Locked In with Ian Bick - Recruited to the Bloods at 15: Surviving Gang Life, Street Violence & Prison | Eskobano

Episode Date: January 5, 2025

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even if you've shopped with us before. Esco, welcome to Lockton. You had a show in New York City last night and you have a show tonight in Connecticut. Yes, sir. How did you get the name Escobana? I mean, you know, in my neighborhood, the nicknames that you receive

came from your personality, man. You know, everything was about being true to who you were. Everything was about being authentic. I mean, having that flavor, that sassone. I'm saying, and I'm from New York City. So it's a lot of dobo. Another season is going. around in that pot. So I was giving the name Esco because, you know, not only was I like the

best rapper in my neighborhood, but I was in the Nause, you know, everybody knows that no, you know, Nause go by Esco, and I'm saying? And this is paying homage to Escobar, Pablo Escobar, you know what I'm saying, world famous drug dealer, cartel, whatever the case may be. But as I grew older, you know, you realize like, listen, you know, I'm my own person, like, This is what y'all call me because this is what has been, but I'm Esco with a K. And it's like, nah, listen, man, it's Escobano. You know what I'm saying? We put a little extra garnishment on that and to also keep the big homie where he at in the league of his own.

That's the escrow, I mean, with the C. I'm escrow with a K, respectfully. I love that. And I feel like white boys like myself only know what Sazon is because we went to prison. You know the Vives, yeah. I know, and Mrs. Dash, all that. Let me ask you this, though. Do you put the Sassone in your rice before you cook it or after you cooking?

That's what I'm trying to figure out how to do it. So I've done it both ways. But in prison, they get it so perfect. So what is the right way to do it? I mean, I feel like it's all the elements in prison because I can definitely concur with what you just said. In prison, the rice is made the best. Ain't that some shit? And it's not real.

It's like the dehydrated rice too. It's not even real rice. Because I feel like it's that extra amount of love. Yeah. Well, you like, yo, I just taste the toe nail in that motherfucker. You put your foot in it, my do. And they put it in a bag to mix it up better. Rice gets mixed up so much better in that plastic bag.

Hell, you're the heat, the condensation, the flavor. And, you know, we got nothing but time in there, right? So we're going to allow it to be the best of it. Yeah, I have one of those rice cookers where that's probably why it gets messed up, where it has the water in it. And I put the sazone in and it never really comes out the right color. And then I've done it after where it comes out the right color, but the flavor's not there.

But I've learned you've got to put butter, you got to put oil, salt, all these different things. things. But yeah, I want you to plug your music in at the top of this episode where people could find you out, what kind of music you do, and what exactly it is you do. No doubt, no doubt. Salute to you for that, giving me an opportunity to, you know, put this on your platform. At the end of the day, you know, for those that know, I'm Escobano with a K.

You could look me up on all platforms. I'm part of a group, ITE is the essence. I'm part of another group, perfect symmetry. me and my man Reggie Lane's. I'm saying I got the boss cloth thing going on. That's the movement as well. You know, good stitch don't itch. You know, where we just really promoting good character.

You know what I mean? The cloth we come from, the pedigree to stop. I mean, boss cloth, good stitch, don't itch. Fabulous fabric for the baddies, man. It'll be in a hood near you soon, definitely. But yeah, you know, I've been doing music for a very, very long time, Ian. But I've been, you know, incarcerated throughout my life. You know, and whatever I was into at the time, you know, the drugs and just that lifestyle, you know what I mean, chasing money and, you know, that whole get rich or die trying stigma I came up in.

You know what I mean? That mindset, rather. So I wasn't really focusing on my God-given talents as I'm doing now, but we'll get to that. So everybody, if you want to hear more on that note, You could go on all platforms, Eskabano with a K-E-S-K-O-B-A-N-O-2-4-0 on Instagram, you heard. Whoa. And like I said, shout my man Reggie Lane's out. You know what I'm saying?

Blues Brothers Stack Everything Entertainment. You're going to hear a lot from us soon. Whoa. And we'll have all your links in the episode description, too. And you found out about the show because of Mr. Butt-Ass. Oh, Mr. Butt-Ass, bro. Dude, there's something about him. Every time I put up a clip, it just blows up.

And he doesn't want to go anywhere else. Right. People will hit him up and he's like, nah, I'm with he because he calls me Eon. Yeah, he's like, I'm running with Eon. Yeah, yo, shout out to him, man. Listen, man. You know, he know I know. I don't recall the gentleman's name, man.

I don't recall his name. But, you know, anybody, like I said once again, that has been in the New York State Department of Corrections is going to be able to relate to him. I mean, to relate to that, you know what I'm saying? And so that's what it was for me. Like, yo, this shit is crazy, man. And not for nothing. When you're doing time, anybody that know, you're going to, like, you know, become animated to a certain extent when you're telling stories or you're, because this is how we entertain each other in these dire straits. You know what I'm saying?

With your crew that you're comfortable with, but anybody that know that know, you know what I'm saying? You know the extra sauce or whatever because I'm sure, you know, just to correlate it to where we are now, sometimes, like, how we operate can be I don't want to use the word unbecoming but they can't really relate they don't understand you know but you know as I can see with you you know you're somebody that's learning

self-governing you know gleaned from structures that we was in and look what is manifested and this is encouraging to me because that's the trajectory I believe I'm more just manifesting what's already mine man yeah that's what it's I feel like

manifestation is everything you know I'm one of those people that when I have the vision, boom, it's already done. Wowed up. Like that prison upstairs I just showed you. We did that in two weeks. Crazy. Yeah.

I saw the vision and, you know, people make fun of it, like when they see skits and stuff. But I think it's going to be something. I really do. No, I know it's going to be something, man. I know it's going to be something because I believe that it's coming from a right route. You know what I'm saying? And that's something ill that we could talk about too, not for nothing. I'm saying.

I like how you said, like, listen, this shit going to be organic. That's what it's about for me, man. Everything organic. Like we walk by faith, not by sight. Like, you know, we're chilling, and that's what it is for me, man. Burden myself less. And I take on unnecessary burdens because I want to dance at a party. You know what I'm saying?

Mama love told me that shit off the rip. You can't dance at a party, e-ho. I'm saying? Fuck is you doing. Like, you're trying to shake your ass at a party. Pause no ditty. You can't do that at a party. Observe.

Be slow to speak and swift to listen. No, but if you train the child in the way that they should go, even if they don't listen then, they'll never depart from it. They'll come back to it. So, you know, like I told you, man, that's what it is for me, man, to be able to at least get the information that I've been given out there so that now you can do what you want with it. It's on you, but you can't say nobody gave it to you.

Like, you can't cry like you ain't get a fair shot at this. I don't jack that. Like, you know, people that, you know, kind of allow them to to be under their own oppression because of their circumstance. Like, nah, listen, we're all in the same boat, man. I had to learn that. And we learned that I'm north too.

Like, I mean, I respect the nigger that's going to in that butt can. I ain't laughing at him no more. I used to, but I ain't going to laugh at that shit because at the end of the day. If it wasn't for the grace of God, there go, ah, I'm saying? Like, who's fucking my?

You know what I'm saying? To, like, nah, and then you realize how corny that shit is. Like, a nigga that could, a nigga, you know what I'm saying? Control the phone booth. it's not stronger than the man that could control his spirit, man.

At the end of the day, like, and, you know what I'm saying? All right, we got the phone. All right, the homies got the phone or whatever the case may be, but respectfully, you don't get on the phone, and for whatever reason

you ain't asking niggas to get on the phone, we're going to come to you and ask you if you need to get on the phone. That's king shit. That's boss cloth. Good stitch don't itch, Paul and so, good stitch don't it's.

And, you know, it's like who's going to stand for what you know to be true. If you don't know, you ain't accountable. But when you know, how do you look yourself in that mirror? Unless you not cut from that cloth, and that's okay too. But if you know you a leader, it's like I, I was leading over here. But once I knew the truth, it's like it's my obligation to stand in that each one teach one.

So now I'm over here and I'm telling you grass is greener. But if you ain't jacking it, I got to respectfully depart from you because it's more people. and who am I to hold this bed. Like they used to say that. Not to not to go on a tangent, we're going to get back to it. But they used to say, right, like, yo, if you don't take the bed,

like when you know how you come home, you got to go on parole and shit. And they tell you to go to the, I don't know where you parole to, but, you know, if you don't have an address, they'll tell you to go to a shelter, right? Right. But then, you know, most people like,

fuck, I look like going to a shelter. I just don't got an address that you know about. I got mad, you know what I'm saying? But then, you know, I remember one time they said to be like, yo, don't take up a bed that somebody else may really need. Like, I don't need this fucking bed.

That's why I want to leave. I'm going to go to her house or something. This is real shit, and I know the real could relate, and I'm saying this why I was at. But then you realize like, yo, you know, my fuck is playing the system and doing a lot, but there's really people that, so it go back to being a leader.

If you know the truth and you know what you're able to do and could do, it's your obligation. So that's what this shit is about right here, Ian. And once again, shout out to you for a lot. me to pull up and I don't get this shit popping, man. Of course. So where did you grow up?

Where are you from? I'm from Flatbush, yes. Look. I'm from Flatbush, Brooklyn, man. Old Brooklyn, if you know, you know. East 38th Street, Avenue K, man, King's Highway. Yutika! You thinka, you thinka.

I'm saying? King's Plaza and all that. They know what's going on. They know the vibes. Now, I say that to say, right? You could see how delighted and joyful I get when I think about that. Because the world was different, bro. in the late 80s and the early 90s

it was different like you could come outside and fuck your gang or everybody say gang gang gang what are you talking about the whole block you know other people's parents like loved on you and it was just different bro you could feel the unity

like it was something that was tangible just like you could go in a prison yard and tangibly feel tension and division Imagine tangibly being able to feel Oneness, bro. That shit is crazy. So when niggas be like,

yo boy, what you want? Nick, I'm on the Jesus juice. And I'm going to tell you about it. It's lit over here. I'm saying that. And, you know, so yeah, I stay there. Like, even my host bop. Like, I'm there with it because this shit, to me, is weird.

But who am I to judge the new age? The niggas always tell me that don't, because I don't want to get blackboarded nothing. I respect the sexy drill, Reggie Laines. That's my son. That's my son. I respect the sexy drill. We're not going to shit on niggins of how they get their money.

But this is the essence. And I'm saying? So it's about what we know to be true in just the foundation. So like Brooklyn, New York to me, man. In the 90s, boys, who, you couldn't tell me, you couldn't tell me Jupiter was bigger than my block. What are you talking about? You couldn't tell me Jupiter was bigger than my block.

Brooklyn, New York in the 90s? Who did you grow up with? I grew up with an adopt. family, I'm forced to cared out, bro. Like, I grew up not knowing who I was or who my family was, bro. That's where all this shit come from. Like, you know what I'm saying? I was adopted, but I ain't know that till I was like five.

The only thing I knew is like, yo, my mom's is mad old. My mom's is mad old. The lady that adopted me was like 50 already. So you know, when you parallel that to once again, Brooklyn, New York, this is the mecca. This New York City in the 90s. I'm going to school. Everybody else, parents is young, logically, practically. My mom's is 50.

Now, I don't give a fuck. You know, but I'm a thinker. So I'm like, you know, we pay attention to things like that. Fast forward. I'm five years old. And, um, my niece, shout out to Valencia. I'm name dropping with soul coming to the light. Well, the mother's fire, though.

You know, my niece, she's like, we arguing and she like, yo. you're not my family no way it was I'm like well I ain't know what the fuck I'm five years old but for whatever reason I go to mama love like fuck she's talking about I'm not your family what is that mean you know Priscilla don't play

Priscilla New York this old 50 year old Puerto Rican for Brooklyn New York where she can tell me what it is I think I guess we're about to talk about this now now I'm saying fire ain't no men around and she like nah you ain't come out of mommy you got another mommy that you came out of but I'm your mommy

fuck that me At five years old, what the fuck? What? Mommy, what? I don't got no mother. That's all I heard. You heard? I've got no mother.

All right, shit is lit. That's where everything went left, bro. That's where the rebellion came. That's where everything went left, you know? That's where mad destruction and seemingly because, you know, it was all a method to the madness that we will talk about. That's fire. But I just rebel. Because in reality, I'm saying?

You know, at that place. point, I just wanted, I just wanted to be able to identify with something, you know, and everybody pay attention because there's a lot of people that's, that's where I was at, and that's what this shit is for, you know. Identity is the root of who we are. So if we identify with things that are negative and have negative connotations around them, we're going to perceive ourselves in a negative light. that's why we

you know we have to be cleansed and healed with truth that comes in many shapes and forms and we're gonna get to that I'm saying but yeah I just looked at I just thought I was just you know I was the rejected one

but what it did for me was like made me really arrogant and big like that's how I feel that voice some people cut their self and do other shit because I personally with depression I still do a little bit but I don't I don't hurt myself in those ways.

I do shit that ain't good for me. I smoke weed. I'm not knocking nobody for that. I know for me because we don't want the, we don't want Escobar to come back. We don't want the drug dealer to come back. We don't want certain things that they tell us about in jail, people, places, and things.

This is real shit. I got to keep myself governed because I know. So certain things, it's like, this might slow me down. Yeah, it ain't killing me, but remember, we want to shoot for the stars and be at our greatest potential, you know? So, you know, I'm, I'm,

I'm, you know, this shit is a party between me and him. I don't see nobody else. And that allows me to shoot for the stars, but also have compassion on myself. So now it's not burdenly. I'm in a movie that everybody could see, bro. It's lady in the city. I'm saying? But, you know, back to, like I said, me being in darkness and not knowing this then,

I just did things to make me feel, you know, I don't know, acceptable, with my false perception acceptable. And that went on, you know, until my teens when, you know, I got locked up for the first time when I was 11. I'm saying. Now, mind you, throughout this whole thing, I'm in magnet programs, if you know, you know. Shout out to the New York City educational system in the 90s, PS119, Shell Bank and Sheafshed Bay, if you know, you know, Midwood. I was in all the Eagle classes, you know. heard. I was in all the advanced classes intellectually, you know what I'm saying? Because it was God-given.

But I was bad. I didn't, I was rebelling as most people. And they was, you know, I was blessed to where they were still able to put me, you know what I'm saying, in structures where I was able to grow. But let's talk about the kids that they put in special led because of how they act. But they're, you know, they still have the aptitude. But because of how they act, they, they ostracize them. You know what I mean? So it's just, it's just crazy. Like I said, to be able to see both sides of it. But, you know, my first, my first, my first encounter with an institution

was at 11, man. And I was in a, they sent, they brought me upstate to, uh, uh, whining skilled detention. Wine and skilled detention. Yep. And that was like a secure. Now I'm saying?

So, you know, family court pins petition. Now I'm saying. And it's like, you ain't, listening to your mother, we got something for you. And it's like, all right, but when do I go home now? When you were kids, you like, you went to shit. It's like, what, nigga, nigga, fuck, put the parole, something like that. You fighting the authorities, police.

I was always fighting police back in the day because they wasn't killing people back there. Right now, don't do that, young man. Don't fight that cop. Be smart. Back then, you know, mad disorderly conduct, resistance in the rest. That was a thing back then. You know what I mean?

But you think, you know, you could just be bigger than the law and, you know, do whatever you want to do. And that was my first encounter with. authority that I couldn't undermine. Because I undermine my mother's authority. Things that I'm ashamed of now. But like I said, these things are to be in the life because I was lost and now I found.

And I'm saying? And I understand there's so many kids that don't know why they're acting the way they do. You know what I mean? And they don't have a voice, I'm saying? But yeah, you know, they made me, they made me initially craftier. And I'm sure that you could identify with that

because I still wasn't jacking the fucking authority. I'm just going to figure out a way to get around you now. I mean, so we can get into that. Now I mean? Whereas, you know, these systems, they create a trajectory, bro. And they told me that shit when I was in there. They was like, boy, at 11, you know you're going to jail.

