Locked In with Ian Bick - I’m a Tango Blast Gang Member — This Is How I Survived Texas Prisons | Houstone Smooth

Episode Date: January 9, 2025

Houstone Smooth shares his story of being recruited into the Tango Blast prison gang and the realities of life behind bars. From navigating gang dynamics to finding a way out, Houston provides a look at the challenges and consequences of prison life. This conversation dives into his journey, the lessons he’s learned, and his path toward redemption. #TangoBlast #PrisonLife #GangReform #InsidePrison #GangRecruitment #ExGangMember #PrisonStories #LifeBehindBars Connect with Houstone Smooth: IG: https://www.instagram.com/houstonesmooth/profilecard/?igsh=MTh2ajUwOWZmcnBoMg== YouTube: https://youtube.com/@houstonesmooth?si=61lpGkG96mgx8STt Apple Music: https://music.apple.com/us/artist/houstone-smooth/1522220234 Spotify Music: https://open.spotify.com/wrapped/share/share-d744a216cac14a0891c8581c223dcc3d?si=Rwog9dDKQFSz1Eyig0BcrA&artist-id=1KQeISUArw8M855NwjMReQ Thank you to our sponsors this week: Rocket Money: Visit https://rocketmoney.com/lockedin to cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Orgain: For 30% off your order, head to https://Orgain.com/IANBICK and use code IANBICK.   Hosted, Executive Produced & Edited By Ian Bick: https://www.instagram.com/ian_bick/?hl=en https://ianbick.com/ Presented by Tyson 2.0 & Wooooo Energy: https://tyson20.com/ https://woooooenergy.com/ Buy Merch: https://www.ianbick.com/shop Use code lockedin at checkout to get 20% off your order Timestamps: 00:00:00 Welcome and Shoutouts 00:03:42 Understanding Parental Relationships and Forgiveness 00:07:13 Overcoming Challenges: Life with ADHD and Juvenile Experiences 00:11:16 Developing Loyalty and Independence at a Young Age 00:15:06 The Start of Juvenile Troubles 00:19:00 Life Lessons from Juvenile Detention and Prison Experiences 00:22:34 The Impact of Mixing Teens with Older Inmates 00:26:11 Joining a Gang for Survival in Jail 00:30:55 Discovering Rocket Money: Manage Your Subscriptions 00:33:49 Inmate Dynamics and Racial Rules in Prison 00:37:19 Prison Hierarchy and Survival Dynamics 00:40:51 The Reality of Snitching in Prison 00:44:35 The Structure of Mexican Gangs in Texas 00:48:21 Gang Dynamics and Recruitment 00:52:00 Cycle of Incarceration and Crime 00:55:33 Embracing True Identity and Personal Growth 00:59:25 Closing Remarks and Gratitude Powered by: Just Media House : https://www.justmediahouse.com/ Creative direction, design, assets, support by FWRD: https://www.fwrd.co Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Jeep has won more awards over its lifetime than any other SUV branch. Even the Jeep Grill or registered trademarks of XCAUS LLC. Hugh Stone Smooth. Welcome to Locked in. Shout out to Marcy. Shout out to Marcy for locking us in, man. Yeah, she was one of the originals on the show last year, and we've been talking about this since, I think, early last year when I first started.

Definitely. And I'm glad it worked out. I'm in your neck in the woods. Heck, yeah. I know Austin, Texas, man, drove out here last night and fucking traffic's gay, bro. God, it's bad here, bro. The traffic sucks, but it's pretty. It's pretty here.

I like it. Yeah, we drove to Dallas for the fight the other night for Tyson. And it was like almost four hours. there from here. We got there at the perfect time was for the two girls fights. Serrano. Yeah, Serrano and Katie. That was a brawl. That was good. That was good. And then we drove back. No traffic up until like we hit like the Austin line and then it was like an hour traffic. So a two and a half hour trip on the way back turned into like three and a half hours. They're doing all that construction and stuff too. So you can tell like that's really what the you

know what I mean is the hold up. Once all that gets fixed, it should be good. Yeah, it was rough. Did you grow up in Texas? Yeah. Heck yeah. In Houston, too. Corpus Christi and Houston. Okay. And really, penitentiary, jail. You know what I mean? I've been in it out since I was 10 years old, so back and forth everywhere.

I even lived in the Valley, just everywhere. But Texas, I've never been outside of Texas. Who'd you grow up with? My dad. Just your dad? Just my dad. Any siblings? I had a sister, a half sister, but she stayed with my mom.

I stayed with my dad. And, but me and her, that's my nigga. She's watching my kids right now. You know what I mean? She's got all my kids. right now watching them and stuff. So good people. But yeah, I grew up with my dad by myself.

How many kids do you have? I have five kids. Five kids. Five kids. You know what? We take care of them together. that's really what changed everything, man, the kids, bro. Like, whenever I got out, I was still out there, man.

I didn't get a damn. I was still doing the same thing I did back when I was growing up. Ain't nothing changed, you know what I mean? And then when I found out my wife got pregnant, bro, I don't even know. It's so cliche, you know what I mean? Where someone would be like, oh, my kids changed me and da-da-da-da. But I didn't even notice how it happened. Like day after day something just like started taking away from me that evil that used to live at me.

You know what I mean? Just started taking it out of me. And my kids really helped me ground myself. And I just started, after the first one, I was like, damn, maybe I should just keep having more kids. You know what I mean? Maybe at the end of this tunnel will be good, you know what I mean? And now I'm a father, independent artist. I got everything like just so much positive stuff going for me, you know what I mean?

Since I started doing positive things and stop being in the street, stop talking to the people I used to talk to. That was really the main thing cutting them lines, cutting them lines off with these people. And once I started being me and was able to be a father and be myself, man, as everything's fucking going good, bro. Yeah. What did your dad do for work? Man, my dad was a lot of things. My dad was in the military.

He went into the Air Force. He got honorably discharged. And when he got out, he just worked his whole fucking security. He was a personal trainer. He was fucking UPS. He was. He just worked nonstop. You know what I mean?

There was times he had three jobs. You know what I mean? He just nonstop working. And he passed away when he was 58 in 2017. And that shit sucked. That shit sucked. But he was a good dude, man. He really was.

He was a good man. He was a party animal. You know what I mean? He was rock and roll party animal. But he was a real good dude with real good values. He was Buddhist. He was born in Japan. You know what I mean?

Brought here to America. when he was like five years old. He had a lot of Japanese customs and culture. And he was a really good fucking dude. Did you have any relationship with your mom as a kid? Man, it was just so bad. So bad. You know what I mean?

She's with my sister too, though, watching my kids right now. So shit didn't change. You know what I mean? As she got older, as I got older, all the things that I used to be bitter about and used to hold against her. It's like, I'm an adult now. And I'm like, I'm dealing with these same things. It's like, I can see why those things happen or why you did that or you know what I mean?

