Locked In with Ian Bick - The Night a Brutal Motorcycle Crash Got Me Addicted to Fentanyl | Logan Bryant

Episode Date: April 10, 2025

Logan Bryant shares how a motorcycle crash led to a fentanyl addiction, the downward spiral that followed, and his journey toward recovery. #FentanylCrisis #PainkillerAddiction #TrueStory #OpioidEpid...emic #HealthCrisis #AddictionAwareness #RecoveryIsPossible #survivor Connect with Logan Bryant: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/logan.bryant.393 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/logan_the_lefty/ Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@logantheleftyy?_t=8s6ngVTtTlW&_r=1 Hosted, Executive Produced & Edited By Ian Bick: https://www.instagram.com/ian_bick/?hl=en https://ianbick.com/ Presented by Tyson 2.0 & Wooooo Energy: https://tyson20.com/ https://woooooenergy.com/ Buy Merch: https://convictclothing.net/collections/convict-clothing-x-ian-bick Timestamps: 00:00:00 Moving from Dallas to the East Coast 00:03:57 From Aspirations to Unexpected Paths: Career Choices 00:08:04 Experiences Working in a Jail: Addiction and Restraint 00:12:10 Embracing Passion in College: A Personal Journey 00:16:10 Armored Truck Security Measures and Procedures 00:20:17 Armored Truck Cash Collection Process 00:24:36 Coping with Life-Altering Injuries 00:28:46 Decision to Amputate: Regaining Freedom 00:32:42 Motorcycle Accident and the Onset of Addiction 00:37:14 Overcoming Adversity with One Arm 00:41:50 Realization of Addiction 00:46:12 The Science of Dreams and Sleep Debt 00:50:23 Challenges with Suboxone and Withdrawal 00:55:02 Journey to Becoming a Licensed Chemical Dependency Counselor 00:59:14 The Five Alive Recovery Method 01:03:25 Perseverance and Perspective: Overcoming Challenges Powered by: Just Media House : https://www.justmediahouse.com/ Creative direction, design, assets, support by FWRD: https://www.fwrd.co Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:01:00 Logan, welcome to locked in, man. You're from Dallas, right? Flew in from Dallas. Yes, sir. Got in last night. First time in East Coast, like New York City type area? Yeah, I did go to Pennsylvania and in Pittsburgh a few years ago, but yeah. And hopefully you'll get to explore New York City tonight.
Starting point is 00:01:16 I plan to, yeah. And it's a little bit of a cold front in Texas right now, right? Yeah, we did. We had some snow and ice. It actually delayed my flight. I was supposed to leave at 11 a.m., but I didn't end up flying out until around Oh, they deleted that much. Wow. Yeah. I remember a couple years ago I was in Texas and that's when they had that ice storm or snowstorm, but it was a little bit and the whole grid shut down. Yeah. Whenever Texas gets snow and ice, the whole state just shuts down. Like nobody knows how to drive. Nobody knows how to act. Yeah. Did you grow up in Texas? So I was born in Texas. Um, and I lived there until about the third grade. My mom ended up getting laid off from her job at Excel. And so we moved. All my mom's family was in Mina, Arkansas, a little small town in Arkansas. So we moved there in the third grade.
Starting point is 00:02:01 Excel as in like Google X or Microsoft Excel? Yeah, she had a good job there. Okay. And your dad wasn't in the picture? So they got divorced when I was three. My dad stayed here and then me and my mom moved. But my dad was still very much a part of my life. And I'm an only child.
Starting point is 00:02:17 So I'm close with both of my parents. So you had a good relationship with him growing up? Still do today. So the divorce didn't really have any effect on you as a kid? Not at all, honestly. My dad lived right down the street. So we still hung out all the time. Were you too young to realize there was a difference between like Texas and Arkansas?
Starting point is 00:02:33 Yeah, I just remember I cried the whole way to Arkansas just because I was sad from leaving my friends. But I didn't really, you know, know a whole lot, but I just knew that we were moving. Yeah, it probably would have been worse to move later on in life, like if you're in like high school or middle school. Yeah, and my mom wanted to raise me in kind of a smaller town. And so was she able to find a better job in Arkansas when she got there? Not a better job. No, there's not a lot of opportunities in that small town. The town had about 5,500 people. So there's not a lot of middle class. It's either got money or you kind of don't. And we were more on the don't side.
Starting point is 00:03:11 So she got a job at a bank working like overnight. So I remember as a kid, I would go up there with my skateboard and I had the whole bank to myself. And there would be a cleaning crew and they would come in. And I used to go into the boss's office and see where they're at on the camera. And I would just skateboard all around the bank at night while my mom did paperwork or whatever she did. It was a really cool experience. Yeah. And did you guys go to public or did you go to public middle school, high school?
Starting point is 00:03:42 Yeah, there's only one, like there's one elementary school, one middle school, one high school. So the people that I met in third grade, I knew them all growing up because it's the same group of people every year. How big was your graduating class? around 100. Wow, we had 900. Yeah, small man. Everybody knew everybody. Oh, that's probably a blessing and a curse at the same It is. Pros and cons. I'm really big on privacy. So that's one thing I don't like about small towns. And you can't leave your house without seeing people and stuff. So like you said, there's pros and cons to it. Privacy, but you're on a podcast right now. Yeah. I mean, there's a difference, you know, about sharing what you want people to know versus what people just know about you. And this is a story that can help others too.
Starting point is 00:04:25 Exactly, exactly. How would kids describe you in high school if we had some of your classmates here right now? So I started smoking weed my junior senior year. So I was the stoner. And my high school actually implemented drug testing my senior year. And I was the first kid to ever fail a drug test in our school. I didn't even know they had drug testing in high schools. Yeah, I don't know why they did either, but they did.
Starting point is 00:04:51 Did you like having that label as a stoner? Um, it didn't bother me. I don't really care. Did you feel out of place because you were from Texas, maybe had like an accent or anything? No, because I went there so young. So people knew me. I mean, I made friends and stuff. I didn't play sports or anything, but I've always been funny. I was like the class clown. So that was how I kind of, you know, skated by. What were your goals for after high school? What do you want to become? Man, I never really had like these crazy goals. I did. I've, I've always. I've,
Starting point is 00:05:23 always love security jobs. I've always loved helping people. I did apply to be a firefighter. I passed the written test. I passed the physical test. The last thing was a structured interview. And I thought it was going to be me sitting down in front of like the fire chief or something. But I walk in, and I'm sitting in front of two cameras. So I was really out of my element. And I ended up not passing that portion of it. So, but I was a server. I was a cook. I had a lot of jobs. man, I did HVAC, installing heating and air. And then like I was telling you earlier, I was a correctional officer at Faulkner County Sheriff's Office. I worked there for almost two years.
Starting point is 00:06:04 I worked in housing and then mainly in the booking department. So with the firefighter job, what was the interview with like HR or something that they needed to record it? I'm not sure, honestly. They just had a screen in front. They like had questions posted up. And I guess I just didn't score high enough. And you didn't want to ever try again? No, I got the job at the, being a correctional officer, and so that was good enough at the time.