I'm like, yo, you can tell, though, but I can tell. You know you see little motherfuckers. You can tell he going to jail. You don't see people that you can tell the, trajectory because of the rebellion. If there's not an intervention, because if you, if you're not listening to your parents, what are we talking about? You definitely not listening to school because the issue isn't with people in particular.

It's with authority. Anybody that know that no, man, PSI report. What are we talking about? What are they going to tell you about yourself? I know, I'm mine. That's just a high disregard for authority. It's about just accepting the truth, bro. Yeah, I think it's very rare that kids get lost.

locked up that first time are going to get scared from that. They're doubling down and learning and it makes them a better gangster in their own mind. In their own mind. And then the bloods pick you up. We could get into that. Talk about the world. Did you have a stepdad in the picture? I don't know.

It was just heard that adopted you? Yeah, she adopted. Yeah, she adopted me. No siblings. No, no, no. I had some siblings. Yeah. Wow, yeah.

We're going to get into that. So she adopted for Naquan, Nader, and Dan. Dayquan. So I was the first to be adopted. Then my brother Neiqan got adopted. And we was there together probably till about, until I was probably about five, six. And then Naderra and DeKuan came. Naderia, she came when she was like two. DeKuan was like three. DeKuan had cerebral palsy. And I'm saying? So he couldn't lift his head up, nothing like that. My mom's, you know, she like just was enduring all that. And, It was crazy what I seen this woman do, man. Like, the way I grew up was fucking crazy, bro. And she adopted all the foster kids because my mother was like a super woman. When it came to that, like, now we're going to make sure these kids is good. But I realized, you know, in her past life, like she told me, I slept in abandoned buildings with my kids.

Like, you know, this is the grace that I have on my life to be able to, you know, take on children that don't have anywhere to go. So this is what I'm going to do. You know, so we all grew up together in the two-bedroom apartment in Brooklyn and then she moved us upstate. You know what I'm saying? I told you I got locked up. We moved up here. And, you know, then I just, I rebelled even more because I'm like,

how you take me from my habitat? I'm saying, I'm jumping on roofs and shit. I'm riding fucking the back of the bus. And I'm saying, if you know, you know, like, what are you doing? There's no Johnny pumps out here. What the fuck is going on? Johnny pumps? Where do you got me?

This is my mindset And I mean And that's what we're doing We merging the two now Upstate downstate But at that time It's like what's going on So I'm like man

Fuck everything I'm outside I'm not going to school I'm rebelling I'm doing whatever I want man Do you think you would have been better Off not knowing you were adopted? That's a good question Ian

Or do you think you go down that path Regardless I think that I have to go down that path Regardless because I had to I had to I had to experience comfort in the suffering that I would later be used

to comfort others in. That's fire. Word, bro. I know that to be true because I overcame it. I passed from death to life, bro. And it just sounds so crazy because we're not used to it being brought like that

to juice, man. We used to all this fucking religious, divisive things. And, you know, they're going to shit on me for this. You know that. You know it's going to be a million of one things. He's up there to talk about Jesus. Curson. Listen, man, at the end of the day, what I learned is that our interactions with the rest of humanity is like an improper fraction, right?

There's fire, Ian. Tune in. Tune in. You can associate two improper fractions as long as what? The denominator is common. If the denominator is common, it don't matter what the numerator is. I'm saying? And I had to learn that because there's so many people I've met later on in life that I'm like, No, before I would have never fucking spoke to your associate it because I'm looking at your numerator. I'm not allowing me to, my peace to keep me still and just see what comes because you never even know. You don't know. And then you miss your blessing and shit like that. So everything I went through worked for the good because I eventually met my biological family. I mean, it's, you know, if we sat here and I sat here and I really told you my story in my life, bro, we'd be here forever.

But, you know, the meat and potato of it is that my childhood was wild because of the rebellion that I got into because of my false sense of identity. That adoption shit fucked me up only because I didn't, I felt like I didn't know who I didn't belong. But, you know, throughout all of those transitions and me going to the group home the first time and, you know, I'm saying? seeing the things I saw in that group home, like how peer pressure, because this is at 11 now, because it's the same shit, you know that.

In prison, it's the same kindergarten shit that's going on just with bigger people. I mean, but to see, like, what peer pressure does, now we're going to get into some jail shit, what peer pressure does to people

and the power of what? Energy, because it's energy. Yo, bro, it ain't the words that's scared of a motherfucker because you can say it mad, off, bro, and that energy be crazy. And they're going to know by your energy, you don't even got to say nothing sometimes. So I believe that's where it starts as far as the jail should go.

Because remember, jail is just an institution. The shit that happens in jail can happen anywhere if motherfuckers is locked in. You know what I'm saying? Like, it's just, it happens in school. There's some schools, bro, especially more so now that's like fucking jail, bro. I'm talking about middle schools. I'm saying? where I'm at in Albany right now,

and I'm saying, actually it was in Schenectady. You know, they got a school out there and I, you know, don't quote me, I don't remember the name, man, but they got a school out there

where it's metal detectives. It's a middle school, bro. And they have a, like an action team. Like a team of fucking adults, they're on site because to break up fights and shit. People bringing their knobs and shit.

That's jail shit. That kids got to be in every day. Trying to learn and grow, and that's crazy bro but you know everybody not as blessed as us going to jail at an early age because now i can operate in any situation bro i'm gonna be me and i'm gonna know what to bop i'm in order to control the room respectfully and humbly but these are things that we learn because if if i don't learn it in in this in this structure that they playing for keeps at i'm

not gonna be here no more see the difference bro and we we make light of it now because we overcame it but you and i both know this shit is real in there but bro, but it's not a bad thing if you allow that fire to make you pure gold, gang. Now I'm saying? And everybody ain't going to make it, bro. That's what it is, right? But if you made it, you even, you know, kind of got obligation to those that didn't. Like, bro, you got to hold a baton.

You got to stay sturdy. Don't conform, you know what I'm saying? So, yeah, everything that happened, man, that shit happened for a reason. And, you know, I wasn't always the toughest. Let's put that out there too. Fire. I wasn't always the toughest, man. and I feel like at times when I was young,

I probably did pop, like, puff up more. Like, because it was certain situations, bro, in jail where it's like, let's even before the blood shit. But it's like, yo, listen, I don't really want to do that shit, I'm saying? But I kind of got to do it. Let me try to figure out a way to do it and get away. And I will always be that person if I got to choose,

but I know people that don't think like that. They don't go. They don't think about getting away. Like, you know, I got my brother's like that. Like, I'm seeing my other. And it's like, you know, how do we, how do we save somebody or point somebody to, you know, something that can save them when they're on a runaway train, a train that don't got no brakes? Because that's how I felt at times in jail, you know, in this gang shit. You know what I'm saying?

In this drug dealing shit. Now I'm saying? And like that's why I believe that whatever we go through and we glean from in life, you know what I'm saying? We called the accept so that we can gain understanding of it and pass that shit forward. That's it. You know what I'm saying? So, you know, the experiences that I had leading up to my rebellion that put me in jail,

you know what I'm saying? I accept. you know, I own it, and I'm saying, and I know that it worked as a, a school teacher, so to speak, a structure for me to be able to sit my ass down, man, and one day have all that shit brought to remembrance

because I don't know about you, but this last bit I was in or whatever the case may be, I did a lot of thinking. You reflect as you get older. You reflect on things in your life and why the things happen, you grateful, whatever, whatever, you know what I'm saying? And then you put in a position where you got to accept what you see.

I mean, and that's just where I'm at, just accountability and just moving forward, man. How old were you when you got recruited to the Bloods? I was 14, 15, and look what's so crazy about that, right? Yo, because my brother is Crip. I'm saying? My little brother is Cripe that I told you about Nekwon. Shout out to Nek Quan. I'm saying.

and, you know, he don't look nothing like me. Remember, we adopted. So he's real dark-skinned, he's skinny. I'm saying? He don't look nothing like me. And we always had enmity between us. I'm saying? Because as the big brother, I wasn't leading

in the way that I should. Remember, I'm like, fuck everything. Like, fuck, like, you ain't my brother, nigga? Like, we came up crazy. We always fighting, like, crazy. Like, and, you know, as it turned out, we got on polar opposite size. We used to have gang fights.

bro. Like I grew up like with mad violence in my house, bro, and destruction. But nobody ever got destroyed. That is crazy. It's never got destroyed, bro. Mad fire. That shit never scorched nothing. Oh shit, we get kicked out of this crib because I'm fucking punching holes in the wall. Oh, she's going to find another crib. And then I'm going to fucking lose it and punch holes in those walls. We're going to find, yo, bro, this shit was my life for years and this lady ain't give me back. How do fuck you ain't get me back to the system? I'm fucking your shit up.

I'm saying? But I know now because she saw past what she saw and just endured the process. So, you know, that's during the time where I got with the blood shit or whatever the case would be. And it just was just flashed. It fit my character. And I'm saying? They was, they was boisterous. I'm saying?

But it was the family shit. It was the camaraderie and the, uh, unity that I wasn't able to get in my house because I didn't allow it, I'm saying? How do you get recruited? Me, me, per se? Yeah, you per cent. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, back then, you had to put in work. Back then, you had to put in work, you know what I'm saying? So, you know, I had to put in work. I had to do things against, you know, opposite gang members, you know, fighting this shit. You know what I'm saying? It was young, so I ain't, I ain't shoot nobody and no crazy shit like that.

Like I said, that was so. They wouldn't have made me do the people that I came up under. And to this day, I know that the ones I was directly under were trying to help me. They got caught up when the how I was like treating my moms at times. What? I had to pay for that. Thank God for that, you know, to at least put that type of fear because I had like an issue with her. And I'm saying in my own mind.

I mean, but yeah, I just, I just started getting good. that knowing how to move per se. I'm saying? And when you know how to move, that separates you from people that don't know how to move, which creates more pride. You know what I'm saying?

And a lot of pride got put in me from, you know, being in that game. You know, you got a million people behind you, you know what I'm saying? But it definitely gave me a sense of belonging initially. I'm saying? And were you taking school seriously at that time or now? Were you down to school?

No, bro, I had a ninth. Nah, bro, this's the wild shit. I came out to group home. If I'm lying, I'm dying, man. I came out to group home and she put me in Redemption Christian Academy. I was in there with a Van der Leyen the Holyfield daughter. Wowed up. Whoa, I was in ninth grade.

Whoa, I had a 98 average in school, bro. That's what I ended with. They was like, who the fuck? No, bro, if I'm lying, I ain't, I don't, I never really studied. I just was able to understand. It's not even a memory thing. Is anybody that no, no, I don't remember shit, you know what I'm saying?

But understanding and wisdom, and I praise God for that. But I used that in so many wrong ways. Like, my, after I graduated with the 98 average, instead of staying in the prep school, I wanted to go to public school because that was corny to me.

I go to public school, I go back to the group home. I'm saying? wowing out again, more gang shit, more crazy shit. You know what I'm saying? At this time, I'm older now. Now I'm 15. One more years, jail.

But now I'm 15. And that group home was crazy. Northeast Parent and Child Society, if you know, you know. Schenectady, New York. That shit was co-ed. Boy, you can only imagine. You can only imagine. It was lit in there.

So it just made me more of a criminal, you know, more of a womanizer at the time. Real shit, bro. I'm saying. And I left there and I went home back to school. And in 10th grade, cocaine came into my life and everything changed, boy. 10th grade. How that shit happened?

My brother came up from the city or my brother Mookie came up from the city. And he had some crack on him and shit. I'm saying? And me and my men, like at this time and shit, you know, I only had a small group of people around me, man. I told you, I was upstate New York or some real book and shit. I ain't want to be around

nobody else, which was ignorant with me. Shout out to the 5-1-8. Y'all know I fuck with y'all. But I had my crew around me. Calico make the money flow. Shout out to him. My man, Nasty Twine, Sean, Phil. Antoine's family at the end of the day

because I didn't really had no family they took me in. But we would get caught up in the allure of the lifestyle. We just wanted a way in, you know what I'm saying? You could, like now looking back at it, Like, as a, you know, watching the movies and seeing shit on the block,

just wanted a way in, I'm saying? I could definitely say that I was the outgoing one out of my crew, I'm saying? But I was very, very calculated. And, yeah, one day my brother came up from the city, my older brother, Mookie. And he had some work on him and shit. And he, like, left some in the drawer, some shit, something like that.

And I'll never forget. I grabbed it. It was probably like two grand. Probably like $200 worth of drugs. And me and my man Twine went to downtown Troy and just sold it. And I'll never forget. At this time, like, I'm the nigger rocking A&1.

Like, I ain't had no Jordans or no phones. Remember, my mother is old. At this time, she's probably 60. She's not buying me shit like that. She's going to buy me a computer. She's a grandmother. She's a forward thinking. She's doing what she's supposed to do.

She's not thinking about buying me jewelry and none of that. But I have everything I need. And we were the family that fed everybody on the block because she made sure she had food. and things like that. But, yeah, my man Twan was with me. I sold that shit, and it was lit. Because I'm like, what the fuck?

I just made $200 in 10 minutes? Nah. Nah, this ain't real. I'm like, I just made $200 in 10 minutes. And here I am, like, making this N1 shit look good. Like, you know, I like girls. What the fuck? Like, I like girls.

Oh, shit. shit, $200 I could go buy a pair of Jordans? Nah. And it was lit. And from that, I just locked in, man. I'm saying, I just locked in. One thing about me, when I fixate on something, I'm really locked in.

I'm easily distracted at the same time, but when I fixate on something, I'm locked in, and that's where Escobar came from. I just locked in on how I could do this and not get caught. It wasn't even about how I could just make all this money. It was about how I could not get caught. You know what I'm saying? That's what it was always about for me.

And, you know, I was able to juggle, selling drugs, and going to school. And I did that from 15 to 18. I graduated like 17 to 8. I graduated at 18. My last year in high school, I didn't even go to school. I had enough credits because I'm in pre-A.

classes. College courses. This shit is nuts. But I'm selling hundreds of grams outside my mother's back door that don't make no sense. Because, you know, one thing that I knew then was to develop a relationship with people. The people I was dealing with, which wasn't a lot,

I developed relationships with them. And it was very intimate. So, like, I would tell them shit like this. So we're not glorifying this. This is just for educational purposes. I'd be like, listen, man, you got like five people I know you dealing with you're not dealing with me

and you see how I always take care of you I'm always the one making sure you good I don't beat you up I don't do none of this crazy shit I'm like yo remember that because you never know who you might have dealing with you you know you never know who might give you something

that they don't know for a fact is good and I just were always and me I realize that and I say that even on the spot I didn't realize what I was doing at the time. I was just being regular, but I was always trying to reason with their humanity, bro. For whatever reason, this shit is just business. It just was a way in for me, and I was good at it. No, so like I said, from 15 to 18, you know, I shook out, man.

You were probably in the minority, then, of people that were in gang life and going to school. Because most people I talk to don't finish school or even get into an AP class. Bro, this shit is crazy. So this is what I'm trying to tell you. It was the grace of God that was on my life. And it gets crazy. It's a lot of, bro. It was just the grace of God that was on my life.

I didn't realize it then. But guess what? Look how ill it go. To him who has shown much mercy, will show much mercy. Bro, like, it got to be real. At the end of the day, like, if your love is fake, keep it, right? But when you purpose to do something from the heart, no matter how big or small somebody think it is,

there's an energy that come up. that. That's what I'm learning. Like we debase ourselves. We got to debase ourselves decrease to where we just, for lack of a better word, operate off energy because now it gets closer to intent. Now it gets closer to the truth. Now you get closer to knowing who the fuck you around. Now I'm saying? And I said respectfully. I'm saying because for me to get this understanding, that's crazy. I had to be broken. I had to go through mad shit in life, bro. Still going through the glean to freely give it, though. Praise the Lord.

