Loremen Podcast - Loremen S6Ep41 - The Disappearing Diplomat

Episode Date: November 13, 2025

Prussia, 1809. An Englishman named Benjamin Bathurst vanishes without leaving a trace. Apart from his trousers. And his cloak. And possibly his skull. Who is behind this baffling disappearance? A local hoodlum, a French comte, or Napoleon Bonaparte himself? This cold case has remained unsolved for over two centuries. Until now! Because James has a theory NO ONE has considered before. (Maybe a horse ate him.) ⁠See Alasdair On Tour in 2026!⁠ Edited by ⁠⁠Laurence Hisee⁠⁠ Join the LoreFolk at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/loremenpod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ko-fi.com/loremen⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Check the sweet, sweet merch here... ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.teepublic.com/stores/loremen-podcast?ref_id=24631⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ @loremenpod ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠youtube.com/loremenpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/loremenpod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.facebook.com/loremenpod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Conditions and exclusions apply. Welcome to Lawmen, a podcast about local legends and obscure curiosities from Days of Yore. With me, Alastair Beckett King. And me, James Shakeshaft. And James, I hope you are wearing your inventive. investigating pantaloons.

Yeah? Well, pull them up. I don't know why I assumed they'd be around your ankles. Pull them up and get them buckled because I have a mysterious tale of 19th century mystery foyer.

It's the strange case of the disappearing diplomat. James, are you sitting comfortably? I'm standing shouting into a cupboard, so yes. Are you crouching in a in a wardrobe comfortably? I'm at the standing cupboard this time. The gentleman standing cupboard, rather than the crouching podcasters niche. Because they're the very, very, very eagle-eared will really

I realise that I have two different cupboards that I talk into. One of them involves me kneeling down in that sort of, I can't remember what it's called, but you know that sort of Japanese way where you sit on your legs? Yeah, yes. And then I've, by the end of the recording, I've got zero feeling in my legs, and it's dangerous for me to walk downstairs. I mean, James, at your height, you must get incredible head rushes when you stand up unexpectedly.

At your height slash age, you must be taking your life into your hands every time you stand up. I have fainted just simply from standing up. Oh, me too, me too. It's a tough old world, isn't it? Solidarity. I'm glad that you're crouching, standing, kneeling. Bleating into a cupboard. Because I'm about to try and deliver a shakeshaft style cinematic opening.

Yes. Are you ready? Smash cut. Boom, yes. I don't even know what it is. Whoa. Yeah. Are we coming, is it star wiping in?

So the star is mostly black And the star starts smaller And whoop And now you're in, yes, exactly 3D surround sound It's the 25th of November THX Is there a helicopter

Going past an electric guitar Now streaming the future The 90s kids will remember That's what was on the cinema In that anyway James, it's November and it is in real life when we're recording this November. Yeah.

But in this movie, it's the 25th of November, 1809. Right. Simply a month till Christmas, 1809. But no one is feeling very cheerful, because we are in the Prussian town of Perleburg, which is now a city in northeast Germany. But in those days, was in Prussia. Okay. Do you know anything about Prussia, James?

Yeah, I've got a lot of Prussia questions. Just crack out some of your Prussia bangers, some of your Prussia jokes. is Prussia pleather to Russia's leather? He had one, listener. He actually had a Prussia joke. I'm as surprised as you were. It's not actually Russia.

Did Prussia and Russia exist at the same time and did people get as annoyed as I hope they did that there were two countries basically with the same name? So Prussia at this time, it is a bit of northeastern Germany, a bit of northern Poland, you know, modern Germany, modern Poland. along to the westernmost bit of modern Russia.

Right. And the rest of Russia, was that Russia? And the rest of Russia was Russia at that time. Standard Russia. What could be less controversial than the borders of Russia? Yikes. Let's just finally nail down where they are once and for all. Prussia, to sum up, we're in Prussia.

Right. Captain von Kittzing. Sorry. Is laid up. Yep, that's his name. You can't just try and gloss over names. that, but it looks like you're going to. Captain von Klitsing, he is laid up with a swollen neck. That's unimportant. The neck does not come back into the story. I'm just adding colour.

And I imagine, when are we 1809? Imagine that. If he's a captain, he's in the army. And from what I know of uniforms at that time, very high collars. Very collar based. Very, very starched. So you can imagine the kind of moody's in when there's a knock at the door. It's a young man, supposedly a merchant by the name of Koch. Come on. Yep. Come on now, Alistair. His name was Koch.

K-O-C-H-K-K-H-K-K. The thing is, James, this guy, he doesn't have a Prussian accent. In fact, he's an educated Englishman, and he's trembling with ague. He's shivering and quivering in a panic, even though he appears to be wearing a fine sable traveling coat. He's traveling with his secretary and his valet, but he doesn't trust anyone. He's in fear for his leg. And he asks von Klitsing for protection

and the captain, who is sometimes called the governor, sometimes called the mayor, stations two soldiers to stand guard at the nearby Swan Inn until the young man's horses are ready and he can leave town. What are my favourite pub names, by the way? The Swan Inn. That's how you go into every room. Yeah, exactly.

