Locked In with Ian Bick - The Party That Turned Violent & Changed My Life Forever | Kyle Conway

Episode Date: June 9, 2025

Kyle Conway talks about the night a party turned violent, how he got caught up in the chaos, and what happened next. #PartyGoneWrong #TrueCrime #LegalConsequences #Violence #LifeChangingEvents #CourtCase #JusticeSystem #secondchances Thank you to LUCY & SHADY RAYS for sponsoring today’s episode: Lucy: Let’s level up your nicotine routine with Lucy.  Go to HTTP://LUCY.CO/IANBICK and use promo code (IANBICK) to get 20% off your first order. Lucy has a 30-day refund policy if you change your mind.  Shady Rays: Get 35% off polarized glasses at shadyrays.com - code LOCKEDIN Connect with Kyle Cervini: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/devastatorbrand/ Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@devastatorbrand Website: Https://www.devastatorbrand.com Hosted, Executive Produced & Edited By Ian Bick: https://www.instagram.com/ian_bick/?hl=en https://ianbick.com/ Presented by Tyson 2.0 & Wooooo Energy: https://tyson20.com/ https://woooooenergy.com/ Buy Merch: https://convictclothing.net/collections/convict-clothing-x-ian-bick Timestamps: 00:00:00 Discovering Rochester's Famous Garbage Plate 00:04:42 Family Auto Shop Legacy 00:09:42 Following Dreams in the Music Industry 00:14:15 Shady Rays Sunglasses Special Offer 00:19:06 Evolution of Digital Photography and Storage 00:23:32 Upgrading Your Nicotine Routine with Lucy Breakers 00:28:15 Childhood Memories and the Joy of Learning 00:33:17 Confrontation Turns Violent 00:38:11 A Night of Chaos and Consequences 00:42:40 Unexpected Consequences of Legal Troubles 00:47:39 Legal Consequences and Restitution in an Assault Case 00:52:43 Journey from Drug Dealing to Sobriety 00:57:30 Overcoming Alcohol and Pill Addiction Struggles 01:02:19 The Dangers of Drug Use and Fentanyl 01:07:01 Finding Positivity Amidst Adversity 01:11:47 Influential Mentors and Personal Growth 01:15:38 Acknowledging Redemption and Farewells Powered by: Just Media House : https://www.justmediahouse.com/ Creative direction, design, assets, support by FWRD: https://www.fwrd.co Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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It's not, it's like a stone's throw away. And it's a nice, that's a nice part of town too. Yeah, we go like a couple times a year. I'll have to hit you up next time I'm out there. We'll grab some food. I can't really tell you any good places because everyone will tell you, like, get a garbage place. That's what I just found out about last year.

I didn't know what that is. It's, you know, it's burgers and, you know, some stuff. But that's what everyone tells you, but go to Country Suite. country sweet chicken that's that's where you should go wait can you walk into any restaurant order a garbage plate mainly they've all kind of jumped on the trend so you can like you can find one pretty much anywhere and it's all the same price depends depends where you are like i bet you're starting around 10 bucks and probably going upwards near 20 depending on the quality of the joint yeah someone DM me um and this girl i was talking to last year was like did you get a

garbage plate and i was like no i don't know what that is No, I'm going to be getting in trouble for saying this, but it's like if you don't have anything to do later, maybe, because you're probably going to be like, where's the bathroom? I'm serious. Like, it'll mess you. It's good. It's good. I'm going to get, they're going to hang me for this. So did you grow up in Rochester?

I did. I did. Born and raised in the city. And we moved when I was about 15. the neighborhood was getting crazy. It was crazy, but it was just like peak insanity at that time because now it's like even worse. I go there now and I'm like, this isn't my neighborhood.

So we moved when I was about 15, an hour west, to like the middle of nowhere. So and that's when I get into trouble. Who did you go up with? I grew up with my mother and stepmother, or my mother. I'm nervous. I'm sorry. I got to relax. You're doing great. I grew up with my mom and stepfather and my dad for a long time live right around the corner. My parents were always divorced ever since I can remember. So did you have a relationship with him at all? Your biological dad? Oh yeah. Yeah, definitely real good. We were all pretty tight. He kind of had the normal separated parents, you know, weekends, Wednesday, Thursday, visitation and stuff. And he literally lived like a street over for many years. years until we moved. And then he moved to a suburb of Rochester and we moved in our way. So it was like kind of got a little more difficult then. But I was in my teens and working.

So then I started working for him, you know, eventually. So then we got kind of caught up from, you know, years of kind of visitation kind of stuff and then worked together for a long time. Were you closer with your mom then? Did you spend more time with her? I did spend more time there. And as a as a, as a, kid. I kind of preferred it because my dad was like more of the authoritarian and I could kind of do whatever I wanted with my mom. And that was just because she was kind of busy and she was a lot more easy going. But she was real busy with, you know, she rescued animals my whole life. And the animal rescue scene in Rochester is busy. Like real busy. Really? Yeah. My house was like a zoo.

My second grade class, this is no joke, if anyone remembers this. We took a field. trip to my house that to see the animals and then everyone had to write like what was your favorite animal it was crazy so did that job pay the bills no non-profit yeah it was actually like a large expense so all the stuff that she did rescuing vet work and then adoption everything just kind of fed itself you know and she had to take care of all these animals nightly it was like a big deal. Like a hundred cats. Burmese Python. We had a monkey growing up until I was like 18, I think,

if it died. Was it big? No. You ever seen the movie Outbreak by any chance? It's a 90s movie, but that's the kind of monkey. It's called a Capuchin, or some people pronounce it differently, but it's small. It was crazy, too. His name was Chico. Yeah,

and he would like look at you, and he would like put his hand out because he had to be in like a large cage inside of another cage. and you would like go like this and then you and you'd grab you by the hand and try to pull you in and like bite you and he would throw piss at you and stuff yeah the only person you liked was my mother did your stepdad have a good job yeah well yeah he was a mechanic um and he was a printer for a long time and then he went and worked at um my aunt and uncle's auto shop they owned an auto shop on the other side of the city and uh he worked there until they just sold um after 60 years in business um

So. Hi, all, before we jump more into today's episode, I need your help. If you're watching on YouTube, make sure to like, comment, and subscribe. Let me know your thoughts in the comments. And great news, you can now comment on Spotify episodes too. So drop a comment and a review and let me know what you think of the episode. If you're listening on Apple Podcasts, a rating and review goes a long way in helping us grow. Also, quick shout out to Shady Rays.

They are giving out their best deal of the season. season exclusively for Locked in listeners. Head to Shadyrays.com and use code locked in to get 35% off polarized sunglasses. We will talk more about them later in the episode. Hope you enjoy. Now, what about your siblings? I have one half-sister, and that was it. Just her and I.

She's about 10 years younger than me, Emma. So you guys probably weren't close? We, we, no, we weren't close. We're way closer now, you know, as the age means less. unless, you know, she's, uh, she just turned 30. So I was, she was always like a pain in the ass. Wow, you're 40 now? I yeah. Bro, you look great for 40. Holy shit. I'm 39. I'm 30. Dude, you look good for 30. Well, thank you. I was worried too. Yeah, it's like me, bro. I can't really grow facial hairs. Oh, I can't at all. You have that same problem? Yeah, I could grow like,

what you have now. Oh, dude. I can't get on the sides. I grew it out for like months. And I was like, this is ridiculous. Everyone was laughing at me over Christmas. They're like, what are you doing? They're like, this just looks bad. I said, I know. I've learned later in life it's a good trait to have in prison. It wasn't. But now it's a good trade to have. I would have struggled. I would have like, ugh. Dude, it works for me because people think I'm a lot younger than me. Yeah, youth is the thing, man. I hate getting carded in every bar that I don't know the people out. See, I like it. When I get carded, I'm like, thank you. I'm flattered. Yeah, but I got a bird by ID and if I don't have it on me, I don't know, it's just frustrated.