I'm grateful for that because he ain't have to fucking choose me. I'm grateful for it. But it's like, you know, me and my man Reggie always talk about it. It ain't about forcing because a person couldn't force me. And when you try to force it with laws, regulations and all that, you're going to breed that rebellion. But when you just showing love, I'm saying, and, you know, patience and understanding.

And that's what I had to learn to do to myself, bro, because I could look back and say the same shit. even though I didn't take advantage of these things. Like, after I was 18, still in the game, I went to Hudson Valley Correctional Facility. Hudson Valley Correctional. Hudson Valley Community College, look, I went to jail right after that. But I just got my fucking ID and schedule and never went back.

Because in my mind, I'm like, yo, when the police pulled me over, I can just back my fucking ID. I'm like, yo, I'm a college student. I was, I got, it was a rush, you know what I mean? I was the pride shit, you know, but. When you realize like, yo, you ain't slicking in a can of oil, your motherfucker, that was the hand of God on your life. It starts to humble you.

Do you think that if your mom had your adopted mother saw you were failing in school, she would have, you know, been a tentative to make sure you weren't selling drugs or in street life? See, that's a good question. That's a good question. All right, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, uh. So, let me say for the record that she didn't promote that shit. She didn't promote that. But once again, what the fuck she going to do with something?

somebody that's outwardly rebelling. She's old. You know what I mean? So after a while, I feel like it was just like, you know, well, listen, you know I don't agree with this shit, but when you get locked up and you call, I'm gonna come because I'm your mother, even though we be knocking heads.

And that's what it was, like, now I mean, after 15, I went to, my first time going to jail was at 16. I kept going, you know, from 11, all the way to fucking 22, I was back and forth for institutions, was out for four years, and went back again this last time and came out two years ago and everything has changed.

So that has been the thread of my life, bro. Like a lot of people can't say that neither, bro. Or they look crazy, you know what I'm saying? And respectfully, they don't look, but this is the grace of God. And we'll get into this. They want to know how I got scratched. We're going to get into that.

Did you ever do the drugs or are you always just sold? Hell no, never. This shit is a natural high. I'm living in the city, you heard? I never tried no cocaine. I never, you know what I'm saying? We come from that cloth.

What I look like, you know what I'm saying? Getting high on my own supply. And I'm telling you I'm old Brooklyn. Biggie Smalls told us not to do that. Ten crack commandments, I'm saying? Hell no. And that's not the shit on nobody because I know so many people that succumb to that, bro.

But once again, God is good, bro. I, none of my, you know, I smoke a lot of weed, you know what I'm saying? But I never came to no vice, man. You know what I mean? And I never caught no sale indictment neither, man. And I say that respectfully. And I'm saying, we don't got a knock on wood because it's all in the light. Like, people that know, no, and I can really say that, bro.

Since I was 15 years old, if you know, you know, I never went to jail for no drugs. And I've been living at a level of comfortability and a ghost since I was. 15, bro. Living a double life, not for drugs. Never, wow. What? I told you I'm a ghost. No, if I'm like,

ask the people that connected us, bro, and I say this respectfully. No, no, I'm just saying it's all in the life. This is good for me too, you know, this is therapy, yeah, thank you, you know what I mean? Yeah, I'm a therapist. Like my son, maybe I'll come back. I'm a non-licensed therapist.

Right, right, right, you're unlicensed therapists. You know, good content. We try to go up, man. But, yeah, hell no. So when you were at your peak selling. Hello, I'm Bruce Fubber. Are you looking for a powerful cleaner that removes tough grease and grime from nearly any surface? Simple green gets the job done safely.

With hundreds of uses around your home, yard, officer garage, this versatile cleaner is your secret weapon for spring cleaning. In fact, I'm so certain you'll love Simple Green that if you aren't 100% satisfied, I'll refund your money. Try Simple Green today. Do you have to kick up to the bloods at all or is it's completely separate? So, see, so, yeah, so my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, I didn't, that was a lot different than gang life in prison. So, if you know, you know, with that. And I mean, gang life outside is different from gang life and once again, gang life, when I was actively banging is a lot different from now, you know, so, so I didn't, that was another thing I was blessed with. I, I, I didn't, uh, I had my own thing going on as far as with my, my money shit. Now I mean, now, as far as me and my big homie and my homies, I did what I needed to do, you know, with them because you know it's different sets and all that.

You know how that go, whatever the case may be, now I mean, but as far as, like, kicking it up, I wouldn't say that I had to kick it up. It was willing, whatever's needed. There we go. Thank you. It's coming back. A kitty.

You know, and I'm not one of them niggies that's going to be here, just a shit out. That's not my body. But once again, to magnify the goodness in the, in these structures. So like a kitty is something that's put to the side for people in need.

This is the blood I came up under. Brotherly love, overrised oppression and destruction. That's what I came up under. And, you know, that's, that's, that's once again, what was, what drew me. Now I'm saying?

Because I felt like I was under a lot of oppression where I was at. And those are one of the things that I loved. Like, we would make sure that our brothers was good. You know, everybody put something in.

jail you got a kitty. You just put soups in that or you put you know soaps in it you know what I mean but yeah there was a kitty outside but as far as like me and my own trajectory yo my big homie like the people I was around and now looking at it and like shout out to him right they wanted me to succeed they that's what I mean by each one teach one yo scrap go keep doing what you doing why why would we taint that think about that that doesn't make sense listen anybody that know with beef and violence come to feds we getting money god is good you know what i'm saying like even then because why because these relationships were in truth

these were my brothers know i'm saying and um for as far as where we were and they and they they still are like i tell them now like you know what i mean uh you know i'm still reping blood but now it's the blood of jesus and it allows me to love you more you heard in it because because whether y'all kill me or not this is who i am it doesn't change i can't change it i've been transformed come give me a hug scrap shit is

lit though. You look somebody in their eyes man and you let them feel that energy because you're not standing in fear because you're in the truth and that shit is just ill, you know what I'm saying? But yeah, so let's get into the jail shit though. Yeah, why do you go to jail?

Yeah, yeah, so I went to jail for a criminal possession of a weapon in the third that shit was crazy. Once again on the humble I went to all this shit was on the humble, bro. I wasn't out there like I said, shooting nobody. I'm saying, I, God is good. You know, he's even saved me from that, you know what I'm saying?

He even saved me from certain situations with, with that, man. But I'm running around with a, I'm 19 at the time. I'm running around with a 357 rubber grip with armor-piercing bullets, Ruga, and I don't got no fucking beef. It just looked good. Like, it seemed like I need, I should have a gun because I got money and I got clocked. It didn't make no fucking sense now looking back because I didn't need it.

I didn't have, you know what I mean? I didn't have active drama, you know, because everything was structured. That's what I mean, the blood shit back then. What are you? Enemy where? We won. Like, it was enemy wear.

It's love. This shit is crazy now, you heard. But, you know, I fucking was moving it one day. I had it put up in coholes. I was moving it. to Albany, I think, for whatever reason. And I, uh, I, like, parked the wrong way in front of a store, bro. Everything happened for a reason.

I get out the car. Now, mind you, I got a car full of people on the car. I get out the car. I get out the store, bro. Police is, like, at the stop sign. I know it's lit, though. And this is anybody that know, Kohos in the mid-2000s was, you know, very racist. Don't go through there.

Like, they're going to jam you. you know, I had a, I had a infinity at the time, you know what I'm saying? Shit was a drug dealer car, as they call it. And, yeah, I got in the car, he started following me. We made it to the supermarket. He came out. The gun is in the trunk. You know what I'm saying?

He came out, and he come to my car door, and I couldn't turn that arrogance down because at this time, you know, I got lawyers on retaining and shit. You know what I'm saying? Like, I'm like, boy, you can't go in my fucking trunk. I got a license. Remember, I'm thinking that fucking, that school. picture going to save me. Whoa, bro.

College kids don't have guns. Right, college kids don't have guns. And I wear glasses, you know what I'm saying? I know how to articulate myself. You know what I'm saying? This is my ignorance. It's the pride, son, it's crazy. So, because why the fuck did I get in the car?

I should have just ran or something. The fuck did I get into a car? I think was going to happen because I thought I was going to be able to beat it. And, yeah, he came with his energy, you know what I'm saying? And I matched it. And they pulled us out of the car. I don't think he had right to pull us out the car, but they pulled us out the car.

I'm still not, he can't go in that fucking trunk. Like, that's my mindset. Like, the trunk is locked. You can't go in there. And he had the, I didn't even have to keep, I feel like they locked me up for, like, disordly conduct, arresting me, put me to the side.

They, my man had weed on him. They arrested him. Back then, you can't handle weed. He had like an ounce of weed. They arrested him. Now, that gives them right to search the car. That's what they really wanted was the weed. You remember back then it's lit.

He searched the car, but the trunk is still locked. And the fucking toe-tucked people, like, came and, like, they opened it. He found the gun. Boom. Fast forward. The gun and the bullets are separate. The gun isn't loaded. I got the bullets in the book bag and the gun, like, in another place in the trunk.

Now, that changes the whole game, you heard. but because it wasn't like in my possession it wasn't in my waist and nothing like that and it wasn't loaded but they're going hard over the bullets bro fuck the gun why do you have armor pierce and bullets and this is then it's not now but I probably be regular now they don't give up this is back then in this town

this little ass town New York City you and this little town what the fuck are you doing I'm saying and um yeah wow that's not all that happened so I always was dirty when I was riding around. But, you know, I would keep the work tough. Anybody that no, no, you got to boof it, now I'm saying?

Booth it before you lose it. You know what I'm saying? If you know, you know. You know what I'm saying? So I keep it boofed or cheeked, you know what I'm saying? And so I brought it back with me to the jail. You know what I'm saying? Like, you ain't going to get this because this is regular.

I get locked up for a little bullshit arguing with police, and I'm saying because I was on that, and I mean? And I had to work with me. I was, that's the stupid shit that used to give me a thrill. Like, yo, I just went in there with an ounce of cracker came out with it.

Like, dumb shit. So I had it. But when they transferred me from the, like the precinct to the actual jail now, motherfucker like, yo, we're going to search you, like strip search you. Now, I got it cheap. It ain't boosted at the time

because I thought I was getting out. I'm like, nah, you're violent. Like, Bro, we get into a scuffle, Albany County, we get into a scuffle. I'm scuffling with like three, four police. I want to break in one of their jaws, right? But they violated me.

So at this point, they know I got something. Yo, these niggas fucking got me to the ground and got that, pause. Like, whoa, like that shit was crazy. Like, I was tight. But I had to hold it down because they impressed, charges on me for breaking sun joy. Because they violated me.

Whoa, they violated me. Like, oh, we see it. It's poking out. It's poking out. Go get it. You know what I'm saying? Like, you know what I mean? And, yeah.

So, like, I'm saying that to magnify because you know how this shit go. Nicks bring jugging. It's lit. Like, these traumatic experiences that we have to endure. I just came here to let them see what it really look like.

Not no boo-boo fool shit. Because, you know what I mean? This shit might not have the structure like I said from the beginning that they used to, but anybody, that no, no, this shit is real. This shit is real.

I'm saying? So, like, these are the traumatic experiences that we go and laugh about to each other. Once again, like I said in an animated way. Like, look, I just told you that. They probably like, what the fuck? Like, yo, that them niggas went and got that shit from me scrap, whor, son.

Yeah, a nigga barked out, broke that niggum jordo, son. He's gonna hold it down, so I'ma hold it down. Word, that's good. My nigga, you good? You good? Yo, that shit was wild, son. No ditty, B. And we lit. Like, we go on to another day.

That shit don't make our head down. we endure and persevere. Bro, that shit builds character. Bro, my character came from prison. Ian, I know that to be true. And because not only was it the structure, but what else do we have in prison? OGs, right?

OGs, bro, that's teaching us. And we're going to listen to that motherfucker. You can't listen to an OG in the street. Or you can act like you don't want to listen in the street, but you can't go to where. You're going to show respect, right or right? Yeah, but there's two types of OG. You got the ones that want you to do better,

and then there's the ones that want you to get into trouble in prison. And that's where you got to know that you got to be able to differentiate. And me having that structure early on, and that's what I want to magnify. Let that, let, I want to magnify and mind you, and we're going to get into that too. And as you see, look hot, praise God, man, because of the respect that I still have,

because those are my brothers, and I would never want to, you know, I would never want to dishonor the essence of what we were trying to do. I would never want to shit like, okay, because I'm here, Jesus got me, you crazy? This shit is about love. And I know that I experience true love in certain situations there. Where it was from the base of whatever he could do for me,

giving me his last. Come on, we know that, bro. Giving me his last and really holding me down. Like, I, I ain't experienced shit like that outside. I'm saying? And to where it's like, nah, this motherfucker, we've been in, you know,

we've been in this spot together for two, three years, and this motherfucker really ain't change on me. Like, this motherfucker's really like feeding me, or this motherfucker's really like put me on the phone with my people. Different, bro. Different. But that's when we connect on the same level. So, you know, that helped me from being shown that.

to know the difference because how are you going to know a counterfeit bill unless you got the real Benji next to it? Facts. But if you got the real Benji at first, everything else that's not valid, you know it ain't valid. You got the diamond detector. No, that's Fugazi. That's garbage.

Throw that shit away. You know what I'm saying? And, you know, so those are the things that I want to magnify about that structure because God works in mysterious ways and I'll be the first to say that. I know that to be true because these were all, things that kept me to get to this place. I know where I was at. If I didn't have blood at that time,

I'd be really, really lost. It was for a season. And we evolve. But I would never shit. I would never shit. Even now, we're going to segue to that because that's a good segue. So I go through all that shit on my first bid.

I'm whaling. I'm saying blood shit. I'm in the box four times, right? I'm in the box four or five times, different spots. You know, we cut and shit. We're going crazy. It's fun. I'm saying?

When I pulled up to this spot, they like, nigga, you got to take a deal. You got to eat food. Now I'm saying? And, you know, so you got to prove yourself. Like, you talk about how did you, I mean, it's different in jail. In jail, these niggas don't know you. You know what I'm saying? Everybody's from everywhere.

Listen, this is just what it is. Stay in line, I'm saying? And so. How did you prove yourself? So I just, I just follow. I really just played my position. position, I'm saying? But I think what stood out with me is that, like I said, knowing how to move.

So you got to know when to hold him and when to phone them because sometimes you don't know who testing you, man. And that's what I mean with chestnut checkers. What if he's, you know, your superior is throwing something out to you that he knows wrong to see if you're going to stand for it? That's what I'm saying about Jedi mind tricks and really being sharp and making sure that sword is ginsu. Because we already know it.

is the highest manipulation. What do we talk about? This shit is the ill 48 laws of power. And I'm saying? Everybody is on that type of time. You know, so I think what made me shine and kept me from people, you know, really, me getting the real drama, bro,

because I always was honest. As I say here and I think about that, because to any real right, that is a better attribute than being the first one to go cut somebody, come on, he's truthful. because I don't want nobody around me. I got to figure out. That don't make no sense.

I'm going to fuck how to him. Especially if he alive while. Why do I? No, I want somebody that I got peace around that I know is, and I'm saying, and remember, it's about controlling your spirit. I'm saying, it's time to be lit and know like, all right, this is cool now, whatever the case may be. But at the same time, we got to be able to come to other people,

other people places. And, you know, I was able to do that. But when it was time to get busy, I got busy. How the fuck not? Listen, listen, man, anybody that no, no, man, God is good. You gonna know who got busy and who didn't by their fucking face. If you was really in the loop, what are we talking about? You're gonna know.

And I say that to say this, right? Like, back in the day, if you got a big blast on your face, a buck 50, it was because you did something really bad because that's the ultimate form of like, you know, he could have just fought you. And back then it was so much honor that nobody's sucker punching nobody. Nobody's cutting people.

My last bid, motherfucker, these kids is cutting people in their sleep, bro. Imagine that. These kids, they're not little kids, but these kids, this generation is, because there's no remorse. Who gives a fuck? There's no disson.

