Loremen Podcast - Loremen S6Ep42 - The Spectral Bridegroom

Episode Date: November 20, 2025

Sure, this starts with a derailment. But a derailment BY Alasdair? What crazy mixed up episode is this? Well, most of it is a classic ghost story from Cornwall. Featuring a fast-thinking blacksmith, a humble servant, a burst horse and a bit of magick. ⁠⁠See Alasdair On Tour in 2026!⁠⁠ Edited by ⁠⁠⁠Laurence Hisee⁠⁠⁠ Join the LoreFolk at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/loremenpod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ko-fi.com/loremen⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Check the sweet, sweet merch here... ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.teepublic.com/stores/loremen-podcast?ref_id=24631⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ @loremenpod ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠youtube.com/loremenpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/loremenpod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.facebook.com/loremenpod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Black Friday is here at IKEA, and the clock is taking on savings you won't want to miss. Join IKEA family for free today and unlock deals on everything from holiday must-haves to cozy at-home essentials, all the little and big things you need to make this season shine. But don't wait. Like leftovers at midnight, our Black Friday offers won't last. Shop now at IKEA.ca.ca. slash Black Friday. IKEA, bring home to life. It was just another holiday party until Michelle arrived with a chocolate basque cheesecake. Two rich cocoa's caramelized top, which Michelle claimed to have just whipped together.

But the evidence told another story. An empty PC box, a receipt in her purse. All right, Susan, I bought the PC chocolate basque cheesecake. It was just $11. Can you stop true craming me? Can I have another slice? Try the season's biggest hits. from the PC Holiday Insiders Report. Welcome to Lawmen, a podcast about local legends and obscure curiosities from Days of Yore,

with me, James Shakeshaft. And me, Alastair Beckett King. Get your Sawester jacket on. I'm wearing it. I'm always wearing it when I speak to you, James. We're going to the ends of the, uh, of England we're going all the way down

the end of Cornwall today to hear the tale of the Spectre bridegroom Spoiler alert Hey Alistair. We'll see how the derailer likes it when he becomes the derailee. Oh, the penny has become the train. The signalman's asleep. He's asleep at the wheel.

It's normally a wheel in the signal box. He hasn't even got to work. What's that doing there? James, hello. Hi, Alistair. I've already derailed the episode before we'd even started. You did? Good derailment. How's it going?

Very well, thank you for asking. Good to know. I want to tell you a tale from a pamp. This, whilst it is, definitely in the realm of pampth is held together by staples. This publication has given us so much stuff so far. And it's given this more. And I've even earmarked a couple of other stories for a later date. What a fine pamp. This is a great pamp. It's called Demons, Ghosts and Spectres in Cornish folklore by Robert Hunt. And it was sent him by sea swine. Verity. Thank you very much.

Thank you, Verity. It's from the Tormark series. And it's got a list of all. the other books, or PAMFs, rather, I'm presuming, in that set. And I've sort of underlined a couple to go and look up and see if I can find them on the internet. Also got Devonshire Customs and Superstitions, because I mean, they're right there. It's right next door, isn't it? Yeah. Devonshire Legends.

Devonshire Jokes and Stories. Oh, Devonshire Jokes. Is an entire Pamp. Yeah. Presumably, they're all about being next door sit. Oh, yes. Yeah. Probably making fun of the people in the neighbouring.

counties. Yeah. They'd hate that. There's the pixie book as well. Maybe it's very terribly small and dainty. Yeah, I guess so. Is it terribly dainty? I don't know. It's just a list here. And the one that I definitely want to get is simply called,

Do you know Cornwall? Lovely. I don't know if it's pronounced like that. Is it a test to see if you know Cornwall and you pass it and you're a certificated Cornwall knower? I don't know. It sounds accusatory to me. Do you know Cornwall? I think we need a second book, which is, do you know, do you know Cornwall? To find out if people know anything about that book.

Well, this guy knew Cornwall, by the way. Robert Hunt, who, if you remember from previous times we've talked about this, Pampf, he wrote popular romances of the West of England, which was published in 1865. You remember he's the posthumous son of an able captain? Perhaps I'm not completely alert, because when you said posthumous son, I was like, How is that possible? And then I remembered how that was possible. You've been quite sexist there, assuming that the captain was male. And of course he was driving with his headlights off on his ship because it was daytime.

