Loremen Podcast - Loremen S5Ep58 - The Durweston Poltergeist

Episode Date: November 14, 2024

James tells Alasdair the spooky story of a poltergeist in Dorset*. All your polterguy classics are in play here: scratching sounds, flying objects and a young girl with a talent for throwing things while no one is looking. Prepare yourself for strange happenings in a Durweston semi, witnessed by a gamekeeper whose perception of time and space is all slantwise. Let's be honest, this episode gets a little bit silly. Especially towards the end when A-List celebrity Keanu Reeves makes a guest appearance. *Of course he would, etc. This episode was edited by Joseph Burrows - Audio Editor. LoreBoys nether say die! Support the Loremen here (and get stuff): patreon.com/loremenpod ko-fi.com/loremen Check the sweet, sweet merch here... https://www.teepublic.com/stores/loremen-podcast?ref_id=24631 @loremenpod youtube.com/loremenpodcast www.instagram.com/loremenpod www.facebook.com/loremenpod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

McPops from McCafe are a new sweet treat available in three delicious flavors. Berry, white chocolate, and hazelnut and cocoa. Perfect to add on to a small $1 plus tax premium roast coffee. It's a match made by McCafe. At participating McDonald's restaurants, prices exclude delivery. Interior Chinatown is an all-new series based on the best-selling novel by Charles Yu about a struggling Asian actor who gets a bigger part than he expected when he witnesses a crime in Chinatown. Streaming November 19th only on Disney Plus.

Welcome to Lawmen, a podcast about local legends and obscure curiosities from days of yore. I'm James Shake Shaft. And I'm Alistair Beckett King. Or am I? What an intriguing start, James. What an intriguing start. I wonder if that will pay off later. Yeah, when we descend into lunacy in this episode.

Well, this episode features a poltergeist. Endorse it. Of course I would, I'd love the place. I'd probably want to check out the evidence first though, because poltergeist. Endorse it. Of course I would, I'd love the place. I'd probably want to check out the evidence first though, because poltergeist cases are notoriously, oh, difficult to categorise. Almost. You might almost call them stories of children throwing things. Hmm. But enjoy, there's some really spooky stuff on the way.

And an unexpected Hollywood A-lister guest star. Cool breeze over a mountain. They just drift in. Oh, hello, Alastair. Hi there, James. Are you ready to brace yourself? Am I ready to brace myself? Yeah, this is a sort of a pre-bracing warning. Yeah, okay.

Yes, I'm now ready to brace myself. Well, I've got a really, really great Poltergeist story. Poltergeist to the uninitiated. And it hails all the way. Sorry, should I brace myself now? Or, because at the moment I'm only ready to brace myself. I think you just want to start beginning to tense your muscles ready to be braced. Okay, I'm easing into a brace.

We're going to be in the village of Norton, which is on the outskirts of the village of Derweston, which is near Blandford in Dorset. Yes. I mean, of course I would. I bloody love the place. Thank you very much. You could probably embrace yourself now. That was what you needed to get yourself ready for.

This story comes from Roger Guthridge's tome, Dorset, Curious and Surprising. Mmm. Great title. I think this is where I got the tale of the whale. Do you remember the whale that time that the guy, it washed up on a beach, a guy bought the bones, lost all his money, put a play on it, went very badly. Yes. He was under the mistaken impression that a beached whale was a great investment.

Yes. And it turned out to be of relatively low value. Yes, he was under the mistaken impression that a beached whale was a great investment. Yes. And it turned out to be of relatively low value. Yes, exactly. But this one, this is a chapter called the Derwestern Poltergeist. So we're going to travel back in time to the 13th of December 1894. If you are in the Stour Valley and you look up to the sort of the hills at the side of it, you'd notice a white walled pair of cottages. It looked like just one big cottage, but then you'd realize, oh no, I think actually there's two front doors there.

They're just two semi-detached cottages. And in those cottages, Alistair, Mrs. Best lives. And on the 13th of December, 1894, she hears a faint knocking and scratching that grows louder over the next couple of days. Oh, so loud. A new man enters the story. Her next door neighbor, the gamekeeper, Mr.

Newman enters the story. The knocking and scratching. Wow. You didn't have any trouble coming up with a name for another character there. There's some other nominative determinism going on in this episode, which I think we will all enjoy. The scratching and the knocking gets louder and louder until it's so loud. It's also heard by the blacksmith who describes it as heavy as sledgehammer blows.

