Loremen Podcast - Loremen S6Ep36 - The Little Man in the Red Cap

Episode Date: October 9, 2025

Are the paths of Wiltshire stalked by a pagan deity in disguise? Usually on Loremen we recount tales that are seldom told, but this week is different. The legend of the Peaked Red One was, in fact, told by James and Alasdair at the Strange Days Festival of Forteana. But the sound quality was a bit bobbins, so we told our stories again, and here they are! There's ghosts, treasure and a little man with a pet trout. See the ⁠⁠Loremen LIVE in London on Oct 15th⁠⁠. This episode was edited by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Joseph Burrows - Audio Editor⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Join the LoreFolk at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/loremenpod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ko-fi.com/loremen⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Check the sweet, sweet merch here... ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.teepublic.com/stores/loremen-podcast?ref_id=24631⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ @loremenpod ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠youtube.com/loremenpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/loremenpod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.facebook.com/loremenpod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Lawmen, a podcast about local legends and obscure curiosities from Days of Yore. I'm James Shakeshaft. I'm Alastair. And Alistair, we went to the Strange Days Festival of Fortiana. Or did we? You just don't know. No. You never can tell. And you'll never guess what, we told some stories.

And we're just going to tell him again now. going to tell them again, but with better sound quality. Yes, much better sound quality. So these might be a little familiar if you are one of the ten law folk that came to see us. Thank you very much. Join us as we go down a little Wiltshire country lane to the town of all cannings. Now then, Alistair. Yes, James.

We're in a bit of a different situation here today because I'm going to tell you some stories that the eagle-minded? Minded? The eagle-minded listeners? The eagle ticket-holded to a recent festival will know that I already told you them because I already told you these stories

at the Strange Jays Festival of Fortiana. Thank you very much to the law folk that came. And what happened was, I told you some stories in a sort of campfirey setting. However, given the fact it was half one in the morning, at was technically a festival, it was quite loosey-goosey. There was some looseness and some gooseness, yes, I recall.

There was loose geese. There was mucky ducks. It was a lot going on. Thank you very much to everyone who came, and we had a really fun time. I've listened back to the recording. How is it, James? It's chaotic.

It's certainly chaotic. If you want to check out some other bits of the recording, the Quantum Mechanics have put it up as a recent episode. We'll put the whole bootleg out on the Patreon, at patreon.com forward slash lawmen pod. You get the feel of the live experience. If you sit outside and listen to it with your eyes closed, it's like you were really there, but with your eyes closed.

Yeah. Yeah, can I tell you again, some of the legends of all cannings. Yes, you may, James. Which on the night are referred to as all canings. Because we were at a music, first of all. Yeah. Well, we were so music. We listened to Henge.

Oh, I loved them. I really did. And Paddy Steer, the night before, barmey, but I absolutely loved it. And Crab. Of course, Crabb, who could forget. Crab and the, and then the other people that I have actually forgotten the names of. And all the rest, yeah. I think I genuinely had to introduce two bands.

One was called like patio fabrication, and the other was called like. These are great names. I know I'm laughing, but that's a great name. And the other one was called like the neon flooring or something. They both sounded like two different. Yeah, they're both sections in home base. Yes. Yeah, they both sounded like options for your kitchen.

Absolutely, that's brilliant. These are the tales of all cannings. So, Alistair, all cannings, just to paint a picture. It's a little village near the centre, the museum almost, of crops. There's a little building, which is the Museum of Crop Circles, because this is banging Crop Circle territory. Ground Zero for Crop Circles. Yeah. This is where they came from, basically.

Apart from, obviously, there are the very old tales. There's the Mowing Devil from the 1600s, which we'll cover at some point on the pod. I certainly had a chat about Crop Circles with somebody at the festival, because they were talking about crop circles. And I was like, yeah, it was people doing it. And they gave me a look like, oh, is it? Oh, really? Yeah, because apparently the consensus has not reached

absolutely everyone, but it was just people doing it. There was someone I knew there at that festival who is one of the people that did crop circles. We could have just introduced them and been like, it is people doing it. It's this guy. I think the person I was talking to,

they implied that people were claiming to do more crop circles than they actually had. So, taking credit for the aliens work. Yes. Yes. There are some people, I think the, so as far as I understand, the sort of the thought process of crop circles has been, first of all, aliens did it. And then everyone who had actually done it admitted to it. We opened with aliens. Yeah. We opened with, no, that was aliens. First act, aliens. Alien. Second act. And then just like bored people in the West Country was our second choice.

