Loremen Podcast - Loremen S6Ep28 - Edward Mordake and Herne the Hunter

Episode Date: August 7, 2025

Join Alasdair and James in a not-at-all dank Oxford cellar, as part of the Oxford Comedy Festival. The boys meet a hornéd hunter and a two-faced Edward: legends who left the pages of literature and entered the realm of lore. Like a pair of old-school Slendermen. Thanks to Matthew Chadourne and the Oxford Comedy Festival for having us! Watch the video version here: https://youtu.be/IMykate4t9s Join the LoreFolk at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/loremenpod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ko-fi.com/loremen⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Check the sweet, sweet merch here... ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.teepublic.com/stores/loremen-podcast?ref_id=24631⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ @loremenpod ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠youtube.com/loremenpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/loremenpod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.facebook.com/loremenpod⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Lawmen, a podcast about local legends and obscure curiosities from Days of Yore, with me, Alastair Beckett King. And me, James Shakespeare. And it's another live, James. Yes, from Oxford. Yes, deep in the vaults of the Oxford Comedy Festival. In the cellar. Yes, deep in the vaults. And we told two stories that made the leap from fiction to folk-lop. or one h yeah it's a legends of edward mordake and herne the hunter

e Welcome to the Oxford Comedy Festival. Please welcome to this stage, Jim Chick-Shackett and Alastrichter King, the Lorden! Hello, hello people in Oxford. How's it going? Welcome to Lawmen Live at the Oxford Comedy Festival. It is a very warm day.

Let me set the scene for the listener. Yes. We are in Trinity College, and there is a beautifully air-conditioned banqueting. hall and we're not there and we're not allowed in there we're not allowed to look in there we can't even think about it all you guys are committing a crime without thinking about it shouldn't have seen those air conditioning units i was cheating i peaked but we are in the beer cellar i wanted to say keller but there's nothing german about it no no i don't think so it's just a simple seller it's a simple

seller and with a whole lord of lawfolk hello hello lawfolk who here has listened to the podcast law men before. Who has never listened before? That's way too many people. That's 50-50. That's going to kill the vibes. That's really going to kill the vibes.

That is worryingly 50-50. Is it couples that have brought their other halves that don't listen to the podcast and in about 10 minutes they're just going to get evil looks like, this is what you do with your time. This is what you do when you're doing the washing up. Unbelievable. Maybe it's people who hate the podcast who

brought their enemies. Oh, yes, good thinking. Listen to it. Nice work, grudge holders. Anyone here got any grudges? Just me, just me. Just a couple of big ones from me. I've had a very folkloric day.

I don't know about you, James. No, I went on a train. I so did I. But on the train, I saw a doppelganger. For who? For me, obviously. Okay, you have to check. I was about to say, Norman.

but he died, didn't he? So it would just be a ghost. Or a ganger. A ganger. Because there's no longer the doppel. There's no longer the doppel. A single ganger. A uts.

Solo ganger. As opposed to obviously doppel and then Moldo ganger. For the benefit of the people who are new, it's normally better than this. I thought it's exactly like me on the train, basically. And then I came here and the toilets are quite, The gents there are quite folkloric

because one of the taps doesn't work and the other tab works too well. So, feel, beware. Some people are looking at wet shorts. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Should we introduce us, our podcast selves? Let's do that. Yes, okay. Well, welcome to Lawmen.

It's a podcast about local legends and obscure curiosities from Days of Yore. I'm James Shakeshaft. I'm Alistair Beckett King. Woo! It feels like that was a woo just for me there, Jane. Yeah, yeah. Let's check back on the tape, but it didn't know if that was for me.

That was definitely solo woo. Woo! That was just a ghost. Yeah, hello. I was sleepy. Well, take that single woo and edit that in. So it sounds like only one person likes you, James. Yeah.

Yeah. It's not true. It's not true. No. Right. Gangs. Gangs? Gangs?

Of Oxford. Let's just, yeah. Oh no, it's the street. Have we got any street tuffs in? None that are visible from where I'm sitting. I think one hand has been raised rather politely. Yes, I'm a street tough, yes. Are you looking for a ramble?