Why, you know what I mean? You chose some of the way you, the decisions you made, you're growing up just like I'm growing up now. You know what I mean? And I think a lot of times whenever we're growing up, we're seeing our parents and we're like, y'all are just fuck up. So why are you doing this? Or you might like piece of shit parent, you know what I mean? But as you grow up and you start being a parent, it's like, fuck, we don't know what we're doing.

You know what I mean? They don't know what they're doing. Shit, we just try to make it. So, no, I began to just understand. my mom's position in life and I don't resent her no more. I'm not angry at her no more. And it's helped me a lot too. And it's helped our relationship. You know what I mean? But when I was a kid, I was like M&M. You know what I mean? I hate you, mom. You know what I mean? All that stuff. And, oh, man, just so bad.

Where do you think that came from? Was that like, did your dad give an example of what she was like? Because you were too young to know. That's what I would think. But like I was, What's funny was that they, as I was growing up, they fought a lot. And so, like, I remember them breaking up a couple times. You know what I mean? I remember my dad leaving one time and I ran outside and I threw the finger at my dad. And I was like, I hate you and he left. You know what I mean?

So, like, there was times I was on my mom's side. But then, you know, me my mom did some stuff that I didn't, I witnessed. You know what I mean? I was a witness too. And I was with my dad when we both witnessed it. And so it was like, it changed something in me. I looked at my mom different. You know what I mean?

And I was like, oh, you're not my mom. It was almost as I was looking at her like, you freaking cheated on me too. You know what I mean? You cheat on my dad. You freaking cheated on me. Like, what the fuck? And I held that against her for so long, bro. You know what I mean?

So long. Like 20 years, 25 years held it against her and didn't talk to her. Would bash her anytime someone said her name or whatever. And it feels good to finally let that go. And it's like, dude, sorry to say, but I've cheated on every girl I've been with. I've fucked over. You know what I mean? I've fucked up people.

I've done bad things. Like, dude, but people forgive me. you know what I mean I'm pretty sure my kids hopefully they'll forgive me some of the bad shit I've done you know what I mean so you got to forgive her yeah um how would people describe you as a kid psychotic I don't know psycho crazy funny out there anything I would anything you wanted to do I would do it but dared me to do it I would do it I wanted to be everybody's friend I wanted to be liked by everybody I just wanted to be out there and I was crazy and then my dad worked three four jes

jobs all the time. So had no parent at home to watch me to make sure I did this at this time or be in bed. I was a loose cannon from 10 to 14 is when I went to TYC. But yeah, from 10 to 14, I was out of there. Do you think if someone asked you that question at that time, you would have answered that that way? Yeah. So you would have still called yourself psychotic back then? Yeah. And you were that, you know, self-aware to know that you were? Oh, yeah. jail fucked me up. When I was 10 years old, they gave me an IQ test. They took me and all.

They were like, dude, this guy is something wrong with this guy, but there's something different about this guy. Had 128 IQ. When they told me I was borderline genius, I was like, I fucking knew it. Y'all dumb motherfuckers. All y'all dudes were dumb. You know what I mean?

And I started, I just, I swear to God. It's how I survived in prison, bro. I would just be like, you just got to be smarter than everybody. They gave you an IQ test. Yeah. In prison? No, in juvenile. In juvenile?

Yeah. They do that? Yeah. I was, they put me ADHD, bipolar. And so I went through the whole fucking, dude, I was on fucking Adderall when I was 10 years old. Like, I didn't know. I was like, dude, these dudes are popping that shit like meth out here now. You know what I mean?

Like, they were giving me that when I was 10 years old. So I went through psychologists. I went through all the types of shit. I was bad, bro. Stabbed kid with a pair of scissors in school. We would take night of school. fighting, just, I was real bad, bro. And I thought that was cool.

I thought that was how, you know what I mean? Like, people liked me or people would laugh when I do shit or they'd be like, yeah, this guy's tough. You know what I mean? This kid's tough. Had a tattoo when I was 11. You know what I mean? Only one in school with a tattoo.

I was just that little dirty kid you've seen in the streets all the time. You know what I mean? That was up to no good. Hey, it's your host of Lockton. And if you're into fitness and a healthy lifestyle like I am, then you need to hear about this amazing deal that's exclusive. for listeners of Locked in. I just spent over $100 on Oregon's chocolate chip cookie dough and peanut butter protein bars

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Now, let's get back into today's episode. So do you think if your dad was at home more, you'd never would have gotten into trouble and went down that path? Fuck, man, I would hate to try to, you know what I mean, put some type of blame or anything, responsibility. I bet I know he's being a parent. Yeah. Most likely, because when he was home, he was tough.

You know what I mean? He traded me nonstop and karate. He was an alcoholic, too, though, so he beat my ass a lot. But anytime he was home, he was whipping my ass. Or he was in his room getting fucked up or some shit like that. You know what I mean? So I always had the freedom of being out there. I always had the freedom of in and out, in and out.

I never remember my dad coming like, make sure you're home. My dad never told me that shit. You know what I mean? I would just get home, take a shower and fucking go to sleep, wake up the next morning, get ready for school. He taught me how to iron my clothes at a young guy. Gage, taught me how to do all that shit, so I'd be self-sufficient and I used to cook for him. I'd make sure he was fed whenever he came home and shit.

And yeah, so I was, I was really on my own. But if he was there, when he was there, I don't think it would have made a difference. Did you develop like any sort of like dislike for your dad or a hatred towards him at that age? And actually the complete opposite. I developed complete loyalty in, I was like his soldier. like my dad did no wrong my dad could say no wrong like he was the man that was you know what me he took care of me telling me everything I know like to this day even saying what I said about him like being like even saying those things I felt like I was being disloyal and like I wasn't you know what I

mean I wasn't telling the truth somehow like because in his eyes he would have been like no bro I was a good father I did this I taught you this and around you know me disciplined you when you were wrong and da da da da and so it's you know what I mean I it's hard for me to even even talked down on my dad like that, even though I know in the back of my mind, I would never do those things to my kids. It's, I still hold loyalty to that man because I wouldn't even be here. And every time I went to jail, every time I got locked up, every time that motherfucker helped me down. Shot me money. Shot me. Dida-da-da-da. Anything. He'd visit me. Whatever I asked him to do, he would do it. So it was like, he loved me unconditionally too. You know what I mean?

No matter what the fuck I did, he was loyal to me too. So he never shunned to me nothing. And so I'd feel fucked up if I try to do that to him. You know what I mean? Oh, some ass, well, please, come on. So 10 years old, why do you get locked up that first time? I went to pretend like I was cutting some, I was in school. And this, and I, the first major one, I went in, I was in school and I was sitting behind this guy. And he had long hair.

And I had them old school black scissors, the old school industrial scissors. And I went behind him and I grabbed his hair and where you put the fingers in, I made that sound and kind of pulled his hair. I didn't cut it. I just like in his ear. And so he got up and he fucking slapped the shit out of me. Bam! And instinct, my hand just went out. And the blade of the scissors just went straight into his collarbone.

