Locked In with Ian Bick - Shot 7 Times & Still Survived — Ex-Crip Tells All | Ghost
Episode Date: July 23, 2025Ghost shares his journey from growing up in the toughest parts of Brooklyn and Queens to surviving the streets as a member of the Crips. After his brother was paralyzed, Ghost was pulled deep into gan...g life—getting shot 7 times, losing an eye, and barely escaping death. In this episode, he opens up about life inside the gang, the pain that pushed him there, and the strength it took to finally walk away. PrisonStories #GangLifeSurvivor #CripsToChange #StreetLifeExposed #RedemptionJourney #Shot7Times #FromHoodToHope #lockedinpodcast Connect with Ghost: https://www.instagram.com/official_ghettoghost?igsh=MTBydjA3NGM4OTFsdQ== Hosted, Executive Produced & Edited By Ian Bick: https://www.instagram.com/ian_bick/?hl=en https://ianbick.com/ Get 50% off the Magic Mind offer here: https://www.magicmind.com/IANB50. #magicmind #mentalwealth #mentalperformance Presented by Tyson 2.0 & Wooooo Energy: https://tyson20.com/ https://woooooenergy.com/ Buy Merch: http://www.ianbick.com/shop Timestamps: 00:00:00 Ghost's Transformative Life Story 00:03:43 Importance of Fathers in Child Development 00:07:11 Life Altered by Brother's Shooting 00:10:48 Journey from W*ed to Hard Dr*gs 00:14:18 The Struggles and Support at Rikers 00:17:34 Lessons Learned at Rikers: Respect and Discipline 00:20:57 Respect and Lessons from Supreme Team 00:24:11 Overcoming Challenges: From College Dropout to the Streets 00:27:53 Surviving a Near-Death Experience 00:31:44 Starting a Nonprofit: Giving Back and Making a Difference 00:35:14 The High Cost of Street Success 00:39:05 Reflections on Life and Regret 00:42:53 Life Transformation from Street Life to Fatherhood 00:46:40 Parenting and Guidance in Modern Times 00:50:18 Overcoming Life's Circumstances: The Power of Change 00:54:07 Overcoming Obstacles with Positivity 00:57:31 Expressions of Appreciation Powered by: Just Media House : https://www.justmediahouse.com/ Creative direction, design, assets, support by FWRD: https://www.fwrd.co Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Coming out of my hotel, boy, put seven.
me here. I try to turn around and my hand
hits the nozzle with a gun.
And when I'm around, I'm, like, oh, my hand's still in.
I try to, like, grab it. And that shit just, you see
this shit right here? That shit just ripped up to
boom. And then I guess it, like, hit my
little knuckle right here, and it went
right here in my fort, right in my temple.
Born in Brooklyn, raised in Queens,
and baptized by the streets,
ghost's life changed forever when his
brother was paralyzed. He joined the
Crips, was shot seven times,
lost an eye, and somehow survived.
Now he's walking away from the
life for good.
Ghost, welcome to Lockton.
Man, it's an honor.
It's a pleasure.
Thank you for having me, my brother.
Yeah, and thanks to the Blanc brothers
for connecting us, man.
Yes, sir.
Shout out to my Migo.
It was the Blanc brothers,
Blanc's golden diamonds,
and love them boys.
Yep, they're the guys
that made me this piece
right here that I rock every day, man.
Everything.
My official jewelers,
you're right?
Yeah, they're the best in the business.
And one of the brothers,
Nick was on the show.
I remember that.
Yep, he came on.
And that episode popped,
man.
Everyone loved it.
Yeah. I was fine. I was a little like, oh, okay. Yeah. No, I was proud of them. They came up and I always get the two of them confused because they're twins. But they're really good dudes and I'm glad I met them. And I appreciate them so much for always recommending me really good guests. I know they got a good, I think a guard coming on that they recommended and they talk, they've been talking about you since day one. So I'm glad we can make this happen. Definitely. Thank you again, man.
Of course, man.
And we'll have the links to all your stuff and their stuff in this episode description.
Where did you grow up?
Actually, I was born in Brooklyn.
But that's where my family's from.
But I moved right to Queens.
So I'm from Queens because that's where I started everything, learned everything,
and made my way and started my journey.
You know what I mean?
So South Jamaica, Queens, Basley Projects, to be exact,
which is Guy Brewer and Fetch.
That's a major street, you know, in South Queens.
Yeah, so that's where I'm from originally.
South Jamaica, Queens.
Basley Project. What was your upbringing like? Rough.
Father was in jail for two murders in self-defense, but it didn't work out in his way.
My mother from Puerto Rico, we'm Puerto Rican, so she's trapped out of school in like sixth grade
in Puerto Rico, and they moved to New York. So no real strong foundation at home, you know,
education-wise and, you know, morals, principles and stuff like that. I had to learn that from
the streets or whatever, but it was definitely rough. Shelters, homeless.
projects, being kicked out, just a struggle.
Real struggle, let's just put it like that.
Did you ever get to meet your father?
Yes.
He's not here no more, but I did.
It was too late when he came.
I was already on the corner just doing my thing, hustling.
So it was really no purpose.
It was just a long story with that one, but I met him.
I met him.
So you never met him as a child growing up?
Maybe when I was like 11, he first came home.
like he was on bond, got my mother pregnant, and then went to jail.
So about 11, 12, he finished that bid.
I think he got like 12 years for it or something like that.
He got released after 12 years, and I've seen him.
He dipped back out of our lives again.
So, you know, just here and there, seeing him.
But like I said, at that time, I was already going on to 13.
That's probably when I first touched the street, so 13, 14.
How big of an impact do you think it had on you that you didn't have a father figure?
I'm so dysfunctional to this day.
Like having your father is so necessary.
You know what I mean?
And to the mothers out there, yes.
Whether it's money or whatever,
doesn't, don't take the kid away from the father.
The kids need their fathers, man.
Because we grow up to be grown men that's still, like, real dysfunctional
and got a lot of F-dubs things.
Can I curse on this thing?
Yeah, okay.
Got a lot of fucked up ways and, you know,
even with love and mistreating, you know, people and stuff like that.
So that plays a major role.
So it really affected me in a major way, major way.
How would you describe yourself as a kid?
What would your friends say about you at the time?
When you're in middle school, early high school.
Well, that's a different thing.
Because when I was younger, younger, I would say I was innocent
because I didn't really see and realize what was going on around me.
I was just living innocently.
Like, okay, maybe I'm just supposed to be poor.
Maybe I'm supposed to eat mayonnaise and bread and sugar milk to fill my stomach of.
I guess it's just how life, you know, this is what it is.
You know, you're a kid, you're not thinking.
You're just living and loving, you know what I mean?
Like loving your family, regardless of the dysfunctions we all have, you know what I mean?
Rough household.
So, um, uh, innocent.
And then it got bad.
At like eight, my brother was like 14.
He got shot and paralyzed for the rest of his life.
That kind of like flipped a switch.
And I just, I think I got cold a little bit, you know what I mean?
Got heartless and just didn't really care for anything.
Just seeing how when I was eight, I grew up.
I guess grown because everybody was growing around me,
so I got to see her.
So at eight, I was like, I was aware now.
Like, okay, okay, this is what life is about.
Somebody could just shoot your brother,
damn they're dead, and that's it.
