Locked In with Ian Bick - My Struggles with Alcohol – Addiction, Rock Bottom & Recovery | Josh Pertler

Episode Date: March 27, 2025

Josh Pertler, an actor, model, and musician, shares his personal battle with alcohol addiction. Despite a successful career with roles in films like "The Poker House" and "Mouthpiece," Josh faced a challenging journey to overcome his dependence on alcohol. Now celebrating over three years of sobriety, he reflects on the impact of addiction on his life and career, the turning points that led him to seek help, and his ongoing commitment to recovery. Josh's story offers hope and insight into the struggles many face with substance abuse and the possibility of a brighter future beyond addiction. #AlcoholAddiction #AddictionRecovery #SobrietyJourney #OvercomingAddiction #AlcoholAbuse #RockBottom #RecoveryIsPossible #mystory Connect with Josh Pertler: https://www.instagram.com/pertpertla/ Hosted, Executive Produced & Edited By Ian Bick: https://www.instagram.com/ian_bick/?hl=en https://ianbick.com/ Presented by Tyson 2.0 & Wooooo Energy: https://tyson20.com/ https://woooooenergy.com/ Buy Merch: https://convictclothing.net/collections/convict-clothing-x-ian-bick Timestamps: 00:00:00 From Documentary Stardom to Podcast Success 00:03:33 Early Modeling and Fashion Show Experiences 00:07:05 Adoption and New Beginnings: Joshua Perler's Story 00:11:05 Balancing Sports and Auditions 00:14:26 High School Dreams and Moving to LA 00:18:29 Journey from High School to Hollywood 00:22:15 Moving to LA: An Ambition Met with Reality 00:25:53 Journey through Addiction and Recovery in LA 00:29:56 Overcoming Difficult Beginnings and Meeting My Wife 00:33:38 Overcoming Past Struggles and Career Revival 00:37:14 Quitting Drinking and Social Challenges 00:41:11 From Sports to Acting: An Inspiring Journey 00:45:00 The Impact of Therapy on Sobriety 00:49:09 The Impact of Positive Media on Life Choices 00:52:35 Embracing Gratitude and Positivity 00:56:45 Life Changes: From Whole Foods to Finding a New Path 01:00:03 Wrapping Up and Gratitude Powered by: Just Media House : https://www.justmediahouse.com/ Creative direction, design, assets, support by FWRD: https://www.fwrd.co Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This Memorial Day, shop one of avocado's biggest mattress sales of the year and fall in love with sleep again. At avocado, better sleep starts with better materials. Our certified organic mattresses are crafted without compromise, using high-quality organic materials that bring comfort and support into perfect balance. No polyurethane foams, no shortcuts, just a cleaner, more natural sleep experience that your body will appreciate night after night. night. So you fall asleep more easily. Stay asleep longer and wake up feeling refreshed and ready for the day ahead. That's sleep with purpose. This Memorial Day, discover what it means to truly sleep well. Upgrade and save up to 20% on our award-winning mattresses. Shop the Memorial Day sale now and get up to 20% off at Avicatomattress.com or select retailers nationwide. Visit avocados.com. That's avocado mattress.com. Welcome to Lockton, man. We're at Spotify Studios in L.A. Thanks so much for coming out.

Thanks for having me. Appreciate you. Of course, we connected on Instagram. Yes, we did. You shared your story with me. It's pretty interesting. Yeah, thank you. Well, first I want to congratulate you on all the success, you know.

Thank you, man. I'm a documentary guy, so I for sure saw your episode. So it was kind of weird seeing your podcast. I don't know if I even put two and two together for a while. I was like, oh, that was you on HBO. Yeah, a lot of the OG people that, like, have followed my story. Yeah. Become locked in listeners.

But I don't really talk about my story all that much on the pod because it's guest facilitated. They're like, holy shit, you're the guy. So I get those DMs because HBO doesn't have that up anymore. I guess it's like in Europe or something, but it's not on Max right now since they merge those discover. Right, right. So everyone always asked me.

I got the private link, though. So when people ask me for it, I send it to them, which is probably illegal. I don't know. So I have that and I send it to them. But they should just put the episode back up. It's a good episode. A couple of the other people actually reach out to me. You had one of the guys on the show.

I had Syed. Did you listen to his episode? Did you watch the Kyle Sandler episode? I don't think so. I didn't have him on only because he keeps talking shit about me on TikTok. He keeps posting videos of me. But ironically, the guy Jed Lepinski, who he has a big podcast. called Gone South.

He was one of the producers of it, moved to the town next to me. We, like, rekindled our relationship because we had talked since then, and now he's helping me develop some stuff. Nice. There's good synergy, but it's crazy,

the whole HBO Max Generation Hustle. It was such a good series. Generation Hustle, that's what it was. They did so well on my episode. And then there's one on Vice, which is just a 10-minute one on YouTube. Yeah. And that's it.

But it's cool that, you know, like, it didn't blow, me up overnight and then like years went by and then I built this, you know, from the ground. Yeah, thank you for the support, man. Yeah, of course. So did you, like, stumble across the podcast and then just start listening? I don't think so. Yeah, like, it wasn't like from your episode, I went and looked you up on YouTube.

Like, it took, I think I watched you for a while before I even real. I think you spoke about it in one of the episodes. And then I was like, wait, I've definitely seen this. It had to be like five years ago or something like that. Wow. Yeah, that's incredible. Yeah. So did you grow up in California?

No, I grew up outside of Chicago in Posen, Illinois, when I was a child. And my mom, she was a single mother. She had me at 16. So it was just me, my mom, my al-a-a-a-a-a-grandpa. And Posen is like five, ten minutes outside of Chicago. So technically not Chicago, but pretty close. And yeah, it was just us for a little bit. And I don't remember this, but I know I went on my first movie audition.

I had to be like one or two probably. Oh, so you got into it. I got into it. I got into it. I got into it. Super young. You were trained to go into it. Yeah.