Yeah, believe me, when you're actually trying to do something. something, it's frustrating. But I'm like, yeah, hey, oh, spray paint. Yeah, here's my ID. Thank you. How would people describe you as a kid? I was kind, friendly. People who knew me closer would say I was kind of, I was kind of nutty. I was kind of crazy. I did a lot of stupid things. I tried to be a kind person. My mother really instilled like, you know, with the animals and stuff to be kind of a kind person. So that really rubbed off on me a lot. Did people make fun of you for the animals?

Yes. People who knew. People who didn't, I just got made fun of because I was just a white kid in the hood. So like I even kind of make a joke these days. Like I understand racism. Believe me, you know, like I experience, you know, because normally people don't say that. But it was difficult in the hood being a little. And I'm not much bigger than I was.

I was much, actually, I was much smaller. So I got, I did get picked on a lot, which kind of made, put me in situations where I had to, you know, had to make it. I had to, I had to survive. But, uh, I remember one time with the animals, I had to, all my friends have, like, lived with us at one point or another. I got like three core friends from childhood that are still around. And they've all lived with me. and the one kid was living with me, and we were outside of my house. And another kid from another neighborhood was coming by.

They knew each other. And he said, that house right there, he goes, they do animal experiments in there. And the kid that I was with, he, like, started laughing. And we kind of knew, like, he goes, they don't do animal experiments in there. But so that was, like, the rumor of the neighborhood is the animal experiment place. But people would, like, throw dogs over our fence, throw boxes of kittens. it was crazy we had an 18 foot Burmese python was it a big property of a big house no no it was a city house just a small like the whole basement was full of cats and individual cages litter boxes all individual my mother would be down there every night cleaning changing feeding you know taking animals every day to vet appointments and stuff it was like different there was it was iguanas and birds and a monkey um at one point we had 18 dogs in the house it was like it was it was a lot did you have plans for your future say when you were in high school were

you thinking about that yeah um i i i thought like everyone my age i thought i was going to be a a rap star i did and and so so i didn't care about anything you know like i i could care less like i was going to make it and it didn't matter so i put a lot of time and effort into that um Other people were pushing me to go in like the tech direction because I had a run with early on computing and stuff. And so that's where I should have gone. And like the little college that I dabbled around in was in programming and stuff. But no, I thought I, in the end, I just thought I was going to wrap and make a million dollars and sit in my rolls, rice and laugh at everyone. It didn't go that way, did it?

No, it didn't pan out at all. See, what I figured out eventually was, you know, you can make the music, but you got to do something with it. I'm like, yeah, I'm just waiting for the phone the ring. I used to get drunk and call Rough Rider's office. Like, just like there was like a woman on the answering machine. And I was like, oh, listen, you got to listen. You guys need a white boy. And it's going to be me.

I just thought, you know, someone's going to call DMX is going to call me back one of these days. Hey, at least you got dreams, man. I did. Oh, it was big. It was like, that's what I thought. like dedicated my whole life to that and it was just you know what it is you know it's not what everyone thinks it is and that's what i've learned going on is that like it's it's not so you can have talent talent's fine whatever but it's definitely about the image it's about the whole thing it's

about the social which wasn't really social media wasn't really it's like you had a my space maybe you know yeah it's all optics in this entertainment business right in any type of entertainment exactly I saw an interview with some lady and she's like, oh, talent's got nothing to do with it. She's like, are you marketable? You know, is what you're doing marketable? If it's not, then you're not for us, you know? And so I guess that's what it, we had the drive. I would like to think we had the talent, but it never really panned out.

Did you end up graduating high school? I did. I graduated high school. I did, and I did one semester at college and that failed miserably. Oh, it was so bad. Like math was never my thing. and I took the, you know, the exam to where they're going to place you. And it was general studies which could lead in a, I can't remember with the computer.

It was some sort of coding class or pipeline. And I scored so bad on the math. They started me in remedial math class. And the first class of remedial math was recognizing whole numbers. So like one, two, three, these are whole numbers. And I was like, damn. I really did bad on that one. And you needed like a trig class to do coding and all this stuff.

And I was just like, there's no way I could do this. So I didn't really go any further than that. And then into the workforce. What was your first big boy job? The real actual job was a pizzeria when I was 18, my uncle's pizzeria. And that was just a lot of fun. Did you actually make the pizzas? Yeah, made pizzas, wings, all that stuff.

I feel like that's such a good trait to had. I learned how to make pizzas. And that gets you into a lot of doors because it's a, limited talent. Right. Not everyone could do like you got to know and we were and we kind of had like a specialty. I know you guys out here have kind of had like large pizzas kind of from New York cities like big you know but we had like the biggest slices in Rochester. So it was like a big deal when we were open at 2 o'clock in the morning. So like it was like a big place to go. Midnight line would be out the door for big slices. So that was cool. Where would you say your life

first started to take a negative turn? Oh definitely when I was like, Like 12, when I started with computers, that's when I kind of got into, like, criminal activity. I was do little dumb shit in the streets and stuff. But it was doing computer crime was where I was like, and there was never any consequence. So I was like, oh, this is like, this is not really illegal what we're doing here. But I started doing computer crime when I was like 12 or 13 years old. Thanks to Shady Ray's for supporting Locked in. If you're looking for sunglasses that are stylish, durable, and built for every adventure, Shady

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Like what excited you about that? Well, the AOL scene. I remember the AIM. Mine was Dirtbiker for Life 95. Was it? Dirtbite. My first ever screen name was KZKHS 97. And I don't know why I remember that.

But then that was like the free trial that you get on AOL. And shortly after that, like the free trial ended and I never paid. My parents never paid for it again. but I had AOL from 98 until 2006 by, you know, nefarious means with accounts and stuff. And that was like, it was like a big deal. And so I did that like kind of the whole time until I got into like real actual trouble, the paperwork trouble. And that that's kind of, but it was, it was a mix.

It was there was a lot of programming, coding, HTML, websites, visual basics, C, Delphi. like the old stuff that's like antiquated now. But that's where I kind of got started. And then that turned into identity theft and, you know, like... At 12 or was that later on? That was probably started 12, 13, 14. How would you steal someone's identity? Well, the easiest way would be we would take code, like rip code right from AOL's web pages.

so you can get like kind of the outlook or you know the way the site would look and you would make a burner page on like angel fire or geocities i don't know if you remember those there was just like a free thing where you could host your own site and so you'd get one of those then you'd get a redirect to like cjb.net and you'd make like aOL password update.cb.net and it would be like a duplicate aOL site and when they would say we just need your old credit card information and an updated backup. And you would spam that all night and wake up, and your email would just be full of people's cards.

How do you get people's email to send that to? You would go to a, well, your screen name was your email address. So what was yours? Dirkbiker for Life 95. And at aOL.com. So if you were in a chat room, you would have a program that would go and collect chat rooms. And all it would do is go in the chat room,

collect every name in there, leave, go in the chat room, collect. So you'd have a thousand screen names. and then spam those all night. And back there, spam websites didn't look like spam. Like now you can easily kind of, everything looks similar. Yes, and just that method and everything wasn't really like, it wasn't popular.