You know what I mean?
Like, now we got to deal with he's paralyzed
for the rest of his life.
You have to lift him up to put him in a shower,
wash him up, feed him, everything, you know what I mean?
Was he in the streets?
Yes, he was.
He had to be, you know what I mean?
Mother was on drugs.
Father wasn't around, like I told you.
He was the oldest boy.
Had a sister that was older than him,
but she was already outside finding her own way,
you know what I mean, being grown, you know what I mean?
So he had to go outside.
My mother would leave for days at a time
because of her addiction.
At the time, she went cold turkey after a while for us to take care of us,
so I saluted for that.
But at those times, my brother was right there.
He had to go out and hustle to make sure we had food in the fridge,
chocolate milk, sandwiches, turkey meat, you know what I mean?
Stuff like that.
Why do you think seeing what happened to him
wasn't a deterrent for you to not go into the street?
life. I was still young, you know, I was still figuring things out. It's like at eight, you know,
like, okay, I can identify the street life. This is what street life is about. It's just, you just
looking and just trying to adapt to everything that's going on around you. So like, it wasn't like a,
okay, I was too young to even think like that. As I got older, I would look at him and be like,
then, maybe I should chill out, you know what I'm saying? But at that point, some people are just too
knee deep in what they're doing, you know what I mean? You said a really powerful statement about how
you just thought that that was what life was supposed to be like for you.
Were all your friends living that lifestyle too, growing up in poverty on the streets,
having family that's incarcerated?
Yep, yep.
It's like, you know, when you're from a certain environment, neighborhood, whatever,
you're a product of that.
And everybody in my neighborhood was just like that people was in jail or dead or no guidance,
mothers, guardians on drugs.
And, you know, we're just outside, laid and just, you know, whatever.
But, yeah.
What was your mom's opinion on the street?
life um like i said she was a part of that shit for a long time so didn't really preach anything
about it but as i got older you know she would say certain things for example like my brother when
when she was not on drugs no more we moved to queens to the projects in queens he went back to
Brooklyn and when she told him not to she's like you know it's not good over there you know i just
don't like it that's why we moved away you know what i mean he still goes over there and that's when he
get shot. You know what I mean? So she would try to tell us that it's not the way to go.
You know what I mean? She'd try the best, you know what I mean? But like I said, at some point,
she got out late. We got in early. It's just like, you know, it is what it is at this point.
She can only try to guide us the right way. You know what I mean? Tell us about how your life
starts to change after your brother's shooting. Sheesh. A lot of pain, a lot more pain,
you know, confusion, a lot more struggle.
just having adapted you know i'm still young you know i mean i'm still we're all still trying to
help out and still trying to adapt to this so but like i said before it flipped the switch in my
brain bro i don't know my body every i got cold man i just you know i i just got cold nobody
good question though bro now that i think about it it's just like i really really it really
it really fucked me up bro you know what i'm saying it really fucked me up mentally physically emotionally
I just didn't care, man.
Before that incident happened,
what did you want to be in life?
What did you want to become?
I used to throw the baseball around.
I used to, you know,
I used to play baseball, basketball.
I just, you know, even at that age,
it wasn't like, oh, that's what I want to be
when I get older.
It's sad, but I'm so, so much from a fucked up environment,
nobody was prepping me to even think like that.
You know what I mean?
So it's just like, they so caught up
and they fucked up ways,
they ain't got time to be teaching me shit.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, so it's just like, I'm outside,
just, you know, found a ball,
and maybe a bad.
A friend had a bat,
and we just figured out,
nobody even taught us
how to play the game.
We just,
I guess I learned from them.
If they knew a little bit,
we just add on
and just try to figure it out.
When you would end up
in prison later in life,
do you ever reflect back
on those moments
of what you wanted to become?
Hell yeah,
because as I got a little older,
you know,
I think I caught my first case at 16,
crack cocaine,
bee felony,
you know, you think.
And I was good at basketball,
really good at basketball.
I played ball.
I will always reflect like,
damn, maybe if, but I'm not going to blame other people,
but I just wish I had the proper support system, that's all.
Because I probably wouldn't have went through the things that I,
I know I wouldn't have through the things that I went through in life
if I had the proper support system to just redirect me
or talk some sense into me and get me right, you know what I'm saying?
But I definitely used to sit back and think like, damn,
I really, if I didn't stray away,
I could have really did something with this,
and everybody knows it.
I was super dope and ball.
Share with us your time in the streets,
how you got into it and what that looked like for you up until your first charge at 16.
Okay, so my brother having to get in the streets at a young age, figuring that out.
My sister got married to somebody.
He lived out of town in Virginia or whatever.
You know, I started going for the summers as a kid and just figure that out.
You know what I'm saying?
I'm sorry, I got short-term memory loss too, might I add.
Run that question back one more time.
About your involvement in the streets, what that looked like.
So, boom.
I start to figure things out.
You know, so I was a young kid, like I said,
my sister would try to take me to get my mind off
the New York shit, my brother, and for the summers,
a couple of weeks or whatever, you know,
try to live like a kid, you know what I'm saying?
But, like, bro, like, how can I say it?
Like, 14, I jumped in the streets,
I bagged up my first pound of weed, you know what I'm saying?
Like, and after that, it was just like a fucking,
like a snowball effect, bro, you know what I'm saying?
And graduated to Coke and then crack, you know what I'm saying?
I sold everything, you know what I'm saying?
Like, and just, now that I look back at it, of course,
it's fucking retarded, but it's just like, like I said,
I was stuck in my ways and all that I was raised around
and all that I knew.
Like, then I got caught 16 years old
on the same hill in Basley Projects
in front of my building, crack, weed, everything on me.
Just being stupid, just being too comfortable, you know what I mean?
And then, like I said, after that,
it's just fighting, assaults and batteries
and just everything just fall through.
I just recently beat it, not beat, but I'm from New York.
So if there's no felonies or jail time, you beat a case.
I copped out the two missed a mean as for a shooting.
It really was self-defense, though.
You know what I'm saying?
But as in Virginia, they don't got no self-defense law, you know, but they'll give you a gun
and let you get it, you know, if you got no felonies or whatever.
But if you got to use it in self-defense, there's no self-defense law.
So it's kind of like a setup to me, if you ask me, you know what I mean?
You give me a gun, but I can't use it to defend myself.
It's weird.
So I copped out to misuse of a firearm.
Misses a fire on the public with no injuries.
Somebody did get shot.
Damn, I'm not coming to court or whatever.
You know, whatever.
Anyway, but yeah.
So like I said, it was a snowball of fleck after that.
Just nonstop, just bullshit, you know.
Were you involved in the game?
I was.
I was definitely involved with a gang.
Payback.
Payback Crips.
Really big, straight from West Side, Gardena, California.
But, you know, they, everything branches out to the East Coast.
You know what I mean?
So been a part of that for a long time.
You know what I mean?
I'm inactive now, you know what I mean?
because you learn a lot.
I'm 41 now.
I'm not a kid anymore.
You know what I'm saying?
I lost so much.
I lost friends.
I lost family.
I lost things, just possessions,
just freedom, just everything.
It just almost died because of this shit.
Got shot by opposition.
You know what I'm saying?
And, bro, shit is just madness, man, you know?
What attracted you to gang life?