There's no rules of engagement. I cut you in your sleep, bro. You crazy? You know what I'm saying? I'll drop a fucking small locker on you in your sleep. Like, you crazy? These are things that's going on, bro. I mean?

But back then, And it was different. It was like, no, yo, come on, let's go to the bathroom. Oh, yo, go get your gun. But you don't got a gun here. I got one for you. That's the cloth, bro. And we're not promoting violence,

but to be able to perceive the thread of honor. That shit go back from being a samurai. Now I mean? Because me stabbing him in his back is dishonorable to me. How am I come around a bunch of eagles now with that stain? That I did some dishonorable shit like that. But that's not going around now, bro.

and yeah some of us might be a little fry from the institution but also from standing in truth bro we outside you gotta stand

in the midst of all this shit come on son that's not easy bro because you you know on the narrow path

few travelers they're on it's not a lot of people like yeah you're doing the right thing Sean keep going

yeah you're right uh uh so then When you do have people, you honor them. Like I said, so throughout my bids, man, way before the Jesus juice shit came, I had people that allowed me to be Vincent. That's crazy.

You're Vincent, my nigga. You good. Imagine somebody telling you that he's a gangster. Imagine somebody telling you that and this nigga got three fucking lockers full of food. This nigga got mad money, he got mad jewelry on in the spot. And he's just showing you mad love for no reason.

You, I like how you move, Shorty. That shaped my life. I never regret none of that shit. You crazy? And I know that Christ don't want me to. I know he don't want me to because it's hoping that happened. Fuck out of here. Come in a way.

Tell me what happened. That shit happened. That nigger showed me love. That nigga asked about my mother. That, this shit is crazy shit. We locked up. We're on the burn. We can't even eat

because this dumb nigga just did something to somebody in there instead of doing it on the walkway now they don't burp the fucking spot yo son

listen I got a suit for you B, you good yeah I'm good boy so what does that do encourage you to move accordingly like oh shit you keep it low

but imagine why because somebody did that to him and he passed it down but it's a secret society all we ask is trust man now I mean so that shit go hand in hand Like, you know what I mean, with the whole jail stigma of structure and oppression.

But, bro, I could vouch that that pressure was used to be a furnace of affliction that made my goal more pure, bro. I know that to be true because I overcame that shit. I'm about to be 37 years old. That shit ain't washed me. And trust and believe my shit used to be way more upy than this, but you know, I got a herniated disc. Let's put that out there. My son, you know, look good.

So we still keep up with these things that we learn there. Like, health is wealth, motherfucker. Get up and do your push-ups at least. Yeah, I do my push-ups every morning. I know you do, I can tell. I've been rocked those every morning. But what does it do to your whole fucking body? Don't that the shit of release, you know what I'm saying?

Yeah. It's sturdy you up for the whole day, bro. It does. I feel like you get those push-ups in the morning, and it's good. It gets a good pumping, you know. So how do you get the scar? Do you get that in prison?

Boom, this is the last time. So yeah, let's fast forward to that. Okay. So what do you go to prison for for this last bid that you were in? Some sucker ducker shit. This is COVID. For fucker, you ever heard of drug court? Yeah.

You heard of drug court? Yeah, so you got a drug court violation. So you got a, you did get caught with drugs. No sale indictment. I got caught at A ball of Coke. Now I'm saying? So you did get caught though. Yeah, I got caught with drugs.

Oh, just with a pill. Right, right. It was on the humble again in my car. Okay. That ain't the same. Y'all didn't fucking catch what I was doing, I'm saying? I mean, that money got spent.

But anyway, I said it to say this. Because we can't miss this part, how I got to that place, bro. And I'm going to do it quick. Do you feel like you were too smart for your own good sometimes? Because why were you driving around with that to begin with?

Bro, of course it's too. It's, fuck, too. You know what I equate? That's who pride. Yeah. Your pride was in the way. Was it? I got into trouble because of my pride, man.

It was all pride, bro. If I wasn't prideful, I would have been to fucking square because I had opportunity to go to college and be making a lot of legal money. Why the fuck? It ain't like I didn't. I could say that some people really don't have those opportunities in.

I wasn't one of them, bro. I negated him. I negated them. I was blind. I was blind. I liked the lawlessness of, well, we all probably like his men. And like, I'm doing what the fuck I want to do.

And I'm not going to fucking stop until something stopped me. That's prison for a lot of us, bro. And then you see other people's stories. Like even if you don't tell them, you know, we're all paying attention and we be like, God, damn. Like, my shit ain't like that. It humbles you, bro. Yeah.

And then you're like, how the fuck am I around them? Like, yo, I'm being real. Like, and I ain't no fucking, you know what I'm saying? I ain't no slouch. But I'm like, yo, these niggas. Yo, all right, let me just be million. And I'm saying? And then you be like, yo, they real people, though.

life circumstances, bro. We don't choose them, bro. I do believe that we are, because I heard this and I like the way they put it, like, where are some of our own decisions? And that is true. You know what I mean? We, you know, we manifest those things

with our decisions, but, you know, when I got out of jail, because this is where everything changed for me. And I had to show y'all me naked and unashamed to really glorify what God is able to do. So imagine being somebody that never got burned, bro, but always played in the fire.

I always played in the fire. And when I say never got burned, I mean like, yeah, I went through all these things, but it didn't temper me. It didn't temper me, you know what I'm saying? And, you know, 2014 is when everything changed. I went to jail for a parole violation. This is still from the 09 shit.

So I had three violations, bro. I'm a predicate violator. Because parole back then was crazy. We all know. Parole now was sweet. Parole back then was crazy, bro. That shit was worse than a bid. So I violated three times.

And on my last one, I was a predicate violator. So the judge told me to my face because your predicate now, you have to get a mandate. Like, you get in the year now. Like, all that 90-day shit is out of the one. No. And um, 2014, I went to Hudson Correctional Facility. They just opened it. It was an alternative to incarceration. So instead of doing that year, you know, they let me do the 45 days. And that in itself was like peculiar to me. Like, oh, okay, I'm blessing. Definitely was still about to do

what I was going to do when I got out. And two weeks in a, in a, you know, that bid, I called home. my baby mother at the time told me that, you know, my oldest daughter who was from a, you know, a previous relationship, I got two baby mother's four kids had cancer, bro. I'm like, yo, yeah, we're at the hospital. Had the hospital for what?

Jemaiah, they found a tumor, her kidney. What are you talking about? Yeah, we're at the hospital, they're taking it out right now. I said, you listen, I call you back, click, boom. Now, at this time, I'm getting drugs into jail, bro. like I got status with this gang shit I'm feeling myself bro I got a whole operation

outside at the time like this is before the league of weed we getting the weed coming from Colorado this is anybody that no no like we get the weed in the mail like you know all of it could come to the light God is good we don't glory in it though shit is lit right so this is what I'm going

home to like it don't change this is what it is and that happens I don't want to hear that shit because of what it conjured up in me. What rose up in me was opposing my pride. But I was so stuck in pride that I'm, that's my daughter. And I'm like, click.

Talk about the devil having a hole on you. I'm ever getting off the phone. Hudson Correctional Facility at the time, anybody that know, no, they tore it down or whatever. They had rooms, bro. It wasn't cells. I had a key to the room, bro. Shit was bugged out. Five minutes.

room I was in like a two-man room though. I go to the room. As I'm walking that green mile it seemed like to go to the room. I felt the lump in my throat, bro. You know that lump when you want to cry, but then you just swallowed the lump. I swallowed the lump and I just felt crazy. I rushed to my room because I'm like,

yo, I can't cry in front of the homies. Weird shit. Like, why I couldn't cry? I got in that room, bro. And I just felt. Now I know it's the presence of God. It's just heavy on me like, yo, it's okay. That's your daughter.

Let it out. Bro, I just started crying, let everything out. That shit was way more than my daughter's shit. I let everything out. I ain't never, I ain't, yo, bro. I wasn't hugged. I ain't hugged my mom in years. Like, it was no emotional attachment, bro.

It was bugged out. And I let it all out. And when I let it all out, I remember saying God, because he was always there, and I'm saying? He was always there. I always had a relationship with him. I just wasn't surrendering.

I just didn't tell nobody. But I'm like, yo, listen, say my daughter, right? And I'm going to lead this drug shit alone and his blood shit alone. Save my daughter. And that was to the extent of my revelation to him. So I got filled with faith after that. I get on the phone. I'm like, yo, she's going to be good.

They're like, yo, you are I? I'm like, yeah, she's going to be good. Watch this. Boom. But right from there, I just kept on with my life. Like, I still was smoking weed in the jail. But now I was feeling weird about it. And then, like, a couple days in, if I'm lying, I'm flying, bro.

The guard like, yo, it's 12 o'clock. The guard like, yo, come to the bubble. Ah, the bubble, what the fuck am I coming to the bubble for? I'm talking about it's 1 o'clock. If these niggins see me coming to the bubble, that's not a good look. But something told me go to the bubble. And it's 45-day program. I'm trying to get the fuck out of here.

And I'm saying? I ain't trying to get no ticket. go to the bubble. I thought he was going to whip me out, though. You know, you're going to beat me up. He's like, if I'm lying, I'm dying, bro. He's like, yo, listen, I don't know what you was praying about, but I was just praying.

It's like 12 o'clock. So you know, the police at that time is overnight. That nigga about to go to sleep. He was like, he was like, yo, I was just praying. And God told me to call you out here and read the Bible with you. I'm like, what? But I'm not who I am now. Now it's Lydia in the city.

But I'm like, I'm still like, I ain't telling nobody about no fuck. What the fuck? Like, people can think I'm crazy. And I still don't even believe like that. Yeah. So I'm like, but I knew enough. Like, just here we got to say.

This is some crazy shit. Fuck it's good content. If not, nothing else, it's good content. He started. I don't remember the scriptures or whatever, but I remember I went to myself like, oh, shit. I'm like, yo, the fuck was that. And then.

like a week later I never forget bro I'm like oh shit I'm really about to go home I'm like but I made that pack with God like what am I gonna do for money

like I ain't gonna hold you I'm like it was easier to let the blood shit than the money shit hey I'm gonna keep it funky I'm like God what I'm gonna do like I don't want you to kill my daughter what am I gonna do about money look how good God is

because I wasn't strong enough to deny that shit You know, a week later, they're like, yo, you got to visit or come down, it's my baby moms. Yo, my plug was in California, bro. It's my baby moms and my plug, bro. You can't make this shit up. Remember, nobody knows what I'm praying about. I just pray to ask God to help me, like,

what the fuck am I going to do about this money situation? Because I'm going to go back selling drugs, though. I don't know what I'm not going to be broke. What the fuck? I'm not going to be here with nothing. Yo, the plug came. I'm like, yo, it's good, boy. I'm like, yo, anything good.

He's like, yo, check it out. It's over. Huh? He's like, yeah, it's over, bro. I'm like, what's you talking about? He's like, yo, I went to church on Sunday. And like, it was a prophet or pastor, some guy there that was like, yo, come up to the altar and, yo, bro, he just was telling me shit about myself.

He said, yo, I'm done. He said, God is real. I'm done. I said, I'm big Brooklyn, bro. I'm like, I'm not showing nobody, bro. That shit fuck me up, bro. I'm like, what the fuck? That's two.

Now remember, three in the row make the rooster crow. Three in a row make the rooster crow. So I go home, boom. Now, sun is in California. I'm like, all, fuck it. I ain't fucking with him, I guess. I got a local plug. That's in New York.

He around the corner. I'm like, yo, I'm home. He's like, come around the corner. I go around the corner, I blow some phone up for a half hour. He don't come downstairs. It was five minutes ago. Now I'm scared to death, bro.

Three in a row make the rooocrow. I said, oh shit, God is real. This is fucking crazy. Because what God to do is he'll bear witness to himself. So as it's going on, he's bringing shit to my remembrance. Like, I told you that, right?

Or you remember asking me to help you? Crazy shit, bro. Because he's not going to be. to force nothing. God is love. A gentleman is never going to force himself on you. The spirit of God, which is holy, is never going to force himself on you, but he'll show you and then tenderly encourage you like a parent to the truth. And so I'm like, I can't deny that eye, boom. So now I just lock in, bro. Now at this time, like I said, I got the baby moms, you heard. Shout out to my baby moms, Reggie. Shout out to my baby moms. Whoa. Shout out

to both of them. 18 and Cassandra, man. Shout out to y'all and all that you do for the kids, man. But her parents is church people. You heard? That's crazy. I called them that. But everybody can relate to that.

I mean, they're in the church, man. They older, they're in the church, man. I come out. I'm like, yo, 18, God is real. This was going on. Listen, we got to get married. And this is literally, like, you know, I'm on the car.

Come home, so, you know, I'm trying to get my shiboying-boing going. You know what I'm talking about? And I'm trying to get the shiboying, boing, shiboying-boying. And I'm like, oh, shit, now I'm bugging. Now, we're going to get back to that. Now, remember what I said. I didn't hear God say that. Remember that.

I thought I was bugging because at that point, all I know is what people tell me about God. Keep it there, right? So I'm like, oh, shit. I just remember, remember, I'm telling God, if I do right, you're not going to kill my daughter. Remember, this is the relationship about, this is the perception of God I have. done, right? So I'm trying to do everything right. So now, yo, bro, if I'm lying, I'm dying, right? I tell it we can't have no sex. It should get lit, bro.

I tell her we can't have sex. And then she like, like, remember, I was a bad boyfriend, bro. I was the one that she was chasing pregnant in clubs and she, you know, women like that, you know, it's not cool, but I feel like, you know, she, she accepted that more because it made more sense than who the fuck is this? That don't make no sense. And I'm saying? And yeah, we went to her dad.

And, you know, I'm like, yo, this is what's going on. God came to me and, you know, I'm trying to surrender my life. And, you know, they like, I get married. So that was wild, bro. We was like 23, 24. But in the midst of this, my heart is being wooed to do my own. seeking. So yeah, I'm doing the motions of going to church with the family and, you know, then we eventually got married, little celebration and now, you know, because we had a daughter

and I'm in church three times out the week. Now let's get to the blood stuff, right? I ain't tell nobody yet because I'm weak, mad weak. Like, I just don't come around. But then one day God was like, trust me, like, go holl at them. I'll never forget. I went to my son Gully and I'm like, yo, bro, because this wasn't done in prison. I'm saying? This was done, you know what I mean? Outside.

Remember that. So then I go to Gully and I tell him like, yo, bro, son. Mad, scared, though. Like, he was going to do no, but just to fear of rejection. You know what I'm saying? And I'm like, yo, bro, I met Jesus, bro. And I thought he was gonna, he was like,

yo, bro, you want to know what's crazy? I grew up with somebody and he did the same shit. And he got a church now. And we're laughing and shit. And I'm just like, he's like, yo, bro, I love you, bro. Like, just be real. That's what I'm saying. That's what I've always been around.

That common denominator authenticity. Like, just be real. If whoever you are, be real. I'm going to respect that. That's crazy, you know what I'm saying? And so, yeah, bro, for four years, I locked in with, with God. But it was through the structure of the church that, you know, I thought that I was supposed to be in.

that's what my wife at the time was in. I said that to say, man, that in those, those, within that element, newfound element, I started to learn things not only about myself, but about human nature. And this is what set me free.

Nothing is new under the sun. All things that was, will be, and all things that, nothing new under the sun All things that was will be And all things that How does that shit go? We'll come back to that.

Whoa, that's crazy. That don't usually happen. But I learned like the same shit That goes on with human nature wise A thousand years ago It's going on now, bro. That's why we're able to see Those similarities with the kindergarten shit

Where there's the end crowd And those divisive things That's just what I had to learn. And no matter how much I tried to fit in with this, for lack of a better word, new game that I put myself in, and I'm telling you my perception of it, right? There was a, there wasn't a common denominator. And then one day, man, no matter how, you know, because I changed my whole life, bro, I got a job. So many miraculous things happened.