So my mom took me to this open call for a Hallie Berry movie called, I think, Losing Isaiah, where she plays like a young mother who has a child and I auditioned for the child. I didn't get it, you know. But I think that probably. like planted the seed of like, because it's, it's a memory I don't have, but it's like I think, you know, I think that planted the seed because a few years later I started doing like, like fashion shows, stuff like that with my mom. So she modeled, she didn't love it like, like I did, but, you know, from a young age, I think I knew, you know, I was trying to talk

my parents into moving me out to L.A., like at a young age. Did you ever ask your mom why she got you into that so young. Was she into acting? People asked her just to model for like local fashion shows, nothing like New York Fashion Week or anything like that. And she had a young kid. So, you know, they dressed me up in like a suit and, you know, like a young like, not groom, but kind of. And then like another young girl like dressed up in a dress and they just have us walking up and down the runway, put us in different clothes, you know. And I think that's what that's what got me going, you know, it was 30 years ago. Wow.

So, but nothing really happened too much then, you know, when I was about, like, I would say 10 is when I was asking, like, hey, I would like to, you know, I'd like to be on TV. And at that time, like, early 2000s, I don't know if you remember this, but like on the radio would be like, do you want to be on Disney Channel? Do you want to be on Nickelodeon? Come to the Holiday Inn Express in the banquet hall and on one. Wednesday and be on TV now. So, like, we went to one of those.

Those would be on the radio all the time. And so my mom took me to one of those, and they asked for, like, $3,000 just to, like, meet with an agent. And my mom, like, she's like, I don't know if this is, you know, I think there's a better way to do it. It seemed a little scamish, which it definitely, definitely was a scam, those, like commercials back in the day because you pay thousands of dollars to meet with someone who could possibly get you signed with an agent. My mom's like, okay. So this is before like the internet. So she went and

just looked up probably in a phone book like Chicago acting agencies and modeling agencies. And then she just took my picture and mailed it in. And, you know, one of the agencies called me in. And yeah, they didn't ask for $3,000. They asked, you know, just, all right, we want to sign you, but you have to take headshot pictures, which might have been a couple hundred, but, you know, I made that back, you know, right away. So, like, at a young, young age,

and I was playing sports as well. But, yeah, yeah. Yeah, there's so many scams out there with these types of things. And podcasts, you should never pay to go on a broadcast. Right, right. There's fake podcast.

Yeah. It's nuts. I've heard some stuff about that. Yeah, I always look at people's Instagrams or YouTube's or. right away when someone asked me to go on there, as you could tell if they're fake. And if anyone ever asks you for money to go on a pod, ridiculous. Exactly. And if anyone ever asked you for money to meet with an agent, to possibly meet an agent and be able to model and act, it is a scam.

Absolutely. There's a lot of scams out there. Did you have any relationship with your dad at all or no? My biological father, not really. He, they were young. He moved to Georgia after, I think I was three or four or something like that. So I don't have like the memories. I know it happened, but I don't have the memories of, you know, him saying he's going to come pick me up and me waiting at the window looking out, you know. It's probably a good thing I don't have the memories. I probably just, you know, pushed him to the back, you know.

But when I was seven, my mom actually got married. And so I was adopted. And so it was like getting drafted into the NBA, you know, because my last name, I was Joshua Nelson before, and then I became Joshua Pertler. And so my dad, who adopted me, who is 100% my father, you know, he, I had jerseys with Pertler on the bag. I had pencils, gym shoes. So it was like a shock because where we, the Pose in Illinois isn't like, it's not the hood.

You know, it's, now it's, it's not terrible. But when I live there, it was mostly, mostly like a, a pole. Polish community. So my mom, when they moved in in the 70s, they were one of the first, or the first brown family to move, you know, Mexican and black. So they definitely got the remember the Titans brick through the window treatment, for sure. You know, and I, so I didn't really have to deal with that. I remember one time me and my Aualita were leaving church and I think it was nighttime and these kids were chasing us, like throwing rocks at us, you know, and we're like running back home. And that's like the only

only situation like that we had to deal with. But yeah, whenever my mom got married, we moved out to the suburbs out of the Chicago land area and ended up in like cornfield, you know, middle of nowhere type of, even though it was only 25 minutes from my grandmas. But in Chicago, like, you might be in one area that's like affluent, and then you might go like a couple miles. It might be the hood.

So it's a lot of different types. of different types of communities in a small place. So, yeah, my dad moved us out. Well, first we went to like downtown Chicago. So, you know, I got to live in like a high rise growing up, learned how to swim, you know, finally. And then, yeah, had a little brother. So I have one brother who's seven years younger than me. And he actually got into, when I got into modeling, he didn't want to do it.

But he knew the benefits of it. They would, I don't want to. say they bribed him, but he knew that, okay, if I do this photo shoot, I can go get GTA two and three, you know, so he's like five, five years old knowing like, okay, if I do this, I will, you know, be able to spend, you know, some money on games or whatever. So it was, it definitely wasn't his thing. But yeah, so I was doing a lot of like Coles, Sears, J.C. Penny, T.J. Max, at like 11 years old. And my first photo shoot was for Tropicana. I think I was 10 or 11. And yeah, so that kind of, I mean, I don't know if you remember the show Smart Guy on Disney. No.

Okay. Well, it was about this young kid. He was like 10 or 11. And he was like a genius. So he was in high school. And we had the same haircut. So I used to have like the short buzz on the sides and then the curls on top. So the kids would be like, oh, you look like smart guy. And like, I just knew like I need to be on TV, you know. And I feel like when I was young, I wasn't like the best actor. Modeling, I did more modeling until I got to high school. But the nerves would get me as a kid. Like I would just freeze. I remember an audition for the Little League World Series.

I was probably 12 to play like a broadcaster. because they used to have kids broadcasting on the side of the field. They're like, all right, action. And I'm just like, and I completely freeze. And, you know, I'm just like, I don't know if this is going to work, you know, and ended up working. But yeah, yeah, it was a, it's definitely been an interesting path. What did your dad think about your acting aspirations at that time?

He was cool with it. You know, he was a sports guy. He played college football, basketball through high school. And I did as well. So I was doing baseball, football, basketball. But on top of that, I'm going to auditions. And I'm not really telling anyone about what I'm doing. Yeah, because kids were probably like, make fun of you.