And he was a goldfish. That's why he didn't need his headlights on. And he used his umbrella to press the lift numbers on days when it was raining. I'm sorry for being sexist. He did a big survey of mine. He founded the Mechanics Institute in Plymouth, and I wanted to look at how much it would cost to join, and it just played the noise. I don't think they would welcome the likes of you and me in the Plymouth Mechanics Institute, James. No. See, I am sure that mechanics are as frightened of me as I am of them, but as a late teen slash early.

20s. James, you are not a late teen. This is, you are misleading the listener. I'm going back into the past. Okay. I was burned by a, by a shady mechanic who massively overcharged me for a job that was very cheap and easy, but I didn't know what it was. So because of that formulative core memory, I'm now distrustful of mechanics and it's, it's not something I'm proud of, and I wish I wasn't distrustful of mechanics, but I just am now. Okay. I don't know if he was a mechanic. It was definitely a surgeon, Robert Hunt, who wrote this.

It's unusual to be a surgeon and a mechanic, even though it's all basically the same, isn't it? It's all just pipes and tubes. I'm seeing a vend... I'm imagining a Venn diagram. Yeah. I guess if barbers used to be surgeons, it makes as much sense that mechanics would be surgeons. Yeah, that's true. I suppose it's like a sliding scale.

Like when you look at like an otter and a seal and a dolphin, you can kind of see like, oh, that's how that happened. I have a feeling evolutionary biologists listening are shaking their heads. But yes, you can kind of see it, can't you? They're shaking their heads at going, oh, wow, he's absolutely nailed that explanation. That's how that happened. Whoa. Shaking their heads in awe.

Yep, but we've just been put out of a job. So, yes, I don't know if he was a mechanic or he just founded the Mechanics Institute. He was an important scientific writer and a fellow of the Royal Society. So I guess he had a lot of overlaps. But also, he was a collector of folklore. It says in his little biog at the beginning of the Pampf that he met possibly the last two full-time wandering storytellers left in Cornwall. Wow.

Which were blind Uncle Anthony James and Billy Frost of St. Just. Great names. Great names. Great names. And very kind of them to take a minute out of being in a Tom White's song in order to speak to us. Yeah, Billy Frost, he's got a quiff, even though Pomade is yet to be invented.

Billy Frost. Blind Uncle Anthony James. I mean, it feels like you've tried to be three blues musicians at the same time. And Billy Frost of St. Just. Old Willie Frost, no, you can't have Willie Frost, that sounds. Dangerous. You want to consult a mechanic or a surgeon. Minimum.

At least a mechanic. If all you've got as a barber, then have a chat. Yeah, do talk. But get it seen to. The barber might be able to give you the hair sweepings from the floor just to warm the affected area. That's a good point, yeah, insulation. Mm-hmm. Okay, well, that isn't what I was here to talk about, Alist.

What I want to talk to you about is the Spectre bridegroom, which, I'll be honest, does slightly give away the ending. Okay. Does the bridegroom start out alive? I'm just going to invest a lot in this person. So, as this begins, long, long ago, there's a farmer and his family, Lenin, or Lenine, and they lived in Boschian, which is a hamlet in Cornwall, right down the end.

Like, it's not quite Land's End, it's just up the coast a little bit, a bit northwest up the coast from Land's End. I looked on maps, I looked at directions, and to walk it, it would take too long. What, from where you are? From where I am now. It simply take too long.

Does that help the listener picture how far away it is? It's too far away from where James is currently. It is far. I didn't want to docks myself, but it is far. Well, good news, you haven't. You've given us very little information. So the family Lennine was a family because they had a son called Frank. Frank Lennine.

He was a little bit spoiled. He was a little bit wayward as well. They also, this family, they also had a servant, a young girl called Nancy Trenoweth, who mostly assisted Mrs. Linine in the various, you know, small farmhouse hold duties. This is Robert's description here. Nancy Trenoweth was very pretty, and although perfectly uneducated, in the sense in which we now employ the term education, she possessed many native graces. And she had acquired much knowledge, really useful to one whose aspirations were probably never rise higher than to be the mistress of a farm of a few acres. Now, I think that's very well

educated, because I don't think I could run any sort of farm. I mean, but you're a strapping lad, James. You look like you'd be useful on a farm. How many, how many pigs do you reckon you could carry? Under each arm? Under each arm, yes. Ooh, good shout. What's the breed? Oh, you've caught me out as a not know of farm things. Yeah, I've been to the, I've been to the old Mechanics Institute. I've picked up a few tricks. The good thing about animal breeds is you can just say the name of a county and it's probably one. So I'm going to say Derbyshire.