You know, like the new scammers were calling it. Like I get 50 scam calls a day because I ask for hand jobs and shit all the time. It's real bad. But they would have loved to have that kind of, you know, thing back then because it was just like, it was serious, man. And it didn't mean anything when I was a kid. I was just like, whatever. That's like the only crime I really feel bad about. So what would you do with their identity then?

We would actually trade those like currency. So I would have a file of a thousand people's information and just trade it with other people for three-letter screen names or, you know, all lowercase screen names that were cool. We'd call them Leets. So like if you would get Ian Bick, it would just Ian Bick, and you would try to get names like that or G unit. I remember everyone was trying to get for a long time. And the shorter they got was like even like three letters. Then eventually people had two character screen names. It was cool. But how does that translate into money or it doesn't at that point? That part really doesn't.

So you weren't looking to make money. No, no. But we would buy, we would card stuff. Like I had a digital camera, which was crazy at the time because there was no like preview screen or anything, but it took like 350 pictures and you just plug it in your computer. And it was like, look at this. I can take as many pictures as I want. You know, they were terrible.

It looked like Roblox, you know. But it was like, it was cool to have. Yeah, I was going through my old digital camera from like eighth or ninth or tenth grade. What? Yeah. And we just took all the sleepovers and stuff. We just took all these photos. This was before there was phones.

Quality was crazy too, right? The iPhone just came out, but no one really had it, you know? Yeah. Oh, yeah, for sure. This was like the infancy of digital photography. And the cloud and all of that. Oh, shit. Cloud wasn't even like...

Because every time you switched from a new phone, you would have to download those photos manually. And it was always a big ordeal. I never did that. I just reset every time. Just reset and it was that, right? And now I have like 20,000 photos out by phone. Oh, yeah.

I actually was just pulling videos for my cloud last night. And it was like 18,000 pieces of media. I was like, oh my God. It's crazy how it adds up. It does add up. And that was like my first good computer. had a 6 gigabyte hard drive. Like, what is that?

I just downloaded a video that I was editing that was 6 gigs. Like, that would have took up my entire computer. Yeah. But so, no, that never really translated to money. You could. There was a lot of people that made a lot of money as kids doing that. But we would just buy dumb shit. We had CDs and concert tickets because they would, at the time, I think it was Ticketmaster.

They would email. they would mail the tickets like in an envelope to your house. So we would just have them deliver to an abandoned house on the street just in the mailbox and concert tickets and you could sell those and stuff. But no, I was more interested in like the screen names and stuff. And, you know, people at school would be like, oh, can you card me this website or that website? I'll say, you do whatever you want. Here's 15 cards. So that was like where I got.

And the people who I was with eventually, they ended up like the whole pair's. Hilton thing, they were like involved. That was like a direct connection to myself and people that I was with. So that was like a big deal. That was like FBI Secret Service shit. Did they come see you? No. I got, I, I had my case like at the time.

So when I started seeing all that happen, I was like, I got to get out of here. So I kind of stopped dealing with. And by the time I came back, the people were in prison. Like the one, the one dude's pretty famous. now Camo, he was like, he was like a genius, a whiz kid. Like I remember he was 14 years old. People were afraid of him. Like adults were like afraid.

But he was like the man and he kind of had a lot to do with that. I think he ended up doing fed time multiple times for computer related stuff. So I got, so I was in like all this crazy shit. And so I got out of that once I got like a serious case outside of there. I was like, I can't fuck around. When you first started doing this, would you have considered yourself a criminal? No, I didn't think so. And my parents, they got, like, they got me like a kind of, we had like a cheap computer at the house.

And they're like, oh, he loves the computer. He's, I think, so they bought me. They spent like $2,000 is a big deal on this six gigabyte. The gaming one. No, I don't know. I wish it was, it was just like a fucking basic ass computer, but it was. Oh, yeah, computers were expensive back then. Yeah, exactly.

They were like flat screens. The price go, most things don't go. down in price flat screens and computers go down. Oh yeah you can get a desktop for 200 bucks to yeah that was like oh yeah oh no two thousand bucks got you six gigabytes in a in a CD writer you know and it was like we got write CDs now it was a big deal now so they were like get them off the streets I was selling weed a little bit the guy who was uh who we were selling for came to a house looking for money one day and they were like what the fuck so let's get him off the street and and they're like look he loves it and it was the computer

was downstairs in the middle of room. And everyone was just like, he's just on the computer all the time. And it was all bad. Yeah, it was real bad. Yeah, computers have really progressed. I'm a big Lord of the Rings fan. I was trying to play the old game and it doesn't even work on the new computers. Yeah, because it's the outdated processor.

No, no, no, sir. So my brother found one, like, black sites or whatever online where you can download the game and it runs it or whatever. Right, right. So it worked out. But I spent 150 bucks on the CD from Amazon. I'm like, oh, shit. We have to make this work. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. So that was like, but no, I would have not considered myself a criminal then. It was just those computers. It was nothing. It was numbers on a notepad, you know, on a Microsoft document. It didn't seem like crime to me. Let's be real. If you use nicotine, why settle for something outdated? It's time to upgrade your routine with Lucy breakers, 100% pure nicotine, completely tobacco-free and designed to fit your lifestyle. What makes Lucy different? Each pouch comes with a flavor capsule. Just pop it open when you're ready for a burst of extra flavor and hydration.

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That kind of stopped when I got my bad case. When we moved out of the city, and that's when I got in like the most trouble I ever got in my entire life. How old were you? Was this before college? Yes. Yeah, I was 16. And we moved and I was like, I was an angry person

after we moved. I didn't understand. You know, I didn't understand that moving out of the city was like the best thing that could have happened, especially the way the neighborhood and just everything went. Like, they could see before I could that this was not good. So they bought a house literally in the middle of nowhere. And I'm used to being like urban environment. There's a corner store here. There's a corner store there. I know everybody. The neighborhood is crazy. to where a farmhouse on 16 acres and there's just nothing around. Town is an hour and a half walk in one direction,

you know, like to go to Jubilee, a little grocery store that like, you know, it was like in the middle of nowhere. So I was like very mad. I was like an angry person over that. And I think it kind of like made me like aggressive because I started the school out there. And at the third week,

week they gave me in school suspension which i didn't know what that was i was getting in all these like altercation i never got an actual fight there but it was like all these almost fights and they were like oh you want to be a you want to be a fighter huh big tough guy huh they were like i ss suspended five days i was like yes i was like i s on my birthday i was like that's gonna be or uh suspension on my birthday that's going to be great because i thought i had to week off and they're like all right well the bus picks you up on monday and And you go to this other school. Oh, it was a separate school for the ISS.

We just had a room like the size of this and all facing a wall. Yeah. And the teachers would always forget to give you work. So you're just sitting there doing nothing. Oh, I learned fast. So it kind of ties in later where I ended up going to school after they asked me to leave this public school was the old high school in the district that a church had bought. And they opened up a Christian school in there. So I would see these other kids like going through the hall while I'm at this.

newly found ISS and I'm like watching everybody like, hmm, look at them. They're all wearing uniforms and stuff. Like that's weird. And I'm in here with all these maniacs, which was terrible. And a guy that he was a nice dude too. I wish I could remember his name. He took me outside. He's like probably the third day in. He's like, why are you here? He's like, you seem like a normal dude. He's like, you see what's going on in there. These guys are nuts. I said, I don't know. I'm just not getting along out here, you know? And so I came back. I was there for like two more days after ISS, the worst week of my life. Not really, but it was, it sucked.