I mean, I don't think it was,
I think it's just, like I said,
a part of my environment.
You know where I was from?
A couple of my older homies that was home and locked up, they was, I'm finding out,
okay, y'all gangbanging, y'all crips, I never knew that, you know what I mean?
And those are like my brothers.
So it's kind of like you, like I said, a product of your environment.
You just, it's a cool thing at first, you know what I'm saying?
Because you're not, you're a kid.
You don't, you know what I mean?
You're just doing what your buddies is doing, you know what I'm saying?
But then as you get older, you get more tied into it, start learning a little more.
And it just is, like I said, it's too late at some point, you know what I mean?
But yeah, I was definitely heavy in that thing.
Like I said, inactive now because I just want to try to redirect some children the next generation.
You know, trying to, you know, the shit is a myth.
Street shit is a myth, bro.
You know what I mean?
What's one thing someone could have told you about gang life when you were a teenager that could have prevented you from becoming a gang member?
Just because you were part of a gang, don't mean your brothers are going to be loyal or people are going to be loyal to you or ride for you.
You know what I'm saying?
Like you think they would.
You know what I'm saying?
Shit is just a myth, man.
All this shit is a myth.
It's a puppet master game, too.
But that's another story, you know, when you.
a part of the higher ups and you can see what's going on
and it's somewhat like you're allowing the young ins to kill
their self but y'all chilling
you know but it's cool
share with us that first charge at 16 what happened
I was confused bro like my first
you know what I mean first time getting locked up I'm like damn
salute to pram though supreme you know what I mean like his sister
you know what I'm saying came and got me you for me
he heard I was locked up and shit and you know Supreme team supreme
I love him to death I don't care what nobody say man
He was there for me, you know, you feel me?
So, yeah, I was, you know, fly, I look white in Puerto Rican.
He, like, he got locked up, what he got on?
I got a Vasachi jacket on, fresh Tim's, Versace jeans, Gucci, 14-carat frames.
He's like, man, we got to go get them.
They're going to try to kill them, you know what I'm saying?
But they end up giving me the Patakis and all that, taking all my good shit
and giving me that bullshit, you feel me?
But definitely, so, yeah, I was confused.
I was nervous.
I didn't know, you know what I'm saying?
Intake, I almost got into it.
You feel me?
I think they put me in Marble one at the time, what it's called.
I don't know.
I haven't been there in years.
I don't know what it's called now.
Like Marl one, sprungs and all that different, you know what I mean?
But I got my ass beat by some blood, you feel me?
Like when they put me into the wrong house, I guess at the time, they didn't know I was gangbane.
My name is fresh in the system.
They don't, you know what I mean?
So they didn't ask me my classification and nothing like that.
They just threw me somewhere, you know what I mean?
And it was a get-down, a lay-down situation.
Like, not even a get-down and lay-down situation because some of them knew who I was.
already, you know what I'm like from the streets like oh that's from
Basley the crib nigga, you know what I mean? I got
I could take it one or two but not 10 you know what I'm saying?
So they got me up out of there with my ass and I'm saying they had to get me up out of
there you know what I mean but end up going to sprungs and it was cool you for me
like knew some queens dudes and some loks was in there a couple you know what I mean so
it was cool and this was at Rikers yeah Rikers
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Okay. 16 years old. We hear all the blood stories. There's been a lot of ex-bloods on the show. We never really
about the Crips? Is that because there's not that many of them? Or what is that like?
I don't know at the time what it was because like I'm still young. You know what I'm saying?
But like probably now like I don't know it's probably even or but I know used to be dominated by
Bloods like Bloods was was really big. I guess that you know people it was a facade. I mean it was a
fad or something. Whatever. It was a thing to do back in the day. You know what I'm saying? So everybody
was just doing it. You know what I'm saying? Like, but I think definitely was like it was more
dominant with the bloods then you know what I'm saying and then the Crips you know it was very little of us then
I know I know the population is way bigger you know now you know I'm saying so we was always kind of like
out numbered at some point but then it evened out you know I'm saying so I mean the Crips probably probably
had to get it on a little more you feel me like really put it in and put some work in a little more
because you got you know you motherfuckers thinking you know they run shit at the time you know I mean
but when was the first time you put in work at Rikers soon as I got like I said almost got it
until the intake. I had to fight
and Mar one, the first time they put me in that house
Bloods, you know what I? So
they talk shit, uh, uh, I'm,
I'm, I'm, I heard the stories. You got
my, my, my, everybody in my hood and
basically been locked up before, you feel me, so they're like, yo,
you know, these talk in, in the hood,
in the, in the basketball courts, talk about their
stories and so you listen and then, like, damn,
and I'm taking notes, you know, I'm in the streets, I'm like,
this shit can happen, I can get locked up, you feel me, let me listen,
you feel me, let me, a word, you got to swing first,
you got to, I'm taking notes, so I'm like,
all right. This is what they're talking about.
They're pressing me right now.
So it's either I'm a lay down and they're going to take advantage of me
or I'm going to fucking just hook off and try to get my respect.
You feel me?
And that's what I did.
Got my ass whoop, but I hooked off and they,
and down the line, motherfuckered respect.
Like, you're a crazy Puerto Rican, niggas.
Ten of a, you're by yourself.
So what?
Beat my ass.
You know what I'm saying?
What happens if you don't do that?
You're going to be somebody not bitch, like,
right?
Because ain't no, at that time when no gayship,
but just like, they're going to be sunning you.
And they're going to be, you know what I mean?
Ain't anybody gonna son me, smack me up
Or make me do whatever, do this, do that, I'm not doing none of that.
Give up my commissary, give up, I'm not doing none of that.
You feel me?
I heard the stories, I'm not going, you feel me?
I ain't going.
So, yeah, man.
How do you think Rikers shaped those later years that would happen after Rikers?
For me?
Yeah.
I mean, a lot of discipline because it's like, I didn't have respect, feel me?
And there you learn respect.
Like, respect just, Kevin Gates said it the best.
And I take that with me.
Respect yourself and everything around you.
And everything will be fine.
You know what I mean?
Respect goes a long way.
So I always remember that.
You feel me?
Or that cocky thinking you tough and not like,
you know what I mean?
Like be you, but don't do too much.
You feel me?
Like, you know what I mean?
It's other tougher people out here.
You know what I mean?
It's people tougher than you.
You know what I'm saying?
Ready to die right now that you and you probably don't even expect it.
You feel me?
So just respect, bro.
It taught me how to respect myself and everything.
Everywhere I go, if I'm in somebody backyard, just people just speaking wise, proper etiquette, just, you know, I'll get disrespectful if I have to, but I try to always give people that respect and just go from there, you know what I'm saying?
How long were you in Rikers for?
Probably like four months or something. First, I got bonded out, you feel me, like, and then I end up doing a little bullshit, like, four, like, after the time, what it's called, like a six, five split or some shit, I'm dumb, I'm 41 now.
This shit was 16, but it was something like that where I, like, do a couple months in and a couple months on probation or some shit.
like that, whatever, you know what I'm saying?
So it was a short stay.
I didn't do no real heavy bid and nothing like that, you know what?
What happens after that?
After what?
After you get out of Rikers, you're 16 years old.
I'm still young.
I still go back outside, still doing dumb shit, you know what I'm saying?
