Locked In with Ian Bick - No Escape: What Happens When You Steal From The Cartel | Jared Blaine

Episode Date: January 4, 2024

Jared Blaine recounts his shocking experience stumbling into the dangerous world of working as a drug mule for the notorious cartel. Hear firsthand accounts of the violence and danger he witnessed while immersed in the cartel's operations. Discover how he managed to escape the clutches of this criminal organization and turn his life around before the long arm of the law caught up with him. It's a riveting tale of redemption and survival that you won't want to miss on today's episode. Join this channel to get early access to new episodes & Behind the Scenes Content: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRvVklIft6DMelVW18M0oBw/join Follow Ian Bick on Instagram: @ian_bick & Snapchat: ianbick Connect with Jared Blaine: theblaklistpodcast.com FB: facebook.com/iamjaredblaine Buy Merch: https://lockedinbrand.com Use code lockedin at checkout to get 20% off your order Chapters: 00:00:00 - Intro 00:02:43 - Childhood 00:05:32 - Introduction to the life 00:08:07 - The Early Years and Hidden issues 00:10:49 - Genetic Predisposition 00:13:32 - Getting involved with the cartel 00:16:15 - Crossing the Border to Pick Up product 00:18:49 - The Consequences of Breaking the Rules 00:21:29 - Masking the Pain 00:24:02 - The Lucky One 00:26:36 - From a Regular Job to Smuggling Drugs 00:31:32 - My Life as a Junkie 00:34:20 - The Consequences of Betrayal 00:36:55 - The Scariest Moment of My Life 00:39:49 - Rebuilding 00:42:36 - Starting Over in Texas 00:45:15 - The Fear of Relapse and Finding Purpose in the Blacklist Podcast 00:47:59 - The Journey of the Podcast 00:50:36 - The Drive to Keep Going 00:53:05 - The Power of Holding On Connect with Ian Bick: https://www.ianbick.com Powered by Creative Evolution Studios https://creativeevolutionstudios.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I go in there and there I see is a mutual friend of ours who I did plenty of runs with. Hog tied to the towel rack. Pistol whipped with the gash on his head with four guns pointed to him. He tried to steal. He went into their safe and tried to steal some of the product. They, of course, found it, found out. And they hog tied him with the towel to the towel rack. He's just sitting there like this.

I looked over at him and I was like, bro, what the hell? Why would you do that? Of course he got borrowed out and blacked out, so he didn't know what he was doing. That was his fault. Welcome to our first official episode of 2024. We have Jared Blaine, who's recounting a shocking experience, stumbling into the dangerous world of working as a drug mule for the notorious cartel. Here firsthand of the violence and danger he witnessed while immersed in the cartel's operations,

discover how he managed to escape the clutches of this criminal organization, and turn his life around before the long arm of the law caught up with him. It's a riveting tale of redemption and survival that you won't want to miss on today's episode. I hope you all had a wonderful holiday season and New Year's. I am so grateful for all of you, and I thank each and every one of you who tunes into the show, shares the show with friends, and posts about the show online on social media. Because of you, we are consistently a top 200 podcast in the world. And guess what, everyone?

starting February 1st, we'll be releasing three episodes a week on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Sundays at 7 p.m. Eastern Time. I've been seeing all the interview requests come in, and there's so many people that want to come on and share their story that it only makes sense to step it up a notch in 2024 and go to three episodes a week. That's all I got for you. I hope you sit back, relax, and get ready to lock in with Jared Blaine. Jared, welcome to Locked In, man. You had quite the journey to get here today. Yep, yep. I mean, attempt number two. I was to say this is the second attempt, man. So I appreciate the opportunity.

Absolutely. Well, second time's the charm, right? Well, technically third time's the charm. But you did it in two. Yeah, I didn't want to make it any more than that. So where are you coming from? So we are coming from Western New York. So just east of Buffalo.

So that's up near like Rochester and whatnot. Yep, yep. South of Rochester, east of Buffalo. So my mom's side of the family lives in Rochester. Yeah. So I know what that's true. drives like, do you guys drive back today too? Yeah, as soon as we're done with this, it's a five-hour drive back.

Back on the road. But listen, man, it's all worth it. So just the opportunity to make it happen. As you get older, you realize like five hours isn't too bad at driving. Like, when I drive up and back to the city, like, that's three right there. And it doesn't really feel too bad or anything. Right. Yeah.

I know when I was younger, I was like, damn, five, six hours. Like, that's all day. And now I'm like, that's actually nothing. So you have a pretty crazy story. but you didn't actually go to prison. You were one of the lucky ones that come on the show that lived like a crazy lifestyle, but never end up in prison.

You kind of like put the life behind you before it ever gets to that point. Right. Take us from the top, man. Like where did you grow up? Where are you from? And what's like childhood like for you? Yeah. So from Phoenix, Arizona, you know, I'm half Hispanic.

So I lived, you know, living close to the border of Mexico. we travel to Mexico a lot and whatnot. And so basically I spent my time between Mexico and Phoenix. And growing up was pretty interesting. My mom was 15 when she had me, so she was pretty young. And she wasn't obviously ready to be a parent yet. So my grandmother took me in for a little bit, tried to raise me. And then I bounced back and forth between my mom and my grandma for some years.

But childhood was just from the longest that I, I can remember, I had always seen, like, trafficking, just drug running for as long as I can remember. Unfortunately, you know, my cousins were in it. My family was in it. So it was normal for me to see. And so I kind of just grew up with that mindset of this is normal. But I didn't really get into like, you know, I think I was eight years old when I took my first shot

of liquor. And then I was 13 when I watched my stepfather pass away in front of me. unfortunately and that kind of led me in the wrong direction. That was about the point where I was like, I started just smoking weed. I started drinking, kind of doing whatever. And then I really just, I didn't start using, I broke a bunch of bones in motorcycle accident when I was 16.

