Loremen Podcast - Loremen S6Ep5 - The Cursed Fortune, Cornwall

Episode Date: February 27, 2025

Listener beware! Loremen is not a financial advice podcast, BUT if you are offered untold riches by an aged ghost who departs with a devilish laugh — that's probably a bad sign. James tells Alasdair a real chiller from Cornwall for our 250th episode! This episode was edited by Joseph Burrows - Audio Editor Join the LoreFolk here... patreon.com/loremenpod ko-fi.com/loremen Check the sweet, sweet merch here... https://www.teepublic.com/stores/loremen-podcast?ref_id=24631 @loremenpod youtube.com/loremenpodcast www.instagram.com/loremenpod www.facebook.com/loremenpod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Whether you own a bustling hair salon or a hot new bakery, you need business insurance that can keep up with your evolving needs. With flexible coverage options from TV Insurance, you only pay for what you need. TD. Ready for you. Welcome to Lawmen, a podcast about local legends and obscure curiosities from days of yore. I'm James Shake Shaft. And I'm Alistair Beckett King. And Alistair is a special episode. It's the 250th episode.

The sweet 250 and in honor of it I am doing a very very chilling tale it is the cursed fortune Hey Alistair. Hey James. Do you know what episode number this is? I don't know, something really small and unimpressive, like seven. Series four, episode five. On the one hand, yes, it was actually series six, isn't it? I've done the numbers.

I've run the numbers. Have you run the numbers, James? Yeah, I run them. I ran them around a bit. Yeah, James is running numbers. And you know what? This is episode 250 probably, unless my maths is bad. Ooh, a cool quarter mil, where mil is a thousand.

Yes, yeah, in the Latin sense. A quarter mil. A quarter K. Yeah, a quarter K. It doesn't sound that impressive. 250 episodes, wow. But Alistair, I did not bring you here to reminisce. I brought you here to tell you about the Ghost of Roseworn.

Oh, is Roseworn a person or a place? It's a place in Cornwall. This tale comes from Demons, Ghosts and Spectres in Cornish folklore, which was given to me by C. Swine aka Verity, a Lorefolk at the recent Loreman Live gig. Thank you very much. Oh, thank you Verity. And yeah, this is Demon, Ghosts and Spectres in Cornish folklore by Robert Hunt. No Alistair, not the American footballer for the guard for the Carolina Panthers born in 1996.

Oh, not him. Not that Robert Hunt. And no Alistair, it's not the English footballer who plays right back for Colchester United. He was born in 1995. It's not him. Not him. No, not the Colchester guy. And Alistair, no, it's not the Robert Hunt that is an NFL offensive lineman, born in 1981.

Ouch! I don't know. I don't know if that's a lineman that is particularly offensive or somebody who makes offensive lines. And I just brainstormed offensive lines. I mean, the first one I thought of is the one that kind of looks like the Manx flag, but with an extra leg, if you know what I mean. Yes, that is perhaps the most offensive line.

That's the most offensive number of lines, or maybe the dotted line emanating from the tip of a classic schoolyard CMB. Emblem, yes. A sigil. Yes, that's, that's quite an offensive line. That's a very offensive line. Yes. A sigil. Yes. That's, that's quite an offensive line. That's a very offensive line. Yeah. Also Alistair, I'm not talking about the Robert Hunt that's a South African rubber union tight-headed prop. A tight-headed prop?

Or tight-head prop. Who was born in 1996. I don't know what a tight-head prop is. This is such a sporty name. Everyone with this name is a professional sportsman. Apart from, it's not also not the Robert Hunt that's the American musical theatre actor. I haven't got a birthdate for him, actors. Who was the star of Boobs the Musical. I'm sure he's a sporty fellow as well. By the way, Boobs the Musical is the story of Ruth Wallace, who was a novelty popular cabaret singer from the early 20th century. I would have called it boobsicle. Exclamation mark.

