Loremen Podcast - Loremen S5Ep59 - Oxfordshire Fairies

Episode Date: November 21, 2024

Bring a sandwich, grab an iron horseshoe and don't be a Greedy Jack because we are going fairy finding! James returns to Oxfordshire's Rollright Stones for some genuine fairy stories. Learn real-world strategies that YOU can use to avoid falling foul of the fae folk. Don't follow the corpse lights, abstain from shooting at your neighbour's trees and steer clear of making assumption about bakers. Please. Plus, James dives into the world of 1970s publishing, and comes away an expert in sausages and kissing. Here is James's field report from Adwell Cop. This episode was edited by Joseph Burrows - Audio Editor. LoreBoys nether say die! Support the Loremen here (and get stuff): patreon.com/loremenpod ko-fi.com/loremen Check the sweet, sweet merch here... https://www.teepublic.com/stores/loremen-podcast?ref_id=24631 @loremenpod youtube.com/loremenpodcast www.instagram.com/loremenpod www.facebook.com/loremenpod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The epic return of Yellowstone is now streaming exclusively on Paramount+. You destroy me, you destroy yourself. Unlike you, I keep my promises. The wait is over. Yellowstone, new episodes now streaming exclusively on Paramount+. Interior Chinatown is an all-new series based on the best-selling novel by Charles Yu about a struggling Asian actor who gets a bigger part than he expected when he witnesses a crime in Chinatown. Streaming November 19th only on Disney Plus. Welcome to Lawmen, a podcast about local legends and obscure curiosities from days of yore.

I'm James Shakespeare. And I'm Alistair Beckett King. Welcome to Lawmen, a podcast about local legends and obscure curiosities from days of yore. I'm James Shakespeare. And I'm Alistair Beckett King. And Alistair, I hope you have prepared yourself because I'm going to take you down to some fields in Oxfordshire and we're going to look for some fairies. I mean, that sentence could have ended worse. Yes. That sounds fine.

Yeah, should be fun. But do treat these fairies with respect. James, I will be treating them with the utmost respect. Wonderful. Well, let's go find some Oxfordshire fairies. Okay, Alistair. Yes, James. Good. That's the pleasantries out of the way.

Done. Move on. Today, Alistair, it's fairy folk time. Excellent. So we need to be prepared. Fortunately, we are prepared because one of the law folk, Jumping Jack Flash, I'm not going to finish your name in front of children, has given us a bunch of books about the phase. I think we did actually use one of them in the Leicester Live last year.

Oh, quick plug, we're coming back to the Leicester Comedy Festival. But it's this one where the cover features like an elf, an even more elf in Wayne's sleep. There's a lot of riff raff from Rocky Horror Show. Yes. In that elf, I think. Was that played by Wayne's sleep? I've not actually ever seen Rocky Horror Picture Show. Don't tell anyone. You haven't?

Never ever. That's fine. In my opinion, that's okay. No, it's Richard O'Brien. Yes. That's fine. In my opinion, that's okay. No, it's Richard O'Brien who wrote it and created it plays Riff Raff the butler and he has a bald head and a mischievous glint to his eye. And that's very much the, the, yeah, the Elfin character, as you say, on the front of the book. What's the title of the book? I can't quite see.

It's called A Field Guide to the Little People by Nancy Arrowsmith. And it's got a quote from The Observer on the cover, a delightfully eccentric and succinct guide to some 80 elves, goblins, dwarves, and other unorthodox adjuncts of the landscape. I'm glad to know it's succinct. Yes. The last thing you want is a verbose guide to the fairy folk. I don't know this. You don't want to be flipping through page after page

to find out which one you're dealing with. Al-Khalili Well, I think you would end up doing that because the names don't tell you exactly what they are. So you've got to read all the descriptions of all the little people, of which, as it says, there's over 80. I think I've read a few of the names before. Mason Harkness I don't think you should let that stop you from reading some of the names again. There's split into three main types of elf. Light elves, dark elves, and dusky elves. I don't feel great about those categories. Not thrilled by those categories, but okay.