Well, we've got some stories for you today. These are themed. Which is, and it's not simply geographically themed. These are themed, but what, do you want to introduce it? We're doing things a little bit differently because I was thinking about the lost lawman episode, which I think we've referenced before, where we tried to do a story about the myth of the Angel of Mons or the Archers of Mons, which started out as a story written by Arthur Macon and then turned into a thing that people really believed happened during the First World War. And we tried to do an episode about that, but it turned out to be quite sad because it was about the war.

And so I thought maybe this is the moment and then as the day approached I thought it's still just as sad Yeah, but that war didn't get any funnier Comedy equals tragedy puts time but we still have not had enough time Yeah for the tragedy of the First World War to have got really big belly laughs funny Yeah, although hmm okay, the Boa war on the other hand Billarious war. But that idea, those stories which start out in print are not quite true

and somehow turn into genuine folklore was the starting point for today's story. So... I have just thought of a funny war just to interrupt your flow. It would be 1066 because of all the Normans. It was Malto Norman. Malto Norman. Moldo Norman. Not enough time

No, a thousand years is not enough time Still not enough time Apologies to the Normans in Which is one of the more infamous Of Oxford street gangs Sorry, I really ruined your flow for that And it wasn't worth it It was good, it was worth it

Who remembers fun facts I'm sorry, I was really expecting more for that I don't... Are you pronouncing it Are you pronouncing what I think you're pronouncing? Are you pronouncing an X? Yes. Fun facts.

Fun facts. Sorry, is it really just me and three dweets? Who remembers Philofax? Of course, yuppie old Oxford. Yes. In the 80s and maybe in the 90s, the coolest thing a yuppie could have was a file of facts,

which is a little, like a small ring binder before we had phones. Yeah, imagine a mobile phone, but it's a little booklet. Yes. And it can't go on the internet. Well, a fun fact was a version of that for kids. And I had one, and I had to despise one.

Really? Yeah, so I'm sorry. Chelless. You can get these on eBay. They're not that expensive. They're great. And if you had, as I really thought most of you would have, had. We have misjudged our audience.

I forgot they were all street tufts. What was that thing? Have you ever had a chain with a brick tied to it? It's quite an absurd. Yeah. No, they had the tough facts, which was a brick. Well, like, facts of life on the street. That is the certificate that you get from the School of Hard Knocks.

Is it? Yeah, it comes in a tough fax. Well, if you had the fun... I didn't expect the intro to take this long. If you had the fun facts horror book, which I read through it earlier today and is seriously just grotesque and full of... genuine murders cases and really, really appalling stuff. If you had the fun facts horror,

you might be familiar with the tale of Edward Mordake, sometimes called Edward Mordrake wrongly. However, Edward Mordake is also supposedly a pseudonym, so either way. It doesn't matter too much. The name also might ring a bell if you're a fan of the musician Tom Waits or the other musician's neutral milk hotel. No? I can't say that on them without thinking there's a cartoonist Tommy Siegel who created a D&D alignment chart

with true neutral milk hotel in the middle awful evil milk hotel and chaotic that's just somebody else's joke that I saw on the internet but I'm glad you all laughed here. My jokes about it are less good. All I've got is Howard Zinn's quote we can't afford to be neutral on a moving milk hotel.

And it does, the more I read it, it sounds like a what, three words? I look to know, it's on Prince Charles Island in the Northwest Passage. That's where a neutral milk hotel is. It's on Prince Charles' Northwest Passage. It is. They said it couldn't be found. That was quite a good, the terror joke, though, I think.

Yeah, I think so, I think so. Anyway. Do it again, because I talk. walked over it, do it again for the record. No, you said it, you said it can be found. It's the same joke. Oh, it's just the same joke. Well, let's do both of them.

Let's do both of them and then we'll pick. Okay, my punchline, it can't be found. I'll just leave it that. Yeah, all right. I looked up other bands, what three words, by the way. Electric Light Orchestra is in South Korea. And I couldn't find ones that worked after that. Alien Ants Farm is in, not Ant, Ants Farm is in Northern California.