Muse, the boobsicle. It sounds more like a stag do frozen snack. Oh yeah, boobsicle. Yeah. By the way, a quote about Ruth Wallace as part of her songs, she often took on an accent for songs about characters from other countries. Nice. Maybe she should get a job as an offensive linebacker. She sounds like she'd be spilling, spitting some offensive lines.

Boom. And no, Alistair, the Robert Hunt that wrote Demon's Ghosts and Spectres in Cornish folklore is not the American screenwriter and director Jim Calf, who is sometimes credited as Bob Hunt. So we're not talking about that guy. No, we're talking about the Robert Hunter was born in 1807, the British mini-erologist. It's easy for me to say. Small-erologist. Minnearologist. It's easy for me to say. Or small earologist. He was a professor at the Royal School of Mines. So up until this point in the episode, it's just been disambiguation.

Yeah. I just want it. Yeah. I was getting through a did you mean in live times. He was the author of Popular Romances of the West of England in 1865, this Robert Hunt. By the way, in his work as a scientist, he did some physical and chemical investigations, which I don't think is a euphemism, with Robert Werefox. That is a great name.

That's a great name. It's a great name whether it means, where is the fox or like werewolf, werefox. It doesn't say that he did, that he didn't every full moon turn into a fox. Every full moon is wearing a little jerkin, smoking a little pipe. Stealing those chickens. Which is why I imagine foxes do. Stealing chickens, that's the other thing foxes do. It's not all smoking tiny things.

No, they do have to go out to work. But Alistair, the story I've got to tell you, it's a chiller. It is actually quite a scary story. Are you ready? I am. Okay. Good. That's good.

So this is the ghost of Rose Warren. And now again, I've got a great name right at the start here. Our main character, our protagonist is called Ezekiel Gross. Or Grosser. It's the German GROR-O-S-S-E, Großer. But I'm going to go with Gross. Who was a gentleman, Ezekiel Gross, attorney at law. Oh, great.

Is he really attorney at law? This is a real person from the 1640s and he bought the lands of Roseworn from the De Roseworn family. That is a point of fact in the historical record that did actually happen. It's also a point of fact that he wore like little braces. Then he would put his thumbs in his little braces and just stretch it out, his little braces and say, if it please the court and say things like that. Johanna, it occurs to me.

He did an accent that did not yet exist. Yeah. He did an accent that did not yet exist. Yeah, he invented that accent. Someone because it was the 1640s and he was in Cornwall. Maybe one of the old Mayflower gang heard him and thought, you know what? Let's go to America and create small town lawyers. Start a new life and pretend that's our actual accent. Ah, Ezekiel Gross. 20th law. Oh, thatth law.

Oh, that's good. Cause I was looking for a voice for him. Cause there's quite a few quotes. So I'm going to use, well, you found it. I'm going to use the full Cornleghorn voice. So yeah, he bought the lands from the, of Roseworn from the DeRoseworn family. And it puts it very delicately here that the family, so he bought the lands from one of the de Rose Warne's who had become involved in difficulties by endeavouring without

sufficient means to support the dignity of his family. Yeah. I see. Now this is not, we've now, from now on deviated from historical record here. This is all conjecture. If the- That's off road. If the grosses of nowadays want to take me to court and try me for slander, that first of all, they're barely doing it in a Southern accent, but second of all, this is all conjecture and

a story from a book. Okay. So there's reason to, but according to locals, there was reason to believe that Ezekiel, who had been the legal advisor for the Rose Warns was not over honest in his transactions with the client. Ooh. It's implied that this guy was a dodgy lawyer. I don't know about you, Alistair, but given how much in literature, pop culture, aside from the John Grisham period, almost always lawyers were dodgy, right?

And in real life, this is continued. I'm very nervous whenever dealing with solicitors or lawyers. You sort of assume, don't you? Because it's a good job being a solicitor. It's like being a doctor. And so you assume that solicitors are probably all pretty smart, sharp as a tack, very on it until you have caused to have any dealings with the solicitor. And then you're terrified.