And that's like when I first started experimenting with oxy and fentanyl and whatnot. And that right there was kind of like the start of my crazy life because before that it was just smoking weed, just drinking, having some fun. And then basically I took it as prescribed. And then, of course, you take it for so many years, then you get addicted to it. And then you start having to just start going to different sources for it. But before I get to that part, you know, I became a dad very young. I was 19 years old when I had my first kid.

And I got married at 19. And from there, I was sober a couple years on and off. and then I got hurt at work again in my mid-20s took me right back to the life and that's kind of like where where we started at was just mind you my family was in it and I ran out of scripts and I had to start buying off the street and when I ran out

I you know my cousin introduced me to a couple people and I would just go there and just be like hey let me go ahead and let me get a couple 30s off of you and then he ended up handed me a cell phone one day and was like, call me directly. You don't need to go through so on cell and sell. Just call me directly. And so I did,

but I remember the first time I met these people. My family member took me over to, I'm not going to say who it is, but my family member took me over to the house and knocked on the door and he walked in. And when I walked in, I immediately got pulled in, slammed against the wall. And there was AK-47 and two pistols pointed at me

because he didn't tell them that he was bringing anybody with him. And of course, you know, those types of trap houses and whatnot. Everybody's paranoid. They're always watching out the windows. And I was, it freaked me out, but I was like, whoa, like, what the hell is going on here? And so, and they were just like, yeah, he didn't say he didn't say he was bringing anybody. So because I was able to handle that situation, I was kind of cool with them. But they handed me the phone and they told me, you come to me directly at this point.

And that's kind of what started my whole journey with being, you know, making money. trafficking and whatnot. It was insane, to be honest with you, like how I even got into it because I look like a white guy. I'm half and half. Look like a white guy, but I speak Spanish and I'm able to, I was able to go down to Mexico and just be able to, cops didn't think nothing about it, border patrol didn't think nothing about it, but little did they know what kind of shit I was doing. But you're also like a junkie. So how do you progress from like a junkie, you know, addict to someone that's actually moving weight and it's business minded and is able to do that? Because I was a, I don't think I was like in actual, like that far gone at that point.

I was a, I had a full-time job. I was able to go to work every day and use. I was a functioning addict. Of course, I couldn't function without using, but I was a functioning addict. So I wasn't like one of those where I was like half, like I was fiend and stealing and robbing people at that time. Of course, at that time. It didn't progress until after I got linked up with them. So when I got linked up with them, it was more.

It was just a standard. Yeah, I took pills. and that's just what it was. I wasn't like I was actually I was addicted to them but I wasn't like a full-blown junkie at that time. And had you been arrested or anything at this point? Ever.

So besides from like a traumatic you know, childhood, your life was just like it wasn't crime really. You weren't a criminal in any sense. Not, nope, not until not until my late 20s at that point.

So I never had to run in with the cops beforehand. I never, I don't know how. Because even then, like, you know, I'd sell weed, you know, sell some pills, stuff like that. But it was nothing compared to, like, what I would actually get myself into. And how was your marriage and being a dad when you were using? So, yeah, I was married 12 years.

I have three kids by the same woman. And I love my kids to death. And my wife at the time was completely, I believe it. She knew absolutely nothing. She didn't know anything about my addiction. She didn't know anything. about what I was doing. So, again, I was able to manage it because I wasn't full blown off the rocker at that time.

So my marriage was okay, but of course we only got married because we had kids. That was really the only reason. And then we stayed together because we had kids. So how are you able to hide that from your wife? She was, that woman was just, she was so oblivious to it. Really? And even your family? and anything or did you not really have much of a relationship with them?

So I was close with my family. So my mom, my mom was an addict on and off. So I would just, my mom was the only person that knew that I was using pills because she would buy off of me and I'd buy off of her. So my mother was the only one. Now, nobody else, my grandmother, my siblings,

nobody else ever knew about it whatsoever. But of course, you know, being that my mom was, and then my mom ended up using heroin after and that's kind of like where everything started turning for her. But when she, I got clean shortly after she got clean, but that was the lifestyle that she lived and she would go and she'd sell her scripts to me. And then I would buy them and then I would sell them to other people. And that's just the way that I was able to like still feed my habit,

but make some money on the side. And I was making really good money at work. It wasn't like I was making jump change. I was making really good money. So I could afford to be able to go and buy, three to $500 a day easily for my habit, which is what I was roughly spending. Do you think if anyone noticed and tried to help you, you would have accepted that help? And maybe you wouldn't have kind of traveled down into like the depths that you would?

Probably. I mean, I can't say for sure, to be honest with you, but probably, yeah, just because the way that I grew up, that's what I saw. I saw my cousin strung out on heroin and meth. and I saw my mom using, you know, pills and going from there. So it was like a normal thing for me, but I didn't really think that it had an issue at that point just because I had a job and I go to work and I was a husband and I was a dad and everything. Do you feel like I kind of got passed down to you biologically? Yeah, I think so because I grew up with that, my father.

My father was absent, my whole entire life. My stepfather, he's the one, he's been in my life since I was 14. he's the one that's taught me everything to drive, how to use tools, whatever you name it, he's taught me. But I grew up with that, my father, and I met my father for the first time two years ago. And when I met him

and we finally started talking, our bloodline is just, dude, we're screwed. I mean, my mom's, we're addicts on my mom's side, we're addicts on my dad's side, so I truly think that it's genetic. And I'll be honest with you. That's why I'm afraid for my kids. I'll be straight up with you. I'm terrified

from my kids because I know what it's like to pass down with generations. And I'm, I just, the only thing I do is pray to God that my kids see, my kids know, they know my whole past, they know everything about it. They've seen it. I've been open with them because I don't want them to do the same crap that I did, be honest with you. Do you put blame on your, on your mom at all?

I don't, maybe in the beginning, in the beginning I did, but then the older I got and then more that I realized, like, it was my choice. It was my choice to use. It was my choice to run drugs. It was my choice to do all that. Now, did my mom help? No, she didn't help the process because, you know, if I, hey, I need a 30. Oh, yeah, here you go.