I got a job worker for the state. Crazy things that I wouldn't expect. I was a very, very, very faithful husband. I was, you know, doing the Mr. Mom thing. I didn't go out. I did everything that I believed I couldn't my power to, you know, be what I thought was righteous. And in the end, bro, it all fell.

And that's how I went back to jail. Because my marriage dissipated. Now, I could sit here and point fingers. because I was at that place. But after, you know, this is eight, nine years ago. But after, you know, reflecting, we realized that you reap what you sow. You get a harvest of the things that you planted. So, you know, and me devoting myself to the church,

I neglected my husbandly duties to my wife. Because I wasn't bringing out. I'm thinking, like, we can't do none of that. And we mad young at the time. So long as we short, you know, life we split. And, you know, that shit was crazy because, you know, we ultimately tried not to, even though after prayer was like, yo, you know, you need to, you need to allow me to show you something different. The fucking roof for the neighbor fell and we had to get out the crib.

And she went one way, I went another way. that led to what brought me to this bid. You know, around that time, I had got a Facebook message talking about, yo, I think you're my brother. So now in the midst of all this spiritual shit that's going on, I just found Christ. Now my fucking biological family

who I didn't meet until I was like 26 just pops up. My mother looked just like me. Shout out to Tiffany. Shout out to the Ashley's all that good stuff. You know what I'm saying? And we just fall right in line. Like it never happened.

You know what I'm saying? And, you know, all that was implemented strategically because my mother, and I'm sure that I could say this, remember I got two mothers. Shout out to Priscilla. Shout out to Tiffany. But my mother wasn't in a place to do what she felt was do me. And I had to learn that what I thought was a curse was really a blessing.

She could have fucking aborted me. She's mad young with fucking kids. She didn't abort me. And then I here go this, she's mad young, but here go this old lady coming and fucking pick me up. That's a blessing, bro. And I'm here. I'm saying so, you know,

once my marriage fucking went left, I got back into another identity crisis because I thought that my circumstance defined my identity. I didn't meet Jesus yet. I was going off of what was shown to me religiously, but what may sense logically, one plus one equal two, one plus one equal two, one plus one equal two, one plus one equal two. God done show me in, he could make one plus one plus one equal whatever he want. What are you talking about? Put the seatbelt on and enjoy the ride,

be free, walk on the water. You know what I'm saying? And yeah, bro, I had to go back to a place where the rebellion started. Remember, I told you it was identity, and I told you to pay attention to that, because when my daughter got that cancer who God healed in six fucking months, she lost all her hair at six, all type of crazy shit.

I take her to chunky cheese. What she says? She's like, yo, daddy, I don't want to put the wig on. I'm starting crying. She don't want the wig. And then now she's beautiful, bro. 17, got the own job, hair down to her asses, Liddy in the city.

She got one kidney, though. but look we went on all a make-a-wish vacations for free and I'm like you better always honor this shit

you know the type of there that died it's kids you know what I'm saying you overcame all this don't never forget that because she's beautiful bro my daughter is you know half Spanish beautiful

and I try to get her to pay attention to these things man because it'll always come back like how I'm able to finally tell my story bro for the first time through and through but see organically

how even in front of you on the spot it's weaving in and I'm like wow that's crazy that's crazy and it's a blessing to me because it continually encourages hope keep going you can't let nobody define you by where you are today you know what I'm saying so you know that last bid bro that that was because I was

went from the churched out motherfucker to now I'm depressed again how do I get out of the depression I'm not going to go and sniff no dope or I ain't going to cut myself I'm going to go womanize oh she don't want me watch this shit

that's what happened bro but it brought me to a dark place because then you start forgetting who you are forgetting like oh shit I'm the righteousness of God through Christ oh shit it's by grace we are saved through faith

because if it was of ourselves we would get credit to boast about it nah son that's what sets me free and I realize like me boasting in my weaknesses and always making that apparent because the light is going to shine bro but if I always make that apparent then God gets the glory bro because he didn't tell me to come in here and not be me some people may think it's arrogant that's my personality bro and I'm mad grateful like I'm beating down every day but I get it because how do you get the lemonade you?

You squeeze that lemon. I understand now, bro. Because what the fuck doesn't matter if you overcoming it every day? What are we talking about? That's the litty shit. Like, oh, shit. That's how you get gains, bro. You put more on the bar, bro.

I like burpees, yo. You like burpees? Yeah, of course. Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile, the message for everyone paying big wireless way too much. Please, for the love of everything good in this world, stop. With Mint, you can get premium wireless for just $15. a month. Of course, if you enjoy overpaying, no judgments, but that's weird.

Okay, one judgment. Anyway, give it a try at mintmobile.com slash switch. Up front payment of $45 for three-month plan, equivalent to $15 per month required. Intro rate for three months only, then full price plan options available. Taxes and fees extra. See full terms at mintmobile.com. Yeah, let's talk about that. The burpies shit, you know what I'm saying, full body workout? But at first, what? You see, you know, because everybody trains people in the burp, you don't just start doing burpees. You get on somebody burpee team.

And you're always the motherfucker on the floor at first because you have to break the mold, bro. You know, we know. But then you, it's so amazing because, bro, once you break that threshold, now, motherfucker, bro, I was doing 300 burpees a clip in my heyday, bro. And I probably could have did more because you're like, what the fuck?

I'm not tired. Because you've conditioned your body, bro, to do things that you don't think you could do. Because it's that ceiling of what seeming death It's the same spiritually, bro, like, yeah, I can reveal this much, but what if I reveal that? But what if I would? Bro, it's a gift to the world, bro. Everybody's broken this, bro, because if we get back to that, now the denominator's common.

We tear down this fucking hierarchy that the powers that be that we are not fucking a part of, man, because there's already a separation than that. Try to implement for us to having our own little-ass lives. That don't make no fucking sense, bro. Let them deal with that shit With all that money account With that crazy shit We're going to implement that

At the bottom We're all at the bottom That's fucking crazy But it's human nature Because yeah But I want to feel good at the bottom But I had to realize What Jesus say, man

He said listen man The greatest one in the room Gonna make himself the least That's fire Yo come here son Let me let me tie your sneaker boy You talk about Yo come here man

Like yo you bugged out, son. Nah, son, Jesus, juice. Choose life. Why would you choose death as Lidia in the city, man? And we realized that our experiences in life, Ian, or what I've realized, man, are used to shape us into the bait

that we use to fish for people, bro. Because it's all about who we touch with what we, I can only give you what I got, is what I'm saying? And what I got comes to what I've been through. It don't go no other way. And we all have a trajectory that it's supposed to be.

You know what I'm saying? So this bid that I did this time, I went in there knowing that. But look how it get crazy, Ian, because remember, I laid the blood shit. So now I ain't no blood. I'm not, right? But when I go back up north,

which I don't understand how to fuck this shit happened, I'm like, how to fuck? Because this during COVID. So the reason why I went to jail was because during COVID, I thought I was slicking in a motherfucking fox again.

I'm like, Oh shit, it's COVID. Ain't no fucking courts. They shut everything down. I was outside for that. I could smoke. Sucker duck of shit. That's what they locked me up for.

It led to the shit. Smoke I get jammed. And I get jamming. Yeah, that's interesting. That's good content. So drug court, yeah, and I'm putting it on blast. I can put it on blast. That's crazy.

I can put it on blast. Truck court, New York, Troy, New York, right? The person they had doing the drug test, bro, was gang. He wasn't from him. He just was like a peer. He was like our age, bro. And for four months, the guys is telling me like, nigga, you could smoke, boy.

He's going to pass you. I'm like, I ain't fucking with that. But then one day, I'm just like, yo, let me see what. No, it was, it was, it was, the COVID shit or whatever. And he let it rock. So then we had an understanding. And then one day he wasn't there no more.

He got jammed up, but I still was dirty. So now I'm like, oh shit, what I'm going to do? So now you know how we do, bro Like anybody that know, no, no, that's the other part of parole, man. Other part of parole, just keep up, man, catch up mustard. We everywhere with it, but if you're looking with your eyes open, it's going to make sense.

We on parole back in the day wanting to smoke weed because of rebellion and what you got to do, Ian, you got to be on your water game. You got to drink a lot of fucking water. But what comes from a lot of water, Ian, a lot of urine? Right? You fucking pissing everywhere.

And then they teach you this, right? They like, yo, listen, this is how. How bugged out it is. Yo, listen, you got to get three pisses out. Listen, anybody that no, no, you know this is official. So if I'm telling the truth about this, I'm telling the truth about everything. Pay attention.

You got to get three pisses out, man. And then if you really want to get Liddy in this city, you're going to taste it to make sure it's Aquafina. If you're a real gangster, what are you talking about? If you're a real gangster, we win all the shits. Literally, oh, you got to bring that back. You'll, I go get it son. Yo, my son be catching this shit.

My son is ill. Like, what you mean he ill? he'll be catching no ditty you know what that mean that mean he gonna go to the floor and he gonna catch it yeah i mean we're gonna bring the i mean it's gonna we're gonna connect the dots he gonna go get that come back with that so we could split that but what does he have to do to go get it he has to fucking shit it out and he has to go in the toilet and separate it from his shit and bring it to the to the sink and wash it and break it down oh this for this homie this for this home this for this home and we all this is the camaraderie what we want yeah listen what what what's son is this is this is

on pop, son. Because if you know, you know. And this is, this is the ground. This is the good soil that can build good character, bro. In the midst of wrong. I'm telling you it's so big God is good, bro. Because it's about the root, the nutrients. We all in different places, bro.

Let God be the judge. But understanding that, like, you know, like, like loyalty and, you know, follow instructions. I align it to the Marines. bro. Jail to me, what I learned in gangs and in jails is what the Marines

learning the Marines. I know that to be true. The same shit, I know that to be true. And it's the same like intensity. Oh, crap, what? The workout shit? Any, me and my workout squad

up north go against any Marine. You crazy? We heavy on the hit training. What we're talking about? High interval training, cross-fit, shit like that. Y'all still trying to get big. We over here lean and mean, you heard?

So it's amazing when God opens your eyes to do what? Break the wall down in? Because who would be able to fathom that a highly decorated Marine would be able to associate with a highly decorated gang member in jail? You know they could.

If they allowed themselves to. Because you represent the same principles. I guarantee y'all both let each other talk. I guarantee you I both let each other talk. deal with each other with the same respect, bro. I guarantee I've been around them, bro. I'm one of them. Same shit that you won't be able to do with who?

A civilian. Because they don't know, bro. But imagine that. And that's why I have to keep myself free to continue to bring the message how I'm bringing it. It ain't for everybody. No, it's for locked in with Ian fucking Bick. And everybody that's watching.

Because it's real, bro. My, I mean, so, yeah, with the shit, you know what I'm saying? With the, with the, with the, with the, with the, with the, with the, with the with the with the with the with the with the with the with the with the with the. But guy was there, man. Whoa, this shit is fire, bro. So boom. I'm back in, I'm in a county first and foremost. I'm cutting.

I cut my fucking ankle bracelet off. I'm like, fuck it. They're gonna put me in shock. I was out for a year and a half getting money. Shit is lit. Got the got the, got to situating myself with my kids, you know, was able to go in with my. money. You know, I like to be comfortable. That was my mind. This is what I was used to. I mean, boozy blood. Let me stop. But I like to be comfortable. And, you know, that was always how I hustle.

Like, you know, we put stuff to the side and make sure that you got enough for a rainy day and a motherfucking lawyer if you need. And then you need money for commissary. You better have that bill. That's what we doing before we buying all this designer stupid shit. Because I'm not going to have to call nobody like, yo, send that bread. And for anybody that's bidding, listen, and I'm not promoting breaking the Lord, but use your fucking head, man. You out there selling drugs, put some money to the side, man, so that when you go somewhere, you can send money home, man. I'm saying, that's honorable.

Once again, we're not promoting this. Choose life. Or would you choose death, you heard? But use your head. At least get into that because I wasn't always choosing life per se, but I was trying to make fucking sense. Like, I wasn't going to be a follower. And that's what I teach my kids, gang.

Like, if you don't do what you know to be real or right, you are fucking follower. That's what helped me because I couldn't understand everything. I was like, do right because it's right. No, I was not doing right because it's right. No, no, no, no. I wasn't there yet. I was doing right. At least what I thought was right in the situation because I ain't no fucking follower.

That's still a pride shit, but look how God use it. You nix is going to have to kill me. You crazy? I'm not, you fucking crazy. Like, nah, this is the stigma, the big Brooklyn. This is the shit that got me through. But now that I'm over the other, other, other, end of it, I'm like, whoa, this is amazing.

Like, God is real. And not only is he real, but he's loving. Jesus really came and died for our sins. We set free. And this is fucking crazy. We're forgiving. Now we can forgive other people. This is fucking crazy.

And it's like, you know, you never know who you will be or who you even are in the midst of the situation because of where you are. So when I go back to the jail and I look how it's segue. This shit is crazy. So I'm in downstate correction facility now. Reception. I mean, I'm in prison now. I'm out to jail.

I'm in DLCs. I mean, Department of Corrections, you got to go to downstate first to process you to go to your actual facility. But this is still a fucking maximum prison, I'm saying? Bro, this is, my last bid is 2009. 2014 is my last parole violation,

but my last bid was, you know, 2009 to like 11, 12. long sweet short i ain't been to jail bro in almost 10 years i have not been actively gangbanging in almost 10 years i've been in the church bro all that shit from leading it was like a blur so i'm still evolving because it needed remember i had to go back to the beginning because that which came from all that religious shit and taking on other people traditions and customs was not who i was created to be it was for me to see that to see what he called me free from and the shit was ill but You know, I'm in downstate

And you know, you got porters and shit It was the billy The porter came to myself And he like had some gas You know, I knew niggas just from being around or whatever But I'm still being low I'm not trying to open up my You know, pause

Open up myself for nobody and shit And then he just was like Yeah, it was popping like And then just naturally I mean, yeah, it was popping Oh, it was popping straight And then naturally I just how did I just

I went to myself like God how I just happened but listen technically I didn't disengage in prison remember Ian I did that at home but God kept it to what you understand like God covered it to where

what I feared didn't happen because I'm heavily involved like now I'm saying and I definitely told the homies out there but it's like I didn't do that the right way bro but I did do it twice way, you know what I'm saying?

And when I went back, it just was crazy how naturally I just, that shit was crazy. And I'm like, I can't turn back. Don't fuck. This is prison. The homie here. Now I got to be crazy. So now I'm like, yo, because you know, there's a lot of shit that happened. Bro, you talk about, bro.

Ian, I went to prison again with a head full of. Narcotics Anonymous. I went to prison with a new heart, bro. If I'm lying, I'm dying. Now, I ain't never been nothing fraud about me, bro, but I was forced to completely let go. Because remember, the religious shit in me is saying that, how am I a blood but I'm a Christian?

How am I a blood, but I'm a follower of Christ? How? That can't be. But I know I believe. And I don't know. And because I believe, I'm like, how is this happening? but I can't understand it so he killed that part of trying to understand

because now I know I could fly I know what just happened in prison for two years so so now it's lit now these niggas is giving me shit because now I ain't the 21-22 year old blood nigga I'm fucking 31 32 my sweat nigga is lit like

respect honor and then I'm talking I'm David, oh what the fuck now I'm saying is they see the energy everything hell boom boom boom now mind you I thought and was hoping that I was going to go to shock because it's a drug court violation, bro.

Bro, she put crazy shit in the PSI because I caught my braces, though. So it's like, yo, he eminicentist society, flight risk, or like dumb shit. So early release was out the window. I didn't prepare for that. My family didn't prepare for that. My kids who I raised, bro,

remember I was a great fuck. And shout out to Vinnie and Jemiah, Judah, and Winter. Vinnie and Jemiah, my two oldest for my first relationship our relationship has been strength working on it because of just prison

bro. Winter and Judah Vinya Jemiah 17 and 16 Winter in Judah is 11 and 9 and I was there up until like 6 or 7

and you know when I left that was so hard for because I'm already not in the house. Blended families, all that shit, they had to go through God tech capital store. But I'm like, yo, daddy be right out. You know, shock.