And I, like, it stuck there for a second. Everybody was screaming and I pulled it out. Blood came out. It was just like a movie. You know what I mean? Went straight to juvenile, bro. And I cried there all fucking night. dude no bullshit i was so scared everything you know what i mean 10 years old i heard stories whatever

whatever so i was like fuck man and i didn't know what the fuck was going to happen i didn't get to see my dad until the next morning they brought him in and we had to visit and shit and he was just like he fucked up boy i told you this was going to happen woo you know what i mean you keep fucking up this was going to happen and i was like fuck man super scared went in to the court that next more that day or whatever and they released me on my dad's whatever and they put me on like pre-trial probation until I went to court for the probation and that probation officer met me that day the 10 year old little scared boy and he saw me or whatever I remember his name shout out john mylin bro cock sucker he he seen me that day and he was like damn this you know me like kind of like

saw my presence as a scared little boy you know I mean. And then he was like, okay, next Wednesday you come see me at the office and shit like that. And next that Wednesday, whenever I went in there, he said, he told me years later, he was like, your fucking whole personality changed. He was like, when you came in that next week, you were like an inmate, ex-inmate, you know what I mean? Like you had completely accepted what was going on. And so I didn't know at the time, you know what I mean? But that's what changed everything. I went to juvenile. I survived one day.

You know what I mean? Made you hard. Made me hard. Nothing can break me. And that was, they put me on probation for a year. They gave me probation for a year. You know what I mean? That was my final, my thing when I finally went to court.

And I just kept getting in trouble in school, suspended drugs, get caught with dirty UAs. So they extend my probation another year. Do do, do, do, do, do. Just more shit, more shit, getting caught with night. I was stealing, go back to juvie. They extended it for another year. And then when I was 13, I broke into some house, did a bunch of damage to it, flooded the fucking apartment, like just dumb kid shit.

And like $50,000 in damage, bro. Went to juvenile. They shot my ass to TYC. They're like, yeah, nah, this niggas never going to learn. Went to TYC at 14. Oh, they gave me a five-year sentence. DSO determinant sentence defender. So meaning you have five years to do in TYC as a juvenile.

And if you reach 17, when you reach 17, you still on that five year sentence if you're fucking up. Because at that time, it was like from 10 to 21, you could be in juvenile in TYC and the Texas Youth Commission from 10 to 21. So at 17, if you're fucking up in TYC, they could shoot you to prison in TDC. You know what I mean? But if you're good, you can stay there,

finish your time out with the kids. You know what I mean? So shit, I got locked up when I was 14. I went to TYC and nothing changed. Went there. Was loving it. Got my first fight in Marlin, beat the shit out of this kid. And it was like, everybody's cool. Everybody respects me.

Everybody likes me. This is easy. You know what I mean? I fucking, the only person that I missed was my dad. The only person that I missed was my dad. You know what I mean? And just dealt with it, bro. And it really desensitized me.

It made me hard. It made me easy. It made me just. I got into the motion of being in jail so early that it's fucked up, but it like, that was my life. You know what I mean? It became my life. It was fun.

It was fun. I don't know if anybody else could say that. But when I was in jail, I had fun in there, bro. Yeah, of course, there were times that sucked. You know what I mean? This and that and very depressed and very disgusting and lonely. But man, I had a bunch of, I did a bunch of shit that it's fun. Did you feel like you belong there?

Yeah, I did. Yeah, sometimes I still feel like that. You know what I mean? Sometimes I still feel like that. I have to still battle myself and be like, no, I belong out here. I'm a human. I'm a good people, you know what I mean? Just my thoughts was fucked up.

So were you lonely when you were out on the streets, like as a teenager, like going through school while you were in school? I was popular. I had a bunch of friends because I was crazy. You know what I mean? I had like people liked me and probably scared of me, but still showed me some type of friendship. It's funny because I could hit up all my friends. my old friends up right now. And they don't act like I was their best friend back then.

Like these guys were like best friends to me. You know what I mean? Like, man, I love these guys. But they're like, yeah, you were an asshole, bro. You know what I mean? You were fucking, you were kind of bully, bro. And I could tell about how they treat me. It was like, damn, dude, I'm so sorry.

Like, I really cut it for y'all. I love job niggas. You know what I mean? Like, I'm so sorry. I acted like that way. I just didn't know. I thought that's how I had to be. I had to be the alpha of the group or the leader.

You don't know what I mean? Whatever it was. and kind of fuck me up. So was the last time you were in school at age 14? Yeah. That was the last time you were ever in like a public school setting. Yes, sir. So do you even make it to high school then?

No, sir. I got my GED in jail off obviously, but yeah, no. Middle school, seven grade. That puts life into perspective. Like you've never experienced any type of high school. Like just that, that whole like anything, any type of high school experience. Yeah, dude, that fucks my head up all the time just thinking about it. Like, yeah.

Wow. That definitely puts it in their perspective. Yeah. So you do. 14 to 17 in this facility? 14 to 17 in this facility. When I turned 17, they started my red package, shot me to TDC. And I went to...

And what's TDC for people that don't know? Texas Department of Criminal Justice, prison, state penitentiary. Okay. You know what I mean? And from 17 to goddamn 120, you know what I mean? Whoever's their lifers, everything? Like, it's just state prison. And they mix you in with those individuals.

Fuck, yeah. Yeah. I was 17 years old and shit. One of my first fights, I remember I asked the dude's age after. I was like, how old was that guy? He was like 39 years old, for him to be 40, big old black dude and beat the shit out of me. He beat the fucking shit about me. I was like, how fucking old was that?

That was a grown-ass man, just beat up on me, bro. You know what I mean? Like, hell not. But where I went, they ran something called BMW, black, white, Mexican. You know what I mean? When you get on the union, you got to fight a black dude, you got to fight a white dude. You got to fight Mexican dude. Make sure you ain't color scared.

You know what I mean? So the black dude on the fucking dude on the unit that one that was my size relatively, you know what I mean, was this 39 year old black dude. He was still bigger than me, but and he beat the shit out of me. But all that shit, bro, I remember one time I did a quota check. And for people that don't know what a quote I check, you get on a unit. And when you're part of both my homeboys, you go into the cell and they beat your ass and you got to fight back. And they got to, you know what I mean, test your heart. You know what's up.

You know what I mean? Heart check. So I remember one time I got a heart check done Busting my shit up fucking blood all over the ceiling And I got out went out to the thing And everybody's like all right homeboy smooth do do do And I went to the shower and I'm singing And I'm jacking off in the shower bro

Just to freak every just to be like That's the type of shit I would do You know me first day on the unit Winning that bitch got my cordial check done that day I'm like nah nigga I want to get that shit done today We're gonna run there today They put the two biggest dudes in there yogi and my homeboy

Oh my god Pecky South West Shout out to my nigga Bekaz in Yogi from Deetown But two the biggest dudes In there and beat the shit out of me For like six rounds Six rounds

You know what I mean Afterwards I came out of time I do what you want What you want with my body And I went in there And everybody was like This nigga

But after that Clear sailing Bro You know me getting a little squabble here Getting a squabble here But everything was peaceful bro Like I learned how to beat the system on the inside where like I didn't have to do certain things.