But if she probably would have been more like, no, I'm not going to give you this. Stick to smoking weed. My mom wouldn't even smoke weed with me. So I don't know how she went from not wanting to smoke weed in me to give me pills. And then if she was dope six, she'd ask me for them and whatnot. But if she probably would have been told. me like, hey, you know what, don't do this, I probably would have not gone down at least as much as I did.

Yeah. All right. So let's get in the drug running then. Exactly how old were you? And what was like that first conversation like where you full on committed to doing the drug running? So I was 27. And again, I'd been going through these people just to buy them.

And they handed me the phone and they say, listen. you know, come to me directly, I'll hook you up. And, of course, they knew I re-uped every day. So every single day they'd call me or text to me, but like, hey, I got you. I got your re-ups. So when you're ready, just come pick up. And I was at the point where I did front me all the time. Of course, I'd pay it back by the end of the day, the next day, worst case scenario.

So I was always good for it. But I remember going to the house one day, and they took me into the back in the bathroom and laid out on the bathroom counter was heroin, math, crag, coke, you name it. It was there. And he was like, you want any of this? And I'm like, no. Like, I didn't, I never, I never messed with uppers. Like, I was never, I never did meth or, or, or, um, anything like that.

I couldn't do that. It, too much anxiety for me. So I was like, no, I'm good. I'm good. And at that point, I never even mess with heroin. Like, I never touched heroin. It was always fentanyl or, or, um, which fentanyl. That's not that it needs better anyways.

But it was either fentanyl or it was oxy. And so I never, and I was like, no, I'm good. They're like, okay, well, you want to make some money? I'm like doing what? Go down to the border. You know, you'll meet at this certain place. You'll pick up a car, bring it back. Like, okay, how much?

10 grand. Say less. Because my sister had done it before and my brother had done it before. So I was used to it. And I was like, okay, so I did it. 10 grand, the easiest 10,000 I ever made. It's four hours to the border, you know, three to four hours, depending on where you're going. So, you know, I could go down, drive eight hours, and I'm make 10 grand.

I'm like, cool, I got it. And that's basically, so then it came to the next. Hey, you want to do another one? Yeah, you want to do another one? And that's just the way that it progressed. And at that point, I was only just picking up and bringing it back. Now, mind you, because I spoke Spanish and I was able to, we were running for certain members of, the cartel. I was never a member. I was never this of that. I never claimed any of that.

But I was heavily evolved in the trafficking and the running and I was dealing with them on a daily basis. We're almost halfway through the year and a lot of people are running on empty without fully realizing it. Grow therapy helps you find care that's covered by insurance before burnout becomes the baseline. Whether it's your first time in therapy or your 50th, grow makes it easier to find a therapist who fits you, not the other way around. They connect you with thousands of independent licensed therapists across the U.S., offering both virtual and in-person sessions, nights and weekends. You can search by what matters like insurance, specialty, identity, or availability, and get started in as little as two days. And if something comes up, you can cancel up to 24 hours in advance at no cost.

There are no subscriptions, no long-term commitments, you just pay per session. Grow helps you find therapy on your time. Whatever challenges you're facing, Grow Therapy is here to help. Grow accepts over 100 insurance plans, including Medicaid in some states. Sessions average about $21 with insurance, and some pay as little as $0 depending on their plan. Visit growth therapy.com slash book now to get started. That's growth therapy.com slash book now. Growtherapy.com slash book now.

Availability and coverage vary by state and insurance plan. So were you working for the cartel directly or is it like some other gang or group of dealers in the U.S. and they're buying from the cartel? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So now part of them were part of. So the dealers I was dealing with, they were part of the cartel. So it wasn't, but they were in the states based.

So they weren't based in Mexico or nothing. So they were, I guess you could say yes and no. Like it wasn't like I was going down dealing. I was going down into the head of the cartel and buying from. but I would be getting my orders from members of the cartel on the U.S. side, and then they would send me down. Is it customary to just hire people like you, I guess? Like, they knew you were at Attic or a user, you know? Like, I feel like they'd be smarter than to hire someone like you.

Mind you, they knew I was, but they didn't know how, they didn't know. I presented myself in a professional manner. I never once presented myself to them, like, strung out junkie, you know, I'm over there, scrap. I'm not doing any of that. So I've always been a very business person. Everything I've done in my life. I've tried to have own multiple businesses. I try to have a business mindset.

So that was just the way that I looked at it. It was another way to go and make money from a business side. All right. So walk us through from the time you get the call that you have to go over there, like everything, the pick up, the drop off, your feelings, your emotions, what it's like, and then crossing the border, meeting them over there, everything. So, of course, you know, you're going to have some form of anxiety, especially you're doing something like that. So you've got the four-hour drive down there and your heart's just racing and you're just like, shit, am I really doing this?

Am I really doing this? But then I realize, like, I'm an addict. So I'm going to do whatever I need to do to feed my habit. Anyways, you go down, we meet at a hotel. Generally, you go to a motel. You drive another car down there. They have a car waiting for you to bring back. So you go down there, you go to this motel, and you stay there, and you can be anywhere from 30 minutes to like three or four hours.

It all depends on how long it takes them to pack that car out. You don't ever see that. You don't see them doing that. You don't see any of that. Even when you bring it back at that in the beginning, you don't see any of the drugs whatsoever. Of course, you know, they got that shit hidden everywhere. So you don't see any of that. And then they tell you, okay, it's ready.

you get in, drive back from the border, when you go to the border, of course, Border Patrol, U.S. citizen, yes. Where are you coming from? People go down to Mexico all the time to, like, buy antibiotics and different things. Oh, yeah, came down here, had a tooth infection, had it got buy antibiotics. As long as nothing looks out of ordinary, you're good. And so then they just just cross right away. So, of course, you're sitting there the first time I'm sitting there ready to cross.

I'm like sweating bullets. and I'm like, oh my gosh, like, what happens if I get caught? I'm going, I'm definitely going to prison because, you know, and you don't know how much you're bringing back at that time. You just know you're going down, picking a car up, coming back. So, and then what they do is they have a person who drives ahead of you that's scouts. They look for cops. They look for everything.