I think I went right back to jail because I went to school on some gang shit,
had a fight with the oppositions and shit, folks, some shit like that.
I hit split a dude open.
I got arrested right at school, went right back to jail, for me?
Like, assault, you know what I'm saying?
Like, so it was just like, I didn't like, I didn't like.
learn right away. It took, I guess I was a hard head. It took me a good couple times to get it like,
okay, I got to slow down, you know what I'm saying? But I went right back. I didn't learn shit,
you know what I'm saying? Like, right back into the streets, started doing the music shit,
you know what I'm saying? So now I'm really feeling myself, you know what I mean? Got my hood behind me,
you got, you know, like, I'm a part of a strong situation, you know what I mean? And other homies
as a part of the gangs is certified, you feel me, most of them, you feel me, that I know of,
and the streets know of.
So I started filling myself too
for a lot of other reasons, you feel me?
For myself, because I'm tough
because my niggas tough, we fire,
we, we get money, we, you know,
but, you know what I mean?
It's just, you're young
and you just, you're thinking too fucking fast,
you know what I'm saying?
Do you think you're trying to fill a void?
Maybe you were not feeling love
by your mother or...
Oh, of course, like,
even when I was outside,
that was the case,
because no father, my mother,
uneducated,
no real Jews or learning anything.
You know what I'm saying?
I had to go outside.
You know what I'm saying?
I had to find my brothers outside.
I had to find a father, not fine, but, you know, take a mentor, like something like a father figure.
You feel me from the older homies.
Like, Prim, Prim took me under the wing, taught me a lot, talked to me, took his time.
For me, like, did things, make sure I was good.
You feel me?
Me, like, really gave me some real game, you know what I'm saying?
And that's why I will forever respect him, you feel what I'm saying?
And I actually started to learn some shit, you know what I'm saying, at that point, you know what I'm saying?
Tell the audience who he is, because we have a lot of listeners that aren't a part of that.
Oh, okay, Supreme Team.
Supreme from Kenneth McGriff from
Basley Projects. He's locked up right now
currently
trying to appeal it or whatever, but he's been
down for a while. You know, he was caught up
with the Merd-A-thing thing and all that shit, but
I don't really like, you know, talking
on that too much because, you know, the beef shit
and it's just like, you know, I'm a product of my
environment. I don't, if you want, like
50, let's just say 50 in preem, you know, like
I'm from another generation for me. I don't
know, I don't even know the real situation, for me.
I just hear what, why
they don't like each other, whatever the case may
be you for me like i wasn't there i didn't see it for myself you know i'm saying and i'm from a different
generation you from me but i'm gonna always give love and respect to the man because the man really
taught me some shit really put me under the wing and taught me something you feel me like but i don't
mean i feel some kind of way to 50 whatever like you know what i'm saying that's that's everybody
said that's y'all old a head older head situation you feel me so were you high up in the
crips then for that area yeah at one at one point i became one of the big homies and shit you
you feel me like you know i mean i was a part of part of the 30s before that but things
happened with that shit you know bodies drop shit happened police a lot of people just went turn
bitch i didn't do nothing per se but allegedly they were saying i did something or something happened
whatever you feel me but we parted ways a lot of people parted ways after that you know what i'm saying
so i found my home where i'm from you know what i'm saying my paybacks you feel me at that time
you feel me so you know shit just happened you know what I mean shit just happens you know what I'm saying
but i was respected to the point where other homie was like yo come come rock with me I could
you know because I'm official so they like come over here come over here come over here
I'm going home going back to Queens man you feel me I was in Harlem with that shit so I went
back to Queens with it you for me and I was just kept going hard but like I said at some point
I just had to just chill you feel me like me tell the audience what it means to be a big homie
you know you know you you you rise in the ranks in this shit you know I'm saying like you
put in a lot of work we didn't get in the detail but you know putting in pain for the set
bringing shit to the set you know you I know what I mean the ones that no no you know
I'm saying you you you rise up to a certain rank you're you know you're
and you become one of the big fools, you know, your baby gangster, YGs,
and you start and you work your way up, you know what I'm saying?
When you get to that level, how does that make you feel?
Right now, I just feel stupid, but before I felt like I was God.
I mean, I felt like I was one of the, like, more top of the world, like, you know what I mean?
I could call a shot, I could, whatever, you know what I'm saying?
Like, yo, uh, uh, structure and shit, making shit good, you know what I mean?
But it was cool at the time, for me, like, now it was just like, I wish I would have put a lot of
time into other things.
You know what I'm saying?
Did you finish high school?
No.
Nope.
No, no, no.
What happens?
I try to go to an undergrad.
It was stupid.
I only needed like two, three credits, you feel me?
At that time, they had some, what is it called,
an undergrad.
Some shit in Robeson Community College in North Carolina,
where you could finish those two, three credits
and being a community college,
working on some college shit too,
working towards a college credit.
I forgot it was a,
program or the name is under some undergraduate some some non-graduates some shit i needed like two or three
credits and i went out to north carolina and tried again you know i'm saying to go to robes and community
college and get those out the way those two three credits at the same time being in the community
college working on uh associates you feel me dropped out of that shit too you feel me like i was just
far away from home i got homesick i started selling weed and shit like that kind of like got caught up a little bit
got hot out there you for me and just went back home know what i'm saying tell us about your
next criminal case. How old were you? Oh shit. Like I said, this is like a snowball effect.
Just mine is just getting caught in the car with with with coke and weed and just little
shits though you know what I'm saying doing little but little little little bullshit with like I caught it
like a Nellen voice. Some shit was like a couple grams. They didn't catch me with much. You
feel me in two three grams. She'd get tossed out but this let this recent one I just beat and it wasn't
because I'm in the streets and shit no more you feel me like but I was still tied to people in the
streets. I had people around me that was still in the streets, you feel
feel me? And this day, people don't really tell you what's going on, what they got
going on. They just be around you, you know what I'm saying? Like it's, you know, so somebody
came through shooting. We leaving a club and they're shooting into the parking lot. You
feel me? Like, I got PTSD. I was shot seven times, you feel what I'm saying? Prior to this.
So, like, what you think I'm going to do? I panic. I grab my gun, cock it back, see where it's
coming from, and start firing down the car. You know what I'm saying? They was outside the car.
They parked that shit in the middle of street and jumped out like it's Cali.
something like a drive-by, you feel me?
So I got PTSD what the fuck you expect me to do?
I'm gonna shoot back, you know what I'm saying?
I don't want to feel more of them shit, you feel me?
Like, it took seven from a 45.
I'm straight, bro.
I'm good.
I'm good.
That shit burned.
That shit hurt.
You know what I'm saying?
Tell us that story about getting shot sometimes.
I was in Arizona.
I was on some hustler.
I was always been a hustler, always been a hustler.
You know, got raw for some shit, but, you know, it was a dude that I knew, you know what I'm
said and the person that i was going to see in arizona with the plug whatever you feel me like yo
uh-uh-uh-uh he's seeing me okay cool i guess the dude that i was i used to fuck with went to see him
within that day or two as well and he was oh i just seen ghosts you feel me i didn't tell dude
i was here because i don't fuck with him no more you know what i'm saying he did some funny shit
for me so he knew i was here i guess they moving around calling seeing where i was at i mean got the
drop on me
Coming out my hotel
Boy, put seven in me here
Seven from a 45
Coming out the side of my hotel
All I hear is
Matter of fact
Yeah, he fuck, nigga, something
He said some shit
He came from a...
