Locked In with Ian Bick - Teenager Robs A Gas Station & Spends 6 Months In County Jail | Connor Duffy

Episode Date: January 21, 2024

In today's episode, I have the privilege of hosting Connor Duffy, widely recognized as the 'Sober Plug' among his extensive social media following. Connor will take us on a compelling journey through his past struggles with addiction and encounters with the law, sharing how these challenges served as catalysts for positive change. Join us as we delve into his remarkable transformation, from a life overshadowed by addiction to one defined by sobriety, success, and the creation of a platform that tirelessly promotes messages of positivity, redemption, and boundless inspiration. Connor Duffy's story serves as an embodiment of resilience and the potential for transformative growth, offering hope and inspiration to all who tune in. Hosted, Executive Produced & Edited By Ian Bick: https://www.instagram.com/ian_bick/?hl=en https://ianbick.com/ Connect with Connor Duffy: TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@thesoberplug?_t=8jCqvFzdhhW&_r=1 Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/thesoberplug?igsh=Ym9sOXRpYnc3YWpl&utm_source=qr Podcast - https://open.spotify.com/show/6eP42DqudDktce7n2HJBRB?si=NWOCb2JAS1-IhyoX_MRBrg Buy Merch: https://lockedinbrand.com Use code lockedin at checkout to get 20% off your order Timestamps: Chapters: 00:00:00 - Intro 00:03:57 - Growing up together in Brewster, NY 00:07:29 - The Importance of Networking and Podcasting 00:11:09 - The Early Behaviors and Influences 00:15:15 - Troubled Childhood 00:19:27 - Reckless behavior and financial instability 00:23:26 - Root causes $ Role of Connection 00:27:37 - The Wake-Up Call 00:31:53 - Moving to Buffalo 00:35:49 - Robbing the Gas Station 00:40:00 - The Failed Robbery Attempt 00:44:19 - Getting Caught and Arrested 00:48:43 - Life in Jail 00:52:53 - Rock Bottom 00:57:02 - Boundaries 01:01:03 - Overcoming Fear of a Felony 01:04:58 - Embracing the Dark Parts of Life 01:08:50 - Rock Bottom in Sobriety 01:12:57 - Finding Purpose in Recovery Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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And I'm like, I'm like, do you have anything like in here? Do you have like a hoodie or anything? He gives me this big purple hoodie that's like ridiculous, bro. It's like huge on me. And I'm searching in the car and I see sunglasses. And I, like, put on the sunglasses. So I walked in and had this knife in my pocket. And I demanded, I said, give me the, I approached the register.

And I said, give me the money. And it was a woman behind there. And she's like, what? And I was like, give me the money for something really bad happens. And her eyes got big. And she opened up the register. and started handing me money. I say, and let me get some new ports as well.

And she goes, yeah, I should you not. She goes, she goes, do you have ID? In today's episode, I have the privilege of hosting Connor Duffy, widely recognized as a sober plug among his extensive social media following. Connor will take us on a compelling journey through his past struggles with addiction and encounters with the law, sharing how these challenges served as catalysts for positive change. Join us as we delve into his remarkable transformation from a life overshadowed by addiction to one defined by sobriety, success, and the creation of a platform that tirelessly promotes messages of positivity, redemption, and boundless inspiration.

Connor Duffy's story serves as an embodiment of resilience and the potential for transformative growth, offering hope and inspiration to all who tune in. I need to give a huge shout out to my attorney, Jonathan. Einhorn in New Haven. You guys are always writing in questions about who represented me in my criminal case. Did I go to trial? Did I take a plea deal? And what that process was like for me. And I just have to give a second to shout him out because Jonathan Einhorn has made a huge impact in my life and he's been a dear friend. And listen, guys, if you're in need of attorney, if you guys are in need of an attorney, Jonathan J.I. Horn has maintained a criminal and civil trial practice in New Haven, in Connecticut for more than 30 years, focusing mainly on litigation.

He's admitted to practice before both state and federal courts in Connecticut and the United States courts of appeals for the Second Circuit. And he's also admitted to practice before the United States Supreme Court. All my Connecticut people that tune into the show, if you are in Connecticut still and are in need of an attorney, I would highly recommend reaching out to Jonathan Einhorn at Jonathan Einhorn.com for your legal needs. Big thank you again to Jonathan Einhorn for always having my back and for being a dear friend and supporter of this show. And remember, everyone, you could support the show by sharing episodes with your friends and on social media,

leaving us a review on Apple and Spotify, or hitting that subscribe button on YouTube. Now, let's get into today's episode. Sit back, relax, and get ready to lock in with Connor Duff. Connor, the silver plug, man. Welcome to Lockton, Will, Will, Milligram, you know, linked us together. When he came, he's like, yeah, you got to meet my business partner. Yeah, right.

You got to come on. He's got to come on the show. You have an incredible story just like Will's. For those listening, if you haven't checked out, Will's episode, that was a few episodes back, like a month or so ago. I appreciate you having me on, man. Will has been my boy for a long time, and he said he had a great experience on here. So I appreciate you bringing me on as well.

Yeah, of course, man. You grew up with him in this area? Yeah, we grew up from, we grew up in, Brewster, New York, not too far from here. And, you know, it's about an hour north of New York City. And, yeah, I mean, we grew up in the same town, got into a lot of trouble together. You know, man, we, yeah, we've been through a lot together. And we have a lot of similarities. And, you know, we've been on a very similar path. And we're in that, you know, you only meet a few people in your life where you continue to grow with. know, with one another.

And he's just one of those, one of those dudes for me, man. That's awesome, man, because there's a lot of people you encounter in life that don't make it that far with you. 100%. That they don't fit the mold or you have to cut off. It's like relationships friends, you know? 100%. Do you guys ever go to Tuxedo Junction back in the day?

So, bro, it's funny because I was young. I was young enough to where I like just missed the cutoff. So I'm 31. But it was, but I did know people that were going. and I never really went, but I knew about it. And I was, like, very curious about it. And I know, obviously, that's your, that was your business, right? Yeah, I had it from, oh, I used to do teen parties in high school in, like, 2011, and there was a ton of Brewster kids.

Like Ever, like, Teen Outback? Was that? No, it was just, like, called Teen Nights. And we did, like, these raves. And there was a lot of Brewster, Carmel, that area, group of kids that would come from the high school. I was a freshman. But then I eventually owned it from, you know, 2000. 2013 to 2016.

And how did you own it? And then what was the, how did you go about acquiring it? What was like kind of like, Are you interviewing me now? No, I'm kidding. No, dude, it was just like all kind of fate, man. Like it just like it happened, you know?