I don't know anything about Elfin law. So maybe I'm wrong. Well, to be honest, the light elves include the willow, the wisps, which are literally lights. They're made of light. Fair enough. Okay. You've got me there.

The darks include the red caps and the knockers, which are deep underground, so that would be dark. And then the, by far the biggest category is the Dusky, which include, but are not limited to, Mound Folk, River Women, Pixies, Night Elves, Hobgoblins, Mer Women, Mer Men, Slay Beggy and the Tillwith Tag, Polter Sprites. Come on, no way is Polter Sprites, what? Hey, hey men. That's just the start of every song in the 60s. Alistair And of course, the goat people and loads more,

loads and loads more. But Alistair, I've got that book because we're going to visit the fairies of Oxfordshire. Like in our minds, in a story kind of way, I'm going to paint pictures with words. Will Barron Oh, so I don't need like a bindle full of bits of iron to protect me then? No, we should be fine. I'm going to be treating these elves with respect, unlike how some of the people in the stories treat the elves. First up, we're going to go to the Rollerite Stones just to recap. I think we've talked of these elves before. Do we need a roll-write stone recap? Do you remember the stories? Will Barron

I think we do. I think we do. I know we've got a series of stones that wander around running errands in the local area once a year, something like that. Alistair No, not so much. These are, so roll-write stones, you've got the main stone circle, uncountable. Will Barron Of course, of course. The thing is, for me, I'm so bad with numbers, every stone circle is uncountable. So that doesn't really stand out. And then you've got the Kingstone and the Whispering Knights.

Story being. When you were naming the different stones and you were saying the King and the Knights, I was going to say Dave, Dee, Dozie, Beaky, Mick and Titch. And then I was wondering why are they in my mind? And it's because I did a gig at the Reading Hexagon. And one of the other things that was playing there was the sensational 60s experience. And there's just something slightly sad about the sign because it promises Dozy, Beaky, Mick and T Oh, that's not all of them. It's not, is it? No.

What were they? I'm sorry. I assumed you were familiar with Dave D. Dozy Beaky McIntich lore. I've heard people say those words all in a row. That is really the extent of my knowledge, but seeing it without all the names, I don't know if, is it, is it a death? Is it a breakup?

I don't know enough about the band. Are they real? Are they real people or are they puppets? I think they're real, they're not like clangers, James. Yeah, they're real people with feelings. Hopefully don't listen to this podcast. Yeah, we probably, I probably won't go into what I thought they were then. I thought they were like Trumpton or something. I think, I think you've confused Dave Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick and Titch with Hugh Pugh, Barney McGrew, Cuthbert, Dibble and Grubb. Right. Okay. I mean, you can see why, right?

Is that your fault? No, it's not. It's not. Who can blame you? Imagine if Hugh Pugh left, got a solo career doing whatever it was he did in Trump, was he a fireman? We become a freelance firefighter. Is he disrupting the firefighting industry? Thank you for correctly using the politically correct term firefighter, not fireman, and rightly so. And you should treat firefighters with respect in just the same way you would the fairy folk. Roll right, stone recap.

Yes. Story being, there was a king and his army who were going to invade England. They get to obviously Longcompton. A witch appears and says, if basically, if you take seven steps in the form of a poem, she says, if you take seven steps and you can see Longcompton, then you'll be the king of England. So he does. And then a big...

Seems like a great deal. It seems fine. He's on top of a hill. He does those steps. And then a bit of hill rises up in front of him and his men get turned into stone. And then there's a few other men who were conspirators who are a little bit further away

called the Whispering Knights. So there's like three sort of stone circle bits altogether. Well, two stone, one big stone circle. What was probably an entrance to a grave, which is the Whispering Knights, is like four stones together and then the King's Stone on his own and then a mound, which does block the view to Longcompton. Those fairies at Rollwright, someone didn't treat them with respect. First of all, someone in trying to count the stones, put a loaf of bread, a baker it was obviously, put a loaf of bread on each stone. Of course, yeah, that's how a baker would do it. He has ready access to bread. They have ready access. I'm so sorry. Thank you. No, they put a bunch of rolls probably rather than full on loaves because there's like,