Starting point is 00:06:29 What did your mom think about that correctional officer job? She thought it was cool. She liked it. Did you know anything about corrections at that point? No. It was a crazy job, dude. They don't tell you what you're in for in the interview. Like, I saw my first dead body work in there. You know, I've always been very docile and compassionate. Like, I've never even been in a fight before. and so what was cool was working there
Starting point is 00:06:54 like kind of brought out like a different side of myself that I had never seen before because I had to be aggressive you know there was I worked night shift so there's only five people on our shift and three of us or three of them
Starting point is 00:07:09 were female and two were guys so anytime there was an altercation or a fight or anything like I had to step up and so I was fighting inmates you know getting pepper sprayed tase like it's it was wild because it was just a county jail was a training extensive to get the job or was it just like here you go yeah it wasn't too they just you shadow somebody for a couple weeks and it's about it was the sheriff nice to work for
Starting point is 00:07:31 yeah i met him a couple times he was a good guy oh only a couple times in the two years yeah he doesn't come around and like i said i worked night shift so that makes more sense there's not very many people like the highest officer there was a a corporal the sergeant everybody else would leave so What was a starting pay for that job? I think it was 1275. Shit. Yeah. Good benefits?
Starting point is 00:07:58 Good benefits. Really good health insurance, dental, stuff like that, yeah. Even on overnight it was only 1275? Yeah. How did that compare to the fire? But the cost of living in Arkansas is a lot cheaper. Like, we had a two-bedroom, two-bathroom apartment for $600 bucks. Okay.
Starting point is 00:08:12 Right by the college. Yeah. So. How did that compare to the firefighter salary if you got that job? I don't remember the example. exact number, but it probably would have been like triple because I mean a firefighter. And I applied to be a firefighter in Little Rock. So it was a bigger city. Did you like working corrections? Like as you, once you found your rhythm. Yeah, because I,
Starting point is 00:08:32 I love helping people. I love security jobs. And I got to do both of those things. It was really cool. What was the most thing, a most surprising thing about working there? The most surprising thing. I got. So like I said, I worked night shift. And I got to see, I got to see, I got to see a a very dark side of that city that I didn't know existed, just from all the people coming in on a lot of drugs and just, it was wild. A lot of just mayhem going on in the city that I didn't know existed, like a whole nightlife. Were there a lot of addicts that came through the prison or at the jail? Oh, yeah. Yeah, people would come in with drawing and stuff, but at the time I didn't know anything about addiction. You know, all I did at the time, well, when I worked at the jail, I really didn't
Starting point is 00:09:17 do anything. I just drank occasionally. But I didn't really know about addiction. I didn't know about withdrawal. I didn't know anything. And, you know, I looked back and, you know, I probably could have been a little bit nicer to some of the people that came in on drugs. But, you know, I was ignorant to it. So I didn't know.
Starting point is 00:09:34 How would you handle those people that came in on drugs? Well, it depends on how they act. But sometimes the cops would call ahead of time and say, get the restraint chair ready. And so we would just roll it out. And they go straight from the cop car to the restraint chair. And this one guy kept spitting. So we put a spit mask on him, and then he ate it. He ate the spit mask.
Starting point is 00:09:53 And so then we had to put two more on him. Did he eat those? No, he couldn't get the, couldn't do the two. We actually, Matt, who you met out there, we put him in one of those restraint chairs when we were visiting a county jail in Tennessee. We threw them in one of those, put the spit bag over them and everything, and locked them in one of the cells. Man, let me tell you, I've seen the biggest, baddest dudes.
Starting point is 00:10:15 That restraint chair will change your attitude. I promise you. Like it's intense. Did you ever envision yourself having issues with addiction while you were working there? Never. Never. No. I've never had an addictive personality prior to my accident.
Starting point is 00:10:32 How do you feel about it now, like that it kind of foreshadowed it in a way? Like when you look back on it that you worked with those individuals and that would happen to you years later. Yeah, it's crazy, man. I wish I could have understood it better to maybe be more like compassionate. it, but, I mean, at the end of the day, I couldn't have done anything for them because I was just a CEO. I'm not a, I wasn't a therapist or anything like that. So why do you think some people like yourself at that time are misunderstanding of it? Just because it's, it wasn't familiar to me.
Starting point is 00:11:05 I didn't deal with addiction. I didn't have anybody in my life at the time that was dealing with addiction. So, I mean, it's like, it's like with anything you don't know how to do, you know, I don't know how to fly a helicopter. So, you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. What were your hours for overnight? 7 p.m. to 7 a.m.
Starting point is 00:11:24 How did that affect like your everyday living? My friends were the people I worked with. That was who I hung out with. I just went to the gym, went to work, and that was about it. You know, drink, go to the bar occasionally. But not much of a, it's a pretty chill life. What time would you go to bed? So I would be in, I got off at 7 a.m.
Starting point is 00:11:46 I'd be in bed by 7.30 a.m. Yeah, oh, yeah. I went to bed right away because I would wake up early and go to the gym and then go home and shower and then go back to work. Oh, so you worked 11 to 7 a.m. 7 p.m. to 7 p.m. Oh, so that's a long shift. 12 hours. 5 days a week? No, so this is what's cool about it. So one week you would work five days and the next week you would work two days. So out of a two week period, you're only working seven days. So if you scale that out, you're working seven days. So if you scale that out, you're working six months out of the year. And would you reset your sleep schedule so you could be normal or you would always keep that same overnight schedule? Sometimes I would.
Starting point is 00:12:26 I guess it just depends on what I had to do. But yeah, that first day is kind of gone because you're sleeping. Did you and your mom stay close while you were working? Yeah, we've been close, you know, my whole life. Did you ever think about college at all? At that time. Yeah, no, not at the time, man. I never thought I would go back to school.
Starting point is 00:12:45 I did go to one semester of our community college in Mina, but the only reason why I went was because everybody else was going, and I felt left out. I had no idea what I was even doing. So I went, but I was like, I don't like this, so I just stopped going. Why do you think you weren't into it? I never really liked school, but I think that's because they try to force us to learn things that I'm not interested in.
Starting point is 00:13:10 So now that I'm in college and I'm doing something, that I'm very passionate about. I'm doing really well in school. I'm passing all my classes and, you know, I enjoy it. And I'm glad that I am going now because I actually care now and I have a lot of life experience. So I feel like it's helped a lot. Yeah, I think I feel the same way. You're taught so much nonsense that you never use in your life.
Starting point is 00:13:33 And even when you go to a college fresh out of high school, a lot of times those first two years, you're not even doing anything that's remotely related to your degree. Exactly. That's why I ultimately skip college when I wanted to go into hospitality. They said the first two years it would be like desk work and everything you learn in high school to a different level. And then you get into your degree stuff. Yeah. I'd rather just go to like a trade school or something like that if I was to go. I am having to take, I had to take a math class.
Starting point is 00:14:02 It was statistics. And I don't like math. I'm not good at it. It's just one of the things that my brain is just not good at doing. but I ended up passing with a 75. And that was the only math credit I need. So now I don't have to take math ever again. You probably never saw yourself going back to school anyways.
Starting point is 00:14:20 Never. And I would have never went back to school if I didn't go to that rehab I went to. Why did you leave corrections? I wasn't. So I got moved to a different shift. And me and the corporal were, I was the only white guy on the shift. I'll just put it that way. And they didn't like that.
Starting point is 00:14:39 So I experienced a little, like, racism toward me. And they were making me do things that I wasn't really supposed to be doing and stuff. So I just was like, well, I'm done with this. So I applied at Garda World, which is the armored truck company transporting money around Arkansas. So that's what I started doing. It's funny. I was just watching Denna Thieves Part 1 last night so I could go watch Denna Thieves too today. And I love that movie because, like, I used to do that.
Starting point is 00:15:04 Yeah, that is crazy. Yeah. Oh, I got a lot of questions about that. So before that, what were they making you do that was, like, not a part of your job? There's just certain roles that we do, like, dressing people out, you know, serving food and just the way that they were acting. Like, you can tell. I'm really big on energy and I'm really good at reading people and, like, I can tell when I'm not really wanted or doing things, like, just making me do things that I wasn't really supposed to be doing, whether it's showing people out when it's not my turn. you know, making me do intakes when I've already done three in a row, things like that. I had to take a picture of me and my other guest earlier.