Oh, good. Yeah. Okay. Probably the same as any other one, which is maximum one under each arm. I cannot imagine. Unless you could do them in a triangle, like pint pots, if they're piglets, unless you can hold them, you know, in the pub glass triangle. Sorry, James.

You think you could hold, I know you've got big hands. but three piglets held vertically. Like you're getting around in. They'll be wriggling. They'll be wriggling. And getting a round of piglets for the boys. The guy's at the table. Pigs, pigs, pigs, pigs.

She's banging the table. All right, all right, all right. I put my piglet at the front of the triangle. Absolute rookie error. Someone's jostled me and spilt my pig. You're going to buy me a new piglet, man. I don't think Derbyshire is a type of pig, sadly.

Anyway, I think this girl's pretty smart. She was educated by her parents who had certainly never seen the world beyond Penzance. Her ideas of the world were limited to a few miles around the land's end. And it says, although her book of nature was a small one, it had deeply impressed her mind with its influences. And this is a beautiful description here. The wild waste. The small but fertile valley,

the rugged hills with their crowns of cairns, the moors rich in the golden furs and the purple heath. The sun-beaten cliffs and their silver sands were the pages she had studied. Nice. Very nice. Although I can't help but wonder if there's sort of sexy subtext there to the fertile valleys in the mountains. And the hills were the crowns of cairns? Well, I don't know if you've got cairns.

You do want to speak to a mechanic. Oh, yeah. Have a look at, have a check on them C-B and cliffs. Whoa. Maybe it wasn't that sexy, but I just wondered if there was. I mean, not all of it. Well, you know, she's described as very pretty, and yeah, she's there in the house with the wayward son. Oh, dear.

The mother, the elder Nancy Trinoweth, she knew a lot about how the world worked in the natural sense. You know, she exerted over the villages around her a considerable power. They did not exactly fear her. She was too free from evil for that. But they were conscious of a mental superiority. She knew, you know, remedies. She knew how to do stuff, if you know what I mean. So Nancy, like, although she was a servant to this family,

she sort of didn't feel herself as an inferior. It says there was no broadline of division in those days in even the manorial hall, or manorial hall between the Lord and his domestics, and still less defined was the position of the employer and the employed in a small farmhouse. Now, Alistair, you know what? we're about to find out where that line is. I find that extremely implausible. Yes.

This is a bit like when everyone was like, oh, there was no racism in the 1980s. You know, it was. What are you talking about? Oh, big time. It came out, it came in with CBBs. What are you talking about? What are you talking about?

Now, the wayward son and Nancy, Frank, who was rarely checked in anything by his over fond parents, and he was regarded as the Hans. pessimist young man in the parish. And he, it says, he conceived a very warm attachment for Nancy. And she was not a little proud of her lover. Now, weirdly, the parents did not notice the fact that these two hot young things were amorous towards each other. And they were taken by surprise when Frank asked if he could marry Nancy. All right. Well, he's, at least he's approaching this, honestly. Unfortunately, the parents, they did see a difference between the position of employer and

employed in small farmhouse. Oh, that's weird, because I thought that at this time, nobody saw a difference. I didn't think anybody saw a difference in those days, but, oh, that's weird. Well, now they do. This is the one time they refused to indulge his waywardness. I'm not sure, actually, I'm not sure they're just deciding to marry somebody who you like is terribly wayward. Well, yeah, that's a good point. That seems quite reasonable. Yeah, they didn't indulge him in his choices then, rather than waywardness. Because, yeah, you're right, that's not wayward. And they fell out. The parents and the kids fell out. So much so, they got rid of Nancy. They sent her home to Alcya Mill.

I don't need to tell you, it's very nearby. So nearby, you could walk there at night time if you've, you know, popped your pillows under your duvet and climbed out the window as Frank did. Righty-ho. Whether they had pillows and duvets at that time, I do not know. Almost certainly not. It was probably just sheets, probably.

And a couple of piglets. A couple of piglets instead of pillows, yeah. Rarely an evening pass that did not find Nancy and Frank together in some retired nook. They met at the Holy Well. If you look at this place on a map, by the way, everything pings up with like historical stuff. Like, it's all places of interest around their coves and hills and ruins and things. So they met mostly at the Holy Well and they exchanged solemn vows.