Oh, 100%. I thought that everyone was going to think it was cool, you know. But then when you go to school and there's an ad of you and Coles, you know, and then the kids, like, were like, oh, he's a underwear. model. They would just say stupid things, you know, and I'm 10, 11. And obviously, kids got bullied for way worse. So it's not like a sob story, but for sure I did not tell people about it. It was the kids' parents who were the ones like giving the, because what kid is going through a catalog? No kids going through a close catalog. It was the parents that were giving it to the kids.

Yeah, I was a theater nerd all four years of high school. I did musical theater. Yes. So you get it. Yeah, Andy get your gun. You're in town. Hairspray, Footloose was my last one. I did musical theater camp growing up. But there were the athletes like yourself that would play sports, and they also had talent in musical theater. So the director or assistant director would make an exception for them to miss the first few months of rehearsals

so they could still do their sports. And then they didn't play spring sports, so they would come and do the theater and musical theater. And then that was the spring play because you practice all like six or seven months up until that spring play. Yeah. So it was really interesting to say.

You don't ever like being out in L.A. You don't ever sometimes. I mean, what I do now. Yeah. I think I'd be more like reality TV, if anything. Okay. Yeah. I always get like casting things for reality TV.

And at first, when I first started on social media, I was like hopping on everyone. I was doing the Zoom calls because I wanted to make it. I was like, oh, this is my big break. I quit my job when I first started because I thought I was getting cast in some dating. show for MTV, which didn't end up happening. And then I realized, like, now I'll never do a Zoom casting call ever. Like, if someone wants me on their show genuinely, I'm not doing it.

So it's just all, because you're just a small, you know, fish in a big pond and stuff. And it's not my thing, you know? Yeah. And I couldn't walk away from this, you know, for 30, 60 days or whatever to film. It would have to be tied into the show somehow, is what I've learned from the whole thing. Yeah. But you won't forget the theater days. No, that's a part of me, man. That's a root, you know, and kids would bully the theater people or the band people or stuff. So I know what that was, you know, first-hand. I'm sure kids still get bullied for it now.

Oh, yeah, yeah, definitely. At least, like, in Southern California, it's like, I feel like it's less bullying. More normal. Yeah, because, I mean, you have access to, there's so many studios here, there's so many different classes, you know. But where I was at, well, one, in middle school, there was no, like, brown people. You know, there just wasn't. Like, my basketball team, I was the, I was like the darkest one. Even in Chicago in that area?

I was in the suburbs. By that time, I moved to Frankfurt, Illinois, which is like from downtown, probably an hour. From actually, like, city limits, maybe like, you know, 30 minutes. But, yeah, where I was at, it was, yeah, it wasn't, it wasn't terrible. It was a great area, you know, but it was different than where I originally was. was from. Gotcha. And did you finish high school in Illinois? Yes, I did, unfortunately, because I wanted to leave.

I was trying to go to L.A. at like 14. You know, I had this other friend who I, his name was Mitch, and he lived like the next town over. He was the only other person who modeled as well that I knew. So we were friends and we were scheming, trying to figure out, okay, how do we get our parents to get up and move to L.A.? Didn't work. You know, my mom, we came out here to, they had. have those apartments that are already furnished for you, and it's all actors, and, like, the parents and the kids all in, like, one building pretty much in Burbank. And I think once my parents saw,

like, the price of everything, they were like, nah, you can, you can wait. So what happens? Do you go to college out there? No. No. What happened was in, well, when I was 16, I booked a role in a Jennifer Lawrence film. And so it was her first film, my first film as well. And I played her friend Pookie. So I had a one-on-one scene with her, and I played a single father. I was 16, but I had to look like I was like 13, you know, and I played a single father. So in the scene, she comes in to get her check.

We both work at Burger King, and she comes in to get her check and ask me about the baby, and we talk about the game real quick, and then, and then, she leaves. And so after that, you know, I shot that 2006. I think I was like 16 years old. And she wasn't the same Jennifer Lawrence that she is, you know, now or even like a couple of years after that. She was still coming up.

Yeah, I don't think she really blew up until Hunger Games. Yeah. Or Winner's Bone, she got nominated for an Oscar. And that was the film. I never saw it. I mean, that was the film she did after the poker house, which is the film that I did. And so they got all the smaller actors in the Illinois, in like Chicago, you know, like the Midwest. And so it was with Jennifer Lawrence, David Allen Greer, who was like a legendary actor, comedian.

He was on Living Color with Jim Carrey back in the day. Chloe Grace Moretz. And so it was a, it was a good cast. And so for me, I already knew. not trying to go to college, you know. And so at that time I still planned on, I wanted to go to UCLA. That didn't happen. I want to go to UCLA too. I really wanted. Yeah, that was a dream. My walls were yellow and that baby blue, you know. That was my dream. No one went to the West Coast, very few. I think I had one friend that went to Pepperdine and maybe one that went to UCLA, but no one wanted to go

there. No, I had not one friend who moved to L.A. So yeah, once the fifth, came out, I think it was 2008, so I graduated 2009. And so the timing worked out perfectly where I was enrolled to go to Columbia College in Chicago. And then with the film coming out, I had to go to LA for the LA Film Festival and, you know, different like agents coming up to me. I had David Alan Greer, which I'll never forget, he will never remember, but him shaking my hand and was telling me how, you know, how good of a job I did in the film. Because for years, like, I would see myself and I just wouldn't. Like, I don't like my voice.

I mean, now it's different. But back in the day, it was like more self-conscious. So as I'm watching myself on the big screen, I don't think it's, you know, I don't even know if my eyes were open, to be honest, you know, it was just like, you know, maybe weird. I'm nervous. I was nervous filming it. But, yeah, once that came out, it was like, we're not going to college. We're going to LA

We're going to go make this happen Do you still get residuals from that or no? No No, it was very independent I didn't get any residuals from that And I think a lot of people did it as like To get their foot in the door Yeah, to get their foot in the door

And also like a favor You know, I think a lot of favors were Happened And so no I didn't get paid a lot But I mean just the Jennifer Lauren To get a picture with her or anything I have a picture.

It's not just me and her, like, on the red carpet. Yeah, there's like four of us there. That's cool, though. Once in a lifetime experience. Oh, yeah. I mean, even like, because it's been, you know, 16 years or something like that since that came out. But I've still had, like, casting directors, like, or agents say, like, even though, like, for you're real, when you want people to see, like, what you're working on, what you can do, you want to have your real be how you look now. There are some exceptions.