Starting point is 00:15:45 Hopefully you didn't get mad at me for that. That wasn't in your job description today. No, man. So you end up leaving there, you go, the armored car job. Yeah, Guard the World. Was that a better pay than the corrections? It was by a couple dollars, yeah. And probably a little bit more scenic, I guess, change of pace, not the less boring.
Starting point is 00:16:04 Yeah. So they have two jobs. You're either a driver. or a jumper, you don't do both on the same day. So you're either a driver. And then if you're a jumper, you get paid a dollar more. And what is a jumper? The person that goes in and out of the truck and into the stores and things like that.
Starting point is 00:16:19 So is there always two or three people in the trucks? Two. Two, okay. In some cases, there's three or? I rarely saw three. Okay. Even whenever I would do like our long routes when we were, go all the way to like, Mina, like my hometown, like three hours away.
Starting point is 00:16:35 and we have like, you know, $1.5 million in the back. It's just two guys with two pistols. And so you're armed and you have a carry permit at this point? Yeah, I took a class and you had to score a 500 and I scored a 420. Did you – oh, so you failed the class. No. Oh, no, no, my bad. You had to score at least a 400 out of 500.
Starting point is 00:16:55 I scored a 420, so I passed. Gotcha. And at the jail, did you carry a gun like outside of it or no? No, I didn't get deputized. Okay. So no gun. Okay. So like in the state.
Starting point is 00:17:05 or federal prison, they arm everyone. Like everyone's trained with a gun. Are they? The correctional officers. You don't use it in the prison. Okay. But outside of it, in case you're on perimeter and stuff. Yes.
Starting point is 00:17:16 You have to be armed. A lot of these places have armories and stuff and shooting ranges. Like in the jail, like our sergeant, he would have a gun, but they'd have to put it up before they came in. Okay. Interesting. So this armored truck thing, were you ever scared, like, that there was going to be a robbery? Sometimes when I went into the mall, I would have to go into the mall.
Starting point is 00:17:34 I would have to go into the mall by myself and I would have like six stops. And so I had a bag, you know, with like $250,000 in it. And so it was a little, they train you pretty well, you know, teach you to walk along the wall, things like that, teach you to just have your head on a swivel. Hold the bag in your, like the hand that you don't use your gun with, just things like that. But it was, it was interesting. The place I worked, they hadn't had an incident for seven years. So I wasn't, like, too concerned. But it was...
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Starting point is 00:19:00 As far as, like, enemies? Yeah. just any suspicious activity. If you see like a gang of people, you know, ski masks, just anything like that. There wasn't a ton of training on like what to look for, but I had prior training from working at the jail. And like I said, I'm just very naturally observant and I'm very good at reading people.
Starting point is 00:19:20 Yeah, I was talking to someone last night about when we were watching Denna Thieves about how there's less and less in today's world armored car robberies and even the high-end bank sophisticated robberies. Most people are just going in with like a note and passing that over rather than going in like a six-man team with guns, like what you'd see in like Boston or anything like that is. It's probably because of the amount of time you get you could get. And there's not that much money in the banks anyways.
Starting point is 00:19:46 I don't think they keep that much. Right. And to pull off a heist like that. Who really wants to do all that? Right. That's true. And cameras, GPS. I feel like that it's really hard to pull off.
Starting point is 00:19:56 Yeah. So how secure are those trucks? They look nice on the outside. I mean, we had older models. The newer models were really nice and really cool. I like the newer models because the front and the back were completely separate. And whenever you're a jumper, there's a door on the side. So you just come in and out and it's just a lot easier.
Starting point is 00:20:19 And you have your own little key thing to open up the door. But man, them older trucks are just a metal box. Like it's not safe on the inside. Like if we were getting a wreck, we would be screwed. There's no seatbelts. It's just a metal box with sharp edges everywhere. Wow. No seatbelts at all?
Starting point is 00:20:38 I mean, the driver, but... Not the passenger? No. I didn't wear one. Nobody wore it. And the truck's bulletproof, though? It is bulletproof, yeah. And the glasses, too, like the windshield?
Starting point is 00:20:48 Yep. And then we had little slots on the side right here that we could pull down and put our gun out. And do you have more weapons in the truck? Mm-mm. Nothing, so it's just your pistols on you. Yep. And any food supply or anything in there in case, like,
Starting point is 00:21:00 You get stuck or anything? No. How much money would be in the truck on a daily basis that you're traveling with? Oh, man. I mean, it just depends on the route, but anywhere from a couple hundred thousand all the way up to millions. And what does the inside look like? Is there like compartments for each? Like, how does everything stay separate?
Starting point is 00:21:19 So we have bins, and we just get everything ready as far as, because we have a list, and somebody makes the list as, like, efficiently as possible. And so we just follow the driver driver's, drives, they have a clipboard. When we stop, we put up the time we got there. Then when we leave, we mark the time we leave. And that's it. And the driver just sits there. You're not really supposed to be on your phone or anything. You're supposed to be alert. But yeah. Are you counting the money at all? Like when you pick it up? How does that work? We have a scanner. We just scan everything in. Scan the actual money. Yeah, we don't actually count the money itself.
Starting point is 00:21:54 But the bags have a amount on it. The people fill it out. We scan every bag in. So you don't open up the bag itself? Nope, they're sealed. They're sealed. So if there's a mistake, like if they wrote like there's 500 here and it turns out there was 400, it doesn't reflect on you. Correct. They call the store back up and say there was a discrepancy.
Starting point is 00:22:13 Yep. Okay. And now the money, once you pick it up, it goes back to your location or to the banks that they're banking with. So we sometimes would go to Loomis, which is the other armored truck company, and we would like trade. I'm not even exactly sure what we did, but we would have to go to Loomis every single day right before we went back to the shop.
Starting point is 00:22:33 And like either give them money or take money. But no, we just took all the money we collected back to our shop. And then we had these little stalls and we'd take all our money in there. That guy would ring it all in and make sure everything's there. It's about it. And it stays at that shop? Yeah, it stays at the Gardell World. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:22:54 Until the bank comes and picks it up? Or do you guys transport it to the bank on a different day? I think we would take it to the bank. bank. Okay. Yeah, because there was routes that had banks on them, and so we'd take money there. Sometimes we'd have to pick up, like, we would have a dolly. Sometimes we'd have to pick up like thousands of dollars in pennies, dimes, nickels, quarters, half dollars. And that was about as physical as it got, was having a dolly full of change that you have to load out to the truck and the driver can't help you, so you have to do it all by yourself. How long did you do this job for? I did that job for like a year and a half. And that was when I got in my motorcycle accident was while I was working there. So bring us through that. What happened?
Starting point is 00:23:37 So I traded my car. I had a firebird. And I traded it for a Ninja 250. That was my very first bike. And I started learning how to ride. It topped out of like 99. So nothing crazy. But all of my friends I rode with, they had like 600s and 1,000.
Starting point is 00:23:59 So they're all going fast. and I'm always the one at the back, always the one trailing behind. So I was like, okay, this isn't going to last long. So I ended up upgrading to a Suzuki Jixer 600, rode that for a while. And when I had that bike, I was actually really, like, scared. Like, I never did anything crazy. I never tried a wheelie.