And that blacksmith would know because they are a blacksmith and that's the sort of stuff they deal in. So in these two houses, we've got Mrs. Best, Mr. Newman and living with Mrs. Best. In fact, she'd only just become the foster mum to them, a two orphan sisters, Annie Cleve, who was 12 or 13 and a sister, Gertie, who was four. And those girls had had an older sister called Lizzie who died of consumption or tuberculosis. I think consumption and TB are the same thing.

Okay. I thought consumption was greed. Um, well, it's not. It's TB. Yeah. They're being consumed by whatever it is. In fact, Annie was not in great health. A doctor had described her as being of a markedly consumptive tendency and hysterical, which seems rude.

I'd be quite stressed if I was on the brink of consumption. Yes, I think so too. So December carries on and the events in Norton, these farm cottages become even more bizarre. Mrs Best was startled by a number of stones that flew through the window. So that could you think, oh, that could have just been chucked by someone, but no, those stones pelted through the window, making small stone sized holes, stopped in midair and then backed up and went back through those small stone sized holes, like a scene from the film Tenet. So, okay.

So when you say through the window, you don't mean through the open window, you mean through the glass panes of the window. Yes. The stones went through, smashed straight through and then went back through the glass panes of the window. Yes. The stones went through. Smashed straight through. And then went back through the holes that they made. Froze, Matrix style in the air. Mm-hmm. And then shot backwards through the holes.

Did they repair the holes on the way? Doesn't say. Let's move on. Neighbors searched the area in case there was a prankster at large, but they didn't even find a footprint. And on the 18th of December, so only five days after this had all kicked off, Annie, the older, older of the two sisters, reported seeing a boot come out of the garden and kicked the back door, leaving a muddy mark. And just the boot did that?

Just a boot on its own. A real smoking boot for poltergeist activity there. Well, that boot comes back into it. That's very much Chekhov's boot. its own. A real smoking boot for poltergeist activity there. Well, that boot comes back into it. That's very much Chekhov's boot. Oh, all right. Okay. Mr. Newman saw a big blue bead strike the window, but not break it. And then he sat down in his chair and he says to the poltergeist, poltergeist,

sorry, you're a coward, you're a coward. Why don't you throw money? And then a quantity of little shells came through the open door arriving at intervals of 30 seconds to a minute and travelled about 5 feet from the ground. Again, so far so thrown.

Well, hold on. They travelled at a height of 5 feet? Yes. Sorry, are we seeing shells levitating towards the letterbox or something? They're shooting through an open door. Are they going through an open door or are they traveling through the wood? They traveled through an open door. They didn't make holes in the door, tenet style.

They came very slowly and when they hit me, I could hardly feel them. With the shells came two thimbles. They came so slowly that in the ordinary way they would have dropped along before they reached me. They came from a point, some I think a trifle higher and some no higher than my head. Both the thimbles struck my hat. Some missed my head and went just past and fell down slant and wise. Not as if suddenly dropped. Those that struck me fell straight down. So he's basically being pelted by shells and two thimbles in slow motion. Yeah. The slow motion thing is odd.

I concede that is marking it out as that's weird. Yeah, definitely. Cause up until now, I'll be honest. It sounds like the kids throwing things, but only if they have the ability to throw things in slow motion. Is it possible that that man, like a pigeon, just sees things faster than most people? Mr. Newman. Mr. Newman, he's the latest model of man, so he might have a higher frame rate than the average person. So to him, it might seem slow.

frame rate than the average person. So to him, it might seem slow. Then a pencil dropped into a bowl, the heart, a hasp, like the hasp of a glove, dropped into his lap. Then a woman's boot began moving a foot above the ground, which is, I think, given the circumstances, a confusing unit of measurement. Yeah. We want to stick with metric in this situation. Yes.

When you're talking about the height of boot moves a foot, that's confusing. Yeah. So this old dirty boot. Just to be, just to be clear, you're not talking about Mrs. Best when you say old dirty boot. No, sorry. Mrs. Best describes the footwear as she's chucking it back out the door as an old

dirty boot from off the garden plot. And then the gamekeeper, Mr. Newman comes outside, puts his foot on it, stamps on it and announces, I defy anything to move this boot. Then that's a good idea, Alistair, given the circumstances. Yeah, I think that's probably the end of the matter. He took his foot and it says, just as I stepped off, it rose up behind me and knocked my hat off, there was no one behind me said the incredulous gamekeeper.