If I don't get shocked, we're getting work with me. Like, how? I ain't been to jail in 10 years. I ain't, look, I'm churched out. Look, bro, I had mad community people. Bro, I've got mad segments preaching. Like, this shit is real. The juice's been going on.

But we couldn't understand that because this don't make no sense. And I just knew I had to come out. Oh, if I'm not really going to do a bid. Oh, this was just the show that guy's gonna deliver me again. This is what I'm thinking. Nah, son, these niggas dubbed all that shit.

And you know when you're waiting for the paper, you're waiting mad long for fucking, for headquarters to give you your determinations. You don't know. That's what I'm saying. They don't understand the traumatic shit that really builds us though, bro. Look at the people in jail.

Look how we were. And, you know, so now I'm back on my blood shit. But it's so different now because I'm still me. I never changed. So look how it get crazy, bro. I'm still, God is using me to, like, just show love. I ain't even saying nothing about Jesus yet.

It's just magnifying that. Like, highlight and when the niggas show honor, I'd be like, yeah, gang, that was honorable. In language, they could understand. That's wisdom. That was honorable. I don't even know what's going on at the time. I'm just, remember, I'm just there because I don't know what to do.

I don't want to cut nobody, bro. I don't have it in me. I know Jesus. I don't want to hurt nobody. But I don't want to get cut. And I know these niggas will blow my fucking top off like that. Imagine living like that for two years, bro. But look how I get crazy.

This is Lidia in the city. That's why Chris wanted me to come up here, bro. So my first spot, Franklin. I get to Franklin. I'm in there for a week, bro. And the Blas is at war with the Batarias. You know the Batadias? That's the Dominican gang.

Whoa. Trinidad. daddy owes. And, um, I come to the spot. Now, mind you, my whole intent, being there is to pass through, bro. I don't want no smoke. It's a different bit.

I'm a different person. We can feel a piece in the room. God is great. I don't want no smoke. And what kept me was the same piece that we feel right there because I couldn't. And I'm like, what the fuck? But I know how he's, hi.

Oh, not so. We good, not so? Like, this shit. Because we also feel the tension, but I'm like, yo, the piece is over. All right, boom. Just go with the flow. You know, I got there, bro. The first two days there, bro.

One of the ops, I can say it like that because we don't incriminate nobody. One of the ops came in. You know, we're in the day room. No, we're in the dorm area. This is in the day room. You know, we're still putting our stuff together. Like my shit ain't, you know, when you come in a spot, You don't unpack right away.

You don't know if you're going to be there. You know what you're going to be there? I'm starting to put my stuff away. And then, you know, I just see, like, the police rushing, now I'm saying, the squad rushing. Come out, bro. The homie is on the floor. Son was like a big, big homie came through.

Just dead him filthy. Like, probably like 30, 30 cuts, bro. Stabbed him up. The shit was nasty right there on the floor. like, should we come out there, the homie there is shit nasty. I already know, like, here we go, man. I mean, but I'm tight too, though, like, I'm saying.

But the way my heart is, it's like, I'm like kind of in conflict because I'm like, yo, you know, how can I make peace of this? That's always been my, that was my mindset, but I'm like, nigga, chill, like. Once to be short, you know, we got to go to the yard.

you know, you got a report. Like, what the fuck just happened? We in that yard, boy. I'm saying? You know, I'm new to the spot, so I'm still, I'm very observant. Like, a lot of people are different. A lot of people, and I was like that when I was young, proud again.

Like, I'm going to let you nuts dragon. You dumb? That's how the target come on you. What the fuck are you talking about? I'm trying to be low, you know what I'm saying? Pass through. And it just basically came down to, you know, well, the homies that was, so there was,

a homie that was right next to him and watched it. But he was one of the homies that came in with me, knew again, but at the end of the day, he wasn't supposed to watch that. I mean, according to the fuck you doing. You weren't supposed to watch that, I'm saying? You know, push the button on him. Yo, bro, I just, and they didn't like assign me.

I don't know if I felt the vibe, but I jumped to it before they could. You see what I'm saying? But that bugged me out because it just, didn't happen right away. I'm like, yo, I'm a, I'm a back sun safety. Basically, you know what I'm saying? I'm a whole, I'm him down who going to cut him or whatever. And, you know, it seemed like out, because you're waiting for the perfect time, you know, they've lined it up. And really, I'm just following the lead. You know what I'm saying? I'm not a quarterbacking this, and I'm saying? But you can only imagine what's going on

inside me, because I'm revealing to the world, like what is going actually going on inside me. And I think they knew after because it all came for circle. That's why I could speak on it. Because I'm like, am I really going to do this? Bro, I ain't getting to a fight in a long time at this point, bro. You're talking about, I don't know how this goes. I don't know if I lose my date. I don't know how this goes, bro.

I'm like, I trust you, God. And it's like, I get, you know, logically we'll think like, okay, if it's God, God's going to make sure you don't do it, right? Bro, long-soil show, we're supposed to do it. I think in the bathroom with some shit. But son is on the kiosk. And are, they like, yo, we're going to do it now.

He's like, yo, we're going to do it now. I'm like, all right, come on. Whoa. Son on the kiosk? Like I said, man, niggas. And I can put it on that. Fuck out of it, man. God is good, man.

Anybody that's real going to respect it, like, he got cut from behind. That's dishonorable. See, I was dad. That nigga, like even though it's like a little ref- Nah, I'm a stand, bro. I got to because it's what's right. I'm saying, but look, look what I did, though.

I punched him in his face. So they, like, I said, you know what? This was what we succumbed to sometimes? Like, what the fuck I'm gonna do? Like, I wouldn't have did it like that, but fuck it, we're here now. What are we gonna do? Whoa, I hit something.

I can't believe I hit him in. Because it felt good. War with the mommy, you know what that shit? And my shit is up. I'm like, oh shit, I still got. These are what we, we always fight. the flesh, bro. It's about being real about it. He'll give you grace. If you come to him in truth, anything other than that is, fucking lie. Who are you spinning? Nick, like, now, try again.

Whoa, come in truth because it's a battle, he already knows. I mean, and I did that shit, bro. But look what's so ill about boy, right? Boy, boy, boy, try to, boy did hold it down. He didn't take it on the hop. He's like, oh shit, like, and he went to his cube, and then the other dude, his man, right? This white dude came through. He was like, yo, son, I'm going to stitch you up. He stitched that nigga up in this shit. Yo, this is my first couple days in the spot. I'm like, yo, here we go again. But remember, I wrestle with liking shit like that.

It's entertaining. You know, I'm wrestling with it, like, oh, the shit was lit. I'm trying to temper that because I know it's the flesh. Oh, shit was lit like shit. What if I would have cut him? I could be honest about that, bro. And, yeah, son, son, son got stitched up. But you know how the homies is, nigga.

That nigga can't live here. That nigga can't live here. He's out of here, son. We talk about. Tell that nigga to check in or he out of here. Niggas out of here. We're going to blow that nigga again. Pause.

We're going to get him the fuck out of here. Tell that that nigga to check in. They tell him the white boy to tell him that. I'm like, yo, scrap. Listen, though. I'm like, yo, look, why don't we tell boy to just go on the walkway? I ain't know it then.

I didn't know that that was God because I just had to detach, bro, because I couldn't understand how God was going to be. I couldn't understand. I'm blood and I'm gangbanger again. I couldn't understand how he was going to do it, bro. I'm like, yo, boy, no scrap. Why don't we just have him going to walkway

and just say it happened there? Like, and then, you know, he's still out of here so that he ain't get it done to him again, bro. But look how we got to use wisdom, right? He wouldn't have heard me nor other way. They wouldn't have heard nothing else, bro. God is good. Shit is crazy.

That's power. It's freedom. I don't know. But mind you, those reveries, it's not clicking to me then. I'm on autopilot. I want to get the fuck out of it. I don't want to get cut.

It's real. It's my, I don't want to come on cutting shit. That's my mindset. So boom. You know, I start going to the yard, regular shit. You know, I'm always in the yard.

Anybody that no-no, no. I play the yard. I'm a workout, nigga. And I'm a rapper. But, you know, I start getting with the Brooklyn crew. Now I'm saying, nicks, there's blood,

too. But you know, everybody know Brooklyn got their own crew, true, you know what I'm saying? And I'm definitely on my Brooklyn shit when I'm in jail, you know what I'm saying? It's all love, but it's Brooklyn love, Brooklyn loyalty, just that camaraderie, a fit, whatever. And, um, you know, they start basically just like trying to get me to, uh, like join their gangs and shit. Like, it's different sets. And I'm just like, yo, that shit is crazy of peace I feel right now. It's nuts, bro. But like, because I know the

homies gonna go viral and I know the homie's gonna hear, bro, shit is different. And and they, shit is ill shit, bro. But, yeah, you know, niggas trying to get me to come to their set. And I'm just like, yo, shit is mad different. It's not the blood I'm used to. What? We blood, bro. Shit is crazy.

Like, I feel the division. You over there, they over there. Bro, you know that. Like in the yard and all the bloods is indifferent. Come on, son. I wasn't used to that, bro. But I'm playing my position. Who the fuck am I?

I ain't trying to stop nothing. But I'm gleaning. It's been 10 years, Ian. That's the difference. Niggas go back and forth. to jail. It's been 10 years and I was living a whole other life, bro. So I'm looking at it differently. I'm looking at it differently. I'm like, damn, son, like, nah, no, you know what I say, man. I took an oath to never switch my ride nor break my stride,

bro. If you know, you know, nigga. Like, that's what I'm saying. The real gun relate, bro. I took an oath to never switch my ride nor break my stride. That's crazy. And what I'm saying is, God used that to say. made me with Christ, bro, that's how I am with the Lord, bro. Gang. And God is so much bigger to me, it's not just a noun, it's everything. So that's how I am now when it just comes to the kingdom of God, relationship with people. Like, nah, son, like, I'm dedicated to this gang, to unity.

However, it come, however, that's it, nigga. But that don't mean I'm going to negate you because I'm not going to create no separation. Look, anytime it's love or not, we agree to disagree. That's how I'm on it. We just agree to disagree, I'm saying? but yeah boom I don't have no money at the time Ian because I'm that type of nigga like

I got fucking maybe $30,000 in a stash at the crib but I'm still thinking I'm going home through shock you don't need you can't have no money in shock so I'm I'm no I'm I don't care about how I look in here I'm going to the mess old bro because in my mind I'm going home I'm content I'm good this is good for me I'm learning I'm this is new it's like an adventure again. I said all I have to say that, I'm about six months in the spot now. At this point,

I don't think, I didn't, okay, one more situation I had with violence, right? My son come in. My son come in. Wow boy. This nigga, he's Brooklyn blood nigger. One of the Brooklyn niggas, he knew to go home. This Brooklyn blood grimy nigga try to fucking extort the white boy like, yo, you owe son money, so give it to me. But I'm cool with son. I'm cool with everybody to a certain extent. You know, if you're valid, I'm trying to make peace, bro, and it's just been going well. Like, I mean, the homies, we got phones and everything. Bro, God is using me to govern cribs. Nick, I got the phone. I'm putting people on the phone. But they jacking it. Though young niggins is wild. They're cutting shit, but they, like,

they want to do that. So that's chess, too. You're fucking, father, forgive me, but this is just truth. So it's like, if this is what you want, this is how the game was given to me when I came, like, yo, scrap. Because after I, after I did that with them, I'm like, yo, bro, son, I'm trying to make my fucking merry board. And I'm saying, I'm trying to go home. Boy, like, listen, and they respected that. The older homies like, listen, this is exactly what you told me. Like, listen, you see, it's 15 young blood niggas in here, man.

Before you even think they get up, they're going to finish that, nigga. You good. Like, oh, fire. It's fire. Right? I understood because it's chest not checkers, bro. You know what I'm saying? That's why you need to know what you're getting into before you get into it.

That's a fact. I mean, you don't want to be a porn on nobody else's chestboard. Jews from a chest nigger. Jesus juice choose life Now I'm saying But So now I'm rocking in the spot You know the homie's feeding me

Like I'm not really buying food like that I'm cool or no I'm not asking for shit There's just real nigga shit I'm getting with my hand called for Praise the Lord boom just moving correct That's how I'm supposed to be Yo G light I told you I was gonna wind up shouting you out man

Wherever you at Wherever you at G light the dip Wherever you at Brooklyn nigger Non-trade gangster wherever you at, yo shit is crazy.

I'm mad Millie. I'm mad Millie. I'm quiet. I'm low. Like, I don't really got a name in the spot because I don't want a name. I'm trying to go to fuck home. I'm saying, but niggas is jack at me

because you're going to respect the real. I know how to move. It's regular shit. And then this big, big, big, big, big, personality, motherfucking G light. Light skin, nigga, nigga, nicked look like Davies. He coming inside the spot in my dorm.

That nigga G. Light come with two ounces of weed, man. This bid was different than the first bid. We called P. Diddy. I mean, they come up in the van. They give you pissed to us. This bid, niggas is smoking K2 and deuce and epping out and swimming on the floor with no water. So they don't give a fuck about weed.

They want you to smoke weed. Because if you smoke this paper playing K2 shit, you're going to try to rape the CO or fuck a small locker. I've seen niggas pull their man out and try to fuck a small locker off the K2. If you know, you know, I seen Washed. I seen the nigga run into a phone booth and bust his whole shit open, Nika K2, we started Niggas was, ha!

Niggas was like, yo, yo, niggas got the phone booth on the yard. Niggas started calling the shit phone because it's different type of paper plane. Niggins is getting different. The niggas is like, yo, you got the phone booth. So, you know, once again, to magnify these things to understand

the traumatic things we go through, bro, if you know, you know, you know. He said, Hoves said that he brought, you know, me through his rhymes, it's like he brought the newscaster to his hood. That's what, that's what the, that's what narration is about.

about. That's what my rap shit is about. Now I'm saying? To give you insight into what's going on vividly if we got that gift. So long story short, man, uh, uh, uh, uh, G light come in. G light got two ounces of weed gas. And like I said, at this time, we don't got to go in the shower and turn all the showers on so that the police don't smell it and all that. Nigel, we smoking in a motherfucking day when with the TV. This is a crazy. I'm like, where am I at? But that kicks with pride. It's the pride shit. And I'm fighting it. I'm fighting it. Nica, G. getting all the homies high. I'm like, oh shit, nigga, you ain't know

this my drug of choice. I've been sober too, yo, like, yo. And then I personality, because he lit like me and shit. Yo, the nigga, light was in the dorm for two weeks. I went to my vocational. I went to my vocational. And this nigga come through like, yo, you ain't heard about the back old deuce?

We're about to go viral in. If you know, you know, if you're from New York and you don't share this shit, you're a fucking dub. You know you is because you know I'm bringing you right into this shit And it's lit and I'm honoring I'm honoring you know the vibes man

God is good But show he had the back old deuce bro Now anybody that know paper playing Without getting into this is already shit That's fucking out there K2 you know fake weed But now they're spraying paper paper plain Everybody know about it

I mean K2 does spray But they did some whole other innovative shit that nigga, yo, they were spraying the tobacco in from the vendor. How the fuck you gonna know? It's bad. You could get back on the spot. Now it's late. They know about the plane.

That's harder to conceal. You got the back old deuce. Niggas is coming through with tobacco because you're just going to put it in a regular pouch, bugler. How the fuck they're going to run down on that? Bro, we was in the spot with that for like eight months. Yo, bro, this shit is a movie. And you know, niggas is fiend out. I don't smoke no deuce.