Starting point is 00:24:22 I never, I kept the two wheels on the ground all the time. I never tried anything crazy. And then I ended up selling that. and I got another, I got a 2014 jixir 600. And for some reason, you know, after I was riding it for a while, I just started getting ballsy and I started practicing wheelies. And I was getting really good at him. I could ride a wheelie for like half a mile.
Starting point is 00:24:48 And one day it was a Thursday. I was leaving the gym and I was riding home. And I don't remember anything. My brain took it all out. but witnesses had pulled over and talked to the cops. And the cops that worked my accident, they knew me personally from, because I worked at the jail.
Starting point is 00:25:05 So they saw me all the time. And apparently I was doing a wheelie, and this lady pulled out in front of me, and I rear ended her doing like 60 or 70. And the cop, he says, like, verbatim, he was like, it looks like somebody threw a plate of spaghetti at the back of the car. That's what he said.
Starting point is 00:25:23 He was like, I thought I was rolling up on a dead body. So I woke up in the hospital three days later. I was in a medically induced coma. Half of my face was paralyzed. Three broken vertebrae in my neck. Seven broken ribs. A broken right arm. And a ton of road rash.
Starting point is 00:25:44 Was she at fault or were you at fault for that? Probably a little bit of both. But majority, probably me. Because I probably shouldn't have been doing a wheelie there. Do you remember the last thing you saw? No, I don't remember anything. It took me a while to even remember that I was like going home from the gym. What was it like to wake up out of a coma?
Starting point is 00:26:03 Like, do you remember anything during the coma? No, nothing during it. I just woke up in excruciating pain. And I kept thinking it was a dream. Like I thought I was going to wake up. But I never did. What would you compare that pain to? I don't have anything to compare it to because it's just bad, dude.
Starting point is 00:26:24 Excruciating pain in your whole body. Who was the first person? you saw it when you woke up? My friends and my family. My mom had, so a couple years after I graduated, my mom ended up moving back to Texas. So my mom, whenever I got my accident, you know, they were notified. They both came down. And then my friends from Conway were there as well.
Starting point is 00:26:46 What was the first thing that was said to you? I remember saying I'm thirsty. And the doctor told them not to give me water, but my dad was like kind of sneaking me water. because I'm really close to both of my parents so it was really hard for them to I mean they almost had to bury their only child so when did you realize you were missing an arm and had lost in the accident well no I had my arm
Starting point is 00:27:11 you still had it yeah and we didn't know so the way the brachial plexus works is you don't really know the extent of the injury until they go in surgically and see and keep in mind I had never broken a bone prior to this accident so I thought when you broke a bone, you just couldn't move or feel it. Because I couldn't move my arm. It was just paralyzed. And like, I couldn't feel it either. Like I could scratch it. Actually, I burned it and I didn't even know. But yeah, so I just thought when you broke your arm, you just couldn't move it or feel it.
Starting point is 00:27:41 And so every day the doctor would come in and he would put his hand in my hand and he would say squeeze it as hard as you can. And every day, it was just nothing, nothing, nothing every day, And, you know, eventually after like six months, I started hearing the term brachial plexus. You know, we think you have a brachial plexus injury. And your brachial plexus is a set of nerves, five nerves that run out of your spinal cord down each of your arm. It's called your brachial plexus. And there's three ways to damage it. You can stretch it, which is common in like sports injuries.
Starting point is 00:28:16 There's actually a famous guy, his name is Inkey Johnson. I think he played for Tennessee. He was like eight games away from going to the NFL. and he got hit wrong and he had a brachial plexus injury and his arm is still fully paralyzed till today. But so you can stretch it and then you'll just have like tingles in your arm and you'll probably recover after like 24 to 48 hours. You can tear it down the middle and that's where they'll take nerves from your legs and
Starting point is 00:28:43 they'll put them up in there and, you know, hopefully start to regenerate. But keep in mind your nerves don't start regenerate until a year after surgery and then it's a millimeter a day. So it's an extremely slow process. And the third and the worst way to do it is called an evulsion. And that's when you rip it from the spinal cord. And so the doctors did the surgery. They went in.
Starting point is 00:29:09 And the next day he comes in and he was like, Mr. Bryant, you have a five root evulsion. We've actually never seen one this severe. You basically amputated your arm from the end. side out and you'll never use your arm again. And that was really hard. It was really hard to hear as a 24 year old kid, you know, I didn't really know how to process that. Because I was very right arm dominant. And so I've had to, you know, relearn my whole entire life with my left hand. And like, how does anybody take that news? You know what I mean? Like, it's hard. And so I decided
Starting point is 00:29:48 after 10 months in two days, I decided to have it amputated for the, to enhance my quality of life, because it was really just in my way. Like, I had purchased a $200 custom fit sling that just kept my arm tucked up against my body like this, so I could just do daily life activities. You know, at home, I would throw it in my pocket. And one night I was pulling something out of the oven, and I guess my arm flopped down, and I burned it. But like I said, I didn't even know until the next morning when I woke up, I had second degree burn. and a huge gash on my wrist.
Starting point is 00:30:20 I didn't even know it was there. So it was actually like a hazard to have it. What would have happened if you didn't amputate? It could have gotten like infected or could there have been to the rest of your body? It would have just started to atrophy up. Even after 10 months, my hand was already curled up like this. And was blood still flowing to the arm? Yeah, just not very much.
Starting point is 00:30:40 And it was dislocated. So it hung like four inches lower. And it's actually still out of socket. It's not even. And they just left this so it would like look normal. a t-shirt. When did they first, you know, bring that thought to you that you could lose your arm if the surgery wasn't successful? So they did a surgery on me and they were actually wanting me to keep it so they could see the outcome of the surgery. But I didn't, I live an active life and
Starting point is 00:31:05 I didn't want to carry that thing around for the rest of my life. It was big and heavy and I had to sleep on my back. I slept on my back for nine months straight, man, like every fucking night. And so since amputating it, I've learned how to sleep. on my left side. I just have way more freedom. It did nothing for the pain. I'm still in pain 24-7 nerve pain, but it removed the dead weight and it gave me a sense of freedom back. How soon after the accident did they float that by you that you could lose your arm? Or was it not even a thought? No, they never told me that I could lose it. They just said I wasn't ever going to use it again. And I made the decision to have it amputated. I had reached out to a bunch of people that had similar injuries. And they would have
Starting point is 00:31:48 like, they would have like one stretch and two tears and one evulsion. And six years later, they still can't use their arm. I had a five root evulsion. I knew I was never going to use my arm again. So just take it. It's in my way. Get it out of my way. How did your parents react to that decision?
Starting point is 00:32:11 They just wanted, they've always been very supportive. whatever I mean they'll they'll give me their opinion and their suggestion but they've always they've always believed in me and trusted that I that I made the right decision you know I mean nobody man I've had people tell me like oh I would never I would have never cut my arm off or I would have never come my arm off how can you say that you've never been in my position before you you have no idea what I go through every day how can you say you know what I mean like to talk about things that they've never been through before some people keep their arm some people don't i mean i'm still glad i did because it gave me so much freedom man
Starting point is 00:32:53 i mean it's probably that feeling's probably comparable to like what you see in the movies where someone's like leg or arm gets stuck under a rock or a tree and they they're forced to cut it off themselves because they literally they have no other option and they're pressed against that wall and people on the outside are like i would never do that how could you do that but you wouldn't know until you're in that actual position you're feeling what you're feeling and you want to live somewhat of a life rather than nothing. Exactly, man. Like, it's not fun.
Starting point is 00:33:22 The brachial plexus injury is a nasty injury that leaves people paralyzed. Were you paralyzed when you woke up still on the half side of your face or was that recovered when they took you out of the corner? No, it was. Yeah, half my face was paralyzed. It was so weird.