Yeah, it was. Third act, it was aliens thought controlling people from the West country who were bored. to make crop circles for, I think the reason is to hide the real ones by making loads of fake ones. Like a needle in a haystack, like a made of actual hay in this case. Like a haystack in a big pile of larger haystacks. But they're fake. Yeah, they aren't real. Yes, that's what I think. Makes sense when you think about it.

It does if you think about it at a festival at one in the morning. Yeah, at the time, the guy was talking to. me. It seems like in no sense. But in this village, there aren't any, none of these stories involve crop circles. The first story, though, involves the old rectory, which is haunted by the ghost of Elizabeth Binge, B-Y-N-G-E. Could be Bing, could be Bingy. They're all great though, aren't they? That's the thing. I love binge. I think it's probably Bing. Bing. As in Chandler. That's not how he spelt it, right?

No, he didn't spell it binger, like a medieval guy. But I'm sure that's how Chandler's ancestors would have spelted. Chancesters. She was the wife of the Reverend Robert Bing, Bobby Bing. So we've got Lizzie Bing and Bobby Bing, and the Reverend built the property in 1645. So it's pretty old, pretty old. And this ghost is referred to as a grey lady. and one witness describes her as a ghost with the sweetest of faces.

And I think I should cite our sources for this one. It is Ghosts of Wilcher by Fiend of the Show. No, by friend of the show, Peter Underwood. Mr. President of the Ghost Club Society. Lifetime president and potentially death time president. Grand High president. of the ghost society. We don't know.

So is that a case of a sort of back-handed compliment being like, hasn't she got a lovely face, that ghost? That ghost. Is that what's being said there? I don't know. Yeah. Why when someone compliments your personality or sense of humour? I got a lot of compliments about my hair.

Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. Is it like she's the ghost with the sweetest of faces, as in you imagine most ghosts to be ghoulish? So it's kind of like The least ghoulish face That this person had seen James, you're really eroding the quality

Of that already backhanded compliment Sorry, Lizzie Bing What had happened to her Is her and her three sons Could she be any more offended? Sorry, I was just waiting for an opportunity to say that Could her face be any sweeter? So she was thrown out of the rectory by

She was thrown out of the rectory by Cromwell's men So not long after it was built basically, because that was around the sort of mid-1600s, but her ghost returned and many witnesses claimed to have seen her going along an upstairs corridor, going in at least two bedrooms, going down a long-removed spiral staircase, which wouldn't be quite fun to see, to be perfectly honest. So she's just spiraling around and around and around and around on a staircase that isn't there.

Like a sort of one of those helicopter seeds. but a ghost with a sweet face. Do you know what I mean when I say helicopter seeds? Yeah, yes. If I was a child, I could tell you what tree they came from, but now I can't remember. Children are good with trees, aren't they? Oh, they know all about trees, children.

They can spot a conquetry a mile away. So Mrs. Margaret Tisdale. Oh, no, sorry, Miss Margaret Tisdale. Oh, she's available, listener. Well, she's the daughter of a vicar. The Reverend C.W. St. Clair Tisdale. No. Same noise.

Yeah, it's the same. noise for that reverent. I'm the Reverend C.W. St. Clair Disdale. He sounds like he would offer you a mint on a train in the 19th century. That's nice. That's nice improvement. So she, Miss, Miss Margaret Tisdale, saw the ghost with a friend and they saw, they just saw it. So I guess either doing the, along the corridor, visiting the bedrooms, or spiraling down the spiral staircase that wasn't there anymore. Another vicar-adjacent lady, Mrs Mould, the wife of Reverend W-D-E-Mould. What? W-D-E-Mould?