The boots knocked his hat off. So how tall is this poltergeist? If it kicks off like a blooming Steven Seagal in his younger days. You think it was like a roundhouse kick? I see. Yeah. Yeah. Definitely.

Like a Ralph Macchio from the karate kid one. Like a, like a Jean Jonathanchio, from the Karate Kid one. Like a, like a John Jonathan Claude Van Dam. Yes. Jonathan. I don't know what that is. Jonathan. And then a few days later, Mrs. Best and the kids, they go into Mr.

Newman's cottage. I mean, it's right there. It's right next door. And they're visited by the rector of Derweston, the Reverend W.M. Anderson. Did you say that in the Matrix voice? Yeah, I did, but I did by accident, but also I think it's appropriate. Yeah. Reverend Anderson.

Because of the stones being stopped in midair, yes. Exactly. My name is Reverend Neo. Anyway, that didn't happen. So on the 4th of January, which was the reverend's first visit, nothing happened. But then he returned with the school master, Mr. Shepherd. A bit of confused nominative determination there.

Missed opportunity for Mr. Shepherd. Yes. He should have been Mr. The Bell's for me, not for you. And then Davis on the 10th of January and boom, Poltergeist kicked right off. So Mrs. Best put the two girls to bed and she lay alongside them with her head at the

opposite end, classic top and tail. And then loud wrappings were heard on the walls in different parts of the room. Mr. Shepherd went outside to make sure no one was playing tricks while Mr. Anderson remained in the bedroom and he could feel a vibration whilst holding the rail at the foot of the bed. And this varied according to the loudness of the knocking and the, the rector searched both the cottages thoroughly, the rector searched both the cottages thoroughly and he could hear the occasional noises if someone was scratching the wall with their nails.

Hmm. And Mrs Best had eyes on the kids the whole time. Yep. She's in the bed. She's top and entailed. And the vicar says, This scratching also appeared to be produced on the mattress of the bed, although I'm sure it was not produced by any of the three occupants of the bed, as I could see their hands and watch them very closely all the time." That was the Mr. Anderson.

So just to be clear, you were doing Keanu Reeves there? Well, yeah, it's closest I could get. That was near. I didn't mean to criticize it. I just couldn't remember if you're doing Agent Wajima-Gollett. It was kind of meant to be Agent Smith, but I think it came off a bit more Keanu, didn't it? Because why would Mr. Anderson talk be Agent Smith, but I think it came off a bit more Keanu, didn't it? Because why would Mr. Anderson talk with Agent Smith's voice?

Also Agent Smith would be the voice of the blacksmith in this story. Oh yes. I don't think you thought these accents through at all. Could you just do Keanu Reeves from Bram Stoker's Dracula from now on for clarity? Mr. Anderson, who speaks with Agent Smith's voice now, he observed that the wrappings frequently stopped when he came into the room. But after a little time, they just carried on when he was in there. They were loud and continuous for much of the night at 2 15 AM.

He suggested asking the agency as they come to call the thing. The agency. Wow. That's, that's very cool. Yeah. If it could write any communication on a slate and it was invited to deliver like a number of knocks for yes. And, and, and it did, it did that.

And as, as Roger Guthridge says here, this was a poltergeist with intelligence. So they brought a slate and a pencil and it could respond to questions about where they wanted the slate to be placed. Everywhere they suggested it just sort of like made a bang on the wall. Obviously indicating his displeasure at that. And then just like Mr. Anderson says, we almost gave up at this point until as an afterthought, I suggested the windowsill, which was a once accepted.

They asked more questions and basically the podcast says that only Mrs. Best and the two girls could remain in the room and the light had to be taken out. So everyone else goes downstairs, but left the bedroom door open. Then they had the sound of the pencil scratching and Mrs. Best uttered a suppressed groan. And then there were four knocks. And at that very moment, these were delivered. The sound of the pencil dropping was also heard, followed immediately by the screaming of come from Mrs. Best.

