Locked In with Ian Bick - Inmate Explains How He ESCAPED PRISON | Erich Porsch

Episode Date: September 17, 2023

Erich Porsch has faced challenges his entire life. After a childhood in the projects, an adulthood in and out of jail, and a serious work accident, Erich has been able to turn his life around. He faced hardships, often sleeping in the car or tents as a child. Eventually, Erich began using drugs and spent time on the run before doing a long, 13-year stint in prison. After his release, he worked on a construction site and had an accident that left him in a wheelchair. As he was recovering from that accident, he decided to start a company to help those who are rehabbing their lives after addiction. Connect with Erich Porsch: @fromhandcuffstohandouts Email: [e-mail] Connect with Ian Bick:  https://www.ianbick.com/ 00:00 Intro 06:39 Childhood 17:41 Start of Trouble and missed opportunities  24:23 Run ins with the Law  29:30 Tool Booth Theft  34:50 Incarcerations  41:35 Smash and Grabs  49:15 Breaking out of Prison (Reel) 1:08:16 Altercation with Parole Officer  1:11:41 Craziest Story  1:14:25 Prison Gang  1:18:27 Prison Hustle  1:22:40 Prison Corruption 1:24:13 Rebuilding Relationship with his daughter  1:33:36 Accident changed his life  1:50:30 Changing one persons life Subscribe to our membership program on YouTube to get early access to interviews, see behind the scenes photos, live chat with Ian & more: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRvVklIft6DMelVW18M0oBw/join Powered by Q29 Productions, LLC Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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This episode is brought to you by Netflix. The Four Seasons is back for season two, starring Tina Faye, Will Forte, Coleman Domingo, Marco Calvani, Carrie Kenny Silver, and Erica Henningson. After a difficult year, your favorite group of friends continues their tradition of vacationing together now with a baby in tow. From the Jersey Shore to upstate New York and Italy, their getaways are sure to take unexpected turns where comedy ensues. Watch the four seasons May 28th only on Netflix. Welcome back to Lockton with Ian Bick, a top 200 podcast for society and culture in America, all thanks to you guys, the listeners and the watchers, week after week. On today's episode, we have Eric Porch coming from New Jersey to tell his incredible story of addiction, gang life in prison,

the 13 years he spent inside a state prison, and how he was able to get out, turn it all around, and recreate a new life for himself. sit back, relax, and enjoy my interview with Eric Porsche. And as always, guys, thank you so, so much for tuning in week after week. And if you guys could just take a quick second, tune in on Apple Podcasts, Spotify Podcasts, and leave us a quick review. Or if you're listening to this and watching this on YouTube, hit that like, comment, subscribe button. It means the world and does us wonders.

Eric, welcome to the show, man, coming to us from New Jersey. You actually, you listen and watch all of our stuff all the time. Every day. I got to ask, what's your favorite episode? I don't have an exact favorite. I can just relate to the people who you had from Jersey. Who do you think you relate to the most out of the episodes that you've seen to? You know what?

Quite honestly, a little bit of everybody. A little bit of everybody. You were telling me the Jay Williams episode struck home for you to. Listen, I've been watching Jay Williams from day one like I have with you and a lot of other. YouTubers. And Jay Williams, I identify with so much because of the ethnicity, because of what he did in prison, how he moved, him being Caucasian, working in maintenance. And when you work in maintenance, you have Buku movement. You know, you have so much, you have so much movement. You have so much movement. You have so much clout. Is that it?

Clout. I don't know what it's called. I've been under prison since 2015. I don't even know what the new terminology is nowadays. What the youngsters are calling it. Yeah, I don't even know. You know, so when I talk about prison and stuff like that, I can only relate to 2015 and back. Gotcha.

You know, but when it comes to my story, if people want to listen sooner or later, but, yeah, Jay Williams, I just say, you know, I can relate to that guy so much, man. I really could. I think it's so cool that we have listeners that watch avidly and listen to it regularly and everything and then they're able to come on to the show to like easily accessible. You just reached out to us, filled out the form or whatever,

and then we made it happen. Like, dude, not for nothing. Like, you know, like I told you when I got here, I'm completely overwhelmed. You know, I don't come from a spectacular background. And I think this is spectacular that you got people following you and listening to you. You know, I've got a few people in my life that ever even dared to listen to me. One probably being my daughter, you know, which I'm grateful for that.

And the other one being myself, which is only part of the time, you know. But it's, I think it's, I look up to you and the other people who talk about what happened in the past, how you got there and what you're doing to make it better. You know, you guys are an inspiration. I want to say a quiet inspiration because not to overdo anybody, but I just always wanted to help somebody my entire life. It was just always in my heart. My mom taught me. You know, always help somebody. Keep your hands in your pocket, your mouth shut and help somebody when they're down. And just think about how many people you're going to be helping today just by doing something as simple as sharing your story. And it's a lot to do, but it has such a pronounced

effect on the world. I mean, so many people listen to our podcast, hundreds of thousands of people. It's crazy. You know what? It really is. And I'm completely floored because when I came home from prison in 2015, I came on January 4, 2015 from doing 13 years. So when I came home, that that was all the pill epidemic. That was when all the smart. phones came out. I was pretty stupid. The only, you know, my friend handed me a flip phone in Bayside State Prison Farm. He handed me a flip phone that said, call who you want. And I remember a little satellite thing going like that. And I was like, I called my mom at work. I called my, I didn't know who else to call.

Who am I to call? I don't know who else to call. I call my mom every day when I was in prison. You know, so I'd call my mom at work. Polk. I'll get into my nickname in a minute. Polk? Yeah, ma. How are you calling me? I was calling my friend's cell phone.

Jesus Christ, what the hell is wrong with you? Don't call me from here. You're going to get yourself, you know. So that was my first experience on a cell phone, you know. So when I came home, I was pretty stupid. And I consider myself pretty stupid when it comes to the technology today, although I'm trying. Don't be so hard on yourself. out there. Listen, I, listen, I can, I just learned six months ago how to answer and send an email.

Really, that's, that's, that's, you know, not because I didn't, not because I didn't know how to, probably because I didn't want to, so I was still stuck on stupid, you know, I, I found myself so institutionalized when I came home, you know, still washing boxers when I took a shower. My mom would have yelled me, what the hell is up there? I'm still hanging boxers up on the shower curtains and stuff, man. It took a long time for me to shake that, you know, and then soon after came my accident. You know, so a lot of things happened in my life that from one thing to another,

I didn't have enough time to transition from one part of my life into another, whether it was sleeping in a car or a tent growing up. living in poverty in Norke and Valesburg. Yeah, let's start at the childhood. Where did you grow up? Where are you from? Oh, wow. My mom and my dad got divorced when I was one years old. Me and my sister, my sister's five years older than me,

left with my mom, my stepfather, Jack. It's just you too, you and this. Me, my sister, my mom, and my stepfather. My stepfather and my father were friends at that time. Okay, that was back in, you know. And I was a year old, so I was back to 76. That's when you're growing up. None of my business, you know.

But my stepfather took very good care of me. I spent the weekend with my dad. My dad was, you know, great dad. I also have an older brother who stayed with my dad and my stepmother's standing. They also had two twins born and girl, Keith and Lori, a couple of years after they got married. But my dad would bring me up the old time. When I turned 13, trust me,

My family is filled with dock builders, local 1556, dock builders. We drive piles. We build foundations for docks, seawalls, piers, bridges, and foundations for huge builders. Most of the Trump buildings on the west side highway. So when I was 13 years old in the summertime, my father was, get your ass to work. Come on a job. You would pay me $20 an hour off the books. When I was 13, 14 years old, $20 now off the book.

You couldn't tell me shit. So this kind of sets the foundation from my lifestyle of having things. Because trust me, I grew up very, very poor. When I went with my mom and my stepfather, my stepfather was a loonum cider and a roofer. So in the summertime, we were great. We had an apartment or whatever. In the wintertime, we slept in a van, you know. We slept in hotels.

It took baths. and dung the donuts bathroom. And you thought that was all normal. My mom did the best she could for me. I know that. She kept us educated. She made sure we all graduated high school, regardless of where we were at that time.

But she always kept me clean, dress, educated, and warm and fed. You know, so I thought it was normal. You know, but as I got a little older, you know, that's not normal, you know, because you see other kids that have, you know, newer things or they're not sleeping in their aunt's basement. They're not sleeping in the car. They're not sleeping in a tent. You know, they have normal life, so to say. And what about your friends? Are they raised differently, or is everyone kind of growing up in a poverty-tort environment? You know what? Growing up at a young age up until I was till we got to Bloomfield. Bloomfield is when my life changed completely,

border on to Bloomfield in Newark. I got there in the fourth grade, 1988, 89, something like that. That's when I lived on a block. Section 8 housing, almost like projects for white people, you know, six house, six, six family houses, all Section 8, everybody had kids. So when I'm moved on the block, my name is Eric. I was the fifth Eric on the block. Okay, so that's good to show you a lot and I have a uniqueish name, Eric. It's not a kind of name. It's spelled different. Especially mine here, I see, but nobody else has had that had that spelling. So I was cool. But growing up, growing up there, it changed my life because that's when I got into, I mean, it was just 50, 60 of us that would come from all over the surrounding blocks from Newark, from South then.

We lived on Charles Street, which was a, at the time, we had a little gang, Charles Street Posse, you know, and we would click with Columbus Street. And the first day, boy, to all the guys, like, we thought, you know, again, we 14, 15, 16 years. We were the shit. You know, everybody else was a little bit older than me. I was always a younger kid. You know, everybody else had their license. I was sitting in the back giving $3 for gas money, you know. So that kind of boosted my life up a little bit.

I grew up kind of fast. Not only because I grew up in poverty, my mom was very strict. She used to beat the shit out of me, whatever she could. And my stepfather, my stepfather was 6'3. 250, big dude, you know, and he would beat the shit out of me too, man, but it wouldn't matter. I'd sneak out my window and I'd still do what I want to do because it was at that time that it was more of what people thought of me. I was, you know, I was one of the bad kids in a neighborhood. I went to, I went to juvenile hall. I got locked up. I got suspended from school.

What did you think of yourself during that time period? Like, what was your opinion of you? You know what? It's funny because I rewind a little bit. I was always, I was always, Rambo is my hero. Commando is my hero. I love the United States Marine Corps. I loved the respect that they had. You looked at them. So my mom, when I was nine years old,

when I was nine years old, my mom called Trenton, Washington, D.C., she called everywhere to try to get me into a military school something uh it was hands-on she got a a picture in a time life book it was a it was a it was a marine corps he he had to he had the smoky bear and he was up on up up on the up on the tree with a little kid by by it like this i said that's what i want and uh i was one of the first i was one of the first cadets in the state of New Jersey, me, none of my, me, five of my friends and some other cadets, we started, we started in Red Bank, New Jersey, with a retired drone instructor Casey and Major Tornow. They wanted to start some kind of military school. So it was a military school, ran by the Marine Corps by retired

rain corps. It wasn't so much books and everything. We didn't stay there. We went. two times a month and three weeks during the summer. And we would get all the flanking movements. We'd go to the gun range. We would repel. I was the first cadet in the state of New Jersey to have my jump wings and scuba helmet certified. I was the first drill instructor. Cadet drill instructor.