And then, and they were like, you can't, you can't come here anymore. Like, you're a problem. You've been down here multiple times daily for the first three weeks of school. They said, you got to find somewhere else for this kid to go. So my mother found out about this Christian school. And I think I remember here, you said you went to a really small school. A Montessori school. It was like, they said like 30 kids in one room.

Even less. It was like 12, 15 kids, but 4th through 8th grade. Mine was K through 12, 30 kids, maybe 40 at the max. We were all in one room and it was like one or two other rooms that we could leave. So I understand that. Very, very small. And I ended up going there. It was like the best thing ever.

It really was. It was awesome people. They were like, no, come on. Let's learn about this. And that's where I learned about a lot of religion. And I still totally. fucked up but but so tell us what happens what gets you into trouble so um a friend i met a friend through another friend um a friend that i grew up with from fifth grade he went to a foster home

the foster home was was these great people um in the town of brockport and they're awesome just a beautiful family and they had a bunch of kids of their own and they had other kids they would taken, you know, kids from the city and you do a foster program. So my friend that I grew up with introduced me to one of their kids. His name was AJ. Him and I hit it off like all we did was spend time together. We were, we were like inseparable. And he would, he was driving at the time I wasn't.

And he would drive out. It was about a 40-minute drive from his house to our house. So he was like my saving grace, someone I could hang out with. and you would come pick me up and we would go do stuff. And we were just like best friends and he died. And our last interaction together was just wasn't good. You know, I don't, I feel kind of, our last interaction ended up with me saying

that I couldn't be friends with him anymore. And I didn't mean that, but I just wanted him to think that what we were, he was kind of involved in, that it would make him lose. something and um and i didn't mean that and uh and he would call me collect because it was technically long distance and like not a lot of people had like free long distance so that night when he left and i said i can't i can't i can't be friends with you anymore he called me from a mutual friend of

our house and i can still hear the collect calls kyle call ed's and i remember saying i'll call tomorrow and he died and it like broke my heart i'm still like heartbroken over them and um and i had never experienced that before my you know my my great great grandmother died at one point um but never anyone like that and it was like my whole world fell out from under me and um so funeral you know all that and i'm like completely heartbroken and a week later his brother who is i'm close closer to an age. He said, we're doing a remembrance party for AJ. And, you know, I want you to go. I think it would be a good time for you to go to. So we hooked up and went and it was like out in the middle of, they called it the sand pits. But he was like driving through the woods. They like

pulled into an Aldi's parking lot and then like drove off of the parking lot and then drove into these woods. And then it was a clearing and it was like a massive bonfire set up. And I got there early. It was like 2 o'clock in the afternoon. That shit went crazy. I didn't have them boys knew how to party. So I'm wasted. I was like drinking heavily. And people started fighting. They were like, and I'm like, this is not what this is for. So I was like trying to break up fights and stuff. And because I was there because I was hurt. And you know, this is supposed to be a good thing. There's hundreds of people there. They're driving in kegs on four wheel. and shit. I had never, never seen anything like this. I was like, wow, huge fire. And I had a rap battle.

Like, they were like, this guy wraps. And they were like, you guys should battle. So I like killed this dude. It was a, it was good. And if you're, in all the paperwork out there, it's like, Kyle was great. And, uh, not literally. No, no, no, no, no. No, not him. And it was, uh, so I was like the man. And then everyone's like, that's AJ's best friend right there. He's, you know, so I was like, I was feeling cool at this party. So I was like trying to be this mediator. Oh, no, come on. You know, let's not fight. That's not.

And now it's real late. And someone was fighting or starting. And I pointed at this dude. And he, all I could see was like a white shirt. You know, it's like, I couldn't even tell you midnight, maybe. And I just pointed out, like, what I could see was like a light colored shirt. I was like, is it him? Is it him that's fighting?

And this dude didn't like that. He like didn't like that. I pointed at him. He started going crazy. And he's like, next thing you know, I'm pointing at someone. Then he's screaming in my face. He's like, going nuts.

And then he said, you know what? And he spits right in my face. And now there's a crowd. And I'm like, all these people just thought I was so cool. And now this dude just spit right in my face. And I remember I wipe my face. face off. I said, if you fucking spit in my face again, and he said, you spit in my face again, and I wiped it off again, and the crowd's getting bigger. And I, fuck, now this is where I was,

I messed up. And I used to tell different versions of the story to make myself not look as bad. And I was always worried about repercussions. But this is kind of, I told this on my show, too, but this is so I pulled the box cutter utility knife out of my pocket and I put it on the side of his head and he couldn't even see it because he was so close to me I said if you fucking spit in my face one more time and he spit directly in my open mouth

and all I could taste was beer and I just I lit him up I cut him right across his face and then he grabbed his face and went back and nobody knew what happened I think a lot of people thought I slapped him and then once it became a parent that that's not what happened then other people started I just got my ass beat people just started coming in so I just started trying to cut everybody

and so this is kind of it sounds terrible right that's what I used to say like he punched me and he did spit on me multiple times and in my mouth which is like probably as disrespectful as you can get kind of, but that I fucked up. And I remember this. So this is where it's kind of a weird story. It was like weird how things happened. The second person who got cut in the face, he, his cut, like went here and then stopped here and then started back up.

And where it stopped was his jugular vein. And the third person that got cut was this He didn't have anything to do with it He wasn't trying to hurt me He was trying to help me So sorry to you man I always wanted to say I was sorry My lawyer said I couldn't

I cut him down his fingers down his hand But his hand was wrapped up there Sorry his hand was wrapped around this dude's neck Trying to pull him off of me And so the razor came down His face and over his fingers So if he wasn't trying to help me I probably would have killed

the guy who got it, the second person who got cut. So I get stomped out. They like stop me relentlessly. And I understand now, you know, I was like a, I was an unknown there, you know, like I didn't know anybody but AJ's brother and his friend Ryan. Like, it's all the people I knew there. And so they, they stomped a piss out of me. And I kept trying to get up and leave and they're chasing me further and further in the woods.

And I finally like got away and I crawled. to this pricker bush like i was i lost my shoe and shit and i was like all right i got to think if it's difficult for me to get in here it'll be difficult for people to get in here so at least i'll be able to like maybe have time to get out of the back of this bush or wherever i was climbing it was pitch black now i'm in the woods and uh i threw up all over myself and then uh i've kind of fell asleep i think for like a half an hour an hour and then i woke up i couldn't hear anything else i was like i got to get out of here i got to find out where i am i'm all beat up i got nothing in my pockets.

I got slammed on my head. I'm walking. I hear these people talking. I'm like in the side somewhere. You're like, who are you? And no one knows who everyone's scattered. I ruined the party like 100%. It was a bad thing.

And this guy's like, who is that? And I'm like, who are you? I'm scared. I'm not trying to have part two happen. I don't now, again, my sissy ass doesn't have a knife anymore. And I'm like, oh, so he goes, whatever, just let him go. And I seen the guy had this cup that was like a boob.

And I go, is that titty cup? And he's like, yeah. He was pouring people liquor shots out of this cup that looked like a boob all night. This kid Scott. And I go, I remember you. And he's like, oh, come on. He's like, what the hell happened? I was like, I don't know what happened.

I was like, people said I did something that I didn't. I was like, I got to get out of here. I got beat up. So they get me out to the parking lot. I get picked up. Like I'm trying to call people. I don't know who to call. I didn't know this at the time.

I'm covered in blood. It was like it looked ridiculous. It was blood everywhere. So this dude says, I'll give you a ride as long as you weren't the one who did it. And I was like, oh, I didn't do anything. I was like, I didn't do anything. Give me a ride. And he's like, yeah, ride up front.