It's not just in this pub that I do this, but it's accurate. Right, okay. So big neck's grumpy, but looking out for this guy. Yeah, yeah. He agrees to give him a couple of soldiers. At 7pm, the Englishman dismisses the guards But then suddenly decides he isn't going to leave until 9pm Come 9pm, the horses are ready

An Osler or Varganmeister Is holding a horn lantern The secretary is paying the landlord On the steps of the inn The valet opens the door of a carriage For his master to step inside And I'm going to hand over to friend of the podcast Sabine Barring Gould now

Oh, welcome return The Englishman stood outside the inn Watching his portmanteau which had been taken within, being replaced on the carriage, stepped round to the heads of the horses, and was never seen again. Mm-hmm. He walked around the head of the horses and vanished off the face of the earth. Wow.

And to this day, he has never been seen again. I mean, it would be really surprising if he was seen now, because this was ages ago. Yeah. The English government offered a £1,000 reward, and the family of the man offered another £1,000. Prince Frederick of Prussia, who took a lively interest in the matter. offered in addition 100 Friedrichs d'Or, Friedrichs d'Or, for the discovery of the body,

or information which might lead to the solution of the mystery. I feel like Prince Frederick offering 100 Friedrichs is a bit like me offering 100 gold ABKs. I'm not sure how much. That's worth. I guess it's very valuable. But no information to be depended upon ever transpired. Now, that is quite a lot of money. £2,000 in 1809, according to the Bank of England, inflation calculator is like 140,000.

in today's, in today pounds. So those quotes were from historic oddities and strange events. Sabian Bering Gould, Barring Gould, never know how to say it. His book from 1889. And this is the story not of the merchant Koch, but of Benjamin Bathurst. That was the real name of the Englishman who vanished. What? Benji Baths.

The new Benjamin has entered the building. We're talking about Benjamin Bathurst, the English diplomat who disappeared in 1809. And I first discovered this story from The Rose Goddess and other sketches of mystery and romance, a book from 1910 by Lady Constance Charlotte, Eliza Lennox Russell. Whoa. Henceforth Lady Russell. Constant rustling. So I'm summarising her account of Benjamin Bathurst's early life. He was born a young Englishman.

For some reason, I've written that in my notes. Good. As all Englishmen, he was born young. As one of the young ones. It was born as a young English baby. in 1784 to an aristocratic family, the Bathurst. Youth is wasted on the babies. That's what they say, isn't it?

So he's not, but he's Benjamin Bathurst, not Benjamin Button. We can, we know that much. No, he was, that's right, he was born a child and he got older, but not that much older. Uh-oh. He didn't make it past his early 20s, really. The Bathursts are still an aristocratic family now. There's still the Earl's Bathurst in the present. And in fact, the heir apparent.

to the earldom is a Benjamin Bathurst, but not the same one. Oh. This Benjamin Bathurst, his mother was Grace Coot. Good. Who was the sister of Lord Castle Coot. Good. And Benjamin was named after his grandfather, who was also called Benjamin. What?

And that Benjamin Bathurst had 36 children. Yikes. Yeah. Whoa. 22 by his first wife, Finetta. Excuse me? And 14 by his second wife, Catherine. Wow.

Those poor women, what happened to them? I think it's obvious. Yes. Poor wives. Many twins in there? Oh, I hope so. You've got to hope so. Would that make it easier?

I don't know. I think it just get him out. Otherwise, it's consistent pregnancy. And he is actually a relative of, do you know Robert Bathurst, the English actor? Yes. He was Todd Hunter in Reddwarf and he's the roommate in Toast of London. Yes. He's in cold feet.

Well, he is not a descendant of this guy for reasons that are sort of relevant to this story. Benjamin Bathurst didn't have any descendants who survived, sadly. But he's related to that aristocratic family. The 36 guy? Yeah, well. I think we're all related to the 36 guy. I suppose it's not really surprising, but he's got quite a lot of offspring. But we're talking about our Benjamin Bathurst, who didn't have,

that many children who was his grandson. And at a young age, he was very successful. He was appointed envoy extraordinary to the court of Vienna on a secret and doomed mission. Uh-oh. As you know, James, I don't know anything about military history or the Napoleonic Wars. And I don't care to learn things about military history

and the Napoleonic Wars. I'm going to do my best here to explain what was happening at this time. Are you a TV show Sharp Denier? I really like Sharp. I love Sharp. But you will not learn a thing out from it. I will not learn any context. As soon as they're talking about something that isn't,

like about the plot of that particular episode. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll not hear it. So Napoleon was fighting in Spain. That's why I can't really do Sean Bean. Oh, too. See what you can do. Oh, very good.