Like I didn't technically buy the club. I took it over. It was out of business and I worked out of deal with the landlord to let me fix a place up in exchange for a free rent. And then I just paid the security deposit. Like people think, oh, kid owned a club. Like I didn't pay money to get. get it. Anyone could have done it. The first club I owned, because I own two clubs, the very first

club that I owned, which was like the front room of tuxedoes, that I spent like a hundred grand just to put it together every contractor took advantage of me. But then when I took over the big room after the front room flopped, that's when I did a lot of the work myself. I've always been like a hard worker. And that kind of translates into what I'm doing now. Just I was never really good with business, you know, like I was a marketer, I was a hard worker, I was an executioner, get shit done. But when it came to business, I was just like not good. Now I'm a lot better at the business end of things because you kind of have to be like as you build the business. And what I've learned too is it's like you either got it or you don't. I'd rather like be the

hustler and be someone who knows how to move and take action than not have that. And you could learn business and stuff like that on the back end. But I feel like not everybody has that hustle. I think that that goes a long way. Yeah, and I think that's why I enjoyed working so much for someone when I got out of prison because it was like, okay, this is like, this is what you need to do, and then I just excelled at that. And I just, you know, gave all my energy to that until like I lost my passion for that. And then, you know, I got into working for myself again. And that's like, it's always something new and exciting. It's a different routine. You can make your own schedule and just like a lot of exciting opportunities. And you meet people and just like the people I've met.

and like I've done almost 100 interviews. Like that never would have happened if I didn't quit my job and took the risk to go into this. So networking is like one of the most important skill sets you could have. Yeah, and podcasting is the best networking thing ever. 100%. Yeah, man. And I've got a podcast too.

And dude, your setup is awesome here. Well, this is new. You know, we just got this in September. I never thought I'd ever have my own studio. but if I had my own studio, this is what I wanted. And then it was cool. Like I just, all I cared about was the big chairs. That's what I wanted.

I got these for 60 bucks at Facebook Marketplace. It was a steal. That's a bargain right there. I was like, listen, I just want the big chairs, you know? And, you know, over time we'll make changes like, we'll do new carpet. We'll do, you know, new surroundings or whatnot. But right now it's pretty cool. We have a whole upstairs we could grow into.

We have another studio down the hall that we rent out for clients. and, you know, other podcasts and stuff, but, you know, this is the baby. And seeing it, bro, seeing the transformation, it's like the beginning stages of doing anything is like, it's really, really cool to see where something starts and like the process of seeing it grow little by little by little, whether it's a studio, whether it's a social media account, whether it's a business, you know, it really doesn't matter what it is. But seeing that process is, it's exciting to me as a business owner. I know it's exciting to you.

It's like being able to call something your own and be able to shift things in the way that you want to as long as it aligns with your vision. And visions change. It's cool, man. Absolutely. And being able to say that no one gave it to you. Like no one handed it to me. I didn't get featured in some big show. And then bam, I have a platform.

Like there's so many A-list celebrities that like they're like, okay, I'm going to start a podcast. And they get a podcast and they automatically have all these viewers and listeners, which is great. and some of them are really good at it, but some of them are not. And it's just like it's loaded with ads and it's just like, I don't know, like they're not creating value, you know? They're just talking about the same things.

And on this show, everything, like it's very, it's like a therapy session. It's like we're talking about real life shit. Like we're talking about people that have been through the absolute worst and how they overcome it. You know, which is why you're here today. You have this incredible platform.

You know, there's a lot of, I guess, recovery people, I think, on TikTok. And a lot of them, the pages are kind of like, I wouldn't say they're like pop and they're kind of like dead, you know. And maybe they go off topic or whatever happens that causes like that decline. But I look at a page like yours and you're able to consistently post about your message and overcoming addiction and promoting that message and platform.

And your views are great, you know, you're, you, you have a great platform. You have a great platform. So, you know, I want to know how you got there, how that became and what life was like that led you down this path. Yeah, I appreciate that. So I guess to start, you know, I'll start with maybe my story a little bit and how it kind of turned into my passion. That would be a good part. So, you know, I grew up around the area in Brewster, New York. And, you know, from a very young age, it was apparent to me that I was.

I had a very addictive personality. Like, I always was looking for something external outside of myself. You know what I mean? I never felt like I was, like, at peace with myself. I always was, like, was, like, either stealing stuff or lying just to see if I could get away with it. Like, I always was looking for some type of, like, adrenaline to, that wasn't, you know, I was filling some type of void, you know?

and I remember so the behaviors were always there and I grew up with two older brothers with a single mom my dad passed when I was young so I was always looking for like the older crowd I was always looking for the connection with with older guys you know what I'm saying and so I remember I looked up to my older brother and and he was doing his thing I mean he was there's seven and eight years older than me I have two older brother and I used to watch my brother get hi, you know what I mean? I knew what he was doing. I didn't really know what it was, but I knew it looked attractive to me.

And I remember thinking that I couldn't wait for my time to arrive. I was like seven, eight years old, like watching him party and hang out with girls and do all these things. And I couldn't wait to be able to do that. I didn't even know what it felt like. I just knew I wanted it. You know what I mean? Whatever that was. And so a lot of the behavior,

and attitudes that play into addiction, I had. I was pretty much, like, prepared for. I used to lie for him. I used to, like, tell my mom that he would be doing things for me, that he made me dinner and, like, stuff like that, or he watched me. And I was always covering up for him. So the reason I kind of say that is because by the time I was using for myself,

I was already well prepared for those types of mannerisms and behaviors and attitudes. Um, it didn't take long either. I, the first time I got high, I was nine, you know, I was nine years old. And, um, it, it wasn't planned. But I knew the second I got high, I loved it. It was like that. It was immediate. You know what I mean? And it wasn't even so much the feeling of being high. It was the feeling of all the stuff that came with it. I was now going to have to hide. Uh, I was going to have to lie and, and kind of get my way out of truant. trouble, sort of speak, you know what I'm saying? So I was hooked right away. I really liked the feeling, even being nine years old. You would think, like, what the hell is a nine-year-old doing, getting high, and, you know, what does that do for them? But I liked it immediately.

And when it comes to addiction, this is why I believe I was kind of, I have the addictive personality, whatever you want to call it. because I don't remember my first steak and I love steak. I don't even really remember the first time I had sex. I don't remember the first A on a report card that I had. But I remember the first time I got high. You know what I mean? I remember that very, very clearly.

And so by the time I was pretty much 11 years old, I was getting high as close. It was just smoking weed, right? So I wasn't doing heroin at 9 years old. So let me clarify that. But I gravitated towards external vices all the time. And by the time I was pretty much 11, I was getting high as close to a daily basis as I possibly could. I would hang out with the older crowd.

My friends would steal from their brothers. I would steal from my brother. We were very resourceful. And that's another thing we learned in addiction, which we're very resourceful. We're very good at networking and good. getting what we want. We're very resilient. So as I was getting older, man, I just continued to get in more trouble. I was always getting in fights in school. I don't want to say always,

but we were just a rambunctious crowd. You know what I mean? Me and Will and a lot of other people, we were just always looking for something external. Anti-authority, always getting in trouble getting high. The first time I got expelled from school, I was, I was 12. I was in the 6th grade. And that kind of just followed. I never really found my, I never really, I wasn't good at anything other than getting in trouble and getting high, being the class clown. And that was kind of like how I got through my life. You know what I mean? That was kind of how I saw my life going was that was what, me a little bit of fuel and got me excited. And, you know, I pretty much just followed my path as I got older, dude.

You know, I was always looking for something external and wasn't afraid to get in trouble and all that, right? So by the time I was, that only lasted so long, though, right? Because you can only smoke weed for so long until it wears off and it's not enough. And by the time I was 15, I had heroin for the first time. I was expelled from school again in my ninth, my freshman year. And that was another game changer for me. That was something that I'll never forget to.

And I thought I was going to die. I remember I was with someone who was older than me. And I didn't even know what they were really doing, but they dropped a couple bags of heroin and I picked them up and I had no idea what they were and without even thinking about it until later on when I was by myself I ended up doing it.