They exchange locks of hair. And a wedding ring taken from the finger of a corpse was broken. Yeah. Oh. And they vowed they'd be united either dead or alive. Right. And they even climbed at night the granite pile at Trin and swore by the Logan Rock this vow to each other

that they were united, dead or alive. Young people, they're too much on their phones with the TikTok and the climbing of granite piles. Yes. Come on. Yeah. Now, and this is another, you might be able to read some sourciness into this next extract.

Time passed onward thus unhappily, and as the result of the endeavours to quench out the passion by force, it grew stronger under the repressing power and, like imprisoned steam, eventually burst through all restraint. So, uh, Nancy got pregnant. The moonlight meetings between two untrained impulsive youths had a natural result, if you know what I mean. Okay, right. So that, yes, I see what, I see what's happening here. The Linines are still, they're not going for it. They're not going to let them even have this marriage that they kind of need to do at this time. So he sends Frank to Plymouth and sends him away to sea, hoping thus to wean him from his folly as he considered this love madness. Now, Frank, he succumbed to his father and he was sent on a ship to India and bidded you to his native land.

And Nancy never heard from him because he couldn't write. Do you mean that he was illiterate? I guess so. It says Frank could not write. And this happened in days when letters could be forwarded only with extreme difficulty. Consequently, Nancy never heard from her lover. Oh, that's a shame. The child grew and it became a favourite of their elder Nancy, the grandmother.

And, you know, they kind of got over it, not got over it, but they got on with their lives. They live for the child and the memory of the father. But Nancy was always convinced that wherever Frank might be that she was present with him. Do you know what I mean? Like, she felt that no distance could separate their souls. This is a very sad story, actually. Oh, don't worry. It gets sadder. I was set up to think the wayward son was going to be the villain in the piece,

but he seems all right. Well, then a period of distress falls upon the Trinowitz. And Nancy has to go back into service, and the grandmother's looking after the baby. Grandmother, Nancy. Grandmar, Nancy, yeah. Nancy the first. Exactly. it's been nearly three years since Frank's left and there's no sign of him at all actually

because he can't even write to his parents because he can't even write because he can't write. It doesn't know how to write. Nancy kind of falls into a bit of a maybe a bad circle because it comes to all Hallows Eve or as you and I know at Halloween and two of Nancy's companions persuade her not a very difficult task to go with them and sow hemp seed. Right. Is that, is that illegal at this time? Is that a euphemism of some kind? If you listen to the incantation that they say when they sow this seed, you might get an idea.

So Nancy was the first to sow, and she advanced saying she scattered the seed, hemp seed I sow thee, hemp seed I grow thee, and he who will my true love be come after me and shore thee. I think it means show and show thee. That seems fine. That seems fine. She repeated it three times, and she looked back over her left shoulder, and she saw Frank but he looked so angry that she shrieked with fear. She shrieked with fear.

Because there are loads of these traditions that on All Hallows Eve, you can do a little ritual and see the person who you're going to marry. Yeah. I've never heard a hemp-based one, but that's very sustainable. Yeah. Yeah, she did it and she saw him, but he looked furious. Why is he furious? Yeah.

And then one of the other girls did it, and she saw a vision of a white coffin. And now they're all terrified because, you know, I think they probably didn't really expect it to work, but it very much did. These are simple country folk, James. They're superstitious. If you and I saw like a furious ghost and then a coffin, we would be blasé about it. Yeah, exactly. But these people are going to be frightened and startled.

Definitely. And so it came into November and there were big storms down there. And during one terrific night, a large vessel was thrown upon the rocks in Bernouill Cliff. That does sound terrific. Yeah. And it was smashed on the rocks beaten by the impetuous waves. She was soon in pieces. What's going on? The waves are too impetuous, sir.

They shikani hold. I don't know why I didn't do. I sort of said it like Scotty would say it without bothering to do a Scottish accent for no reason. Without bothering to do, what are the easiest. Without bothering to do an impression of a Canadian man doing an impression of a Scottish man. Yes. the bodies of the crew were washed ashore, and presumably now in a red tunic top, washed ashore was Frank Lanine.

