remember one time I'm mopping a tier, I'm on a third tier. And this kid, some people called it K2, some people called a spice. Some people called it deuce. And if you were in Pittsburgh, they called it tookie. Tucky. But that was what deuce or K2 was. So I remember I'm mopping the tier and the third tier.
Starting point is 01:00:14 And the CO is like halfway down. And his kid comes out. and he's butt-ass naked, and he starts going like this. So I'm thinking he's praying because that's how the Muslims pray. But then he crosses his arms, and he falls straight back onto the tier. And he starts going into a seizure. So the CO's like, what's up with him? I'm like, I don't fucking know.
Starting point is 01:00:34 So now I walk over because the dude's about to roll off the tier. So I'm like grabbing this dude. The CO comes over, they call. Two OCOs come on. Like, in me, get in the fucking block. I'm like, dude, I was just mopping the tier. Like, I don't know what the hell is going on. So then that was like 2017.
Starting point is 01:00:51 And then 2019, a dude stomped out his CO with his Timberlands on and kills him in the dayroom. I wasn't there for that. It was a different facility. Over the K2. Over. I don't know what it was about. But he was probably on K2. I'm blending stories here.
Starting point is 01:01:06 Okay. So you're allowed to have Timberlands. Yeah. So we get locked down for like three weeks. Now they send, they put a thing on the TV. If you have Timberlons, you can do that. surrender them and pay to mail them home to your family or you can give them to us and we'll trash them so now all the guys started losing their shit they're freaking out they're taking our
Starting point is 01:01:26 tims how we're going to go to work how we're going to do this i'm like i had timbs go to go to work at this point i worked on a farm driving the backhoe and doing all like you're at a lower security i'm at lower security where you should have been from the get-go yeah but it took me 30 months to get there so we would go down they'd like yo are you going to give up your tims i'm like yeah well how are you go to work. I'm like, in this brown state boots they give me. They're like, we don't think this is bullshit. And I'm like, you guys need to realize the Timberlins are a privilege. You stomped out of CEO and killed them with Timerlans on.
Starting point is 01:01:55 So they're taking them. Like you did it to yourself. And you're like, yeah, but what have I stopped them out in my bare feet? I'm like, they're not going to take your bare feet. Like you have a privilege. They took your privilege. That's it. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:02:06 So we're locked down for three weeks for that. Then two weeks were good. We got locked down again for like a month. Now they don't know. They said four COs or five COs in the mail room, opened something up, and they all got like real sick. So now they're like, all right, no more mail. So we're locked down for like five weeks. They're going around sanitizing everything.
Starting point is 01:02:25 They know what the hell's going on? They got CERT team coming from like every jail coming in doing shakedowns. Then they finally let us out and we get a letter saying that now all of our mail has to go to a central hub in Florida. Florida photocopy your mail. Email that to the jail. The jail will print it and it'll give it to you. so now you can't get real pictures of your family anymore everything's a black photocopy all your mail goes to Florida gets photocopied and sent back yeah so now they're all on the block
Starting point is 01:02:53 like this is bullshit we're going to do a hunger strike and i'm like guys you were smuggling drugs and through the mail and you got caught yeah that's why they took your mail no they're out of pocket no you got a pocket yeah we had a couple guys on from um jessie crosson and colin ray um and they both told similar stories about how the mail got taken away. And the feds, K2 was getting big because people were spraying it. So they banned like your mail couldn't smell and they photocopied everything. Because people were getting it on. They'd make thousands of dollars off of one piece of paper through the mail.
Starting point is 01:03:28 It's insane. Yeah, so they were doing K2 and they were doing, um, hell is this other stuff. I forget what it was. But it was like literally it would be the smallest truck. Suboxin. Suboxin. Yeah. Suboxin.