That is an exception where it's like, okay, it's 16 years ago. You look 20 years younger than you are now, but just because it's with her, you know, still keep it. Keep it up, you know. Yeah. I mean, it probably helps to look young too. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

I mean, now I just, not recently, but this mustache and, you know, I was a buzz cut. I was buzz cut for years. Like when I met my wife, I was, I had no facial hair. I just, I was bald pretty much. What does she think of the long hair? This is why I have it. Oh, she's digging it. Yeah, this is why I have it, you know, grew it out.

Didn't even know I was able to do this, you know? Oh, the curls. Yeah, I got a mullet. I got a mullet, you know, so there's no complaints. Very, yeah, very grateful. But yeah, so once that movie came out, I still think I had another year of high school. coming off a knee injury, I snapped my tibia, around that same time, either like right before or right after that movie, I think after I, because I was playing high school basketball, you know, so I was really trying to do like the high school musical type of thing, you know, I'm going and dropping 12 points and then going to dance class, which I hate it, but my mom was like, you're going to, you want to do this, you want to act, you're going to be in dance class. So I'd be in basketball practice with the guys. Then I'd go, put a hoodie on, go to the dance studio,

whereas the palms or the cheerleaders girls who were some of them were in the class as well and it was just, I mean, I'm very glad that I did that and my mom made me do that, but at the time it was like... High school musical, baby. Embarrassing, my mom would make me go tanning in the winter because there's no sun, so my skin color needed to look the same as it did in my pictures.

So I'm hoodie up, trying to sneak into the tanning salon, you know, looking back, it's like, okay, who really cares? but at that time it was, you know, important. And, you know, I was a little kid. I started high school at five feet, like 90 pounds, you know, which works for modeling and acting because they want you to look, you know, younger. So even though I was like 14, I was wearing 12-year-old clothes. And so it benefited my career to look young, you know.

So, I mean, sometimes I do think, okay, if I shave, because I'll go out for, you know, I'm in my 30s, But, you know, I'll still go out for 25 sometimes, you know. But, yeah, the stash is staying, the jerry crow, and the mullah is for sure going to stay for a while until I have to cut it. So you come out to L.A. what happens? How old are you? I am 18, and I'm coming off that movie, and I'm doing great in Chicago. So obviously, I'm going to come to L.A. and I'm just going to blow up. I'm going to take over and like, that's it.

So I learned kind of quickly once I walked into my new agency and I see about 20 dudes who look exactly like me, but taller, bigger, some are tadded, some are shorter, you know, and I'm like, oh, we're not in Chicago anymore. Because Chicago isn't what it is now. Like now they have like eight shows going on there. Back then, it wasn't that much going on. Not too many people even really knew.

How do you even get into modeling? So I had the advantage, you know. I'm grateful that my parents allowed me to do it because my mom would have to take me to my auditions and whatnot. So, yeah, I get to L.A., and I realize this is going to be a little tougher. And so I end up booking a Beats by Dr. Dre commercial pretty quickly. And so I'm on Facebook telling everyone, like, you know, book this about to be in the Beats commercial.

And it was when, you know, I went from just the black headphones to they were introducing the color. So, like, they had, like, one person was yellow. And then they had, like, a BMX guy. He was blue. And I think I was red, like a basketball player. And so I'm telling everyone, I'm on set. I just met Dr. Dre. I'm telling everyone everything.

And then I'm getting ready to film. And they go, oh, Josh, you have a phone call. I'm like, what? So they hand me the phone, and my agent's like, you have to leave right now. And I'm like, no, like, I'm getting ready to film this right now. Like, no, I can't. You know, she's like, no, they, something with the contract. They agreed to pay this, but they were going to end up paying.

I'm like, I'll do it for free. She's like, well, it's our integrity. We can't, so you have to go. I'm like, okay. So I learned a valuable lesson that day, you know, don't talk about things until they actually, you know, come out. because so much can happen from the time. Like you shoot it, you know, to the time it comes out or I didn't even get to shoot it.

So that was a, it wasn't fun for me when I first got to L.A. Because at that time, think about it, my friends are going to college. So my friends are in their freshman year of college or in the workforce. And I'm, you know, in L.A., like mentally kind of struggling. And it took a while, you know. And so I would say I was here in LA 2010, but then I, you know, would go back. I'd go back and forth, you know, unstable. It took a while.

It took a while. I had to hit, had hit some low points for me to be able to, you know, to move forward. Were you working a job out here at all? No. You were just whatever gigs you had. Yeah. And the thing was, I would be. I maybe would book one photo shoot every three, four months.

So I'm like trying to live off of like this $2,500 check. And these are also the days where there's six people in a two-bedroom, you know, apartment. So we're splitting it. You know, there's a point where I'm split in a living room with another grown man, you know, paying, you know, $200 a month at the time. So I was able to, I was check to paycheck to paycheck, but a different type of paycheck. Like it might be once every few months.

And so the acting, that kind of just went out the door. The modeling was more, you know, because I, at that time is when I started to, you know, drink a little bit. I'm in L.A. I didn't really do that in high school. I was scared to because if you got caught drinking in high school, school, you would be suspended for like three, four games. So scared to do that. Then I get to LA. And then, yeah, I kind of lost my way a little bit, you know, definitely lost my way. And so, yeah, it was a struggle acting-wise. Modeling, I worked a little bit, but it took a lot of

time for me to get it together. Now, what were some of those low points you were referring to when you got out here? So I had a addiction to alcohol and there's different levels of course but I got to a point where you know I was drinking a lot and I couldn't you know go a day without drinking and so I did long story short a guy picked me up and you know I may or may not have hopped in the dry seat of his car when he went into his apartment and like you know took just drove away you stole his car i mean i borrowed it for a little bit you know what was the relationship with you to this guy he was the guy that lived in the he was the guy that lived in the the living room with me previously and so yeah he saved up for a whole like years for that car he bought it like it was just his birthday you know and i i i was one who

didn't take much for me to like black out unfortunately so i would be one where um yeah like i wasn't eating properly you know there's people who can drink responsibly drink water also eat before that wasn't it you know there's a struggle days so like if you had a dollar 70 am i going to go get a 40 am i going to go get like ramen which i needed ramen to eat at the time so yeah i had a little that was my low point for sure and I ended up thank God I did not injure anybody or injure myself I had like minor injuries but yeah it was that was like a turning point for sure that was 2016 so about nine years ago and yeah so middle of the day I guess he goes into his apartment and I think I just took it and and you had been drinking oh yeah I don't remember any of this like I fortunately unfortunately

So I do remember telling the police that I wasn't driving because I honestly didn't think I was driving. I thought he was still, I'm looking around like, you know, where is he? And yeah, he wasn't there. I took the car. I crashed it and went to jail. Where did you crash it? In the valley. Into another car.