I'm coming from the outside back
Of the door when he said, I heard some shit
Like, fuck nigga, some shit
So I turned, caught a hot-ass feeling
Nothing but God, the universe
Like, some shit about to go down
I try to turn around, you feel me?
Like, and my hand
like hits the nozzle with a gun
For me?
And when I'm around, I'm like, oh, my hand's still in.
I try to, like, grab it.
And that shit just, you see this shit right here?
That shit just ripped up to, boom.
And then I guess it, like, hit my little knuckle right here,
and it went right here in my temple.
That was the first one.
And I was about to fall out and shit.
But I just, like, some hot feeling came up,
like, you've got to fight for your life.
Like, somebody God or the universe telling me,
you got to fight right now.
If you go down, he's going to finish you off.
You know, like, I keep trying to fight.
My hand is on.
and already took the first one.
I keep trying to pull, pull, pull,
thinking they going left and right,
but my adrenaline is up,
so I'm not feeling anything, you know what I'm saying?
And I just got tired after, like, the tussle,
and I look to the left.
My soul is outside of my body, bro.
I promise you, this is weirdest,
craziest shit I ever experienced in my life.
All my babies, I look to my left,
and I see myself.
He's like, damn, nigga, that's enough.
That's what my soul said to me.
And I know I took care of this dude,
bro, like, let me not even say to Kim.
I held him down when he was in a bad situation, you feel me?
I saw him, I'm gonna say, I ain't take care that, man.
I held him down when he was in a bad situation,
and I helped him try to get some bread, feel me?
Like, had him doing, trying to, you know what I mean?
Taking him to club with me, popping bottles
when I'm putting clothes on his back, food in his mouth.
Whatever you needed, I had you, bro.
He was in a situation out of town.
You couldn't be there.
You had to get away, so I had you, you, feel me?
And I had an argument with his older,
and niggas lined me up, you feel me?
Like, but like I said, I told him like,
like, damn, that's enough.
Like I repeated what my soul said to me
And then I was like like falling already
But like twisting at the same time
So I fell on my stomach
My motherfucker shot me two more times
In the back, you feel me?
And try to run off and ran off and shit
You know what I'm saying?
What do you think was keeping you alive?
Not panicking
Because boy that
The panic I felt
After he ran off
Like
I try to like
Like move myself
For me
Like get up
I ain't even want to look down bro, I thought he shot my legs off.
You heard?
I couldn't feel nothing, nothing.
I'm trying to drag myself on the concrete to the point where I feel like a cement
blocks on my feet, bro.
I can't even drag myself.
So I'm like, oh, shit, I can't.
Well, I'm a dyes dark back here.
I'm like, help.
I'm trying to scream.
But then I feel like my breath lessening.
I'm looking like blood is everywhere.
Like, so I just threw my phone.
I said, let me start thinking.
Stop screaming because you're gonna make yourself just go now because you're putting too much energy into screaming ain't nobody shit dark out here
Lights is off everything you feel me so I flip my phones out my pocket my traphone and my regular phone
And I try to I'm down I'm not trying I dial now I'm one one but now I'm realizing my hand my fingers hanging
Like blood is just pouring for my face and my head and my fingers and shit I'm dialing out one just like
Save my life save my life I mean the address in the back of this hotel and he came
And the fire department pulled up first.
So that's like, I can't figure.
I remember that dude name, but I'm going to give him a check when I get up, you know,
because he saved my life, young firefighter dude.
Like, yo, he kept talking to me.
I started spitting up blood because when I laid back after I called the police,
I plug my holes up, you feel me?
One, two, three, liver, diaphragm, lung, you feel me?
As much as I could because that shit was shooting out of my, out of the holes.
Sorry, shooting out of the holes and shit.
So I'm plugging myself up, praying, asking God to give me another chance.
You feel me?
like please god like please i ain't even get the like my kids are still young everything i
didn't get to accomplish what i wanted to accomplish yet like i was working on a mixtape i was in
the studio two days before that like everything that was my last track i was about to drop it like
i had a lot of shit going on it just fucked a lot of shit up but like i said i prayed i laid back
as god to forgive me i start spitting out the mouth fire the palmed dude spun me over and
ripped my back over and that's when i seen the light and just went to the light but then
Come to find out, he cut my back open and split my lung to drain the blood, for me?
Because that shit was about to choke on my own blood, down my own blood.
You know what I mean?
But he saved me.
Why do you think you survive that, though?
I got a bigger purpose in life, you know what I'm saying?
And I'm still in the middle.
I'm 41, but I'm still in tune with the lingo, with the energy,
with everything that's going on with the young and the old, for me.
So I believe I was right in that middle for a reason to bridge that gap to give better understanding on both sides and try to you know what I mean and definitely try to change the direction of the next generation, you feel me?
Like but also to give my family everything they never had, you know what I'm saying?
But like I said, I'm starting a nonprofit and all that, you know what I'm saying?
I really want to help where the help is needed, you feel me?
Like, and I'm strong enough to do that shit.
You know what I'm saying?
I'm brave.
I don't care.
There's no fear, nothing.
When I got my mind on something, I just go for it.
So my purpose is definitely greater,
especially for my kids that raise them
and make sure they're amazing people, you feel me?
Like, all right.
How old were you when this happened?
33.
2015, this happened.
5.15, 15.
My thing coming in my testimony is numbers, you know what I got shot at.
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1115.
You feel me?
Now, why do you think, you know, something like this happens to you and yet you still go back out
to the streets because you were sharing with us before about how you got involved in other
moments using a gun protecting yourself in that matter yeah so 33 this happened like I said
in the last case that I caught wasn't from me being in the streets that's what I said before this
I wasn't in the streets I was actually having a party at a club you heard and people that I know came
couple gang bang and come show love you feel me like because I'm just a still a certified person
without being active you feel what I'm saying like I'm still a man still a stand-up dude they love me
I give opportunities, you feel me, advice, whatever.
I'm just a good dude, you feel me?
So people still come show me love.
They have some other dudes,
have some shit going on I ain't know about, you feel me?
And I got caught in the middle of this shit.
At the end of the club, we coming into the parking lot,
going to the cars, I got my lady with me,
I got two business owners with me.
I ain't got a bunch of street dudes with me.
We just caught up in some shit with some street dudes, you feel me?
And I had to, I snapped the light switch because PTSD, bro.
You feel me?
Like, I don't want to feel another one,
so whatever I got to do,
not to feel another one, that's what I'm gonna do.
Not feeling no more of them shits.
You feel me?
So after that shooting, did you leave the life?
When I got shot?
Yeah, the first time.
Yeah, no.
When I got shot seven times,
I started to get worse.
Because when you get shot, you get better,
or you get worse?
Like, you become good or you become super bad?
You heard?
And I found myself going down that fucking dark hole, you heard?
But I caught myself.
You know what I'm saying?
I caught myself,
and I cut myself off from everything, you heard.
I started making it.
I started stacking my bread, staying out the way, making investments.
I got a sports ball, hookah lounge now in Virginia, you know what I'm saying?
So I'm elevating to be the man that I'm supposed to be, you know what I'm saying?