Starting point is 01:03:43 The smallest, like, they were calling them strips, I think. Yep. Yeah. So they were taking, like, a strip that looked like a listerine strip, and it looked like a listerine strip, and they're making, like, thousands of dollars off it. What was, like, the currency in the jail cell? Was it, like, stamps, or was it just cigarettes? At first it was tobacco.
Starting point is 01:04:00 Then they took tobacco out. And then it was tobacco. They took tobacco out. Then they went to e-cigarettes. So it was kind of still e-cigarettes. They had e-cigarettes in the prison. So when they went smoke-free, it went to e-cigarettes. They went to pens.
Starting point is 01:04:12 They were selling pens? Yeah. That's how much was a pen selling for? I want to say $5. That's it? Yeah, $5. That seems pretty cheap for a fun. And then you get like, I guess you smoke at like, I don't know, 50 puffs and it's dead.
Starting point is 01:04:24 Yeah. Wow. That's a, I guess that's a good mark of. I think it's 100% tobacco free now. Now, how old are you when you actually get out of prison? What year is it? 25 and it's 2019. So you're 25 when you got?
Starting point is 01:04:36 I'm sorry. I'm 30. I'm 30. I'm sorry. I went in a 25. Timeline didn't make sense. I'm 30. I'm 30.
Starting point is 01:04:41 So you're 30 years old. What was it like to be like reintegrated with your family? So when I went to the minimum camp, I was more, when I went to the minimum camp, I was there for 20 months and it was more normal. Like I went to work every day. I ran a back hour. I ran a loader. I worked outside to jail. I was on CWP.
Starting point is 01:05:00 So I went to like churches and picked up trash and stuff. So me, I worked outside to jail every day. So I saw cars. I would snow plow to parking lots. So I was never really, my life. last 20 months, I wasn't inside the facility. I took care of a superintendent's property. So when I left, I walked out the same door that I walked out every day. So it wasn't really like a, it wasn't really like a shock. Like I was behind a wall for 50 months. Yeah. But as soon as I came out,
Starting point is 01:05:28 it was right back to work, like didn't miss a beat. What did you get back into? So when I was up there, when I was in the minimum security place, they were demoing. I essentially helped build the jail that I was housed in. So they were closing down in Greaterford and they were open in SCI Phoenix. It was on the same grounds. So I would load out the dumpsters of scrap. So the guy that would come to do the scrap would do the dumpsters. I was like, hey, listen, I'm going to need a dumpster on Tuesday. I'm going to need a dumpster on Wednesday. And I'm going to dumpster on Thursday. So it was always just me and this guy. I would load a dumpster. He would take it. He'd bring a new dumpster. I'd like, hey, I wanted it over here.
Starting point is 01:06:04 So this guy for the longest time thought that I was actual staff because he dealt in me. I wore gray pants and a white shirt and a flat rim hat. So he thought out of staff. So the one day they were doing something. And he was like, yeah, we can't do it on Saturday because there's nobody here to run the machine. And he's like, well, what about Ryan? He's like, Ryan's an inmate.
Starting point is 01:06:24 And the guy's like, he's an inmate. He's like, yeah, he's an inmate. So when I saw the guy again, he was like, hey, listen, this is where we, this is where I work. I told my boss about you when you get out. He has a job for you right away, no questions asked. So I'm like, okay, so the day I got out, I went in, checked with parole, went and got my driver's license. And then I called that, I called that place and was like, hey, listen, I'm ready to go.
Starting point is 01:06:49 When can I come? He's like, come tomorrow for an interview. I went there for the interview. And then the following day, I think like the fourth day being home, I was back to work in 12 hours. That's great. Yeah, I went right back. Like, didn't miss a beat. Now, because of like your personality and like your outlook on life and like your mindset,
Starting point is 01:07:05 did you have a lot of clashes with probation? because I feel like you're intelligent, like, with the system and how stupid it kind of runs. So did you clash with, like, your probation officer or anything like that? No, my probation officers are real. The thing that gets you, the thing that gets you in trouble is, like, they even used to do it there. Like, hey, see, okay, I go to the third tier, if you live on second tier. Like, I go to third tier, he'd be like, well, I don't know. Well, I don't know.