there's around 60. They rolled the roll-ride stones. Yes, they did. That's not what that name means. They berolled them. But when they got around, like fairies basically started nicking the bread. I would have just thrown a little bit of flour on them, like just stop oil would. Someone did paint them once. It was in the news that they'd been vandalized and someone had painted

the stones, but I did think that was probably someone just trying to count them. And someone did do some quite bad vandalism. It was really naughty. They put a burning tire on one. Really? Yeah. Really? Yeah. Really silly. I'm feeling uncharacteristically Daily Mail in this episode because I've become confused by gender neutral job titles and now I'm tutting at vandalism. Probably the teenagers.

Well, here comes an unreconstructed old man who saw the fairies and described them as little folk like girls to look at, which is a peculiar sentence. I think he means that he's never seen child women before. He's never seen girls. Is child women the politically correct term for girls, James? Child women. Child women. Child women. Yeah, this is reported in Folklore of Oxfordshire by Christine Bloxham. Yeah, this old man saw him describing, there's little folk like girls to look at.

The best way that I can make sense of that sentence is that they looked like small girls. Yeah, you can sort of picture what he means, that they're sort of slim and small and dainty and fair and that sort of thing. Yes. And his widow, so he evidently died. Immediately after giving that quote. Yeah. Boom. There. His widow said that they came out of a bank near the Kingstone. Starzy got him. Yeah. Wait a minute. It's like this interview took place during this guy's death. Yeah, wait a minute. It's like this interview took place during this guy's death. It starts off with him describing them as, yeah, so on. He's alive at the start of the interview by the end of it. His widow is chipping in. I don't like to have a pop at the writer and the collector of the folklore's writing, but this is confusing because it says,

recently, fairies have been seen at the Royal West Stones by an old man who described them as little folk like us to look at while his widow said that they came out of a bank near the King's Stone. Now, by a bank, we're talking about... Oh yeah, sorry, go on. Yes. A mound of some kind, I assume. Not a building society. Not Nat West's fairy edition.

And she and her friends placed a stone over the hole to stop them coming out. But the next morning, stone had moved. So maybe it's fairies, maybe they've just angered a badger. Christ in a Bloxham. Doesn't work really that name. No, it'd be Christ in eee Bloxham. But don't worry Alistair, because the very next quote I have is from 1976 and it was collected by Christ in a Hole.

It's Christine a Hole. She was told that people who led a pure life could see fairies near the whispering nights. I've not seen those fairies. I'll tell you what else, probably didn't see those fairies. Those vandal teens. Curse them. We're assuming they're teens. They were definitely, they were teens.

Probably left wing teens. No, no. Okay, right. Well then, I'm going to usher you away from that old man. I'm so angry. I'm just reading the cartoons and the Daily Mail. I'm angry about the cartoons! Fred Bassett.

Yeah, that annoys me as well. So we're going over to Stoke Row, which is a very, very small little place. It's got a well called the Maharaja's Well, which has an interesting history, which we won't go into now, but it's got a weird, it's got like an elephant. It's like a well. We've teased us with that well, James. It was gifted by her Maharaja and it's got like elephant artwork. It's really quite fancy.

Anyway, so there's some woods there though, and there's a distorted old tree trunk which always contains a pool of water. And in the early 20th century, it was said that fairies would drive there in coaches on Midsummer's Eve and their horses would drink from this little thing. Mmm. There's another pond in Nanny Green, which apparently was where the little people would fill their pails at night in the moonlight. And then there's another place, which is also near me called Adwell Cop, which I did actually visit.

Made a little video, little field report video. Is that an incoming field report, James? Oh no, that's ages ago. I think I did it during lockdown. A previous field report? Previously, on field reports. If you go to our YouTube channel, there's stuff there like that. Should we pop a link in the notes?

Is this one of the ones where you found the place, James? Is this one of the rare James Shakespeare field reports where you actually find it? Or is it one of the ones where you become increasingly confused and distressed? No, I found it. It was difficult to investigate because, as a point out, you want to be wary of the fae. Naturally. Respectful. The whole thing was covered in stinging nettles. You want to be wary of the stinging nettles. And respectful. And there were signs up everywhere saying, warning, alarm mines.