Yeah, into another car. Yeah. And yeah, I got very, very lucky. and that was a turning point for sure. After that, I, well, it still took me a few years to completely quit drinking, but at that time when that happened, I had already gone to AA. You know, after you get a DUI, you have to go to AA, like a certain amount of time. So I had already gone, but I remember sitting in AA and listening to people speak.

You know, one guy is talking about how, you know, his mom was a part of the Manson, family and you know he's like shooting up at a young age and I'm thinking I'm not that you know I'm not that bad so I left there like okay well I'm not doing that so I could you know keep it going so I learned that I couldn't couldn't keep it going and yeah after that happened I went into acting class and that's where I first met my wife and we were at completely different places at that time I was just This is the bum years, you know. And so thank the Lord, we have made it past them. But those were the, those were like.

Those are important years. Yeah, that you cannot forget. And I tried to, I used to try to forget those years, you know, but you can't because then when you get into a place where I'm at now and I get down to myself, you have to remember, like, oh, do you not remember when you weren't sure where you were going to sleep at night sometimes or you didn't have any money for food, you know? But I remember, because I'd sit. all the way in the back of acting class, and she was in the front, like, paying attention and stuff.

I was just in the back, whatever, doing whatever. And I remember seeing, like, the car she had, she had, like, a brand-new Lexus. And I kind of remember thinking, like, that's a different, like, she's on, like, a way completely different level. She had everything together. She had professional dancers, so she traveled, you know, Asia, and she's casting people. She put money in my pocket years before we, even dated, you know, she would cast people like, not music video, but like she'd need,

like, background for something. And so she doing a million things at once. And I kind of remember being like, oh, yeah, that could never, like, that will never happen, you know, because of where I, where I was at mentally and emotionally. And so it's interesting how it works, because that was, you know, 2016, around like 20, 25 now. But yeah, so I was in acting class. and still not really, still didn't figure out where, what I needed to do, even though I knew what I needed to do, like, don't drink. But it took a few years for me to finally just like stop. And I think that if someone needs help, because the way I did it, I did it by myself.

I'd go one day. And then I'd try to make it to two days and then I'd drink and then I'd go back to zero. And keep counting. And for years, you know, I'd get to three months and then I'd mess up and go back to zero. and everything happens for a reason, but if I would have gone and gotten help, I might have, you know, been able to fix that problem faster than I did. But, you know, everything happens.

USAA knows dynamic duos can save the day, like superheroes and sidekicks or auto and home insurance. With USAA, you can bundle your auto and home and save up to 10%. Tap the banner to learn more and get a quote at usa.com slash bundle. Restrictions apply. Ready or not, summer is coming. And Wayfair's Memorial Day clearance is on now. Right now through May 25th, get up to 70% off everything home at Wayfair.

Plus, score amazing Doorbuster deals all sale long and surprise flash deals on Memorial Day. We're talking thousands of products at every style and budget. Now is the time to save big on must-habs for your patio, backyard, and beyond. These savings won't last. So don't wait. Shop Wayfair's Memorial Day clearance now through May 25th. Wayfair, every style, every home. Vince, the way it's supposed to happen, you know.

What happened with the DUI? Did you get a felony that night? No, no, I did not. Luckily. How? He knew that if he called the police, that that would be... Oh, the guy you hit? No, the guy whose car I took.

Oh. Yeah, if he would have called the police, that's automatic. That's a grand theft auto. Wait, so it was only a misdemeanor to hit someone while driving drunk out of here? Yeah, it was a parked car. Oh, you hit a park car. Yeah, the car was parked so that no one was in it, luckily. Yeah, so that happened.

Did it make the papers at all? No. It's L.A. That was probably on the law. Oh, that's not unless you're Lindsay Lohan or someone. Yeah, I mean, it's, no, no, it wasn't. And, you know, they said I was, the officer said I was really nice. You know, still probably said, yes, sir.

You know, use manners, but it was a very, very low point. And you would think that at that time, okay, I'm never going to drink again. But it took a little bit of time for me. And I for sure slowed down. But it took a while. So I only, I got a misdemeanor. Did they give you a ticket or did they hand you? Oh, I got a bunch of tickets.

Oh, yeah. I was put, I was in the cop car. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And then I kind of like came to in Van Nuys like holding center or whatever it's called. So just there for like technically a night, but it wasn't a night. What was it going through your mind at that point? Did you think you ruined your career?

What were you thinking? I was just, I didn't know what, what happened. I really didn't know, like, I couldn't really remember what happened. I was, like, I had, like, bits and pieces. Career-wise, you know, after doing that, after doing the poker house, it was like one year would go by. And it's still good, you know, I did the movie with Jennifer Lawrence, and a couple years would go by. And then, you know, by the third, fourth, fifth year, it's like, I'm in my head like, oh, this is, is this going to work? This is what I should be doing.

So career-wise, my career wasn't where it is now. But a lot of where my career is now has to do with my wife and just like lifting me up and bringing me up. Because it's no coincidence. Like I went almost a decade without doing a film. And then within a few months of me and my wife dating, I book like two films. One in Spain and then one in Atlanta. So for those years, it was very like, they were the struggle years where I was just trying to survive. So if me, like I wasn't really even thinking about my career like that at that time.

Even when I was in acting class, you know, I was there to, I was still like drinking in class. And, you know, a lot of people were. There was people who were there to do, who to work. And there's people there like, oh, this is our time to hang out. and, you know, like, yeah, it says we're supposed to be drinking whiskey in a scene. A lot of people aren't going to really drink whiskey in a scene. There's a percentage of people who are going to drink whiskey in the scene, and that was what I was doing.