Starting point is 01:07:29 It won't hurt me. Or, yeah, you can as long as you don't get caught. I'm not trying to not get caught. I'm just trying to do what you asked me to do. Yeah. So if you would tell me I have to pay this on this, I paid on that day. If you tell me you have to send this, I do that. There's no, there's no, like, I'm not trying to get in no trouble. I'm not trying to be smarter than anybody else. Whatever
Starting point is 01:07:47 you need me to do, just let me know what you want me to do and I'll do. Was there like a restitution order that you have to pay monthly? Yes, I paid that every month. And how much is the monthly payment? A hundred bucks. That's it. And it's, what was it like the total amount owed? 630,000. And you're responsible for everything or does your dad pay a portion of that? He has his own. He has his own restitution. What was it? What was it? What was it? it like getting out of prison and talking to him and like rebuilding your relationship with him? So he got out a year after I did and then I still didn't talk to him like here and there. Not no bad blood thing. I just, I don't, like I said, I don't want to talk about it. It's the past.
Starting point is 01:08:22 So I don't want to, I don't really care to hear about it. Like you're the first person I ever talked to about it because I didn't, I did it. It happened. I'm not trying to be like, oh, I'm a victim. They did this to me. It's not like I went there, I did it. I saw some stuff I shouldn't assault. I saw some stuff that. I can't believe they get away with it. And I saw corruption in our justice system, but I'm not going to go start a movement to be like, you know, this is bullshit. But there's a lot of stuff that goes on there that people have no idea about. Like myself, I didn't know about. What would you say is like the biggest thing you were shocked by your whole experience?
Starting point is 01:08:57 The amount of money they waste. Like they waste ridiculous amounts of money. And nobody cares because if the budget is $60 million, those people, spend $90 million. And it's not like a, hold on, wait, why are you spending $90 million? It's right. Next year, we're going to give you $100. Then we're going to spend $120. There's no. There's no. There's no cap. There's no oversight. There's no, nobody cares. If they spend 90 and they're supposed to spend 70, well, we'll just give you another 50. There's no, the amount of stuff they waste, the amount of staff that they waste. You would hear them on
Starting point is 01:09:31 on the radio say, like, hey, we need one CO to work. It was 6 to 2, 2 to 10, and then 10 to 6. So at like 8 o'clock in the morning Like hey we need a CO to work 2 to 10 You and I would be on the same block No hold on we'll wait Then at 11 o'clock Still need you 5 COs to work 2 to 10
Starting point is 01:09:51 You and I'd be like Yo yeah watch this Now at 12 o'clock We need two COs to work Two to 10 time and a half Like hold on wait Now at 1.30 You know we need two COs to work double time
Starting point is 01:10:05 Yeah all right You all right I'll take it So you could literally sit there and be like, all for now, it's just going to be time and a half. If I wait a little longer, if they're desperately meeting somebody, they're going to give me double time. So you can just make your own, like the CEOs would be like, hey, listen, you're going to see me a lot. I'm working 15 doubles this month because I'm trying to buy a new jet ski. That's crazy. So you would see CEOs that would just work and work and work and work and work and they work 15, 15 doubles or 10 doubles or they would work as much as they possibly could because there was nobody there to be like,
Starting point is 01:10:37 Like, hold on a minute, dude, you have 50 hours overtime. How is this possible? And whoever signed off on it was like, well, we need 120 COs. If we only have 110 COs, we have to either lock down to jail and then that costs money because now you have to send out trades, blah, blah, blah. This is my thing. And they don't think that way. But there would just CEOs would just be like, all right, yeah, I'll take it. Now, was it hard for you to interact with, like, your kids, like, friends' parents at all, like navigating that as that dad that came out of prison?