Starting point is 00:33:38 I had to take, like, facial reconstruction classes. They would bring in like a, like a, it was literally like a toothbrush, just something that like vibrated and they would like put it on my face. and stuff, and luckily it came back. And I also have what's called Horner Syndrome. It makes my pupils different sizes. That's from the brachial plexus injury.
Starting point is 00:33:55 So one will be small and the other one will be big or vice versa. I'm not sure if you follow any prison TikTokers at all. But Jesse Cross and something just happened to him recently. He got into a motorcycle crash. And his arm, he's starting to gain a little bit of momentum again in the arm, but he had an issue with that. and there was like total nerve damage. It's in a sling right now.
Starting point is 00:34:21 And he's like just moving his fingers again now too. Yeah. It was pretty scary. They were saying he could almost lost his arm. Yeah. And if not his life. 65% of motorcycle accidents end in death. So it's a very high statistic.
Starting point is 00:34:36 Not a lot of people make it out. When did you start to struggle with addiction from that accident? So after my accident, the doctors put me on a bunch of oxycodone. And that was kind of my first introduction. to opiates. I had tried them like two or three times prior to that, but I didn't like it because it just made me like throw up. But when you're actually in pain, they are nice because they help. So after my accident, I lost my car, I lost my bike, I lost my job, I lost my apartment, I lost everything. So at first, when I was getting them, I wasn't even taking them. All I did
Starting point is 00:35:10 at the time was smoke weed. So I had this girl that would buy them. I sold them. She knew she would text me like the day before she knew when I got them and I was selling them to her and at that time they were a dollar a milligram and I was getting like I don't know 60 every two weeks so and that was my only income was selling those and I would just buy weed or food or whatever um and then you know a couple months go by I would take one here and there and I've always like snorting stuff so I was snorting them but not very many probably like five out of my whole script and I would do a little more, a little more. And I ended up moving from Arkansas to Texas, 13 months after my accident.
Starting point is 00:35:58 My dad drove down and helped me move. Funny story about me moving. Me and my roommate moved down here, and he was driving a red pickup truck with a U-Haul on the back, with all of our stuff in it, and the whole thing caught fire on I-30. We lost everything. Really? Yeah. What happened?
Starting point is 00:36:16 I don't know. The fire started in the bed of the truck. And Austin was like, my roommate Austin, he just said, dude, it just went up in flames so fast. Like he burned himself trying to save some of our stuff. So it made moving in really easy. You're going to buy all these stuff. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:35 Did insurance cover that for you? No. That was his grandma's truck. He actually did get insurance on the U-Haul. So, like, we didn't have to pay any money, but we lost everything. But anyways, whenever I moved here, I went to the doctor and I tried to get my oxycodone that I was prescribed in Arkansas, and the doctor wouldn't give it to me. And so I was like, okay, well, I'll just get them off the street.
Starting point is 00:37:02 And I'm a very resourceful person. Making friends is easy for me. You know, like, if you look for something long enough, you're going to find it. And so I eventually found this plug, and he was like, yeah, I got what you're looking for. And so I got some and I started doing it a little bit. And I was like, these are like really strong. And I hit him up. I was like, yo, what's up with these?
Starting point is 00:37:25 He was like, oh, those are the, those are fentanyl. And I was like, oh, cool. So I guess I'm just on fentanyl now. So I wrote that for about four, four or five months. And then I stopped and I detoxed in my room. And it was bad. It was not fun at all. and I didn't know anything about addiction.
Starting point is 00:37:47 I didn't know anything about withdrawal. I didn't know anything about relapse at that time or anything. But I wasn't using for about six months, and then I started it again. And that... I'm Hannah. I've lost 75 pounds in 20 months with GLP ones, plus diet and exercise.
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Starting point is 00:38:32 Why would the doctor refuse to prescribe you that after just recently being in such a severe accident? Because they're addictive and they're probably just trying to crack down on it. So they didn't want to recommend any alternatives. They tried, they, but I wanted what I wanted, you know. What were you doing during those, you know, months of addiction? Were you able to work at all or just at home? Yeah, I've always had a job. When I first moved to Texas, I was selling furniture.
Starting point is 00:39:02 I did that for a while. And then I got set up. We, the store I was working at, we got a new, we got a new, we got, got a new store manager and he wanted to bring in somebody from his old store, but we were full up. So he like set me up and ended up getting me fired. And from there, I went to the smoke shop. And I've been at the smoke shop for three years now. How hard was it to adjust to life without an arm and getting back into that routine and the rhythm in those months?
Starting point is 00:39:35 Yeah, I get asked that all the time, you know, like what's it like, you know, doing everything? and I don't, I feel like because, like, if you were to try to go a day using your opposite arm, it would be different because subconsciously you know you can go back to using your other arm. But, like, I didn't have a choice. And like, when you don't have a choice, you just do it. Like, I just did it. You just have to do it, you know, I mean, and I don't know, because I didn't really use my left arm for anything, but everything I've done, I'm like a natural lefty, dude.
Starting point is 00:40:05 Like, I beat people at pool. I beat people at bowling. You know, I play pickleball. I do ping pong. Like, I do it all. And I'm like decent at it. It's been really cool. The one thing is writing. Writing's difficult because not only am I trying to learn how to write with my opposite hand, but I can't hold the fucking paper. So I'm always having to like set something down and write. But, you know, nowadays we don't really do a lot of writing. Everything's on laptops and phone. But writing is probably the toughest thing. You think that was the toughest or was there anything more difficult for you? I mean, just life in general, man. Like, I basically put life on expert mode. Like, I can do everything I could before. It just takes a couple extra steps.
Starting point is 00:40:48 Like, I clip my nails with my feet. Really? Yeah. Wow. Like, just, I've always been very independent. I don't like depending on people. And so after the 13 months of no job, I moved here, I rebuilt my entire life.
Starting point is 00:41:03 I got a job, an apartment, a car, and I did all that with one arm. Like, I'm, you know what I mean? I don't like, I like depending, I like being independent, like having my own money, my own. I don't like depending on other people and it's going to take a lot more than losing an arm to stop me. That's a great attitude. Yeah. How does it make you feel when people try to help you with things or because they realize you're handicapped, they might go out of their way?
Starting point is 00:41:27 Yeah, so that one's like a person-to-person amputee thing. It depends on what's being done. I like to do things on my own. And, you know, people have offered to make me, like, vices and things like that, like things to help me. But I don't like using vices because what if I don't have it? I like to just do things as it is and as I can because I don't want to depend on something to help me because then what if I don't have that thing to help me? So I just like to do things as raw as I can. But when it comes to, I don't mind help.
