Locked In with Ian Bick - I Was Sent to Juvenile Prison — This Is What It’s Like | Michy Morillo

Episode Date: November 11, 2025

Michy Morillo opens up about her experience being pushed into the street life at a young age and how quickly things escalated. As a teenager, her house arrest was revoked, and she was sent to juvenile prison, where she spent years navigating a system that was not built to help kids, but to break them. Michy shares what it was like to be locked away so young, separated from family, and forced to adapt to an environment where survival came before everything else. She talks about the emotional and psychological impact of incarceration — acting out, being isolated, and learning to shut down her feelings just to make it through. But what stands out in Michy’s story is not just the pain — it’s the transformation that came after. She explains how she eventually found purpose, rebuilt her identity from the ground up, and committed herself to helping the youth who are walking the same path she once did. #LockedInWithIanBick #JuvenilePrison #RealStories #StreetLife #SystemFailedMe #LifeLessons #RedemptionJourney #changeyourlife Thank you to ExpressVPN for sponsoring this episode: Secure your online data TODAY by visiting https://www.expressvpn.com/lockedin to find out how you can get up to four extra months. Social Media: @Michye.Morillo Website: Millionyouthmission.org (Donate, Pray or Share) Hosted, Executive Produced & Edited By Ian Bick: https://www.instagram.com/ian_bick/?hl=en https://ianbick.com/ Shop Locked In Merch: http://www.ianbick.com/shop Timestamps: 00:00 Intro — “This Is Where It All Started” 02:23 Thrown Into the System as a Teenager 05:50 Trying to Survive While My Family Fell Apart 11:00 Inside Juvenile Detention — What They Don’t Tell You 17:39 Growing Up Without a Father & Filling the Void 22:08 Drugs, Betrayal, and Looking for Belonging in the Streets 28:05 The Legal Trouble That Changed Everything 33:34 What Juvenile Detention Does to a Kid’s Mind 41:39 Trauma, Family Pain & Why So Many Follow the Same Path 47:12 The Moment Everything Shifted — Choosing Change 53:35 How “Cell Dreamer” Was Born Out of Pain 57:36 For Anyone Trying to Give Back — Start Here 01:02:02 A Message to Parents & The Kids Still Caught in the System Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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I didn't say that. It came to me. My village failed me. So after that betrayal, what happens to you? I cut my ankle brace it off. And then I heard or not that Monday morning. And it was my probation officer with two cops. How did your mom react to you being sentenced to spend two years of your life in, you know,

essentially a prison for children? This is Michie Murillo. As a teenager, she was thrown into the system and locked away. Not because she was beyond saving, but because nobody ever stopped to ask why she was hurting in the first place. Meechie, welcome to Locked in. Thanks so much for leaving the warm to come to the cold today. Ian, this is love right here.

Let me tell you. This is love. Yeah. Because I don't do this. I only do this for my kids that are locked up. You know, so this is love right here. So thank you for having me. Well, the warm coat looks good on you.

I don't think you're rocking that in Florida. Oh, no, so I had to pull it out. No, it looks fresh. You got the boots ever, the whole outfit, it looks good. Appreciate you, brother. Yeah, appreciate you. And, you know, tell the audience about this. This is the coolest book I've ever received from a guest.

And I get a lot of books, pretty much every guest that comes. But this has its own package. Like, this is sick. Thank you, whoever came up with this, you got to give them a raise. Me. All right, so give yourself a raise right here. That's awesome. Do you want to just tell the audience about this?

I love to link to this in the description. Absolutely. So that book right there is Cell Dreamer. I created that book. because I was locked up my entire teenage years, my entire teenage years, and even the name Cell Dreamers is because I was in a cell dreaming of a better life.

I wanted something better. And I was like, you know what? If I take you back, I'm gonna take you for a ride, but I ended up creating that book because I created what I needed. I'm a former juvenile delinquent, my entire teenage years, I was locked up from the age of 14 and 18.

In and out, in and out, in and out. It was that school to prison, pipeline that no one talks about. You know, like, even Mike, all these artists, they have a pass and it's crazy because when you go and you look at their history, I give them a lot of respect for where they are now because when you don't escape that school to prison pipeline, it's harder for you to succeed, you know, and it was something I wasn't able to escape. And like I said, I was locked up.

My father didn't come back. And I see this story because it's like, what? At four years old, my father was like, don't blow out your birthday candles. I'll be right back. And he never came back yet. Like, never came back. And I think it did something to my soul to where I was like, you know what? I was rebelling.

And my mom moved me from New York to Boston, a little town called Hey,ro. And I turned that place upside down. And I was just mad. I was angry. And got locked up the first time. because I had weed second time. My mom bailed me out. I ended up going back in.

So I was in and out of the system my entire teenage years. Did you move to Boston after your dad walked out? Yep, after. So right around after? Yeah, so my father didn't come back when I was four years old. And then my mom moved us from New York to Boston when I was 11. Why Boston? A little, it was a little small town.

She wanted a better school for me. So from New York to a little town called Hayrow, it just seemed right for her. It seemed right for her. How many of you were there, siblings? Me and my sister. Me and my sister. So I'm nine years older. Okay.

So when I was 11, you know, she's nine years younger. So she didn't really see a lot of things that I went through because my mom kind of also hit that from her, you know. And it's funny because my mom. Mom told me this when I got older. My sister made a promise to my mom that she wasn't going to turn out like me. I did something. That hurts.

You know, when your sister tells your mom, like, I'm not going to turn out. I'm going to turn out better because I was in time. Again, my entire teenage years, you know, I didn't really have an adolescent years. I didn't. What did you, Mom day for work? So my mom, she worked at the post office for a while. She's a decorator. She's an interior decorator.