And then here we go again with agents, I mean, Mr. Anderson. I was in the room instantly, the whole thing taking less time than it would take to read this description in an excellent accent. It doesn't say that last bit, I must admit. That was editorializing there. And there was just some scratches on the slate. They didn't, they, they asked for something legible and it promised in the usual way knocking. So they repeated the exercise and this time the presence produced a flourish on the slate.

Curves that were beautifully drawn with firm bold lines such as no child could produce. It was a bit rude. And then it was repeated a third and a fourth time and the words M-O-N-Y Money and G-A-R-D-E-N Garden appeared on the slate. Money Garden Neither Mrs Best nor Gertie could write and he was literate but

the vicar says that he was convinced that no one had moved in the bed, which was four or five feet from the window sill. Remember it said it wanted it on the window sill. So they were like five foot away from that. And Mrs. Best offered to take a solemn oath, confirming that was the case. In case anyone doubted it, there was no further knocking and they left at 2 50 AM. They searched the garden. There was no money there. Then left at 2.50am. They searched the garden,

there was no money there. Then Christmas day, they decided they wanted a little break from all this ghost stuff. So Annie and Gertie went to stay with a family in the main part of the village. This family was the Cross family. Which might have, they might have been a bit annoyed because of all this stuff going on, ruining their Christmas. You don't necessarily want a visitor at Christmas. It can be a stressful time. So, but fortunately nothing happened until in early January, the girls went back to their old house for one night and then came back to the Cross house when scratching sounds were heard in their room. Plaster fell from the walls and ceiling onto their heads. So they moved to a different room. The scratching happened again the next night, despite the presence in the room

of Fred Cross, who is the adult son of the host family, and he had a light. And this is in the Cross house now. This is now the, the poltergeist followed them home, followed, followed them from their home to the Cross house and they're scratching on the walls, even though Fred's in the room and he's got a light on. And then the poltergeist went quiet again until the 15th of January. And then on the 15th of January, friend, his mother and sister are downstairs and they hear several taps in quick succession.

I at once went to the children, finding them all asleep, although a loud knock after I got into the room, awoke the eldest orphan. That was Fred Cross. I don't know if the crossness is coming through. Yeah, he's kind of furious. The knocks were being repeated. We sent for a few friends to come and hear the noises. The eldest orphan, while dressing, awoke the little one. I gave several questions to the agency, as it would not reply to anyone else, a large number of which were answered by an

agreed number of knocks. There was no one except the small child who was still in bed within a distance of at least five feet from the spot where the knocks came from. A light was burning all the time. And Mr. Shepherd, our schoolmaster was in the room when the last of the questions was answered. So I think what I was trying to say there is the kid was there, but they were away from the wall, but there's still this knocking, these intelligent knockings. Okay. All right. And knocking these intelligent knockings. Okay.

All right. And they continued until after midnight. And then there were no noises the following night, but then on the 17th of January events took a more extraordinary turn. Basically the poltergeist starts knocking along to songs. Oh, right. That's new. I don't think I've ever heard of a poltergeist who likes a bop.

It started knocking a song that was known by well, he says here, it was keeping in time with any tune, which was well known by children. Interesting. Interesting that the activity tends to be concentrated around the two girls. Yes. And then they asked for a song called the British Grenadiers, but it didn't know it. But all sorts of other comic songs and playground songs and church songs, it knew and would like knock along to. Now, as it says here, throughout this bizarre episode, a light was burning in the room and Fred was holding the children's hands to make sure they weren't knocking.

Okay. All right. The knocking ceased after midnight, but began again the next morning and it would again do the songs thing. Now at this point, the children were split up. Gertie was taken away that afternoon and Annie the following Monday. Annie initially went to stay with a woman at Erwin Minster and the disturbances happened again. They included noises on the outside walls of the house, a large stone thrown at the porch and snowdrops being dug up in the garden and thrown about.

It sounds kind of like childish mischief to me. That does sound a bit like it, yeah. And then an inspector of boarded out children took Annie away to stay at her flat in London and official records suggest there was no disturbance worth recording. Sorry, what job is this? An inspector of boarded out children. Yeah, I guess that, you know, like... A child inspector? What kind of job is that?

Is it the old word for the social? Oh, like social services? Yeah, I guess so. But they do say that the girl displayed a highly developed powers as a medium. But she did sadly die from consumption. Not that laughter. And what happened to Gertie is unknown. Oh, that's a shame.