Very good, James. Give blood. So I think that, he was on the west side, Sharp. Napoleon was busy fighting Sharp's rifles over in Spain on the west side. And on the east side of the French Empire, he was fighting the Austrian Empire. He'd think he was overstretched, but he was actually romping to victory, I think, at this point. And the British wanted to persuade the Austrians to stay in the war. So I think basically he was coming with a note saying, please stay in the war.

We're sending loads of resources to help the Spanish. So please stay in the war. Sean Bean's over there. Right, we've sent in Sean Bean. Oh, he's been killed. We could do you with Jimmy Nail? Needless to say, the Austrians turned their nose up at the Jimmy Nail offer. And in October 1809, the Austrians signed a treaty with Napoleon, which was a huge deal geopolitically.

Way, way, way beyond my understanding. But for the purposes of our podcast, terrible news for Benji Baths, because it put him in a tight spot. So he wrote a letter to his wife. Philida via Heligoland Pardon? Yep, you heard me Heligoland

Heligoland It sounds like a German called Mr. Legoland Yeah Is that to Legoland Goodn Arbent Heelagoland Basically it was very difficult For him to get letters out

Of Austria And it was going to get harder You've got to clip them together And stuff I suppose And the dots Because of Lego Is that one Through Legoland, yeah

so here's his this is being very silly James but this is the last letter his wife ever received from him so he's written it in Lego just continue to make continue to make Lego jokes but on your head be it

but that's like you'd need such a big flattie to do a letter of any sort because even if you I'm presuming it's all caps and you need a lot of little dots basically and they didn't even have them

in the 18 in the 1980s never mind in 1890s This is the last letter this woman ever received from her husband. Can I point out this is a real person? Real person? But we don't know for certain that he's dead. I mean, although like maths insists that he must be by now. Spoiler.

Things are in the most desperate condition. And if Bonaparte can be removed from Vienna without some very signal catastrophe to Austria, the utmost of our hopes will be fulfilled. My fate will, of course, be decided amongst the other articles of the piece. If the intercourse with England is put an end to, which is next to certain, I shall endeavour to get home by Colberg and Sweden rather than the Mediterranean. I shall rejoice to return once more to you. And as the affairs of the continent are for the present, so hopeless,

I shall not much regret abandoning them. He probably did actually regret this journey. But he set off north, as he said there, instead of going via the Mediterranean, he set off north travelling under the false name of Koch with his Swiss valet, Ilbert. Oh, sorry. What has shocked you there? I didn't realize this was the same guy. Oh, right.

This is the same guy, James. I thought I was just a little soups on. I thought I was just a little amuse, boosh for like, sometimes people disappear. James, what does, what of the words smash cut mean to you? I was starting in media res and now we're flashing back. This is the guy who vanishes in Perleburg. Oh, I'm really not very smart when it comes to films or TV shows. Well, if you enjoy that twist, James, it's non-stop twist from this point in.

Oh, gosh. So he adopts the name. I'm going to say it now as if I knew that you hadn't followed the story at all. Right. He adopts a name. He decides to travel under a false name.

He decides to call himself Koch. Yeah, like the name of that merchant from the start. Yeah, the distrustful merchant with the false moustache. Exactly, in the weird accent. Guy incognito.

And he's traveling with his valet and his secretary, his Swiss valet, Ilbert, and his secretary also called the king's messenger from the another diplomat called Krauss. What was his Swiss guy called Gilbert or Ilbert?

Ilbert. Ilbert? Ilbert. Like an ilbert. Like Albert, but unwell. Yeah. Ah, yai. This is full of

knock-off brand names. We got a Lego land. We've got Prussia. We've got Ilbert. Wow. Well, as you know, James. He reached Perlberg, but he didn't get any further than that. He vanished.

Disappeared into a horse. Just as he was supposed to leave. He went round the head of a horse and disappeared, at least according to Sabine Beringold's version of the story. Did the horse eat him? I'm going to give you many, many theories. Horse ate him is completely new, James. Nobody so far has hypothesized that the horse ate him.

It's just, um. Good, okay. It's a good thing he walked around the head of the horse. Had he walked around the other end, your theory would be completely different. It's like those tubes in supermarkets for the money. You think he got pneumatic tubed up a horse's bum? He got pneumaticed into a horse. Well, they would have checked, James.

That's the first place they would have looked. The Osler would have checked. I could just sit. So they did check. The alarm was raised almost immediately because the guy had vanished. Everybody knew he was leaving. He was gone. And there was a search of the woods around Perleburg.

I'm quoting from Sabian Bering Gould now. The whole neighbourhood was surged, ditches, ponds, the riverbed, drains every cellar and garden, and nothing found. Ayah, aye, aye. The search went on to December 6th and proved wholly resultless. So some sources reckon von Klitsing was deliberately hampering the investigation. Some reckon that Klitsing and the local burgomaster, Minka, were too busy shifting blame onto each other to take time to investigate properly. I'll go into the theories later. But first, I've got two clues for you, James.