Starting point is 01:11:06 No, because like I said, I don't talk to people. So they don't know you went to prison or they know? They know, but if they know, they won't say anything, like for baseball and stuff, people know. But I'll be right back to doing the same thing. I raked the fields. I make sure the kids have what they need. If a kid doesn't have something, I'll buy it for them.
Starting point is 01:11:19 You're also an intimidating person to look at. Like, I don't know. Like, you're just like if I wouldn't be one to ask you about your experience, like if, like, my kid knew that, like, you went to prison, I wouldn't go up to you and say, hey, how was prison? You know, like, I feel like people are more comfortable asking me because I look like a kid and it's like they're talking to their kid. But I don't know.
Starting point is 01:11:40 I just feel like in your scenario, not everyone's coming up to you to ask you about that. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. I guess so. I'm not bad, dude. Do you, like, talk about it with like your immediate family, girlfriend, wife, or anything like that? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:11:53 But not so like I said, maybe five people know besides you now and these guys. Because, you know, there's like a curiosity for people that have never been through it before. So I think there's a curiosity about it, but I also think that when you tell people some of the stuff that you saw, they'd like, no way in hell. Yeah. Like if you tell somebody, on a Friday night, I had a 12-inch TV, my tablet that I could write letters to that are almost text, listening to my biggie smalls that just doesn't curse because it's Walmart music, why I'm drinking a soda that I bought on a yard and a tub of ice cream because I had an ice cream ticket. It's chilling in myself by myself. by myself because then I got I was in a co- I was in a cell by myself for almost my last 30 months yeah but if you tell somebody yeah like what are you doing right now I'm sitting on myself watching
Starting point is 01:12:46 the born adjacent born movie eating ice cream on my tablet they'd be like dude you're in prison you're like yeah no shit I did it's crazy I remember seeing like guys getting Ben and jerry's every day because you could buy Ben and Jerry's yeah ice cream um just all the comments you can get all this stuff. It's literally, I mean, the MP3 players, the $20 Walmart ones, they're sending for $120 and music like $2 each. They were selling 15 inch clear TVs for $300. Wow. And a little tombstone radio that you get at like five below was like 20 bucks. I mean, they say it's not for profit, but it is like they're making it's 100% for profit. Yeah, they make even the private facilities are worse because they could give you less for what they're charging for. But like the federal and the state prisons,
Starting point is 01:13:33 like they're making a ton of money off of it that's what keeps it flowing yeah so they when they switched over to they switched the food provider over and it went from like shit to shit like the food went from edible to almost edible do you end up uh going back into business at all starting your own company do you want to no you feel like you have like PTSD from it or no i just i have no interest in um I have no interest in going through that again. So, like, I did as much as I could possibly do as a person and a business owner with, like, my community, with kids, with sports with, with, I did, when I, when I first came home, I was actually like, you know what, I'm never doing anything for anybody again. If I see somebody broke down on the side road, fuck you, call AAA. Like, I was so, I want to say I was hostile, but I was so sour.
Starting point is 01:14:26 You're better, yeah. I was so sour that what I did leading up to that and then what they made me look like and then what I went through when I was there said I was like, I'm not going to be a good human no more. Like it's not like I said, there was no incentive to be good. Now obviously I never ever want to go back there again. But there was no incentive to be like, I've never not held the door for somebody. I never not started the message with good morning to somebody.
Starting point is 01:14:48 I never, like I never not helped somebody. You know what I mean? Yeah. But then I was like, no, I don't want to help nobody do shit. Like I'm going to go to work and I'm going to. go to my house and leave me alone. Have you seen yourself becoming a person you didn't want to be though and you've kind of like scaled back?