And I come from a phenomenal family. My mom's amazing. I am who I am today because of my mother. You know, she was the one who gave me not only the strength to change God first, but it was like, you know what? I seen my mom cry too many times. I saw her on her knees crying, you know, praying. I come from a family of faith, you know.

So I saw her crying and I was like, man, what am I doing? I'm like, man, I love my mom at another level. And when I say that I love my mother, I have a tattooed on my right hand. She's my right hand. You know what I'm saying? She's my best friend. And I'm like, how am I doing this to my best friend? How I'm doing this to my mom? After she went ahead and want to give me a better life, how I'm moving like that? So I was like, you know what? I got a change, you know, between that and then my cousin getting stabbed. You know, my cousin got stabbed and I was like, I got to move. So I ended up moving from New York to Boston. Then when I turned 18, I ended up going to job core because I had two choices, either die in the streets

or find a better way of living. And, you know, or get locked up, you know, at 18, go to an adult prison. There was fear there. There was fear there. You know, I had two options. Either get my life together or that's it, get killed, you know, so I was like, no, I can't do this anymore. Tell us about your dad. Did he actually walk out on your actual birthday? Or what was that situation like? Yes, and my father was into Coke. And I remember, again, four years old, and he told me, just don't blow out your birthday candles, ended up. And I remember just blowing out my birthday candles with tears in my eyes. You know, I could remember it like it was yesterday. And back in the days, I wasn't even able to tell you and sit in any podcast, for that matter,

and talk about it without tears in my eyes, you know, but this is something you've got to heal from. So he ended up not coming back that night. You know, he eventually came back. But my mom was like, nah, it's either going to be drugs or us. So my mom was like, yeah, nah, my daughter deserves better, you know, and she moved us to Boston. Do you know what I ended up happening then after that?

Yeah, so me and my mom. me and my father are cool now, you know, I told them how I felt. Again, I think that's part of healing, you know, especially for a Latina woman like me, you know, I think that a lot of, we don't realize how fathers are important in our lives, you know what I mean? Like I said, even though I came from a healthy, good family, the absence of my father, you miss that. You know what I mean, and I feel like a lot of our black and brown community, the fathers are usually absent, you know, and that's the reason that I created the parent version of Cell Dreamer so that they know how to navigate through an at-risk youth, you know, because that's important within

itself. So to answer your question, I didn't see him for like 15 years after. 15 years after. He was still in the drugs. He was still selling drugs, using drugs. and it was something that my mom pulled me away from. You know, I just got in contact with him maybe like a few years ago. I want to say about seven years ago, seven, eight years ago. Were you getting into trouble in New York at all before you guys moved to Boston? No, not in New York. It was all Boston.

Like I said, it was all Boston. So my mom would bail me out. I would, like I said, she would bail me out. I would go back and bail me out because my mom is such a supporter that she wanted the best for me, of course. But I wasn't learning, Ian. That was where the issue lied. I wasn't learning. And the best thing that I believe that a parent can do for a child is let them have the natural consequences, right?

Because when you bail your kid out, you know, and again, this is the reason I have a parent version for them that I created in his car Ignite the Dream is because you're either raising a child or rescuing a child. You're either raising them or rescuing them. My mom rescued me from my natural consequences. So think about it. But I'm locked up three times. There's no reason why you should be bailing me out. And the reason, so then the judge was tired. But I was like, you know what?

You're going to have to stay here. You're not learning. So since you're not learning, now you have to stay here. So I ended up staying locked up. I was 16 and a half. And he said, you have to stay here until you're 18 now. So I was locked up until I was 18. And then I had a choice.

Then I got out, but I went back to the same. environment and I saw everybody still doing drugs still just being a mess right and I was like then my cousin ended up getting stabbed and I was like this ain't it this ain't it I have to reinvent myself I said what would happen if I just move and I create and I'm intentional right because if I'm doing this all this while being unintentional what happens if I'm intentional and I move and I and I rock this and here I'm I am. I ended up volunteering. I was 28 at the time, and I volunteered at a detention center. And one kid told me, like, you don't know, well, you don't know about this life. I said, and a light

bubble went off. And when I said that a light bulb went off, I was like, wait, what? I'm like, I do know. And I found myself explaining myself to this kid. And I was like, you know what? I'm going to create something that even if I leave, my words stay. So I created a Cell Dreamer. not realizing in that it was going to take off in the detention world. Completely took off. Right now, we went 28 states. We had, that's a whole curriculum, not realizing that, hey, so the school that expelled me ended up finding out that I wrote a book, so they hired me.

So the school that expelled me ended up hiring me and said, hey, listen, can you come and speak to our at-risk kids? Because who better than you? So I ended up taking that contract, and it was the best thing I did. because I was able to not only give back, but show them, like, you guys expelled me, but you guys didn't ask me the right questions. And that's what Cell Dreamer is about, is asking the right questions, you know, because the school to prison pipeline is real.

It's real, you know. And the goal is for it to stop at that pipeline. And I go from the school to prison pipeline to now to go to a prison, right? because once you go to a prison, you already know. And a lot of these kids that I deal with, they're not bad kids. You're not a bad kid. A lot of the kids that I work with, they're not bad kids. I deal with killers.

But that does not make them a bad kid. They made a bad choice. There's a difference. Right? And when you look at it from a lens of compassion, instead of asking, why did you do that? Is what are you going through? When you ask that question, then you'll get an answer.