I didn't even really know what it was. I didn't know it was heroin. I was just like... At Hyundai of Glendale, Lisa New, 2026 Hyundai Tucson SC Front Wheel Drive for 269 a month plus tax for 36 months with owner's assurance in America's best warranty, 10-year, 100,000 miles.

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And all of a sudden, every single worry I ever had or everything just kind of just went away. You know what I mean? and I didn't think I was going to make it. I thought I was going to die. And once that feeling subsided, and it wasn't so much of a worry anymore, I felt that peace. You know what I mean? I felt comfortable.

It was like a warm blanket was over me, dude. It was like something I had never experienced before, you know. And the reason I bring that up, it's because, like, I was always the, like, do first ask questions later. You know what I mean? I was always trying to, to, um, get outside of myself, like I mentioned earlier.

You know what I mean? And so, and I always, it's funny, you bring up Will, right? And I always ended up, I came to this realization that all the kids I hung out with, dude, they all act. We all acted the same, man. We all came from broken homes or at least things that were missing in our home life. And we all had that in common, man. We all got in trouble. We were all willing to do grimy things.

And, you know what I mean? And so I realized that a lot of the people that I hung out with in the circle that I always had, we were just misguided, dude. And we were all looking for something outside of ourselves. And it landed me in a lot of trouble. Where was your mom and older brothers when you started using? I mean, weren't they being that young and trying heroin, And aren't they picking up on any warning signs?

I see you're getting into issues at school. Yeah, so my mom did an amazing job, dude. I mean, she tried her absolute best to keep me on the straight and arrow. And she's like the best mom anyone could ask for. You know what I mean? And I was just very stubborn and stuck in my ways. And she was always around. She was always present.

But she was also a single mom, too, and needed to work. and was hoping that we would do the right thing and kind of like held her out a little bit. We did not. You know, we were pretty, we made it tough for her, man. My older brothers, like I said, they really, they had their own battles, you know what I'm saying? And so I didn't really have that guidance that I probably needed hands on,

you know what I mean? And my brother had his own. battle so he couldn't really guide me in the way that I need to anyway. You know what I mean? We're all just pretty much floating around aimlessly trying our best. And so that was, yeah, that was pretty much how like home life was for me, man. I mean, we were all very close and, and, uh, come from a really loving family and stuff. But I was just always looking for something external, you know? Were you guys financially stable? Not at all, dude. I mean, um, I definitely come from like a middle lower class background.

And that was something, it's funny you bring that up because that was something I was always aware of. I started selling weed in middle school and high school. And I made it a point to not ask my mom for things because I knew she really couldn't provide finances and stuff like that. I was aware of it. So we were definitely a little bit on the. the, I don't want to say poor, we weren't like poor, but we definitely weren't wealthy. How would your friends, like, describe you at that time period if we had some of your close friends with you right now to ask?

Reckless. I was just, I just, I was always a good kid. Like, I had a good heart. I had good intentions. I wasn't like, I wasn't like this massive, like, problem, you know what I mean? but I liked getting a rise out of people. I liked being the class clown, and I was just reckless. Like, I wasn't scared to push the envelope. And, like, when it came to getting high and doing drugs and stuff like that, there was no moderation.

There was no fucking chill, like, whatsoever. You know what I mean? It was just kind of, like, reckless balls to the wall. And, you know, if I don't remember what happened last night, it was a good time. You know what I mean? That was pretty much what it was like for me. Was there ever like a teacher that tried to like step in and give you some help or anything like that? Yeah.

And there were some teachers I really gravitated towards and had really good connections with. You know what I mean? And I think a lot of them tried and I think a lot of them saw the potential that I wasn't a stupid kid. You know what I mean? I just, it was a lot easier for me to put the effort into things that gave me immediate gratification than the things I needed to work hard towards. And when it came to school, I didn't really want to do well in school. Like that wasn't in my plans. I wasn't going to be a professor.

I wasn't going to be a fucking rocket scientist. You know what I mean? It just, I looked at school as like a networking event. That's really how I looked at it. and I treated it as such, you know what I mean? But there were some teachers that really had my respect, and I got along well with, and some shot it to me straight, you know what I mean?

And that's what I needed. I needed someone that was just going to shoot it to me straight, but I could never really get out of my own way. That was the thing, man. I was just constantly in my own way, and wasn't really willing to, I'd hear people out, but I wasn't really willing to take, guidance the way that I needed to, you know, because I was always trying to do things my way.

And it usually landed me in big trouble. I could relate. For sure. Now, knowing everything you know now, do you think that a broken home, a broken family home is a catalyst or a precursor to addiction? I do. And I think that I think the root cause of addiction is some type of pain and some type of trauma. There's something going on inside that.

we're running from. You know what I mean? And a lot of times we're not even aware of what that is. And it could be physical pain, it could be mental pain, it could be emotional pain. And for me, I think that there was just some stuff that I was missing when I was younger and coming from a broken home, like you mentioned that, you know, it played out into, there was something that I felt missing internally. You know what I mean?

But to be honest with you, I mean, it could be. something as simple as, like, it could be something as simple as anxiety. Anxiety is painful, and a lot of people struggle with it, you know, and a lot of people, you'd be surprised that drink just to get rid of anxiety. That's like mental pain, you know what I mean? And so the whole thing was, the whole thing is when we start using, it is, it's curing, it's a solution to some type of problem in the moment. You know what I mean? It's just a really bad solution to usually a problem that there are healthy coping mechanisms for, but I just, I couldn't find that on my own. You know what I mean? I didn't know how to deal with my problems. I didn't even know what the

fuck was going on with me. What is a healthy coping mechanism? So something for me that really, that really helped me big time. And it really really helps me big time today is like working out you know working out and going to the gym and taking care of your body and uh that's something that's really helpful meditation is another one just this right here right conversations with people that you can relate to and and people that you can um count on that that you know have been there before i mean the so addiction thrives in isolation when we're isolated I'll speak for myself when I'm isolated and alone, that's where my addiction thrives.

That's where it's at its strongest, at least in the beginning. So the opposite of addiction is connection. It's being connected with other people who have been there and who you can relate to and take guidance from, you know. And I think that even when I was younger, I didn't feel like I had a connection to people where I was willing to take their guidance.

now kind of I know I diverted a little bit from my story but by the time I got sober I was I was willing to I was willing to get connected with people and try something different man because I went through I went through a lot of pain and suffering and struggling and I can I can touch on that a little bit more as I got older my addiction progressed yeah let's get into that let's get into like the low moments the trouble you got in and what rock bottom look like for you?

So when I was 16, the first time I did heroin, I was 15 and so I couldn't use as much as I wanted to. I wasn't as resourceful at that time. But not much longer after that. I mean, by the time I was 16, I really started to experiment and really open up Pandora's box of drugs. You know what I mean? I got into absolutely everything. Xanax, different types of opiates, you know, ecstasy, you name it. I really, I was doing it. And I was just saying yes to everything.

And so that continued as I was in high school. And when I was 18, I had my license for literally like a month or two. And I got my first DUI, like right off the rip. At 18? Yeah, at 18. That's got to be a record. Right away, dude. That's a world record.