Starting point is 00:42:02 You know, my roommate has been a tremendous help. Like, he ties my shoes for me. He trims my back. Like, he's helped me out a lot. He does a lot for me. But I do as much as I can on my own. Have you been able to find, like, an amputee community out there? Yeah, I'm in a bunch of amputee groups on Facebook,
Starting point is 00:42:22 and I share my story on there, and it's helped a lot, yeah. Do you feel like it's given you more purpose in life going through that accident? not the amputee groups No just in general Like having that accident Like being able to have an inspirational story That can be shared with others So for a long time
Starting point is 00:42:42 For like five years I had talked to a bunch of other amputees And they were all like yeah The accident was the best thing that Ever happened to me And I was like no Like I want my fucking arm back I never had that mentality
Starting point is 00:42:55 Until now Like until I went through Addiction and rehab, and now that I've found my purpose in life, and now that I'm going to school and everything, like, now I can finally say, like, I'm okay with what happened. When did you first realize that you had an issue with addiction? When I first realized it was,
Starting point is 00:43:19 so we took me and my roommate, so my roommate Austin, he moved to Texas from Arkansas with me. him and my cousin ended up dating and they got together and have a kid so we all three lived together well for his birthday we took a trip to Sedona Arizona and I ran I had I had my pills with me well I ran out on the trip and I had never experienced withdrawal before and I went into like bad withdrawal and luckily we had we cut our trip short by a day And so I was able to come back And Rob when I got back
Starting point is 00:44:01 I went and got some But that was when I realized like Oh shit Like I have a true physical dependence On this chemical And it was That was when I realized like How bad it was
Starting point is 00:44:10 Was when I ran out And I couldn't get more at the time Did you ever think about asking For help in that moment? Help how? Rehab, family, friends No, I didn't know I didn't know anything about rehab
Starting point is 00:44:24 At the time I didn't You know I just didn't know I was ignorant. And it's hard to ask for help, man. It really is, you know. Describe the feeling the drugs gave you. Well, when you first start doing it, it's great and it's fun.
Starting point is 00:44:41 And it doesn't take a lot. You know, I can make one pill last all day. But the more you do it, the higher tolerance gets, the more unfun it gets. And the more money you have to spend on it. but it just helped with pain man like i'm in pain bro all the time and it it numbed myself i was just numbing myself and i had no fulfillment i had no passion i had no drive in life you know i was just working at a the smoke shop that i work at now but and i would have my drugs dropped off to work every day i mean i just had no purpose in life and all i it was all i had was the drugs it was just me and the
Starting point is 00:45:27 drugs, but they would help me sleep because when I lay down at night, my nerve pain gets a lot louder and it gets a lot more active. So I had a lot of trouble of sleeping. And the drugs, you know, it's weird because I say, like, fentanyl like gave me energy. Like, I would do it at work and it would give me energy. And it just made it to where I didn't feel, feel pain. Did the drugs start to affect your, like, personality and, you know, your work life? Because you said you always had a job. Did people start to see that at work? Like your attitude start to change?
Starting point is 00:46:01 So I hit it very well. And that's like kind of scary how good I am at hiding it. I hit it for like two and a half years from everybody. Like nobody knew. My mom kind of knew. But yeah, man, I'm naturally very outgoing and very friendly and optimistic and, you know, just outgoing. And that drug just made me isolate myself in my bedroom.
Starting point is 00:46:26 Like all I did was go to work and go home. Go to work and go home. That was all I did. I didn't socialize and had no drive, man. I had no ambition. And it turned me into a liar, a thief, like things that I'm not, things that I'm not proud that I did. But when you're an active addiction, it's like there's no rules. It's like you're going to do whatever it takes to get that next hit, finding ways and means to get more, more, more, more, more.
Starting point is 00:46:52 One is never enough. or once too many and a thousand is never enough. Did you ever have thoughts of suicide? No, never. I mean, there was times where I would have been okay with not waking up the next day, but I would never do it on my own. I've never thought about suicide. How supportive were your parents once you moved to Texas
Starting point is 00:47:14 and were you trying to kind of restart your life in this new way? They were glad I moved back because I had been away from them for so long. So they were glad. I always wanted to come back to Texas. I just didn't plan on doing it, you know, at that time. But the accident, you know, I lost everything. And I have, you know, all my families in Texas now. So I was able to get help and support.
Starting point is 00:47:37 You know, whenever we lost everything in the fire, like my aunt bought me a new TV. We ended up getting a new couch. So it was kind of like a blessing. And the few things that I really truly cared about, I didn't lose those. Because I think they were like in my car or something. So, I mean, it sucked at the time. but it ended up being okay. We made the best of it.
Starting point is 00:47:55 Do you ever have any nightmares of the accident or maybe even still do? Nightmares? No. No night. I've never had a... I've had using dreams where I use in my dream. And I wake up and I'm like, fuck, I relapsed. But it's just a dream. Why do you think you get those dreams? Man, I don't know. Dreams are so weird to me.
Starting point is 00:48:19 Sometimes they're so real and so raw. And you know, I smoked weed every day for 14 years. And when you smoke weed, it suppresses your dreams and you don't remember dreams. And I watched this sleep podcast. And what's cool about dreaming is your brain builds up a debt of all the dreams you've missed. So whenever you can finally dream again, it over floods your dream like receptors. So that's why you like people that smoke weed when they stop, that's why they have these crazy, because your brain's trying to make up for all the dreams.
Starting point is 00:48:52 that you missed. It's crazy. But no, I don't have any dreams about my accident or anything. When did you finally decide that you wanted to go get help? Man, I just, I was just so lost and broken and I had no money and I just, I wanted out, but I didn't know how. And like I said, I detox the first time in my bedroom and that was only after using for like four or five months. So this time I had been using for like two and a half years So I was like I need to go somewhere where I can be watched by professionals and hopefully get some like medicine to help And I talked to a couple people about treatment and they were like just make sure you have insurance when you go Make sure the place that you go to is like insurance required because you don't a lot of the ones that are just state funded are just they don't really treat you that well and it's more like a revolving door
Starting point is 00:49:46 So I got insurance on February 1st. and I was in rehab by February 7th. I'd called around to a bunch of places, and this one was like, can you come in today? And I was like, well, no, not today. Give me a couple days when we talked to my boss. And so I got in like two days later. I went to Riverwalk Ranch in Mansfield.
Starting point is 00:50:07 And did your insurance cover that? Yeah, so for the six weeks I was there, it cost $56,000. $56,000. For six weeks, and I have to pay $2,000. That's it? Okay. Shout out to my Riverwalk. That's crazy.
Starting point is 00:50:21 These places make a fortune. Yeah, and while I was there, there was this guy there and it was his 17th time there. So I wonder what his bill looks like. When you told your parents you were going to rehab, is that the first time they knew that you were struggling? My dad, yes. But my mom knew I was using. She didn't know what I was using or to the extent, but they were both very happy. for sure. Tell us about that six-week experience there. Yeah, so my mom picked me up that morning.
Starting point is 00:50:55 The last time I used was at 5 a.m., February 7th, 2024. And my mom picked me up, drove me about 20 minutes to Mansfield. And it's like a renovated mansion. It's like an old mansion that they renovated into a rehab. So I had a pool. It was on a ranch. So there was like animals there. Really nice place, man. Really nice place. I'm so blessed and grateful. that I got into that place. And everybody there was like, everybody there that had been to multiple rehab said that this was the best one.
Starting point is 00:51:25 So, and dude, I pay $25 a month for health insurance. So I don't know how the fuck I got into that nice place, but I'm so very grateful that I did. So my mom drops me off. You know, I'm crying. My dad has always been very emotional. So growing up,
Starting point is 00:51:44 my dad was like, it's okay to, you know, be emotional. So I was never one of those like, don't fucking cry. So, yeah, I was crying at the front door with my mom, and she dropped me off, and they take everything from you and search you. I didn't have my phone for six weeks.
Starting point is 00:52:00 I could use it like five minutes a week just to, like, pay bills and send people money for bills and stuff, but honestly it was kind of nice not having my phone because everybody's just, you know how it is. Everybody's glued to their phone. So when you don't have it, you're forced to make genuine connections with people,
Starting point is 00:52:17 and I love making connections with people. I love meeting new people. So that was cool. So yeah, she dropped me off and we did the little intake, and I knew it was coming, man. It's like a train you see in the distance. You're like, yeah, here it comes, because I knew withdrawals were going to be setting in soon.