I'm doing this because of X, Y, Z. You get what I'm saying? And it's like people don't realize. So I got in this field, like I said, it took off in the detention world. I just launched the Middle Youth Mission last year, 10 months ago, last year. And the goal is to have the audience be part of the village, right? So many people. My village failed me, Ian.

think about who you hung out with back in the days. I was introduced to drugs. I didn't turn 15 and say, okay, where's the coke at? Where's the weed at? I didn't say that. It came to me. So that means that my village failed me. So I have a campaign out right now, and it's the be the village campaign.

Because a lot of people will say it takes a village, it takes a village. But where's the responsibility in that? Where's the responsibility in saying it takes a village? village. That means that you're taking away from saying, I can do something. So it's be the village. So we have a campaign now and there's the mini youth mission. And what we're doing is we're getting donations. So now we're getting the community, and we're being a village. So anyone who donates, now we're just shipping the bucks to these kids so that no one's left out. So that they're able to look inward while they're locked up.

They're able to dismantle their structure of knowing so they don't go to a prison. Because the system is meant for us to fail. What do you think that trigger was when you were 11 years old, you moved to Boston, never gotten in trouble before in your life, didn't act out? What was it about that time period that affected you? Betrayal. Betrayal is real. It hurts, right?

I don't have a problem with the Jesus. of my life, those who have light. I have a problem with those who act like Judas, right? Those who betray you. And I think my father and I are coming back, that's a form of betrayal. That hurts. At 14, 12, 13. All you can do is internalize and say, well, wait a minute, I'm not wanted.

I'm not old enough to think about it. Listen, he's doing drugs. This has to do with him. This has nothing to do with me. No, not at all. I internalized it to a like, listen, well, wait a minute. He doesn't want me. And that gets you going.

You're making up these stories. The judge, I threw a chair at the judge for crying out loud. Because in my mind, he betrayed me. He said, you have 30 days to do. I did my 30 days. I got out. I had a court day. and he said, you know what?

Another 30 days. Oh, wait a minute. And I was young and I threw a chair at him. And he added more days on top of that. But that chair that I threw, again, somebody from the outside looking in is going to look at that chair that was thrown as, look at this hooligan. Look at this. Look at the way she's behaving as opposed to saying, well, wait a minute, she's going through pain. because I internalized that as betrayal.

You told me 30, so you lied to me. You lie to me the way my father lied to me. My father said that he'll be back and he didn't come back. You told me 30 days, and now you're adding 30 days more. So loyalty for me is important. So again, anybody from the eyes that's like, well, she threw a chair, not realizing that's the reason the right questions are important. it's not what is she going through she through listen I work with these kids and some of the

baddest kids are the coolest amazing kids they just they've gone through things so as that is betrayal they're also the most hurt usually at the typical at the at the family home oh my god 1,000 I couldn't agree with you more those who need more attention are the ones that have the most potential and and they're the ones who are hurting the most i've seen it in i've seen if you go to my page i'm grateful because these detention centers allow me to film it in there and they'll tell you they'll tell you you know what i'm hurt you know um they have PTSD because some kids actually want to get locked up because they're security there they're security they have shelter they have food They get to shower.

So you mean to tell me that's a bad kid? That's a kid trying to find security. I was trying to find someone I can trust. A male figure. You get what I'm saying? So I believe that this is where trauma starts. It begins. This is it right here.

And again, this be the village campaign for the mini youth mission. It's important because if you think back, even your audience, if they think back to who has failed you in your past when you were young as a teenager, your village. Your village is everything. So after that betrayal, what happens to you? After the betrayal? Yeah.

Well, now, now I look at betrayal differently. I look at betrayal as part of God's plan, right? It's redirection. But it's crazy because I think. I'm not saying I've been the most betrayed, but I've been betrayed a lot. You know, but I think it also gave me a muscle, a tolerance muscle, right? That people are human. And it has nothing to do with me, Ian.

That has nothing to do with me. People are going to betray you. You know what I'm saying? Like I told you before, I don't have a problem with people who move like Jesus, who carry that. Like, I have a problem with people who are like Judah. that don't necessarily carry that light, right? And for me now, I navigated differently to where I asked myself,

the same thing I ask these kids, man, who hurt you? Because if you're moving like that to the world and you're hurting people, hurt people, hurt people. I'm not trying to sound like a quote. I'm not trying to sound like a Facebook post, but it's the truth. Her people, hurt people.

If you move like that, That means somebody hurt you. So I got to have more compassion with you. That's your mindset now, but what happened to you back then? Back then, there's the drugs, is the coke, is the weed, is to cutting the ankle brace it off. Were drugs the first thing you were introduced to? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. First it was weed. Then it was ecstasy. Then it was acid. Then it was coke. And that was my favorite choice of drug. It was coke. But I really believe is because that's my father.

That was my father's choice. And I remember the first time I did Coke, I asked myself, I remember saying, looking at it and saying, man, if my father left me for this Coke, if my father left me for drugs, drugs got to be better than love. A kid shouldn't think like that at 15. For a while, I thought that Coke was better than love because my father left me for drugs. and that's not healthy for a kid to think like that. Who introduced you to drugs the first time? Friends. The village, right?

The village. And how old are you when this happened? I want to say I was 14, 14 and a half. 14 and a half? Again, I didn't wake up when morning and said, you know what? I wouldn't wake. I wonder what weed is. I wonder, no, it came to me.