Yeah, dude. It was my first one. And I'll never forget. I was legitimately like 20 Xanax bars deep. I mean, it was just ridiculous. You know what I mean? And you would think at that moment, like that would be enough of a wake-up call. And it definitely wasn't.

Three months later, well, not even a couple months later, I went to treatment. My mom was like, all right, like, enough of this, you know what I'm saying? There was a lot of, there was a lot of evidence that I had a serious problem. I mean, and it was no mistake either. When I was 15, I went to my first outpatient rehab, you know what I mean? So it was always very, very clear that I had issues. I think just 18 things really started to skyrocket. I went to my first inpatient rehab.

And I was like, what the fuck am I doing here, man? you know, this is not where I want to be. And I was really uncomfortable. And I remember I walked in and it was a bigger facility. And so the person who was my roommate, he was like a 50-year-old family man. And it was like the total opposite of me. I'm like an 18-year-old, stubborn. I think I know it all kid who's just really lost.

And I'm like, what did I get myself into? And I realized not after long, we had a lot more in common than I realized. And I don't think I was ready to get clean at 18, but being in treatment really did open up my eyes to a different way of thinking and a different way of living. You know what I mean? It was like my introduction to, really was my introduction to sobriety. I just didn't know it at the time. I had no plans of like getting sober or staying sober. I had no, that was not in my long term plans whatsoever.

And so, but that was really my, my introduction to, to giving it a shot. And that stuck with me because even though I wasn't ready, sort of speak, some seeds were planted. You know what I mean? That stuck with me well after I left there that I wasn't even anticipating. So I went, I went into treatment for about 20, 20 something. days and I wasn't ready. I got out and I relapsed like pretty much within a few weeks of being out of treatment. Started hanging out with the old friends again and and I had all these genius plans for how I was going to be all right and you know I always thought I knew the next plan was going to

work out for me and my genius plan was well now that I went to treatment I'm I'm off the heroin, I'm off the Xanax. I'm just going to sell weed and just drink alcohol with my old friends. You know what I mean? I'm going to go back to hanging with the same friends and just selling a little bit of weed. And now that I'm not doing drugs, I'm going to be able to make all this money because I can sell weed. And that did not last too long. It was a pretty bad plan.

And not long after that, I got my second DUI within three months of the first one. And that time I totaled my car. And it was very, very close to, to, it was almost an absolute disaster. You know what I mean? And I still, I still wasn't willing to get sober, though, man. You know what I mean? I was in a lot of pain, dude. A lot of pain.

Didn't want to face my problems. Didn't want to be sober. And I was just a lost kid. You know what I mean? and um but it wasn't enough it wasn't enough for me you know and so as i got older and as i was like getting out of this weird phase of like getting out of high school and not knowing what to do because i definitely wasn't no scholar i wasn't going to fucking princeton by any means and uh i also knew i didn't want to stay home because being at home and being trapped there

was really uncomfortable for me. I always wanted to be like the life of the party. You know what I'm saying? I always wanted to network with people. And so I thought, holy shit, I'm going to, I'm going to be staying here in this town.

And, and I wasn't really cool with that. I wanted to do something else. And so my friend gives me a call. And he's a couple years old than me. He's in college. And he goes, yeah,

why don't you come to school up in Buffalo? And I said, man, like, draw, I can't get into school in fucking Buffalo. I have like seasoned. these here, you know what I mean? And he goes, yeah, why don't you go to a community college up here? You get away from school a little bit. You can live off campus with us. He was the vice president

of a TK.E. Frat House at the time. And I was a freshman. You know what I mean? He's like, dude, you can go to community college and have a good time with us. And I'm like, that's a brilliant idea. You know, that was another master plan I had. I'm like, this is going to work out great. And so that's exactly what I did. I went to a community college six hours away from home. home. Middle and nowhere, Buffalo. Yeah, bro. You know, and, but that was the whole thing.

It was a better plan than just sitting at home and kind of, that was attractive to me, being in that environment, being able to party, being able to get high and drinking and do what I wanted, you know what I'm saying? And that's exactly what I did. What did you do for money? I always hustled. I always sold. So you never had a real job?

No, I never, no, dude. I had, I was a bus boy when I got expelled in the ninth grade and somewhere locally here? Yeah, yeah. It was a restaurant. It was a restaurant in Patterson. It's like, dude, each time a restaurant is opened up there, it's shut down. Okay. You know what I mean?

So it was, what was it called, man? It was on 22 going towards, going towards Patterson, a Pauling area. I forget what the fuck it was called. but yeah I literally I worked that job for like two or three months and then I got fired from there for selling weed out the back like I you know what I mean so what were like some of the legal ramifications from the DUIs did you ever get arrested for that or anything yeah I did I got arrested for both of them and um was there a mandatory minimum at all for the for the second one so I guess not they weren't DWI

so I wasn't drinking I know that drinking and driving I think it still has a higher I think the ramifications are still higher for drinking and driving than using and driving which I never really understood that so it's drinking while intoxicated

or driving while intoxicated and then and then the DUI was driving under the influence I thought that were the same thing not well they're not and so it wasn't alcohol for either of the the two. But yeah, so this is kind of what leads me into where things got really bad. So

those two were still going on in court. And they were getting drawn out for a long time for pretty much about a year. And so I was still going to school in Buffalo. And so when I came home to school in Buffalo, I came back. And I was a blackout user at this point. I mean, literally on a daily basis, I was using a lot of Xanax and oxycontin was big and heroin and oxies, all that pretty much fluctuated between those two. And so when I came back from school, I got spotted from a dealer. And I got spotted a bunch of weed and some other drugs, too, some other pills and stuff.

And I had a pretty good customer base back home because I was always networking and selling. And that wasn't really too much of an issue for me, right? So, but the reason I needed to get spotted back here was because I was spending all my money up in Buffalo on using. So I got spotted, I think it was a quarter pound of weed at that time. And I blacked out that night. And when I woke up the next morning, all the weed was gone, all my pills were gone, all the money was gone. And I was in a panic, dude. I was waking out.

And Zanak specifically, it makes you do a lot of stupid shit. Like, it makes you turn into an individual that you are not. Your anxiety isn't there. Your nerves aren't there, and you're just not thinking rationally. So I essentially went knocking on kids' doors that I was with the night before. And I went knocking on doors and kids' parents would be answered. And I'm like, your kid stole money for me and this, that, and the third. And I was trying to extort their parents for money.

It was like ridiculous. You know what I'm saying? It was definitely ridiculous. It did not work. I didn't come up with any money. And so I told my boy Connor, his name's Connor as well. I said, yo, I said, you need to, you need to drive me to the gas station. And he's like, for what?

I was like, I'm going to rob the gas station. I was desperate, dude. He's like, you're going to rob the gas station. I was like, yeah. He goes, you're going to rob the gas station at like two in the afternoon on a fucking November, November day. I was like, yeah. I was like, let's go. He goes, all right, bro. You know, he's like busting my balls. You know what I mean? He's like totally like, yeah. Ready or not? Summer is coming. And Wayfair's Memorial Day clearance is on now.

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It was a gas station that was on the border of New York and Connecticut. And my genius plan was to rob the gas station and then get into the car, obviously, and we would go over the border and just kind of. to go through like Danbury and go through. Is that the one off of Millplain Road? You guys are going to run? It was, it was, it was, it was, Marty's at the time in Putt Lake.