At the same time, helping other people feed their families with jobs, you feel me?
Like young dudes that I see fought going down my lane, come here, come work for me.
Get out of that.
I see where you going, you know what I'm saying?
And they love me for it, you feel me?
Because it's like, you know what I mean?
Like a profit almost, you know what I'm saying?
Like, you know what I mean?
I feel the energies, you for me?
I'm an energy person, but yeah.
Was that shooting the reason why you lost your eye?
Yeah.
So I got two in the head, the temple, the head, two in the back and three in the front.
You know what I'm saying?
From a 45 at point-blane range.
I still got a bullet right here in my ribs, fragments everywhere, all that shit.
I mean, 10-hour open head surgery, if you could see it, you know what I'm going?
I got titanium plates all on the side of my face because the bullets crushed all the bones in my face.
my shit was droopy like this when I woke up
for me they had to
clean all the bones out the broken bones out
and reconstruct everything and that shit reconstruct
whatever they could and then plated everything else out
Do you think gang life has taken more from you than it has given you?
Definitely, definitely and I think everybody could have tested that
that has taken more from anybody than it's ever given them
Just please show me somebody that could tell me different
How did you know what I mean?
Like even if you was successful being
You see some
alleged gang bangers, whatever, in the industry, right?
You know what I'm saying?
They can say they reached, they made $100 million.
But how much shit that's priceless
did you lose in the process?
Fuck money.
That shit is just a tool, you feel me?
Like, life, you don't lost,
I don't lost homies.
I love the death like brothers, you heard.
No amount of money could bring that shit back.
You know what I'm saying?
No amount of money could take away that pain.
You feel?
Like, for people that have really been in this shit,
bro?
This shit's true.
This shit's rough, bro.
You feel me?
Like, I'm just blessed that I could, like, I got another chance, you feel me?
Like, that I was worthy enough to have another chance.
Some people got shot in the leg and died.
Some people took one shot in the back and died.
Do you feel me?
Like, so it's like, you know, like, I'm grateful, bro.
That's why I keep a smile on my face, you know what I'm saying?
Like, it can't be that bad these days.
If I'm, I haven't been through the worst, you feel me?
Like, it's all up from here.
And it's all good energy and smiles, man.
Just, you know, sit, man.
What was it like to wake up and realizing you only had one eye?
See that shit like, bro, that shit, like, it's touchy, you feel me?
Like, because it ain't even just about waking up that day.
It's every day I look in the mirror fixing myself up in the morning, you feel me?
Like, I got to look in that shit and see what somebody took from me that I can't never get back.
I can't never get that shit back.
A prosthetic ain't real.
I could act like I got an eye.
You know what I'm saying?
That's why I ain't put one in.
I mean, I still don't have an eye.
It can look like it, but fuck it.
You can see my pain on the outside and I always had pain in the inside.
Been through hell and back.
You know what I'm saying?
But it's real, bro.
That shit,
looking in the mirror every day is tough, bro.
You feel me?
I still got a lot of insecurities, bro.
You know what I mean?
Like, them, I ain't got no shame.
Zipper all the way up, you feel me?
They couldn't even close half my stomach.
You feel me?
I had to go home with my shit open
and clean my shit out every day
until that shit closed up.
You feel me?
Like, you know what I'm saying?
Pains.
Like, I just stood up for 72 hours the other day
from sciatic pains, bro.
You know what I'm saying?
Shit's feel like somebody's stalled.
And you're ripping that shit down your leg, ripping that shit down every 30 seconds.
That shit miserable, bro, I already cut my leg off the other day, bro.
Like, take me to the hospital.
I'm just amputate my shot.
I can't take it.
You feel me?
This shit's real.
This shit's real.
You don't want to get shot to these young niggas.
Don't do it, bro.
Like, this shit is a myth.
This shit is fake, bro.
Shit is a cartoon, you heard?
The toughest niggas from your block or the toughest niggas you look up to is the most 99.9.9% of them is the most disloyalist.
Fuck telling ass
Everything, bro
Like y'all looking up to the wrong shit
I'm saying
I seen the post this morning
About two legends from Queens
Dope boys
Feel me
I ain't gonna say no names
Because it don't even matter
You know what I'm saying
Rattin
Adda da da da da
But nigga gorg rappers
Nicky me not
Nika saying their name
Fem me
But
niggas is fake
For me
So like I'm done
Bro
Like point me to somebody
In the fucking streets
That I gotta prove something to
I bet you he ain't who he is
You heard
Y'all still misled
Man this shit is fake
This shit fake
They told me
They gave me a pack
When I was younger
You heard
They ain't give me a book
And tell me
I get these niggas
I'll get my book
I get my library pass
Paid for it
I'm gonna put you in a different direction
I ain't gonna do what they did to me bro
They ruined my life
You heard
The streets ruined
Like fucked a lot of shit up for me
Bro I'm supposed to be in an NBA right now
I was that nice
You heard
Ghetto Ghost came from Rucker Park
Boobie Smooth and Hannibal
They named me that
Going against Bone Collector
And only
And putting in that
I mean whatever I do I do to the fullest bro you know what I'm saying
Are there moments where you wish that you had just lost your life that day?
That's a hell of a question bro
That was a hell of a question
That's a hell of a question bro
I still feel like I don't deserve it for me
You know what I mean like my brothers know me for me like
This shit ain't no TV shit this ain't nothing this shit I don't care for this shit
You can look at my podcast I don't even do many podcasts you for me
Yeah
I mean I felt like I wasn't deserving you feel me
felt like I wasn't deserving because everything I did
all the people I hurt you know what I'm saying
the women I mean that the relationship wise the streets
hurting people you for me like you know like
taking shit just doing shit bro it wasn't worth it bro like
and I definitely felt like I wasn't deserving but I just
put my trust in God and just like I know what I'm doing
doing now is the reason why now I can look at it now these days a little differently.
Within these last couple years, two, three years, I can look at it differently now.
Like, you feel me?
Like, all right.
When your life flashes before your eyes like that, do you think about all the people
that you hurt, the pain you've caused people?
Oh yeah.
My mom's.
First of all, your immediate family from the pain, you feel me?
I'm forever in debt with them for what I've caused.
You know what I'm saying?
the hurt that I've caused on them and the pain and the shit that I put them through,
you feel me?
Like, that's all I thought about on that floor.
That's crazy that you asked me.
That because I was praying to God, bro.
Like, yo, I'm sorry, bro.
I think that morning I said, if I died today on my mama,
you could ask the chick that I was dealing with at the time.
If I died today, I did everything that I needed to do.
I feel like I did more than anybody at the time I was on TV.
I'm thinking about that stupid shit, 106 in Park,
torn with nise and having the 15 million,
he was on BET and being a man and moving around and okay i did my thing i traveled all over the
world you feel me the shit wasn't it the true values of life man i wasn't thinking about that
on that fucking floor i was my baby mamas i hurt you for me like my kids i'm about to leave behind
like the pain on my family like you know what i'm saying like my friends my real friends that
really love me like this shit gonna fuck them up like you feel me because i was a fucked up person
but I was still a good person too.
I had some kind of balance.
I don't know how I did it.
But I guess it's just who I was
and learning who I was now that I'm older.
You feel me?
Like, okay, you had some balance.
You did a lot of good things,
but you was doing fucked up shit too.