They're always several miles ahead of you just to make sure. And they're the ones that are always supposed to make sure. Nine times that's 10, you see people get pulled over on the side of the road and get busted. two things, one of two things either. A, their watch out wasn't, wasn't paying attention and didn't alert you that there's cops up ahead or B, you're doing some stupid thing like breaking the rules. Like, why would you do that? Why, you know, or somebody set you up to be the fall guy and they, and basically they called it in because that does happen. They might pay somebody to go down to get paid to get caught.

So when they're on the side of the road, you got a semi-truck full of drugs that are just going to drive by. happens all the time. And there's no dogs or anything at the border crossing or anything? Not then. Of course, things have evolved since then. And what kind of drugs are you bringing? Wouldn't the car smell of weed or anything like that? So what I was bringing was fentanyl.

It was fentany. Yeah, it was the blue M30s, which ironically was the stuff I was on. What year was this? I'm 34 right now. So it's seven years ago. I'm bad at math. Was this like the start of fentanyl coming into the country? Yeah, and to be honest, it was new for me.

I'm not sure to be to then. It was new for me. But this was seven years ago, so we're in 22 to 1. So 2016. Knowing what you know now and what the world knows now about fentanyl and how it's killing people, how does that make you feel that you're bringing it in? Like a piece of crap, to be honest with you? You know how many people I've had die off of that?

personally how many people I know, how many times I should have, and I didn't. You know, I've had, I've had, I've had, I've had, I've had, I've had, I've had, EMPs tell me, one day you're going to, you're going to snort a pill, you're going to go to sleep, and you're never going to wake up again. And that wasn't enough for me to stop. It really wasn't. My kids wasn't enough. My wife at the time wasn't enough.

But I didn't really know how bad fentanyl was. I really didn't. Now what I know now being an advocate for, you know, being five, you're sober, different things like that. It's almost like, wow. Like, I can't believe that I even did that. But I didn't know. I mean, I was still a young guy.

I just wanted to make some money. Yeah. What do you think was the drive for you to continue to do drugs, to be consumed by that? And also keep risking, I guess you could say your freedom going back and forth. I mean, the drive, the drive is, was why, you go, back to why we start using to begin with, which is to mask your emotions, which is to mask the pain, the trauma that you've experienced. I really didn't touch all my childhood much, but I was sexually

molested. I was abused physically and sexually abused. I was introduced to pornography at a young age that I didn't want to. You know, I was all that. I watched my stepfather fall 200 feet off a cliff right in front of me. I literally watched him fall to his death. So you start using to mask all that. And to answer the question as far as like to risk the freedom is because at this point you're able to make unlimited amount of money that you want to feed your habit and you're bringing them across to the states the same crap that you're using. So it was almost like a no brainer for me at that time was make the money and I get to break off some of what I'm bringing across. How much do you think you made total running back and forth and how many trips do you think you did?

So I did probably in like a two-year period. I probably did like 15 trips, to be honest with you. And they were 10 grand a trip. 10 grand every time. Every time. So how does that transaction look? Do they pay you up front or do they pay you after? After.

Because they want to make sure you get, they want to make sure that they get their stuff. So you drop off the stuff at whatever location and then they give you an envelope with 10 grand. Yeah. So for me, I would take it back to the house that I'm very familiar with. I take it to them. They go, they look good, and make sure everything. everything's good, 10 grand, here you go. And I remember I had like 30 grand at one point. And of course, you know, they say when you make all this money, don't be, don't go out

and be stupid and spend it all on everything because they're going to start catching attention. Man, I went out and I bought like a truck, a car, a quad, a motorcycle. Like I was doing, I was like, 30 grand. I go to Home Depot, spend two grand on tools, just different things like that. You know, and the next thing you know, like when I got deep down into my, when I was losing everything because I ended up being on the other end of, I was very respected making money to where I owed money to them, where I got into debt. I was signing titles over to them.

You know, they come, here's the title to my motorcycle, here you go, because I let my habit feed me at that point. So, and that was the point. It just destroyed me. And so I was like, how the hell did I go from making $10,000 a trip to bring in this, to here you go. They call me every day. We got your re-up to where.

Now, I'm in the hole with them. I owe them money. They're breaking into my house. They're ransacking my house looking for money, this, that, and the third. Because I owe them. And I ended up, I paid all my debts off. I did what I had to do to pay everything off. And then when I got over, I moved a thousand miles away to Texas from Arizona.

I started over and nothing, no phone, no this, and all that. I went and started over. And, of course, that was the start of it. But how did I not get cops? I have no clue, man. I really don't understand. How do I just, I don't, I don't, I'm mind-blown. I tell that every day, people that I have on my podcast that we talk to and they're like, you know, yeah, I did the same thing.

And I spent, you know, 10 years, 15 years, 20 years. And I'm like, why was I luck, like, why was I the lucky one, to be honest at that? That's what I think every single day. I'm grateful and I'm blessed, but why? Yeah, I've met guys that do it just once. And they get, they get caught and they're fucked. Yeah. And I don't know if maybe it was just because I was,

is it because I look white? Like, what is it? Like, I always made sure I wasn't sloppy with it. That's the other thing. Don't speed. Don't, you know, not use turn signals. Don't have broken headlights and tell lights. Like, that's a common thing.

I watch YouTube videos all day long, dash cam videos of people getting pulled over trafficking. And I'm like, dude, you're a dumbass. Like, why would you do that? Like, literally, like, you know you're trafficking that much. Why would you do that? Did you have any, like, really close call? at all that you were like, fuck, I'm caught?

No, there really wasn't. The only one that I ever had was I stopped. I met up, I linked up with somebody. I transferred over to them. And then we left. And like two minutes later, they ended up getting pulled over. If it was two minutes sooner, that could have been me. How the hell did that not happen?