You know what I mean? Or I didn't have to, I didn't get bullied or I didn't get, you know what I mean? I knew that I could, that could happen to anybody in there, bro. It can happen to the hardest motherfucker. You can get broken there. You know what I mean? That don't mean shit. I don't matter if you could fight or not or stab.

You can get fucked off. And so I was always aware of that since I was 10 years old. Like, nah, you got to make sure that you hold your own, you the stiffest. And I think luckily that my dad taught me some sort of hand-to-hand combat. And shit, I went in there and fucking stride, but I ain't going to lie. Any homeboy that's been on the Unum, you can ask him, Hugh Stone's smooth. That's a real nigga right there. He bought that life.

They were calling you that back then, too. They were calling me smooth. Okay. Yeah, when I got out, I put the Hugh Stone to represent for the people. You know what I mean? But yeah, smooth, he bought that life. Now, do you think being 17 and going into a facility like this with older people makes you more violent and dangerous at that time period? Damn.

Like should kids be mixed with these older individuals? I don't think it matters. I don't think it matters because if you're mixed with a bunch of other 17-year-olds, it's going to be just as bad. It'll probably be worse. You know what I mean? At least these old heads. Some of them have some type of authority or knowledge

and that they could help keep some type of control. You know what I mean? Because if TYC was the worst time I've ever done in my life, bro. I saw kids in there get raped. I saw kids in there get heads cracked open. is fucking TYC was worse like by by far being in prison the only thing you got to worry about is like it depends on what type of person you are and what are you doing in there you know what I mean but the only thing I feel like I had to worry about in there was just a nigga tested touching my nuts

testing my nuts you know what I mean thinking I'm a hoe or something not touching my nuts you know what I mean like like the shit I get in a fight with dude uh I want to go to the rest room and the dude got in my seat you know what I was like hey bro I was sitting there watching the game And he says, nah, nigga, I'm sitting here. Oh, okay, now I'm a squabble. You know what I mean? That's a fight. Like, I ain't going to.

But that would be the only thing. It wouldn't be like, never had a bad jacket. You know what I mean? Never, no one can say nothing bad about me in there. So it was never nothing. I don't know. I just always knew I had to hold my nuts. Just always knew, like, I could not be a hoe.

If you fucking flinch one time, you can get smoked. And I didn't have money or like that to like pay for protection. You know what my dad would send me 60 bucks a month. 60 bucks a month and I'd have to make that last. You know what I mean? I'm sure you found a way to hustle and stuff. I'm fucking damn right. I worked in the kitchen.

Shit. You know what I mean? I worked in the kitchen became a kitchen cook. So I'm going to be honest. I never fucking stole anything from the kitchen. So how do you make money then? That's the hustle. I mean, like I would like I'd pass shit or whatever.

I'd fucking, you know what I mean? Like I'm going to be real. I ate 12 eggs. I drink my protein shake when I get to work. I'd fucking make a 12 egg mixture with a, pound of, I mean a scoop of powdered milk, mix it up, drop some sugar in there. I was stealing from myself, bro. You know what I mean?

Like, I fed myself in there. I wouldn't steal to, like, sell to people or nothing like that. Nah, hell not, bro. When I got there, I'd make a fucking six egg omelet, fucking bacon. And I'd stay in that kitchen all day. You know what I mean? And I'd work and I'd work out. And shit, whenever I got back to the wing, it was already late.

And ain't no one asking me for shit. Do my PT, do our junta or whatever, go out to wreck. come back fucking days over man you're eating raw eggs in there too I eat raw eggs today I don't know how people do that man I still do it

ask that woman I don't get with dying you get sick from that or never never so you just crack it it blend it and you can drink it just like that drop a little vanilla extract in there just to now I can you know what I mean

I would see guys do that all the time in prison and the other thing they'd put in the microwave them niggas I'd never done that one they would make scrambled eggs in the microwave oh yeah that's cool

yeah yeah yeah you had a microwave we had a microwave bastards yeah so they would that why they would Pool tables in AC. Yeah, pool tables. I fucking hate you.

Those are the stories in Texas prisons. That's the shit we hear like, yeah, just go feds, bro. Yeah. No, the only AC is in the offices, library or in the shoe in the hallways. Okay, well, that's the same in Texas too. Yeah, and fans. Yeah, the same in Texas. But Texas is even worse because you have the heat outside.

It's, you know, it's that. Cooking it all day. Yeah, at least if you were up in New York or Connecticut or something shit, like you said, it'd be cooler and fresher during the day. Yeah. Fuck, no. So at 17. do you have to join a gang?

What's that situation? Yeah. Well, I didn't have to. I went in their solo. You know what I mean? Went in their solo. Shiss solo, dollo, whatever.

Be fighting everybody because they know one liked me. You know what I mean? I said nigger and I was Mexican. You know what I mean? So some people, like they would find certain things to get at me because I wasn't out there.

I wasn't stupid. You know what I mean? I knew how to conduct myself on the inside. What's funny is I conduct myself better on the inside than I do on the out. You know what I mean? I got more structure in there, I guess. But yeah,

so people didn't. didn't like me some people and then the people from austin say crazy the fuck that's a whole turnaround the people the people that were locked up from austin i was in a bust the coal unit and that's a bottom or that's like right up the street somewhere bartlett it's somewhere like that and uh a lot of people that were there were from austin clean people around here round rock whatever the area and uh because i was in gettings and so the getting state school was in this area too lee county And everybody, all the essays from Austin, a couple from Houston, they were like, what's up, bro, like, you get into it with all these black dudes, bro.

Like, and they beating your ass here and there, you know what I mean? Like, bro, like, what the fuck? It's not looking good, bro. And I'm like, I don't give a fuck. I'm fucking dying this bitch if I have to. Man, I ain't no hoe, you know what I mean? And they started talking to me about thango blast. You know what I mean?

Houston Tango Blast, this and that. And I was like, we're a bunch of homeboys that get together. And you know what I mean? Make sure you're getting out on time. Make sure nobody fucks with you. We're just looking out for each other. We're basically all Solanos that look out for each other. You know what I mean?

And so I was like, that sounds interesting. You know what I mean? And I'm kind of tired of fucking, you know what I mean? Like getting fucking backdoored over here. You know what I mean? Having to squabble with these motherfuckers and shit. So I was like, let's see what happens, bro. And I was like, well, what's.

What's up? What do I got to do? I got to go smash somebody or some shit. Like that's one of these shit. And he's like, he's like, no, bro, we're going to run a, uh, he was like, we're going to run a quota check. We're going to have everybody go to fucking chow and we're going to stay back and we're going to, you know what I mean? We're going to two on one. I was like, all right. Ran it. Ran two on one. Got down. And immediately, I noticed the change in the tank. I'm sorry. I noticed the change in the tank. All the black dudes were like, oh, this motherfucker got down with these dudes and da da da da. You know what I mean? like I was getting down for protection or some shit like that.