Oh yeah, yes. That's ringing a bell. Yeah, which I presume they would. Presume that's how they work. They're not some sort of sonic, you know, attack anyway. So yeah, that was my adventure, Adwell Cop, which has a little song associated with it, which you'll see in the video, but basically an 18th century antiquary Delafield recorded the story that they saw that a traveler saw fairies dancing

on the cop singing a song, Ad Adwell Cop there stands a cup, drink the drink and eat the sop and set the cup on Adwell Cop and then it ends, which feels like it ends a bit soon. Really feels like it's missing a line. Yeah. It was a Bronze Age barrow. Oh, nice. Yeah.

And then we're going to get on to the Willow, the Wisps. Another classic of 1980s children's television. This is quite the reminiscecing episode, isn't it? Which is weird because normally you and me were quite sort of on the button cutting edge or the latest pop. We're like Radio 1 or whatever the equivalent of Radio 1 is for young people these days. Something on the internet maybe. The front page of Spotify. Yeah. That's something. Yeah. So we probably don't even know what it is.

No, not enough. We're showing we don't, but willow the wisps. We know about those or corpse lights. They're also, I've not heard that before. Great. Or Jack O'Lanterns. They're seen around Frankfurt mill and middle Aston mill. And, uh, Miss Drake, who lived at Fringford Mill,

recalled when she was a child that her mother was once misled by the corpse lights and nearly fell into a stream. That doesn't sound that bad. How deep a stream are we talking? It was a mill stream, so it could have been quite deep. Yeah, they can get a, get up a fair pace. Should we explain what will of the wisps are? I assume they're widely known. I've got entities. I've got an explanation in a little guy in a field guide to the little people. Of course. I forgot that you had the hand buff.

They are phosphorant frames or lights seen in swamps and other deserted places that have long puzzled scientists. Do you, do you want to stand in for a puzzled scientist there, Alistair? What's the current sort of- It just doesn't make any sense. There's no scientific explanation at all. What is it? Some sort of gas coming out of the ground that's somehow igniting?

Yeah, it's like marsh gas, isn't it? I thought it did have an explanation. Some kind of phosphorescent gas. This book, by the way, is so old, it costs 95p, it costs 95p new. That's the, yeah, when you buy books secondhand from that era, they've gone up in price massively. The best investment in the world buying books in the late seventies. Yeah, and sell them to me.

And this is, this edition is 78. Exactly. And it's one of them books that's got adverts for other books at the back. Nice. Unsurprisingly. If you enjoyed this, you might enjoy Jonathan Trouser's guide to cycling. It's always some person you've never heard of and some dull hobby. There's Tony Soper, Wildlife Begins at Home.

That's exactly, you're reading it from the book. That's exactly the same as the thing I just made up. Well, Alistair, there's one more racy one, The Art of Kissing by Hugh Morris. I am immediately skeptical of Hugh Morris. What does he know? Before the sexual revolution, ushered in this liberated age, rights of courtship included the formal act of osculation. I don't know if we have to bleep that.

Originally published in 1936, this book expounds on this ancient ritual, why people kiss. Naughty kissing! Naughty kissing! Preparing for a kiss! Naughty kissing! And this is the late 70s, so that probably was very naughty. Preparing for a kiss, how to put variety into your kisses. You'll come away from this book with a few winsome thoughts on how far

liberation has really taken us. Oh, wow. Yeah. You want to, you want to kiss like a, like a revel with a different flavor every time. You want to confuse and baffle the kissy. And do you remember Anthony Hipsley Cox? I recognize that name. He wrote one of the classic 70s haunted Britain books that's kind of like a travel guide to haunted Britain.