And I'm like, no, let me ride in the back. I was like, I'm hurt. I need to lay down. I end up getting blood all over his car. He tried to sue me later. I swear, man. They said, you let him in your car. That's your own bad.

This is kind of funny. So he drops me off of these apartments where I started the night at the apartments in Brockport. I meet up. There's Jake. There's AJ's brother. He's like, what is going on walking through the parking lot? I go, dude, I don't know. Where's my other shoe?

He's like, what are you talking about? He's like, I said, these are Pauli. shoes. I was like, I lost one of them. Because they were like size 10 and a half or something. They didn't fit me. I just needed something to wear. He's like, you don't, I don't think you know what's going on, man. He was like, next thing you know, sheriff comes pulling in the parking lot. Jake's gone. I'm like, where'd Jake go?

Sheriff pulls by. I didn't even really know how bad I looked, but they pulled by, looked right at me, and just kept driving. I go up to this apartment. This dude Ed, he was at the party. He wasn't supposed to be. he's the one in the paperwork that said, I don't know nothing. And I always said, be like Ed,

all of his statements or whatever. He said, I don't know nothing. There was a fight I got out of there. He said, I said, dude, I think I'm going to jail. He said, oh, you're fucking definitely going to jail. I was like, I need to use your bathroom. And I'm looking at myself in the mirror. And I go, yeah, maybe I did mess up.

I called my mom. I said, ma, I think I messed up. She goes, the police are already here. And that's 40 minutes west. She goes, a whole convoy, a police pulled in. I said, well, I'm here. They sent a friend of theirs. This guy Gary, he died last year.

I miss him a lot. He came out to pick me up, and I watch him. He pulls up at the apartment complex. He gets out. He's got a gun behind his back. He thought he was out on like a secret agent mission and shit. It was awesome. I get out to the car.

He's like, put these clothes on, sweatpants, a shirt. He takes all my clothes, bags them all up, puts him in a trunk. and then we leave. I turned myself in. I had to go to the hospital the next day and the detectives were at the hospital. And then that's when it was like, that's when now in my mission in life,

I try to explain to people about their basic rights, which I had no idea of. And I think these detectives were scumbags because I was 16 years old and they were like, you know, they want a confession out of you. So I'm in the hospital and they're like trying to get this confession out of me.

And I'm like, I didn't do it. I just, I thought maybe if I just lied enough that all this would go away. Like I thought the whole time I didn't think anything was going to happen. I stabbed these people. I thought, and I thought I was just going to be nothing. Like I would go home and be like, damn, that was a crazy night. I didn't realize how bad I really messed up. So as soon as they discharged me at the hospital, it was like immediately discharged.

They were like, all right, well, you're under arrest, you know, for two first degree assault and one second degree assault. I'm like, okay. And I didn't really know. Like, I have no idea what's going on next. You know, this is a first for me. And he's like, well, we can do this the easy way or hard way. Kola, he's a cock. And he said, I said, well, what's, what's the easy way?

He's like, we cuff you in the front. We walk out of here like gentlemen. And I was like, well, what's the hard way? He's like, I break your arm. We stay here a little longer. And then I cuff you and then we get out here. And I'm like, all right, well, we'll just do the easy way. Then they take me to get food.

They uncuff me. We go on, it's in the thing, which is crazy. They take me to a deli and get me a sub, right? I'm under arrest with two major crimes detectives, and I'm ordering a sub. And they were right. They wrote it all down and shit. I don't know what that had anything to do with anything. What do you think they were trying to butter you up or something?

I think so. And don't that you need a parent with you? Right. You would think so. I thought so. I didn't. That's why. And there's like all kinds of stuff in there.

Like I didn't even realize like they were standing around in the hallway at one point, just listening, writing down what I was talking with people about. And I didn't realize like obviously I know better now that everything you say can and will be used against you. Apparently that was everything. And they were constantly writing notes and wrote down like he got a ham sub with with cheese and lettuce. and he got a Pepsi and all this shit. Yeah.

No parents, nothing. Take me down to a substation. I got cuffed to an eye hook in like this cell. And I think they just wanted me to like, this is what it's going to be like. And it closed me in a cell. And I was like, fuck, this is beat. And so we're going back and forth. And I thought maybe if I just lie, if I just tell him so many different lies, like even at one point I said, like I had a flaming bush, like a flaming thing I was swinging.

around from out of the fire. Totally ridiculous. Not what happened at all. I was like, I'm just going to have this thing. Maybe if I lie enough, they won't be able to get to the bottom of it. You know, I was like, no, that's exactly not what happened. And he's like, can we do a written statement from you? And I was like, okay.

So he gets all the stuff together to do the written statement. And he pulls out the two finger guns, starts typing like this. And I'm like, oh, we're going to be here at long time. time and I said, how about I just type it? I said, I'll type my statement. I'll type everything that happened. He said, no, I can't let you do that. And I said, then I think I needed an attorney. He's like, does that mean you don't want to talk about this anymore? I said, yeah, yeah. And then, so that's where the paperwork ended. I had to get a, you know, who is the best lawyer in Rochester now? he was the man got a lawyer he kicked back several plea offers and I ended up pleading to two second degree assaults with the hell was it five years probation restitution rehab as a sentence and the offers before that I feel like I should have just went with like the one year because like probation.

made me a junkie. Like probation kicked off my drug and alcohol abuse. Because I smoked a lot of pot and drank a little bit here and there, kids shit, you know. And once I got on probation, intensive supervision felony probation, I was like, well, I got to get high somehow. How am I going to live without figuring, you know, how to get high? So I asked the rehab. I was like, well, can you show me my test results? said my dad doesn't believe me that I'm off drugs.

He said, oh yeah, you're, you know, all my tests are good. So I had to sign this paper and shit. And they gave me a whole list of everything they tested for. And I was like, oh, they don't test for pills. They don't test for all. I was like, oh, yeah, I could definitely get Vicodin. I could get all. So that's where that started.

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When Bose sound fills the room, you don't just hear the music. You feel it. Your life deserves music. Your music deserves Bose. Find your perfect product at Bose.com. So then pill problems. Why didn't you get expelled from your high school for that? Right.

Because most people I talk to, if you have outside conduct like that, you'd be expelled. Right. And they knew all about it. they were actually the judge said to my lawyer that the only reason he didn't send me to do you know whatever whatever they saw fit was because of the letters from my teachers at school and all they did was um because it happened at the end of may like the last day of may so there was what is there a couple weeks left in june for school they gave me a packet to take home to finish out you know finish out the year because there were death threats and people.

they said they were going to kill me. And so they were worried about death threats coming to the school. And so I finished out school at home for the last two weeks and then started my senior years the following school year. How did people react to you when you started the new school? Oh, the next year. Everyone acted like nothing to happen. It was like.

So that summer actually helped you. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Everyone, and everyone was cool. Like they were my that school was like they really care about kids and everyone there really cared about what happened and they liked me and and and I and I liked them and um so they were like they accepted me back with open arms and we're just like and and you know in in in Christianity like self defense and and that's kind of where I was wrong where I was trying to play the self defense thing and the judicial just the same. judicial system was like, no, this is not self-defense. Even when I was lying and saying like, oh, they hit me, they jumped me.

I did this to get out of it. My lawyer said, oh, no, we're not doing self-defense on you. You don't want to take this to trial. He said, I've seen the pictures. You're not taking this to trial. But where I was going with that is, you know, just defending the fort is like, you know, in Christian religion is like a thing, you know, like you can defend yourself and in your family if you have to.