Oh, I thought he was in India. He was, but the boat was coming back, but he hadn't been able to write anyone to tell him. Oh, so he nearly made it. He didn't. He wasn't even dead when they found him, but I mean, yeah, you might not need to be Sherlock Holmes to guess that he dies shortly after, but he lived long enough to speak, begging people to send for Nancy so that he could make her his wife before he died. And he was taken to Bosca and but he died as soon as he reached the town place.

His parents didn't even tell Nancy. What? They didn't even tell her. This shouldn't be called the wayward son. This should be called the horrible parents. The bad parents. He was buried in Burian Churchyard. In Berrien churchyard.

Berrien. You kill him we Berrien. Yeah, it's, come on. Let's have a bit of dignity, a bit of solemnity at this difficult time, please. I apologize. No, I'm talking to the churchyard. I mean, that's a bit flippant as a name. But on the night of the funeral, Nancy, who didn't know about this funeral, went about a normal business,

locking the door of the house, and she looked out into the night, and she saw a horseman approaching. In hot haste, it says here, and called her by her name, Nancy! And hailed her in a voice that made her blood boil because it was the voice of Frank. And it was her sweetheart's favorite cult that he used to ride, they used to ride around a lot when they used to knock around. It's like a modern equivalent. He's turning up in his hot hatchback.

He's rooted up Vauxhall Nova and bipping the horn. Yeah. Blasting a cold play track on the cassette player. Maybe not that. So she couldn't quite make out the rider's face and he looked very sorrowful and deadly pale. But she knew it was Frank. And he says that he's arrived home

and he's got his horse to fetch her, make her his bride. She's so excited. She's so happy. She jumped on the horse behind. mind him. But when she took his hand to get up onto the saddle, a cold shiver passed through her. And as she grabbed his waist as they rode off, her arm became as stiff as ice, and she lost all power of speech. And she started to feel a fear, but she didn't know why. See, again, it's because she's a simple country girl. If you and I got a backer off a ghost,

we wouldn't be alarmed at all because we would know what the deal was. We know the score. I've been to London. I don't think this is intentional sourcingness here, but they came at last to Trove Bottom. Very nice. There was no bridge at that time, and they rode across the river, and the moon shone full in their faces, and Nancy looked into the stream. I guess she looks at the reflection out of the stream, and she sees that the rider is in a shroud and grave clothes.

Yeah, that is not possible to do. That didn't happen, I'm sorry. You can't, while riding through the river, see the reflection of the rider on the horse that you're on. Just, come on, optically, that didn't happen. Maybe she just looked directly in front of her, and she saw that she was being carried away by a spirit. And the horse is galloping and galloping and galloping and, you know, this horse slash hot hatchback, it shouldn't be getting this sort of mileage. And they came near the blacksmith's shop in Burry and Church.

And you remember where Burying Churches? I mean, we noticed that name earlier. Yes, yeah. You got an idea why he might be riding back there. I do indeed. And in a way, a blacksmith is just the mechanic of this era. So it's all really dovetailing in nicely. Well, maybe we should, I should trust more mechanics because she calls out to the blacksmith, because he's still up. He's in his room going, dink. He's not at the ch-stage because he's got a red-hot iron in his hand. And as the horse rushes by, he grabs her dress and tries to pull her to the ground. However, the spirit sees as the other end of her dress with a grasp like that of a vice.

And the horse is still going, and she's Nancy and the smith are getting dragged along. They've got to the arms houses, which, as you and I know, are very near the churchyard. It's quite, they're all, everything's quite near in this. Yeah. And the horse stopped, presumably, to kind of leap over the churchyard wall. And the Smith used his red hot iron to burn off the portion of the dress that the rider was holding, saving Nancy. And the rider jumped over the wall into the churchyard and vanished. Wow.

They took the girl back to her parents in Alcia, and she spoke no word but to ask for a child. and she requested her mother to give the child to Linnean's parents, and she wanted to be buried in his grave. And before the morning light fell on the world, Nancy had breathed her last breath. Oh. And a horse, which is, you know, the horse, it was Linene's cult,

passed through the town like a ball from a musket, and was found dead on Bernouille cliff. So the horse died too? Yeah, covered in foam, eyes forced out of its head, with its swollen tongue hanging out of its mouth, which is pretty grim. Oh, he's forced out of its head.

Don't include that detail. It basically popped. Oh, I can't believe he popped a horse. He popped a horse due to ghost. Oh. And on the grave, do you know what they found? Hey, something really disgusting? No, a singed piece of dress.