Yes. First of all, the pantaloons. Right. Or possibly overalls. A pair of his trousers or overalls, different accounts say different things, were found. Dropped trow. He may have dropped trow. They were found laid out in Quitsov woods, a little copse.

And they were found by two old women. Right. And this is how Lady Russell described them. They were certainly the overalls worn by Mr. Batson. at the time of his disappearance, but they had obviously been laid out in the cops in a position purposely to catch the eye. Furthermore, they had two bullet holes in them, but there was no blood, and it was thought from this that the shots had been fired in two empty trousers. Mysterious, Monsieur.

Someone thought it was two big denim snakes. They fired defensively. Yeah. Two defensive shots. Also, how'd you lay trousers out? I mean, I'm thinking they used a stick at one, in the middle. to sort of make them be noticeable. The thing that's strange about it is these words were searched

in the immediate aftermath of his disappearance. But it wasn't until December 16th that they were found. So people tend to think that they weren't there during the search and that someone laid the trousers out later to be found. Very strange. The second clue is the sable cloak. Do you remember he was travelling with that fine black cloak that caught von Clitzing's eye, at least in.

the telling of the story where I made up a bit where it caught his eye. I was hoping it wouldn't come back into the story because I don't know what Sable means. Isn't like horse hair? It's an animal, James. But it also, it just sometimes it just means black, as in black, I guess, as Sable. But it's fine, fine fur.

That's why someone said they had Sable hair maybe because it had black hair in a book one time and I had no one to ask. That was discovered in the possession of young Albert Schmidt, who was a gambler with a bad reputation as well as son of the Wagnermeister, the Osler at the posthouse who we met earlier.

Now, he was not at home at the time that the stranger disappeared. I can't tell whether that is meant to be suspicious like he doesn't have an alibi or whether that's meant to be like an alibi. He wasn't there. He was somewhere else. I can't tell.

But basically, his explanation was that the sable cloak was left in the post house and he stole it. So he admitted to stealing it, he and his mother, in fact, and both of them were sentenced to eight weeks in prison. And that is about as much punishment as anyone's going to get. Like, if this were real life, probably that guy would be the murderer. But in a murder mystery, there's no way the guy who was found with his cloak, who's a gambler with a bad reputation, would actually be the murderer. No.

So, let's move on to the theories. Because, James, you thought this was a movie. You thought this was another James Shakespeare joint, but it's not. This is a choose your own adventure. For legal reasons. This is a choose one's personal. Discern one's own amusement. Exactly.

There are four categories of theory, hypothesis, explanation for what happened. You include in horse swallow? Well, there's five explanations for what happened. I may have one more as well. The shake shaft horse swallow. But I want to see what you've got first. Money, madness, politics and the paranormal. Okay.

I invite you to choose, I'm going to do all of them, but you can choose the order that we do them in. Money? Money. Very sensible. The theory that the gambler killed him for his cloak and his money, he was also wearing a diamond pin that caught everyone's eyes. He was not necessarily the smartest or most inconspicuous traveler.

Dangerous. He was sort of flashing his cash a little bit. decades later in 1852 Benjamin's sister travelled to the town to investigate her name James was Trafina Thistlethwaite

and yes I will take my five points right now thank you Okay Okay Just gonna bank those Thistlethawait Trifina Thistlethwait

Why gosh Is she used to check whether the anaesthetic has worked Trifina Thistlethwa Okay yeah We're ready We can do his root canal So she looked into

The money angle So the suspects in this category are Albert Schmidt, who you know, the gambler, his friend, Hacker, who made brandy and kept, according to Beringold, a low tavern. It's just men. They're just innocent men. And Mrs. Kestern, the doctor's wife, who's not a suspect, she told Trophina that she saw the diplomat go into Hacker's house before he vanished. And a hacker later moved to Altona near Hamburg and became quite prosperous, which is considered. suspicious because you know

his fortune changed. There's also Christian Mertons who was a waiter or a boots at the Sworn Inn and years later

a stable in that town was demolished and they found a skull with a big hole in the back of it and that stable had belonged

to Murtens so maybe that skull was Benjamin's skull I'm going to quote from Lady Russell now the moment however

that Mrs. Thistleth saw the skull she felt convinced it was not her brothers as the whole contour was exactly opposite to the shape of his head which to me sounds impossible that a skull could be the opposite

of the shape of his head was she looking at the inside of it I don't know perhaps more convincingly the chief magistrate a medical man also attested that the jaw could not have belonged to the person whose portrait

Mrs Thistlethwaite produced so she never believed that the skull that was found was connected with the disappearance of Benjamin. But Mertens, who had owned that stable, gave his daughter's pretty hefty dowries of £120 and £150, which is quite a lot for a guy who worked at a waiter in and in. There's one more suspect in the money category.