So the story that I was kind of. going with kind of fell in line with I was defending myself when I was kind of a shame that I just wanted to be a gangster I think what happened to the kids that you cut the the one who got the who got at the worst he um he ended up suing me and won and the the one who got at the second worst the other guy who got cut in the face he didn't have insurance so he was the restitution and I think the last kid didn't press charges or he didn't pursue me civilly but the charges were taken by the state

so they charged me because that's why I was two first degree and then the second degree assault was for his hand I don't think he pressed but I'm not sure it's all in the shit I can't remember if he did or not I know he was on my side did their families want you to go to jail?

Oh yeah but I think they also wanted to cash grab and they didn't think I would be any good as a cash grab doing 10 years. Have you paid off their restitution? Yeah, it was like $1,500 or $2,000. Oh, that's it? Yeah, something like that. But then he sued me and won for $185,000.

So what happens to that money? It just lapsed. Oh, it's all done now? It's done. It lapsed. It was nine years. Then they had to re-up it after nine years, and he never re-upped it. And it's kind of hard to get blood from a stone.

Yeah. And at the time, I didn't have any. I had like a regular job, a factory job and shit. But yeah, it was definitely difficult to, there was like nothing to have. They tried to sue my parents, homeowners insurance. Homeowner insurance says, well, he doesn't live with his father. So you can't sue them. They said, no, he doesn't.

That's not his residence. My stepfather owned the house that I lived in, but I'm not. I'm not adopted by him. So his homeowner's insurance said, you know, wherever. They tried to sue the beverage place that had the kegs came from. And they're like, we don't have any record of this kid buying a keg here because I didn't. And they're like, stick it up your ass. So they just sued me.

And I went to a lawyer's meeting. My criminal defense attorney sent me to a civil attorney. And he was cool. He said, this is the best piece of $75 advice that you're ever. going to get. He's like, don't show up. Don't go to, don't go to court. That sounds counterintuitive to what I'm doing here. He's like, you're going to lose. You pled guilty. You already said you did this. You're going to lose. He said, I could take you for 10,000. We could go to every single one of these. He said, you're going to lose because you already pled guilty. He said, just don't go.

See what happens. And that was, that was it. And then a kid, he died like 10 years ago. unrelated, but. Now, is this off your record now because it happened as a juvenile? To a certain extent, because the Marine Corps was like, oh, because I tried to be a Marine when my life was like in the shitter, I was like, maybe that's what I need. You know, a good friend of mine was a Marsac guy, and he was like, you need to come. This is where you need to be. I was like, yeah, they need like people who are like hardcore.

And I thought, and they were like, oh, they pulled up everything. You're like, no, no, sir. So I don't know. I mean, I've never had an issue. I've never run into anything that it stopped me from doing aside from the Marine Corps. But, no, it didn't really affect me too much. So I'm not sure. I mean, it's in there somewhere.

They found it. They pulled it up. But as far as, like, I don't know. That's a good question. Before this happened, would you have considered yourself a violence? person um yeah kind of not not like violent like i know i know violent people who would fight a lot and since i was kind of the small one of our group i always felt like well i ended up always fighting whether win or lose it was like for somehow or another i always was the one that ended up fighting

and then we all would fight after but i was always like the the person in the middle of it um i think i wanted to be, you know? Does that make sense? Yeah. Like I always wanted to be the tough guy because I was just a little nothing, you know. Did your relationship with your parents and stepdad change after this incident? Um, no. No, my parents, everybody, my family is like super loving and accepting and, and, um, I mean,

they were like, this, we are only helping you with this. so this better be the last junkin shit that you're in. I was like, oh, it will be. But then, of course, I started being a drug dealer after that. I thought I was going to be a drug dealer. So I never got in trouble for that. But, you know, given the circumstances, like I've, in everything that I had already been through, I probably should have, like, not done that.

But that's what I decided to do. And as soon as I was off probation, I was buying weed from somebody, you know. I'm off. Now, I'm off of pills. I haven't. At that point, I think I was off of alcohol for a year. And I was like, oh, time to get my weed back. I'm gonna fucking, oh, yeah.

And a buddy of mine at work was like, why are you buying, you were from the city. You know people, right? Why are you buying weed, this dirt weed off of this dude? He's like, why don't we just start selling weed? You could smoke weed for free. I was like, that sounds like a fucking great idea. So do you think of this never happened? You never would have got addicted to pills?

Yes, 100%. Yeah. I worked that whole probation system, like, to my advantage. and I made it just so I could use drugs and drink the whole time. Like I figured out all of their things that they would say were random that I learned weren't. When the officers would figure out that I was like a normal, like easy going person, I would always get given to the rookies. So you could tell when it was like a new hire because I would get a new probation officer.

And they're new. They're always by the book. And I did the full five. So I went through a bunch of people. and the one she was like real weak and she told me all kinds of stuff that she wasn't supposed to and so it just helped me be you know a degenerate even more and especially that I knew like I was high on pills standing there in the office bugged out and I'm pissing for cocaine and marijuana you know and I've never done blow and you never got violated no and one time I was supposed to

which is kind of weird we had a call-in number did you did you have to do any Yeah, you would call in for the drug tests. Call and see, they'll ruin your weekend. You know, Super Bowl Sunday. You call in Friday. They're like call back Sunday. Oh, yeah, okay. So I'd have to call on Friday.

And apparently I missed it. And I really didn't mean to. So I showed up to my appointments at that time. I was like halfway in. There were every two weeks because I went from like twice a week to once a week. And then every two weeks and then once a month. And I went to my appointment. And he was like, you missed your calling.

I said, no, I never missed my calling. I didn't call my number. And he's like, it's right here. It says, you missed the calling. I said, well, call the message is still the same. So he calls, puts it on speakerphone, he calls. And my number wasn't on there. But it was the fucking week before.

The message had changed the week, you know, since. So it was a new message without my number. And he goes, that's interesting. Your number is not on there. And I was like, but it was. apparently I got called the week before and I just didn't go which I wouldn't never I wouldn't not do that but I must have fucked up but I was again I was on drugs and alcohol I was I had a big problem so I'm sure I just forgot the call and but he said he had the

violation written up and I was like oh shit but that didn't pan out so tell us about your addiction how bad that caught it was it it was bad um I I had like, I got like a weird organizational thing. So I had like all these little individual bottles with like the names and milligrams of all different hydrocodone. And not even so much like the, you know, they have seven fives, fives, tens, whatever. But they also have an acetamidifin rating as well. So some of them would be like 325, 500 or more. So they were all individual.

So I was just like heavy into taking any kind of pills that I could find. and it made me like I couldn't do anything without doing that. And I was, for a good portion of it, I was an alcoholic too. And alcohol actually was probably the worst thing for me. As I was saying about it in there, like it would have been a bad time. If not, I was just a degenerate drunk. In March, I'll be 17 years sober. Oh, congrats.

Yeah, thank you. That was, and that was a big deal. That was like the worst thing. thing for me was alcohol that was like I couldn't do anything and I thought I could do everything when I was drunk and so now I'm on probation drinking and the last night I drank I was at I was at the local mall we went to the Danbury mall it was like kind of similar I'm walking through there do you remember sparks no it was like an energy drink alcohol drink and it was like when they got banned like for a local from being an energy drink and an alcohol

but it was something similar to that. I was walking through the local mall, just like wasted, drinking alcohol. Like that's, you can't do that. And I'm on probation and doing this dumb shit. And I thought I was going to run out into the road and end my life because I was drunk and mad. My cousins were there.