Well, he teamed up with Araminta Hipsley Cox to write The Book of the Sausage. Carso, maybe it is quite sexy. The incredible history of the sausage. Before feminism ruined sausages, we all enjoyed how amusing they were. Well, the naughty sausages. Preparing for sausage. Now, it's the incredible history of the sausage from ancient Rome to the succulent seventies, the A to Z of the sausage, from Alpenkluber to Zampone, the gastronomes geography of the

sausage, the arts of complete do-it-yourself sausage making. Look, if I'd said, when I was saying a guide to cycling, if I'd said a gastronomes geography of the sausage, you would have said, no, that's a ridiculous riff, that's too implausible. Do something more realistic, like cycling. What happens in that book about sausages? Does it tell you how to serve and enjoy the banger, plus a guide to drinking with sausages? So, folk belief has been able to explain Willow the Wisp for many years. They're no ordinary lights. They're ones that show us Elfland, flashing from its borders as lightning before a storm. Many humans find these lights hypnotizing and will follow them wherever they lead, into bogs and marshes or over cliffs.

So it says the flames are not elves, but lights carried by elves. The elves are animated by the souls of men, women and children. So They're closer to being ghosts than any other elves. So in Russia, they are unbaptized children that have died. And English and Scottish spunkies, they're called. They're also the souls of unbaptized children. They are also the souls of boundary stone movers, userers and swindlers. Can become Willow the Wisps in England. People used to hate userers so much in those days.

And boundary movers. I don't know, what is that? That's literally someone who moves a boundary stone. It says, I guess it was really important before Google Maps. People get very upset if you move your garden wall into their garden. So is it that? Yeah, I guess it is. In Sweden, the Ligteminn are the souls of landmark movies.

So again in a completely accurate Swedish accent? Ligteminn. Oh, it's like being in Sweden. Wow. It's like being in Sweden with, oh, what's his name? You know, staring into the darkness. You see the Willow the Whips. This is going to be annoying for Joe because he'll be able to remember.

Come on. He's very famous. Yeah, I know who you mean. The classic one with the hat. He's in Star Wars, would you believe? He's in The Mandalorian. Werner Herzog. Werner Herzog.

When the Willows show themselves at sea, they're called St. Elmo's Fire. No funny voice for that. No obvious voice brings to mind for St. Elmo's Fire. Was it, would it be an eighties Brat Pack voice? I was going to do Elmo, but. Oh yeah.

Why, why the Brat Pack? Didn't they do a film called St. Elmo's Fire? Wasn't that one of the Brat Pack movies? Not directed by Verner Herzog. Probably not. So there's Tickle called St. Elmo's Fire? Wasn't that one of the Brat Pack movies? Not directed by Werner Herzog. Probably not. So there's Tickle Me St. Elmo's Fire. It's a song as well, isn't it?

I only know of it as a type of lightning that hovers around the masts of ships. Yes. In Scotland, the nimble men are the merry dancers. So I'm doing all the accents. Yeah, that's great. In France, the chevrois dancing it or dancing goats. That's what the Will of the Wisps are called. That sounds like a band and a song. Hey, hey men.

Kit with the can stick, Jack O'Lanthorn, Joan in the ward and Hobbani's Llanthorn. The Will of the Wisps are known throughout Europe and can be met on sea or land. They most often show themselves in late summer, autumn and winter and they prefer to live in damp places such as swamps on moors or in the vicinity of graveyards. They're rarely seen when the weather is sunny but often on heavy overcast days. That is what the field guide to little people has to offer. But these ones near Fringford Mill are kind of deadly. They're red lights and they resemble little gnomes about three feet high, who looked as though their lower legs were concealed in grass and they bob up and down, emitting a singing sound.

Ooh, I like that. They'll come within a foot or two of the human and then of the human, of human and then bob away again. And apparently in 1972, girls were run over by a car because they'd been following these lights off a grass verge near Frankfurt Mill. Oh, was it your classic two lights, they're following them, they're following them, and then it's a reverse of the, it turns out to be the headlights of a car. They thought it was two little glowing fellas and suddenly to be the headlights of a car. They thought it was two little glowing fellas and suddenly, the headlights of a car.

Oh, maybe. I think, I presume they got away without too severe injuries because the story got out as to what they were doing. It doesn't immediately say, and their widows. Whilst they're widows. Yes. And a shyer horse that was kept in a field near Fringford Mill always trembled with fear whenever the corpse lights would appear.