W-D-E-Mold. Not actually a lubricant. So people say use it as a lubricant, but you should never actually use it as a lubricant. You cannot use this vicar as a lubricant. Other vicar as you can. C.W. St. Clearties, Dale. Extremely oleogenous. Yes.

If you've got a sore throat, you'd, He'll offer you a suite in the 19th century. So young Miss Mould. So Mrs Mould, the wife of the Reverend W.D.E. Mould. Mrs. Mold. Sorry. She's not available, listeners. Saw the ghost. A visiting doctor saw the ghost could hardly believe his eyes, apparently.

Two clergymen friends of the Molds, and possibly Philip Green, the son of another later rector, had all been, at some point, awakened one night to see a grey figure standing at the foot of their bed. Son of a rector. Son of a rector. Yeah. So there's a lot of... There's a lot of Lizzie Bing sightings.

That's extraordinary. I assume that's the end of the stories. That is the end of those stories. Oh, okay. Sorry, I thought there were more and I was setting you up for them. But no, that is the end of those stories. No, no, that is simply it. That is it.

It's kind of a bit... It's kind of what they've done... What Peter's Underwood has done there, he's clumped all the types of sightings at the top, and then he's kind of just listed a bunch of people with quite fun names at the bottom, whereas I wouldn't mind him picking out exactly who saw what. Oh, that's a shame, yeah. Mostly, we know for sure that Philip Green was awakened to see a grey figure standing at the foot of his bed, which we're assuming is Lizzie Bing, and this is one of the two bedrooms where the ghost was seen,

unless his bed was in a corridor or on a long-remove spiral staircase. But fortunately, that's not all there is from all canings. They're in the upper end of all canings. Sorry, just before you move on. And just to be clear, this isn't the same Sir Philip Green, who was in the news in the UK. Okay, so there's more in all. That isn't all the stories from all canings.

At the upper end is the story of... All cannings. All cannings. Sorry, I was back into festival mode. You're not a festival now, James. At the upper end of all cannings, there are multiple stories, which have been told for a long time

about a little man in a red hat. Oh, the little man in the red hat. He's mystical. He's fairy-like. You've got to be careful of... Do not accept a sweep from this guy. No, no matter how sore your throat is. Yeah, this little man in a red hut.

I haven't got time to say all the noises. Emerges in Willem's Drove and goes up as far as Wickham's Lane passing Wickham's farmhouse. Sidebar, that's also got a ghost in it. But the little man, the little man appears in the paneled room at Cliff Farmhouse,

which is a different farmhouse to Wickham's Farmhouse. There's multiple farmhouses. Motto farm. I try to think of what the plural for house was and it's clearly houses. I nearly said highs. But that just sounds like a very posh and I'm talking about one.

Hose and hikes. Oh, where, Cliff Farmhouse, sorry, is the name of a farmhouse, not a guy called Cliff. In that place where the little man appeared, in 1959, they uncovered a priest's hole. Oh.

Whoa. That's a shock. Yeah. As a priest. As much as anyone. Hey. Yeah, I don't know whether it was St. Clair Tisdale or

WD.E. Mould related, but yeah, there was a priest's hole. I'm sure we all know what a priest's hole is. We've definitely talked about that before, right? We have, yeah. They were basically hiding places for vicars during times of persecution. Priests, Catholic priests, rather. E.G. Just aside, Catholic priests. During the 1600s, perhaps, when Cromwell was kicking out. Because I've just put two parts of the story together, and maybe I've come up with five. But it says that Elizabeth and her three sons were kicked out of the rectory by Cromwell's men, and then Elizabeth returned in ghostly form to do the, you know, do the business with the long-removed spiral staircase.

To do the business on the stairs, okay. Do the business on the staircase that isn't there. It doesn't mention the vicar, but it does mention that just up the road there was a priest's hole. So maybe he, uh... I think it's time to start leap into conclusions. I do want to leap to conclusions. why did they put the kids and the wife in the precinct? Where's the wife and kids' hole?

Yeah. Yeah, great question, James. Actually, probably putting it together, Catholic police didn't have wives and kids in them days. Yeah, thinking about it. Actually, yeah, I've just leapt to a different conclusion based on remembering this guy had a wife. Using facts.