And this comes from a testimony of a frau hacker, who, as far as I know, is not related to the other hacker, but she might be, I don't know. What kind of accent would she have? Frow Hacker I'm just thinking of the dog from CBVC A few weeks before Christmas I was on my way to Perleburg

from a place in Holstein where my husband had found work In the little town of Seaburg 12 miles from Hamburg I met the shoemaker's assistant Goldberger of Perleberg whom I knew from having danced with him He was well dressed

and I'd from his fob hanging a hair chain with gold seals His knitted silk purse Was stuffed with Louis Dorr That's a golden loon Louis. When I asked him, how he'd come by so much money. I'm now moving it more into that accent a little bit. It's fine. He said, oh, I got $500 and the watchers hush money when the Englishman was murdered. He told me no more particulars, except that one of the seals was engraved

with a name, and he had had that altered in Hamburg. So this Goldberger is another suspect, but nobody really takes Frow Hacker seriously. I think generally everyone thinks she was just, she was already in prison when she gave that testimony. She has the voice of a puppet as well. she's got a really unrealistic accent for that region of Prussia as well it's very affected so that's quite a few suspects on the money front remaining we've got madness politics and the paranormal politics politics okay here we go

big main suspect in the politics field yeah little chap called Napoleon Bonaparte the little guy himself yeah well not not him personally but essentially so the general opinion in Prussia was that it was money. They think it was just, he was murdered and robbed. The general opinion in England was that it was politics and Napoleon was to blame.

Well, surely that was everything at that time. It was a generally, Napoleon got a lot of blame for a lot of things. So immediately after the vanishing, a friend of the Bathurst family, Heinrich Rontgen investigated in December, and then Bathurst's wife visited in 1810. Right. And there had been news reports that a skeleton with bound hands had been found in the nearby Magdeburg Fortress. Oh. And those news reports seem to be not true.

They seem to have been made up. But a lady of Magdeburg claimed that the governor had himself told her, They are looking for the English ambassador, but I have him up there, he said, pointing at Magdeburg Fortress. So, Philida, Bathurst's wife, went to the governor herself, begged with him, pleaded with him, tell me, what did you do with my husband? Please tell me what happened. And he insisted that it was all a misunderstanding. He said that the ambassador he had been talking about was not Bathurst, but another man named Louis Fritz, who had travelled from Prussia to Spain. Right. Okay. Which sounds to me like he tried to come up with an English-sounding name and failed so badly.

Louis Fritz. Oh yeah, yeah, the English guy. Rodrigo Yankee. Yeah. Just a normal English guy. Pedro Jones Anyway Louis Fritz Yeah so you might not think that Louis Fritz is a real guy There was probably a newspaper

with like Louis's trousers on the Fritz and he looked at it Mrs. Doubtfire style and just came up with a fake name Right, yes, yes, yes. The Philida, she did her research she checked with the foreign office who denied that any such man

had been issued a passport so that sounds like it might not be true. Understandably a lot of people in England decided he was probably murdered in Magdeburg either at Napoleon's behest or because Napoleon wasn't particularly keen on, you know, English ambassadors at that time. Yes. She wrote to Napoleon. Well, he didn't reply personally, but she got a letter back denying that he had anything to do with it, which is kind of interesting because why lie?

Why would he, if he had had something to do with it, he's Napoleon? Yeah. Well, he could just go, yeah. Yeah. Well of it. So interesting that he denied it because he could have just, if he was responsible, he could have said that. Similarly, a bit weird, okay, everybody in town seems to have got a little bit of money that any one person could have got £2,000 by just shopping their neighbour if there had been

the tiniest whiff of murder. So it's a bit weird that nobody tried to claim the reward by pointing the finger. Yeah. There's one detail that I left out of one of those clues, James, which were the trousers, had an unfinished letter in the pockets written by Bathurst to his wife. In Lego. The letter asked her, first of all, not to remarry, if anything happened to him. Also, naming the person he thought was responsible for his ruin.

Oh. Someone called the Comte d'Entrigue. I beg your pardon? The count of intrigue. Of the intriguing Kant. What? The count don't trege. What?

Who is a real person? What? Real guy, just a guy's name. Guy incognito. But he really was guy incognito. He was like an adventurer and a spy, and he was always betraying people, and he was an anti-Napoleon writer. And by the time Philida was looking into it, he was living safely in England. In barns.

Oh, yeah. The wetland. Yeah, so in the wetland centre, yeah, he was a small bird. So Philida went to the court and asked him if he knew anything about Bathurst's disappearance. The Comte d'Antregg swore, he swore down, James. He swore down. Swear down. I swear down, he said.