It was, it's right near, um, it's like, putt lake and, uh, Brookfield, I want to say is like the border. No, no, no, not Brookfield. Um, I forget the, the town. New Fairfield. New Fairfield. Yeah. 100% right.

Yeah. So it borders that, like right there. And my genius plan. was to rob this gas station and just go over the Connecticut border and I'm like, oh, like, you know, this will work out perfect. And so I'm anticipating this like we're on our way and I'm thinking about all these things. And we set up, we set up a road or two away from the gas station. And I'm like, I'm like, do you have anything like in here?

Do you have like a hoodie or anything? he gives me this big purple hoodie that's like ridiculous bro it's like huge on me and uh and i'm searching in the car and i see sunglasses and i like put on the sunglasses and uh he goes he goes he goes he goes you're ready to go you're good to go i said yeah man i said i'll be back i'll be back into like 10 15 minutes 10 minutes because i had to walk a little bit we wanted to make sure it was like far enough away where uh he wasn't spotted so i go going, well, I'm walking. And the crazy thing is, is I wasn't even that nervous because of all the Xanax from

the previous night. And I'm waiting outside. And I'm just thinking about, like, am I really about to do this, like, for the next couple of minutes? And I decided I was. So I walked in and I had, I did have a knife in my pocket. I didn't have a gun or anything like that, but I did have a knife. And you got to remember, dude, I'm like an 18-year-old, a 19-year-old, bro, I'm like 110-pound soaking wet.

I'm like, dude, you know what I mean? So I had this knife in my pocket. And I demanded, I said, give me the, I approached the register. And I said, give me the money. And it was a woman behind there, which I feel awful about. I was a real piece of shit. And she's like, what? And I was like, give me the money for something really bad happens.

And her eyes got big. And she opened up the register and started handing me money. And I started to walk away. And this is how fucked up I was. I'm like at the door and I'm ready to leave. And I turn back around. and I think, well, I need cigarettes too. I turn back around and I say,

and let me get some new ports as well. And she goes, yeah, I should you not. She goes, she goes, do you have ID? So I was like, wait, what? Like, are you kidding me? She goes, do you have ID? And I just looked at her like, like what is happening right now.

So instead of arguing with her, I still just robbed the gas. station that's still fucking two in the afternoon broad daylight i was like all right let me just get out of here so i turn around um and as i'm right at the door i hear someone yell in the back and he was like hey and i just dipped i just ran bro as fast as i ever fucking ran my life uh i was i was scared i was definitely scared um and this is where the genius plan went astray. I was so messed up that I was just running.

And I was, and I was so messed up that I forgot where my boy was parked because I was on Xanax. And when you're on Xanax, you forget a lot of stuff. And even though he was just parking there like 10 minutes ago, I had no idea where he was. As I'm hauling ass down the street,

I see a woman outside playing with her kids, and she's looking at me like, what did this kid just do? You know, it was very obvious that I wasn't in a sober state of mind and something wrong was going on. I'm like, all right, well, there's witnesses one and two. I'm already, like, going through the scenarios in my head, man. I'm like, all right, I don't know where I'm running to. Here's a couple of witnesses here. I'm like, fuck, man. This is not going according to plan.

So I go to call my friend. and I call him, I said, yo, like, where are you? And he goes, what do you mean? Where am I? I'm in the same exact place I left you.

And I'm not even joking you, dude. In that moment, my phone died. Legit. My phone died. And I looked at my phone and it was dead. I couldn't turn it on. And in that moment, I knew I was cooked. I was like, bro.

I was like, my life's about to change. Like, legitimately. because I just robbed a gas station and I'm hauling ass and this is not looking good for me right now, you know? So, yeah, it didn't go according to plan. That's for sure. So what ends up happening? So as I'm running down the street,

there's literally nowhere for me to hide, man. Like in Put Lake, there's a lot of roads and stuff, but there was like nowhere for me to go. dude and the leaves were down it was the winter like dude i couldn't even like hide in the little strip of woods that there were like between neighbors and stuff dude there was nowhere for me to go how much money did you even have it was like it turned out to be like 457 bucks like you know what i mean something just ridiculous um and so i uh long story short i ended up hiding in this little strip of woods that i couldn't stay in because i knew i was going to get caught so i figured

my best bet was to strip off the hoodie that I had, take off the glasses, you know, ditch the, hide the, um, hide the knife and just to play it cool and like walk on the street and hopefully find, find my boy that was like driving around. Um, so I got rid of the hoodie. I got rid of the knife and, and all that. I get out of this little strip of woods because I knew if a, cops saw me hiding and chilling in the woods that I would been screwed right so I started walking out on the street and dude within like within two two seconds a cop pulls on to the road and I was like all right I was like here here we go um he pulls up he approaches me and he said put your hands on the on the hood I said what's going on officer this is the weird thing I actually wasn't that nervous

because again, the Xanax. Xanax isn't an anxiety medication. So I knew I was in trouble if this didn't work out, but I actually kind of was keeping myself in check. So he tells me to put my hands on the hood, and he's asking me questions, and I'm like, what's going on? And he's like, well, there's been something going on in the area. We're just making sure it wasn't you. And I was like, all right, no problem.

and long story short about five minutes goes by and another cop car at this point there were cop cars all over the place I mean within a few minutes there were about five or six officers around me and then they another vehicle

comes comes in approaches and they said hey can you can you come over here over towards this vehicle and I and I stood in front of it and the car went away no one got out and then they put me under a rest and I was identified you know what I mean

and it was in that moment dude where I was like my life is about to change big time I was pretty nervous at that point for sure and so they took me to jail they took me to Putnam County Jail which is in Carmel New York

and I'll tell you what I I didn't think I was going to see freedom for a long time. I thought for sure I was going to be going away for I had no idea, dude. I really didn't know. I was like 10 years. I was like, I don't know.

I have no idea. I was fucking nervous, man. And that was like one of the biggest things. It became obvious that I had a serious drug problem and that was nothing new. But when I did that and I was willing to do it. a violent crime it was considered a violent crime i got charged with a a be felony um uh robbery in the second degree um i didn't grow up that way man you know what i mean and that's not how that's not how my mom raised me and shit and that's where my addiction led me to dude uh i take responsibility for it

but that was a clear that was a clear sign of like where i was at mentally at that time um So I go to jail and I know I'm not getting out anytime soon. And so I'm starting to talk with the people in there. And luckily for me, I knew most of the people in there. I mean, I knew, you know, it was a county jail and I knew everybody pretty well in there. How long were you in there for? So I was in there for six months. You were in that.

So from the day you got arrested, you were stuck there for six months? Yeah. Weren't you only like 20 years old? I was 19. You were 19? They left you there for six months? So remember, we didn't come from, we didn't have a lot of bread. You know what I mean?

And my bail, I forget exactly what my bail was. It wasn't even anything crazy, dude. It was like, we needed to come up with like 10 racks. We need to come up with like 10 grand. And we were also at the point, my family was at the point where, what were they bailing me out? for because they knew that I was just going to get out, get high, and do the same shit I had always done. So in a weird way, my mom actually felt safe while I was in jail.

Were you forced to get sober in jail? Or was there drugs in the jail that? There was stuff you could get in the jail. And people are cheeking meds and getting stuff in and will actually visit me. me. Will visited you? Oh, for sure. Will's been my boy for a while.