So we've got the testimony of a horse. Good. And there were a lot of them in 1918 when many people from Fringford died from influenza. And a strange light looking like a man carrying a lantern is called Ginnyburn Tail. And that used to be seen near Ascot under Witchwood. So there's some fairy words. Now, do we want to end with a parable from Ruth El-Tung? Yeah, absolutely.

Why do you say parable? Is there a moral lesson to this tale? I don't know if you can spot it. Okay. Oh, is it quite subtle? Oh yeah. Okay. So this is a story about true John. Because the young people today, the young people, the teens, they don't like subtlety in

their stories. They need the messages and the morals to be clear. I've been told. See if you can find the message here in the story of true John and greedy Jack. I already like greedy Jack better. True John seems a bit uptight. So he's an old man and he had a fruit tree that was the envy of the neighborhood. And he charged a penny a pound for the fruit, but nobody was allowed to buy more than three pounds. And he said that that's because he and his helpers wanted the poor to share it. So that's fair enough. And that seems reasonable.

Seems fairly reasonable. Yeah. There are always crowds of small birds around the tree and at night, hundreds of little lights bobbing around it. And there was a sweet singing and wonderful perfume from the blossom. Now, greedy Jack, he was a farmer. He had fine fruit trees, no lights or singing, and he would shoot any birds that came near his trees.

Okay. All right. That's, that's not great. And one time he shot at true John's tree and the birds pecked at his eyes and his men's eyes, so they fled and his men never came back to work for him. I don't think that's fair. I don't think the men should be attacked for this. They weren't involved. So he bathed his sore eyes in the stream and he returned home and all his

fruit had been hit by shot and fallen to the ground, whereas True John's tree was fine. So Greedy Jack never really prospered. And when True John died, Greedy Jack bought True John's cottage, chopped down the tree, hoping that the lights would move to his trees. However, that night, a weird wind demolished all his trees and the voices from the dancing lights said, True John is gone, gone, gone. And all but one light disappeared and a voice wailed, Greedy Jack, Greedy Jack, we shall never come back.

So I don't know if you can pick a moral out of that. Bit too subtle for me. and a voice whirled, greedy Jack, greedy Jack, we shall never come back. So I don't know if you can pick a, pick a moral out of that. Bit too subtle for me. No, I think that I can see both sides. Yeah. So to the scores, what's your first category James? Naming. Okay.

Yeah. There was some really good names for fairies at the start. I've forgotten them all. Yes. I could read just a selection. River women, mound folk, Nissan and Tomtra. Those sound like cars. Moss people, the Follett's, Polter sprites.

Yeah. I just, something about Polter sprites doesn't sit right with me. Well, it's basically this book is saying that actually a lot of poltergeists are actually Polter sprites. Are they? Are they? Are they? Well, those are all fine. Those are all decent two or three out of five names. The hey-hey men.

Okay, maybe three or four. What really got me going though is the extra books that you can buy from the same publisher at the end. Give me some of those titles again. Remind me of those. Okay. Butter Side Up by Magnus Pyke. Are these real? I can't believe these are real. Butter Side Up by Magnus Pyke.

Yeah. Could we soon be eating dormouse for dinner? Does bread really fall more often, Butter Side Up or Butter Side Down? Britain's most popular scientist asks some not so silly questions and comes up with some very sensible answers. Wow, way to make that premise sound boring. Magnus Pike. The Art of Kissing. The Art of Kissing. The sexiest book ever written. The Art of Kissing. A book from the 30s, republished in the 70s with a caveat that it's a bit old fashioned in the seventies. And obviously, Anthony and Araminta Hipsley Cox's The Book of the Sausage.

Five out of five for The Book of the Sausage. Excellent. Okay then. So second category is supernatural. Well, I actually think this is fairly supernatural. These stories. Okay. Will of the Wisps can be explained. It's just murderous gas. Malevolent gas.

Scientifically as phosphorescent gas, but that doesn't explain little glowing guys walking towards you in the grass, does it? Little red glowing things singing. Doesn't explain the singing. Doesn't explain the singing. Doesn't explain them appearing in a tree. Making fruit good. Yeah. And unlike Poltergeist stories, there's no obvious sort of culprit. There's no obvious person behind the activity.