Yeah. I was about to accuse those kids of all sorts of shenanigans. Well, they could have they could have been shenaniganing. We don't know. But that's very sad. They certainly packed a lot of shenanigans into that short life. A couple of short months there, the right old old time if it was them shenaniganing. And it was, let's be honest, it definitely was.

Well that was the story of the Derwesten poltergeist. Well I was really enjoying it until the end where a child died, which I really think sort of spoiled the fun. It did a little bit, I apologise. I mean there's nothing we can do about it now. What a story. What a story. What a mystery.

I guess we'll never know. You ready to score? Yes. I'd be very glad to score it. All right then. So first up, let's go with naming. All right. The Derwestern Poltergeist.

Yes. Good, solid name. The Derwestern Poltergeist, which took place in Blandford. Yep. And or Norton. It says like it was the village of Norton on the outskirts of it, but it's also down as being in the village of Derwesten, which is near Blandford. Right.

Which is in Dorset. We've got Mrs. Best. Yep. Mr. Newman. Mr. Newman.

We've got some real placeholder names here. Yes. The Reverend Anderson. Yes. Yep. Mr. New Man. Mr. New Man. We've got some real placeholder names here. Yes. The Reverend Anderson. Yes. Yep. Good. The confusing Mr. Shepherd. The ghost gets referred to as the Agency.

I like the Agency a lot. That's very good. Quite a cool name. Yep. That's very X-Files. That's, that is the coolest part of the story. Calling a ghost the Agency. And of course the cross family.

And they would have been. Not plaster off my ceiling. That'd be cross. At Christmas too. It's Christmas. So what are we talking? What are we talking then for names? I think we're looking at a three.

I think we're looking at a three. They're good. But I think apart from the agency, I'm not thrilled by any of them. Okay. Category two, then. Category two. Supernatural.

Supernatural. Okay. All right. Well, officially, I think it was them girls. Yeah. Yeah. If you asked me down a doorstep, Bobo, I'd say, I think it was them girls. I think it was them girls.

That's what I would say to you. If we were just two yeoman, two stout farmhands. And it confused Mr Newman. If we were just two new men, just popped into existence, I'd say, I think it was them girls, I would say. But for the purposes of podcasting, I'm going to pretend not to think that. And say, it's very supernatural. It's very, oh! Will Barron Whoa! Shells.

Jason Vale Yep. Wrapping along to children's songs. Will Barron A boot. Jason Vale A boot kicking a man's hat off. A child would never enjoy that. Will Barron No. Jason Vale The tearing up of flowers from a flowerbed and flinging them about. Again, things children famously don't enjoy. writing on a slate, something a child would never do at this time. What else?

Just making little noises and getting to stay up late. Things children, all things children famously hate. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Of course. And what could be more supernatural than the way the poltergeist followed the children around and seemed to appear wherever they were?

Yeah. That's clear evidence of supernatural activity. Jason Vale Yes. Jason Vale So yeah, it's a sarcastic five out of five for supernatural. Jason Vale Okay then. Jason Vale It's a right sideways look at a five. Jason Vale Okay then, right then. In that case, I refer you to my next category, which is this is a bit bit much even for me. Okay.

All right. Do I need to brace myself again? Yeah, I think you do need to brace yourself a little, at least vaguely tense and be ready. What's the third category James? Ayahuasca where I makes a U out of waska. I thought you were going to go with Iowaska, I hardly know her. I makes a wask. U out of was and k.

All right. I mean, I've heard the effects of Iowaska include disorientation and the category has confused me a lot. And that's the fit. What's going on, Newman? You think there's some kind of psychotropic substance in the water, in the air? Certainly at the start of the story. It's worn off by the end, but something happened on that 13th of December 1894 to the water.

Mr Newman sits down, he sees a big blue bead strike the window. I honestly don't think I would necessarily be able to tell what color a bead was. If I only saw it hit the window, but if it's moving in slow motion until I saw it stop, I don't know if it was in slow motion. Maybe you've opened your doors of perception. Yeah, I guess so. And hippies do like beads. Don't they?

Yeah, exactly. You've opened your doors of perception and a shower of shells come through. Wow. Five feet above the ground, moving slanting wise. Incredible. At about head height, he's getting struck in the hat by thimbles. Hmm. And a slant, the grooviest angle.