Existee came to me. All the drugs that have ever done came to me. Follow my lap. Going online without ExpressVPN is like not closing the bathroom door. Even if you think you have nothing to hide, why would you just leave everything out there for strangers to see? There are creeps, companies, and trackers watching what you do online, even when you don't realize it. Here's the part most people don't know, because all your internet traffic flows through your provider, your internet service provider can literally see every single website you visit. visit, and in the U.S., they're legally allowed to sell that data to advertisers. They make money

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What interested you the most about them? So remember, I'm moving from New York to Boston. Again, a little town called Hey, so now, now at 14, you want to fit it? you know so I want to say I also wanted to fit in fit in was more important to me than staying out for sure for sure I could say that you know um people pleasers nowadays they don't just become a people pleaser you don't just when they say okay I'm going to go ahead and please people no you become a people pleaser because you were first a parent pleaser you were trying to please your

parents you were trying to please your parents and then you grow out of that right and then you It transmits into being a people pleaser. So I just wanted to fit in at 14. And it spiraled from there. How did the drugs lead you to getting into legal trouble? Just choices, right? Because if I have a curfew, at 15, 16, I have a curfew. You've got to be in by 7 o'clock.

I didn't care about that. I looked at my probation officer, like, what are you talking about? I'm not doing that. Then I got put on an ankle monitor, and I cut the ankle monitor off on July 4th because I wanted to hang out because, again, fitting in was more important than my freedom. And I cut my ankle bracelet off, and then I just hung out. And then I heard a knock that Monday morning, and it was my probation officer with two cops, came and picked me up and locked me up. And I was like that. I said, the judge just said no more.

How old were you at the time in that happened? I was 16. I was 16. So you're on the ankle monitor for how long? Two weeks. I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it. And I talk about that in my book. Again, it's not a book. It's a curriculum. It's a workbook. It's going to ask questions. And I'm so happy that I put that chapter there because a lot of kids, they'll write me and they'll say, you know what? Hearing your story about cutting your ankle brace that has made me think twice about cutting mine. That's huge. That's huge. You know the letters that I get in the mail from these kids that are locked up? I'm able to get released. However, they want to put me on an ankle monitor on the ankle bracelet.

And I was thinking about cutting it, but I read your story on chapter three. You know what? I'm not going to cut it. I'm going to do what I got to do. Why do you didn't have respect for authority at that age? Was it because your dad wasn't in the picture? That's a great question. I would have to say, I would have to say yes

because my, you know, it's a father figure. You know, there's an authoritative voice, your father, you know, and he's not in the picture, you know. Why should I listen to anybody? You know, I think it was also, I also think it had to do with just cops. I didn't want to be told what to do.

You know what I mean? So being locked up your entire teenage years, it changes your perspective. It's not like when you get locked up as an adult, you know, you know that there's consequences for the things you do. You know, but when you're locked up as an adult, excuse me, as a teenager, you see things as people telling you what to do. You don't see things like, oh, they're doing it for my own good. No, it's not like that. Because you can't tell me what to do is an attitude. You're dealing with hormones.

You're dealing with this. You know what I'm saying? You're a kid. for crying out loud. Our brains from developed to we're 26 years old. So at 1516, you have somebody other than your parents, other than your mom, other than your father, telling you what to do. It's not going to go right.

That's the reason you got to speak to these kids with compassion. These kids got love and respect for me because of the way I speak to them. I see them. I understand them. I can relate to them. But a lot of these people, a lot of these staff, a lot of these CEOs, the way these speak, to these kids, it's not okay. And then they're going to grow up to not have that respect for authority.

Right? I thank God I've changed. I'm able to look at a cop and be eating at a place at a same place that a cop is eating and pay for his meal because I'm grateful that he's serving our country, right? But back in the days, I wasn't able to do that. And I've also been blessed that the CEOs and the people, and the people that were, the staff that were in these detention centers, they showed me love.

I gave him a heartache. I gave him a headache. I gave them, you know, I was that kid. I had no problem. I ripped a phone out of the wall because they told me that my time was up, that I wasn't able to speak to my mom any further. Right? So I was mad.

But remember, like I told you before, those who act up the most are the ones hurting the most. So the cops show up at your door. They take you away. You go, where do you go from there, right to juvenile detention? Or did they keep you in holding until you see a judge? No, that's it. So straight to the, listen, these people, these staff, they welcomed me like if they knew I would fail, Ian.

I remember they told me, hey, your room is ready. It was like they bet that I knew. It was like a bet that I would fail. It was in a holding cell. and we went to the detention center because the detention centers back in the days, the way it was, it was a facility.

And you're there until you get sentenced. But it was not a whole, no, no, no, it was real. Then you would go into placement after that. So how long are you there for before you get sentenced? It could be three months. It could be, I've met girls there a year. How long did you wait?

I waited not long, not long because I remember going, having my court there. I want to say only weeks later. And that's when the judge said, you know what, you're done. You're staying until you're 18. And then I got into another placement, into another juvenile detention center that were, that held me until I was 18. So like about a year and a half. Do you think the sentence was a bit harsh for your situation? No.

Absolutely not. Ian, I really believe that everything I have gone through is for this right here. It's for that book right there. It's for the Million Youth Mission. I really believe that everything I have gone through is my purpose. It's my calling. So I really believe that it was part of God's plan for me. You know, do I think it was harsh?

No. At the time. I didn't learn. I didn't learn. Ian, I called my mom and I said, I told my mom. I said, you know what? You want to know what would have helped me is you not building me out that first time or the second time.

I said that to my mom. Mom, you're an amazing mom. I love you. But I think I would have learned and you would have let me in there. Allow me to learn. Allow me to fall. Right? But again, when you rescue your child, that means they're not going to learn.

They're not going to learn. So yeah, no I'm glad. I'm glad. I wouldn't change anything. What was the second time she bailed you out for? It was all drugs. It was all drugs up until the end.