Yeah, I was a guy with smoky bears screaming in here. And how I got the southern accent, I don't know. You just get it when you're taught like that. But that made me feel dominant. Do you think of those things like the people you idolize, Rambo, the cadets, whatever, did that give you a safe space in your mind, like away from the poverty, away from getting beat up by your stepdad, things like two? Well, I didn't get beat up by my stepdad.

I got discipline. Yeah, discipline. Yeah, but either way, it's still. Listen, back then, you know, again, I'm 48. you know, we can't do what we do now, but, you know, I got beat the shit out of, you know, belt, skateboard. So that is beat up. Listen, I listen, you know what?

I don't care. It doesn't matter. It made me the person I am today. And I'm so glad that my mother disciplined me, my stepfather discipline, my stepmother, my father, my father when I was with them, even my sister, you know, they made me the person I am today. They may have not did their part because I ended up the way I did in prison. hooked on drugs, joining the gang, blah, blah, blah. But you know what?

I respect them and I love them so much for what they did. Because again, they made me in person or I am today. So overall, how would you sum up your childhood? Like, looking back on it now, now that you're older, do you think you lived a good childhood? Or do you think you had traumatic incidents as a child that affected the person you became? And it was kind of like a rough childhood in that sense.

Well, when I look at it now, okay, and I'm going to be completely honest. Malesced it. Okay, molested. I grew up in poverty. I didn't get beat by my family. I got disciplined, discipline. And it taught me a lesson.

It didn't teach me the way I wanted to go because I still got suspended from school. You know, I still got locked up. I still ran with the wrong cry. I did things I wasn't supposed to do. So when I look at my child, you know what, I wouldn't change a thing about my child except for the amount of time that I did

because I was away from my daughter for so long, for so long. What I did, I deserve every beating I got in prison from the guards, from people, everything that happened. The crying, the sitting in the cells, the detoxing off of drugs, they're getting spit on and kicked by, by, you know, people just walk by, you know, on the cell block and you're laying on the floor.

It's fucking spit on you. Really? Well, you know what, I deserve that. When I look at it now, the things that I did. So how do I look at my childhood? You know what, again, I wouldn't change a thing of my childhood. It made me to imagine who I am today, and my passion is to make sure that people don't repeat what I went through.

Who are you closer to your mother or your father? My mom? Your mom. So I grew up with her? You would say your mom. Can you put my sister in that equation? Yeah. My sister.

So you were closer to your sister rather than your mother? Yeah, because my sister, me and my sister were in the van or in the back of the car. My mother and my stepfather slept in the front. We would eat cheese doodles off the toolbox or we would share a yoohoo or something. So me and my son. I love my sister. You've formed a bond over those tough times. A bond, a bond isn't, it would be way more.

I love my sister so much. She's such an inspiration to me. She just, she's great. She's great. I'm not saying to X's my sister. She was a bitch. I don't even want to say that word, you know, but I would say that, but I love my sister. So I guess the question is here, even though you guys grew up in poverty, you were still

raised with good morals. You had, your mother tried her best. you had a good father. Where does it go like sour? Like where does, where do you start getting into drugs? Where does your life start going down a dark path? Although your parents did everything they could, where does that shift? Yeah, you know what?

Again, they did everything they could. They saw the signs. They did. But you know what? I was just that ignorant, that that person. I just didn't care. I didn't care. When you hit me, it didn't hurt.

I'm sneaking out the window anyway. It was when I was 16. It was when I moved to Bloomfield. That was the trigger? It was when I moved to Bloomfield and I got with the people who just didn't care. At first I got with a good crowd. We were going on to clubs, Albert and James and Matt, Inch, and, you know, everybody from Mill Bay. You know, we would go meet at the, you know, and everything was good.

Some people started drinking. We all drink. I'm sorry. We all drink. Some people do cocaine. Some people drink. Some acid. I was a person who wanted to try it all. You know? And then somebody asked me to smoke something one day and it was laced with crack cocaine, free base, whatever it was at a time. And that was I was 16 years old. That was the part of my life that that was a time of my life that everything changed. I didn't even know it. Do you think that if that one circumstance of that drug getting laced and you were smoking that, do you think if that never happened, you never would have ended up in prison? 200%.

200%. Because right after that, I went to rehab. I was okay. So you got addicted right off the bat. I liked the taste. Just off of that one hit gave you the... It wasn't the feeling. It was the taste.

I didn't smoke it out of a stem. I smoked it in a joint. So it tastes it completely different. What would you compare the taste to for someone that's never tasted it before? Wow. Wow. That's a good question. Cotton candy?

Really? So as a kid, I'm sure you had cotton candy before or never? You had cotton candy? So when you had that, you're like, wow, this is like a cracked up cotton candy. It was the taste. It wasn't the feeling. Or maybe it was the feeling, but I didn't realize it. Do you think it brought you to like a new world of something that was better?

I think it broke my dopamine. The more I've learned, I think that's when it broke my dopamine. I've tried pot on mistake when I was nine years old. That may have broke my dopamine, but I believe it was that house party at Gay Palmer's house party at his grandmother's house and he's darned. When I walked into that room, it was a hundred rooms, this thing. And I was just going to different rooms. but we're dancing, having fun.

It's a high school party, yeah. Yeah, and I walked into this room. I'm going to name the people out there. Try this. Whoa, what's in there? That's base with weed. I said nothing about crack. It's not about crack.

That's base. I didn't know what it was. The next day, you know, we talked about the party and so on. And I was like, what was that feeling? and somebody gave it to me in a cigarette. And then somebody gave it to me with ashes on it. And it was off to the races. And not just fuel the whole...

It fueled everything so much. I started smoking pot. I stayed away from that. I went to rehab. I was good. I stayed in the military school. I went to the Marine Corps. Because I spent so much time in the military school,

they were going to give me an opportunity to be either a scout sniper or a drill instructor in Paris Island. I'm going to be a scout sniper. I can't even get into it. I can't even talk about it because it's so embarrassing that I fucked it up so bad. You know, never was, never has been, never will be. Because of drugs?

Yes. Yes. Dirty yarn. You know. So if you were clean, right? If you continued down that path, you would have had a career in the military. Absolutely. Do you think about that now?

I think about it every day. I think about it all the time now, especially now that there's so many things you can see on, on, on, on internet. When I, you know, when I'm following somebody with shorts or whatever, suggestions come up on YouTube. And I look up a lot of, uh, how the Marine Corps is now, uh, in, in, um, in basic training. And, you know, I look up doing like that. I'm like, man, then I look at like some of the, some of the sniper's records.

And I'm like, wow, I was going to scout sniper school, dude. I was going to Scouts and I was going to Scouts and I would have retired from that, you know. But the thing is, dock building, the family business will call it, 22 dock builders are my family. We didn't have our own company, but that was the union that we grew up in. The money was outrageous. You know, here I am, 18 years old, couldn't go into the Marine Corps now, couldn't finish Marine Corps. and I'm making $31 an hour. Are you kidding me?

You know, $31 an hour? We're going back to night. I graduated in 93, 94. That's a lot of money for that time period. 95? In 1995, you couldn't tell me shit. Well, it was minimum wage like four or five bucks an hour back? You couldn't tell me shit, you know?

So that boosted my ego. But you couldn't stay clean. At the time I was staying clean. Then I got introduced. I got hurt. I got hurt. I got my foot crushed on the job site in 2001. But I'm not going to front even before that.

The dopamine was already busted when I was 16 years old. I started smoking pot when I was nine. Okay? I smoked pot all through my life. You know, when I got introduced to the pain pills, I liked it. It got rid of the pain. That was after your accident. That was after the first accident.

I got my foot crushed in 2001. On this job, you were working? One of them, yes. And how old were you? I was 20. But you still up until that time, you haven't had real run-ins with the law, maybe a couple of arrests or whatever. Oh, no. Oh, no, I was already robbing houses.

You were? Toad boots. Yeah. For what? Because it was a fun thing to do, man. Because it was stupid. Because it was stupid. You know, I didn't start smoking.

and stop right away. Yeah. No, there was a, there was a couple of months that taking money, money from mom's purse, you know, breaking into people's houses, shit like that. How's your relationship with your parents at that time? At that time, my mom, very disappointed. My dad, very disappointed. But again, he had such a career going on.

He was the big boss. He had two new children, a new wife. Not that he made me any less. No, not at all. You know, my father loved me very much, but it was, maybe he was drinking at the time. I don't know, but his life was up and down. Like, my, never knew with any drugs. It was just with work.

I'm curious, what's it like? Because I've always wondered about this to be a kid and see your dad, your parents get divorced, and your father go off and have a kid or kids with someone else. Do you feel neglected at that point? Because I'm wondering if that affects your mindset in later years too. Do you feel like unwanted? You know what? And honestly, I didn't know.

Did I look into it? And throughout the years, talk to counselors. I've been trying to find out for years, why am I the way I am? Well, you know, why do I do the things I do? Multiple counselors, and psychiatrists, psychologists, whatever it is. No, no, because my dad, my dad, my dad, my dad treated me equal, you know,

not maybe so much with my sister, Lori, but with my brother Keith. If we went out fishing, we'd go out fishing. I'd come up every other weekend. We'd spend time together. If he was working, I'd spend time. my stepmother and my new brother and sister. Well, I'd bring my friend up.

You know, it all depends. But no. No, my father did, my father did the best he could. I never say anything bad about my dad. You know, he did his very best. He taught me, you know, from afar how to be a man, but how to be a great work like my brother did. You know, the work ethic, yeah.

You know, his work hard, plus the money was great. I loved working hard. You know, I worked hard up until the day I got, seven tons, you know, and I never took a day off of work, believe it or not. Even when you were doing robberies and stuff, you still work. For a lot. So were you motivated by money? Money.

It was money. When I stopped doing drugs, when I stopped doing drugs, it went to women, it went to the gym, it went to money, sneakers, clothes, just being who I am. And then that wouldn't last too long because that would get boring. I didn't get much satisfaction of it. I got satisfaction out of doing the wrong because it was so much easier to do wrong than it is to do it right. Oh, it's all right. Even today.

Even today I talk to people. It's so much easier to do it. It's so much easier to do the wrong thing, dude. It's not, you know. And you hear it all the time. The real gangsters are the ones that are home taking care of their kids. They're not the ones who are selling all the dope and had the cars and now they're locked up. Really?

Because now they're locked up. What are they doing for the kids? doing for your family, not your piece of shit in my eyes, you know, and I was there. I was a piece of shit too. Maybe I still am a piece of shit in some people's eyes. It doesn't matter, but, but I, you know, I love my life today. And you know, it's even harder to be struggling and see other people not struggling that are doing bad things and you still get up and you still want to be that good person and you keep

moving forward. That was hard. That was hard for me to swallow. That was hard for that. That really was. so I just had to be a better burglar. I had, really, I had to be a better burglar. I had to be a better thief.