And it's like someone's just stretched a toddler out and put them in a suit. And they, I don't know, this is the conveyancer for our flat. I never saw her not covered in crumbs. She's covered in crumbs. Were you just eating a sandwich like a second before I saw you? What's going on? What's with the crumbs? I just, I'm just at every point when I was going through my buy another house thing, because we're middle-aged men and we didn't have smashed avocado.

So we're both homeowners. We did all of our avocados and smashed. But I was just, every time I had to sign something, it felt like this was the first step in a series of events that would leave me penniless and destitute or in jail because I was being hoodwinked. It feels exactly like that. I think it's probably like estate agents and teachers and solicitors, even if you've had an encounter with a good one of the breed, you're almost guaranteed. Cause there's always a, you know, there's always another solicitor.

So even if you like your solicitor, you'd still deal with that other solicitor for the other person. So you've almost guaranteed to encounter a bad teacher, a bad estate agent. And so I guess this is why they're so hated because you're almost guaranteed to have had a terrible experience with them. Or in pop culture, or not even pop culture, I mean, this is a book from the 1875. In pop culture, like the folklore books from the 19th century that we read. This pamphlet version, which was published at Chex Notes, 1991.

No, so anyway, yeah. So, but this Ezekiel Gross, according to the stories, was through dodgy dealings bought the DeRose-Wan lands. And he had scarcely made Rosewan his dwelling place before he was alarmed by noises. Ooh, a little bit of spooky justice. Also spooky justice, possible name for a crime fighter. Oh, yeah. I'm still thinking a sort of black exploitation character

that maybe assists or tries to defeat. Ezekiel Groh. Ezekiel Gross. Ezekiel Gross. A tiny little law. He's slightly sliding towards New York there with the accent. It always will. Yes.

So it's like literally his first night there, there's noises of an unearthly character and then one very dark night. And that unearthly character is Spooky Justice. Yes. Yes, it is. Spooky Justice sounds like the sidekick to like a sort of. Yeah. I don't think you can have spooky justice in every episode.

It's like, it feels like it's a reboot of Randall and Hopkirk deceased, but like a modern one and their kids. One night, one dark night, Ezekiel Gross saw the ghost himself in the form of a worn and aged man. And first of all, he saw him in the park. So just in the grounds of a worn and aged man. And first of all, he saw him in the park. So just in the grounds, there's a weird figure. I'll ignore it. It's a big house.

I've got plenty of other things to be worrying about. Like, yeah, trick of the light. Yeah, probably. It's probably just probably that plumber had a week ago. Yeah. It's probably just a bin bag in a bush, but no subsequent nights that bin in a bush was still, that bin bag in a bush was still there and always after dark. Now it says here, Ezekiel Gross was not a man to be terrified at trifles. No, I wasn't picturing him as a man who was

terrified of trifles. I mean, he would be shook by a tiramisu. I would imagine the technology was not there in those days. No, they'd never, he'd never seen a crème brûlée. He wouldn't know what was happening. That's the thing, Alistair, because puddings, if sufficiently advanced are indistinguishable from magic. I think that by mangling of that phrase is, is that is the through line of this series. That is the cherry on top or underneath. I don't know.

If you showed him an upside down cake, he'd try and get on the ceiling because he'd be confused. But a trifle, he's fine. Oh my God. Could you imagine him seeing a Banoffee pie? I don't think it's possible. That would blow his mind. And when he heard the name.

He's not terrified. Banana and toffee. He says, he paid but slight attention to his nocturnal visitor. But the ghost is like coming into his room now. And it says, and this is a great word that I'm going to start using. I'm not quite sure what it means, but it's never stopped me before. How be it? All one word.