I'm like, no, nika, I'm still going to be the only one in that ring when I'm squabbling. You know what I mean? Like, ain't nobody fighting for me. Woo-woo. Like, but it felt good to have people that I could talk to that I could fucking engage with that. We kind of grew up the same way. And that's really what it was. Like, I never had a circle that, you know what I mean?

Like, fuck with me like that because I've always been the outsider. I'm half Mexican, half Japanese. I'm weird as fuck. You know what I mean? have weird likes. I fucking, so I'm not, I don't like a lot of things that the regular gang members like. You know what I mean? I don't sell drugs.

You know what I mean? I never been a drug dealer, anything like that. You know what I mean? I do drugs. You know what I mean? Where I did drugs. My hobbies were different. I play guitar, skateboard.

You know what I mean? I didn't go fucking tag shit and go out there. So it was different. I didn't have the same hobbies as a lot of these. people. So a lot of people didn't fuck with me. A lot of my friends on the inside were weird as hell too. You know what I mean? So then when I got down with this gang, I was like, okay, these are, I could, I could find three out of the 20 that were kind of like me. You know what I mean? That were cool as fuck, but it still ain't no ho. And that was the main thing. You know what I mean?

Like, I tell everybody all the time, you ain't got to be a gangster to be my friend, bro. You just can't be no pussy. You know what I mean? Like, because I can't protect you too, you know, you got to protect show set up and take myself back to back we're good but you ain't got to be no gang member bro you ain't got to be nothing like that you just got to be a cool dude and so that's what i would do bro like every unit that i'd go on i would just find like one or two cool homeboys out of my own gang and click with them real tough man and locking in with them and everybody else i just be like yeah low IQ low IQ low IQ dumb as fuck low IQ follower you know what I mean and I would just do my own thing and you could ask anybody bro like that did time with me I worked out went to work I squabble when I have to

you know what I mean and I stayed under that goddamn sports TV you know what I mean stayed under that sports TV hey it's your host of Lockton and I need to tell you all about what I just discovered I was going over my bank statements the other day and I realized I was spending hundreds of dollars a month on subscriptions I barely even used. Sound familiar? It hit me like a ton of bricks, how much money was just slipping through my fingers every month. That's when I knew I needed rocket money.

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Now, tango blast, that's how it's pronounced, right? Tongoblast. Tango blast. Now, they're also referred to just as tangos. Yeah, tangos, yeah, different tangos. Now, they have a pretty, from what I know, a dangerous reputation in Texas. Oh, very dangerous. Very dangerous.

Yeah, they're supposedly the biggest gang in Texas now. You know what I mean? Supposed me. Yeah, I still represent to the fullest. You know what I mean? Like, people ask me too, because it's supposed to be, it really is an inside prison, thong, gang, whatever you want to call it, you know what I mean? For everybody on the inside.

Whenever you get out, you don't have to report to nobody. You know what I mean? Nobody tells you what to do. Nobody tells you what to do on the inside either. Can't nobody tell you like, hey, bro, you got to go smash that dude. No, it's not like that. You know what I mean? Everybody, it don't matter if you've been in there 20 years or two years.

I'm giving the game away and shit, goddamn. You're going to fucking, you got the same. And you got the same, you can say that, you know what I mean? No one has word over you. You're equal. And so when I, that was one of the main things that I was, I was, I liked about it. That I was like, oh, can't nobody tell me to do anything. So I can, you know what I mean?

If I just want to fucking sit here, I could just sit here. You know what I mean? Like, can't nobody tell me to go smash on this dude if I don't want to smash on this dude. If I don't know him, whatever, you know what I mean? So the rules were different. It's not like the White Kings. Yeah. Or like Mexican Mafia or like T.S.

or, you know what I mean? Those were the ones that were like, go kill. this dude go do do do do do and i'm like nigger you got me i could beat you up you do heroin all day what you're talking about bro like you can't tell me what to do you know what to me now do they beef with other mexican gangs oh yeah yeah t s that's number one rivals like they've been going at it for years wow so you guys all have the same skin color but you're all beefing with each other crazy yeah but i mean that's kind of like how it is and everything you know me crips and bloods you know what i mean uh abs and aces sometimes or abs and wood sometimes you know what i mean but yeah no definitely

only Mexicans beef with each other hardcore. Can you associate with other races? The rules on the inside, honestly, I'm not able to smoke after a black dude or eat after a black dude in there, like share a spoon or a cup or anything like that with a black dude in there. But I never give a fuck.

You know what I mean? I come, like I don't, I'm different, bro. I don't give a fuck, you know what I mean? So I would. Never got disciplined, never got violated. You know what I mean? I remember one time I, in another thing, you're not supposed to have like white,

white chava or a black chava you know what i mean if you're making you know what chava is like someone under you you know what i mean like someone protect playing for protection or or clean whatever they're doing a chava you know what i mean so you're not like a bitch like a prison bitch yeah i just didn't want to say the word bro you know so so uh uh um if you're mexican you can't have a white dude or a black dude doing that you know i mean that's the black dudes will do their own but they usually don't and but the white dudes are the white dudes are do their own and if you're Mexican, you have Mexican chava. Well, when I went in there this one time, I fucking, my cellie was a white dude. Little small little white dude that was in there for a fucked up case. You know what I mean?

Well, that, I didn't know it at the time, but he came in. He brought his bags in. We're watching him walk up. And my homeboy Dante's like, shout out Dante. He's like, that nigg's going to your cell, bro. Look at him. I was like, you think so? He's like, break his ass. Look at him. Like, look at he just, bro, this little kid was, I can't even explain to him. Like, he scared out of his mind. And then he's going in my cell, bro. And I look like this, you know what I mean? And they're like same way, ball hit everything. And I'll probably a little bit beefed up more.

And so I walk up the stairs and I go to my cell. And he's right as I'm getting to my cell, he's like, fin to close it. And closing it. I was like, hold up. Homeboy, this is my cell. So boom. I was like, first thing, first, take your shoes off right here. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da.

Start lacing him up. And he's just like doing everything I tell him. You know what I mean? And I was like, all right, sit down. sit down and i was like what you're here for bro what's your name do do do he tells he's like no i'm here for aggravated assault and i look at him i'm like you mean aggravated sexual assault and his blood just ran out of his face like and i was like all right tell me what happened do do do do gave the same story that probably they all give him uh she was just young and told me she was this

age which is probably bullshit lie didn't even waste time running through his paperwork i already knew what he was you know what i mean so i was like all right what this house don't go. If you don't want none of them other motherfuckers out there to know what you in here for, you are now a property of smooth. You know what I mean? You will wash my floors. You will clean my thing. Whenever I want to come in my cell, you will leave myself. You come in and you, like, you, and I'll make sure nobody in this motherfucker touches you. You know what I mean? You're good. And, uh, but you will not sit with me. You would not eat. You know what I mean? You're like, but you, you would do everything in the cell. Whenever you do make store, you'll, that's my store. You

I'll let you eat here and there, but everything is mine. And if that's how, that's the only way you're going to survive in this motherfucker. Told his ass that, you know what I mean. And he knew. And you know, you know what I mean? Like, if you're that and just his stature too, like, he wasn't even a stiff-ass rapist or anything, you know what I mean? Like, bro, you're going to get fucked even if he wasn't a sex offender.