Exactly. It's not a straight, like a square, like you, James, but at a sort of slant wise angle. Yeah. Well, contrary to what I said in the previous category, I now think it was all a drug induced trip. Yep. The gamekeeper Newman. What games he keeping?

Yeah. Yeah. Come on then. What are we talking about? I probably maybe like a psychedelic four where the colors are changing and sort of shapes are rippling out of it. Yeah. Yeah. Come on then. What are we talking? Probably maybe like a psychedelic four where the colors are changing and sort of shapes are rippling out of it. Yeah. I like that. It's got like a spinning background. Yeah. And a big blue bead. And then, okay, then for my final category, Keanu's out of Reeves. How many Keanu's is it out of Reeves?

Yes. All right. Well, he is playing several characters here. Yep. Including, including agent Smith. Yep. Yes. A character not played by Keanu Reeves. Nope.

He did some, he did some excellent acts of work. He did. He did. Mr. New Man. New Man. A Neo Man. Okay. Yeah.

The character he famously plays in the Matrix films. Neo. Yeah. An anagram of one. So maybe this won't be that high scoring a category. What about, he might have, he could have played Fred Cross probably sort of quite like, you know, like when he was the guy in the fella in speed. He was, he was crossing that.

He was very frowning. The bus is going how fast? How fast? We can't slow down. I can't remember exactly what accent he does in that phone, but it's something like that. It's somewhat like that. You what? It's cans.

It's cans. That's the bit where she hits the baby buggy, but it's full of cans. Oh good. What a relief. It's just cans. Right then. So yeah. Score me for Keanu's out of Reeves.

I mean, I guess it's Keanu. Yes. Keanu, Keanu's out of Reeves. Put that in your spreadsheet, listener. If we need to, through science science turn Keanu into a number, I'm going to use astrology future i.com's numerology calculator. I typed in Keanu, and I'm going to hit calculate. It's 19. That's way more than five. That is that's too high. That's not out of five.

What's 19 in numerology? Well, 19, you'd add the numbers together. One plus nine is 10. And then you'd add them together again, you get one. Oh, damn it. I feel like he deserved more than that. But it is Neo. Yeah.

Well, it's five letters long. So let's say it's a five. Yeah, come on. Beautiful. Well, thank you very much for those wonderful scores. And thank you, Mr Keanu Reeves. It was Keanu Reeves doing James the whole way through. What?

He does have range. That was, noise was me, Keanu Reeves taking off the mask of James, but I'm going to remain in character for the rest of the recording. Well thank you very much for coming on the podcast, Keanu Reeves. Where will you go now? What will you do? I dunno. Where will you go now? What will you do? Oh, oh, to know. Well, you're improvising at the exact speed Keanu Reeves would.

That's why I appreciate about this. It's so in character. The future. I mean, we all are, really. Yeah, yeah, we are. And you can maybe add the sound effect from Bill and Ted on there. Yeah. Or not. And just have me say that. Save time. Oh, Alistair, I've just turned up. What happened? James, you won't believe it. No. The Keanu Reeves was on the podcast doing a bang on impression of you.

And I have a weirdly bad impression of myself on several occasions. I hope any factual inaccuracies will be squarely laid at his feet and not mine. They certainly will. If you want to hear extras and outtakes from this episode, which I imagine there will be a few, please go to Patreon.com forward slash lawmen pod and join us. Thank you, Joe, for editing and maybe also Thelma Schoenmacher for editing. And thank you very much for everyone who already supports us on Patreon.

See you next time. I'll do the episode next time, actually, for a change. Okay. All right. Wow. The old Shake Shack Pimento Mori. What a move. The old Shake Shack Baton switch. You're like one of those Victorian graves. Remember that you too will die.

It's a bit water bountary, isn't it? Yeah. Like other gravestones. The main thing is that you are dead now, gravestone. I might be dead, but everyone else in here is dead as well, actually, if you look. And you're probably going to die, well, almost definitely going to die too. I'd say definitely, actually. I should stop putting caveats on it. And you sure that's what you want engraving on the stone? Because once I start.

Yes. And this conversation now. Including this bit. Yes, this is on it. It's a big gravestone. It's a big bill, but I'll be dead. I won't have to pay for it. Don't put that in, but do. And also you'll die too soon. You'll die too someday. This is the tallest gravestone anyone's ever seen. Yeah. The tallest and bleakest.