So thank God I was able to finally, because I'm at five years, no alcohol now. I just hit five years. Congratulations. Thank you, which was tough. It's tough because I forget that I used to have a problem. And like I was saying before, like I have to remind myself like, okay, you were really struggling and now you're at a completely different place in your life. Sometimes I even hesitate to like post that I'm at four years, I'm at five years. But I've had people hit me up because I released a song called Van Nuys after waking up in Van Nuys.

And it's about waking up in a holding cell. And I had people hit me up like, hey, even since I'm a song. someone from our acting class said, hey, you know, I can't stop drinking. And I really appreciate you sharing your story. There's a power in that. There is. And I don't want to be that guy. Like, oh, don't drink because people can drink. Like, there's many people who can go have a couple drinks and then continue on with their day. And then there's people who will have two drinks and then, you know, have two more and two more. And the next thing you know, they wake up. Who knows, You know.

How do you deal with peer pressure of drinking out? You know, you're in L.A. That's the culture. You know, you're in the entertainment business. You know, it's got to be hard seeing everyone doing that around you, offering you a drink. I know when someone offers me a drink, it's hard to say no, you know, and I'm not even in recovery. Yeah. My life now is more boring.

I'm the married life. Like, I don't go out. We don't go out that often. We'll go out to do, like, our own thing. But I would say when I was trying to quit drinking, what was harder were my friends back in Illinois, you know, because they're the real, you know, they're the real middle of nowhere, you know, crash a car in the ditch, you know, type of drinkers. So that was probably more difficult was when I would go home because those were the people who I would, we'd throw to. down like we'd throw them back I mean not throw down we weren't really yeah and going home for the holidays and stuff oh yeah yeah you know a holiday dinners yeah now like I'll go to we'll go to

the bar or restaurant bar I could I could sit at the bar I get's not there's no peer pressure now but I've had a friend ask okay so hypothetically trying to see where I'm at because I'm never gonna drink again but hypothetically he's like all right let's say you get nominated for an Emmy okay and you win you won't have this I'm like No, I don't need... They make good mocktails now, though. Oh, yes. There's a mocktail for everything, you know?

They do have good mocktails. And I never got into the fake beer, like the Heineken 0.0s, or... Because that's like, it tastes like beer. That's what I'm trying to stay away from, you know. What was your drink of choice, and why do you think you ultimately turn to drinking? I would say Budweiser or any type of beer, modelo. In L.A., they have, like, this... package where it's like three tall boys. It was for like at seven, eight bucks. And so I would do that

like every day. I'm not sure what three tall boys equals like a six pack. I'm not sure. But yeah, I mean, that was pretty much anything like I was able to get my hands on. But that was the cheapest. And I feel like that was just a way to cope with not being where I want to be in life. and I know there are a lot of people that also struggle with that, but no one wants to admit that. Like, who wants to admit that? Like, I'm drinking because I am not happy with my life. But that's what, yeah, that's what it was. And I feel like maybe if there were, this was before there was marijuana, you know,

maybe it would have been different if whatever I had access to at the time, it was, that's what I was going to do. I was not happy with myself. I wasn't happy with where I was at, you know, because I did something that many people do. Okay, I'm going to get to L.A. In two years, I'm going to have a million dollars. In four years, I'm going to have my own show. In five years, you know, and it works for some people. It didn't work for me.

So I would put a timeline on things and realized way later. You don't have to, like, my career is now taking off in, like, my 30s, not where I expected it to be at, you know, 20, 21. So, and it's, it's, I have people I look up to, my cousin, who's older as well, he lives out here. He took me in when I first moved here, but then also kicked me out within like seven months of living with him. I just wasn't following rules, you know? So he kicked me out, and which I'm glad he did. It sent me back to Illinois.

He's like, I'm not going to be responsible for, you know, an 18-year-old kid who's not going to follow rules. So, yeah, it's been a journey. But I've realized that time doesn't matter. You might be 40. You know, I have a friend of Monica Garrett who's on Lioness on Paramount. I love Lioness. He's the big black guy. The ball with the beard.

Oh, the agent guy? The agent, like he's a notary. Five. Yeah. He's on, he's on... That's your friend? Yeah.

Dude, I love that show. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's so cool. I've known him since. He's closer to my cousin. He's bald.

Yeah, he's bald and boom. Oh, yeah. And so he's... Such a great show. It's such a motivation, too, because we were in acting class together in 2009 when I first moved here. And he was coming from sports. He was playing professional football. So he has the discipline.

He had the discipline. And, you know, he's now in his... 40s, you know. Was this his first role? No, no. He's been going at it for years. You know, he was on 1883, which is another Taylor Sheridan. It's like in the Yellowstone family.

He's got a great story too about how he blew up, man. I've been reading it. It's so inspiring. And now he's just all over. Yeah, definitely. And so it's inspiring seeing people make their dreams come true later in life. You know, because he was trying to make it. La Monica was trying to make it, you know, a decade ago or 15 years ago, and he's getting the credit that he deserves now.

And so I have to remind myself, like, it might be 10 years. You know, I don't want it. I want it to be 10 minutes. You know, I'm ready to be on a show every day now, but everything happens the way it's supposed to happen, you know. When do you think you really, you know, faced yourself and realized that you had an issue and you need to make some changes? Because that's a big task right there. you know, it takes a lot. Yeah.

You were talking about earlier how, you know, a lot of people can't face what they're struggling with. Yeah. Yeah. When? Yeah, when and what did that look like for you? And what was kind of like that trigger? Hmm. Well, I think when I first decided I was going to quit, I don't think I, in my head, I'm like it's going to be forever.

This is going to be something temporary. I'll be able to stop for a little bit and then I'll go back. And that's where the mistake happens. You know, I went four months. And then I go back to Chicago, and I'm hanging out with my best friend, you know. And I'm like, it's been four months. It's fine. You know, and then I drink, and it just becomes another spiral again.