You know, here I am, 18, 19 years old, just graduate in high school, and I'm bringing home, at the time, I said the late 90s, I'm bringing home $1,300 after taxes. What are you going to tell me? Nothing. I'm working 10 hours a day,

but on the weekends now I'm not doing nothing. And the fucking money's gone. Why is the money gone? Because I'm spending it on this. I spend on it on girls. Spend on drugs. Spent on bars because I want to be the shit. Now I am Monday morning.

I'm not even getting high yet. And I'm broke. You know, but I was addicted to the money at first, yes. So, Eric, on the topic of the burglary part before I mess over, you said you were robbing toll booths. How does that go down? How do you rob a toll booth? You got to walk me through the whole thing. I will.

It's really embarrassing. It's really embarrassing because, except for the people that were there, don't know much about this part of my life, but when you're fucked up, you're fucked up, you know, and you just don't care. 1997, 1998, you drive through the toll booth,

okay, and you throw the change in there is that big white basket. had tokens at the time. And I think that at the time it was 35 cents, 35 cents for the tolls. So you throw it in there. But when you look over this way and there's a basket on that side, you see it, you see people throwing the money in and it's going inside this thing. And you're looking at it. And the door's open. The door's open. This is, again, going back here, the door is open and you're looking at it. And you're looking at two draws. I don't know what fuck is a fool man

we'll take off so I don't know what I don't know what time it was 8, 9 o'clock at night I pull up to Essex County and I could tell all this because I was convicted of it asshole I pull up to

to the toll booth and the doors open to my left where I'm throwing the change in I hit the hazards. I go in there, I grab a flathead screwdriver, and there's only, there's two draws in there. I want to break your shit, I can't afford this. There's two draws in there about that big, and there's an arm that goes over in just like that with a key in the middle.

I go in, take a screwdriver, I pop it open. As soon as I pop it open, every red light, this is the time, before they split up on the Garden State Park, but just before they split up half here and half here, they went across both northbound and southbound. As soon as I popped that lock, every red light, whether it was a stoplight or the one up here, when you miss it, when you miss thing, or the ones up there. And every bell went off across north and southbound. You know, it goes off. I got people behind me.

Okay? Again, I just said, Tom, I didn't give a shit. I was working at the time. I was messed up. I was strung out. I don't know whatever it was. And I grabbed both draws

that wide, that high, that deep. Probably some of the strongest steel netting. It was just steel with holes punching it so you can see they were both filled up with change. Probably one of the hardest things I ever got into outside of an 8th machine.

Open it up, I get all change and tokens at the time. The first time I get $1,000, a little bit less than that, $900, but that's a score. And change, all in change? All in change. And Parkway tokens. You go down to Rosvale Avenue down in Newark when you sell it to the guineas, you know, right? using Parkway tokens at a tonne. They didn't have...

Easy passes. They didn't have easy passes. What the hell was easy pass then? You know, so... They had no cameras then. There didn't no cameras then. The only person can tell is the person behind me. They don't know what's going on.

Oh, I'm gone. Sometimes I would hide... I would hide a license plate. After the first time, I had the license plate. Well, I made a mistake, and I brought somebody with me one time. And it's just... It doesn't matter who it is. It doesn't matter what it was.

I bring them with me. We get it off. I do this three or four times. They called it robber. I didn't rob it. I burglarized it. You know, then they started pad locking the door shut.

Then they started doing a whole bunch of different things. And then, of course, there's all cameras now. But I brought somebody with me. And right before we went and we did that, we were on Route 3, right before getting on 21, there's a shell station there. We pulled over. He didn't know what I was going to do.

It's my best friend in time. He didn't know what I was going to do. I get out. Say, yeah, I need change. Guy pulls out a lot of money. You know, I just push him in his chest, I take the money, hat drops. When we take off.

We get away with it. Cambers weren't working. He gets lopped up a couple of weeks later, and he's sick on, he's dope sick. So he's in there like this to the cops. Oh, oh, I got information. I got information. He did a robbery.

He did this. So that's how I got caught with that. on to the to the toe booths. So that was my first time, that was my first introduction to being a criminal. A major criminal, yeah. Yeah, I mean, besides getting into a fight, besides getting into fights and little dumb shit when I was a juvenile, you know, I did five 364s to 180s running concurrent in the County Jail, Essex up in Caudwell. A lot of people remember that. It's closed now.

So you got caught for this? Oh yeah, I got told on. So do you do the 13 years just because of this? No, no, no. You didn't do, yeah, I was going to say. No, no, we didn't get into that yet. That was my first. Jail sentence.

That was my first time, yeah. So I come home, you know, again, we go to the rehab things, we do all that. My first my first prison sentence was two years. It was a four-flat. I got a four-flat for...

Burglary? It wasn't burglary. It was actually gotten to a fight at a bar, underage, it didn't matter. I do fight. It was with a friend of mine

and I hit him. His chain came off, whatever. He was an asshole anyway. He was just a sissy. Cops came. Oh, he came. came after me and he took my chain. I didn't take a chance.

I hit him and the chain came off. So now I'm hit for robbery. You kidding me? So it got dropped down to an aggravated assault whenever I'd do two years. Do two years, I come home. I'm just shit now. I'm like, you know, I didn't did some state time.

Juvenile shit don't matter. So now, you know, I'm still living in Bloomfield. I'm still living in Bloomfield. We're just, my family is just, my stepfather just started working for the union despite him and my father, my stepfather, my father being best friends when my stepfather left with my mom.

Years goes by, whatever. You know, he was a great stepfather. We get him in the union. They get him in the union. So now we start making money. So now we're not living in poverty anymore. We start to buy our own house, whatever. But I say that.

Where did I get stuck at, Ian? I think you were leading into the jail sentence or what? Yes. You did the two years? Yes, I did the two years. I can't. I couldn't tell me shit because now I go right back to union work. I'm still making great money.

Now we get a raise. I'm making $42 now. You got a prison sentence under your belt. I got a prison sentence on my bell. As a matter of fact, in my union, if you haven't been to rehab or prison, you probably shouldn't even apply. So it was normal. Yeah. Yeah, it was normal.

You know, well, normal for most, most people. And you're in your early 20s? Not nowadays, yes. Yes, very early 20s. No college, nothing. No, nothing. I went to trade school. I had the military school behind me, and I had the streets behind me, which, again,

I thank the people who I grew up with, the surroundings, the neighbors, everybody, people hated me. growing up in the neighborhood that I did because it made me who I am today. It made me be able to talk and express myself and, you know, and even prison, even prison made me a very good judge of character, you know. So anyway, so I get in trouble. I get introduced to opiates, you know. I heard the story a thousand times over and over and so of you. I get into trouble. I start doing burglaries, going to people's houses, cars, blah, blah, blah. Some of it's for smoking pot.

Some of it's for opiates. And some of it's so I can show off to chicks. Because now I'm 18 years ago. I got my license. It's suspended. So what? You know? You know, but I got a car and I got insurance and shit like this.

So I go away and I do a year and a half of four years. years again. I go to Halfley House. I do all that. I'm great and Halfley House. I go to Iva's Village in Patterson. I start working there. I graduate from there. I start working there. My mom moves two towns away from Patterson. Not so much better than living around Norke. You know, we were a town away from Norke. Now we're a town away from Patterson. Great for a recovering addict, you know. So I'm clean for a couple of years. I go back to work, back to the union, come around some old people, get back into the bullshit again.

But I'm making the money, so I don't have to do criminal shit now. Do you sell drugs at all or no? You know what? You know what? The only time that I sold drugs and I don't even want to sit. To get high for free, maybe? You know what? It was 8th, 9th, 10th, 11th grade selling pot.

Who hasn't done that? Yeah, because I lived in Bloomfield. lot of the kids, the white kids, the Italian kids, whatever, were scared to go down to Norke. And everybody was smoking pot. So they would sell nickel bags down in Newark. So I said, listen, they're dime bags. So, okay, get me five. They give me $50. I'm going to have 10 of them. And some for myself. That's all I want to do is smokebox. Now I go back. Now I beat them. They give me money for going and smoke for me. I was the shit. You couldn't tell me nothing. That was the only time I sold drugs.

So was I a drug dealer? No, I did. You were a burglar or a robber, whatever you might describe. Yeah, I was an asshole, basically. I was an asshole. Yeah. You know, regardless how you look at it. Do you think the idea of selling drugs wasn't as enthrilling or, you know, entertaining as the idea of robbing something? Like, it didn't give you that feeling? No. No. No.

I got the rush. I got rushes from so many different things, you know, from being in the military. been in military school, yelling in people's faces, sneaking in people's houses, breaking windows, going into the car, stealing a pull-out radio and a kicker box, going down to the train tracks, drinking beer and taking acid,

walking around our neighborhood like we were the shit and seeing a bunch of kids walking up and just punching somebody in the face for no reason because that was our neighborhood. And they get beat up two days later by somebody else. They, you know, so it always worked. It always worked out in somebody's favor, not mine. All right.

So you're working. You're out of rehab. You finish this couple of your jail sentence. What happens next? What happens? I detox it. I detox. I relapse again.

This is 2001. 2001, I go off to deep end. I meet a girl, I call her Valerie. She was a ride and die chick. She didn't get high, but she just loved me. She just said every chick I was with, love me. I love to, you know, I'm always faithful. I'm always true to the women I'm wet except for one.

You just ratted yourself out. It doesn't matter. That's my daughter's mother. That's okay. She knows. I was never, I was never, I never hid that. At least you're honest. I never hid that.

But you know what? The other woman I was with, I was, I was, I never cheated on her. I say I never did. So, so I, where was I at? You meet this girl. I made this girl Valerie.

So I start using. So I start using this is 2000, 2001. I'm off the hook, man. I'm off the hook. I'm toll boots. I'm doing burglaries.

I'm walking into hospitals and going downstairs at a lunchroom and walking out with the change machine, you know, on a dolly with a fake, with a fake polo shirt on it, says something stupid on it. I don't know, Gus's lawnmowing service, you know, but it looks professional. I'm walking out with change machines, and I'm boosting, I'm stealing cigarettes, I'm stealing formula, Tylen all, the whole thing, you know, the whole thing, and I'm doing everything I could. I'm begging for money. I'm, you know, I was big into the smashing grabs, throwing a brick through a window and a gas station, going aside, hitting the button on the

bottom of the, on the bottom of the cash register, which I don't mean to tell on cash register people or anybody else, but every cash register by law has to have a button that opens the till on the bottom. You pick it up, and there's a button, there's a latch, there's something, you open up, the till opens up. Take the money out. Lift it up, 50s and 100ths underneath. Then you go to the lottery. Draw. Take that out.

You take all the barbrows, Newport's, Newport 100s, and Black Miles. And you're gone in 45 seconds. That's a nice, for me, that's a nice score. She's waiting in the car, two blocks down. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, crawling through bushes and going underneath cars and going around and mask on and shit. you know, throwing hands, throwing whatever I got through the window. And by the time you long goes off, I'm on the way out. Okay, so when you do six, seven, eight of those

in a four or five town area, and it's the same M.O.? These cops aren't stupid, man. You get busted for one, you know, now they come down on you. The only thing is I stopped that. Then somebody picked up my M.O. Somebody picked up my M.O. It was right after my accident, because I was doing all this shit up until my accident.