So I always made sure. And I always had people watch for me all the time. Like, of course, I'm paranoid. So, and that's what I'm saying that goes back to when you're running, you've got somebody ahead of you and they're always watching. Always, there's Highway Patrol. They call them. Of course, now Highway Patrol, they have those little infrared scanners. So if you have stuff in your trunk or whatnot or they can actually see that.

So what would you have called yourself like a drug smuggler for the cartel? Just a meal. Just a mule. A meal. Why do they call it a mule? I don't know. Because a donkey, okay, actually, this is the only thing I can think of. Because you're a donkey is a mule.

And, of course, a donkey is used to transport people and whatnot. And maybe, you know, you're putting belongings on a donkey, taking him, he's walking it from one into another. So that's the only thing that I can think of as a meal. That's why they call it a meal. Yeah. But a mulele smuggler, pretty much the same thing. Yeah.

So were you working a regular job when you were still doing these trips? Yeah. Yeah. So I've been in the service field my whole life. I've been in the fire and safety industry as a pipe fitter. And so I used to make, and that's the other thing. I don't know why I did that because I used to make some really good money. I'd make like 30 plus an hour making really good money.

But I was just because you got to have it. Because I got to have it, yeah. And so I did. I worked a regular job. And normally there's runs. It'd be like on a weekend. Go down on a Saturday morning. Come back.

You be back by Saturday night. And your wife's not asking you where are you disappeared to all day on the weekend? I had to go out of town for work. That's what it was. Or when I came home with it like a vehicle or I came home with a motorcycle or something or quad, she'd be like, where did this come from? And I would be like, oh, I got a bonus at work. Do you think a part of you wanted to get caught just to like get you away from your habit at all from your addiction?

No, probably not because I didn't. I don't think I was known because I wasn't ready to stop. I really wasn't. And I knew if I got caught, then I would be forced to stop and I wasn't ready to stop. you know but there was a point where I had transitioned from just just bringing it over to where at that point where then I was now going out and I was selling it so you were selling the product after after a few months of just transporting it you know then I went back and I was like okay because it's just it's extra money you go out and they need somebody they're like hey oh you know can you run down

to the corner and and so-and-so needs this many pills and blah blah and you just go down and do it and the next thing you know you're like they're going to they break you off a little bit of that. And so for me, it was just the more money I could get in my pocket, the more money I had for drugs. But that's more exposure, too. It is, but addicts don't think that way. So you're telling me you're spending thousands on drugs for yourself, too? Easily. Really? Easily. I'd spend three to five hundred a day, just myself. And that would get me through just the day, just the day. Really? You know, so I was using 15, roughly 15 to 20 inbox.

30s. And that seems like that could kill someone. It can. Half of a quarter of one can kill somebody. Were you injecting or were you? No, no. I never, I never injected. Okay.

No. I started just regular by mouth and then just like normal, hit it. And then one day my buddy was like, yo, you should crush that up and snort it. It hits you a lot quicker. And I did. And I never went back to it. Is there any difference between injecting and snorting? I would assume so because I would think the bioavailability and how much actually

it gets into your bloodstream, I've never injected, so I couldn't tell you that. Okay. But I know that, like, if you snored it, you only get a percentage of it because, of course, it gets in your membranes and whatnot. When you inject it, you're getting the full thing right in your veins. Gotcha. And with those type of drugs, when you do the injecting, does that give you, like, the scars on you and whatnot, like some of the other drugs does, or not for the fentanyl?

No, it's the same thing. If you're using a needle to inject, it doesn't matter if it's meth heroin, fentanyl, you're going to get track marks, you're going to get scarred up. And like the facial issues too, like the scabs or whatever that we see up here. That's more of like a meth aspect. Okay. Yeah. You don't really see that from opiates.

But that's more of what you see from meth. The only time. So I never went, I guess I should say, I never physically injected myself. I would make up excuses and go to the hospitals all the time and say I have this issue and they'd shoot me up with like dilaudid or something. Like that was the other thing. That's how bad my habit was, bro. I would travel for work. I would.

I would travel all the time. That's why when I would tell my ex-wife, like, hey, I got to go out of town for work. No questions asked, because I would travel every week, every other week I was gone for a week or two. So when I'm out on the road, instead of sitting at my hotel at night, I'm like, let me look up the closest hospital I can go, spend six hours in the waiting room. Tell them that I'm allergic to Tylenol, ibuprofen, tort, all, just so they can shoot me up with dilated morphine. it was bad man where I would literally go in and I would tell them I think I get a kidney stone and then of course so the cure for a kidney stone that they want to give you is Toridol which is just a strong anti-inflammatory I would tell them I'm allergic to that I might throw a swells up

so they would be only forced to give me narcotics and I know they're going to take a piss test and if nothing comes back in my pee it's going to show I would go in the bathroom I'd take a razor blade I'd cut my finger drop the blood into the fuck into the pee and then and it would go, they would do their test, they would come back and they'd be like, well, there's blood in your urine. It doesn't look like there's a kidney stone. Looks like you passed it, though. So here you go.

Here's a script. I use that so many times. I also got me. And now that I sit here and I tell you stories, it's insane because I'm like, wow. Like, I really was a junkie because I got my appendix taken out by a chance to buy an off chance of, I went to the hospital so many times to tell them I had appendicitis. And every single time that they would be like, they do a CT, shoot me up with drugs and say, nope, you don't have nothing.

And they had sent me home. After about 10 times ago into the emergency room, they finally came in, they go, we're taking you to surgery tomorrow. I'm like, why? They're like, well, you've came in 10 different times complaining of your appendix. We can never find anything. So there's probably an issue we can't see. So we're just going to take your appendix out.

No. So I got my appendix taken out for no reason. And I sit here now. I laugh at it, but I'm like, wow, was that really that little life? Was I really that I would go cut myself, bleed into a P test, just to tell them that, yeah, oh, you guys, just to give me, I don't know. But I will tell you this, if I didn't, if I didn't get sober when I did, my next step was going to be injecting heroin. I was actively looking. I got cut off by my dealers.