You know what I mean? Like, you're out of there. So he, he calmly obliged when we went about our things. About three days later, the white boys came up to my homeboys. and we're like, this dude's over there taking this white boy's bread and da-da-da-da-da-da-da. And I was like, hell yeah, what the fuck, nigga shit? I broke his ass, you know what I mean? So they're like, nah, bro, you can't have no white boy under your wing like that.

And so I didn't know that. I was like, what you mean? Like, I ain't know shit. Like, my homeboys told me like, bro, you can't have it. You can't do that, bro. And I was like, well, fuck, I broke him already. So he's mine. Like, I put the hard work in already.

You know what I mean? I took the chance. I went out there. And so he was like, I told the white boys, I was like, look. Stretch, my niggas, you go in that cell, you know what I mean, we get a one-on-one me and you, if you whip me, you know what I mean, you have them for free, you know what I mean? If I whip you, you still have them because I'm going to buy by the rules, but you got to pay me every time, you know what I mean, every store day I got to get that bread off this, nigga,

you know what I mean, somewhat. I got to get like, I can't remember if I said like 25 or or 685 every other store or some shit like that, you know what I mean, but I got to get that bread off that dude. And so he didn't want to squabwe. And he was like, we can just do that. We can just do that, bro. And I was like, all right. So that's what it was. It went back to the white boys, but I got bread. But then the white boy kited me out of that fucking wing, bro. And I got moved somewhere else. And he did it on purpose. I know my cellie caught me out of my shit, man. Now, I feel like this is the difference between like white gangs and a Spanish gang because a white king would not even allow him to walk the yard. They would have got him out of there.

Really? Yeah. As a sex offender. Yeah. You know, they wouldn't even, they just run them right up. Yeah, that's true. Boy, and also though, I don't, yeah, they had to. Everybody knew. Everybody knew because after that it came out, you know what I mean, like this month, but they kind of me off the fucking wings, so I don't know what happened with that guy. Do the Mexicans protect their own?

Like if there was a choma or a rat amongst your ranks, are you guys making an exception? No, no way. No, he'll get, he'll get head on. But it could be the same situation. Like, we may keep them there and just eat off of them. and beat them or whatever, you know what I mean? States different, bro. Like, it's, I don't know.

Like, you see motherfuckers in there look like they've been kidnapped for years, bro. You know what I mean? Like living under duress and shit. Like, yeah, it's fucked up. What about jailhouse snitches from the Mexicans? Like, something that's common in the feds is that they're always dropping kites on other races and nothing happens to them. Like, that's okay amongst their ranks.

Wow. That happens in the feds? Yeah. Wow. Yeah, no way. No way, Jose. Yeah, we'll smash. him out immediately. We'll take care of it.

Even if it's your own game. Even if it's our own gang. Going after another gang, that's not okay. Oh, yeah. No way. That's gay as fuck. Like, you know what I mean? Like, what's crazy is that, yeah, I do hear about some shit like that. Not even in the feds, but like outside in the streets too. Like dudes will fucking snitch on other dudes to get them locked up. So they're good. You know what I mean? Like, like, as in like hustling and shit. No way, bro. Hell no, nothing's they. Obviously, there's snitches everywhere.

They get by. A lot of them don't get caught. Some get caught. You know what I mean? If you get caught, you're fucking smoked. Like, you know what I mean? We'll let the black dudes beat on you type shit. You know what I mean?

You get fucked off on some dumb shit. So, yeah, snitching, hell not. But like a lot of time, it happens all the time. You just don't know who it is or what you have. A lot of times dudes get smashed and they probably weren't even the snitch. But we don't know who it was and you just look guilty. You know what I mean? So shit.

What do you think was the worst thing you had to do as a gang member in prison? as a gang member for the gang like for the I did it because of that man I don't even want to say I can't even say it yeah second worst or you know yeah okay uh riots riots are scary as fuck riots are very scary and like every fight I've ever been in whether I win or lose I tell my son that all the time because he gets scared of fighting and shit I do I've been terrified every fight I've ever gotten into that don't mean I don't rock and roll you know what I mean like I'm a rock and row and I'm a hand on my own but I'm fucking terrified, and that's why I'm going hard. And so I remember one time we got into it with the T.S.

And Bartlett, this is when I got shipped off of Bartlett unit. We're inside the cafeteria and the Chauhan shit. And we knew it was going to pop off, but we didn't know who was going to pop it off. Because, like, I was still a young kid, you know what I mean? So it's not like I had all the fucking knowledge on what was going to go down. I just knew, hey, go to fucking Chahun's going to pop off. and all I remember is that that's all it sounded like, you know what I mean?

And instant, everybody's up. Black dudes hit the wall. I just see all the, like, it's funny because I see everybody rise and then all the just fade away, you know what I mean? You just see all the black dudes fade and then just doors closed to the chow hall. It gets dark in there. Boom, boom, boom, boom, gas starts piling.

I'm going at it with one black dude. I'm going out of with a white dude. Mexican dudes in front of the T.S. It's just so much chaos. Everybody's swinging everywhere, even the ones that aren't involved. You know what I mean? It's just chaos. And I could see one of my partners up against the wall over there swinging off on these TAs, dude.

I'm using my fucking, my tray. I see pitch, bro, just chaos and scariness, bro. You just got to keep swinging and hope you don't fucking, hopefully it stops as soon as possible. How often would those scenarios happen? I've been in four riots, four rights. And that was through an 11-year prison. you know what I mean four different riots race riots or like against the TS one was the only one against another gang the other ones were race riots against the black dudes when there's a race

riot um do the other Mexican gangs all work together they do majority of the time beef aside and so strange right yeah so strange but then that's why a lot of people like that that are off races that get down with black gangs have a harder time in texas because it gets it's weird like that when the color strikes you know what I mean And it's color against color and it's like, y'all guys are on that side. And so them dudes get it, the dudes get it bad. You know what I mean? The ones that are in black gangs that still ride with the black gang because even

though it's a race right, they'll ride with their black gang. You know what I mean? But all the Mexicans that are Mexican gangs, they will ride together. They don't get a fuck if it's Mexican mafia, whatever. He'll come up and be like, hey, bro, we got your back. Fuck that shit. You know what I mean? Now, does each prison gang have its own, like, corrupt guards that work for them?