It was at Taco Bell. It was all stupid. And I was like, I'm going to run into traffic. And I couldn't get up this hill. It was all snowy and shit. It was looking. ridiculous and I was like I can't do this anymore obviously I don't have control of myself so I quit drinking and then eventually I quit pills I stopped doing pills I didn't quit which is kind of a

strange wordplay with me but if I say I quit something like I'm done but I just kind of stopped doing pills and I had like a small relapse when my son was born and I don't really remember the first month of his life because something happened that really upset me and uh After that, I was like, I quit. I'm never doing this again. And so then I'll be 13 years, well, January, I was 13 years drug-free. And, yeah, so drugs and alcohol were like the worst thing that ever happened to me. If I would have just done the year in county, I probably, I've got to assume I would never have been addicted to anything.

And a lot of people say, I hear it a lot, too. It's the disease, the disease. I don't, I don't, I'm not, I don't believe that. What do you think it is then if it's not? I think it's, if anything, it might be a mental illness. But I, you know, like, and what I say is if you were on an a deserted island, you know, if I was born on an island, would I be addicted to, you know, hydrocodone? No, but I could get cancer. I could, you know, that could happen.

That's a disease. You know, I'm not going to get a drug problem on an island. So I think that's like people who want to make it seem like, like feel bad for me. This is a disease that I have. No, I chose everything. I had two half milligrams anax in my hand. I was taking a piss and I dropped one of them in the toilet full of piss. And it didn't cross my mind at all to just reach in there and just grab it out, kind of shake it off, little water and take it.

And I had a pocket full of them, which is. It's a sad thing. It wasn't like that was the last one. You know, that was my choice. I was like choosing to do this and do all this stuff. I wasn't, it wasn't like, you know, and I chose to quit. And I chose that like, this is not good. Yeah, I think addiction has a lot to do with circumstance environment and your choices because you can be born into a drug-fueled family where your mom is literally giving you or your dad heroin at eight years old.

And that's kind of an uncontrollable thing. And you form that addiction. Oh, yeah. And they're doing drugs together. or you get into an accident and you get addicted to that. And while all that's going on, you have the mental aspect of, okay, you're depressed or something happened to you or you're going through something traumatic. Right.

And that all kind of triggers it. I agree. I don't think like if you look at, say, someone like me, I don't just randomly have a drug addiction tomorrow. Right. Something is a precursor to that. Exactly. Whereas you could randomly get a disease tomorrow.

Exactly. So I think that's part of it too. And that's what I, and I'm sorry to everyone who thinks they got the disease. or, you know, everyone's got their own way at dealing with their addictions and problems. So I think that's kind of just a thing that people, maybe that's what you need to do. Like I was going to meetings and shit

when I was full-on active addiction and I was listening to all these people like, but I never went to a meeting afterwards. So like when I got clean, I never went to meetings. I had never been to a meeting where I wasn't on drugs, you know, if that makes sense. And rehab, all that did was just like, again, teach me how to work the system. And rehab didn't do anything.

I met cool people at rehab, though. Cool. I started smoking cigarettes in rehab, which made me start smoking tobacco for 18 years. Like all these things just like led me to do all these other things, which is kind of ridiculous. But, you know, it is a disease in a sense where it's kind of like an epidemic with like the just that when you look at it, the bigger picture, not on an individual case by case. It's a disease when you look at all of the people. affected by it. Yeah, for sure.

That is definitely, like you said, an epidemic of, and now I can't even imagine. Like, I would be afraid to do drugs right now just because, like, I, you know, I know people that have died that are dead because they thought they were doing something that they weren't, you know? And it's like, it's even scary to think. So I'm, like, glad that I'm like. Yeah, to me, that's a scariest thing. Like, I have friends that, like, will do cocaine for here and there.

And then they'll be like, why don't you just try it once? And I'm going to be like, because I'm going to be that one person where it's laced with fentanyl and I'm dead from it. It just doesn't interest me, you know. One time I was at like a small gathering and there was some blow going around and I was like, I was like, I'm going to try this because I just reported two days ago. I was like, and I could probably do a little bit. And this was, you know, in 2005 or something. And I was like I could do this and it'll be out of my, oh six maybe. And I was like, I could do this. It'll be out of my system. And I said, let me try some of this. This kid Josh. And he said, you never did this.

before and I said no and he said don't and I said really he's like you'll never stop and I didn't and I still I still never did coke so like I did a little heroin at one time like a couple times but I never did coke and and I think that was like a real friend move because I had a lot of money at this time in my life because I was living at home I was selling drugs and I had like a good job So I could have been the man, you know, like, go get an ounce. Let's all do blow all night. And everyone knew, like, I wasn't afraid to spend money. And he was like, no, don't do this.

Don't do it. You'll regret that. Don't do it. And I don't know if maybe he just knew me better than that, like how much of I loved alcohol. And he said, dude, you drank with us all night. And you were the only one not doing powder. I was like, oh, not something to be proud of. But I'd like to drink.

What keeps you sober for that long? What are some tools that have helped you along the way on the days you kind of feel like, you know, you wanted to use it? Because I'm sure you had those thoughts. You know what it is? It's kind of corny, but it's my timer. I like when I went to Las Vegas when I was six months in from not drinking. And that's like not the place to be at when you're trying to quit drinking. And I didn't know that.

Not at all. No, I was like, oh, shit. And I was thinking. what's the difference? I'll be six months. What's six months? I'll get fucked up. I'll come back.

And I was like, no, just stick with it. But I smuggled all kinds of prescription drugs there, but I wasn't drinking. So it's like my timer. Like if I were to go out there

and drink right now, like 17 years, you know, almost 17 or cook, done, nothing, you know. And those, those kind of things are what make,

I'm like, I don't want to reset that. What a downer that would be to have 17, 13, I think I'm four years off tobacco. Like, and I miss that the most. I miss tobacco the most. Oh, man, I miss it.

I do. But resetting those timers is like a big downer to me, and I just don't want to experience that. What do you think it's been the greatest lesson you've learned from this experience, both with addiction and also the incident that happened that night? The greatest lesson, I think, is like, J.L. is real. that is like no that's no joke I got super lucky I think so that crime is definitely not what it's

supposed to be and and you know like the people that I met through all of this taught me a lot of lessons throughout I'll tell you real quick just a quick kind of small world story so computer crime I met a guy back back in the I was 12 I think or 13 he wasn't a computer criminal he's a program He was 17, I think, at the time. His name is Jeff. He would listen to all my 12-year-old questions. How do I do this?

How do I do this? You know, this coding, coding. How do I do these calls? API calls. How do I do this? And he would always be there teaching me this shit, right? And I lost track at him. You know, we both grew up, whatever.

I'm working at this factory building IV pumps, right? I'm working with this dude named Jeremy. Weird dude. I add him on Facebook And this is probably 07-08 Mutual friends I get a message from somebody that says Is this

This isn't Kyle from Rochester, is it? And I'm reading a name. I'm like, Jeff, dude, this was the guy Who taught me how to program when I was 12 years old These two guys worked together At a stereo shop in New Jersey How we came back together Through this guy I worked with

In another state was crazy And like he owns like Zuka skateboards now. He's like a super nice guy all these years later. And I said, dude, you know what we've known each other? Almost like like pushing 30 years and how we got brought back together. So the people that I've met through all this kind of criminal behavior and stuff, I met a lot of good people. And like the people at my school, they were all good people.