Oh, powerful facts. A podcaster destroys self with facts and logic is what just happened there. That was a series of self. phones. What Peter Underwood posits is that the little man in the red hat may have something to do with the folk, the Celtic. Celtic. Celtic is the football team. Right. The Celtic pagan legend of the peaked red one, which he mentioned her, he mentions a book by his friend, Dr. Anne Ross, called pagan Celtic Britain, which taught. talks about this, this, this, preternatural being, what does preternatural mean?

I've just read it like I know what it means. Yeah, I think it means unnatural in some way, like, but it doesn't obviously mean the same thing as supernatural. But I think if, if you have a, like an innate and eerie talent, that's a preternatural gift, isn't it? I also had misread it as a peter natural in my head before correcting it to preter natural. It could be the secret identity of supernatural is peter natural. Just pop some glasses on and works for the paper.

Looking it up. I think, yeah, it means beyond what's normal. Right. But obviously supernatural, I guess, goes one degree further. Yeah. It was probably bitten by a radioactive natural. So this peaked red one is described as being accompanied by a trout and a stag. All the lads.

And carries a blackbird on his right shoulder. Oh, nice. That is nice. I can see how you could be accompanied by a stag, but to be accompanied by a trout. Yeah, you're carrying a trout, surely. I don't think the trout has much choice. You've got a trout in a bucket, mate.

Otherwise, it limits where you can go if the trout is in a river or body of water. Yeah, you're accompanying the trout in that case because you're going to have to stay near river. Is that trout bothering Peter natural? again. I hear they come. The lads, the boys are back in town.

And it's just a man holding a fish. Spoiler alert. You actually know a lot more about that Peaked Red One and me, don't you? And that's on the recording. Because there was like a variety of foods that I haven't got on this version. Yeah, I did.

I looked some stuff up for the live, the lost legendary recording that people can listen to on the Patreon. And All Canning's is at the foot of Tan Hill. The Peaked Red One has supposedly been seen on Tan Hill, according to Spirits of the Stones by Alan Richardson. He looks into the etymology of the name Tan Hill. The highest point of it was supposedly marked on old maps as Devil's Church.

Oh, yeah. And it might be a contraction of St. Anne's Hill. Tans Hill. That's quite appealing. And it was either a prehistoric centre for fire worship or else a natural place for beacon fires. But no way is Tan Hall, the origin of Tan Hill. I'm sorry That's not

Clearly, I think the word Hill in Tan Hill means Hill Yeah, do you think That's my theory Another classic cell phone Oh, yeah

Oh no And the Peaked Red one He has a variety of food Stuffs That he gives to his Little Buddies He gives half a nut Possibly hazel

To the blackbird And he eats half himself Eating half a hazel Nut is Hardly worth it He carries an apple in a bronze vessel, half of which he gives to the stag, the other half he eats himself, he sips the water, and then all three trout, stag, and blackbird drink from his vessel.

Wait a minute, what's he sipping? Is that the trout water? I don't know if that's the trout's water. How does a trout sip? A trout is? I think that's from Dr. Anne Ross's pagan Celtic Britain, quoted in Spirits of the Stones. And in Ghost of Wiltscher by Peter Underwood? And in Ghostie Wiltz. Before we move on, I've got one more. More spooky thing from Tan Hill, if you'd like. I think I mentioned this on the night. Maybe my brain had turned to basically a format of jelly. I think it had been smoothed by the day.

It'd be perfectly smooth brain. Also from Spirits of the Stones, there was a funeral march spotted, a funeral cortege, atop Tan Hill, which has been spotted on numerous occasions. That seems like the wrong place to do it, unless you're going to the devil's church,

to have other devil's funeral. In 1940, two shepherds, George Tasker and Todd Beek were watching their flock of 300 sheep. Tusker and Beak, watching the sheep? Yeah, exactly, the boys. You've got the boys on the case. What could go wrong? Nothing.