Will did visit me quite a few times. And there were a few times where he almost snuck me in some shit. We didn't. But we were talking about it. What do you guys have to wear? We were wearing like a tan. We were wearing like tan tops and tan bottoms too. So it was like two pieces.

What was it? Like the be neck tans? Mm-hmm. Okay. Yeah. And what about the sleeping arrangements? Is it like a barred cell door? What does that look like?

So the unit that we would be on, they were all single cells. They were all singles. And the one that I was on was, I would say, there was probably 20 on the bottom and then 20 on the top tier. And then I was on West. And then East was the other one, which was actually, East was predominantly like the younger, younger dudes. the rambunctious and crowded ones and that crowd I kind of wanted to be with because those were a lot of the kids that I knew as well. East is pretty much the same thing.

I would say 20 on the top, 20 on the bottom. And then there were two other units that were smaller. There was a woman's unit that's small. And then there's, I guess you would consider it like a segregated one. You know what I mean? But it's not an incredibly big jay. Was the food any good? Dude, the food actually was surprisingly all right.

Was it? Yeah, it was actually... Normally everyone says that the county jail food sucks. It was actually all right there. We would do okay. You know what I'm saying? We were doing okay. Although I was always selling my trays and shit for like cigarettes and, you know, the BS, man.

Yeah. Getting drugs however I could. And I wasn't eating too much, man. I was like 110 pounds soaking wet. You know what I mean? And I was, I needed to start eating because I was worried about going up top. I was worried about going upstate. I thought I was for sure going upstate.

And I remember talking with the old timers. And every person I talked to, like literally every single one, they were like, dude, you're 100% going up top. Like, there's no way. Because from earlier, the two DUI, that I had, they were still going on in court. They weren't even finalized yet. I was still going to court for them.

And so I had two DUIs on top of this second-degree robbery, plus other shit, like possession charges and stuff like that, which aren't the end of the world. But I thought for sure I was going upstate, man. And it was really looking that way. We went through a couple different lawyers. We had the one appointed to me. who didn't do shit for me, of course, as we all know.

I mean, they don't do anything for you. And then my family knew someone in recovery that was a lawyer who was willing to kind of like do us a solid, as he said. And he ended up almost hurting my case more. And so we had to get rid of him. So it was looking like I was about to do a lot of time. Did you have any moments where you're like, wow, you know, I'm 19. My friends are all at college and here I am? Or were you just not having that mental clarity yet because of the drugs?

I was definitely there. I was thinking about what my life was going to look like over the next 10 years. I thought I ruined my life completely. And I really got to think about like how to get this bad. Like I was like how I was baffled by how bad my addiction was to where I could do some shit like that. You know what I mean? And I did a lot of thinking about basically. my early 20s were going to be gone and maybe even my mid-20s.

And I was getting prepared to sit and run jail and prison while my friends were going to school and, you know, meeting, making plans and creating businesses and maybe meeting wives. And you know what I'm saying? Like I had this picture of what everyone else was going to be doing and where I was at. And that was a definite rock bottom for sure. Wasn't enough to get me sober completely. But that was a low point, man. And I came to this conclusion too.

I mean, I knew this already. But I also realized in there like I knew I wasn't a bad kid. You know what I'm saying? I was just always like looking to, to, I was always looking for something. And I was just looking for it in the wrong fucking places, man. And that made me realize like how far I was willing to go to get the shit that I was looking for. And that's what addiction is, man. It's very cunning, baffling, and powerful.

And it puts us in positions that we're not meant to be. And it's way more so than just drugs and alcohol. I think everybody's an addict. I really do. I think everybody is an addict to some degree. Well, everyone has their own. their own thing, you know, whether it could be porn or it could be, it could be a woman, it could be a man, like everyone, like you, everyone experiences that feeling of addiction.

It's just we don't necessarily label it as addiction. A hundred percent. You know, I think that's what it is because, like, you know, like when you meet someone, you meet a person, you like, you want to be around them and you get that feeling and you like them and you like their company and whatnot. You know, in a way, you're kind of addicted to that. That's no different than the guy that's. after the drug use and tries it and wants to keep trying it again.

It's just we label that as more of a healthy thing rather than using the drugs, which is an unhealthy thing. A hundred percent. Anything that gives off dopamine can become addictive. You know what I mean? It can create an addiction. And there are natural things like relationships. We can become addicted to people. But there are other things too that it's easy.

It's easy to look at a drug addict or an alcoholic and be like, look at this fucking guy. Look at how out of control he is. Look at how weak he is. And yet it's coming from an individual who, you know, let's call a spade a spade of spade. You know, probably is, this might be a 300-pound individual who is addicted to food, maybe doesn't have their life together in certain ways, is slurping on a Starbucks, fropalapa maca you know what i mean and and the reason why i'm saying is i'm not calling anybody out but but it's to put things in perspective of like are all of a is all of your areas in your life

together you know what i mean are there things are there vices that stop your growth that take you away from the person that you're supposed to be and if we're all being honest usually usually the answer is yes Our cell phones, bro. We're all addicted to our cell phones. Now, is it going to create a rock bottom where you're going to rob a gas station with a knife? Probably not. Yeah. Well, it's just a matter of, you know, setting healthy boundaries too and noticing it.

Like, I did this thing last night where I put my phone at the other end of, like, the table. Because I'm always, like, when I wake up, I go on my phone because that's, like, my work. So I'm trying to – but I always feel like shit in the morning. Like, if I use my phone throughout the night, I feel like I feel like, kind of like hung over or overtired. So I'm trying to do this thing where I'm just not on my phone, like after 11 and just go to bed and sleep all the way through. We're being fed dopamine through our phones all the time. Have you had any experience with like addiction of any sort?

Never. I mean like I guess the borderline with like gambling and whatnot. That's a strong one. Yeah, that's definitely a strong one. But I mean, I haven't, you know, I haven't gambled in over a year. It's not like, I mean, to me I always used it as like a something like I needed. to do to make money like when I was doing the club and this and that like it's something I could live without you know but I think we all like like we're we're saying we all have our our own little you know

addictions and and whatnot so what ended up being like the um the conclusion to the case so that case was being so I when my father when my father passed there was a fund that I wasn't even aware of My family didn't tell me that I had any type of money waiting for me. So it wasn't a lot, but I had a little bit of money put away. And it was supposed to go towards college or something for a rainy day. Well, that rainy day was a lawyer because I got to the point where we realized, all right, this case isn't going anywhere. It's being dragged out.

I'm probably going to end up going to prison if we don't do something about it. And at that point, I was kind of accepted that feat at that point. I knew I was in trouble. I'm not a big tough guy. You know what I mean? And I thought I was in deep shit. I was like, bro, I'm about to be in it for, I'm about to be in for a rough stay in prison, man. And so we hired a lawyer.

And this lawyer was awesome. I'm actually going to shout him out. Joseph Tock in out of Carmel. And, dude, within like six days, he got me out of jail. And where I thought, all of a sudden, you know, my, so this was the condition. I had to go to rehab. And so I had a long series of going to rehab, multiple rehabs, and then sober living.

And that, and I had about nine months of sobriety where things were actually going well. I was actually in a healthy mindset. I started networking with people in recovery. I started getting momentum. I actually started working. having a legitimate jobs for the first time other than my little busboy job when I was 15. And I started to gain some self-respect. While this was all happening, I was still going to court.