I'm making this morning. I came in 2015, January 4, 2015. I got locked up sometime in 2002. It was right after the blackout that they had. I think that was in August, September, October, I get locked up. 2002. I don't come home until January 4, 2013. What gets you locked up?

What gets the incident? What gets me locked up is all these smashing grabs. So, okay, no, no, no, no, that's not what got me. That's not what got me a lot of time. I get locked up for a smash and grab. This is what happened originally. I didn't have a car, didn't have nothing. I'm walking down the street.

I'm in Belville, on Franklin Avenue. I'm an asshole. I look at a house that has an enclosed porch. I go to the porch. I kick the door in. This is what an asshole I am, okay? This is just, again, who I am today, who I was then, who I was in between. It doesn't matter.

This is my story. I kicked the door in. I kicked the door in. I must have got one of the beginnings of hoarders, okay? Because when I kicked this door open, there was shit everywhere, newspapers, bottles of piss, Chinese food this that ashes cat shit

cats dogs everything was all over and who's sitting on the fucking couch I gotta fix this man so I go into this doing this guy sleep on the couch what the fuck

you know he didn't wake up I kicked this fucking door and he didn't wake up so I'm like I'm already in but I'm looking around I'm like there can't be anything here. I picked the worst fucking house on Franklin Avenue.

You know? So I look in and so I go around. And I go into the kitchen. That's when I knew. I got to get the fuck out of here. I'm not even going in the bedroom. There's no jewelry. There's no boxes.

There's nothing in there. I said, I'm turning around. Start sneaking out. This fucking guy wakes up. This guy wakes up because this cat jumped off the shelf or something. It didn't make a noise. This fucking guy wakes up. He looks at me.

What are you doing? I'm sorry, wrong house. Boom, I leave. I jet and I'm running down his main road. Now, Franklin, after. Franklin, I have to. Franklin, whatever it was. And I make a left, and I go down

this dead end of street, and there's a stream. It's in Bellevon. I see a cop come. He's a captain because he comes all the way down. The guy described me down to the fucking tee. He comes, he's like,

hey, listen, we got a report of whatever. He's like, yeah, just come over here for a minute. All right. Boom, and I take off. And I run inside this little stream. It's this little brook. But when I run inside the brook, the brook is this big. But there's that much of leaves on the bottom, dead leaves.

Oh, man. I got into leaves, and I sunk all the way down up to my chest. It's all dirty, fucking black leaves. Everything that's on the bottom. I get out like that. I go through a couple yards. I get into a... a little thing where they keep weed wax and stuff, a shed.

But when I go in there, I fall asleep. I don't know how long I fall asleep for, I don't know. I get out. I come out, look around, nobody's looking, come out. It was a cul-de-sac. I start walking. As I'm walking, I see a mailman in a truck, and he just looks at me.

Next thing I know, skit, skirt, skirt, skirt, skirt, skirt. Here comes to all the cops. Lock me up. They bring the guy by to identify. me. They locked me up. You were in the line up the whole shebang? No, I was in the back of the top car. Oh, I was not. They were in the line up. It was just me. No, that was it. It was just me. So when he, when he, when he, when he drove by, I tried to cross my eyes and everything like,

it wasn't me, you know? Yeah, no, I tried to do anything, but he was like, yeah, that's him, you know, so they locked me up. This is Belvo. So I'm in Belville. Now, I'm, I'm filthy. I'm filthy. I call my mom. I said, ma'am, please bring me some new clothes and I'm going to jail, you know, but she brings me a new t-shirt. I tell her, bring me, bring me, me a gray sweat outfit and everything. So when I go into the county, I can keep it. You're allowed to keep gray sweat outfits. She brings me a new t-shirt, new boxes, new socks, new sweatpants, new sweatshirt,

no sneakers. I'm not buying new sneakers for you, poke, blah, blah, blah. She comes down to Belleville. They give it to me. Okay, so now I'm sitting in the cell, and I'm faking seizures. I'm doing everything I could. I want to get the fuck out of here, man. I want to get the fuck out of here.

So they bring me, I start complaining about whatever, they bring me to Claremoss Hospital. So they bring a cop with me. Who brings me? My brother's best friend. Is the cop. My brother's best friend is the cop.

And he's a real, he's a pretty boy. He's a cop, he's a bubble guy. You know, it's back in early 2000, pretty boy, you know, Italian dude. So we go up to the hospital and they got me chained to hear. Now the thing is with me, I would always keep a paperclip inside my sweatpants or somewhere

because everybody in Essex County, especially Essex County Sheriff, uses Smith and Weston handcuffs. Smith and Western handcuffs, you get out with a paper clip. You bend the tip a little bit. Comes right out. Double lock or nothing. This I know for a fact. Because when I would go back and forth to court, I'd have a paper clip.

And I'd be like this and the bus ride back and forth. And everybody would be like, yo, man, white boy's crazy, man. Like, hey, you want to get out? You know? Because they would only give you one hand like this, this one, this one, this one, that one, that one, you know. I would always keep a paperclip in there. So they bring me to the hospital. But they took my sneakers.

They want me to run. So now here I am, fucking socks. I got no sneakers. They bring me up to Claremontas Hospital. And I'm up there. And I'm chained at the thing. And I'm like, tell him I have seizure and everything. So here's, I forget his name, bro.

He was a duchback to that cop. No, he was. He was. He'll probably admit to it, so anyway, but he's a ladies man. So he's talking to the nurses and he's Don Juan in him and I'm like this fucking guy, man, I said, I want to, you know, I'm like, fuck out of. I got the handcuff halfway off. I'm ready to pu, I'm ready to fuck out of here, man. I know I'm going to get a high bail. This is back when he had bales in Jersey. I know I'm going to get a high bail, you know. I get the fuck out of here. I wouldn't do anything to get out of here. I don't care. So he's talking to nurses, but he's standing

right down. Just motherfucker, man, you know. So whenever they were ready, when they were ready to sign me out, he went to sign me out. I said, it's my only chance. It's my only chance. Boy, yeah, I start running. I run out the double doors. Who's outside the double doors? Two security guards at a size of fucking rocks, like the rock. Two of them. He just grabbed, just, just, just, just grabbed like I was nothing. I was 120 pounds, you They just grabbed me. Like, here comes, here comes this fucking douchebag.

Oh, you fucking did that to me, bro. I know your brother. I'm like, come my fucking ass. You know. So he didn't even say nothing about it because he would have gotten trouble. So they bring me back, they bring me back to Belleville, right? So they bring me back to Belville. So now they bring me to the county jail that night.

They bring me out to the county jail that night. That day, it's about 4.30 when I get there, quarter to five. They bring me upstairs to get a bail. Okay? by the time they do our bail, if anybody knows about Essex County, when you walk in, there's, when you walk in from the bullpen,

there's one elevator, there's another elevator, that's a dead end, and you go up that way, either one. We want to have the back one. And when you go up there and you see, and you're looking at the numbers,

it doesn't say one, two, three, four. It has arrow X, this, arrow that, arrow that, this. It's just different things. It doesn't say numbers. But I paid attention. Oh, it was fucking in there. So we go up there.

They give me a $150,000 cash bail only. See, you got to be fucking kidding. If my bail was $100, I wasn't getting out. You're a sick. Nobody was getting me out, dude. It doesn't matter if it was $2, nobody was getting me out. So we're on our way down. Again, if you've ever been in Essex County, you know.

So they go in an elevator. It's one cop. Now again, I got this paper clip on me. I'm all the handcuffed like this, one person, when the chain gang, there's 11 of us. Cuffed one hand to this one, one hand to that one, like that. It's a little bit after five. Everybody wants to go home, you know?

One cop brings us down. I'm in the middle like this. I take my cuff off, so I'm just holding on like this. So when you come from the back elevator, we walk, the cops in front of us. Okay, follow me, guys. We follow. All the way down at the end, there's a desk.

They're not looking. So as we're walking, we walk by the first elevator. I go right in there. Nobody says nothing. I'm shaking like a fucking leaf, bro. I press a button. It goes like that. I go up.

Those are the prisoner elevators. So I go up, bing, it opens up. There's two little bullpins there. I go out to the door, to the courtroom. I open it up. I hear typing. Fuck. I don't know if these people saw me leave or not yet. Okay. They didn't. They didn't for a couple of hours. Okay. You know, there's no way you get away with us in this day and age now.

No, no, of course not. No, of course not. So I get back in the elevator. I hit the button again. I go up to this. I find out it's seventh floor. I go up the seventh floor. Bing. Again, open up. There's two small things. Again, it's like court after five. I open up the, I open up the door to the, to the, to the courtroom. Nobody's there. Here I am. All gray, no sneakers, just socks. You know, I go out, I go out the front door, I go out to those things, and then I go out the door. So I don't want to take the elevator because now everybody's waiting for elevators, waiting to go downstairs. On both sides of the floor, there's emergency stairs.

Nobody's allowed to take them. I take the emergency stair. Go all the way down, sixth floor, go to try to open it. You can't open it from the emergency staircase. I go all the way down to the basement. I open the door. I open it up. What's that?

It's the fucking canteen department for the county jail. It's the canteen department. I see boxes of tops and noodles and this. Holy shit. I go back upstairs. No. Back upstairs. Second floor, it opens up.

I go onto the elevators, come down. I go downstairs. I walk out with everybody. I walk right past the guard and the metal detectors. I walk right out. out. Like Shawshank Redemption, nobody looks at your feet. I walk out. I walk from the courthouse in downtown Newark. I'm fucking bugging. I don't know if they knew I was gone. I'm sweating like a Warren church, you know. I, so I'm trying to stop at every at every cell phone, at every

pay phone, and you can still make click calls then. You're on the cell phone. I'm calling everybody. I want to call my girlfriend at the time my daughter's mother. Come pick me up. I'm going to go shave my head, and I'm going to North Carolina to my aunt's house. Nobody's answering. I'm going all the way down. I'm going all the way down downtown Newark. I try to get sneakers off the guy who's selling knock off sneakers, nothing, poppy, no, I can't. So I get down to the trolley.

I'm sitting at the trolley like this. Here comes this black lady. He's coming down. She's real decked out, all gold. I said, Ma, somebody stole my boots. I'm trying to get home. I got to get two stops on a troll. I'm going to Belva. I'm going to Newark. Borderline of Belleville.

Go to my friend's house. You know? She says, she says, I got no money. She said, I don't know any money, Pa. Follow me. I'll show you how to hop the turnstah. Fuck. All right, I follow her. We get on the trolley.

We go on the trolley. We have to go. The last stop is going to be Silver Lake. Right across the street. My friend lives. I go in there, shave my head, call my girl. Gone. They stop.

a stop before, which is right across the street from Stephen Crane Projects, borderline of Belleville and Norr. I get off there. You got to get off. I'm calling everybody, calling everybody. It's a horseshoe. On the other side is the projects and Dunkin' Donuts. Always cops there.

Always cops there. Here comes a trolley. Get off. Everybody goes. Trolley, gets off, everybody goes. I'm calling everybody, corner everybody. I don't want to go anywhere. I don't know if they know I'm gone. So another trolley comes.