So the first time you got in trouble for drugs? Yep, yep. It was drugs, skipping school. It was just petty stuff like that. It was all petty stuff. And that's bananas to me because now I go to these detention centers and there are kids with autism

who are locked up. There are kids with autism that are locked up in because they didn't go to school. So when I tell you that it seems like the system is meant to see you fail, that doesn't make any sense to me. Because now you're not giving them resources.

You're not giving them what they need. It doesn't make sense. You're treating them like a criminal. If we're not going to school, a kid with autism, I had a kid telling me, he's like, it's scary in here. Coach me.

She is kind of scary in here. Thank you for coming to see us. And he's also in there with the person who killed their father. So do I think that was harsh? Yes. Do I think mine was harsh? No. At the time, you probably thought it was harsh, though.

No, Ian. You had the same mindset you have right now? Not the first time, but the last time, I said, this is it. This is it. I have a kid that I'm coaching right now. have a contract in VA and he said something and I understood his voice. I understood his heart because he said, coach, you know what? I think that I'm in here because of karma because of everything that I have done and I'm glad I'm in here. The kid's 16 years old. You know, I think it's,

I think that's some of the kids that I coached and they come to me and tell me that. They've come to me. You look at my pace. Some of the things that they say is, you know what? I'm glad I'm locked up. I'm in here because of karma. You know what? God, everything happens for a reason. I think that God has me here because he wanted me to get out of this gang. You know, I'm here. I think I'm here because God wants me here. You know what? I deserve to be here. That's the conversation. And I get that. Because that last time, it did something in my soul. So I'm like, you know what? This is where I'm supposed to be. I'm not learning. Right? There's a difference between being smart and having wisdom.

There's people who are smart but don't have wisdom, right? And I think at that age, again, I say this humbly, I'm smart, but there's a divine intelligence that comes. They're like, well, wait a minute. There's something's got a shift here. You know, so yeah, no. I got that. At 16, I understood that. How did your mom react to you being sentenced to spend two years of your life in, you know, essentially a prison for children? Crying. Crying. crying, devastated. Remember, that's the reason she bailed me out. She didn't want to see her daughter locked up.

Crying. This lady, she couldn't, this lady, yeah. I felt bad. Were you afraid? Yeah. I was afraid. I was afraid of a lot of things. I was afraid that I was going to be able to change my life around.

I was afraid to feel my mom. Yeah, my mom. At the end of the day, yeah, my first. father did that, but she was like, I'm going to move to give my daughter a better life. And I turned out to be like my father. I became the person she was trying to keep me away from. So that's devastating. It's my mother.

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With all nine essential amino acids to help build muscle, give you energy, and keep you satisfied. satisfied longer. So keep it real. Look for the seal. Real California milk. I got to do something. Tell us what juvenile detention was like for you.

It was lonely. Solitude. Now that I'm older, solitude became a strength. But it's solitude is not, it's some of these detention centers now. It's like, it's not summer camp, I'll tell you that much. You know, because you're in a room by yourself. So you're alone with your thoughts.

You know, sometimes there were lockdowns and you would be locked down. That's it. You know, you would come out eat, come out shower, you know, a little wreck. But I spent a lot of time in solitude because I was also misbehaving. I was getting restraint a couple times a week. What do you mean by restraint? What would they do? They would restrain me.

They would, they would, you couldn't tell me no. I'm throwing a tray. I'm doing something to, to, I would get in fights all the time to where they would restrain me and bring me to my room, you know, physical restraint, bring me to my room. Now I'm there for 48 hours. They restrain you to the bed? Yeah, they would restrain me to, well, no, so physical restraint is they would, about two staff members, they would restrain you to where you can't move, right?

No hands, they got your feet, they got your hands, and they carry my little ass to the room, and now you're there. Are you free to walk around the room? Yeah, I guess in the room, yeah, yeah. And why would lockdowns happen? If somebody snuck in drugs, if someone snuck in, if someone snuck in, And if there was a fight, you know, just misbehaving, petty stuff, you know. I think it's worse now than it was back in the days, though.

Why is that? Because I go to these detention centers and the lockdown, I've seen 23-hour lockdowns. And that's a long time for a kid to just be locked down for that amount of time. You know, the lockdown here wasn't, you know, you would still come out. out, right? Not here. They'll put you in a pod all by yourself. In a pod all by yourself, one kid.

You know, seeing nobody. I think it's definitely worse now. I think it's definitely worse now. What was one kid's case that you encountered there that, you know, you still remember to this day? There's this kid, and I never asked their cases because I don't ever want them to feel like ashamed, right? As a coach, as a youth coach, I want to make sure that they know that I am there to help them look at their future.

I'm not a therapist. A therapist normally looks at your past, right? A coach looks at your future. So I never asked, but he decided to tell me that he killed his father. And I was like, oh, man. So the first thing I asked them was, so you want, you know. You know, you were on drugs. That's what I thought.

I'm like, so you're on drugs, right? You said, no, ma'am. You said, I don't even, I've never even done drugs. He was going to kill my mom, so I killed him first. Wait, what? No, I was lucid when I did it. I know exactly what I did. That did something to my soul.

That did something in my soul, because his mom was about to be killed. so he killed his father and now he's serving time for it. Then another case that really hurt my heart was a 12-year-old he didn't know who to call because his mom was locked up across the street in the adult prison across the street. So who do you call when you're 12 years old

and you're locked up in a detention center and your moms across the street at an adult prison? who do you call? So those stories real and it hurts because I'm like, I hear stories all the time also. I need a place to stay. I needed food. I need a shelter.

You know, so all these stories vary, but it's like they're kids, they're kids. Coming from a good family like you did, aside from your parents splitting, did it ever make you wonder how some of these individuals kids your age were capable of doing such violent acts. Again, compassion.