And rather weakly, in Newcastle-under-Lyme, you might find pine-inch nails. That's fucking do you. It's pine-inch nails. But if you, if you recognize the Tom White song, Poor Edward, or the neutral milk hotel, Two-Headed Boy! Now usually when I sing on this podcast It's a bad impression of what the song sounds like In the case of neutral milk hotel

That was slightly better than the actual track I'm just checking we're not getting struck on YouTube You can't actually play the song It did sound like that Fun Facts The Fun Facts reports The True Story of Rich Englishman Edward Mordeck

Who was blighted with a second face Which grew from the back of his own skull I'm just demonstrated this so people on this man see where the skull was there on James now Edward's story can be traced back to the medical textbook

anomalies and curiosities of medicine from 1896 by doctors Gould and Pyle but some people including the American folklorist Paul G. Brewster trying to find the actual source for it which was the Boston Post

Sunday 8th of December 1885 with this headline, James, which I thought we might try and read in a Boston accent. Which is a notoriously hard accent to do if you're British. The wonders of modern science.

Some half human monster once thought to be the devil's brood. Oh, yeah, that's good. Wicked smart. How do you like them apples? Hey, do you like apples? The wonders of modern science, anyway. The wonders, yeah, that's what I do.

I translate that into English. The wonders are modern science. Some half-human monsters once thought to be of the devil's brood. And I will, I'm already not in that accent. I'm going to read the full account of Edward Mordecake, or almost the full account, because it's quite good, quite interesting. One of the weirdest, as well as most melancholy stories of human deformity, is that of Edward Mordeck said to have been aired to one of the most,

noblest peerages in England. He never claimed the title, however, and committed suicide in his 23rd year. He lived in complete seclusion, refusing the visits even of the members of his own family. He was a young man of fine attainments, a profound scholar, and a musician of rare ability. His figure was remarkable for its grace and his face, that is to say, his natural face. So of saying, oh, is this guy Got him another face? Was that of an antinus?

Finally, we're in Oxford, I can check. Did I pronounce that correctly? Antinus, Antinus? Yeah. Have you all been bused in from somewhere else? But upon the back of his head was another face. That of a beautiful girl, lovely as a dream, hideous as a devil.

The female face was a mere mask, occupying only a small portion of the posterior part of the skull, and yet exhibiting every sign of intelligence of a malignant sort, however. It would be seen to smile and sneer while Mordeca was weeping. The eyes would follow the movements of the spectator, and the lips would gibber without ceasing. No voice was audible, but Mordeca averred that he was kept from his rest at night by the hateful whispers of his devil twin. Yeah, it's creepy, creepy still. So when he laughs, when he cries, it lasts.

Yeah, it's having a word of a time, it loves it. But imagine being sat behind him at the cinema. For the face, it was just comedy equals tragedy. There was no plus time. No, and yeah, just going to see like something sad, like that one with the dog. You, me and Dupree? No. Marley and me.

Marley and me and Dupree. Does Dupree die at the end of that? I think they put him down. Very sad. Is it Owen Wilson? Yeah, I think they kill Owen Wilson at the end of that thumb. Because he bit someone. Now, that was written by Charles Loughton Hildreth,

and it might have behooved or even beclored. That would make sense at the moment. It might have behooved Gould and Pyle to look at some of the other cases mentioned in that article of the wonders of modern science. They include the melon child of Radnor, who was a melon, as far as I can tell. And not a child.

A melon with a very small mouth and no other features. The fishwoman of Lincoln, the four-eyed man of Crickledale, they were on top of his other eyes vertically. Oh, that's confusing. And James, perhaps you could describe the illustration accompanies the next one. Oh. The Norfolk spider.

Now this looks like this would be a melon boy. It's a very round spider. It's a very round spider with six legs, so that's inaccurate. And a really grumpy face. Ever so sad. Also, crucially, a human's face. Oh, yeah, sorry, a human's face. Including a moustache, I think.

Yeah, but it's got cheekbones. Very, very nice cheekbones. Yeah. That was the Norfolk spider, which was, according to the article, in all respects of spider, except for its human head. But small. Well, I'm not sure. To sky.