And essentially, they offered me drug court. I had absolute zero confidence that I was actually going to be able to stay sober. because after that nine, I had a nine-month period where I was sober, but I ended up relapsing. And things were really bad from there. I mean, that was another rock bottom. I experienced things that I never experienced before and a different level of desperation. Matter of fact, I got to the point where I considered robbing a gas station again. Again, this, dude, I was heavily contemplating it because I was desperate for money one day.

and all my little hustles and things that I was used to doing, you know, I was kind of tapped out. So I was planning on, we're having a gas station better, like how I would do things differently. Obviously I did not, but the point I'm getting to is during this relapse, things were really fucked up for me.

And so I ended up living with my mom and detoxing on her couch. And while all this was going on, I was still going to court. So the court offered me drug court. And if I could complete drug court, I would get the felony expunged. I would get it taken off my record and get it dropped to a misdemeanor. But if I didn't, I had a prison stay waiting for me. So I didn't put that much faith in myself.

So I did not take drug court. and instead I settled for a 6-5, which was six months in jail, which I served already, five years felony probation. The difference here was that the felony was on my record and I would need to do five years of probation. Now, the logic for me was even if I continue getting high and doing my thing, I at least would have a set stay for me. It wouldn't be years in prison that would be over my head. it would be probably more of a manageable year in county or something like that. So that was what I settled on, was the 6-5, and I was okay with having the felony on my record. And so do you end up completing the probation without any issues?

That's the craziest shit of it all, was the reason I took the 6-5 is because I didn't think I'd stay sober. I actually stayed sober. And you've been sober ever since? I've been sober ever since, dude. Wow. That was kind of like the... You should have just took the rehab. I know, right.

I should have taken the drug court and I wouldn't have the felony, but... There's probably a way to get the felony off eventually. You know what's weird? I don't... I haven't experienced anything that... The felony hasn't hindered me in any way. Yeah. It really hasn't.

Like, and I'm not telling people to get... Getting a felony isn't that big of a deal. Because, of course, it's not something that... that you want on your record, but it really hasn't hindered me. Like, it really hasn't stopped my mindset or getting opportunities. And I think, I think the mind is a very powerful thing. I would much rather be able to shake hands and network with the right people and have the right attitude than then have a clean record and not have some of those skill sets that I learned. You know what I mean? So, yeah, I think the world has changed. Like the power of being a convicted felon is not the

as it used to be. Like, I remember people used to talk about, like, I just remember my lawyer saying it in court, like, you know, like he's going to have a felony on his record, this and that, like, to try to get me out of not doing like a jail sentence, like, as if, like, the felony was enough on its own. And, you know, you look at it and it's like, I mean, I think if anything, maybe opportunity, if people haven't want to work with me, but now on the path I'm on, like, I create my own, you know, opportunity in that way.

but it hasn't restricted me at all, not with housing, not with credit, not anything like that, you know. Maybe relationships or individual people, but then those people aren't really meant to be in your life anyways. A hundred percent. I think the only time right now in this day and age, a felony can affect you if you're like a sex offender or like, you know, if it's a violent offense depending on what it is and what the backstory is, but a normal thing. Like I know all these fraud guys that are starting businesses and it doesn't carry. wait anymore, you know, who cares? It really doesn't. Did you have any fears when you have the felony? Like, oh, shit, this is going to hinder me from getting where I want to go? Not at all, because I

wasn't thinking about any of that. I just always figured I'd be successful, so it didn't matter. So if it did hinder getting an apartment, I'd buy a house. If it did hinder getting credit, I would never use credit. I would always just have money. So that's the way I was thinking. But these are, they're like all these things that it's like train, you know. Now, like if I ever hear like someone hating or someone saying, oh, he's a convicted felon. Like, I don't care. It has an effective. It's only brought gain to my life at this point.

And it adds flavor to our story. Yeah, you need the flavor, man. I don't trust anybody that says that they don't have dark thoughts or they don't have a pass or, bro, we all got our shit, man. And we're all human beings at the end of the day. And I think if, like, people like ourselves, when you're transparent about, about, the dark shit and the stuff that most people don't want to talk about. Dude, people appreciate transparency. People appreciate the fact that, hey, we all make mistakes. And honestly, there's nothing better than a comeback story anyway. Yeah. So tell us about your comeback, like what you got

going on now. What's life like for you now? Yeah. So when I got sober at 20, I, like I said, I didn't have a lot of confidence that I was going to last. But, you know, I got plugged in with I got plugged in with a really solid network of people. I ended up going to AA, and a lot of people have their thoughts about AA and 12-step recovery, and I totally understand. There's different paths of recovery for everyone, so I don't, like, push that on anybody.

But that's what worked for me. And I got plugged in with some people that really gave a shit about me and wanted to see me do well, and I knew that they cared. You could tell when people are authentic or not, and I really had some good authentic connections. So little by little, my life really started to just change. Like, not anything drastic like overnight.

And I think that's the home run that, I'll speak for myself, the home run that I look for in the drugs, like, oh, that feeling I'm going to get like that is what's attractive to me. Recovery is the total opposite. It's just little base hits over and over and over again. and little by little your life starts to build. And so I started to see that. I wasn't getting these glamorous things happen in my life,

but things were just starting to take on different. My life started to look differently over the course of time. And so I started to work really hard. I started to get in shape. I saw my health grow. I saw the relationships in my life start to grow. I started to experience for the first time of my life, peace of mind. I had never experienced that.

That's what I was searching for while I was getting high. It was peace of mind. And that's essentially what addiction is. We're all searching for some type of peace. My drug of choice was heroin and benzos. When I did heroin and benzos, it gave me peace. I started to experience that in recovery. And I didn't think that that was ever possible for me.

And so as I was getting sober, man, I mean, my life was just, for the first year, it seemed like things were just happening quickly and quicker and quicker and quicker. All of a sudden I started to get a car. I had my own apartment. I had a girlfriend. Like all these things started happening. Like literally six months earlier, I was fucking on the verge of homelessness with a needle in my arm. You know what I'm saying?

And so it really proved to me that if I just continue to do the right things, the right things will continue to happen. And it's hard to have that faith when you don't even think that sobriety is an option. You know, you have to have to have the faith first to buy in and then to do the things that people tell you are going to work without seeing the proof that it's going to work. That's why sobriety is so hard for some people.

So that was like the beginning of my comeback story, sort of speak. But I also did get to a point where I was about, five years sober and um you know life started to get dull for me and i wanted more people told me that i had all the things that i that i should have and and um i had a career i was in the sheet metal union and which i had from my sponsor in a i he hooked me up with a with a solid career which at the time seemed like a great idea but i wasn't fulfilled i wasn't achieving anything I wasn't attacking anything I wasn't excited about life a lot of different areas of my life were not healthy I got into gambling and you mentioned gambling holy shit bro

dude that addiction is baffling and so I hit my own rock bottoms and gambling I got into a lot of debt I'm familiar with your story not anywhere near the you know dear your experience but but it was a lot for me, you know what I mean? And I was in a lot of trouble. I lost my apartment. I was losing relationships through the gambling and all that. And so long story short, I was about five years sober and I was not happy with my life. And I didn't want to get high, but I started to see that my life wasn't playing out the way that I wanted it to. And I needed to do something different. And I hit rock bottom in sobriety. And so I asked myself, if I could start over again, what would I do? do. And what I came up with was if I could start over again, I would help people get so over.