God is good. Knicks is fiend down So you literally Go on by a nigga small locker Here here's right You know what I mean Here giving niggins the back on the shit On the shit was a crazy ride right

But I overheard it So now my Escobar will start turning Me and G light Already forming a relationship G light shouted out G light shouted out Damn son That's my homie son

I hope he he gonna hit me up See I told you I told you I told you I told you God is good I told you and you believe bro that's why I'm shouting you

I never forget you gangster so look right boom this is the big dip Snow Billy man like what are we talking about so see light coming to the spot

and he like yo you know he got the weed I tell him yo they got the back old deuce light you ever heard of that he like back old deuce Now what I don't know is that

For the past two years That I would G light been in a spot for five years Been in the same spot That's unusual mediums and shit You usually get moving around G light know how to move He got

N' geez just got the spot situated G light Hit me with the work With the Paul himself Let me rewind Pardon me Son I tell him that boom Like I said this is all out in the open

Because everybody no no Nobody gets incriminated Praise the Lord So I tell him, just on the humbug, he like, world, world. I'm like, yeah, son. He's like, yeah, son, that shit sound wavy.

If I'm lying, I'm dying. The next day, that nigga light came into the spot with two not pouches, the fucking, what they call him, the 17-ounce bag? You know, the bags, big shit. He's like, yo son, this is what we gonna do. Now, mind you, I'm new to. the spot. You know how many other people, bro, this is a lot of money, bro. I don't have nothing.

I am chilling though. I'm cool. I don't act like, I'm valid. He's like, yo, listen, this is what we're going to do, bro. I'm going to hit you with a pouch. No, that's not how he did it. Oh, my God. Like, light is crazy. Yo, that nigga tested me. Yo, G. Light, shout it out. nigga like I'm 37 like probably like 45, 46 so I was always able to still fall in line like because he's an older man

he's older than me and I come from the cloth where it's like you show honor there's nothing like it ain't a nigga sonning you and he's against you I'm gonna play my position you crazy

I'm gonna get him doors and he hit me with a pouch he was like yo tell me how many quarters you get out of this but he ain't tell me

to give him back He just gave me this is blood shit. Like, niggas, it's energy. Like, hey, what? You know, like what? Niggas, you don't violate? But I don't, you know what I'm saying? I'm just doing it naturally.

He gave it to me. I don't remember how many quarters I got out of it. I know it was a lot. And the quarter is $25 sack, you know what I'm saying? I knew it was a lot of money. And I came to him. And I'm like, yo, this is, this is how much, you know, how many quarters is it.

he's like all right what you took for yourself I'm like I ain't take nothing you ain't tell me to like I here here's like he gave me a couple quarters now it was probably like $2,500 in that fucking pouch bro he probably gave me like $200

but bro I don't have anything $200 for free that was for free I'm like what the fuck I'm mad grateful he's in the house with me it isn't like no this was crazy it never happens like this even him being a usually Usually people get hit from people outside,

got their own shit, or if anything, he's in another dorm, he's in the house. Because you gotta look at it like this, why he didn't do it himself and get all the money. Look what I'm telling you. It's crazy shit. I got that off. I told him, he gave me three more.

No, he gave me another pouch. It was like, yeah, bagged that up and take this for yourself. So I'm like, all right. That went on for a week. I didn't have to sell anything out my house. I didn't sell anything out the dorm. You know how it's,

we had to do in situated. Police know what's going on. It's situated, though. Because nothing's happening. We run in the house. Meaning no outsiders is involved. You know, it's politics. Nobody is low.

After that last time, that nigga was like, yo, listen, this is what we're going to do, son. That shit is you. You're going to give me this off every pouch. Yeah. My life changed. That's the equivalent for nobody that don't know of a plug coming to you

with a kilo of cocaine. It's the equivalent to that, all in America. Like here. And I'm just right over there. But this is your homie, though. You know what I'm saying? So at this time, the set that I'm in is beefing. I don't know yet because I'm the only person in the dorm or in the jail that's this set.

Because the rest of them is faded. But I ain't been in the loop for 10 years, so I don't know. So I'm in this spot freely, like, reping a faded gang. I'm on site. I'm supposed to get touched out of there. Then I started understanding, like, that's why everybody was trying to get me to, like, join this shit. But mind you, I didn't do nothing wrong, I'm saying? I don't know.

God, but it doesn't work like that, though. It doesn't happen like that. So I get win. But, you know, it's not when. Like, nobody's going to do nothing to me, but, like, when, like, yo, bro, I think it's like, that shit is faded. Like, but here I go again with. that I won't never switch my ride or break my stride like niggins and the nigger

I had to fade me that. I don't want a nigga to fade me but I'm like I gotta stand. I mean, but I'm rocking with G. Light heavy and we're making a lot of money, bro. My whole bid changed. I was able to take care of my family. He didn't sell not one piece of that.

He just let me eat and we ate every day like Kings and I was at his fucking bedside every night building and truth. I finally got the old blood experience that I left because this 47 year old was the blood from then and I connected with him and you know I love you bro but look how it get crazy right so we lit boom he get when that they go move him you know sometimes like a transfer some shit I forgot what it was bro I'm like yo G like leaving

we so locked in his family my family they move into another dorm before he leave bro I'm at vocational He said somebody come to the vocational and like hit me with like $5,000 worth of drugs, bro. It was like, yo, just see me with it. Because that's what I was thinking too. Like he's leaving. What am I going to do? Bro, I never paid for nothing, bro.

They used to ask me that too. The other homies, you know, he was jealous some of them. Like, yo, what type of situation is that? You got to give him that back. Like, nigga, what the fuck did I pay for? What did I do for any of it, bro? I'm up. He left me with that.

Boom. And once he left, things got a little bit weird. I'm saying? Like, I could tell like, because now I solely got it. It's just me. Like, G. Light not there to like watch my back or hold me down. Because that's the big homie, you know what I'm saying? I'm moving sturdy.

God got me. I'm doing what I got to do. Right shit, whatever. Staying out of politics. And, um, oh, what I missed, pardon me. This is the main part because I had said that I was, you know, part of a set that was faded. Now, come to find out when G light left. I found out through his higher up that came, like, yo, you know that,

because G-Light every day used to be like, yo, yo, you'll be, you, you, you, you, you, you, you'll look good with them, with them, I'm saying, with them, with them chucks on, like, like to get me to join his shit. And I was like, scrap, I love you, bro, but he's like, all right, my nigga, you'll look good, you told all the other, you know, dips and shit. And then one day he just, I came out and he just told him, like, like, yo, this is what it is. And he told me and he sat me down, bro.

Like, listen, bro, this is what it is, bro. And niggas then came at me. And I had to stick my neck out. So it's either you jacket or I got to blow you right now, son. What are we doing? This is my big brother, bro. You know how gangster that was? Because he didn't have to tell me this is months.

I'm in the spot. I'm not supposed to be there, bro. But it's like Jesus, bro, is my heart because it would have been wrong. I didn't even know. understand that would have been wrong bro but then he's hearing my stories and but look how this is what i mean about marines he never let on bro what type of crazy shit is that and let me make bro i left there with like $45,000 what are we talking about and let me eat like that because of god bro and standing in the gap for me god used him to stand in the gap for me though they would kill me in there bro

he stood for me never let me know and used to give he the way he used to handle me was like a big brother I fuck up here. But I love shit like that. That's the structure I know I need, you know what I'm saying? You better match my intensity. And so long story, he's short, he left. I'm saying?

I still got it going. His hire up that wanted to push the button on me, he comes into the dorm. Now, at this point, I got the dorm, I got the phones. I got, he the big, big homie. But I'm still going to stand my stature. We get mad cool.

Shout out the rampage. Nick, I told you it was going to work. That's my heart. too. And we just built. This is the big hunt. And he's way, like, was wilder than G-Light. He's younger than G-Light, too.

And we just built. And he's the one who told me, like, bro, you know you was out of here? You know what G-Light did for you? Looking to start 2026 with an unforgettable getaway. Fiji Airway sale is on now. Fly non-stop round-trip to Fiji from just 748. Or enjoy a sunny Fiji stopover on your way to Australia

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I mean that shit. He said I see Waddle. So what happens? Why do they stab you though? No, they didn't know. I went to another spot. Look, you got it. I had to magnify that to show because this happened not in that. That was my spot. Okay. And this is a this is a more adult spot.

I don't know if you ever heard about green correctional facility. Yeah, I've heard of that. That's kids. You heard about that, right? Adolescence. They don't respect nothing. No protocol.

Right. It's a generation. That's what this happened. So I'm about to go home. I made my merry board. Bro, I sold drugs that hurt. And there's no shot to them. I sold drugs the whole time, gang bang.

Told people about Jesus, though. Definitely did. Got back in the gang bang. Got back in the gang bang. And I'm talking about in the spot. Got back in the gang banging, but I still went home with my fucking merit. I went home with my merit.

But look how that come. So I get a transfer because I'm getting closer to going home. At this time, bro, once G. Light left, I'm still getting money. Now it's mad love. I've been in the spot over a year. It's mad love everywhere. But God is pulling on my heart, bro. I'm going to Protestant services, bro.

I'm like leading them. But it's crazy because the homies, no, you know, the homie go to Protestant. Yeah, dick, Jesus juice. Choose life. That's where it came from. Now is lit. Everybody in New York's is lit. Choose life.

Why would you choose death? That's what I used to tell the little niggas, Jesus juice. And they respected it. But when it was time for me to go, they told me like, listen, we respect the time of you on and you, you know, basically going on the path that you on. Because when you get closer to being on your way out, you could become inactive. Think about that, though. That's brotherly love. You about to get out the dorm and make you do something to, you see what I'm saying?

But that's what goes on that. That doesn't make sense. If it's love and people, it's such so tainted, it didn't start like that, bro. I was there when it was really love. When they really went and put you in a line of fire or not do it first. That's what I was around, bro?

So it's like, how can I not? If my fucking big homie is standing in front of me showing me how to do this, remember, we don't have no fathers, my nigga. I still don't know my daddy name. I'm saying so, you know, but they, you know, at this point, I'm like, yeah, you know,

I'm about to go home. So my shit was basically like on pause. I mean, I'm not going to say I was out of the gang, but I was inactive. I'm about to go home. Everything was good. They sent their blessing over. Told people I was coming.

I get the green, bro. And I disobeyed what they told me. They said, when you get there, don't go around the homies, bro. They're not going to understand. Just go home, bro. If anything, we'll deal with it. Niggin, you valid.

What are you talking about? I'm sure the family. But don't, because we already know you can't control them little niggas. Like, it is what it. And once again, when somebody came up to me, same way like when I, why I couldn't just shut the fuck up. That's some type of, it had to be pride, bro. Why I didn't just get low, bro?

Because I couldn't. There's mad blood niggas around me. And it's like, what if they find out I am? And I didn't say, you know what I'm saying? It's, I don't know what to do. I mean, just, now you got to pull up to the yard. I pull up to the yard. And shit is regular.

I mean, I'm on my shit. My shit, valid. You know, I talk that talk. They know the field, nigga, ain't nothing sweet over there. So when they come to me like, yo, scrap, listen, it's an op in the dorm, it's a deal, you gotta take it, and then you good. The person you told me that is probably like 24, bro.

I'm mad older than, like, I'm like, listen, respectfully. Them niggas hit you up from Franklin, bro. Like, I'm low and I'm out the doors, right? Like, I'm not active. I'm out the door. It's 90 days. I'm out the door, respectfully. I mean?

Remember, I got these two kids that need me, bro. Like, and they don't have nothing else really but me in the structure I give them. Because the mother's out there single mom trying to figure it out. You know how to go, you know? Shout out to all the ladies that have to deal with the aftermath of men going to prison, bro. So that's all that's on my mind. Like, I die together. Like, what?

And when I say dies, die of my pride. Like, and you're going to see. So I knew it was up from there. But, you know, niggas, nobody's going to yell and come outside themselves. You know, this is real delegate. We delegate in like, it's like, yo, all right, scrap. I mean, the next day we came out again

and they tried to talk me into it again. And I did my homework this time, Ian, I found out that it really wasn't about nothing. It was over some drug shit. Like, motherfuckers don't want to pay back a debt. I mean, people abusing authority and they power, like, oh, because you got a million people behind you, you could just do this, that's dishonorable shit.

I mean, that happens because you have these numbers, but the powers that be are supposed to rectify that because that's why we're leaders. Like, I ain't even mad that you do. That's what leaders are for to correct you. And it's not supposed to be a beef because I corrected you. We shouldn't, fuck, we brothers, right? So once again, I dub it.

At this point, I knew it was up. I come back and forth to the yard for, like, the past next, like, two days. and, you know, one of the homies that's in the dorm, he's like trying to play peacemaker too because he knows my people from the street. And he like, yo, scrap, you should just do it. Like, fuck it, just do it. You could go.

I'm like, bro, I ain't even about that. Like, I got to stand on what I believe in, bro. Like, and this shit is wacky. It ain't even overnight, bro. I told you, like, Jesus juice, bro. They can understand it. But he's, like, pleading with me. Once I'm a story short, I go to the yard, boom, I'm on a pull a ball.

And I feel like a presence, bro. Like, you can feel it. I felt it. Ah. So I like, shh. Them niggas tried to get me on a puller ball. I was like three of them. So they just scratched me.

I mean, they really ain't, I mean, we call this a scratch. Because it wasn't even a keyloid until it was a little. All right, let me finish the story. So it scratched me. So now I'm off the pull a ball. Boom. My glasses fall, bro. Yo, bro, God, how the fuck?

I'm able to get my glasses. Bro, my glasses fell, and when I put my glasses back on, they was gone. If I'm lying, I'm done. Come on, what are we talking about? It's been a lot more than that. This is green, anybody that know, no. And the peace of God

that was poured over, yo, I've never had nobody touch me. I've never been touched before. The piece of God that came over me was just like it is now, bro. It was just like, wow, I'm just trying to relax and sit back in this fucking cloud right now. I don't know about what's going on.

But what that did was over power, not only the spirit of vengeance, but even if I didn't fit, you gotta do something. It's like the prison shit, you gotta do something. This was in the yard, but they did it good. Like nobody saw it, it's mad people in the yard. I don't see sure I hold it down. I don't go chasing after them.

I don't even fucking know who did it, bro. Remember, I can't see, bro. You know what I'm saying? And I get up, I hold it down. Mind you, I don't know I'm bleeding, though, because it's little, bro. It's not a lot of blood. So I go by the phone booth area

because the phone booth is in the cut. So I'm just low over there. I'm trying to figure out what to do. Nobody's coming up to me. Nothing is regular. Long story short, I go in the line to leave. When you go to the line to leave, anybody that no, no,

they're fucking watching you walk. They're looking to see if people got cut. They're all in your shit. They're looking to see that in every line. If you know, you know, they're looking. Like, that's why they want you to take your hat off going through in the hood and all that dumb shit. Because they know people are going to hide it. So, boom, they see the cut.

Oh, come here. They pull me out. Boom. What happened? I don't know what you're talking about. Okay, getting this van. You're going to IPC. We all know how this shit go.

I'm saying? Involuntary protected custody. You can't fight it. You get cut. That's what they're taking you. And from there, you know what I'm saying? you're either going to, you know, most likely go to another spot or I didn't seen times where these niggas is wicked,

they'll put you right back, bro. Like I've seen, like, you'll sit in the box maybe for a little bit and go right back, that's weird. So what happened to you? I went to the sergeant office. They asked me again, like, yo, what happened? What happened? Praise God to be able to testify for this.

And I'm sitting there like, yo, you know something officer? It was a black officer and a white officer. I said you because right then and there the spirit of God came over me because I'm sitting there like I don't know not I don't know that but the spirit of God came upon me and was like now you resisted sin to the point of bloodshed

and I just started crying bro and I told him that he didn't know what the fuck I'm saying I'm like yo I just resisted sin to the point of bloodshed so that it just freed me even more because it's fear that's over with now there's no that fear that is over with right and I trusted because he also showed me how it came full circle bro

remember I told you I didn't allow him to button that up I kind of that's fear still I didn't go through you understand so now that's why I segued it I was supposed to say what I said there everything in decency and all the completion bro I was supposed to so I'm in IPC for maybe like two weeks they send me across the street to Kazaki that's IPC and they sent me to Washington that's where I wanted to go at first I'm saying they sent me to Washington they sent me to Washington. So now I'm put in between another dilemma because I don't know what nobody's going to hear or what do I do now when I get to this spot, mind you, it ain't like I got a big blast

where they're going to, but I'm like, what do I do I claim do I? I went to the spot. You know, once I got a reception, I got to the first dorm, the nigger, my son, L.B., man, shout out to him. L.B. met me at the door. Anybody know how this shit go. He don't know who I am, now I'm saying? security, like, who, you banging?