Starting point is 01:15:03 When I was there, absolutely. And what about like now? Do you feel like you've gotten back to who you were before prison? Yeah. So I'm back to, I coach my kids baseball teams. I run the league, the baseball league down where we're at. I'm still involved in the community. So I still do everything I said I wasn't going to do, I'm back to doing me because
Starting point is 01:15:26 I'm not, I can't not do it. How long to take you to find yourself again, I guess, you could say? Work-wise, right, like I said, right away, went right back to work. But then, like, stepping back out into community, like, putting my name back out there without, so I never did anything like this. I don't, like, if there's a Facebook page, marketplace or a common group and somebody's, like, looking for a recommendation for something, I won't write your name because I don't want some asshole being like, oh, yeah, that was him, blah, blah, blah, because I'm like,
Starting point is 01:15:56 I don't feel like here. his noise. So I would like send somebody a message. Like if you were looking for something that I knew my buddy had it, I'll still network other people's businesses. But I would do it privately because I don't want to hear backlash from anybody being like, oh, he's recommending a tree company. But he did, I didn't want my name, uh, tarnished in like anybody else is saying like, oh, well, if he's recommending him, he can't be a good person. So why did you finally feel comfortable enough to come and talk about it? Like what propelled you to come and even do this? Um, I think.
Starting point is 01:16:26 people now are so people now are so like disconnected with reality and especially with COVID like people see stuff people see stuff and hear stuff and I have no idea but it's true so people will be like oh well I have to wear a mask or I'm going to die
Starting point is 01:16:42 no you don't or like if I go to prison I'm always in a piece of shit no you're not like no matter what you no matter what happens to you in life you control your life so if you're in the worst possible situation in the world and you take that worst possible situation and I'm not going to say you don't capitalize off it,
Starting point is 01:17:01 but if you don't learn from it, you're just ignorant to life. So like the stuff that you went through, I didn't go through. The stuff I went through, you didn't go through. But if somebody listens to what you say and it helps them get through something, if somebody listens to what I say and it helps them get through something, people just need to see that. It's okay to have a mistake. It's okay to mess up.
Starting point is 01:17:20 Do you think it's like motivating for someone to hear these kinds of stories? I would hope so. Yeah, I would hope so. I hope somebody that either has like a drug problem. My main thing is I hate drugs. I hate drug addicts. I hate drugs. I don't feel bad for them. But I will help with a drug addict as much as that doesn't make sense. It's like if somebody came to me and they were like, hey, I just got out of rehab or hey, I just got out of prison and I don't know what to do. I don't know how to get a job. What do you want me to do? As long as you are clean and you're willing to work, I will find somebody that will give you a job. Yeah, I mean, as long as you want to work and you want to do better. People will help you do better. Yeah. If you choose to be a shitty person or you choose to continuously get high and blame everybody else, you're never going to see. If you had like the opportunity to send a letter, say to your old 20 year old self,
Starting point is 01:18:09 what would you write? What would you say to that person? Slow down. Slow down. You don't have to do everything. You don't have to do everything 100 miles an hour and you don't have to do everything to look like you got it under. You don't have to do everything to look like you got under control.
Starting point is 01:18:24 it's okay to make a mistake. You're literally like the older version of me because that's like my mentality like everything was like rush rush rush super ambitious and then like I covered things up because I didn't want like that failure identity with me. I was so like I had a successful business and I wanted to keep scaling it and then it just like it catches up to you so fast when you're not taking things slow. And now I feel like my mindset's so much more different now I'm more cautious and I'm looking at things and analyzing and it's kind of like it's interesting to see like those crazy things that brought us, you know, to where we are now. But Ryan, thank you for coming on the show, man. It's great talking to you. I'm happy. We're the first people you're sharing
Starting point is 01:19:02 your story too. And I think the audience is really going to like it because like your situation, my situation, two different things, but it could happen to anyone. Like you just, you really never know, it could be bad timing. It could be, you know, you're hanging out with the wrong crowd, anything. It can happen. Absolutely. So thank you, man. Appreciate it. Thank you.

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