And that's what I had been doing. I was sponsoring people in AA. I was involved in the community and in my community, I should say. And I got joy from that. Like I like serving and contributing and seeing people get well. And addiction was the hardest fight in my life. So helping other people overcome that too. If I could just have like a hand in that, if I could show people a few things that can maybe help, that's your greatest, your greatest pain point can become your greatest pleasure once you overcome that. And that's what I learned in sobriety. So, so I was living with my grandmother because I lost my apartment due to the gambling. I had just gotten out of a long relationship. I was with an ex-girlfriend of mine for five years. And we had long-term plans and all that, but my addiction and other things got in the way of that, you know what I mean?

And so I was at this place where I was like, fuck it. I'm just going to do something. I got nothing to lose. I was like, I was at rock bottom in recovery, but I was like, I got nothing to lose. I'm going to start over. And so I started making content about recovery. And I was always listened to Gary Vee, Gary Vaynerchuk.

He's my boy. He's got good stuff. That's awesome. And he said he was really pushing TikTok at that time. This was at the end of 2019. And I started making recovery content about addiction, about recovery, just anything that came to mind. I would write ideas that I could help people with and in different situations in their recovery. and or in their addiction.

And that was the path that I wanted to take. I didn't even know what it was going to turn into. I just knew I wanted to help people in that field. I remember doing research and trying to find people who were making content about recovery and there were none. There were literally at the end of 2019, nobody was making content on there about it. So I was like, shit, I got nothing to really follow.

You know what I'm saying? I got no one to kind of take guidance from. But then a light bulb went off my head. I'm like, wait a minute, no one's making recovery content. I'm like, this is a good thing, you know. And I was like, I could be one of the first to do it. And so that's what I started doing, man. I just started putting out literally like four or five videos a day just shooting from the hit,

just like just trying to give value and trying to build a community and help people. And that was the start of my journey on social media. That's great. And now you have your own sober living house. right? So, yeah, so over the years I had my own business as a recovery coach and I started working with people one-on-one and in group coaching as well. And during this time, Will was getting sober. It was at the end of 2019. And so after Will got sober, he, a little while after he started working in treatment. He started working in recovery because that was what spoke to his heart.

And he was always saying to me like, yo, do you ever think about like working in treatment? And I was like, no, not really. Like I didn't know a lot about it. I'd been in treatment myself, but I didn't really know much about the industry or anything like that or like how I could make that into my into work. You know what I mean? And I didn't hear the best stuff about the treatment industry. There's a lot dark shit in treatment as well. I didn't hear the best stuff about it. So I kind of shied away. Now as Will stayed sober, Will's been to like over 40 treatment centers, legit as a- I know. He was telling me. Yeah. Yeah. And so as he stayed sober, I was like, I got to find out, I got to find out what did the place that he went to, what did they do differently?

I got to talk with one of the owners. I got to figure out what it is that they did that made it stick with him. That was my introduction to the treatment space. And there were a lot of people reaching out to me for help that needed help that were looking for treatment. And I just didn't have any direction to point them in. And it's weird. I started to feel bad about my content because people were reaching out to me for help as I was putting out content. and I couldn't help them.

And I was like, fuck. Like, I was in this weird place. So that was my introduction to treatment. And I started, later on down the line, I started doing outreach and, you know, doing like social media marketing. I guess you would call it for a treatment center. And that really opened up my eyes to, there's actually a need for this. You know what I mean? I never made comments.

content thinking like one day I was going to have my own facility or do my own thing. It was literally just like I enjoyed doing that, you know, and helping people. I mean, a lot of times in life, when you find something you enjoy doing, it can kind of tend to go into the path you're supposed to be on and create something for yourself. A hundred percent. And that's what happened here. It just happened naturally. And so I did that for, for, for, a couple years and and and then and then I just started to learn stuff about the the space that I didn't agree with you know what I mean um there's a lot of dark shit in treatment like I mentioned earlier that is not what it's about and unfortunately people manipulate the system and do things

that are incredibly messed up and I just got to the point. I just got to the point. where I wanted to do my own thing, if I couldn't see behind the scenes from A to Z exactly what was going on, if I'm going to put my reputation on the line and help people get them to facilities and stuff, I just learned that, you know what, I think it'd be best if I did my own thing. And where I had confidence that what I was saying to people was actual reality. Because sometimes you could try to help some people and tell them something. don't know if it's the full truth. It's, uh, you could end up getting people in pretty bad positions. You know what I mean? And, um, so me and Will, uh, we came up with a plan and, and literally

this was like, this was like, this was like five or six months ago. We were like, dude, I think we should open up our own, home facility, man. We should do our own thing. And, uh, I made a video on my TikTok where I said, um, I think it was, I think it was, I remember the date. It was, it was August 11th of this year like literally fucking four months ago and I was like I'm pretty much going to pursue my own facility I don't know how I'm going to do it I don't know me me and will don't come from money like we don't come from anything like that we weren't having conversations like we we had nothing like literally and uh and I made a video saying that I was going to open up my own facility and I wasn't sure how I was going to do it but

me and Will, we're going to find a way to do it. And within, within, I gave myself six months. I said by February 11th of 2024, I was going to have my own facility. And it was by November, November 11th, I had it. That's awesome, man. Yeah, dude. It's been an amazing ride, man. It's cool to see that you've done it too with someone that was your best friend who also

overcame addiction to. bro it's insane how full circle things really do come because me and we'll grow up together obviously we used together will will and i used to talk about trying to get sober we used to like be high and using pills and been like dude why can't we get sober like what's actually going on here you know what i mean and when i got sober at 20 he had his own journey and uh and when he came back from rehab i ended up being his sponsor, which I didn't think was going to work. I mean, that was like that. I was like, dude, this is not going to work. And you're not going to fucking pay attention. He's not going to listen to me. But it ended up working and then Will introduced me to a space that I had no idea about,

which was, which ended up, which is now my career, my career path. And so like we grew up together, we did our thing, used together, got in trouble. I ended up helping him in some capacity. He did a lot of his own work. I ended up helping him a little bit get sober. And then he ended up helping me in return get matched to this career. I had no idea about it's wild how everything comes full circle, dude. Absolutely, man.

Yeah. So we opened up a six-bed detox residential facility in California. and it's called California Wellness. It's in Mission Viejo. And it's a beautiful spot, man. It's comfortable. It's a homey environment. It's everything that we want out of a treatment program.

And it's cool to be able to make a program how you want it. And it's exciting, man. Yeah, from guys with lived experience too. 100%. That's huge in this space right now. 100%. So I'm blessed, dude. and it's just we could all turn our greatest weakness

into our greatest strength if we overcome it. And I think it's our duty to help people overcome those obstacles because a lot of people don't know how to overcome certain trials and tribulations, man. And if we've been through it, I think it's just kind of a good karma to help people get through that. Definitely. Well, man, thank you so much for coming on the show, bro. It's been a pleasure talking to you. I'm glad to see the success coming your way.

We'll have you plugged in on the description of this episode for our listeners to check you out. Definitely check out the sober plug on TikTok, some great content. And we wish you the best man. Thank you, Ian. I appreciate you, man.