And for me, going three or four months without drinking after drinking every day, and then having to start over was like the most terrible feeling ever. because it took so much for me to make it even just to a week without drinking. So once I made it to three months and then had to start over, I remember going, this is not, I can't go through this again because it was so hard for me to get to that point. And so after making it to three to four months and starting over again, that was it for me. I'm like, okay, I'm going to, I'm just going to, no matter what, just push. How long did it start taking you to feel better after?

quitting alcohol. Oh, five, five years, four years. So even only up to like a couple, you know, one, two years ago, I still wasn't healthy. Because even though I quit drinking, I didn't try to fix any of the issues that I had. You know, I ended up going to therapy, which that helped a lot. And I decided to, for years, like, I don't need therapy. I said no to therapy, no to therapy, no to. speaking to someone, but, you know, speaking to someone, it actually, it, it, it, I was very,

I was very sketched out at first. This kid, you know, not this kid. I'm a therapist, you know, Joe, same age as me, you know, maybe even a little younger. I'm like, who, what is this guy going to, what is, how is he going to help me? And definitely helped a lot. I don't know if you've ever been to therapy before. Yeah, of course. Yeah, of course.

Yeah, therapy is huge. Yeah, it is. And I think everyone, even if I feel like even if people feel like their life is going exactly how they want it to go to therapy real quick. Not that it's going to shake things up, but I don't think there's any. I think it's all benefits with that. What kept you on your path and not kind of falling off of it and getting back into drinking? Because I'm sure there was times, you know, that you kind of felt like, oh, let me have a drink early on. Yeah.

Yeah. there were times where like I would say to myself, I might as well just drink. And just saying that to myself was like, oh, we got, I need to like bring it back and start over. Like that's not a, that's a slippery slope. But, I mean, my wife, you know, I can't, it's not just me, you know, so I had to, and I'm still working, you know, to, we get better every day. Like the drinking, it's not going to, I'm never going to drink.

But also, you can never say never, I guess, but it's not something that even I think about. But what I do think about is, oh, you want to have a family and you want to be able to travel and see the world. Like, that's not going to happen if you are the same person you were before. So even though I don't drink anymore, you know, there's still things I got to work on and try to strengthen, you know, mentally. And I'm, I mean, life is good. I have no complaints. I'm very, very grateful. But yeah, still got to just remember, remember where you were at, you know, 10 years ago.

Absolutely. Yeah. How did she react, your wife, to you getting sober and you staying sober? How did she react to me staying sober? Well, when we first met, I was not, you know? I wasn't. And then when we started dating, I was already. a few years, not drinking.

And so it made it, I mean, she made it a lot easier, but, but yeah, like, it's a teamwork thing. It's a lot of teamwork. And I'm one that I'd never like to share feelings. So this was something that was different, like having to open up and speak about things that I don't necessarily want to speak about or fears. because like, you know, we're men, so we want to be, like, strong, you know, and being married is like, okay, well, I may not be 100% strong today. I might only be 75% or 25%. She might have to carry the other 75%. And so it's been, like, the most amazing experience ever. And like I said, like it's not a coincidence that my career and my life started to drastically, you know,

get better within a short period of time of us dating. And so, I mean, I have a, I have a song out right now called God Bless Me With You that came out like a few weeks ago and it's about my wife. I mean, I recorded that song only like, we just checked. I thought maybe it was like six months. I think it was only like two months after meeting. Yeah. You know, I recorded that song. And it took up to now for it to come out. And, you know, I feel like that's another thing because we go to church.

And so, like, when she first took me to church, which I hadn't gone in, I had never gone regularly, but, you know, the holidays, how some people would do. And she took me to our now church. And they played the song, Gratitude by Brandon Lake. And I remember I just started bawling my eyes out out of nowhere. and like I wasn't sure what was going on. And it was like an amazing, amazing experience. And I feel like, you know, we have our diet that we, like a diet that we try to eat healthy, drink water, don't drink soda.

But we also have a diet of the things that we watch and listen to. You know, if I'm watching, like, people get, you know, shot on TV or listening to songs that are like, you know, degrading women all day, like you might call someone the B word, you know? And so like I, what we, we love listening to like positive encouraging music, which I would have completely like bullied myself for saying that years ago, but we love listening to like positive Christian music, which is where it's like, it just feel good music, you know? And so what I want to do is like continue to make music where we are like uplifting people and we're like praising the people that we love and so once she took me to church and now we go every Sunday that actually like that really

changed changed a lot for me and just like the I don't know like the feeling you get when you're in there and you know singing the songs and and yeah it's yeah the married life is is good you know Are you never think about it? Oh, yeah, I want to be married, you know, one day, have kids and all that. Yeah. But I guess it's good that I'm not right now because it gives me the ability to just grind. Like, that's all I really do, you know. But it doesn't really feel like work because I'm doing what I love to do, you know.

This is my passion. This is what I do. I have purpose. You know, I'm helping people. I'm giving people a voice that wouldn't normally get a voice. Like you don't have to be famous to come on my podcast, you know. And it's just, it's just different, you know. It's a different experience.

and people have, you know, stories like yours. Like, you'll help so many people just sharing an experience because a lot of the big celebrities don't talk about that. They're not, you know, vulnerable like that, you know, and they're not relatable in that sense. Right. You know, and when you do get them to open up, then it's a different story, but a lot of them don't, you know,

and it's just so different. And they're talking about the big fancy rehabs they went to. Oh, yeah. If they did have issues, this and that. You're just a normal guy, you know, who has a life and a wife and all of these things, and you had struggles and you're talking about them, and that's inspiring to people, you know?

Ryan Reynolds here for MintMobil, the message for everyone paying big wireless way too much. Please, for the love of everything good in this world, stop. With Mint, you can get premium wireless for just $15 a month. Of course, if you enjoy overpaying, no judgments, but that's weird. Okay, one judgment. Anyway, give it a try at mintmobile.com slash switch. Up front payment of $45 for three-month plan, equivalent to $15 per month required.

Intro rate first three months only, then full price plan options available. Taxes and fees extra. Seeful terms at mintmobile.com. And that's why people listen to show. Oh, yeah. It's just normal people. Definitely. Because the story's a little different than a lot of the stories.