I got cut off by everybody because of my, of how everything happened. And my next step, I was literally actively looking where I could go and find heroin so I can go and shoot it up. So what came first? You stopping the drug runs and the selling or are you getting sober? Stopping everything. I stopped. So I stopped two weeks prior to me getting sober. What was the cause?

What made you stop? So because I used to travel, I was a gold member with Hotels.com. So I used to get some pretty good decent rate. At Hyundai of Glendale, lease a new, 2026 Hyundai Tucson S.C. Frontwheel drive for 269 a month plus tax for 36 months, with owner's assurance in America's best warranty. 10-year, 100,000 miles. Stop by Hyundai of Glendale today or Hyundai ofglendale.net. 36 month lease, 4,49 to its signing. Tax title license and dock fees extra, plus government fees and taxes. 7,500 miles per year, expires 6126. Who available at this payment? PH 71529, pH 715-65. And so my plug would always call me and be like, yo, can you rent a hotel under your name?

I want to take the family to this, to this resort. And of course, it's going to be cheaper for me. And I was like, yeah. So I ran it. I got this hotel for them, a resort. They paid for it. I just put my name on it. I had to re-up that day.

He wasn't answering his phone. I'm like, what the hell is going on? So I drove down. It was like 45 minutes. I drove down to the resort. I saw the cars in the parking lot. I walked in, I knocked on the door. The guy's wife answers and she tells him, she speaks Spanish, she speaks in Spanish.

She tells me, Jared, if you don't get in the bathroom, they're going to kill him. I'm like, they're going to kill who. So I go in there and there I see is a mutual friend of ours who I did plenty of runs with. Hogtied to the towel rack, pistol whipped with the gash on his head with four guns pointed to him. And I, first thing I look in, I say, what the hell? he took a bunch of Xanax and fentanyl and got barred out and blacked out and in the middle of the night he tried to steal he went into their safe and tried to steal some of the product

oh wow he fucked up that's his fault and so they of course found it found out and they hog tied him with the towel to the towel rack he's just sitting there like this And he's bleeding down his head. And so I look at, I look at my guy and I'm like, what the hell? What's going on? So he tells me what happens. And I look over at, and I could say this.

This kid's name was Daniel. I looked over at him. And I was like, bro, what the hell? Why would you do that? Of course he got barred out and blacked out. So he didn't know what he was doing. But that was his fault. So, yeah, oh, I almost said this guy's name.

This guy tells me, and he goes, you got two options, Jared. Either A, I'm going to shoot him and kill him. He's going to, we're going to shoot him right here on this bathroom floor or two. We're going to put him in your truck. We're going to take him to the desert. We're going to take care of him. And I look over at Daniel and I said, bro, you know, I don't have a choice, right? I don't.

I told the guy, I was like, I don't want to do this. He goes, no, I'm not giving you those are your two choices. And I know, 100% he would have shot him right there on the floor. So I look over and I said, dude, you know, I don't have a choice. So let's go. So we go to my truck. We get him in. He's got two guys with guns to him.

He sits in the front seat, the two in the back seat. The whole time they point the, they just have the gun to his head. And we go out to the desert and we part. Now, I stay in the truck. I'm not getting out. But both of the guys got out. They walked him out. And I literally had to watch this guy get shot and killed right there.

They left them. We got in the truck and we left. Two weeks later, I was done. I was done. Wait, this is like some shit from breaking bad. I swear to God, bro. I swear to God, all my life. Swear to God.

And that was your friend? That was, he was my friend in the, with drugs. And no cops ever followed up. There was no investigation. Because I left. Two weeks later, I left and I went out of state, never heard anything. And this was the cartel that killed them. These were people that were, I don't know if, I don't know, like, if this was a hit from them.

Or if this was just you, this is just the guy just saying, you know what, I'm just going to shoot you. And because you got into my pockets, I can't tell you that. I can't tell who it was ordered from. I don't know if this was just somebody in Mexico that said kill him. I don't think it got back that far. I think what it was, honestly, it was just that so-and-so caught him getting into his safe. And he knows that if he doesn't take care of it himself, they're going to take care of him. So that's what it was.

Wow. That scared the crap out of me, the living crap out of me. and I'll tell you this At the end of the day Everyone's got their story Okay People all the time There's no there's no

There's no way That's bullcrab There's no way Listen This is my life This is what I lived You ain't gotta believe it You got your story

I got my story But that is what steered me straight I literally went back I was done with everything I said I'm done I paid my debts back I paid everything that I needed to signed over the titles

and within two weeks my family we literally loaded sold everything we owned loaded everything that we could in trash bags strapped to the back top of the car and drove Texas and started over and what year was this? How old were you?

2018. 2018 until a few years ago. Yeah, I got sober in October 16th of 2018 and how old were you? What shit was five years? So it was what, 29. And you've never done drugs since? No, I've had surgery and I've had to take, you know, I've had to take, you know, prescribed,

but I've never, like, actually have gone out and now I've been sober. So you didn't have any, like, withdrawal effects or anything? Oh, I did. Okay. Withdrawing from fentanyl was the most absolute horrific thing I would ever, I've ever experienced. I would not wish that on my worst enemy. Describe, like, what that's like. You're on the toilet for days on in.

It's coming out of both ends. You got the chills, your body's just shivering, hot flashes. You can't eat, you can't sleep, your anxiety, your skin's crawling. It is the worst. That's why I tried to get sober three times prior to that. Just within the last month, a couple months of me doing what I was doing, I tried because I wanted to. I never made it past 24 hours. Either I left at 3 a.m. with no pants on and my boxers in the car, just hop on and just drive

to my plugs house and banging on his window at 3 a.m. That's when it started, that's, that was when it started getting bad. When my dealers would come to me and tell me, dude, you got a problem, that's when it was bad. So, it was horrible, absolutely horrible. So it was just like, and that's, that's why people, unfortunately, unless they're ready to quit, they're not going to quit. They can't quit for you.