So I'm, I'm, I'm leaning fairly high. Yes. What do you think? Have you got, is it a four? What do you think? Have you got a four? What do you say? I think at least, at least, at least before there's so many different times. Then James, it is a four because you greedy, greedy Jack, you tried to persuade me to make it more than four.

So four is all you're going to get now. So four. Okay, fine. Next category, corpse lights. Corpse lights? Corpse lights. Yeah, that's a good category. Because we had loads. We had red ones that resembled little gnomes.

Yes. Luring people to their death. Mm-hmm. We had one that carried a lantern called Ginny Burn Tail from Ascot Under Witchwood. There's the farming willows. There is all, I mean, do I need to read them all in their own accents? The... Ligtmin!

Okay, yeah. Fukifutui. Whattot? Fukifutui. Where's that from? Italy. Italy. I'm sorry.

I thought it was Hungarian for a second. What? Italy. In Wales, the. Okay. Just to be clear, I was laughing at James there, not at the Welsh. Yes. The Chevrolet's dancing goods.

Yep. That's France. Elf fire, kit with a can stick. Jack O'Lanton, Joan in the ward and Hoban is lantern. Was that you doing an English accent for the English ones? Yes. It's very good. Thanks. I've been really practicing that one.

It was as if someone who was salt of the earth had just wandered into a radio for play and read those. I'm going to have a cup of tea. It's like being in England with Werner Herzog. Sometimes you look at the tea. Okay. Yeah. Okay. There were a lot of Corpse Lights. There were way more than five. So I guess five is the minimum I can award you for Corpse Lights. There you go. Here it is, James. Emerging from the gloom. Oh, I think I'll follow it.

In the gloaming, in the very gloaming. Where is it leading you? Why? And the final category is respect for the Fay Folk. Right. I mean, what are you going to give me for that there, Alastair? Yeah. Well, I just, if there are any Fay Folk listening, James and I respect you and your ways. It's got to be five out of five for respect, because this is a respectful podcast.

We respect everyone. Apart from teenage vandals. Those bloody teenage vandals. Teenagers with their music devices. We've mildly disrespected Hugh Morris. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We did. Yeah, we did disrespect him a little bit, but he could have been a team. Do we know that he wasn't a teen? He could have been one of the nation's best osculators. I don't think the teens should be kissing at all, no matter how many books they've read

about it. How many books from the 30s? Especially not if they've read a book from the 30s. How many interwar the 30s? Especially not if they've read a book from the 30s. How many interwar books read Kissy? That is the best time to kiss, I say. So I think you'll agree that was very respectful. I think it was, thank you very much. That was ever so respectful.

I think there's a couple of bonus bits come out of that aren't there, which you can access if you go to patreon.com forward slash lawmen pod. Some disrespectful extras. And you can also get access to the Law Folk Discord where you can chat with like minded law folk. It's not a discord in the sense of dissing though. It is a very respectful. And you can also get access to the Lorefolk Discord, where you can chat with like-minded Lorefolk. It's not a Discord in the sense of dissing though, it is a very respectful, ever so respectful forum. Thank you for supporting the podcast.

Support us on there. And thank you very much to Joe for editing this. Yeah, thank you to the fairies. Please don't lure us to our deaths. Thanks. Yes, thanks. Do I need to see Joker? No. I've read the Killing Joke and I didn't like it. No, I mean, it's not even like that one.

It's a bit like, it's like, it is, that's the thing. When they do it in comic books, when they make comic books and graphic novels like films, that's interesting because comic books and graphic novels aren't films. But when they make film versions of those things, it's not very interesting because films are already films. So there's not really No one ever says of a film, oh, it's very cinematic. Yeah, exactly. It was just like a film. Yeah. Yeah, it's a bit meh. And then apparently Joker 2 Folio 2 I've not seen, but apparently. Sorry, I've just not heard anybody pronounce it like that.

And I think I never will hear anyone pronounce it like that ever again.