The repetition of visits and certain mysterious indications on the part of the specter became annoying to Ezekiel. And so one night he's in his office, he's examining some deeds and he's quite irritable because he's lost an important suit, again, presumably lawyer. Law suit, yeah. Because you'd think the braces would keep them in place. Well, that's why he's got them. The visitor's in his office and it says, making some strange indications which the lawyer could not understand. So,

it's not said anything yet. It's just doing some- So, it's kind of charades at this point. Maybe charades didn't exist back then. Two words. First word, get. second word, out. No, God, what wantest thou? And the ghost replied, finally the ghost can talk. It's like it couldn't talk until it was allowed to kind of thing. Like a child at school. To show, to show the Ezekiel gross where the gold for which thou longest lies buried.

I think we can trust this ghost. As Bobby Hunt points out, no one ever lived upon whom the greed of gold was stronger than on Ezekiel. Yet, he hesitated and trembled as the ghost slowly delivered himself in sepulchral tomes of this telling speech. So he wants the gold, but he's a bit nervous because it was told to him by a ghost, which I think is fair enough. Yeah.

You've got to consider the source of your information. He longed to obtain possession of the secret, yet he feared to ask him where he was to find this treasure. And the specter's like just staring at him, like, I know you want gold. I know you're scared. I kind of like it. And at length, lifting his finger, he beckoned Ezekiel to follow him. And he's like goes to turn out the room, looks back, Ezekiel stuck in his seat. He's not got the strength to move.

So come, said the ghost in a hollow voice. Still Ezekiel couldn't move. And then it says, gold, exclaimed the man in a whining tone, though in a louder key. He just shouted the word gold. Come on. He's like, he's trying to get a kid to do with it. Come on. Or a little dog.

Come on. Gold. Gold. Where? Gosped Ezekiel. Follow me and I will show thee. But still Ezekiel can't get up. He's stuck in his chair.

And then, I command thee to come. Almost shrieked the ghost. And now Ezekiel felt compelled to follow. And he follows him out, out of the hall, into the park, over the fields, following this ghost that was gliding in front of him, illuminated by a peculiar phosphorescence until they arrived at a little dell. Scientifically impossible. Why sir, you are no more than the banaffid pie on tiramisu I ate earlier.

Ezekiel was dead. Dead as a doornail. Or was it coffin nail? Anyway. Happy March everyone. Enjoy your march. Oh, it gets even more Christmasy, by the way. So they arrive at a little Dell and on it is a small can formed of granite

boulders and the spectres just sort of floats there and Ezekiel approaches it and he's standing looking at the can, trembling, looking at the old ghost who was staring right at him and the ghost says, Ezekiel, gross, thou longest for gold as I did. I won the glittering prize, but I could not enjoy it. Heaps of treasure are buried beneath those stones. It is thine if thou diggest for it. Win the gold, Ezekiel. Glitter with the wicked ones of the world, and when thou art the most joyous, I will

look in upon thy happiness." And then the ghost disappeared. So it's win-win. It's all good. Here's the gold, mate. Get in there. I maybe ignore the line glitter with the wicked ones of the world. Yeah, actually, to be fair, that did seem a little concerning. Finally, Gross manages to recover himself and he exclaims,

Ghost our devil, I will soon prove whether or not thou liest. One, two, brace is off. And he sort of heard a faint laugh echoing between the hills as he said those words. And so he noted the spot, went back to his house and thought, thought about it for a bit. And then a few nights later under the cover of darkness, darkness, darkness, darkness, darkness, darkness, darkness, the most Loch Ness, Loch Ness, the most Loch Nesty. Anyway, he went back with the aid of a crowbar and overturned the stones and he started digging and didn't dig far and his spade struck against something, something metal.