Starting point is 00:52:38 So I think the first day I ended up, I caught me a little nappy nap, and then I started feeling, like shit and I don't know if you know what like Suboxin is in Subutac but it's it's like
Starting point is 00:52:55 it's called MAT it's maintenance and they give it to you it's like an opiate but there's no pain related to it anyways if if they give it to you too soon it can send you into precipitated
Starting point is 00:53:09 withdrawal which is worse than regular withdrawal because it knocks whatever few like that are on your receptor whatever few opiates are on it it knocks them off and it just sends you into like a worse withdrawal and they ended up giving it to me too soon
Starting point is 00:53:26 and it fucked me up dude I was just like laying in bed like sweating profusely but freezing I was throwing up and I had diarrhea like just all of it dude for like days and it was just horrible and I remember we had a
Starting point is 00:53:43 we had a fucking fire alarm dude like while I was withdrawing and the nurses came in and they're like, honey, we have to get you up. And I'm like, no, like I can't do anything. And they ended up getting like two or three nurses to like carry me outside. And it was a brutal dude. And so I saw the doctor and he gave me more Suboxin, which helped a little bit. And some people, you know, continue taking it for months or years after. It's called maintenance.
Starting point is 00:54:15 But I've heard horror stories about people trying to come off a suboxin, and it's not fun. And so I just decided to do a quick 12-day taper. So I got off of it. But, yeah, man, there's 44 people in the house. I think like 35 guys, 10 or 11 females. And you're just, you don't have, there's a, there's a one week blackout period when you get there. You don't have to do anything for the first five days, which if you're, you're coming in off of opiates, you really can't do anything for the first four or five days.
Starting point is 00:54:50 I didn't really eat or anything. I was just my friend I made in the... So when you first get there, you go into the, what they call it? It's like the initiation room, like where there's like six beds in there. And then once you're there, once you're there for like a week, then they'll move you to a different part of the house. but my friend I made in there would bring me power raid and stuff but yeah just I made friends and after I think like the fourth day there's three classes a day I just started going to class man because I put myself in there so I wanted to get as much out of it as I could and I was just really
Starting point is 00:55:31 tired of laying in that bed doing nothing so I started to go into class and just learning all I can making friends, you know, like, you get your own therapist, you get a case manager, you get a doctor, a psychiatrist, like everybody gets all of those. So they, they- Ready or not, summer is coming, and Wayfair's Memorial Day clearance is on now. Right now through May 25th, get up to 70% off everything home at Wayfair. Plus, score amazing doorbuster deals all sale long and surprise flash deals on Memorial Day. We're talking thousands of products at every style and budget. Now is the time to save big on must-habs for your patio, backyard, and beyond.
Starting point is 00:56:10 These savings won't last. So don't wait. Shop Wayfair's Memorial Day clearance now through May 25th. Wayfair, every style, every home. Really treat you like a human being, and they really take care of you there. Was there someone else's story in there that really inspired you and kind of helped you get through it? Yes. Yeah, there was a few people that I really, um, I agree.
Starting point is 00:56:34 close with for sure. But I just, I wanted, I wanted out of addiction so bad that I told myself, I was like, man, if I, if I get clean, like, I'm never, I'm never doing this again. I just, I wanted it so bad. Does being around people that are in the similar situation kind of make you feel that, you know, someone could always have it worse than you? Definitely. And I learned that while I was in there, actually.
Starting point is 00:57:02 I learned how good I had it growing up, man, because like almost everybody in there had a very, very rough childhood. Just dealing with, you know, paddock parents in addiction or abuse, sexual abuse, physical abuse. It was very humbling. Do you think it changed your perspective on life going forward after that? it definitely just gave me a sense of like gratitude yeah very grateful for the way I was raised and my parents and everybody once you left that program did you ever have that feeling of one to use again and the immediate days after when you actually have access to the free world no I was on this like pink cloud dude like I was high on life dude it was crazy and I rode that pink cloud for like a month and it It ended up going away, and I had this kind of like this little dip in everything. But I'm like, because like I said, you get a case manager, and your case manager takes care of everything that's going on in your life outside of treatment.
Starting point is 00:58:14 If you need a driver's license, if you need something with your PO, if you need court, if you need CPS, they take care of all that. And she was like, well, like, what are you doing? I was like, I just work at a smoke shop. And she was like, well, what do you want to do? I was like, I don't know. I love helping people. And she was like, well, why don't you go get your LCD, which is a licensed chemical dependency counselor and become a therapist?
Starting point is 00:58:37 She was like, it's a two-year degree. And I was like, that's what I've been waiting for this whole time. Like, that's it. So she got me enrolled into TCC, which is in Hearst, which is like right by my job. She got me enrolled. I got accepted. and now I'm going to school to be a therapist. And I'm going to work at the same exact rehab I went to.
Starting point is 00:58:58 Oh, they'll hire you into that rehab. Yeah. So the way I found my home group, which is another chance in Hearst, Texas. Shout out to another chance. Every Tuesday they would take us there at night. And that was how I found about Narcotics Anonymous. And so every Tuesday I saw the lady that would bring the client. And she asked me, she was like, hey, would you mind coming back out to the ranch and speaking to the clients?
Starting point is 00:59:29 And that was the first time I had ever shared my story. That was like three weeks ago. And I went out there and I spoke to the clients and I did really well. And she showed me my office. She was like, this is your office. This is where you're going to be. We're just waiting on you. How long have you been at school for now?
Starting point is 00:59:46 I just finished my first semester. So I have three more semesters. So that'll be sometime next year you'll finish or the year after 2020? At 2026. Okay. And can you start working there before you get the degree too or no? I can do my practicum there and my clinical hours and stuff, but I think I have to pretty much wait until almost the full two years to do what I want to do.
Starting point is 01:00:10 I mean, I could work there as an RC, like a recovery coach, but I'm probably just going to wait until I can just work there as a therapist. The people that are like your classmates and stuff, are any of them former addicts at all? Yeah, there's a, there was like two or three people that were in my class that go to my group. Yeah. Have you guys been able to like form like a friendship in a way? Yeah, of course. Yeah, of course.
Starting point is 01:00:36 Yeah, of course. That's awesome. Yeah, I love those types of like those recovery type work fields like in peer recovery where they have people with the actual lived experience like yourself, getting these types of jobs to help others. Yeah, there was only, out of all the therapists that were at the rehab I went to, only one of them wasn't an addict. That's awesome. And I think that means a lot. I think it comes, I think it very relatable. And I think it gets through to the clients more when you can say, I've been where you're at.
Starting point is 01:01:09 You know what I mean? Where do you think you've gotten that sense of wanting to help others from? Because you've had that ever since even before your accident? It's got to be from my parents, man. I never saw my parents fight. I never saw them cuss. I never saw violence. I just grew up in an extremely loving household.
Starting point is 01:01:27 I was raised on love. I'm very docile. Like, I've never even been in a fight before, you know. And I've always seen my dad help people all the time. Like, we'll pull over and help somebody jump their car. We'll give somebody a ride. Like, I've just, I've seen it. And that's got to be where it's from.
Starting point is 01:01:45 It's got to be. I've just always loved helping people. How do you get through the bad days? You know, because we all have bad days, even no matter how good we're doing, how do you get through those days of maybe, you know, feeling like there could be a relapse or anything like that, any type of struggle you deal with?