Well, they heard the unusual sounds as of men and horses coming towards them. When the moon came out from behind a cloud, they could see a party of men carrying torches and walking behind a wagon drawn by black horses. on the wagon was strapped a coffin on top of which lay a crown or circle of gold when the cortege drew leather with them

it vanished into thin air me fustian cap rose right off me head George Tasker told his family direct quote Wow and we didn't know what a fustian cap was when we were at that live but a fustine is a kind of heavy cotton I think

so I think we're talking about a flat cap probably of some kind a cloth cap and again I don't know if this reflects my own search history, but in searching Fustian cap, the first thing that comes up is an opportunity to buy a Fustian cap with

leopard print. Oh, nice. Yeah, the internet knows what types of animal prints you like. Yeah, baby. Well, ever so spooky. The final ghost tale that I've got for you today

from All Cannings is from the White Rose Cottage. So, now this Ghosts of Wiltshire by Peter Underwood was first published in 1989, which is a while ago now. And according to this book, many years ago, so many years ago, something that I would also describe as being many years ago

is loads of years ago. A white rose cottage was inhabited by an elderly couple, Ruth and William King. Of course, they would be quite young now because this was a long time ago. Ah. I'm just trying to confuse James, listener. Don't worry. Don't you worry about that. I'm just seeing if I can confuse him.

They'll be triple old. By the time this comes out, James, they might be young again. Oh, because the second childhood, does the immortal bard spoke of? So apparently the rumor was that they... Of course, by the time this comes out, the bard may not be immortal, so just that I'm mind. Oh, no. No, he might not be anymore. Now, the rumor was that they were very, very rich, and they had a fortune tucked away in the cottage, but no one knew where.

And, oh, no, Alison, they can't be young because they both died. No. And also, I'd get ready to bring that no back out. No one found the treasure. What? You mean it's still there? Well, potentially. And local people said that the old lady had come back as a ghost to find or guard the

money that she had hidden. and people who lived in the cottage who didn't know anything about these tales said they experienced odd things and saw weird stuff. So one person said they saw an old lady and a black frock passed from one bedroom to the next. I mean, so far so Lizzie Bing.

Another said that when they were sleeping downstairs they were disturbed by someone entering the room and smoothing the Ida down on the bed while they were lying there. That's kind of nice but also really creepy at the same time. It is a bit. Shp, shp, shp.

Because that's kind of quite cozy when someone does that when you're in bed. Yeah. But if it was a ghost. But if it was a ghost, it wouldn't be so comforting, would it? It'd be horrible. Yeah, absolutely. But how can you tell without waking up fully and having a little quiz? You dare and you daren't peek out from under the quilt.

No. Another occupant, a London lady, said that they never use the downstairs sitting room, which is where all this other stuff. had happened where the bed had been previously, because they always felt unwelcome there. And a later owner, Miss J.E.H. Cave, said, she'd not seen the ghost or heard anything of a ghostly nature. I'm glad they interviewed her for balance. But she had, ghost books should interview all the people who haven't seen the ghost as well. I'm afraid she was puzzled by a square of plaster that persisted in falling from the ceiling in one particular place, even though it was

replaced and repaired several times. Do you reckon the treasure is up there in a dead dog bag? Spoiler! It's not as fun as a dead dog bag. So on the final occasion that the bit of plaster fell, it happened when she was in the room and the plaster fell down and it made her jump and she was so annoyed. She went over and actually had a look and tried to work out why it had fallen down. punched into the ceiling. She just punched the ceiling right in in Fiori. It does say she putting her hand into the ceiling. She discovered an old-fashioned box.

So she proper Marioed. She jumped with a fist, yeah. She went full Mario. And, yeah, it was a mystery box. Yeah. A question mark block, if you will. Open it up. She didn't find a mushroom or one big coin

or a star that made her immortal. she found an old-fashioned pair of heavily-boned ladies' stays and a purse, which was empty. Ah! Yeah. So the money had all rotted away to dust? Evidently so, yeah, but the purse remained. The purse remained. Unfortunately, the treasure was in another castle.