Because if I felt in the trap of the school to prison pipeline, just imagine them. And their environment was way worse, 100 times worse. Never went without a meal. Bill's, you know what I'm saying? Like, again, I come from a good family. So if I wasn't able to escape the school or prison pipeline, man, listen, the stats.

And I came from a fatherless home. So now think about it. There's people who got it worse. Worse. And I don't blame. Not that I don't blame them, but there's compassion there. There's compassion there, Ian, because it's like, man, listen, again, this is the reason I decided to create this mini- youth mission. Because they just need guidance, man.

They just need guidance. Some of them have inherited pain. I had one kid telling me, um, coach, this is all I know. My daddy was locked up. My uncles were locked up.

Of course I'm going to get locked up. Like, like nothing. Like, of course, two plus two is four. Yeah, of course,

two plus two is four. Like that. Out of the kids that you encountered, while you were in juvenile detention, what do you think a common theme was amongst those kids? Father, their father wasn't around.

Their father wasn't around and they were just being rebellious. You know, some of them are in gangs and they're like, I don't want to be in a gang, but I just want to feel loved. Wait, what? I don't want to be in a gang. I don't want to do this. My father's not around. That's how the fathers, a lot of them, most of them, 90, 98% of them all come from fatherless homes. all comes from fatherless homes.

Do they mix women and men together? There's different pods. So there's a pod for girls and a pod for boys. That's it. Excuse me. They're not able to see each other. What were the girls there for? Was it violent stuff or was it more just...

It's different with girls. Believe it or not, it's actually really different with girls. With girls, it's fights. It's just constant fights. but there's anger there again. But the one thing they had in common, their father wasn't around. Who do you think is affected by the father

not being in the picture more a girl or a boy? That's a great question. I'm going to have to say, ooh, that's a great question, Ian. Let me tell you why. Because with the boys, I hear it all the time, I don't want to be, you know,

I don't want to be like my father, you know what I'm saying? They cover it up differently. they just cover it up differently, but you could hear the pain. Oh, my father's not in the picture. You know, I think it's so normal for them that their father's not around that. It's just like, you know what? They cover it differently, but I think the girls, I think it affects them more.

Let me tell you why, because then they get with these guys, because they have daddy issues, and they're looking for love in all the wrong places. now they're dating someone not based on love but based on a need right that need of of wanting a man and this and that to to feel secure so i think that the guy the boys just cover it differently but i think it affects girls differently because you could see it and again you could see it and their choices. The guys they date, you know, the toxicity of it. Yeah, yeah, for sure.

Were the guards physically violent to you guys as kids? No. I can't say that they were, well, me, I never experienced violence. No, it was actually the opposite for me. I actually experienced favor. You know, I had C.O. The guards give me kick cat at night. Like, like, here you going and, like, slide a kicket. That was your favorite candy? Yeah. You know, so that, you know, so I kind of, I experienced more favor, right? Because I was that troubled kid. And I respect those people because they saw something in me that I didn't see myself. You know, there was, there was respect there. Like, you know, matter of fact, me and one of my old teachers that was, um, She was my math teacher when I was in Juvie.

We're cool to this day. And even my probation officer, she actually buys books and helps kids now through the book. Do you think that there was enough programs, classes for individuals at that time? Absolutely not. And that's the reason I say that they failed me. Because if you see me a second time, a third time, how come you not? asking me the right questions. How come there's not a program that is asking me why are you here? What's going on? I had a therapist call me and a psychologist called me when I first launched the book and

they said, how did you create this book? What college did you go to? I said, I didn't go to college. Instead, I got expelled from school when I was in ninth grade. I said, I created what I needed. I asked questions that no one else asks. I'm asking these questions. I'm asking these questions. How many times have you been locked up? Why have you been locked up? Who do you need to forgive? I'm asking these questions in this workbook, and they were blown. And that's the reason we're in 28 states now because they're like, oh, this is a program that Alaska went Alaska, and they used no other program but Cell Dreamer.

So when I tell you, I really believe that everything happens for a reason. I really believe that it was for this reason here, right? But no, they failed me. Did your mom come to visit you? Oh, my God. Absolutely. Whether I was a mile away, three miles away, 25 miles away, or a state away. She did not miss visitation. Nope. Nope. Every Saturday she was there. Every Saturday. That gave me more of a want to want to change. Again, loyalty is important to me. That runs in my veins. So for me, it's like, well, wait a minute.

I got to repay this lady back. I got to become somebody for this lady. All these artists, again, there's, like Alan Iverson, the fact that he was locked up at such an early age, Snoop, they were all locked, you know, Mark Wahlberg, and they made something of themselves. That's huge. And I say their stories because these kids,

they got to know, like, listen, when you chip away all the unhealthy things, and you chip away the friends, and you chip away the drugs and you chip away all these things that no longer serve you, what stays? For Allen, it was basketball. He's a beast. Look who Mark Wahlberg is nowadays.

Right? I became an author. Once I started chipping away, things that no longer served me. And so I asked him, chip away. Chip away and what's left? Because when you start chipping away, that's your purpose right there. And you're going to figure it out. What experience in juvenile detention do you think impacted you the most for the rest of your life?

I think it wasn't so much the detention experience. I think it was when that judge said, you know what, you got to stay in here to your 18. That impacted me the most because I had no control. I had no control. I had someone deciding for me what, I had somebody deciding my life now. Like, what do you mean I'm staying here for a year and a half? I think that year and a half was real for me. And I came up with a game plan.