I get off. I go in front of Stephen Crane, the project's products, which is old folks home. I'm walking. And I go through the projects. I said, okay, people out there sell it. You know, I'm walking through and all of a sudden, I get tackled. I get tackled by a fucking detective. I fit the description of a robbery suspect. Somebody just snatched a woman's purse right across the street at home's liquors, a Puerto Rican lady. that lives in this retirement building. I get them, I get them all. I start running. I start running across the project things.

Dude, I swear to God. As I'm running across the front of the buildings, it was like a, it was like a video game. Little kid threw his bike at me. Because I'm being chased. As I'm chasing, as I'm being chased, people that are, are hustling, people that are out there,

start chasing me because the lady was from there. Yeah, they thought you attacked the lady. Yes. So they start chasing. An old man threw a cane at me. Bro, I swear to God, there was an old, there was a bum. And I remember, because this is back then when they used to have,

like the leather emblems like this, with the, with the africon and it was different colors. Yeah. Probably even before your time. They way before, right now. Okay. You know, and I remember seeing that as I'm running, he threw his fucking beer at me.

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California farm families behind it real people real care real intention why because real matters so whether you're pouring milk melting of cheese or just grabbing one more spoonful of yogurt keep it real look for the seal Real California milk by Real California Farm Families It throws a fucking walker at me So I'm running again I got an injury on my foot I can't bend my big toe because it was fused together

But I got no sneakers on I go around the projects I'd like to meet this guy today picture fat you're a fat Albert picture fat Albert With small legs Big belly But like this 3 50

I don't know what's fucking got a track star I'm running dude I'm running and I hit a fence I think it was like a 15 foot fence that usually had the bob wire like this the cheap bobwire but there was no bobwire it was just the things like this on top I climb up there

as soon as I put my leg over this dude that's black dude again at 350 grabs my ankle like this and grabs me this dude he was that big that he was snarling he wasn't breathing I couldn't let him go.

My mouth was dry. I couldn't spit on them. I couldn't do nothing. By that time, here comes everybody. Fucking throwing bottles at me. They ripped my sweatpants off. Mind you, I still got a sweatpants on. I still got the paperclip.

I'll pay by the drawstring. They pull me down. Boop, boop, boop, pop. They beat the shit out of me, right? H.M., housing cops come. Two rookies. Put me in the back of the cop car in my boxers, sweatpants are in the trunk. My handcuff keys in there.

I was so skinny at the time I was able to put in front of me. So they go around in front of the project, so that's where it happened. Here's an ambulance facing this way, newer cop car facing this way, housing top car facing this way right in front of the newer cop car. I'm in the back of the housing cop car. They don't know. They want to keep the lights on. Do we keep it started?

What do we? They keep it started. But they left the window cracked. Okay? They left the window cracked. Put the handcuffs in front of me. I shoot them at alias. I shoot him. My middle name. My step follows last. My name's Michael Burkart. And they have no idea that you just escaped from prison either. No. No. No.

So I'm sitting there. So here's this Puerto Rico on the side right there. It's like, yeah, you try to rob somebody from around us. We fucked you up. And I'm like, this motherfucker. I'm like, you're going to get in this car. I'm gone. You know? The keys are right there. The handcuff keys on. said I'm gone.

This motherfucker's over here. Yeah, he fucked you up, boo, blah, blah. He turned around for a minute. I go like this. I hop in the front of the cop car. As soon as I hop in front of the cop car, I hear him, because both of the windows are down in the front. I hear him,

oh, yo, we try to get away, trying to get away. So as soon as I sit up, and I'm handcuffed, as soon as I sit up and I try to grab the gear shift to put it in reverse, the cop comes around. He comes in, he sneaks me. grab it, it goes in drive or low. And I hit the other cop, it was no big deal. This guy comes in

yanking me out. I'm holding on the whole knowledge of yanking me. It's fucking hit me on top of the head. He's hit me on top of the head. He wanted to break in his hand. But he pulled me on the side of the cop car. They're fucking stomping me. One of the worst ass women's I ever got in my life. So they re-handcuffed me, put me back to the cop car. I never got in trouble for that because it was their fault. They bring me down to robbery homicide. Again, my name's Eric Burkart. I'm down there. I can't even lay down in the holding cell because I got lumps all over me, man, I'm fucked up. So, detective calls me out. I go up, I talk to him. Yeah, my name's Eric Berk, I mean, Michael Burkart, but I turn around. I turn around, I walk, I hear, yo, poke. Anybody, anybody?

Everybody knows me is poke. Why do you get the nickname? I'll tell you why real quick, because when I was a baby, I was stubborn. When I was zero to six months old, I wouldn't laugh, except for my mother would poke. My stomach would go poke, poke, poke, poke, poke. So my mother has never, ever, not even kidding around, called me Eric. Just poke. Ever, ever.

Ma, do be a favor. Let me run downstairs and say, Eric, dinner's ready. No, no, no, no, not doing that. Ma, please, ma, please, ma, please. All right, go downstairs. Pout, dinner, Freddy. Like, come on, Ma. So, you know, so I hear Polk, I turn around.

I forget his name. My sister's best friend when we grew up in Newark. He's a robbery homicide detective. Polk, what happened? What the hell was his name? I forget his name. He's like, hey, what's going on? What happened?

You were doing good, blah. You know, I said, listen, man, you know, I said, listen, they're going to find out anyway. I said, but I just escaped from the county. He's like, oh, I'm not going to say that. What are they're going to find out? He's like, listen, I got 13 witnesses that said that you robbed that purse. I said, what the fuck was his name?

John LaBella, John LaBella. I said, John, come on, bro, don't hit me with the bullshit. You know, I'm handcuffed to the, you know, and handcuffs me. He don't handcuffs me. Go over there. The fucking bum. The bum. Here they are.

They want, 13 people, I'm going to say, yeah, I robbed this lady's purse. I try to snagged his lady's purse. So I get locked up for. escape, burglaries, and now a second degree strong-arm robbery. Ian,

there's two things in my life I didn't do. Everything else I did, I got a fucked up right. I got a fucked up right. I got 31 felony convictions. I did them all except for this. I didn't do that, and I didn't burn the car that fucking Michael Cochran inch, okay, when I was 13 years old fucking told on me, I still got to pay work

for you, cuck, sucker. Yeah. Yeah, I still got to paperwork for you. That's why I unfriended you. You unfriended him on Facebook? Yeah. He's friended him, man. Enged Michael God. Yeah, they fucking told on me, bro.

Listen, this, it was a Jeddah. You know, so, you know, somebody robbed it, and we were all, you know, with 13, riding around a neighborhood. He gets it, and he goes up there, and he goes, and he buys fucking gas, pours it in there, sticks his head in the door,

lights to mat, he's got blonde hair, cinges everything. They lock us up. somebody says, oh, we saw a poke running. Here he is like this. He says, oh, well, poke did it. So everyone just blaming you during this time here.

No, it's just that time. Everybody kept their mouth shut except for fucking him. So the guy at the jail tells you, hey, poke. A poke. He turns around, so he says, we got these people. So I had one to plead guilty to this. So I go down on a 10-185. But what about the other thing you were arrested for?

Ron Concurrent. So they piece together that you escape from jail? They knew that. Do you get an escape from jail charge? Listen to this. Yeah, listen to this. So they bring me back, right? They bring me back to the county jail. So I go to the county jail and internal affairs comes down. We want to know how you did it. We want to do this. I'm not telling us. First of all, I need slippers. I want something to eat. I want to smoke. You're making the demands down. Yeah, yeah. Well, we want to know. I'm not going to tell you. So they come, they come and they give me a cigarette and a court sandwich. I want a slippers. My fucking feet hurt, man. My feet hurt. Here comes the bailiff, big black dude, light skin, fucking huge. He's in the back of them. He's like, yeah, I'm going to fuck you up.

Because he was the one that brought us down from upstairs, and I ran on him. And I kept telling him, yo, I need my blood pressure medication, catapress. I just wanted to go to sleep. That shit makes you go to sleep. They give that to people who are detoxing. So it brings down your blood pressure. But when you bring your blood pressure down, it makes you go to sleep. He was like, man, we looked all around.

a court house for you you know you're gonna get me fired i'm like man fuck you and he's like yeah i'm gonna fuck you so when ia came out again they was like okay just tell us what happened i was like he told me to leave with this this dude turned it was like a cartoon man it was like steam came out his came out of his ear because i was blaming him i'm not gonna tell you i got out but i went up telling him how i got out i said i just slipped out of the fucking thing and i left but i went up blaming this cop nothing happened to him you know so i go down on a 10 one 85 for the violent crime, that's 2002. I went up doing eight and a half years.

How much time did they sentence you to? They sentenced me to 8, 10 with 85. Yeah. They sent it with 10 with 85 in 2002. So what does that mean? How does that? Eight and a half years. Eight and a half years.

Yeah, I had a denier react, which you have to do 85% of 10 years. So I did eight and a half years with three years parole. I go home in January 4th. This is, I didn't do 13 years straight. I did eight and a half, was home for three days, punch my parole officer in the face. You punch your pearl.

Why did you punch your parole officer? I had a fake piss hanging for my nuts. You got to tell this story, man. Tell us this story. It's funny. And I think my mom told on me, too. So you got home for eight and a half years in prison. Eight half years.

You know, everything's great. I'm living in Wayne, Passaic County. So I got to go down to Passake, New Jersey to go to parole. So I go down. I go down the first time. I go down there. Okay, I can do this, give me urine. I go home.

I go home, the first thing I'm thinking about, I want to do some opiates, because I've been talking to these girls talking mad shit, I'm going to crack your ass fucking shit out of you. If I go home, it's two pumps and a chump. That's it. You come on after eight and a half years

of beating off. You know, I'm just saying, you see a girl, and, you know, so I do a little bit of opiates, you know, so I can just go all night. You know, it's like, Viagra back then. He calls me back in. I'm sorry, four days later, he called me back in.

I take a bottle of pee, and I tie it to my nutsack. Because I had just gotten there. He called me just on a whim. He called me on a whim. I think my mom saw that I was using, and she called him and told him. My mom don't play that shit. I want the best for her kids, so I think she told me, whatever. So I go down there, and I have nothing else.

I have nothing else. I got a bottle of pee, I got it from somebody. It was clean. I take the drawstring out of my sweatpants, and I tied around the top of this aspirin bottle, and I tied around my nuts sack, but I tied up top of the nuts. So we go in, he's like,

oh, I'm going to need a urine or whatever. I said, all right, we walk into the thing. He says, pull your pants down. I said, huh? He said, pull your pants down. Was he watching me? because I had a freak that he exactly knows to pull your pants down.

I try to pull my pants down. I grabbed the bottle and I try to pull it. You can't you can't pull a knot like this over your nut sack. Oh you can't you can't I'm like

I can't do it so I pull my pants down and here it is this bottle of piss it's a tonne-old bottle just hanging from my nuts with a long ass string next to it because I went around my sweatpants. And I'm like, shit, man. So he violated me from that day.

And you got four more years or whatever? I had to finish the last three years. Eric, that, listen, I've recorded almost 60 episodes and I would have to say that's probably one of the craziest stories I've ever. The last two stories you've told. But the thing is, but then he charged me

as a street charge for, I forgot exactly what the charge was for fabricating a urine test. He actually gave me a street charge for. So I, I went to Maxisle and I came home in 2015, but yeah, man. So you did 13 years in prison pretty much. Yes.