Oh, sorry. It was a metallic urn of some kind, which was too heavy to lift. So he covers it up again because dawn is starting to break Replaces the stone sufficiently to hide it from the observation of any chance wanderer And he returns the next night opens the urn which was made of bronze and it contained gold coins of a very ancient date So he filled his pockets with the treasure returned home. There's still more treasure out there So over the next few nights as it says here without exciting the suspicions of his servants, he visited the urn and managed to remove all the treasure to the

house kind of I'm guessing great escape style, just sort of tickling out coins out his trousers legs, but the opposite of the greatest scape. So he will be sucking them up. Like a Hoover. Jingle, jingle like It's like a Hoover. Jingle jingle. Like your nan's made Hoover. Like my, yeah, like my nan's French made Hoover. People who can't find that particular episode.

You remember the knitted sort of character that would cover toilet roles in the eighties, one of them, but massive to cover a Hoover. Done. And a Hoover is what British people call a vacuum cleaner. So now you have all the information to understand that. As Bobby Hunt says, there was nothing in the series of circumstances which had surrounded Ezekiel which he could less understand than the fact that the ghost of the old man had left off troubling him from the moment when he disclosed to him the hiding place of this

treasure. Weirdly, and perhaps he should pay more attention to this, the bit that's confused Ezekiel the most is as soon as the ghost told him about the treasure and he took it, the ghost stopped haunting him. Right. Even though the ghost said that that's what was going to happen. But that is a red flag for me. For me, that's a red flag because the ghost was coming there every night. He started off as a bin bag in the hedge and then he ended up as, you know, a

weird Sherrard's partner in his office. Told him about some gold, said, have some gold, briefly alluded to the evil people in the world and then disappeared once he'd taken the gold. Not cool. Ezekiel Gross started spending his money. He started, he got the latest fancy carriage. No doubt he did up the house. He was wearing even fancier suits and braces made out of real seersucker.

Dunno. Dunno what that is. Seersucker. Oh no, I do not. I looked up seersucker. It's very fine white and blue stripes. Right. You know, that sort of material? Yeah, I think so. It's kind of got a bit of a texture to it.

It's like a bobbly. It looks a little bit bumpy and it's like very fine stripes. That's what Searsucker is. So yeah, he's ostentatiously parading his power to procure all earthly enjoyments. And Ghosts not gonna like that. Well, in spite of his notoriously bad character, he's drawing many of the landed proprietors around him. He's stopped being a lawyer. He's now just a country gentleman. Things are going

well for Ezekiel. He's going to London in his own carriage and it says here he is not without a large circle of flatterers. He was a lawyer who'd struggled so hard in his early life to secure wealth. He did not always employ the most honest means for doing so, now found himself the center of a circle to whom he could preach honesty and receive from them expressions of the admiration in which the world holds the possessor of gold. Bit of social commentary there. Bit of a backhanded compliment or a four handed diss. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure which way around it was, but he's basically saying, yeah, people are being nice to you because you got money, mate. The Lord Roseworn was the Lord of the West. To him, everyone bowed the knee. He walked the earth as the proud possessor of a large share of the planet. He's having parties and his biggest party was Christmas Eve. This is a very Christmassy tale for March.

This is a very Christmassy tale for March. That'll be good for listeners in the southern hemisphere where it's getting colder. Cold? The nights are drawing in? Yeah, the nights are drawing in. Surely the nights are drawing in. Yeah. I think they still have Christmas in December though do they I was that is a misconception. The Australian celebrate Christmas in June so it's Christmas Eve though in rose worn there's a big party there's ladies and gentlemen oh they're having they are enjoying the full enjoyment of the dance. Right. Everything is joyous. Mirth is in full swing.

Ezekiel felt to the full the influence of his wealth. My, my, my, I must say it is good to be rich. Do you not agree, Mr. Ghost? G-g-g-ghost. Whoa! I'm just guessing that he would suddenly turn around and say the ghost was there. I'm just guessing that he would suddenly turn around and see the ghost was there. I was at my most joyous. And then a chill falls over the party, a chill of death.

The dancers suddenly pause. They look at one another, they're struck by each other's paleness. And there in the middle of the hall, there's a strange old man staring angrily at Ezekiel Gross who is fixed in terror. No one to see this old guy come in. He's just standing there staring for a minute and then he's gone. And Ezekiel, as if a frozen torrent of water had thawed in an instant, roared with impetuous laughter.