Well, I was locked up. I came out with a game plan at 16 and a half. So that's the reason I created this. So they could come up with a game plan while they're incarcerated. It was that. It was that. That really did something in my soul. Between me not having to do more time and then two, feeling like,

you betrayed me? You know what I'm saying? Like, nah, I got to do something because the math ain't math and this ain't it. What was that game plan for you? The game plan for me was to get released. I didn't want to go back to school because I don't believe that school teaches kids' life skills that are needed nowadays. You get what I'm saying? So I went to a trade school.

So I was the one who designed that entire book because I went to JobCorps. So my game plan was going to Job Corps and creating something better. It was just creating something better. It was such a simple plan at the time. But look where I am now, right? Like it was a simple plan. Like, how can I do better? Let me start by getting away from my town.

I need it out. I needed out from that little town. And I ended up going from from Hayrow to Springfield, Massachusetts. And that's where there was a job core there, and I stayed there for a few years. Tell us about that transition from Job Corps to where you're at now, what that evolution was like.

So once I left Job Corps, I ended up going back to my mom's house. And that transition was hard. And the reason it was hard, Ian, it was because, again, I went back to my environment. And your old friends were doing the same thing. The same people that introduced me to drugs, they were doing heroin now. They, now they're bugging. And I was like, just saying it.

Then my cousin got stabbed. And I remember crying and walking around the block and saying, I need a game plan. And I said, I'm going to move. I'm going to recreate myself. I'm out. And I gave myself six months. And I went to Walmart. Once I left Job Corps, I also got a job as a graphic designer.

And every check, I ended up just saving it. I went to Walmart, and I saved every check. And I told my mom, I said, mom, nothing personal, but I got to go. I got to be out. You know, seeing my cousin get stabbed, yeah, he made and he's paralyzed now. But seeing him get stabbed, that did something to my soul because I was like, oh, God. You know, I saw my family, you know, it was bad. It was bad.

So I said, you know, what I'm going to do is I got to go. So six months go by I remember my friend at the time I said you know what? I'm moving. She was like, I'll go Let's move.

Let's be roommates. I said, okay. And I rented a U-Haul. I got my, I traveled with a safe and I just drove to Florida. And I remember stopping at Southwest 8th Street.

My favorite number is 8. And I remember stopping at Southwest 8th Street and going to this building complex and said, hey, can we rent a place here? And they were like, it doesn't work like that. You need credit. You need a background check. You know, like. And I think she saw the desperation in my face.

And she said, you know what? We don't take cash. I at least need a money order. And you can stay here. and then the rest of history. And I've been in Florida ever since. So tell us more in detail about this program that you created and what it does. So it's an eight-week curriculum and it's all on self, right?

So if you look at the chapters, it's self-esteem, self-motivation, self-discipline, self-discovery. It's all on self. And what it does is it goes through in chronological order on steps, like for instance on that first chapter, your self-awareness is knowing who you are. It's all on life skills. How many times have you been locked up, right? And the reason that it has been successful is because these kids are saying it's one thing for me to see that my parents are saying that I'm doing something wrong or the judge

or the probation, my probation officer saying that I'm doing something wrong. But it's something else, coach, that happens when I'm looking at it. it with my own handwriting, then I'm seeing that it's me, that I'm the one who have been making these decisions. So then they go through that process. It's just a lot of reflection on even situations on how, same situation, but what can you have done differently? Because remember, we're still dealing with kids, right? So in the same situation, what could you have done differently? And they're writing down. This is what I could have done different. And then it also has a release action plan so that when they do get released, there's a plan there.

It's like their own blueprint. So they're writing more than they're reading. So my story reads in and out of it. And right before I get to the good part, I'll go ahead and have them write. I'll tell my story. But hey, now you've got to do this exercise on you've got to know what triggers you, right? Most adults know their love language. However, they don't know what triggers them.

and it doesn't make sense. You've got to know all these things, right? So with these kids, they've got to know what triggers them. You've got to know because guess what? You're going to leave here and you're going to get triggered out there. So I like to tell them, don't look at this as punishment. Look at this as preparation. Look at the cell as a preparation stage so that when you do get released,

you have an up on those who are still in the streets. So that's the way they navigated. They navigated in a way that they're like, okay, well, this is in punishment, even though they're taking responsibility for what they've done, right? Okay, so I got to take responsibility. But at the same time, okay, what can I do? What can I do to have a mental mind shift so that when I do get released, I don't go back to the same old behavior.

I've had kids tell me I was just bored. I was bored. so I still, I still, I robbed the grocery store. Wait, what? What can you do differently? You know, so it's having them look inward. How effective do you find this program? Thank God so far has been super effective.

Super effective. We do pre-imposed surveys and we see them have a complete shift in how they move, even their parents, right? because that's the reason we created the parent version because we create it's the parent version is cell dreamer but for the parents right it's called ignite the dream and i created it with um dr c she's amazing and she's got her PhD in education and she comes from the parent perspective and i still come from the child perspective so that they know how to navigate these kids who are at risk because let's call it for what it is they're at risk kids and um it's effective it's even more effective when the parent gets involved. It's more effective when the parent says, okay, well, wait a minute, I see a change. I also want to change because a lot of these kids,

it's learned behavior. It's learned behavior. It comes from their parents, you know. And we can't go ahead and serve the youth without serving the parents. I think there's got to be a healthy congruence between the two. And that's when it's really most effective.

When the parents get on board, when they dismantle that structure of knowing, when they really break that family. I don't want to say family curse because I don't think it's a curse, but I will say it. Too Good and Co coffee creamers are made with farm fresh cream, real milk, and contain three grams of sugar per serving.