Very good chance. To carry on the Mario reference. Very, very good work. See, I wasn't capable of thinking of that on the night. No, the people who saw the life. version of this would have got nothing of that quality. Yeah. Well, actually, Peter completely contradicts himself here because it says the plaster was repaired

yet again and it continued to fall. So, sort of implying that it will just continue to fall forever because the treasure's been removed. Yeah, it sounds like a structural issue, more than the treasure. Yes. I don't know if she put the box back, removed it, but yes, that bit of plaster continued to fall down. It sounds more like someone cut a hole in the ceiling in order to hide a box. up there and did it to a very good

patching up job afterwards. Yeah. But those are the stories of all cannings. A fine little grab bag there, James. Well done. Yes. I tip my mystery red cap to you.

Uh-uh. Wait a minute. There's me all along. Yeah. Have half a hazelnut. So does your mates. Your little mates. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. The trounce wearing a hat as well. It's adorable. And the black bear. It's a soggy hat. And the stag and the blackbird. Do you reckon the trout was just swimming through the air? That would be quite good.

Oh, a magical trout? That'd be quite spooky, yeah. If that happened, though, he would have mentioned it to sell. You'd hope. Should we do what we didn't do on the night and score these? I mean, first that we're going to do naming. Oh, some lovely names. And some great initials as well.

Some lovely names. Promising further names that we don't know. W.D. E. Mould. Yes, great. Yeah. Mrs. Moll. My own emphasis. Mrs. Mould.

Mrs. Mould. Ms. Margaret Tisdale. Miss Margaret Tisdale. The Reverend C. W. St. Clair Tisdale. That's too long for the amount of breath that you can use on that voice, isn't it? Chandler Bing. Lizzie Bing. The Reverend Bobby Bing.

The Reverend Binge. Willem's Drove. Lovely Willem's Drove. I like that. Sounds more and more like a pop star. Cliff Farmhouse. Cliff Farmhouse. farmhouse and the priest holes.

It's actually very religious, Cliff Farmhouse. Yes. J-E-H-Cave. Yeah, great. Great. And Billy King. It's got to be a five. It's got to be a five.

It's got to be a five names in this episode. So many more than five great names. Okay. And next up, Supernatural. Come along now. Well, I honestly, I think the little guy in the red cap with his weird rituals and animals. And that I really like.

That sort of Celtic myth meets folklore. That's very cool to me. Your grey ladies, yeah, I take them and I leave them. Every house has got a grey lady. Yeah, all right, all right. There's at the bottom of your bed when you're sleeping. And mostly they never do anything. To be fair, though, doing your business on a spiral staircase is quite a party piece.

Yes. Yeah, going back to the Peaked Red one, yes, that idea that this mythical... pre, like, almost prehistoric, but Celtic era. Yeah, pre-Christian. Thing. Pre-Christian is, and people are still seeing it to this day, or people are saying they're seeing it to this day, is that's quite, like, ugh. It's very, the dark is rising kind of good stuff.

Yeah, so I think it's a, I think it's a fall. I'm knocking one off because, yeah, I've had it up to here with grey ladies. Greenery, grey lady and an old lady in black frock. Yeah, not bothered. Could just be a trespasser. And essentially, you need to get a plasterer in. That's not so much supernatural as it is just a decor issue. My next category is, it's a classic double-nameer.

It's right in the moneymaker slash little treasures. Two category names. Yeah, one. So, yeah, little treasures? Well, we've got the little treasures in the ceiling. Yes. And she punched her ceiling right in a moneymaker. Is that how a ceiling makes its money with a small hole?

Not in this case, no, because also the cupboard was bare. The little treasure box had, I should have thought that name through. Should have just stuck with little treasures. Yeah. Did anybody else get hit right in the moneymaker? No. Yeah, okay. This is really poorly chosen.

Oh, the ghost had the sweetest faces. Well, yeah, but nobody punched the ghost, I hope. No, it just says right in the money. maker. It doesn't say it has to have been pumped. But what does right in the money maker mean, if not punched in the mouth? Or anything else you make money with? Punched in the wallet.

No, you don't make money in the wallet. No, you don't make money in the wallet. Yeah, when you get money out of a bank machine, that's not making it. Uh-oh. It isn't. It's terrible news. The Reverend WD. E-Mold might have been a money-making invention.