They can't quit for me. They can't quit for their mom. they got to quit for themselves because the withdrawals are going to get so bad that if you physically don't want it for yourself you're going to go use. So did that vision of what happened to that guy keep you going from going back?

I knew that would be me 100%. Because I knew how bad I was getting. I knew how bad I was getting. I knew that that would be me. That if it wasn't him, that it would have been me within a month. Because that's, that is how quick it went downhill. It went for me being cool, being collected, being able to, you know, just have this business standpoint to where I was just a junkie, ponting, everything that I owned.

I'd go to my dealer, I'd pull my gun out. Here you go. How much can you give me for this? Just trade them, you know, and of course I'd get a rip off on. He'd give me like four or five pills for my pistol. And I'm like, I'm an addict. I don't, you know, I'm not, I don't care. So that's how bad it got.

And I knew that if I kept doing what I was doing, that that would be me in the desert. Isn't it amazing, like the power of the human mind once you're really dedicated to something and you have like, and there's no other options, then you could push through really anything. Yeah. Yeah. And that's the way I look at it. And that's why I tell people all the time. It doesn't matter how many people want you to get sober if you don't do it for yourself. If you're not ready, it's not going to happen.

You're never going to make it. So that guy that stole from these individuals, was it technically stealing from the cartel because it was cartel product? Yeah. Wow. Yeah. And these people, like, these people don't mess around. Yeah. That's what I've learned.

I've had a couple phone calls since. So I got a call from my brother a couple months ago that he was like, hey, so-and-so mutual friend of ours. My brother still, he doesn't. He just still associates, but he doesn't run anything, but he associates. And I guess he brought somebody that into this guy's house who works for the cartel that actually he stole $30,000 from him. And this guy, this kid fled. And so my brother called me and was like, dude, he goes, this is what happened. I don't know what to do.

I'm trying to get this dude's money back. Do you know anybody you can talk to him? Like, nope, I don't know. I don't know. Like, I know all I could do is literally tell, I told the dude's aunt he stole this money, and the longer he runs, it's going to get bad for him. But they're not playing around that he will end up dead the longer that it takes. And I refuse to get involved in any of that. I have had that.

And I'm like, nope, I don't want nothing to do with this. That's crazy. I've been doing good for five years. I don't want to get involved in this. So what do you end up getting into for work when you're starting to rebuild your life? I got into the same field. I was able to just go back and get back into the plumbing and pipe fitting field. And I was able to, it was the man moving to Texas was the best decision I ever made in my entire life.

That was the beginning of me. We moved there with $1,300. No place to live. No job. The only thing we were going to do was go pay for an extended stay. motel within three days of being at this extended stay found an apartment of course it was a you know it was in fort hood it was in corleyn on fort hood text you know in fort hood and of course you know clean's pretty it's kind of a little ghetto spot but we found this two-bedroom apartment

the landlord was just like uh as long as you have the money i'm good no credit no background no none of that and i'm like cool so gave them the money and moved in and then within like a week I had a full-time job working on base and the rest was history. I had like no social media for a year. I had no social media. I had a flip phone that only I had only had like two contacts in it. I literally started my life over that people and my family didn't even know where I went. Very specific people in my family only knew.

I didn't want people knowing where I went to because I just didn't, man, I was, I wanted to change my life. I really did. And I didn't want any things to pop up that might cause an issue. And I was like, no, don't tell people where I went. I stayed away from Phoenix for two years. I finally went back after two years. And I was a little nerve-wracking when I went because I didn't know how it was going to be. You know, I'm going back into my old hood.

You know, my family still lives in the areas. And I was nervous, but I was fine. I went back and there was no issues. People were like, are you scared to come back because so-and-so and so. I'm like, no, I paid my debts. I'm not in debt to nobody. So why am I worried about? I don't have nothing to be worried about.

I just know not to go to this block and I'm all right. Would have been like some triggers for you that you've had to work through in regards to relapsing? I mean, definitely like just life experiences. You know, I went through a divorce. And my kids live on the other side of the country. So like, you know, when I got divorced, the number one question people ask like, are you good? Are you going to relapse? I'm not.

I'm good. I used it as fuel. But that could have been a potential trigger, but I was able to, I was dedicated to working through that. But then also, like, I'm not going to say I don't get cravings. I look at the news all the time and I see all the inbox 30s, the pills. And sometimes it takes me back in my mind. I'm like, damn what it would be like just to do that.

But then I realize one time, man, that's how bad it is now. one time, all I need to do is use it one time and that's going to kill me. And I'm a buck 55. I've been able to snort one or two of those pills at a time. I've seen people 300 pounds snort half of one and just out like a light. So if I was to relapse today, I'd be scared because I don't think I'd make it back. Like that's the way that I look at it right now. I don't have another relapse in me because if I go out, I'm out.

Like I'm not coming back from it. Have you had to like focus on something else like maybe like move your addiction to drugs to a new area like the gym or your job or your family? Have you had to kind of like offset it? Yeah. Yeah. So like that's why I do the podcast. So when I started mine was because I needed one, I wanted to share my story. But then two, I wanted to be able to dedicate all my time and energy to something else.

And I work a full-time job. my podcast is a full-time job. I'm sending emails, sending texts. I'm researching. I'm doing everything. And that alone, I don't have any time in between work at home and the podcast. I ain't got time to even think about doing drugs, to be honest with you. Yeah, so tell us about the podcast, why you started at when you started at what it's about and what do you have going on.

Yeah, so it's called the Blacklist podcast. And about a year into me being sober, I've always been a huge in a podcast, YouTube, you name, And so about a year into getting sober, I was like, there's really, at that time, there was no recovery mental health-based podcast. Not like there is now. Now there's one on every corner, which is great, though. But I was like, you know what? I want to create a platform that I can share not only my story, but others like we're doing now. I would just love to be able to show other people that if we can do it, they can do it.

and I sat on the idea for about it a year or two. And I was like, I just made excuses. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know where to start, blah, blah, blah. And finally, I was like, I need that. It's either go big or go home. I have to do this. So two years ago, I started it.