Starting point is 01:02:00 What's your coping mechanism? I pray. I pray to God to get me through it, and I wait it out. We do this thing called The Five Alive. You wake up, you get with your higher power. You talk to a recovering addict. You read some literature, whether that be out of the basic text,
Starting point is 01:02:16 which is Narcotics Anonymous. It's basically our Bible. I talk to another recovering addict. and go to a meeting and then thank your higher power at the end of the day. On my bad days, man, I just go to a meeting. I'm a very social person. I love being around people. So if I'm having a bad day, I'll go to someone's house or I'll go to a meeting
Starting point is 01:02:35 and just wait it out, man. Feelings are not facts. Like the way you feel will pass. So I just wait it out. Would you take back the accident if you could? Not now. But if you would have asked me before I went to treatment, I would have said yes.
Starting point is 01:02:52 Do you think that kind of aligns with figuring out what your purpose is in life? The accident? Just in general, like that feeling of that mental change in you, that you wouldn't take it back. Do you think that relates to directly to what you figured out you want to do with your life now? Yeah, of course, man. I would have never went back to school if I didn't go to that rehab. Like, they don't just get you clean. They help set you up whenever you leave that place.
Starting point is 01:03:17 And they are all tremendously proud of me, and I am forever grateful for everybody there. my therapist, all the employees, like, it was it was the best thing I could have ever done for myself because it has completely turned my life around. Like, I've been clean for 11 months now and the way that my life has changed, the things that God has done in my life ever since I started putting him first
Starting point is 01:03:39 has been nothing short of a miracle. Like, I should be dead, bro. Like, that motorcycle accident should have killed me. I did fentanyl for two and a half, like people dropping from flies from fentanyl, man. Man, like, the reason I'm still here is, like, I have a purpose. My purpose is to help people. My purpose is to save God's children from addiction.
Starting point is 01:04:02 There are so many people out there that are hurting, man. People's son, people's daughter, brother, sister. Addiction doesn't care who you are, what color you are. It will destroy your life. It will take everything from you. Addiction is giving up everything for one thing, and recovery is giving up one thing for everything. And I'm on a mission right now to help as many people as I possibly.
Starting point is 01:04:22 possibly can. Where do you see yourself in, say, five years? I'm going to be a therapist out at the ranch. Do you ever think you'll own your own practice? Are you entrepreneurial? That would be cool. I would like that. I'm definitely going to go, you know, get my feet wet at the ranch and kind of get my bases and kind of see how everything works and then maybe eventually branch out and maybe get with another therapist and go get a building together or something. Yeah. And even now, like with social media and everything, I could see you building something. because you have the story to kind of help bring you in clients. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:04:56 You know, there's so many listeners of this show or just in general that have, you know, overcame similar situations or want to do what you've been able to accomplish. That will probably prefer to go to someone like you who has that story and has been where they've been. Yeah. I'm very big on like being able to relate to people
Starting point is 01:05:17 and I'm very empathetic and I feel people's energy and I just, I know, I know in my heart that I can help people, and I already have been, but I can do it on a way bigger scale. Did you start to watch a show because of your addiction issues and struggles? The show? Yeah. I don't remember what, I can't remember, like, what brought me to it, honestly. I just saw it, and I started watching it.
Starting point is 01:05:45 I really liked it, and I love Brandon Novak, and I saw that episode. that was like one of my favorite episodes and the JD one and I just I just loved the show I love I love I love people that have faced adversity and Turned it in like turn their pain into purpose you know what I mean didn't let it stop them because that's what I've done What would you say is your biggest message you want people to take away from your story? Just never give up on yourself man like if if I can do what I've done with one arm like you can do it too and I hope to give people a little perspective because a lot of people may think that they have it bad, but in reality, like, you really have it good, man. Like, if you have a house over your, or roof over your head, food in your belly, clothes on your back,
Starting point is 01:06:33 like, you're doing a lot better than you think you are. Absolutely. Just never give up on yourself, man. There's so much to life. And I wasted, you know, a lot of years, like six years. I sat around and waited for something good to happen to me because I thought I deserved it because I'm a good person, but that's just not how life works. Like, God will present you opportunities, but you have to put in the footwork.
Starting point is 01:06:56 Like, I've done, you know, like, don't overcomplicate it because, you know, like, Narcotics Anonymous is a simple, you know, program. You work the steps and you get a sponsor, and, but I've put in the footwork, you know, like I'm working a 12-step program. I'm on my step 10. I have a sponsor. I started doing H&I, which is hospitals and institutes, and that's where we carry the message of Narcotics Anonymous into rehab facilities.
Starting point is 01:07:22 And, you know, I go, I chair meetings. I go speak and share my stories. So it's like I'm putting in the footwork and I am reaping the benefits, man. God has been blessing me beyond what I could even think is possible. And there's only more to come. Only more to come, man. Never know who you're going to meet, who will listen to say like an interview. Like this, right here.
Starting point is 01:07:43 This is solely a gift of sobriety. Like I wouldn't be here right now if I didn't go to that. You know what I mean? If you never had the accident to begin with. Exactly. Because that's set, you know, it really makes you think about things. Yeah. You know, and it could even go back further what kind of set you on that path too.
Starting point is 01:08:00 You just never know. It could go all the way to not getting that job at the fire department. Man. You know? Because imagine if you got the job, maybe you never would have been on the motorcycle. No, yeah, I wouldn't have. I'd be in Arkansas right now. It's crazy.
Starting point is 01:08:12 Do I think about that all the time? Like, yeah, it's crazy. Yeah. I think about everything from like the past, how literally one thing sets off. Yeah. Like, if I would have stopped to tie my shoe
Starting point is 01:08:23 on the way out of the gym that night, I would have never gotten the wreck. Yeah. It's just crazy. Like, everything happens for a reason, man. And it took me a long time to get through the mud, you know, no mud, no lotus. I've never heard that before.
Starting point is 01:08:38 That's a good one. Yeah. You got to get that in the wall. Lotus flower grows from mud. So you have to be drug through the mud, man. I went through a lot of depression, a lot of dark times, a lot of pain. And it's finally starting to, I'm finally starting to see why I had to go through all that.
Starting point is 01:08:59 I'm glad to hear that. Yeah. And I'm so happy for you that you know, that things are coming together for you and, you know, things are going well with school and that you have a vision and a career path and you know what you want to do. I just have purpose again, man. Like I'm actually excited about my future and I haven't been able to say that for. for a really long time. It's a really good feeling. And you give off that energy too. Like you, when you came in, I went to a fist pump you
Starting point is 01:09:25 and you're like, I'm a hugger. Yeah, bro. We give hugs, man. We need more of that in the world, you know? We give hugs, man. They don't really do that out here. Yeah, I see that. I see that. I'll always say that about like down south. Like the hospitality is just so much different. Everyone is. So much nicer. We could use a little bit more of that out here. Yeah. I just love prevails, man. Love conquers all. Yeah, we'll never lose that. you know? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:09:49 Were you like that before the accident? Oh, yeah. Okay. So I just always been instilled with you. Yeah, I've always been this goofy guy with a goofy smile and a lot of love. Well, I appreciate you coming out here to be on the show today, man. I hope you enjoyed New York City and you should go play Matt and ping pong so you could whip him, you know? For sure, dude, I will.
Starting point is 01:10:09 Has he challenged you yet? Did you tell him you play? Oh, hell. He's in for a treat then. Hell yeah. He loves playing all my guests in ping pong. Nice. I suck at it.
Starting point is 01:10:17 I'm not athletic at all. I'm good at it. Sounds good, brother. We'll take care. I really appreciate you having me on, and I really appreciate what you do, and I'm really blessed, and I'm really grateful for you having me on
Starting point is 01:10:31 and me being able to share my story. Of course, brother. That's what this platform's for, you know, for the stories like yours. Yeah.

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