Oh, it's smaller than the spider. The head is smaller than the rest of the spider, but I think the spider is large. Oh, the spider's body is as big as a person. I think so, which is why it's, I would mention the size, because it says it had been known to seize upon and devour the better part of a dog. dog. Now, what is the better part of the... Is that like the side for patting? Because the mouth's pretty mucky.

The phrase the dog means the best bit. That does, doesn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. As a spider, it would make sense to start at the bottom and work up on the dog. Yeah, it would, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I expect if it's webbed to sum up,

anything that's... Loose. It's fair game. Yeah, you're asking for it, really, aren't you? We're in the Norfolk spiders around. And finally, there were several other human marvels. There's this one, half human, half crab. Oh, half human crab, simply.

Really, I've described it to you quite well. It looks like a bad sketch of me in a wig with big crab claws, sat on a rock. That is exactly what it is a drawing of. The half-human cat, crab, was born to disreputable parents. Couldn't speak, but just ate bread with its claws. Classic crab stuff. And just sort of wailed on the rocks.

So the subtitle for this piece was Marvel's Almost Beyond Belief. And I think it's obvious. We're not quite there yet with the MCU, but I don't think we're far off it. I essentially, none of this is true. What poet, Charles? If they had looked up who Charles Loewton-Hildreth was, they would have seen that he was a poet and a novelist with a gothic sensibility.

I don't think there is any truth to this. None of these are real people. And it's kind of awkward, because in the modern day, we wouldn't want to stigmatize disability or make fun of people who were born looking different to other people. But in the 1890s, they really did want to do that.

They absolutely went to town doing that. And this is a final. example of that. But they didn't have cinema, so they've got to do something. You know, like, you'll believe a man. I mean, strictly speaking, the 1890s was they did start to invent motion pictures

there, so... Okay, fair enough. They didn't have Netflix. They didn't have your Netflix's and your Xboxes, that's true. So you've got to go around imagining a giant spider's eating the best parts of a dog?

So that's the story of Edward Mordake, not Mordrake, and the Tom Waits' song, poor Edward. Ah, that's the one. That's the one. Which I will now also sing. No?

No. I'm not going to. Did you hear the new life? Oh, another face. I'm surprised at how well it's going. That is good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We've been demonetized.

Yeah. well i've got oh another story um which is a bit of legend which seemingly comes from a fiction but it has become legend it am become legend like the film um like the film itam become legend it can become legend yes it's do you know Windsor the place is a big castle big castle there guy with the gold hat lives there oh yeah yeah his mum lives there before it's Windsor where Windsor Castle is yes

and there there is a park which is called Windsor Grey Park and there is a tale of Hearn the Hunter Have you heard of Herne the Hunter? Some have, some have a her and the hunter. Nothing for Antinus before, for everything. We've all heard of Hearn the Hunter. Hearn the Hunter. Heard and the Hunter.

Heard and the Hunter. Yeah, he, he slash it was, is there sort of a beast that lives in the Great Park. And it's a sort of a giant person with big horns coming out his head. And he sometimes he rides around on a horse and he rattles chains. Sounds very metal. Yeah. It made him sound like an Oxford tough But he ruttles chains

He makes cow's milk turn to blood Oh Yeah It's pretty hard In the fridge or in the cow Great question I think it's When it happens is

I mean it's disgusting either way But how disgusting it is really depends on when it turns into blood It's it's I think it's out the cow Oh Yeah Yeah

Yeah it's bad He's a bad guy. And he is often attributed to being the ghost of maybe a poacher or maybe someone who worked for the monarch at the time. It's attributed to a bunch of different monarchs, including, but not limited to. Lizzie one and Richard two and Henry eight. Of those three, Richard II is the rubbishest. right? Nobody knows anything

about Richard the second. Oh, he was bad. He was bad according to Shakespeare. That's Richard the third. No, and Richard the second also bad. And I've come up with different names. So we've got Lizzie one, and the thing about her is she doesn't actually have Elizabeth in her name.