Oh, just like... The bit that would have been in his hand. That's a real sort of point-and-click adventure game solution. Like, she's being dragged away. What are you doing? You're going to burn the dress off with a red-hot poker? That doesn't sound like a thing you can actually do. That doesn't work.

Exactly, but in this case it does work. Now, one of the other sailors on that wreck did actually survive, and he told how, on All Hallows Eve, Lenin was like one mad. They could scarcely keep him in the ship. He seemed more asleep than awake, and after great excitement, he fell as if dead upon the deck and lay so for hours.

When he came to himself, he told them he'd been taken to the village of Kim Yarl, and that if he ever married, the woman who'd cast the spell, he would make her suffer the longest days she had to live for drawing his soul out of his body. Oh. Yeah, it was a revenge, because it's not very nice, evidently, having your soul pulled out of your body. Yeah, but come on, she didn't mean to.

No, it's pretty grim. I mean, there's no winners in this story. What a miserable and sad story, and then the horse popped. This is horrible, champ. Why did you make us listen to this story, James? This is the most horrible story we've ever done. It is, but it's timely. Yeah.

Because it happened in November. Right, okay. I thought a horse had recently popped in the news. I don't know. I haven't checked the news. If it is, if that has happened in the news. It would be terribly bad taste if it just happened. Yes, I apologies if you've been affected by any of the horse popping in this episode.

So you ready to score? I am ready to score, yeah. Nice. So first up, naming. Well, I enjoy the main character's called Lenin. That's fun. I enjoy You Kill and Weberium Churchyard.

Good, good name. Can I just remind you of Blind Uncle Anthony James and Billy Foster's I completely forgot about Blind Uncle Anthony James, which seems like a whole queue of guys, but it's just one person. What was her surname? She had one of those lovely sort of Cornish surnames. Nancy Trenoweth.

Trenoweth, beautiful. They all start with Trette in that area, don't they? Or they stick a Zed in. Yeah, oh, there's a lot of Zeds, yes. Logan Rock, Tren, Tren, the Holy Well, Plymouth. Yes, such glamorous names. What was the name of that granite? Oh, that's the Holy Rock that they climbed up, is it?

Logan Rock. Logan Rock, yes. That they creveled, and made their, well, made their oath to be married in this life and or the next. United either dead or alive. Wow. Trove Bottom. Big, okay, all right,

I was about to say three. But then Trove Bottom came, approached the table. Three piglets in his hands. It's a four. It's a four for naming. Triple piglet. Triple big.

Next up then, next category. Supernatural. What extremely supernatural. Ever so. There's no explanation for any of these events. No. Without a soul, to write out of the body, much to the sole owner's irritation.

Yeah. And also you've got the, you know, the sort of the natural medicine type vibes of the elder Nancy Trennerworth. Yes, indeed. She's kind of got a little bit witchy vibes. Slightly witchy vibes, yes. And you've got the sowing of the hemp seed. The sowing of a hemp seed, that ritual.

Little sidebar, the friend that saw the white coffin also died within a year. Oh, bad look. That probably happened all the time in those days, but still. And we've got the actual ghost materializing. And it's very spookily done. Him coming up in his in his Voxal Nova slash favorite horse. Very good. Yeah.

No, it's five out of five for supernatural James. Yes. And then the last little remnant of rag. So it wasn't a dream. Yes. On the grave. The singed rag on the grave. Probably it was real.

It was slightly down into the earth. Yeah. in a way that there's, like, it can't have been poked in like that. Nobody could have poked it in. I'm an expert on poking and pulling, and I say that was pulled. It says a nearby mechanic. Okay, Alastair, category the third. Yes.

Now go with me on this. Okay. Designated dire. As in designated driver. But dying. One who dies, but someone who's dying. But D-I-E, not D-Y-E. Yes.

Although I've actually written it, I've just realized I've written it down incorrectly. Well, I'll have to take your first answer. Nobody was involved in the dying industry. No, but there were some people involved in the dying industry. Exactly. The Berrien churchyard. Yes, I suppose. Pal them high, bury them deep.