I swear down. I wasn't involved. He said it wasn't anything to do with him, but he believed the Bathurst had been killed in Magdeburg Fortress. Yeah. And he thought that he could prove it. He said, here's what I'll do. I'll send a coded letter to Paris. And then they'll send a coded letter back.

And then I'll decode that letter and that will prove it. Now, a cynical person might say that wouldn't prove it. Because that's the same as you telling me if you're the one who does the code. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Thelida agreed to that. And then, what do you think happened then, James? Have a guess.

Did it turn out that it was in the castle? Not at all. Completely wrong, James. What happened then was the count and his wife were murdered in a completely unrelated, mysterious attack. What? Yes, his wife was stabbed to death

on the doorstep of their house by his servant and then inside the house two shots were heard and he and the servant were discovered lying dead How are his trousers? Covered in Lego.

Shot up as well. Absolutely. Oh no. So, yeah, wow. So proof, if proof be need be these people were kooky. Yeah. That's other stuff going on.

There was a lot of stuff going on. It was a very, very busy time. So that was the end of that. avenue of investigation for Philida. And there is a third political explanation. What? Which is the most tenuous of all. And this one is put forward.

It's a real turn to dust of an explanation, this one. Yes. Put forward by Sir John Hall Bart in his 1922 book, four famous mysteries. So Bart reckons that Bathurst was involved with a secret network of anti-Napoleon plotters in Prussia. But he was so paranoid and unhinged. that he was becoming a liability.

And so the secret society murdered him before he blew their cover. Ayah, yeah. That's his theory. And the idea is that von Klitsing was well aware of all of this and informed the Prussian authorities. And they decided basically to keep it quiet because Napoleon wouldn't care

of an English diplomat disappeared, but he would not be thrilled to hear that next door in Prussia the military was plotting against him. And the British authorities would be in a similar situation. They wouldn't want to have a plot against Napoleon revealed, so it might explain why they made a lot of noise about it, but didn't really do anything to find him.

Oh, no, one of our guys has died up in it. Oh, no. Where do you go? Oh, no, where'd he go? Classic England. And this is largely based on the fact that Krauss, the secretary, his testimony went missing. So his, yeah, Bart's theory is,

oh, well, it must then have explained it all, and that's why it's been destroyed. but really there's no evidence for this theory at all the kind of the evidence for it the secret society is that we don't know what happened and so that proves that a secret society covered up the truth. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So it's a little bit, like, it could be that or it could be maybe the guy who had his cloak did it. We don't know. We simply don't know. Mm-hmm. Those are the political explanations. So what have we got supernatural? Well, let's have paranormal. Paranormal and madness.

Paranormal, okay. Yeah. It's weak, James. It's weak. We're not even in the categories yet. Charles Fort in Lowe includes it in examples of people who have vanished mysteriously. And, of course, he doesn't believe the mundane explanations. And he sort of hints that it might be teleportation. But as usual with Charles Ford, he doesn't nail his colours to the mast and say what he actually thinks happens.

He just says how the scientific rational explanations aren't very good. It's really associated with the paranormal, but I can't find anybody who's really prepared to go on record and say, oh, I think he fell through a time slip. I think he teleported. I think he slipped into another dimension. Nobody really believes that that's what happened. I think the reason it's associated with the supernatural and the reason it's a spooky story is it's inspired lots of science fiction and horror writers.

So, like, he's mentioned by Harlan Ellison, and he inspired one of the Lovecraft stories. So he appears in loads of weird fiction. But I don't think many people really think he actually vanished or teleported. or was eaten by a horse. Is that paranormal? It's not natural. Speak for yourself.

No one thought that. I got sick to our horse's bum. Finally, madness. Madness, yeah. So, Le Monitor Universal Universal, French newspaper. The Universal Monitor. January 29th,

presumably of 1810, said, Among the civilized races, England is the only one that sets an example of having bandits in pay and inciting to crime. From information we have received from Berlin, we believe that Mr. Bathurst had gone off his head. Oh.

It is the manner of the British cabinet to commit diplomatic commissions to persons whom the all nation knows are half fools. It is only the English diplomatic service which contains crazy people. Strong words. Yeah, big words. From the French newspaper there.

Translated from French into sass. So essentially they were saying he was unhinged and, you know, he did himself in in some way. That was a convenient explanation for the French to believe that, you know, he just did it. But disappeared? Yes. Somehow he died or drowned or shocked himself in the woods. Got inside a horse. But there's one other kind of nutty explanation.

Bathurst's brother-in-law, George Cotsford Call, he had his own theory. and his diary was published after his death in the Westminster Review detailing his thoughts on the subject. And he reckons that Bathurst vanished on purpose, deliberately, and set off on foot from Perleburg to Kurnigsberg. Now, we know that he didn't really trust Krause, or we've heard that he didn't trust Kraus, the secretary, because he'd found a £500 note on Kraus, apparently.