Yeah. Yeah, tango blast holds majority of the guards like that. But then, you know, the, I can see the, in San Antonio, the, the, the, the, the, the Horns in San Antonio, they got the shit sold up. But the, if Mexican mafia or T.S or are you or any of the family, because there's two different things in Texas. You got tangos and you got Famos in the Mexican gangs. Tangos are people from the cities that are basically Solanos that stick together from your city. everybody from Houston. So you got like everybody from Austin, everybody from Houston, everybody from Dallas, Fort Worth, San Antonio, Corpus, and the valley in West

Texas. And those are the tangos in Texas. And then the FAMAS are Mexican Mafia. Tia, TSA, RASU Unita, fucking P.R. NPRM. FACAN, man, fucking whatever. We are other weird ones. They come up with, you know what I mean? And so we're, tangos don't fucking ride with FAMAs. The thangos were created because of the famas. The famas were trying to get everybody, all the Mexicans to be their bitches. And they were like, nah, nigger, we're going to stay with ourselves.

We differ now. We ain't with that rah-rah shit. We were over here. And so we've been at war the whole time. And do you have multi-raced guards that are corrupt working for you? Multi-raced guards that are corrupt. Like, so would there be black guards? Would there be white guards?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's because the thongos different. Like the people that are in part of thango blast, at least the newer generation, they got, you know what I mean? They got their, they got swag or they got, you know what I mean? They're different. They're not all like old school.

So they're pulling these guards. You know what I mean? We're pulling these guards. Regardless of their black, black ladies like essays two now, you know what I mean? So white ladies like essays too now. So they pulled anyone. There's no like, oh, you can only pull your color. Nah, everybody free game.

Because if you get a guard, you won. You know what I mean? Like, and this guard, though, maybe fucking a black dude too. You know what I mean? But she's fucking with this. Close your eyes and imagine a room that feels soft, warm, and beautifully inviting. That's life with Serena and Lily. Every piece is designed in-house, crafted by expert hands and made to pair effortlessly with the things you love.

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No, we walk up to him first. Yeah. What if a Mexican mafia goes up to him first? No, he can't recruit. Mexican mafia, and no farmers can recruit in TDC. The only way you're recruiting is if you're in Segg shooting a letter to somebody next door to you to get them on your team. Because if we let you walk on the yard,

you better be holding the Bible. You know what I mean? You could be Mexican mafia, but you can't recruit nobody. If we even catch a glimpse, like you're trying to make your numbers a little bit, you're getting smashed off. We'll let like one or two Mexican mafias walk on each dorm,

if that maybe one. You know what I mean? Like five on the whole unit type shit. Like, nah, it don't roll like that no more. And why is that? Because once they start getting numbers, they start getting numbers, bro, and then they push back. And then when they push back, it's going to have to start all over.

You know what I mean? So it's like, we got the numbers. We're holding it down. We're not letting all that weird shit come through where you got, you know what I mean? Because they do a lot of fucked up shit, bro. Like, of course, we do it too now that we've gained that type of power. You know what I mean? We have the Chavez and the prison bitches and da-da-da-da-da-da-to.

But before it wasn't like that. You know what I mean? We were, if anything, we were the prison. that stood it up. You know what I mean? We're like, we're not bitches no more. You know what I mean? On the coup and we're like,

we're going to protect everybody that don't want to be part of y'all. And that's what we did. But then, of course, we started becoming like that too. And we don't let none of those guys. And that just, that's like, okay, that's T.

I don't say I agree with it. You know what I mean? But that's how it rose in Texas. You know what I mean? They don't let nobody that isn't Thango bring more people. So you would have to be a Mexican mafia or another Mexican gang

from a different prison and get transferred there to be in that game. Exactly. So you can't recruit. No recruit. So what happens if you find out someone's recruiting? They will get smashed immediately and their friend will get smashed. They don't even, and what's funny is that you don't even need evidence. You know what I mean?

Let this Mexican mafia say something fucked up about my friend and I'm going to go over there and be like this motherfucker's recruiting. You know, I saw this guy over there talking and whispering and trying to recruit them. Oh, he is, yeah, he is. And we get all my friends. Boom, smash him off. That was fun, right, guys? Just shit like that. we used to do it to each other.

A homeboy will come on the unit and be like, hey, I'm a homeboy. Woo-woo. I'd be like this motherfucker. I don't like this motherfucker. I don't like this motherfucker here. All right, we're going to go do our heart check.

Go in and do our heart check. Me and my boy, Mikey, go in there. And we're like, all right. He fought back. It was good. But when we come out and be like, hey, this dude got that pussy. This nigga folded up, bro.

Boom, he folded up. So what are they going to do? Immediate reaction, smash him out. They're just going to run in there and smash them. They're not going to ask them questions, you know what I mean? They go in there, smash him out, drag him to the door. Boom, bye. And he was a good homeboy, but we just didn't like him.

They do that. It's crazy. And they're now, bro, for a... No, you said everyone in your gang is equal, treated equal. To a certain extent. So are there shot callers and higher rankers or... There's dudes that kind of like speak for the dorm or something like that or like that can talk to the other gang leaders, you know what I mean?

Because if a Crip gang leader, you know what I mean, has something to talk to the blast, We're not all going to roll up 50 deep, you know what I mean? And be like, we're all equal. We want to hear all here. So we'll have one dude. You know what I mean? That's more seniority or the more calm and collective one. Go talk to these people and shit like that.

But I had to speak like, speak for everybody. Nah, because I could come up and be like, no, I don't fucking ride with that weak-ass shit. You know what I mean? Fuck what you're talking about. And they'll be like, well, okay, well, let's vote on it then. You know what I mean? And then everybody has to vote. And majority wins.

But can nobody tell me to go handle up? Can nobody tell me to go do-do-do-do-do. It's kind of basically equal. Obviously, there's favoritism. There's, you know what I mean, the prison politics that get involved inside. You know what I mean? Like, he knows how to fight really, really good. So no one's going to fuck with him, you know what I mean?

Regardless, you know what I mean? So he kind of has more power than the next man, even if he's only been down for six. Just you never know. But majority, everybody's on an equal playing ground. What did your dad think of all those? Yeah. Up the gang life, the gang activity, everything like that. God, it's going to sound fucked up, but my dad was supportive of me, bro.

I'm telling you, he's my biggest, he was my biggest cheerleader, bro. Like, that's what you're doing? That's what you're rocking. You know what I mean? I'm with you, buddy. You know what I mean? Just, you know what I mean? Be careful.

You know what I mean? What else can he say? I've fucking been psychos since I was 10, remember? You know what I mean? So he's like, he loved me. You know what I mean? And I don't know. He's just, I feel like I've seen some stuff on your dad too.

You know what I mean? He's a gangster. He's a good dude. And you have a real great dad. And if I had been in your position or my dad was like, that's probably how my time would have ran. You know, my dad would have took care of me like that. And I wouldn't have had to be, you know what I mean?