Yeah, the Halloween ritual pointed the finger and his days were numbered. He was the designated dire. Yes. And also, it's like designated driver because we have the little pub thing with the piglets. We had a little pub thing, getting all the pigs in, getting around a pigs. Non-alcoholic piglets? Yes, absolutely. Oh no, what would you have as a bar snack? Yeah, would you have beer scratching in this topsy-turvy world? What even is a beer scratching? Just some sort of yeast bites. I guess a yeast snack, which sounds revolting, but probably quite nice,

actually. Not to a vegan. That's basically Satan, isn't it? Yeast. Isn't Satan basically a yeast? Isn't Satan basically a snack? I'm saying it's not, it doesn't sound gross to a vegan. Oh, I see what you mean. I've just realized you're saying, I think you're saying Satan, not Satan.

I realize you mean the wheat-based meat substitutes, not the enemy of our Lord Jesus. No, no, not the fallen one or whatever, you know, the Lord of the Flies.

Yes, no. Lucy, is that his full name? Yeah, yeah, he's got so then. Jesus H. Christ and Lucifer's morning. Lucy of a Morning Star. And I bet, to be honest, I bet his mum used that a lot because he was a bit naughty. He certainly was.

Although I think the Lord of the Flies was Beelzebub, the different... Isn't Beelzebub a sin? Is that does as another name for Satan? Or is it a whole different devil? Well, maybe. Depends on a you ask, I think. Three out of five. Three out of five for...

Like three little piglets. Designated... Yeah, exactly. A little triangle of piglets coming back from the bar. That's the maximum number of piglets a man can hold at once. I don't think you have any... idea how big piglets get, but okay. I don't think you have any idea how

determined I am when coming back for the bar. When he says he's getting around in, he means it and he means pigs. And I mean I will do it in one trip. Okay, then my final category is it'll cost you. Yes, yes, because mechanics

famously ripped you off. One mechanic ripped you off. And now the entire breed are condemned for all eternity. But it's the sort of thing a mechanic would say in, for example, a carry-on film or, you know, an old-school film of that sort, it'll cost you. Absolutely. It's a simple-shaped thing for a mechanic to say. And a mechanic probably scorns Jesus when he was carrying the grass, probably.

They'd probably, oh, I don't know, I could sort that out, but, mm-hmm, hmm. Oh, putting the nails in like that. No, if you want him to last, but go on, go ahead. Yeah, it'll cost you. Sowing those hemp seeds, doing those rights. Very costly. You're going to pull someone's soul out the very face of them. You're going to pull his soul out his face.

You're going to pop that horse, his eyeballs out. You've popped a horse. Don't pop a horse. Why do we keep bringing it up? I don't know. I can't stop thinking about it. The popped horse. Sorry, everyone.

So sorry. The illicit trists. Yeah. You rarely hear about licit trists. they're almost always illicit. Yeah. Yeah, just tristing the night away, for example, I guess would be. Yeah, terrific night.

Oh, no, the other kind of terrific night where a ship is thrown onto the rocks. Mm-hmm. Yeah, impetuous waves. Too impetuous. So cheeky. Yeah, sorry, this ship was built for cheeky waves, but these are impetuous. Those are the it'll cost cheese. Yes, so I guess it's up to me to, uh,

to put a figure on it, yeah? Yeah. Yeah, well, if you'd call me sooner, it might have been a lower score, but I'm going to have to say the full five. Yes, yes. And I'm, you know, I'm making a loss on that. You're doing me a favour?

Yeah, yeah, I'm doing a favour. I wouldn't do that for everyone, but that's mates rates. A lovely trip to the wall of corn there, James. Yeah, lovely and terrifying and a bit gross. Yeah, yeah, actually a bit horrible. I imagine there will be a couple of bits from that that got cut out, which will be in the bonus episode,

which is available at patreon.com forward slash lawmen pod. It's Patreon only. Think of the quality they must be getting. If you support us there, you will get to join the Lawfolk Discord where you will meet like-minded Lawfolk. Think of the quality chat that must be going. on. Thank you very much all the people that do already support us in that way. And thank you very much to Lawrence for editing this episode. Thank you, Lawrence.

A popped horse. Dang! Good good. I tried to take five plates out of a dishwasher. No, wait a minute. Four plates out of a dishwasher with one hand once. Oh, oh. Even with yours. I smashed a plate. Only one, that's not bad.

The attrition right there is acceptable. So I put my hand in and put a plate between each finger and then tried to pick them all up at once like I was Edward. And then your mistake was fanning them like a magician to show off. It was showing off.