So it's like, where did he get that money from, you know? Is he being bribed to do me in? And so maybe he said, okay, I'm going to be leaving at nine, get the horses ready, and then just set off on foot himself. Right. In support of this theory, an unknown Englishman called at the house of a British agent in Kernigsberg, but didn't give his name and the agent wasn't there. This is for people who know their Prussian geography and modern German geography. This is not the Bavarian town of Kernigsberg in modern Germany now, which is in the middle of Germany. This is a different Kernigsberg.

It's changed its name. Does it go to a different school? It's now part of Russia. So it's changed his name, like Woody Allen, from Alan Kornigsberg to Woody Allen, it changed his name to Kaliningrad. And it's now in the Kaliningrad Oblast of Russia. That sounds like a knock-off Leningrad. No, no, no, we clearly said Kaliningrad.

I'm sorry. But if you were expecting Leningrad, that's on you. So it's a really good place to sail to Sweden from, so it would make sense for him to go there. And apparently several ships were lost on the passage to Sweden around that time. So that's Mr. Kohl's theory is just that he made it almost as far as Sweden, where he might have been safe, but anonymously drowned in the Baltic Sea, which would be quite sad, but it is possible. It's a bit weird the way people talk about this, because they talk about him spending the night in the woods and then walking to Kunigsberg. But that's, it's miles away, James. It's at the east end of Prussia.

Yeah. That's like, it's literally like walking from London to Edinburgh. And not only that, it's walking across the north coast of Poland, of what is modern Poland, in November, without his coat or trousers. Yikes, no, you can't be doing that. So it's not happening, it's not happening. But it may be it's possible that he, that he walked to a different town and got transport to Koenigsberg from that other town. Either way, clearly the work of a mad lad. Yeah.

All right. Possibly a total legend. But that is the madness theory. So the French preferred the madness theory, the Prussians preferred the money theory, the English preferred politics, and Charles Ford preferred paranormal. Yes, random teleportation.

I prefer... Shake shaft, really... Hungry horse. ...or my second theory. Let's hear it, James. Let's close this case once and for all. What is it? Did they count how many horses there were?

afterwards, because I think, I don't know if... This horse has an English accent, doesn't have a Prussian horse accent. Yeah, yeah. Oh, excuse me, wait a minute. He went full pantow. So it still involves climbing into the bum of the horse, but it's totally different strategy. That's why he took his trousers off, he took his cloak off, he got inside the pantow horse. his outfit, yes, because, you know, he'd just been on his portmanteau,

what's a portmanteau of portmanteau, panto. Yeah, I mean, a portmanteau is a case, so he wasn't on his portmanteau, but still a very good joke, James. And his pantow loons, trousers. Yes, very good. Yeah, it's all point in one way. Yeah. He's behind you. Whoa, imagine if he was, though.

That would be great. Nah, it's just a skeleton. That doesn't look anything like it. If anything, that's the opposite of what he looked like. That's got an inverse face. So that's the story, James, of the disappearing diplomat. Very nice. James, are you ready to score the sad, mysterious,

and let me remind you, very serious disappearance of Benjamin Bathurst? I am, and I will endeavour to treat it with the respect that I have not yet. Yeah, yeah, not at all. Okay, somberly then, my first category is supernatural. Come on. The teleportation thing. It's weak, isn't it? That is very weak.

I suppose the only thing is he just disappeared walking around a horse. Well, I've got to be honest, James. That is how Sabine Beringould describes it. Other versions of the story just involve him going back into the inn and saying, have the horses ready for nine and then not turning up. I just never turning up. Yeah, I think that's, yeah. Which is much more plausible.

Like, the fantastical parts of it have probably been exaggerated in the retailing. Hey, this is a fun supernatural podcast. I don't have to tell the truth, but I feel obliged. out of respect for you and the listeners to admit, it might not be quite as mysterious as that. I'll give it a one because... Thank you. Just simply because of Fort's Hail Mary.

Yeah, yep, thank you. Good to be terrible. From his book, Lo! Low! As in, hello, exclamation mark. Yep, it's got an exclamation mark. I assume it's a musical. Not the Bowie album. Or the REM song.

My second category, here we go. Here we go, listener. This is where I get it back. This is why they get them back. Right. Naming. Yes. The name's James.

A million out of five. A million out of five. It's obviously five. You got the, what, Thistlethwaite. Traffina Thistlethawait. You have to warm up before you say the name. Philida. We've got Prussia.

I can't believe it's not Russia. Lord Castle Coot. Yes. That's the type of bird. Lady, Constance, Charlotte, Eliza, Lennox, Russell. It's like five people. Yes. It's one person.

The old big neck. Captain von Klitsing. With his swollen neck. Yeah. The fake coch making sure I pronounce that well. Take care there, yes. And wasn't there another lady?