She was actually originally called First Blood. And Richard was actually Richard First Blood Part 2. Or two Richard, too, too furious. Whichever you'd rather. Henry the 8th was Henry, but the E was an 8. I thought they went back and made it raiders of the lost, Henry. The thing is, this story comes from Shakespeare. The oldest version of The Her and the Hunter Tale is in The Merry Wives of Windsor,

which is credited with being one of Shakespeare's worst plays. Even he thought it was rubbish. Really? What did he say about it? Nothing. He didn't say anything about anything. Really? I thought you were setting it. you get the vibe he didn't really like it because it's basically it was a spin-off sequel

to Henry the 4th part 1 because Queen Elizabeth sorry Queen Elizabeth First Blood saw Henry the 4th part 1 and liked the character of false staff so is this this this is this is the false staff

cinematic universe this is Shakespeare presents Hobbs and Shaw for the Fast and the Furious fans which is more than I expected of I've seen Orson Wells's Folstaff film what's it called Chimes at Midnight?

What's that? Chimes at Midnights Yeah so what he did was he took the body of work and was like in an Austin Wells kind of way was like what if the guy who sounds exactly like me was the main character basically no one else is in the film and it's very good but it's all about false staff.

Occasionally a king pop's in now and again. Well, I think Mary... Geer Good, I think. Lies the King. Well, I think Mary Wives of Windsor was actually, they did that, basically. Yeah, so I think it's based on that and Henry the fourth. Part one, part two, and Henry Five. Is a mixture of them.

Oh, yeah. Henry Five, the quickening. And basically, the story of Mary Wives of Windsor is, in the end, hilariously, all the noblemen are tricked into marriage. their page boys hilarious false stuff gets a bunch of tricks played on him he is tricked into hiding in some smelly laundry and getting dumped in a river to fair that's really good dressing as funny is he gets tricked into dressing as an obese aunt who the other people pretend to confuse with a witch and beat up

No, it's me, your friend, Falstaff. And in the end, the big finish is they trick him into dressing as Herm the Hunter in Windsor Forest, and then they dress as fairies and pinch him. 90% of this is cancelable now. Unacceptable workplace behaviours these days. The thing that they did

that is probably less cancelable now what would have been cancelable at the time, probably? I don't know. The horns on his head, which at the time would have been hilarious because it would have symbolized him as being a cuckold. Cucal. Yes, a phrase that means nothing to us nowadays.

But in those days, everyone would have understood that. Exactly. And so they describe Hand the Hunter in Shakespeare. So we've got a Shakespearean description of a cryptid because it's since gone on to become. accruptives we'll get we'll get into that um so now brian blessed so can i just want my cook down to start rubbing my hands together played full stuff so i'm going to do this bit of shakespeare in the style of brian blessed

there's anyone here who's frightened by loud people you're in for a terror ring um He's alive. He's alive. There is an old tale goes that hern the hunter, sometime a keeper here in Windsor Forest, doth all the wintertime at still midnight, walk round about an oak with great ragged horns. And there he blasts the tree.

and takes the cattle and makes milk kine yield blood and shakes a chain in a most hideous and dreadful manner. With a brick on the end. Yes, yes. He's a street. He's in Oxford heavy. That was Brian Blessed playing me. That was actual Brian Blessed.

It's demonetized. It's demonetized as much like Brian Blessed. Unfortunately. By the way, that was really good. So a round of applause that we will let us in. Yes, yes, yes. And in another version, her and the hunter is described a bit further by Shakespeare.

Often have you heard since Horn the Hunter died that women, to affright their little children, says that he walks in the shape of a great staggy. Horn the Hunter. There is called Horn the Hunter. That is what people think is related to the real person that it could be, because there was a real guy called Richard Horn, which makes me think that is not a real guy.

What could be funny about that name, James? Who was a poacher who was caught by Haytnery. Henry the 8th. He was a yeoman who was caught poaching by Henry VIII. A yeoman, for those of those who don't know, is between a peasant and a gentry, not a hype man. Or a yes man who thinks he's cool. Yo man.