What do you think of that for a Christmas play? There was an old father Christmas for you. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. How frightened you all look. Butler, order the men to hand round the spiced wines. On with the dancing, my friends. It was only a trick, and a clever one, which I've put upon you. On with your dancing, my friends.

So he's chill, he's chill, he's fine. Everything seems fine. Weirdly enough, that didn't bring the mood back up and one by one, people sort of started making their excuses and leaving. Like, I got to get up early for work, but it's Christmas Eve. So everyone left. And from that Christmas Eve, Gross was a changed man. He tried to be fine, but it didn't work.

He would like invite people over. He would try and have more parties, but at every party, an aged man, weird beyond measure, took his place at the table in the middle of the feast. He wouldn't say a word and everyone was like really freaked out by it. So Ezekiel would sort of try and act brave and like chill about it. Why it's an old Easter man prank for Easter. Ha ha ha ha. He made sundry excuses and he said, oh, he has a mental infirmity and is deaf and dumb

and really likes staring at me. Just ignore, just ignore the weird aged old man. At that point, the old man would rise from the table, look at the host and laugh a demonic laugh of joy and then just disappear basically. I think it's the disappearing that is letting people know something's up. As Bobby Hunt points out, the natural consequence of this was that Ezekiel Gross's friends fell away from him and he became a lonely man and his only companion was his faithful Clark, John Call, who I'm guessing was always on call.

John Call, you're my only friend. And he became a miserably attenuated bowled old man. Misery was stamped on his every feature. Terror was indicated in every movement. At length he besought his ghostly attendant Terror was indicated in every movement. At length, he besought his ghostly attendant to free him of his presence. It was long before the ghost would listen to any terms. Ezekiel, in the end, agreed to surrender the whole of his wealth to anyone who the spectre might indicate, and the spectre indicated John Call, who again

was always on call. And then he would no longer be haunted. And then Ezekiel, he still got those dodgy ways about him. He tried to just keep a little bit for himself or something, but in the end, in the end, John Call became the possessor of Roseworn and all the lands. And then Gross was told by the evil spirit that it was one of the ancestors of the Roseworns, of the DeRoseworns. And by fraudulent dealings, that guy had obtained the hall and he was only allowed to visit earth again for the purpose of inflicting the most condine punishment on this avaricious lawyer.

Oh wow. And yeah, and it says here, his avarice had been gratified, his pride has been pampered to the highest and then he was made a pitiful spectacle at whom all men pointed and no one pitied. He lived on in misery, but it was for a very short time. It reminds me of Princess Bride to the Pain. Princess Bride to the Pain. You know, you know, Princess, the Princess Bride, the film. Yeah. Is there a sequel?

No, no. To the Pain is the threat that Wesley makes to the guy. It's brilliant. He's like, I'll chop off your nose and your eyes and your hands. And he goes, and then my ears, I suppose I killed you too quickly. The last time a mistake, I do not wish to duplicate. The no, your ears you keep so that every child that cries out in your presence, every person that says, dear God, what is that thing you will hear in your perfect, perfect ears. That is what to the pain means. Anyway, very good speech.

And so, yeah, he did that. He to the pained him and Ezekiel was found dead. And the country people ever said that his death was a violent one. They spoke of marks on his body and some even asserted that the specter of De Rose Warn was seen rejoicing amidst a crowd of devils as they bore the spirit of Ezekiel over Kaan Brea. Ooh. And so John Cole ended up with the whole place.

Not as far as I know. It sounds like he should have got the curse, right? Should have continued on. Ezekiel should have only been given respite. Maybe Ezekiel refused to pass the curse on. I guess that's spectral justice. He doesn't always play by the rules, but he does get results. Spectral justice.