I want to know the craziest story. I knew you could ask me that. Yeah, I got. Give me the craziest story because your whole life has been filled with crazy stories. Dude, dude. Give me the top one. I want to know, like, if you had to pitch this for a movie right now, what's the craziest story? I just want to cry for this, dude, man.

I was in Northern State. I was in Northern State prison in Norc. I was on A unit I was just going back 2004 2004 as a blood dude everybody on the fucking

everybody in the unit knew what was going on but him but him I forgot exactly what he was set tripping on whatever it was so me being part of a prison gang at the time you're you're keen to what's going on

listen stand point you know come out strap, blah, blah. They took this dude into the corner. Okay, this is a dude, into the corner. And there was four people standing around this dude. And they let him sleep. They were talking to him, whatever. The one dude hit him. He hit him. He went into the door and fell down. He got knocked out. He's laying on the ground. The four people took out, they didn't put the locks in the socks. People know when you put a lock in a sock

and you hit somebody, it's going to rip open, and the lock's going to go flying out. So lock in a sock you've got to tie the lock through the... And then you hit... It's not ripping it

because if you take a lock and put it in a sock and hit it against concrete one or two times, it's going to make a hole, and when you pull it back, it's going to fly out. You're fucked.

They tied them. They hit this kid in his fucking head. Okay? His eyeballs popped out. Just pop, pop. They were stonking. There was stomping on them.

Just there was no, no mercy. There was nothing. It was like it was a fucking teddy bear, dude. These dudes had no sympathy at all. And that's not the very first time. Like down the bullpen and down at no, they do that. They're good for that. Somebody's trying to save me against somebody.

They fuck you up in that back bullpen and they stomp on your fucking head. Dude, I've seen it over and over again, but that dude, his eyes popped out. That wasn't the first time I was seeing somebody's eye pop out. his eye pop out. I've seen, I've probably seen somebody's eyes pop out more than I've seen people get stabbed. And I've seen a lot of people get stabbed because it was locking socks. Come up, hit you from behind, it hit you right here. They break your sock. It just, it just comes out. Some of them come all the way out. Some come out. Wow. You know, dude, like, it's fucked up. How did you end up in a prison game? Because you're just like this burglar, white dude that's like,

was an addict. My very, my very first prison bid, I went down to a, I went down to a, I went down to a, Damn it. It's closed now. It was a youth offender. Bordentown, Bordentown. Went down to Bordentown. I went down to Bordentown. Back then, this was 1994, 1995.

There was only 5%ers, Latin Kings, nieetas, Muslims weren't a gang, but they were close in family. They fought together. Five percent of, and then the white boys. Okay, so when I went down there, I was naive.

It was first time I was locked up, you know. So I was down there with a lot of people that I knew. So I heard about this organization. It wasn't called a gang. It was called an association. You know, it was called Association Nita. And it was started to go against, to be against the corrupt administration,

the people who want to rape people, who want to extort people, you know, all that shit. I mean, of course we, you know, of course it didn't, it didn't, it didn't, it didn't matter with the chomo, or the snitches or whatever. But the main thing that attracted me to it was

it was going against corrupt administration. Now, mind you, back then, there was no cameras. They got cameras on, they got best cameras on, and DOC now in Jersey. They didn't have cameras in a unit, you know, so there was so much corrupt, corruptness with the guards.

You know, I've been in AdSleg time and time and time again. Going after these cops. These cops want to talk shit and do this and do, you know. So you're sent on a mission. You're not to send on a mission to blow up a chomo. You're sent on a mission to fucking, you know, to go take this guard and fucking just beat them up.

But you didn't get caught back then. You know, you didn't get caught. So I got attracted to that. Not only that, because I didn't want to go with the white guys. You know, it's not segregated. And this is a thing that scares me from ever getting locked up again. In feds, not to, I'm going to kill myself. I can't go there and I listen to your stories and Chad and all the people that he has and stuff.

That's fucking crazy, dude. That's crazy. You know, to be segregated like that, I fuck with everybody. This is how I grew up. I can't go to prison and not talk to a black dude, not bunk with a Puerto Rican dude. I grew up with these people, you know. So the association that I joined didn't discriminate, whites, blacks, Puerto Ricans, you know, and we ran with, we ran with the Latin kings, you know, but we were against the corrupt

inestration and the political inmates that were against inmates. that would they called them a group 27 and group 25. So you're for the people. Yeah, yeah, for the people. And as the years go on, I went home, came back, was still in it, went home, came back. And I'm true to it. I'm still true to it.

Now, I stand for what they stand for. Am I still running? I know, I'm not. Because last time I was back to prison, I went back, and they totally, it's, now it's a fucking gang gang. We were always, we were always a security threat group, but we would go after the people who would steal and rape and extort. And now people are using eyes protection to sell drugs to do the, even on the fucking street.

Come on, I'm not running with that shit, man. It's changed. And I got in the shit when I was 19 years old. I'm 48 years old. I'm almost 30 years. Yeah. You know?

How would you make money in prison? Because you didn't have anything. And I'm sure your parents weren't really supporting you. Well. So what was the hustle? See, this is, wow. The house is with drugs, bro. You were selling drugs in prison?

I was selling drugs and I was doing drugs. This is the one part that I, not that I didn't want to talk about because people, my family and close friends and stuff, they all know that I was locked up. They don't know the ends and outs. They don't know that I had somebody bringing me, you know, four grams of fucking heroin every Saturday.

Like a dirty cop. And no, no, girl. Okay. No, we didn't need that back then. We didn't, you know. How would she bring it in? Put it in a waistband, put it in a pocket, put it in her vagina, put it in her mouth, come in, hand it to me, I put it right here, sit there and enjoy the visit. We go back standing in the line.

And how much do you make? A lot. A lot. Like, see, back then, back then, bricks of heroin, there were $50, there were $10 bags, you know, but you would get. you would get $50, you would get 50 bags for $150, and you can sell three bags for $100. Do the fucking math on that. You know, I was making a lot of money.

I was also doing it because what are you doing when you're in prison and you're facing, you're facing fucking eight and a half years. You're brandy on a bid, you know? I trade it for weed. I trade it for this, I trade it for that. I just have so much of it. I didn't know what to do with it. But, of course, I was doing it.

I caught habits in there and everything. You know, and one of the girls that was bringing it, to me one time I asked her and I was sent home money all time all the time all time. I would give it to my, to my gang people and we'd all make money. He would make sure they were taken care of so we can keep bringing it in. I called him one day and I said, listen, send me $100 because I want to buy a radio that they just put on there, but I want it so I can have my name on and it can be official. I don't have it.

You don't have it. Just send you $600. What do you mean you don't have it? Come to find out this person started using and fucked up the church of money. So that put me in a predicament because there I am. Here she is picking up something from you on the street. She gets $100 and the package. She brings it in.

I bring the package in. We split it. Okay, when she gives it to me, there's only half of it now. You're expecting this. You're not getting that. even if I give it all to you because she's taking it, she's doing this, she's doing that. Oh my fucking God, dude, like this fucking chick

does not know what... How much she put my life in jeopardy? You know, I've had fucking shanks to my neck. You know, I've got fucking punched in the face, but I was always in the wrong. What the fuck when I do? Yeah, I fight back, but it's an annoying situation. Because now, not just in my getting...

beat up by my brothers or disciplined, you know, now people looking at me like, but then everybody knows what you're fucking doing because once you get in trouble, now everybody knows what you're doing. They're waiting for you to come back from visit. I never got caught. Never ever got caught with it. I never got caught with a dirty yarn. And would you believe that 13 years, I got two fights? Two fights 13 years. Why? Because they're not a fucking jail. Like Jay Williams. Really? Now, really, again, because I make moves and I do, you know, and I was, I wasn't the man. You learned how to move.

I wasn't the man, but people wanted to make money off of me. I was one of the only people that was bringing shit in at one time. You know, it was just always consistent. You know, and most of the people that wanted to bring something in, they wanted to make money off the dog food, off the drugs, because they were in other gangs that weren't allowed to do that, but they allowed to make money. They just wanted that weed.

They didn't get a fuck by none else. They wanted that weed. You know, and she smoked weed too, and she was, like, do shit is fuck, man. Like, really, I got into a lot of fucking trouble, man, but I only got into two fights, you know, voluntarily. Do you think prison creates a worse environment for crime to happen, like within the walls? 200%. 200%.

There's not a doubt in my mind, the shit that I've seen, the corruption with the cops. What would you say is the most corrupt thing you've seen with the cops? I mean, just regular everyday thing, you know, bringing in drugs, bringing in phones, just phones and drugs, man. So it's pretty common across all the board. It's basically the same thing, you know, somebody getting caught with a shank and nothing happening. And then turning around. Yeah, nothing happened to them.

You know, you know, this motherfucker has, you know, I, you know, I, I saw one cop walk out of it and it wasn't on the state. It was a, it was a can of, it was a can of coffee. And the thing would just fill with fucking cash. It was filled with cash, dude. It was filled with cash. I'm looking down there. I'm playing space.

I'm looking up, and I see the cop looking at it. I knew the dude, too. I knew how he put his money in because when I didn't have something, I would have cash on me. And I'd go buy something. And I would always see he putting inside his, his can. And I saw this cop walk out of here with a fucking can one day. And I know how to be filled with so much, you know.

I don't know. I just tried to mind my business, you know, even though I was very observant and watched what you know. Did what you had to do to make it out? Who doesn't? So you end up doing the 13 years when you get out completely? Did you get clean right away? Did you try to, did you have a new mindset where you're like, I need to fix my life? Yes. You have a daughter? That was, that was it. That was it. I got, I got locked up. My daughter was born in January 29th, 2002. I got locked up about June, July. something like that. So all that time I was locked up in her life. But my mom would bring her, my sister would bring her, the daughter's mother would bring her, I would talk to her on her phone. My mom would send me money, $100, and I would send it back to her. But I'd send it to Angelica Porsche,

you know, my daughter's name. So it looks like that I would take care of her, which my mom would have my daughter every weekend, you know, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, all summer, you know, so I did have a good relationship with my daughter, not like I wanted to, you know, and I came home. How old are you when you came home? 2015, what was I? That was eight years, seven years ago. So, 41?

Yeah. Forty-one, went back to work. My mom, we kept, we suspended my, we suspended my union book. So I didn't have to pay $90 a month. I had a base of my mom did all that for me. So when I came home, I had my union book. And I went right back to work. I was home a week, right back to work.

Went back to work. No problems with probation, anything like that? No, I was on no paper then. And you were rebuilding your relationship with your daughters? Yes, yes. Do you think coming as a father that went to prison, do you think you contributed to maybe some mental issues she could have had in her teenage years or older

because you were a father in prison? Like we hear the term like dad issues and stuff. Do you think that contributed to that? I don't, she doesn't have too many dad issues because to my understanding and from what she shows me, it's all about me, you know, it's all about that from my, my mom tells me me my sister, they're very close with her. They say, you know what, regardless if you were away and you did what you did, it's always about you.