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The app lets you filter hotels by neighborhood, vibe, star level, and amenities like pools and spas and beach fronts. Wait, I'm not done. Stop cutting me up. Price line is when they break these family unhealthy patterns. Now, there's a lot of people that I talk to that come on the show specifically that get out of prison and, you know, they talk about the first thing they want to do is get back into prisons to speak, especially the youth or, you know, be an inspiration to people that have been in their shoes. And they kind of don't necessarily know how to put that plan together.

But it seems like you've had success in that. So what kind of advice would you give to them? I would have to say is why. I think they have to look inward why. I think it has to be more than just giving back, right? And just saying a story. Like you've got to leave them with something tangible. Again, the reason I've become successful is because I created something tangible. Create something that even if you leave, your word stay. You've got to do something. I think people want to see not only the change.

People want to experience the change, right? People don't see me changing. They're experiencing me helping these kids change. And I think that's what's important for them. And I would love for them to reach out because I am looking for. for eventually coaches to go into these facilities. There's only one of me because it is a curriculum and it's to coach the curriculum. If I could find some great, amazing people to go ahead and coach this curriculum and help these youth,

you know, because it's already created. Why we create anything, right? And it's team up with people who are already doing great work, you know. And again, I created this not to give back. I created what I needed. I was failed. So I just created what I needed. And that's the reason I believe this became successful.

Because it was more, but I think that sometimes giving back can come from a place of ego. Right. Well, you know what? No, but I think it's coming. I think sometimes it comes from a, it needs to come from a place of desire to see someone's life really transform. Right? It's not giving back and then laying back. No, no, no.

It's saying, you know what? It's being that village. Right? It's saying, you know what? No, I'm going to do this because I've seen it. I've seen people get out of the system and want to give back. But sometimes giving back is not enough, right? You've got to offer them something.

Because people don't care how much you know. They care about how much you care. They don't care about how much I know. These kids don't care about how much I know. However, they care about how much I care. They see the quality of that book. They see that it's matte black. They see that I added spot UV on the handcuffs.

They see that I show up. They see that I created a curriculum. I gave myself a curfew to create that. It took me four years to create that book. Four years. But it was because I said, you know what? I'm going to create something that is tangible, that they're, you know, you could see the quality of it. But I wanted them to feel that.

Like, man, she took time, just took thought. I don't want to just be in the system. Again, I want you to call me when you get out. I want to be that village. And that's the reason that whenever these kids get out, my DM blows up. Hey, coach, can you mentor me now? Hey, coach, I'm looking for a job. Hey, coach.

And I say this respectfully, but I've been a coach before it was cool to become a coach. I coach myself at 17 years old and how to be here, right? And I think that is saying, you know what? I want to be there. I want to be the village. How can I be the village? Because most people will say it takes the village.

No, no, no. I am the village. What advice would you give to a parent that has a kid, a teenager, or even younger than that, that's starting to get in a little bit of trouble or act out? I would say reach out to us. I would say reach out to us.

Send us in a DM because we do donate the parent version and it's liquid within. Right? Because at this point, sometimes it's not about the child. It's about you. How have you been showing up? I've had kids tell me, you know what? I hate when my mom yells. My mom can't speak to me.

She yells at me. But then he rebels and then he's the problem. It doesn't work like that. You've got to look inward. So I think reach out to us. Again, that's the reason donations are important for the Mene Youth Mission because that's what gives us the opportunity to go ahead and donate the parent book. Donate these books to kids who are locked up,

to kids who aren't locked up. up. The student version, because I have two versions, I have the juvenile version, I have the student version. The student version is in high schools, and they use it as a curriculum, as a course. It's called the Freedom Starts Here course, right? So, and in order to graduate, they get credit for it. Again, I didn't know I was creating that. So just to answer your question, I think the parents got to look inward. But with compassion, right? Look at your yourself with compassion. It doesn't mean you failed, but it does mean that you got to tweak some things in order

to have that connection. I had, there was, it was a back-to-school event that I was invited to and I was giving away the student version. I was donating them. And I remember a parent saying to her daughter that was right beside her and said, oh she needs this book you need to get this book and the daughter kind of looked at her with an attitude like I don't need that so I said excuse me minute I said mom come over here I said listen won't you have a better approach you see the parent version right here why don't you tell hey listen

I'm going to get the parent version you're going to get the student version and let's do this together and try that approach I pulled the aside and I spoke to her about it briefly it was like a 15 second conversation. I just said, listen, try this approach. And you know what she said? She told the lady, she told the daughter, she said, listen, I'm going to get the parent version. She said everything I told her to say.

I'm going to get the parent version. I'm going to get you the student version. And let's do it together. The daughter's demeanor changed. And she said, okay, ma. She said, okay, ma. It's the approach. It's not how you say.

It's not what you say. It's how you say it. there it is. Sometimes it's the parents. And I got love for my parents. I got love for my parents. Okay, but not for nothing. My mom rescued me.

Loves me so much that she rescued me. That didn't help me. And that little approach, the way she switched. The daughter said, okay. But 30 seconds prior, she was like, I ain't doing that. I don't need that. Because she put her out there. Oh, you need this.

Come on, man. It takes a village. Right? That's what you guys have been saying. It takes the village. No, no, no, no. Be the village. Come on.

Show her something different. It's trauma upon trauma upon trauma. The way they move done autopilot. Because their mom spoke to them like that. And they're grandma. These kids need a different type of love. They're pretty smart. I love that.

Thank you, brother. Well, Michie, thanks so much for coming on the show today. Thank you so much, Ian. I appreciate you. Yeah, I appreciate you. And congrats on everything you're doing. Same to you. I love what you're doing.

And we'll have the link to all your stuff in the description this episode. All right. Thank you, brother. Enjoy your trip back to the warmth and leave us cold people here. I'm out of here.