There's other tales that have sprung up. A sundial. Yeah, he would. Yes, you were. Or an out, yeah, yeah, he was simply a sundial. yeah so there's other tales that have come up to since this Shakespeare version because it kind of sounds like

he was already a myth but it's never mentioned nobody mentioned him until it's not mentioned at all but nobody mentioned bubbles until Shakespeare well maybe Shakespeare invented bubbles do you mean Michael Jackson's monkey is he in Hamlet there's no mentioning it before Shakespeare now

since then though other tales have come up that is someone who fears he's going to lose his job and he's hanged from a very particular oak in chains and this causes the trees to wither and can bewitch the cattle. There's an 19th century variant which he was like a compatriot to one of the monarchs and a stag was coming at that monarch

and he like threw himself in the way like a, you know, like a bodyguard in a in the film. He slow moed himself in front of the, he took a stag for the king. Actually, you went, Yo! Got gourd, and the king was like, oh no, and then the devil comes up and says,

hmm, I can make him live. But at a price. It's shame he wasn't wearing a stag-proof vest. That's nice. That's nice. He got hit by a stag. Yeah. In a bodyguard situation.

What do you want from me? That was actually really good. I think they sensed that I was nervous. us about it and they pounced they did and one and the payment is that he has to have horns on his head and it's so like blights his life that he just has a really sad time and dies and becomes a ghost this is very goff and then even to this day being the late 20th century um which is 25 years ago now um i'm not sure about that herne is seen someone check herne is seen before natural before national disasters and it says it all deaths of monarchs but i'm no royalist expert but i don't think any

monarchs died in the latter half of the 20th century not on my watch and then you had that hold it a few years ago didn't you yeah term a watch off she died yeah um and he's also could be the leader of the wild hunt or a celtic a celtic and la Antelard God called Kununus Which sounds Sounds like a fun euphemism Kununus, Lord of the Wild

Things Which is like a It's like a statue A carving of a head They found in some Roman bit of Paris Wow Yeah and so that's the tale Of how a Shakespeare

invented, accrupted A Shakespeare Yeah So if a Shakespeare can do it any of you can. Maybe you're inventor cryptid in your life. Try yourselves.

Just get some animals and sort of squidge them together in your imagination. I went a bit Neil Buchanan there, didn't I? Did. Why not? Invected a cryptid. That was Neil Buchanan.

And then we want to cut to the overhead shot where it's been, he's done it. He's arranged all of the audience in this shape of a cryptid. He's arranged some bits of dead. animal together oh no call the police this is inappropriate this isn't a kid's show yeah um so yeah those are the those are the uh tales so we need to we need to score these we do we need to score these and we don't normally or both tell the story so these folks need to score us yes

are tales of lies that became myths, I suppose. We're going to come to you for a category, for a chate degree. Should we do... We might score quite low on supernatural, bearing in mind that the stories were made up. But think about the size of the spider. The head looked quite small on the spider. So it's a big body.

It was like, imagine a mini with six legs and a human head on the front. A mini car, I mean. And the guy with the thing on the face on the back of his head. Yeah, very, very. spooky. It's spooky, right? Her and the Hunter, it's a big old cryptid. So what do you say for Supernatural?

Come on, will we talk to five? Or do we want to vote it up or vote it down? It sounds like they're not going for five. They think it's five? Just this one person. Four. One. Okay.

Two. Three. Okay, it's a three. Okay, it's a three. Now then These You're going to need to vote This second category

Naming Out of five We'll give you the options Who We had some good names right We had to find names The Melanchild of Radnor Need I go on

Richard Horn Pine Inch Nails Wonderful Okay then So let's just start at three, because I don't think you're going under three, right? Three, four. Oh, James is so tense. Let me just check.

One. Good. Five. Woo! Wonderful work. So we need, we're going to have one more. We need to, we'll have, we'll do some work and we'll come up with one, but we're going to need a category one.

Does anyone have a suggestion for a category? Yes, none of these. human oddities human oddities also a phrase that goes in a different Tom White's song if anyone is interested

oh stag do stag do oh that's good you're like her you nice you're right hen you so what

is that like you're okay hun you're okay hun can we tweak can we nick it and tweak it to say you're okay hen yeah that's really good

but then I did like stag do we can do both but then just we're not really scoring my category? I'm sure that one of them must have been a bit of a

stag in some way. Probably, yeah. Stag Beetle, maybe you wouldn't want to go on a stag do with, let's go with stag two, yeah, we'll go

with stag two, because you wouldn't want to go on a stag do with Mordeak, would you? No, but I have a feeling the head would be an absolute riot. It depends. It'd be great on a stag two.