Crazy the cycle. Because you had, I feel like you knew how to crack the system. That was one of the guys paying for protection. I know, but you crack the system in a, paying for protection. Was it hard to do? do? No, it's pretty easy. Come on, bro. It's not like you go up to someone and you pay them for protection. I know. Yeah. You got some swag to it. Exactly. We're all eating in here. It wasn't like I was in those prison bitches you had, you know? Exactly. Oh, no, I know.

That's what I'm saying. If I seen how, I'm going to watch some shit about you. I was like, yeah, that's what's up, bro. So did you spend a lot of your life in prison after that? Like, were you in and out? Yeah, bro. I got out when I was 19 from 17, you know, I mean the five your sentence from 14 to 19. I got out when I was 19. And like three months later, I caught a fucking other charge. Aggravated robbery. The dude that stole 100 bucks for me. I beat the living shit out of him, cracked his eye so I could drug him in the middle of the street and left him there. Like it would, like I was, that was okay to do. There was like there was no witnesses or anything, you know me? Everybody saw everything. Fucking cops were at my house. 10 minutes later,

arrested me for aggravated robbery. Because this dude stole my money, but I beat his ass and took my money back. And so that's robbery, I guess. That's what they got me for. They're like, dude, nobody's going to believe that he took your money and you took it back. Like, my lawyer told me, they got 76 pictures of this dude's body. And you just drug him in the middle street. They're going to think you robbed him. You got your fingerprints on the money, the blood's on the money, his fingerprints on the money.

You took it from him. You're smoked. And you got, priors like, what the fuck you're doing? You know what I mean? You're smoke. So I took a six-year fucking plea bargain and went back for another six years. And you're right back to the prison gang. So when you got out after that,

Do you finally decide to turn it around? No. No, no, no, no. Psycho. So I keep doing, keep bashing that head against that wall, man. I got out 2017 and immediately went to drugs in the streets and linked up with the homeboys that were locked up with. And fucking next three years was black, bro. Just bad, bad, bad, bad.

The worst of the worst. Like the worst probably I've ever been in my life. Like, yeah, how I lived and how I, what I was doing to people and my train of thought. And she was there the whole time she's seen it. It's fucking out of there. And I'm telling you as soon as that she got pregnant, man. With the first kid? Yeah, my little girl.

It's so cliche to say, but it fucking changed. It was like it gave me the excuse, not even the reason. It gave me the excuse to finally be soft. You know what I mean? I don't got to be hard no more with this little girl. I can be soft. Can't nobody tell me shit for being soft? Because this is a little girl.

It's a precious little age. You know what I mean? Like I get to be calm and I don't have to worry about it. I don't know, bro. That's really how it was. Like it took all of the masculinity to me to the fact that kind of get scared sometimes that I'm not that same person. Like Mike Tyson in that fight the other night.

Like, oh my God. What happened? You know what I mean? Like it kind of feels like that. Like, do I still have that? ferociousness if I need it, you know what I mean? And so I promise you, man, that first child and then every single one after that, like I said, I was like, maybe I should just keep having kids. Until you have four more after that. You know what I mean? I was like, maybe I should just keep

having kids and this is working for me. It's a good look on me. I like being a father more than anything in this world, man, like picking up my kids from school, walking my daughter. I walk my daughter to, from school every single day. I mean, we live right here to like right there from the school. but just doing that every single day. I fucking love it, dude. I take my other kids to school and pick them up. I give, that's what made me finally fucking slow down. Do you think she saw that soft side in you somewhere deep down?

That's why she stuck with you? Like she knew you were capable of something more? Because if she fell in love with you for the bad side of you, then she wouldn't still be with you today because you're not that person anymore. Yeah. Yeah. definitely. I can see that. Yeah. I'm going to be honest. I think I've always like I said, yeah, I think everybody kind of sees it in me. You know what I mean? I'm a little softy. You know what I

mean? But it's covered by so much. You know what I mean that not everybody sees it. But of course, yeah, she knew it. I feel like you fucking probably already know it. You can probably see through me already. Like, you're soft as fuck smooth. Get out of here. You know what I mean? Well, after getting to know you, I'm sure people look at you. a certain way and they think, you know, gang member, this, that. They just, they, they, they, they, they do that stereotype. Definitely. And yeah, but I, I was also eager to show her too. You know what I mean? That, hey, bro, I, I, I, I, I'm, you know what I mean? Yes, I'm capable of this, but I'm, I'm, I love, I love hard, you know what I mean? I know how to do that too. And I mean, thankfully, I feel like

that's what my father taught me, Tommy had to love. You know what I mean, he loved me unconditionally. I loved him unconditionally and I was able to show that to my wife and my kids and stuff. What lessons do you want people to take away from what you've learned along the way and your story? What do you want people to know? The main thing, man, that it's not knowing, maybe one person will grab it out of everybody. But you don't have to fit in, bro. You don't have to be that, you know what I mean? That's not what's cool. You know, you don't have to be the cool guy all the time because I feel like that's what got me. Always trying to impress people. was trying to be like make people like me and where I was at was the thing that people liked was

bad shit you know what I mean so I had to do the bad shit to get people to like me and it's just like man just be yourself and I feel like I'm you know me I'm 35 now and this is finally able to be myself went through all that bullshit you know what I mean but now I'm able to be myself and I won't I don't don't ever want to go back to have to be somebody else you know what I mean to have to be that guy you're young man you got your whole life ahead of you still hell yeah you got you got so much more. And a lot of people that have kids that were in that life don't necessarily learn by the first time. Oh, I know. It took me, and I'm still not learned, dude. I'm still out of there. You know what I mean? But I feel like I got a great support system. I got a great, you know what I mean, road ahead of me, man.

Like, I've never been this happy, bro. Like, honestly, my family is everything to me. And that that's what's kept me alive, man. That's what's kept me out here. So family. Family. Family is the main thing, bro. Family and determination, bro. Just keep pushing. What do you do now for work? I make music. I'm an independent artist.

Been dropping music like a motherfucker. Signed with G.T. Go To's Distribution. With non-affiliated productions. Shout out stylish rushing. My boy, Dirty White Boy. I got a great team around me now, too, bro. Like solid fucking people that are good people.

or not freaking ex, you know what I mean? Just good people, bro, that got their shit that are, you know, I've never been around people like that and it feels good. It kind of rubs off on me. You know what I mean?

I try to be a little bit more. Try to at least. That's awesome, man. Well, that's all you need in life. Some good people around you, you know. I bought a turtleneck, bro. And I look good in it. A turtleneck like a shirt?

Oh, yeah. Do you like him in the turtle deck? Fucking looks great in the turtle neck. Super smooth. That's awesome, Ben. Well, Houston, smooth. I appreciate you coming out on the show today, man. I'm glad we finally got to do this.

And I'm glad you're heading in the right direction and everything's working out for you. And I wish you the best in the future. We'll have all the links to your music and everything plugged in on the description in this episode. I appreciate you, brother. I appreciate everybody out there. Shout out Ian, man, for having me here. Shout out non-affiliated productions and everybody that's looking out for me, bro. Boy, Houston, Smooth.

Thank you.