You feel me?
Like, it's shit tough, though.
Yeah, this shit, this shit tough.
Tell us how you got the name Ghost.
It originally came from Rucker Park.
Boobie Smooth and Hannibal.
Those are the hosts of Rucker Park.
You don't know who what Rucker Park is.
It's a big park in Harlem
and all the best players,
NBA players come in and play, you feel
for credibility and recognition
because you got to touch the rucker
if you, a streetball legend or NBA
legend, even Kobe played in that shit, you feel
me? So, you know, going against Bone Collector,
I got my name. You know,
celebrity game shit was going on, I think,
in York College. Then I just got the red
carpet to the rucker after that, you know what I'm saying?
So they was like, he's blacking.
My moves, I got so much swag, and I was
fucking him up. They're like, he's
blacker than my dad. He's going to call him
the ghetto ghosts, making jokes and shit.
That shit just stuck, you know what I'm saying?
It just stuck with me, ghetto ghosts.
You know what I mean?
Then the ghost shit trickled into the streets.
It just was the crypt name.
And then it just stuck, you know what I'm saying?
What were your 20s like before the shooting?
What kind of person were you?
I had moved.
I think I just, what kind of person was a?
I was still a fucked up person, bro.
I moved to the VA doing the dumb shit.
I officially moved over there like 2019, 20 years old, something like that.
you feel me because I was already doing my thing out there
and I'm having kids out there after that
and just stayed you feel me
got somebody pregnant and just stayed
but I was a fucked up person bro
I was getting in a mad shit bro
shootings, fightings bro like I was just
and I was out there
so they like this little knucklehead
Puerto Rican nigga from New York
is just too much like you for me
I was just doing too much
my life was still in the streets
when I left New York I went there
I was times 10
for no fucking reason, bro.
Were you going to prison at all?
Like, then I get locked up out there.
I got locked up out there.
Nah, I didn't do no bid out there.
Nope, I didn't do no, I never did no real long stretches.
It was just like months out of time, for me,
like one time of year, like three, four months
just waiting for, you know what I mean?
For something to happen, you feel me?
I got denied bond, shit like that, you know what I mean?
So it was never no long stints in prison.
But when I was in the jail,
systems and shit it was real wicked because
Virginia Beach ain't no different from fucking
Rikers Island you for me
they paint the windows you can't see shit
you know for me they keep you blacked in blocked
in you can't even look outside to see
nothing for me like it's just
it's just savage bro and everybody's
savage because ain't nobody doing nothing
for nobody so it was just like you know
killer be killed type shit
I'm saying get out and lay down and lay down
do you think that you
paid for all the
wrong you did in your life
as a gang member by that shooting
rather than end up in prison for say 10, 15, 20 years?
I always say that, bro.
I say my story is not meant to be dead or in prison.
It just must not be meant to be that way.
But I definitely feel like those seven shots is my karma
for all the fucked up shit that I've done to people,
you feel me?
I always say that shit.
Like, that's my karma, bro.
That's my karma.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, that's my karma.
Like, I feel like that 100%, bro.
You referred to yourself as a fucked up person in your 20s.
Do you feel like you still are one now?
Hell no.
I'm so much of a better person, bro.
I'm so much, because I'm so in tune with self-first, you feel me?
So it helps me be in tune with everything else around me, you feel me?
And be considerate to people's feelings and thoughts and what they got to say.
You know what I mean?
Like the biggest boss is a student every day of his life.
And I had to learn that, you feel me?
And I just, I listen, bro, two ears, one mouth, listen more.
to not speak so I try to listen to people and hear people out and don't try to fucking listen to
talk but listen you know to respond properly you for me like and I mean really hear people out bro
so you know and then like I said opening these businesses and in these communities and shit and employing
these people in these communities and shit these ain't people I grew up with in VA these people that
you know what I mean I just see or no or may not even know but I'm always extending the hand out you
For me? You know what I mean? So I'm taking care of my family. I got six kids, bro.
You from me? In Puerto Rican, we got big families, you know me?
You know what I'm saying? So I got a lot of kids, you for me? But I'm taking, I'm doing my
absolute best to make sure everybody's straight. Nobody's going. And none of my kids is no
in the hood. They all on the outer skirts. They all, they're good kids. They go to school.
They play sports. They, you know what I'm saying? And I'm proud of that shit.
Because I smile about it because they ain't going to go through what I went through.
And I'm going to make sure of it. You for me? Like, I'll be damned.
if I make them feel that pain that I felt, you know what I'm saying?
Or allow them to go through that shit, you know, I'm saying?
Yeah, how do you make sure that your kids don't go down the same path you did?
How do you be that parent that your parents never were for you?
Leading by example, bro, and always being there and always listening and dropping jewels
and giving them game.
Like one of my daughter's about to be 16.
She likes a little boy, little boy likes her.
You know what I mean?
And it's like, you know, I never had nobody there to show me.
I wouldn't probably have that many kids if I had a dad to tell me some shit.
You know what I'm saying?
But yeah, man, like, that's how I'm going to make sure because I'm in their life.
You know what I mean?
And I'm stern and I'm cool at the same time.
You know, it's a new day.
We can't be too tough on these kids.
You're going to push them to go do this shit.
You know what I'm saying?
You got to listen.
You got to beat, you got to, you know, meet them halfway.
You know what I'm saying?
But give them the game that you need to give them, whether it's tough or not.
You know, this is what the fucking happens.
I mean, my daughter, I tell them about STDs, all like, yo, yo, this shit is real.
I'm saying?
Like, for real.
So, yeah, man, you know, just being there.
Have you talked to your kids about your past?
Of course, because they watch the videos on YouTube.
They asked them, I got a video loco from back in the day on there with a bunch of blue rags and homies outside.
And they're like, what the, you are, they're old enough now.
They're watching.
And that's another reason why I got to set a better example, you know what I'm,
and make sure I continue to set a good example, because they're older and they're watching.
And if I'm not teaching, right, they're going to go do what I did, you know what I'm saying?
Just because I'm watching what I'm doing, you know what I'm saying?
Have you had to talk to them about the shooting?
Have they asked you why you look a certain way?
Of course, when I first, when I, yeah, because when I first, who was the first ones I saw when I got shot?
Definitely explained it to all of them.
My little ones now is getting the lecture now.
But I think my daughters was the first one I had to explain when I seen them.
I came from New York to, I was still fucked up,
cane, all that, barely could walk skinny as a toothpick, you know what I'm saying?
Because they looked like they were scared to give me a hug and hold me and shit
and like they used to, you feel me, and that shit right there is like,
man, you know, that shit hurts, you know what I'm saying?
So I had to let them know, you know, my bad decision making cause this, you feel me?
Thinking too fast, thinking I had it figured out, you know what I'm saying?
you know what I mean
and you gotta be careful
when you're out there
you gotta make good decisions
think three times
and act and speak once
you know what I'm saying
try to teach them that
because if you don't
this is what's going to happen
you feel me
what did it mean to you
to be a Crip
you go
you love this game
she
what did it mean to me
when then
yeah
you know
that was like a family
to me bro
I didn't have a family
I had a broken home
simple as that
my mother
not really
she there but not
really mentally there you know what I'm saying or physically my father not
physically at all being in any kind of way not on the phone nothing don't call us
nothing brother being shot you know I'm saying I had another brother that was
older than one year older than me play video games he in a house we can't relate
I'm outside so yeah is it really hard to is it hard to remove yourself from that
culture from that environment and some some for some people you know I'm saying
but some people that you know that's really one of them ones no not at all
You know what I mean?