Elizabeth and her three sons. Little treasures. Her sons were her treasures? Yeah, probably. The priest's hole? Yeah, and is the priest the treasure in that case? It's like a hiding place for a hidden treasure. If you consider a priest to be a treasure. Okay, well, obviously, I don't want to offend catalegs at this point, so yes, fine. And the lovely little gifts that the Peaked Red one gives to his animal companions. A lovely little nut. Yeah, okay, yes, I do enjoy the Peaked Red one giving a tiny little nut or half a nut.

Half a nut and half an apple and to a fish, a little sip of water. Oh, and the fish is like, yeah, great. Brilliant. What I'm going to do with that? I am a trout. Kind of literally my bread and butter. Ugh. If people breathe bread and butter.

Okay, I'm going to say it's a three because there were some little treats there, some little treasures, but I'm not really sure about the second half of that double name. I just liked it, I think is what happened there. I liked it. I don't think I can go with you on that, James. So it's three. Okay, fair play. Final category then, back from the dead. Okay, well, the ghosts, I guess, were back from the dead.

That's quite a lot of them. They're sort of back from the dead, at least in shade format. Yes. Or treasure-seeking plaster, unplastering format? Yeah. Maybe the peaked red one, like the myth of that came back from the dead, and this has just been consistent sightings ever since Celtic times. Well, I'm prepared to give it to you.

And also, this episode has been resurrected in some way because we've just sort of retold all the stories. Are you saying we died on stage? Technically, we were sat in front of the stage. Yeah, we couldn't actually get on the stage. I think some of the audience may have in the morning felt like they had died. Yeah. Some of them during the recording, I think.

I was gifted, very kindly, gifted some homemade gusbury wine, which I'm yet to open because I saw the state it got the person who gave me that wine. Broadly speaking, James, you don't want to drink anything from a Tom White song. So do take care of there. It looks like it works. Homemade Gusbury wine. Don't drink it. So, yes, go off a back from the day.

I hope that person made it in the morning. it's a it's a resurrected five out of five yes yeah absolutely five out of five for back from the dead it's a five it's a five brilliant that's what I should have said

ah I guess this is good stuff I'm glad we brought this this Frankenstein back actually I was a little pause there for the listener to say to themselves oh Figurne is the created not the monster because it's unnecessary for us to add that when we know our listenership. So that was they.

And if you are morbidly curious to hear what the original version, because there are, to be fair to us, I don't think we repeated that many jokes. No, there's some different jokes. So join us at patreon.com forward slash lawmenpod. Lawmen pod. And come see us at the cheerfully earful

on the 15th of October 2025. Inbalams, glittering balam. In balams, blah, blablam. I forgot how to speak there. Okay, ladies and gentlemen and everybody here. Hello. So, you might know him as P.C. Fancy Smith, as Emperor Augustus, King Richard the 4th, Prince Vulton, Bosnass. It's going to be Brian Blessed.

Give us all your world. So, Brian Blessed. You're allowed to speak. Thank you very much. I don't know if anyone's familiar with the Magbanogion. There is Bran the Blessed in that the giant king who has his head cut off and continues to speak for seven years. And I just wonder if they took inspiration.

It's an extraordinary thing. You're the first person who's mentioned this. that over in South Yorkshire, when I was just 16, 17, a woman called Ruth Benoine said, Brian, you're doing wonderfully well learning how to act and teaching me with Patrick Stewart and other people about acting and so forth. Yes, but what you don't, because she was Welsh, what you don't realize is, Your name is Bran. Ah.

I said, we're talking. I'm not called Bran. She said, you're Bran. You're Bran, the blessed. And you were the king of Britain. And you fought and saved Britain. And in a big battle, you lost your head. You had your head cut off.

And it's in the tower in London. Exactly. And that's why Churchill insists. that the ravens are never killed. They fly around, don't they? Yes. And they fly around purportedly my head. Yeah.

There's no end to my talent. You're not looking at bloody rubbish. What are you doing? Sit down. Shit, doesn't you know who I am?