There's something about your daughter looking up to you because you know what? Because I tried to keep that relationship open with my daughter. when she came and seen me. This is important for people, anybody who's going to go away, keep the line of communication open with your kids. At the very least, you know, at the very least, I mean, now they have J-plays, J-players

where you can email and do videos. They're not that shit. I was talking on the phone when it was $21 for 15 minutes, you know. But keep that line of communication open, man, because especially if they don't have not so well mom or dad you know it's just the little things whether it's drawn her picture or seeing her on visiting giving your utmost attention but when you come home man it's so important it was so important for me it was so important for me to make up

the time just to learn to get not not to make up the time and and do this and that here's some money here's that i'm sorry for no i wanted to know my daughter You know, but I kind of prepped her when she was coming to see me. I would talk to her about boys. I would talk to her about sex. I would talk to her about anything. Do you know what, do you know why I'm here? Do you know what's going on with Mommy?

Mommy wasn't too good at the time. Do you know this? My daughter was pretty smart, you know, and she was able to talk to me about things like that. Even today, you know, I'm a single dad. You know, we lived together. I just had a brand new baby. She's a brand new granddaughter. She's three weeks old.

You know, and I'm so happy that I kept some kind of communication open with my daughter. It's got to be hard, though, to think, you know, just that she didn't have a normal childhood. Like, the person you brought into the world did not have a normal childhood because of your actions. And you know what? 100% I take full responsibility for that, you know, because I believe if I didn't go away, my daughter would not be the woman she is today. not saying it's anything wrong with what she is but there's some characteristics of people, including myself,

that you're just like, wow, wonder if that would be different, wouldn't that be different, whether it's please and thank you or something as simple as that or being applied or having common sense or common courtesy, not saying that she does, she doesn't.

But just little things that I sit back and I'm like, wow, if I didn't go away and I sit there and tears sometimes, a lot, a lot, and I'm like, she didn't fucking deserve that. How do you find peace at that point when you're dealing with thoughts like that? I wake up every day and I'm there for her. You know, both fortunately and unfortunately, I was forced into retirement with some money.

You know, I'm okay. I try to go back to work. I can't. I can't. I'm fucked up, dude. You know, I have good days and bad days when it comes to my hip and my legs. I try to go back to doctor the work. Didn't even last an hour.

It didn't even last an hour with my tool belt on. Then I tried a couple of months ago to try to do a black top. I lasted two weeks. That was it. You know? And I'm not trying to be cocky, but I get up every day and I do what the fuck I want to do. But not in that arrogant way,

because when I get up in the morning, I find peace in myself. And I have that piece around me, whether it's my dog or my cats or my daughter coming down. say, hey, father, you want something to eat? Hey, hey, she called me father. It's no dad, you know. Hey, I don't know why.

I guess it would be funny. You know, hey, father, can I ask you a question? Hey, father this, hey, father, that. And you know what? That alone brings me peace. That my daughter could even talk to me, let alone come to me with advice, especially now with the brand new baby, you know. And I'm sure it takes a lot for her to try to rebuild the relationship with you.

You know what? We've talked about it. You know, we've talked about, we've touched base about it. We talk about everything else, but when it comes to my time away and how I fucked up, she's not stupid and I'm not stupid. We both see the same thing. And she just doesn't want to happen again. I think she's just so happy that for the last couple of years, I've just been there.

Well, you have a reason to live through her, through your grandkids. That gives you purpose. Dude, you don't know. It makes you value time more. My life is so important today, not just because I heard my grandchild, just because I look at things so much different now. You know, and again, my passion is to help. I think nothing better to do. Why not use?

I've been shot. I've been crushed. I've overdosed. I've drowned it. What else did I do? I don't know. I should not be here. Without a doubt, I should not be here.

You know? There's a reason why I'm here. And my mom says, broke, there's a reason you should be here. Use it to help people. So that's why when I got to my accident, you know, things were good. And I said, you know what, let me do what I want.

Let me do what I love. I met a guy by name of Dean Mullen down in prison. He had a sober living house. I came home. We remained friends. Got into the accident. I was coming across some money. I was in recovery.

He says, hey, I said, I want to do it. you're doing. And this dude taught me a lot, man. He's a smart motherfucker, man. He is. He, and it's hand over fist when it comes to money, you know. It wasn't my motivation because I was good at the time. I was good. I didn't need the money. I just wanted to help people. And again, that's what I rewound my life. And I thought I was going to come up to upstate New York and retire. I got a little bit of land. I got two dogs, three cats, a daughter, a girlfriend I love, family, it's good, I'm clean, you know and then I see

there's people around here that just fucking dying man come on dude it's like putting a gun to your head with two shells and a six shooter

the chances of you you know and this is the shit that I used to do and I would buy something in I would buy something and say it was there when I would buy it off

for this person I don't know from Jack and I know my tolerance is already high so I'm going to come back and I'm putting 10 bags out Who the fuck is doing 10 bags

And you don't know what you're doing My friend Nicky Ristano did one bag And he fucking died My best friend Nicky Ristano Did one bag And fucking die Became brain dead And he was died

He was my patient zero He helped me with my company And he was patient zero man He fucking relapsed man One bag He had a tolerance that he used to shoot 10, 15 bags At a wop

He sniffed one bag And it was I don't know how lucky I got. Why am I here? Why? It's got to be reason why I'm here. So now you keep mentioning an accident. What was the accident that you got into that changed your entire life? Oh, wow. That kind of derailed your plans of after you came home. Derailed my plans, put plans into action. There's so many, so many things you could definitely change my life. Yes, on April 5th, 2017, working on my job, dock building. You know, a lot of people. people don't know what a vibratory hammer is.

If you see on the side of river sometimes, you see this metal thing that kind of goes like that. And the thing that drives it into the ground is... No one could see that part on the screen. Don't worry about it. It's 8 foot by 10 foot by 18 inches, and it's 7 tons. It's a vibratory hammer.

clasp onto these metal, this metal, and it vibrates it into the ground. The metal is only that big, but it goes like that, and they lock together. It's called sheeting. So it drives it into the ground like that. So we put one into the ground. It was hanging, the hammer was hanging over us. The operator, his foot slipped off the brake or whatever. It came down.

The piece that we were working on is a 50-foot piece. We laid it in first on the one guy. cable we laid it down onto the ground locked it into the other one it locks in like this and goes down it locks in you straighten it set it on the ground and then the hammer fall then the hammer comes down and they guided on there with the big claws grabs onto it starts shaking it down well his his foot fell off the the break it fell 50 feet to the top of the sheet the sheet was 50 feet So my job after we landed it was to put a seed clamp down on the bottom. So when it does vibrate, it doesn't go like that.

It stays right there. So I got to put a piece like that. So I went to go lean down and it fell 50 feet, hit the top of the sheet. The top of the sheet buckled, hit the side of my head with my heart hat, broke two of my ribs. And when it hit me, I remember saying to myself, oh, my God. You know, it was just weird. Like, I knew it knocked me on. I saw a flash of yellow, and yellow was the color of the hammer.

I woke up 15 minutes later. I was laying on my left side with this huge hammer laying above me like it was going to come and flatten me. But instead of it, it flung all the way, it touched, it hit the piece that we just put into the ground. So it was like that. So when I woke up, FDNY was there. This was happening in Queens, New York. So when I woke up, they had four by four oak pieces, wedging this thing up. So I'm laying on my left side, not knowing it hit me in my lower back all this time.

It was laying on my, both of my calves, both of my calves. I couldn't see my feet. So I'm laying there. I didn't feel a little pressure on my legs. Not knowing I'm bleeding. It hit a major artery. I lost, yeah, I lost 61% of my blood

on the job site there. I didn't know all this. So, excuse me, man. This is, I talk about the truth and so I get a little choked up. So I'm laying there and FDNY's around and everything. So I hear him, we got to take this off of them.

There's nothing else on the job site that can pick this seven-ton thing up except for the crane. It's called a block. It's got the hook on it with the cables. It's all tangled up. I see it. There's fork lifts.

There's back hose up on the, you know, everybody came around on a big job site. You know, to see what's going on. Nothing could pick me up. I said, listen, I told the captain, I said, I said, Cap, come here. I said, listen, go get some spade shovels from right up there. We just moved the rig. I said, and dig me out. I said, do me a favor.

I just paid $499. from my red wing boots excuse me don't cut them you can cut the laces please don't cut my red wing boots off they won't they dug me out so as they were dug me out they started cut my clothes off when they cut my clothes off i started to get a little little cold again i thought it was because it was cold it's because i was losing my blood they pulled me out they put me on the on on on the the the flat piece the stretcher or not the street just a flat piece that they hold you up, you know, just a board. They carry me up this little embankment.

I'm like this. They put me on the stretcher. They put me on a stretch, and they put me in the ambulance. It was only a couple of feet. When they put the gurney in there, it didn't lock in. So, and you can see it on a news report, in Channel 7 News report, as the ambulance is driving away, it's a job site.

It's hidden like this. I'm in the back and like, ah, you know, I'm like, oh, man, you know, I'm like, so they stopped. They laid off a gurney end. I'm like, my back, my back. That's when I knew something was wrong with my back. They said, sir, you just had seven tons fall on your back. I said, my back, the last thing I remember was inserting, intervening,

whatever it was, five or 50 milliliters of fentanyl. We're going back to 2017. Fentanyl didn't even come out yet, really. You know? Fentanyl, yeah. I was out. I went out. Now, this is an important part of my experience with this.

That was April 5th. My birthday's April 10th, regardless. April 5th, 6th, 7th, and a half. Okay, my girlfriend at the time, Christine McEulio, she stayed there with me, didn't move. my friend Richie Palanco, my best friend at the time, Richie Planko comes. I'm in ICU.

Now I'm in an induced coma. Neck brace. Everything goes off. Everything. Breathing tube, everything. I don't know if anybody ever had a breathing tube down their mouth, down their throat, but they'll understand what I'm going to say in a minute.

My friend, Richie Planko comes in, tells Christine, that's time I'm going to go to the bathroom, watch him. My friend, Richie Planko comes in. Again, through this whole time, he never touches me. my friend Richard Planco is a Jesus person God bless you Rich he puts his hand over me

over my stomach okay and he starts praying I open my eye now mind you I'm in an induced coma Michael Jackson juice shit whatever it was you can't wake up I wake up

I open my eyes I scare him okay because I see him jump and I remember everything had on red and gray red grain white Yankee you know shirt whatever

Jesus Medellin and he starts and he looks at me and he gets scared and I look at him so I'm sitting here and he's like right there standing over him and you know please Jesus look over my brother Pope

help him walk again I'm not looking at Richie I'm looking past Richie come and find out after I wake up that was the door and then the nurse station was right out there and the window was here. I'm sitting there in a neck brace and everything. I'm looking past

Richie and all I see is a giant glowing orb. Okay, and this is why I know I wasn't fucked up. I wasn't nothing. This is why I know it was real when I was awake. Number one, because Richie got scared when I woke up. I saw him

a couple weeks later and I remember everything he said but I looked past him I saw a giant glowing orb. It wasn't connected to It was back in. It didn't look like anything. It just was just, didn't make any noise. It was like, woo, wool, like that. And I'm looking at it. And Richie Planko's standing over me. Please just help my brother walk again over. And all this time I'm looking at it. I know what it is. I know for a fact what it is. This is the Holy Spirit. This is my something. I start crying. I start crying. This is how real it is. Now, again, anybody who has ever had a breathing tube in there, All you want is your lips to have some kind of wetness on it. I don't give a shit what it is. They take a sponge and go like this on your lips because it gets so chapped and cracked.