Respect it or be on the other side of the coin.
You know what I'm saying?
I'm a man at the end of the day,
and ain't no other man going to tell me
what I could do and can't do, you know?
I've done my part, and I've done a lot of great things for people.
So just off that alone,
you should just respect what I'm doing, you feel me?
Let me go my way.
I'm trying to embark on bigger and better things
to hopefully one day change these situations,
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That a position to leave this shit alone, you feel me?
You know what I mean?
Why do you think some people can't walk away compared to others?
I think a lot of people, some motherfuckers that's the ones,
is really just in that shit and this is just who you are,
because this is always going to be in us.
You know what I'm saying?
I can't never change who you are, you feel me,
or what you've been through, you feel me?
But you can always be better and be a different person,
you know what I'm saying?
Some people just one of the ones
and they just stuck with this shit,
they don't give a fuck
and they just living this shit day in and day out.
But I think most people scared, you know what I mean?
I think they scared, for me, like,
to get a DP or fights or do whatever to get out
or, you know what I'm, get your, whatever,
however you got to, but I think some people
or have your homies looking at you different.
You know what I mean?
It's we live in a different day
what they're gonna call you pussy because you don't want to be gang no more and I'm a grown
ass man why you can't just say that you feel me I got kids I got a I got a bigger purpose in life
and stand on that like you stand on saying all that other fuck shit you feel me that's all that's how I carry
it and a lot of I lost a lot of friends bro a lot of people don't like me right now for me
especially moving on leaving the streets alone business they hate me because I mean I ain't
beneficial to them in that way no more or however I was helping them before or just not
wanting to be around no more like I don't I mean you all what you what you put yourself around like
I'm around a bunch of idiots that ain't going away I'm gonna be the fucking another idiot not going no way
you know I'm saying so simple bro like do you think if you had purpose in life early on you
never would have went down that path hell yeah I wouldn't know went down that path bro I was super
nice and ball bro if I had one person to fucking just sit me down bro and not and just be stern with me
bro i probably would have never looked at this shit i had all the looks i needed bro for my young boy
i was playing in all the biggest ajax lincoln park the ruckers the everything kingdom dame dash
tournament hall them everywhere i played for jim jones diplomats teams i played for they would
come get me at one point i was getting paid 250 350 a game just they would come to my hood pick
me up grab some sneakers and shorts take on your jersey i'm gonna take you over here i need to
bust their ass real quick i'm gonna drop you back off i bet i was that i was that i was that
one for me but it was when you when you on your own trying to make grown-ass decisions and
I'm saying as a kid it's fucked up do this with a ball and go somewhere because I think as a young
dude you ain't thinking about that level of NBA and the money and the life-changing situations it can
do for you you feel me so it's like okay I'm hustling I wear koogee sweaters in high school every
day sweatsuits and everything and he's like what the f is this mother-and-s I'm saying it was that
Am I coming to school?
My girl birthday
Or just on a regular
My high school suite
Or four or five boxes of sneakers
In bags
Huh
Some money, huh?
It's just
I made that decision
Because oh shit
This money is right here
Right now, feel me?
The streets suck me in
It was over
What's one thing you want
Someone listening
To take away from your story?
Man, listen
First and foremost
The streets
Ain't what you think it is
For me
It ain't cracked up
to what you think is supposed to be
or even the money
and even what it used to be
back in the day
what they used to glorify
you feel me so like come on
like let that shit go first of all
and second of all
take my story
my testimony
and just
your story
your situation could be worse
or you could have gone
through what I've went through
and not
redeemed yourself
not
rose over it
like the phoenix and the ashes
you feel me like
some people fall victim
to the smallest shit
and they sit at home
and rot
You heard? You know what I'm saying? This is an obstacle. Like we all go through obstacles. You
feel me? Just keep going. Keep going. Keep your faith. You know what I'm saying? Stand on business.
And I'm saying? Like no matter what happens in your life, bro, you can do whatever you want to do.
You can go wherever you want to go. Whatever your mind sees, you can bring it to fruition, bro.
You just have to separate yourself, surround yourself around good energy and people that want to see you win, bro.
You hanging around these knucklehead motherfuckers with bad energy
You're gonna get bad results bro you know I'm saying if you surround yourself with good people bro and you bring your vision and go hard bro
Anything sky's the limit bro sky's the limit man never give up bro look at me seven from a 45 plus some more shit jail couple other shots early in life
I'm still here pushing still got my own businesses clothing lines everything just still taking my cracks at life you feel me like
I mean winning losing winning winning winning
losing, whatever, winning, I'm still here.
I'm still doing it, man.
Never give up, bro, no matter what's thrown in front of you.
That's it.
If you could do it all over again, would you do it the same way?
Fuck no.
Fuck no.
Fuck no.
Even though this teaches me some shit, and it makes me a real stand-up man
and really been through everything in life where I could teach and drop jewels
and be a positive, a good impact on the youth, on the community, on the world.
But I would never do the same.
I would never take the same steps again.
You heard?
I would do it totally different.
Do you think the pain was worth the outcome?
It's going to be.
Yeah, it's worth the outcome.
Matter of fact,
I'm not saying it's going to be
because it ain't about the finances
and none of that shit.
It's just about the lesson.
You know what I get out of it.
So yeah, it was definitely worth it.
The pain, the struggle, everything
because I'm built different.
You feel me?
Like all that shit I've been through
built me differently to endure a lot of bullshit,
a lot of pain,
a lot of on this ladder going up.
You're going to go different levels,
different devil.
You know how it go?
You know what I'm saying?
But all of this shit built me to go on this new journey.
You feel me?
Like I'm for tough now.
Like, you know what I mean?
I'm not going.
I'm going.
I'm going to keep moving.
You feel me?
Why do you think some people can take a negative experience like you've been able to do
and turn it into a positive, turn it into a learning lesson and others can't?
Because my whole life has been fucked up and negative.
It's only one thing left to do.
It's try the right way.
You feel?
Me?
Like, so a lot of people that don't do it is because they don't come from that shit.
They really be like positives, then go negative because they want to be outside.
Your parents are probably, they parents.
I know people parents are lawyers and doctors, bro, they think they chose to come to the projects and sell drugs.
You feel what I'm saying?
I wish my parents had something.
You feel me?
I would have been way off, way better, everything.
You feel me?
Like, shit's confusing, bro.
You know what I'm saying?
So I just, like I said, people, like, people that really been through some shit, bro, it's only one way to go.
It's like, try this positive shit.
And that's why they were trying to push the positivity to stop the violence and all.
that shit because all they've endured was negative shit they whole life and bad shit they whole life
and they got to try something different something right i'm saying ghost i appreciate you coming on the
show today man i appreciate you bro it's a blessing thank you man just to share my story thank you brother
yeah it's real raw and emotional thank you bro thank you yeah thank you man and i wish you the best
too keep doing your thing my brother love that chain too the blanc brothers exactly jc express blonks is
my boys man awesome good people man yeah great people
Appreciate you though, man.
Appreciate you.