This first thing, you're coming in this spot? Who are you? This is how you get greeted in jail. You come into a spot with your bags, niggas is on your body. Who are you? You banging? Oh, all right. Like, what?

And you, that's when you know, because if you're a gangstained, you, I mean, you pull up, your, who on the phone, you let your nuts drag. Like, and that's just the culture. It's traumatizing, bro, because you can't do that out there. I have to learn. I'm still learning it, I mean. Um, and yeah, he asked me that.

And once again, there's that dilemma again, right? Because the tongue is quick. And I just was like, yeah, I fell back. I was banging. But that was it. He didn't ask me no more. So I didn't, bro, my first two weeks there, remember, I'm coming from a spot where I just ran it up, $50,000,

got my own phone, bro. So now I got to ask to be on a phone because I'm not, I don't have those perks anymore. That comes with it, right? It wasn't really a big deal, but just adjusting to that. And like, because it is pride. Like, I've never asked nobody to get on the phone. This whole time had been lit.

But it felt so good because you could still be a gangster and be a man of honor without being in a gang in jail. So you don't know who to fuck you around. Just because he's not reping, no, you crazy, but to see the humility that comes from wisdom. Because it was few and far bluds that I was able to vibe with because there's so many, you know, it's not a lot. But I've met so many neutral, sturdy people.

that have looked over because they're not in the forefront, you know what I'm saying? And to become one of those that the bloods now come to, like how I would, like, yo, you need to get on the phone. I got to see that part of it. And they'd be like, yeah, yeah, thank you.

And then they're like, if I'm lying, I'm dying. They was putting, and not only me, I can't say that. Shout out to Shawnee, my son, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, my son, shorni, he know the vibes and shit. they was putting niggas on the blood phone because it's only two phones. So you got a blood phone and then you got everybody else phone

y'all figure that shit out. But think about it. If it's only five bloods in the house, it's five people with one phone. They on that shit all day. You know what I'm going to? It's 40 people on this phone. This is how to go in jail.

You've got 40 bloods in the spot. You got 10, 15 bloods on one phone. You got 40 people trying to figure this shit out. And then anytime this nigga want to get on that phone, you're going to get on the phone. What you're going to do? What I'm saying? And not in this spot that I just was in.

They was putting people on the blood phone because why? Every other spot I'm used, oh my God. If you know what, you know what niggis do when they're not using the phone? They can leave that shit hanging. You better not go in that fucking booth.

That shit hanging for hours. But God let me end my bid in a place where they got it. Like, bro, that's y'all phone. No question. It's hanging. He just came and asked to use the phone. Yeah, go ahead.

That's all, you know, niggas was really asking. And you should the fucking night. That's their fucking phone. What are you talking about? That should be nothing. But you know what that does? The character? And then to see it honored.

Bro. So now this is my, I passed over. Now I'm living great. And I'm saying. And I'm gonna be real. I didn't mention shit for a matter long. I'm in that spot, right? I already got my date to go home.

I don't have any programs. I'm sleeping and playing chess. And writing wrong. And then one of the people from the other spot came through that I was with. And he came through and, you know, he heard about what happened. Like, things weren't, I didn't say nothing because it wasn't coming to me, Neal. I'm just to go home, bro.

I mean, I fulfilled, I fulfilled between me and God. I resisted to the point of bloodshed. Let him figure the rest out. Long story short, son came in. And he was like, bro, we heard about that. What do you want to do? And I told him, bro, blood him, blood out. He looked at me, bro, like,

shh. Salute, doing this shit for over 20 years, man. Over 20 years, man. And I will continue to honor the nutrients that I gleaned. I'm not bashing blood or what it was to the people whose voids were filled at that time. bro but like anything else in this world things can become corrupted and and and and and I experience the same thing like I said in the church but once I purpose to God I don't

understand none of this shit you revealed yourself to me but I don't understand none of it I'm gonna just wake up every day a blank sheet and bro I experience the same power that raised Jesus Christ from the dead, my nigga. Because it's the same ideology. Like, because to die to your ego, to negate, especially for a man, one's ego, one's pride, one's nature of what?

Self-preservation, that's innate. When you negate that, like, fuck it. This looked like a cliff, and I can't see, but I trust you. Because once you, And then you get caught that first time it would change your life. You can't deny no more.

Now you work with it because now you've got to ask for boldness. I couldn't speak like this because I was afraid of the rejection. But then throughout these eight years of me being quiet and finally being able to talk, it's not talking because I want to be heard. To me, this is a way that I could tell the father like, I love you and trust you and I'm grateful enough to do this afraid.

And then he's like, now you got it. That's courage, bro. Marine shit. You don't see fear and then fucking run. You overcome it, bro. You're still a human, bro. You're still a human. And that's the like imperfectly perfect shit, right?

That's the, that's the juice, bro. So, you know, I segue all that to where I am now. I got out of jail. early. I was on post two years, but they have 30 for 30 in New York, so I only did half of it. I met my parole officer one time.

Crazy. And when I came home this time, bro, I was working on trains. My man got me a job working on trains. I did that shit for a month. I was talking all this cellar bitch shit. I'm going to come home and, nah, that shit went left.

I got to getting, bro. and I wound up getting back in the game, bro. Nobody even know, bro. I mean, people that know, no, but I was a ghost. So on parole, and I say this not to glorify. I just was on parole for a year and a half, bro. And I sold drugs the whole time. Like I said, it's not to magnify because this isn't corner shit.

No, we buying houses. We buying foreign cars. You know, kids that's going to private schools. You know what I'm saying? I'm on parole, but I'm a ghost. I'm not glorying in it, but I say that to say, this, right? My guilt caused me to allow doubt and unbelief in. I just wanted to be able to give my children that which I felt they were robbed of for the past two years. So I put my life on the line.

But I never stopped talking to God and standing in the light before him like, Lord, once again, like this fucking fucking gang shit before. Because you got me out of that. I'm done. Ooh, God is good. I'm going to hope me. They love me. Ah, that shit is late.

But I'm like, yo, money again, once again. Because I didn't learn up until that point to live meek. Remember, when I started it and jailed, the money came right again. So shit is late. And I remember telling him like, Lord, you promised me I'll never go to jail again. He definitely did. And I'm like, when you. tell me it's over

I'm done bro I had so much peace in like what I was doing and then one day bro I'm off parole at this time I'm on the highway to pick my kids up and the spirit of Lord

just come upon me and he's like yeah it's time I'm in my Mercedes Benz and shit and I'm saying my little hatchback coop shit and all that

he's like yeah it's time son I'm like I say that got the drugs in my hand, he's like, yo, throw this shit out the window. I'm like, all right. Yo, bro, I put the window down.

I go to throw this shit out and something to me like, the fuck is wrong with you. I can hear my man's in them, my man's voice like, what the fuck is wrong with you? You better not throw that shit out of the window. You're throwing all this money out the window. If anything, give it to your man. It's not making sense, right? That shit scared the shit out of me because, bro, it's the same with Jesus on the cross, bro.

The darkest point for him was when he had to be. separate from the father so that our sins could be put on him so that he could die to not only my sins but that to the rest of the world. And then when he rises, through faith, we rise with him. And now we newfound and we under grace and we under a whole other government. And we are truly set free through what, through what we have heard. Even now, whoever hears this, if the Lord is knocking on your heart, know that he don't expect you to swing it open. He just wants you to crack it. And if you crack it, he's going to come in, he's going to make his bed with you. And y'all gonna be lady in the city so do it afraid right but I'm at the point where I'm like oh you know

what what am what am I what am I really about to do and once again I had to I had to trust God and bro it took me like five minutes of my spirit whaling ah like whatever still was in me I had to get out was fighting like ah I'm driving I missed my fucking kids are still waiting. Bro, I eventually throw the work out the window. He's like, yo, throw them e-pills out too, my nigga. This shit after bail out on the highway. You know, I like a movie.

I like movies and shit. He like, yo, throw the phone out. Do the phone out the window. I'm like, yo, I'm free. That shit is a burner. Anybody that no-no, you fucking got motherfuckers blowing your phone up all the time. He told me that day. He said, look, this was eight months ago, Ian.

He said, now, eyes have not. seen and ears have not heard what's in store for those who love the Lord now watch what happened now mind you I'm caked up at the time though so I'm my I got a cushion I mean I wound up being on this lyrical lounge freestyle podcast shit now when it come to the rap bro I've been the cream of the crop wherever I'm going I'm talking about every jail whatever and I never put no music out we're doing this shit for 20 years bro because I don't care about that it's natural I I'm not focused on what that. I go into a lyrical lounge shit.

Blackout. Now I'm not a ghost no more. Now every, oh, who the fuck was that? Ah, uh-uh. And this is a time in rap, right, where the essence is lost. It's a lot of, you know, ignorance, bro. You know, and that's what's magnified. Hip-hop to me, bro, is about understanding your situation a little better from,

hearing and understanding about somebody else's situation because that's where hip hop, it has to, and I'm not knocking people that sensationalize the newspaper do a tool, but come on, I don't want to be a fucking news writer. I want to tell a truth, bro. I want to testify. So that's hip hop that I come from,

where it's just an expression of what's going on because it's all the way out. And it got to come out, you know what I'm saying? So, like, you know, I did that. You know, everybody was, it was a lot of noise going on. Like everybody, you know what I'm saying? Was tuning in it. shit and I'm at this point I'm meek I'm you know I'm humble thank God and I'm just

along for the ride bro from that I just get booked for shows and then it just keeps going up bro I God puts all the pieces together with the resources because remember I don't have a job but then he's like you start your business I had an LLC when I came home I boss cloth LLC good stitch don't itch but I don't have no fucking I don't got no trade man I got custodial maintenance trade, you know what I'm saying? No, if I'll clean that toilet, you know what I'm saying? But he brings me to my man, double R. Shout out double R.

I'm saying? Double R was my number one, what would I call him? Double R is, double R struggles with heroin addiction, cocaine crack addiction, everything under the sun, bro. He's been with me for the past two years. Now, Double R helped build that fucking house we bought.

Double R, bro, has done so many things, bro, in his condition of being a fucking junkie as the world would think, I'm saying? Wish he was here. I got a picture of him. That'll be ill.

But he persevered through it all and he's such a believer. He comes from Long Island. He comes from money. But you know, life doesn't brought him where he had here to tell you that. But he was always next to me

and when I stopped selling drugs, bro, he didn't leave. So now imagine having all the perks that having, you know, as lack of a better world, you know what I'm saying? Having a custody next to you that know how to do all this shit but you don't got no drugs for him.

He's doing it off the love. My line, I'm dying. So he helped me build this fucking business, bro. Because Double R know how to do all the retaining walls. Double R know how to do the gutter cleaning. Double R know how to fucking put up quotes. Double R know how to do this. All this shit, my man, double R.

From Long Island. I don't got no drugs for him. He does it for free. We make thousands of dollars, bro, and he fucking takes a couple dollars because I'm like, nigga, you're not going to smoke this soap. Let's go buy you some clothes, motherfucker. Yeah.

This is my man, double-R. So this is where he has us now. This was going on. And for the past two months, man, my life has changed drastically and is on a trajectory. God has brought Reggie Lane. And we don't got enough time to really get into that.

But Reggie Lane's, bro. You know, that's my partner. We just formed a great. And he's my a light. So our group is called perfect symmetry. So anybody that knows about symmetry, you know, you understand the parallels. But we have perfect symmetry because our denominators are common

and we both agree with that. So just like this, it's organic. You know, he has a lot of resources. And after, you know, us coming together, how we came together through third parties, the father revealed himself and purpose to both of us, individually and collectively

and we literally just surrendered and now it's fucking lit. Like even now, bro, like, I'm like, oh shit, it's only one. I'm like, yo, this my maid came over the time. Like I want a man here, I don't. But then it's like, yo, let go. And then my man like, oh, it's not.

And ah-uh, because it's perfect symmetry. We let, yo, God is good. Everything in the light, bro. Because it's always going to land how it's supposed to. But now, you know, we're able to use the music to promote principles through it. I'm saying like like like like real quick Ian

this how really get right yeah we gotta we gotta wrap yeah real quick if you wanna just give like a piece of advice that you've learned throughout your whole journey right I'm gonna tell you right now right I'm gonna tell you right now in rap form this how really get he said soft touch still I go hard

and on the track I black like Mike Jack but for the nose job the stress had me suppressing the best side of me devil on my left trying to get me to invest in death but on my right God's light was Dad guide of me, restraining me for moving dangerously. Seen a fool react off emotion and call it bravery. Emotion used to be a cage to me.

I learned to hide it well. Talk to rather, dot, and tell. You know, snitches get stitches in the coffin dressed up like a businessman, off of being in somebody business. Even the feds couldn't hide my witness. Christ set me free. Look at me. Ain't no hiding, Vincent.

Inspiration is a sweet smell. Come by the incense. Smoke hit your nose, then your mind shifted. Encouragement goes far. When you live in what you teach I'm from Brooklyn I go hard I'm living what I preach

Ready to die for what I stand for That come from living on my knees Humbling myself before the king When I was in the Bing I cheek shanks Had them hanging on the string Shadows of the past Once I stepped into the light

They was out of sight I knew he was near and changed gears I could show you how to ride a bike All the way to mountain heights It all started from the valleys Used to run a crack trap That started from the alleys If you could tally all the times

I brushed death the one who counting to be upset. She asks me if I trust the Lord's plan. I asked the ma'am, is a duck wet? Do birds fly this Holy Spirit? No third eye. No freemason. No indoctrination.

Just relationship with the one who gives grace in opposed to nations. He got the fate of the world in his hands. Once I opened up like convertible lamps, he filled me by showing me to reel me. Without him, dead and sin is where I still be. But now I'm alive like Johnny Five. This is all Holy Spirit, no third eye, no black magic, no hats or rabbits, voodoo never. Only chicken heads I dealt with was ratchet and that was the past. Now when to come to having class, I get straight to the math.

Time is money, I'm a taking in cash. Once the check clear, I make sure I spread love with the people. Because the love of money is still a root of evil. Seeing niggas personality split like Smeagle all over what they thought was precious. Blow your brains out, make a death wish on your birthday. Niggas is set tripping the worst way. Who can you trust? Who do you run to?

It ain't signs to Bill now. Seek Holy Spirit and pluck out that third eye. Pluck out that third eye. Pluck out that third eye. Pluck out that third eye. Pluck out that third eye pluck. You know what I'm saying? So like God has given me,

y'all don't even think I cursed, bro. So God is given the word, bro, to be made manifesting. With the Spirit of the Lord is there is liberty because if the wall is moved, then you can put the seed in the ground. You can't put the seed in the ground unless the wall is moved. So I've learned that in wisdom for all of us,

if you know something that somebody else may not know or struggling with, you bring yourself down and make yourself more like them in retrospect to save them, to get them to hear you. you don't speak from a place of exaltation, that creates the wall. That's why people don't go to fucking church. But if they can have an encounter, even if they don't tell you,

that's something that they got. They experienced. They could do what they do with it now. You know, so that's what, you know, me and my man, Reggie is on the mission to just use our gift. And I'm saying to, you know, get to get the source to whoever need the source, man. Esco, thank you, man.

For doing this. I'm glad you waited to share your whole story with me, you know. That's crazy. Thank you, bro. You rocked out. You did very well, man. Thank you, bro. You did three hours. Yeah, bro.

I got to pee. But thank you again for coming on, brother.