All I want is that, so I'm laying there and I start crying. And my tears go down around my mouthpiece. What a nasty taste because of the tears, but so refreshing at the same time. That's when I knew it was real, and I'm looking at this thing and it's, you know, and I knew it was my Holy Spirit was. my guardian. I don't care what it was. Or Richie's still praying. He puts his hand over my head again. Never touches me.

And he's praying. He pulls his hand away. I close my eyes. I wake up on my birthday. Another two and a half days later. Okay. I didn't see Richie again until I went to Jersey. Went back to Jersey. Got released from the hospital. Twelve surgeries later. I went down to the operating room six times. Every time I went, they did two surgeries.

Ankle hip, leg hip, ankle knee, whatever it was. So it was 12 surgeries, 19 days. So I wake up on my birthday. You know, family's there, everything. So I go to the, I go to Jersey, the West Orange, whatever the name of it, the place. He says start to learn to walk again.

And that's when Richie Planko came. And I said, Rich, do you remember? He said, don't say nothing. Let me tell you. And he said, you open your eyes. You're in a common. That's when we knew, you know. And I say all that to say that,

ever since that day, things have been happening in my life that I can't explain. Okay. I just, I'm not going to start talking about it. because people gonna look at me like you're fucking liar no it just doesn't happen no okay whatever I'll keep that to myself

you know there's so many I got things on video I got things on video I call on video I'm ready to put on what's that guy's name slapped ham slap ham dude it's crazy so anyway

so since that day my life has turned around that's when okay I got into the accident from that day I was only I wasn't collecting much, you know, but still at the time I was making a lot of money, so I was making, I was bringing home $1,600 every week after taxes and wasn't working. I couldn't walk. I had to go like this down the steps, getting to a wheelchair, getting to the car, blah, blah.

So me and my girlfriend at the time, we would drive around. This is when I lived in Bloomfield still. I was living with her. Go around to Newark, go around my old stopping areas. People, that's when I would pick people up and say, hey, listen, man, you know, come with me, you want some help. I don't know how I started making all these connections. I couldn't even imagine where I started first. Dean was help.

He introduced me to a lot of people, a lot of owners of rehabs, detox that would give me free beds, you know, because I was just doing what I was doing. I didn't ask nobody for nothing. Nothing. I don't want a penny from nobody. I'm doing this because it's helping me stay clean. So I remember where I come from because I'm not a born-again Christian

or nothing like that, but I know what I saw and I know what I'm. If I keep doing good, good things are going to keep happening in my life, and that's what keeps happening. It's why I'm here. It's why I'm doing what I'm doing. It's why I'm spreading a message while I am. So I get into the accident. Things settle.

I partner up with Dean. I open up my company. I call it Resources in Recovery LLC. Okay? I never own house outright, but I partnered up with Dean. Dean is Recovery Placement Services. RPS. taught me everything.

Introduce me to people. He said your motivation and your will and what you, you know, your passion is selling. He said, you're going to be a great marketing person. I didn't even know what marketing was. I had no idea what marketing was. Marketing is like going shopping. I didn't know what marketing was. He taught me it

He showed me things You know I go to rehabs I talk to counselors Let's bring them over here You know so I learned all that But not only that Now I'm going and I'm in recovery

And I'm learning about myself I'm doing everything to do better in my life Again So So that's the part of my life That I That That really changed

that really changed. That accident changed me. And you know, it's a combination of everything you went through from childhood to prison, that whole thing, mixed with the accident. It made you a better person, everything. Everything happened exactly the way it was supposed to plan out and you came out on the other end of it. Dude, you don't understand. It was a blessing. Dude, you don't understand if I had to change one thing in my life, it would only be the amount of time that I did because I was away from my daughter.

I deserve to be away for everything that I did. I did what I did. The only two things I didn't do is burn that car and rob that lady's purse. Everything else I did. 29 felony convictions. Did them all. But also on the other token of that, if you had one minute less, maybe you wouldn't be the person you are now.

Maybe you needed every minute of that. You know what? You know what, Ian, I don't, I'm afraid. I'm afraid of the person that I would be if my life was any different. If I decided to make a left, instead of a right, if I said, if I say, my mom told me one thing, and it wasn't until 46 years later that I started listening, she just poke. T-H-I-N-K, five letters.

Just think before you act or react. So just take one second and think of the consequence. And it wasn't until a couple of years ago after the accident and I started doing that. And you know what? I, again, that's part of, I say that to say that, that's part of my life. Everybody played a part in my life.

everybody all my ex-girlfriends my girlfriend now my sister my family i wouldn't i wouldn't trade my life for nothing anything anything i'm here for a reason again i should have been dead my mom said i should have been done seven times over i said i'd be dead 11 times over that's seven what she knows you know i also got there was a drug dealer that lived next to me when i lived on charles street he was one of the biggest drug dealers in in in norark at the time He lived right next to me. You live in apartment one. I live in apartment two.

I used to live in apartment one. And you get right in with a fucking, with a butter knife. He goes out. I go in. Wow, he has the same century safe that I have. It's like this and you could just take a butter knife again

and slide it over. I pick it up, jewelry, everything. I take his heroin and his crack. His heroin has no name on it. He's the only person that has it and it's crack has silver tops i headed out to people in the neighborhood a couple days later i'm walking out of my door i could hit with a baseball bat inside of my head um they beat the shit out of me put me into a coma uh put me into a coma in front of my house um that was another time that

my mother said i should have been dead uh but again i did what i did and i deserved what i got you know Now, for anyone sitting here listening to your story, what do you want the takeaway to be? What do you want people to know from your message? Wow. Wow. What to take away from my message? You have a choice, always in life. You have a choice.

And do what my mom says. Take a minute and think. That's all you need is a minute. A second, 30 seconds. Think about the consequences If I act like this If I do that Where's it going to put me?

I'm getting put in handcuffs I'm not getting home I'm not going home You have choices in life It's just about taking a minute And thinking about what the right choice is Because for Christ's sake My story

All the stories that Ian had With the people on here All the people that you watch Come on now you think this shit is fake This isn't fake. This isn't fake. But the time that you did is not, time of what I did is not fake. Everything that you, everybody got on, it's not fake.

You think this is fake? You think all the people that's standing by you now, when you go away, where are they going to be? Where are they going to be? You know, you got to stand on your own two feet, man. You've got to make decisions that are best for you. That's the bottom line. That's the bottom line. Stop thinking of, don't make, you know, what, there's something I try to live by now.

Don't make choices based, don't make choices based on, Ego, lust, manipulation, or false pride. If I'm going to make a decision, don't make it on my ego. If I make a decision on my ego, it's going to be wrong. If I make a decision on lust, it's going to be wrong because I'm not thinking around. Manipulation is always wrong and false pride. If you make a decision based on any one of those things, it's going to be a wrong decision. And if you don't believe me, Google me.

Look at some of your, some of the last, the last couple of people you had on here. Go on, go on locked in, lockdown 23 and 1. You're my marketer now. Yeah, come on, yeah. Listen, hey, listen, but you know what? But ultimately, listen, this is what I'm trying to do.

I just got pre-approved. And again, I'm not trying to sell this, okay? But I'd be stupid if I didn't come on here and talk about the YouTube channel I just came up with. I was scared. I was scared to death to do this. But I saw all you guys doing this

and you gave me inspiration, especially when I partnered up with this guy, he gave me a house. I gave him inspiration. And I told him, listen, we can save lives. You know, his thing is money, okay? I come here to market. Listen, I started, I'm sorry,

I started this, this, this, this channel, it's called from handcuffs to handouts. Because I'm going to go back and do what I did. I'm going to go and I'm going to pick people up from the streets. And I'm going to give my hand out. I'm going to give my hand up. Okay, I still have my connections. If somebody needs help, call me.

If you have somebody that's in prison that needs to come home, they don't have a place to stay. If you've got somebody in jail, it needs to be placed. into a home or into a rehab, call me. If you have a son that's going off the deep end, a daughter, a friend, somebody who needs somebody to talk to an inspiration, call me. If you need a detox, if you need a rehab, if you need a sober living, okay,

it doesn't matter, call me, call me. This is what I love to do. So I'm starting this. I just got pre-approved for a sober living home. I want to start it. It's in Ellenville. I want to get some people in there. I want to save some lives.

I want to spread the word that, you know, life's a little bit more than running the streets, doing what you want to do, making your own calls. I mean, you know, I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I'm like, I think you said it just perfectly. You know, it's crazy. It's crazy because if you make it's crazy. because if you make these decisions on your own, man, most of the time,

look, our best thing got us to where we were. That's what I, listen, my best thing got me to what, I thought that was my, I thought that was the best thing for me. It's the way I read the streets. It's the worst times in our life. And I was the shit prison because I was doing, I was bringing in drugs. I was on the streets because I had,

I didn't have Cavarichis. I couldn't afford Cavarichie. I got Favariches or, you know. But I always, I just wanted to be somebody who I, really wasn't. You know, and so I woke up and I looked in the mirror and I said, you know what? If you can change yourself,

then you can help change some other lives. And quite frankly, I got nothing better to do today with my life. You know, but to care for my family and I'm still alive again, again, I'm still alive for a reason. I have to pass on everything that I went through. Maybe somebody can learn off of it.

Again, you know, I had 33 people that I picked up off the street. I didn't know him from a can of paint. two people are still clean today, have six years clean. Two people out of 33, I think I, you know, compared to statistics today, I think that's pretty good. I'm just saving one person. If I could save one person, dude, you know, this is just what I want to, this is what makes me happy. And think about how many people are going to listen to your story through this podcast.

I just, listen, I just want to help, man. Listen, nobody's going to be a pain in the ass. email me, text me, call me, smoke signal me. I don't give a shit, man. We'll have your information at the buyer. I'm just saying, you know, just, just, I just want to help you, man. Help me, help myself, and just help me do what I love to do, man. Give, you know.

Absolutely. Give me the reason, you know. What's that called? Just let me know I'm doing a right thing. You are. You know, let me know I'm doing a right thing, man. Call me. somebody needs help don't be embarrassed man don't be embarrassed been there done that somebody's always

always lived your story absolutely you know you're not you're not you're not you know nobody's ever the worst person in the room Eric thank you so much for coming on the show today man it's been an absolute pleasure you have a crazy crazy story dude very entertaining very emotional and um you know I'm sure the audience is really going to appreciate you sharing even the hard parts because that's what makes us human. I wish I had hours to talk about. There's a lot of things that I taught. Yeah, but that's why you're going to start the YouTube channel.

I'm trying. I'm going to try, man. I'm going to try. There's a lot of, you know, bear with me, guys. Absolutely. Eric, thank you again, man. Have a safe trip back. And thank you so much, man.