I made the Facebook page. I made the name. I got the logo made, this, that, and the third. And I was like, I don't know what I'm doing. I don't even know where to start, but I'm doing it. And I did, luckily, my first two, episodes I got, I was very grateful to have two very big recovery influencers. Now they are. At that time, they were just starting out to see the way where they're at now. It was crazy. But they saw me and

they gave me the opportunity to come on and share their story. And I got a lot of great feedback, but I was still, I wasn't sure how I was wanting to do it. And I took some time off. And of course, I relocated. I moved to the East Coast. And I kind of took a little bit of time off. And I rebranded and it restructured everything. And then at the beginning of this year, I started back up again and I said, it's happening. This time, no mistakes, no this, no that. I'm just jumping in. And we're 19 episodes this year, which to some people, that may not be a lot.

But to me, it is. But 19 episodes this year, you know, we draw. At first, I didn't think it was real. I woke up to this blinding light. And I was transported to another place. Pluto TV. Then I heard a voice. Come with me if you want to live.

There were thousands of movies and shows, and they were all free. The truth is ours. It's just so beautiful. On Pluto TV, free streaming of Terminator 2, Fringe Arrow, the 100 NX files may cause excitement, loss of sleep, and sudden belief in extraterrestrials. No credit cards or alien encounters necessary. Pluto TV, stream now, pay never.

America's first pledge was freedom. Jeep still carries that fighting spirit. With the Jeep Declaration of Deals, we're pledging our allegiance to the American people with great deals on the luxurious Grand Cherokee, with available three-row seating, premium craftsmanship and tech that turns every drive into an adventure. Or Jeep Rangler with legendary 4x4 capability and open-air freedom. Because freedom deserves the vehicle built to carry it. Jeep, there's only one. Hurry into your local dealer for the Jeep Declaration of Deals.

Jeep has won more awards over its lifetime than any other SUV brand. Jeep at the Jeep Grill or registered trademarks of XCAUS LLC. Up every Wednesday. still working some marketing things out. But we've had the opportunity, man, to have a lot of great people on the podcast. You know, we have people from everyday Joe Schmo's to influencers that have, you know,

two, three million followers. That is what they do full time. And all we do is just share stories of just hope and positivity to people. That's the main goal of this podcast is to inspire others to let them know if, it doesn't matter what you go. through a life that you can change.

If you can do it, they can do it, he can do it, I can do it, everyone can do it. There should be no reason that nobody can achieve that they can't achieve what they put their mind to. And that's what we do. And we've been able to, I've been able to meet and make friends with some great people through this. Some people that have come on the show and we've talked every single day since. And I've been able to travel, do some.

I've been able to be blessed to come here to do this. And it's awesome. man it's looking i was telling my girlfriend because she co-hosts with me and i have another co-host out of detroit and um i was telling them tell us telling them like man to think a year ago that we would be here sitting in this chair just just to being able to be here is insane and now we're gonna and like i told you before we started we're going to look back a year from now to see how much i've grown so much you've grown to see how much everybody's grown and just to be like man like it is insane. Like when you put, like you said, the power of the mind, when you put your mind to something and you

just dive in full force, everything just starts rolling out. And I've been doing it. I don't care if I get two views on an episode or 200 views or 2,000 views. I grind the same way. I put out consistently. I constantly work. People want to know how I get the guests that I get being a smaller platform that we get. Consistency. That's what it is. I don't have a marketing manager. I don't have booking agents. I do it all myself. I do it all myself. I I look, I email, I message, I text, I spend hours doing that. Hours to where my girl's got to kind of sell me like, hey, but that's what I do. And it's paying off.

That's awesome, man. I mean, I have a lot of respect for that because I'm that same way. Like, once I'm grinding, it's hard to get me to turn off that grind. Once, like, I'm in that vision and, like, I'm annoyed enough to the point where I need to, like, focus on this and just, like, go all in. Because I like to turn, like, anything I'm personally going through, I turn that into motivation. to finish what I set out to do and to start it. But that's what it takes to stand out in this. And it doesn't matter.

Like the views don't matter. Like even if you have one person watching, that's one more person you're positively affecting. And you can inspire that one person to get their thing going because there's so many people in the world that are too afraid to try. That are too afraid, like they're miserable at home. They're thinking, oh, you know, I don't want to keep working this job.

I don't want to do this. I want to do that. And they're, you know, they're afraid to try. dry. So when they hear someone like you come on and say, listen, I've been at rock bottom, I've done some shit, I should probably be a jail for, I probably should have been dead, but I've been able to turn it around and get on a good track and use that negative life experience for something positive that's inspiring for people. So I got a lot of respect for you for that, man. I appreciate it. I do. It's just a drive that I can't turn off. It really is. Now I'm like,

how do I take this to the next level? You know, I already got one level. Now I'm like, all right, let me take it to the next level. And then it's going to be to the next level. And quality is only going to get better. Production's only going to get better. Everything gets better with time. And that's the way that I look at it.

You know, we might be squeezing in a studio under the stairs right now. But I guarantee you, six months to a year from now, I'm already claiming it. It's going to happen. We're going to move into the next phase. You've got to manifest that. And that's the way. Yeah. That's the way speak it.

Speak it into existence. You know, thoughts become things at the end of the day. And that's, I tell people, do not be afraid to just jump because I made the excuses for the longest time. And I'll tell you this, before this, before a week started back in the up in the beginning of the year, I was done with the podcast. I was done. I was going through some personal things. I was done with it. I told my girl, I told my co-hosts, everything I said, I don't, you know, I just, I don't know if I want to do this no more.

I lost my drive at that moment. But I would just kept, was told, keep holding on, keep holding on. And I did. And when I held on, it's been nonstop. We're booked up until the end of February with content right now. Three months behind, it's insane. So to anyone that's watching and listening, like, don't give up. Because you might be ready to give up right now.

And you might just need a couple more swings, you know, to hit to that, to the diamonds, you know, and it's going to break open. but you got to be consistent. That's the biggest thing, consistency.