There was someone else around then who had quite a saucy name. Well, it was Frau Hacker. I don't know how saucy that is. It was Ilbert. He didn't like Ilbert very much. I can't believe it's not Ilbert. The notorious SBG, Sabine Bering Gould.

Hell Legoland. And Heligoland. Yes. Yeah, it's five. It's absolutely five. My next category, intrigue, entreg. You see what I'm saying? I'm saying the word intrigue, but I'm saying it in the vaguely French way to make it sound like the count d'Entreg.

So much intrigue, James. Yes, Counts Don Traig. Who murdered him? The guys who probably murdered him? Or some mysterious conspiracy? There's, I mean, all of the options are intriguing. And honestly, there is an argument against even the obvious ones, like the fact that nobody tried to claim the reward. Yeah.

Even getting banged up in the castle, it's sort of a bit pointless if you don't tell anyone. Yeah. During a war, because you want to be ransoming and stuff like that, don't you? Why not, yeah, why not, why not admit it afterwards when it doesn't matter? Very intrigued. Or it could have been this sort of, you know, a spy that got cold feet and then got offed. Yeah, yes. So much intrigue.

It could have been him making it. really stupid decision to try and walk to Russia. Yes, with no trousers. With how his trousers on? After having shot his trousers. So they couldn't follow him. Most intriguing. And even the Canton Traig himself.

Yeah. He'll just get up and gets murdered. Yes. He's the very personification of intrigue. Nobody even knows why that happened. That's, you know, it could be revenge or it could have been a personal thing. Nobody's quite sure what happened there either. Unrelated mystery.

Just like the big fat neck of Fonclitzing. We'll never know what caused that. I could just imagine it really getting pushed up as well, like, you know, like spanks, but for a neck. The case is dragging on and his neck's just getting more and more swollen. Yeah, it's going over his mouth now. You're all off the case until someone bring me the English diplomat. It's five out of five. It's ever so intriguing.

Thank you very much, James. my final category. Oh, no, he didn't. Oh, nice. Yep, calling back to your Panto work there with a last minute Panto theory. American listeners might not know a fun pantomime catchphrase. Oh, no, he didn't. Oh, yes, he did. Because for every, for every theory, there's somebody prepared to knock that theory right down and say, no, no, that couldn't be it. All of, it's weird, all of them are sort of plausible, but they all do fall down. As same with the interest, as a, as a similar to the intrigue category. But yeah, they all do fall down of like,

no, no, I didn't. But he didn't. Of course, I think perhaps the skull is plausible because, you know, it's hard for a late person to look at a skull and work out what the face would have looked like, but they did have a trained medical man there saying it wasn't him.

And it's just a shame that we don't have, like, DNA and stuff. Because we could have just found out. I think other bodies were found in that town since then. I think two others appeared in the century that followed. So, you know, it's possible. that he never left, but we just won't know. Yeah. And also you know, and him going on the

run, like, coming down, I'll be back down in two hours, oh no, he didn't, and I'll know he wasn't. Yeah. Why ask for a guard and then dismiss the guard two hours before you're planning to leave? Very weird. Oh, no. Oh, no. I, you know, I gave a bit

character, I said that he was sort of shivering, but he was supposedly, everyone thought he was sort of ill or terrified because he was literally shaking, I think, according to again, possibly exaggerated accounts. But yeah, we just don't know. I think I need to give you a five, because I don't think any of it did.

No, but he entirely didn't. Yeah, he didn't at any point. Yeah. Well, thank you very much, James. Well, you're very welcome. I'm baffled, though. I'm just going to think about that. It's mysterious.

So you just say that. I'm just going to walk around the front of this horse. Wait a watch out. That horse is really hungry. Why did they have to shoot the trousers? An innocent pair of pantaloons. Yeah. Well, Alistair, that was really great fun.

I'm sure a lot of my attempts at derailment have made it into a bonus episode. No doubt. No doubt they have. Which listeners can access if you join us at patreon.com forward slash. Lawmenpod. And you will also get access to the law folk discord where you get to chat with like-minded law folk. Thank you very much to everyone who already does that. Thank you very much to Lawrence for editing this. Cheers Lawrence. Get tickets for my tour as a Christmas present for yourself or others. Yes. Yes. Or a missing diplomat.

Oh. Just another little sidebar, and I don't think I can explain this because it was bigger boys that did this. So some of my friends have our older brothers, and they were also friends. So we sort of heard tell of their ways. Oh, yeah. And one of them managed to come up with his own format of currency where he could manipulate other people into doing stuff for him.

I mean, he would dispense what were called sex points. Sex points? Yeah. And what does sex points mean? Sex prizes? You've got to hope so. But this is in the days before like, you know, like coffee shops and loyalty cards and stuff like that. So he was before NFTs, before the blockchain.

Exactly. He's kind of come up with the with the coffee stamp. He was ahead of his time, really. Yeah, exactly. Anyway, I have no further explanation. nation.