And I think you should try the lessons that you can take from anything and all this stuff is like find good people. And keep them around you, surround yourself. good and positive people and influences people who who aren't so worried about themselves but they're worried about you as well um i don't know if that answers the question but um i feel like i met a lot of people through all this baloney like the the when i stabbed everybody i figured my friends parents would be like this is my son's thing you know how could you you know and they were like please what can we do to help you and they were like with open arms We'll get through this together.

So I met like all these great people through all these times. And it's not all bad, you know, I guess. No matter what's going on in your life, everything's not all bad. There's things that can be taken from everything that are good. And my kids help me stay out of trouble now too. So obviously you watch a show and I'm sure you've heard some of the stories where there are a lot of guests that have stories like yours, but, you know, they end up in prison for jail because of that.

Right. Does that, how does that make you feel about like the criminal justice system as a whole? It's totally, it's terrible. I think I'm a, and just as, as life goes on, like, I should have went to prison, I think. I feel like, did I want to, no, you know, but I, I've hurt people really bad. Like, I almost killed people. They said the kid was sticking his tongue through his cheek. It was like, it was, it was gruesome.

and and I I know people who have done less that are you know some someone was telling me someone's got five years for stealing a dog I kind of think maybe that's bullshit because I was like look what I did it I didn't but uh I think it just makes people look at the state system where it's very unaligned yes every you know a guy could do a year for something that's way you know worse than a guy that did 10 years for something you know oh yeah it's a messed up system. You've met people who are, you're like, how much? Well, I think the biggest issue is like sex offenses on the state level. On the feds, it's pretty kind of straightforward where they have the minimums. But like I read in the local people, even in Dambor and Bethel, sex offenders getting less time than I got in prison. Oh, yeah. And I think that's insane. No, that's totally nuts. I saw like some meme that was going around. It was like, oh, this is how you solve immigration problem. It was like, tell these people to go out and sex offenders and however many they get they'll get like we'll get instant citizenship and I was like I mean I don't mind the message like that's and with kids myself there's a sex offender that

lives 10 houses down and yeah I under yeah the the guidelines or whatever is totally messed up yeah they need to streamline that across all the states and I just don't understand like how how can anybody look at this and say, oh, you did these terrible? Like, I used to work in a kids prison, actually, in industry. I used to do the floors there. So we'd talk to the guards while we're doing the floors,

which was cool. I got to work with all these kids and shit. It was kind of cool. They were like helping me do carpet cleaning and shit at one point. Yeah, it was cool. DMX was actually locked up there, which is another little thing. And he was telling me about these disgusting stories.

He's like, there's kids in the Max unit. He's like, they were pimping their sills. sister out who was like three years old and they're 16 17 years old pimping out a three year old and they're going to be he said they'll be locked up till they're 18 and it'll be back in the world and I'm like that's fucking insanity that's your little baby sister like it makes you think dude it makes me like not trust anybody like um my kids I'm very protective of my children um and they know that and I try not to be because I want them to be honest with me about everything you know so i'm not like some strict whatever and we we talk normally to

each other and uh so i'm hoping that if there's any kind of any weird behavior anywhere like they won't be afraid that um that they'll get in trouble that they'll come to me and say like something weird or i don't like the way so-and-so is dad you know whatever because i just i'm not very trusting of people especially some of these terrible stories that i hear yeah it's nuts well kyle thanks so much for coming on the show today, brother. Thank you, man. Can I say one thing? Of course, man.

I know I gave you the shirt. I started this company and stuff. And we'll have the link to that in the bio too. And I appreciate that, which I would never ask for, but I appreciate that you do that and you help a lot of people out. But there's a guy bus from Machine Studio. He took me under his wing. We're in kind of the same thing.

And he's got to be one of the most positive and influential people I've met thus far. And he is just like a super good dude. And I don't think. I would be where I am in progressing with what I'm doing if it wasn't for him. Well, shout out to him. Shout out to Bus for Machine Sooner. Good guy.

What, do you have a podcast, too? I mean, basically, I call it that. And sometimes I have people like come and sit down and we talk. But mainly it's like a journal that I come to every Friday and fucking just talk shit. That's awesome. Talk about my life. And I kind of think, like, if anything were to ever happen to me. Your legacy.

Yeah, there's a hundred-something episodes right now that my. kids can go back and say, my dad was kind of a weird dude, you know. Well, now we could add this to the list. This is awesome. And everything you got going here. I know everyone tells you this, too, but keep going, man. This is cool. It means a lot, man.

You know, that's what we're kind of going for, like the way, you know, when people walk in and we want them to be inspired. Right. I came in. I was like, oh, God. Oh, shit. That wasn't. You're like, is that really Ian? Yeah.

When I turned the corner, I was like, there he is. He's a real person. So everybody, Ian is a real person. I'm not a catfish. He exists. And I got to, dude, I'm so happy your dad was here. He's a good bit. He is in the episode with you guys.

I'm like, he is on your, he is like on your team. I feel like everyone should have that experience, like sit down with a parent. Because that'll live there forever. I get to look back at that. Right. That'll be a conversation. Big time. Playing forever.

And I'm so glad I just got to meet him. He's a good man. He likes to come around here more. We've been spending a lot of time together. He'll come out to dinners with us and he'll hang out and stuff. and I go over there every morning to walk my dog that lives with them. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah, so I go take my dog for a walk and him and my dad are really close.

That's great. Yeah, he likes it. It's cool to be able to see the success that's come from such a bad period of time. Yeah, man. And did you think it was, did you think like my life is over or did you? I did for a little bit because of what society does, like the felony on that. I mean, I remember, you know, distinctly, my lawyer was like to the judge pleading for no prison time because how bad a felony is on your record. And now I'm at the point where the felony hasn't affected me at all.

Like I've thought about, you know, maybe go for a pardon. But I'm like, do I? I mean, yeah, I would give me gun rights back, but that's not something I personally am not like passionate about. Would it be cool to go to a shooting range, maybe hunting, yeah. But you made it this far without. Yeah, I made it. But I also think having the felony on my record is a good thing because it gives hope to so many people. Yeah.

Oh, for sure. Like if I got pardoned tomorrow, say, by Trump, right? Right. Not everyone gets that opportunity. And I get that. And I just feel like I'm more like one of the group. Right. You know, having that felony.

Would it be cool? Yeah, it would be cool, you know? Because I feel like that would be such a redemption arc to it. Yes. But I think the first part is, you know, paying off the rest of the restitution because then it's like, well, what could people say bad about me at that part, you know? Right. Oh, you got a lot left, right?

I'm down to 350 now. Wow. That's got to be. I'm cruising, baby. I'm cruising. Yeah. Some people owe millions, you know. Dude, when I listen to your story, because I was always like, I want to hear more.

And then when you just did the last one, Yeah. Dude, I didn't realize it was, I was like, dude, you are the man. I lived a lot, man. You know, I was like, this shit is crazy. Yeah, and I know I'm being more vocal about, like, what I'm paying towards it and transparency. I think that's good for the audience to hear kind of where I'm at. And if I could beat each, like each more than I paid the year before, I have it off in a few years.

Nice, man, that's good. And you are a real person. And that's, and this is you, you know. This is you. And this is what you're going through and what you've been through. And it is possible. Like, there's, there is redemption. And I think you're a good example of that.

Well, thank you, man. Thanks so much for coming again and safe travels back. Your wife definitely missed out by coming out. Yeah, Erica, you should have come in. Yeah, she should have came out to hang out. But, oh, well, you send her a video. She'll see this. It'll be somewhere. You better make her watch it, you know. She probably won't. Thank you, man. Yeah, take care. Awesome.