Because he'd be crying, he's not enjoying himself and she'd be... Yeah, she'd have those glow sticks, probably. Yeah. I think she'd have been on a stag two.

I don't know what happens. Is that out of this? There's less glow sticks. There's not, there are glows? Most stag-dos, yes. But I've never been on a stag-do with someone that had a human face on the back of their face. Never been on a stag-dew with a demon twin.

No. Maybe. Or maybe I have, actually. No. So let's do U.O.K. Hearn. You-O.K. Hearn, yes. So what is the third category, James, from volunteered by someone in the room?

It's U. Okay, Hearn. Now, please react as if you haven't heard that before. Nice. Very good. Who suggested that? I can't see. It was Mike.

Is it Mike? Thanks. Mike of the Ox Files. The Ox Files and the Veiled Vail. Yes, and the veiled veil. Previous contributed. Previously on Lawmen. So this is for, yeah.

You're okay. It's Mike who you will be criticizing if you don't give this five. Yes. The category is, you okay, Hearn. Yes. What do we think? Two. Good.

Three. No. Four. One. Five. Yes, nice one. Well done. Thank you, Mike.

That's excellent. And what's your final category? What's the final category, James? It is stagdo. Okay, that's got a lot of enthusiasm from the audience who thought. of it so good yes yes yes this is a slight bias here yes so so defend that category for me at second james because my story didn't really have any stag-dos in it no so it feels like we're sort of saying your story was better yes right well i'm glad you've cleared that up no i think you were

put it into a vote i think your bunch of reprobates would be quite fun on a stag do it would be yeah They'd be absolute legends. Norfolk Spider. If you, you know, at the end of the night, you're feeling a bit peckish. You've got the best part of a dog. And sometimes people put shots into a melon, don't they? Yeah, you can do that.

So you can do that. A melon child of Radnor, although it was a baby. Yeah, you shouldn't do that. You shouldn't do that. You shouldn't turn a child into a melon drink. And after... Some people probably have got crabs from Stagdos. Oh, yes.

Half you and half crab, that kind of works. That's good for awareness, yeah. Yeah. And obviously, her and hunter, big old stag, which is laughable if you are Elizabethan. Very funny. It's really ever so funny. So, what do we think, audience?

We're going to go, I'm just going to check it's not a one, first of all, come on. For stag do. For stag do. Two, three, four, five. Oh, what? Takes out the person who said yes on four. Yeah.

Nobody agrees with you. It was five. We're not here for realism. Thank you very much. Very generous with you. That was very kind. I don't think you should be so. No, no, we are so.

We are sorry. We are sorry in a way. So then. Thank you so much for coming out to the Oxford Comedy Festival. Thank you for. Thank you very much for having us the Oxford Comedy Festival.

Thanks for coming to see us. Thank you very much, Lord. Thank you very much. An amazing lack of response for fun facts there. I think the listener will agree. Ridiculous. I want that horror one. How has nobody heard of fun facts?

I think it's because they thought you were saying fun facts. Anyway, shout out to Matthew Chaddon and the Oxford Comedy Festival. Thank you for having us. And thank you to all the law. who came. Yes. And the non-lawfolk who looked really confused. Yeah, those street tuffs. And for bonus material, such as the fun game we played of find the context to the no context, there's a clip of it after the end of this music. Please join us at patreon.com forward slash lawmenpod.

Forward slash lawmen pod. And thank you very much to all the law folk who already do support our endeavors. So there is an Instagram account called No Context Lawmen, pot, which came about because I complained about the fact that there was one for James's other podcast for all concerns and that we didn't have one. And a kindly listener has created it. So thank you. I am now no longer envious.

Thank you. No context law folk. I mean, lawmen. No context lawmen. I thought it'd be fun to go through some of the no context lines. Right. I tried to guess which one of us said it. And if anyone can remember what episode it was

or what the context was. The context for the no context? You've got to get context on this no context. Have I explained the premise clearly enough? Yeah, I think so. We're going to try to recontextualise the no context woman as well as guess who said that. Yes.

And the first one is, I'm sorry I ruined that with pedantry. The record show James is pointing at me. Yes.