This is more on the Gianni side of the stories, you know. But there's also people who, like you were saying, who didn't, who had struggles, but didn't necessarily, they weren't in, you know, in jail. for years. Yeah, we have plenty of addiction type stories on the show. And, you know, that's why I went to five episodes a week because, you know, you can do a variety. Like one episode might be a law enforcement. One might be a bank robber. One might be a shot caller in prison. One might be an addict, you know, or a psychologist or whatever, or a victim. And it gives the audience to pick and choose. So they might not love the episode that's not the guts in glory, but there's plenty of others to choose from.

And then there are people that do like those types of episodes. And it gives me a break from hearing the same people talking about how they stab someone in prison, you know, or prison politics. Yeah. You know, it keeps it different. And that's what I love about the show. So it's really cool. What a life lesson do you want people to take away from people hearing what you have to say and sharing your story? To be grateful.

I mean, we really do not have, like, we are blessed to be here right now. You know, there's so many times where we're like, cursing, you know, we're cursing the Lord and we're cursing out everyone and, you know, and we just need to be more, more grateful. And because when I started to have more gratitude and not be like all in my head and, because I was a very negative person, like, I was just negative. Like I always have never anything good to say for many years. So now that I've like gotten it together a little bit, a lot of bit, and really have changed my life for the better. Yeah, gratitude.

I think I've probably said it 20 times in this interview, but I think people need to be more grateful and realize that it could be worse. Like, I mean, for me, it has been worse. And so when I'm like, when I'm getting down on myself or, oh, I didn't book this movie or a TV show or it's like, well, look at the, like, look outside. Step outside, there's mountains. I see mountains. I see palm trees.

You know, I have an amazing wife, and we both, now we book jobs together. You know, we go out on auditions together now, which is so awesome, you know? So now we just get to boom, get booked together. And it's just like, it's just a game changer, really. and so I will forever be grateful for my wife, for my manager. So when I did the movie with Jennifer Lawrence, I met my now manager. This is 18 years ago. He was also in the film.

And his story is crazy because I didn't even realize this. When he went to the red carpet, he was homeless living in a stairwell in Santa Monica 3rd Street Promenade. And you wouldn't have known, but he got picked up from the stairwell, went to the premiere. And like from then to now where he's living in a million dollar house and he's doing amazing, like his story is ridiculous because he would just, his mom would tell him, come home, come back to North Carolina. You don't need to be in L.A., you know, and he chose to sit, third street promenade. be homeless, meditate, and figured it out. And at 14, he hands me this shirt with the broccoli on it. And I'm like, what is this?

It says BC, which stands for Broccoli City, which was like a company, which is a nonprofit that he started with some other people like in college 20 years ago, you know. And fast forward to now, Broccoli City is one of the biggest music festivals on the East Coast, you know, had Future, Meg the Stallion, just a little Wayne,

like everybody. And so he, I mean, he told me this last week when I, he was like, do you not remember, like, where I came from?

And so he just was always positive. And so trying to sustain that sometimes is difficult. He's able to sustain being positive, period. And so, like,

I really, I'm really trying to, to, to learn. from him. But yeah, just gratitude and positivity because it could be a lot worse. You know what I mean? Like, I don't know if you ever go back and think about or I don't know if you go back

and think about when you were at your low or if you just like forget about it and look forward. But I think about it every day. I think about, you know, prison, how it brought me here, you know. Yeah. And it could always be worse, you know. I'm very grateful for what I have now. But it was also because of those hard times.

Yeah, I mean, because before you were the Whole Foods. Yeah, and I thought I was happy there. You know, I saw my rest of my life there, but it wasn't for me. And now I see the rest of my life doing this. And, you know, that could change. You just never know, you know. Yeah. But this is the path I'm on.

And now it's just about adjusting, setting boundaries, you know, making sure I'm doing what I need to do for me. And, you know, a lot of that is making sure. Maybe in the, you know, I think the next year I'm really taking a break from traveling, which is something I thought I wanted to do. But I'd rather just be at home in my routine and in my studio. I want to move to a big city. I don't know where that'll be yet. It's not L.A.

It was on the list, but it's off the list. It's off the list. Yeah. I can't do L.A. I can't do this time change. I can't do any of that. Yeah. Uber.

I mean, it's $100 for an Uber for us to the airport. New York City and L.A. are officially off the list. Okay. I'm close enough to New York City now in Connecticut. So I experienced New York City, but I'm not doing that. I think, you know, you know, stay in Connecticut for a little bit or Austin or Nashville. I was going to say Nashville. And I'm working on a book, so that'll probably prompt me to travel again.

I don't know. We'll see what happened. So many things can happen. I just feel something coming. I don't know what it is. Yeah. You know, things are looking up. And they change fast, too.

They do, man. Things fucking, you know, shoot up in that blink of an eye, man. Like that hell's angels interviewed the other day. just like blew me up on TikTok and it's, you know, top 12 on Spotify right now, all because of that one episode. Right. So you never know, you know, that's why you just got to keep throwing content out there. Yeah.

You never know what's going to hit. And it's always the ones you at least expect. Right. That will really pop it off. Yeah. Yeah, definitely. And I, uh, yeah, I want to, I want to always just let people know that there's, it's definitely never too late to make any dream come true.

People make their dreams come true in their 40s, 50s, 60s. I mean, wasn't there an actress? She might have been on Black Panther, but she was like 70 or something. That was like her first role. And it's like, okay, relax. A lot of people are like that. They make it big late, you know.

Yeah. They make it big late. Yeah. But I appreciate you coming on the show. It's a pleasure to meet you. It's a pleasure to meet your wife. Of course. Of course.

this episode, you know? Hopefully she didn't make you too nervous. No, she didn't make me too nervous. Maybe just a little bit, you know. She is a... Thank you guys for the gift, man. What do we got here? Listen, go ahead and open that one up.

This is a candle? Oh, you guys knew I was a candle person? No. Oh, I love candles. See, this is what happens when you got a good wife. I get teased all the time from my friends because, like, I buy candles for my apartment. Yeah, I love putting on a TV show cookie or something. Oh, we're a candle family.

Alpine Santel Take a whiff This is so cool You're the first people That brought Everyone always brings something And the candle's the first one Ooh that smells bomb

I like low-key want to have To make my own candles I haven't really said that Too much But that's something I want to I guess you're starting On candle business together Looks like we are

That's so cool Well thank you guys It's been a pleasure Of course Awesome Appreciate you