Yes, yes. Are you ready to pass judgment? Wasn't it good? It was great. Thank you very much. Cheers, C-SWINE slash Verity. Let's score it then. Are you ready to pass judgment? It wasn't it good? It was great. Thank you very much. Cheers C swine slash verity. Let's score it then. I'm ready. What's the first category?

Names. Very high. Ezekiel Grosser? Well, according to the story, who according to the story is a bad guy, maybe not be a bad guy in real life, but it's a bad name for someone that could be perceived as being a bad guy in real life. Yep. Great, great name. John Call.

John Call who was always on call. Yep. The Roberts hunt. Yes. DeRose one is just quite a nice name. Can't Brea probably saying that wrong. Oh, of course. Robert were Fox.

Okay. I forgot about Robert were folks. Makes a terrible noise every full moon. Yes. It's gotta be five just for Robert were Fox. Okay. I forgot about Robert were folks makes a terrible noise every full moon. Yes. It's got to be five just for Robert were Fox. Excellent. There's your five right there. Fox where Fox there Fox where on the Fox right there. A little Fox with pants on a little pipe. Okay. Then second category. Come on then. Supernatural. All right. It is a very supernatural story, but I gave you a five for names, so I feel like I can't

just be handing out the fives, can I? I've got to be a little more strict here. Wait, wait, what? Well, we've got one very solid ghost. Yeah. With a whole plan, a whole, it teaches a lesson. Big time. It's highly narrative. And there may have been a cloud of devils.

So that's pretty good. A crowd of devils, but I think a cloud of devils is a better image. A crowd, a crowd. Hmm. I was hoping for a cloud. You got a bit, you got a bin bag in a- It was the bin bag. Yes.

That's quite good. That turns into a real, real baddie. Yeah. Then none of the other Roberts hunt had anything supernatural. Yeah, that's true. You didn't get anything from boobs and musical. It's a four because so few of the other Robert hunts were pulling their weight spooky wise. Fair enough. But that, that DeRose worn ghost was pretty darn spooky.

But I can't, I'm kind of marking it down because I think someone just made that story up. It's too neat. It's too well told. Gold! But maybe the guy DeRose... pretty darn spooky. But I'm kind of marking it down because I think someone just made that story up. It's too neat. It's too well told. Gold! But maybe the guy, DeRose, we know that DeRose one did buy the house from the, we know that Ezekiel Gross did buy the house from the DeRose ones. Maybe he did become a sort of broken and weird old man and was tricked out of his money by

John Call who was always on call. Mmm. You putting the blame on John Call? Maybe it was a, maybe that brings me to my next category, the big scam. Okay, break that down for me. John Call scammed Ezekiel Gross. Oh, he pulled Scooby Doo. He Scooby did it.

He Scooby did. And yeah, and Ezekiel Gross was Scooby Do. Oh, he Scooby shouldn't, but he Scooby did. That was the thing. You spent so long wondering whether you Scooby could. You didn't stop to think whether you Scooby should. Scooby verse remake of Jurassic Park. Rarassic Rock. Jurassic Park. That's better actually.

Yeah, well done. So I think it's five out of five for the big scam because... If you're going to knock me down for Supernatural, you gotta knock me up. Yeah. If it's not so Supernatural, it's got to be a scam. And yes. Yeah. There's your five Scooby snacks. There's, there's a five in the form of a really tall sandwich

that a man or a dog final category pudding. Pudding. Yeah. I might just be because we're recording this and I'm quite hungry. Yeah. It's kind of lunchtime. Just thinking about puddings at the minute. You tiramisu's, you banoffee pies, you trifles.

Tiramisu's me. Yes. The trifling matters. It makes a tiramisu's, you banoffee pies, you trifles. Tiramisu's me? Yes, the trifling matters. It makes a tiramir out of sue and me. Sue, out of me and Sue. Oh. Interesting thing. Now I'm just thinking of other puddings that like, it makes a bano, it makes a bu out of nu and fee.

Maybe that should be the category. It makes a tiramir out of new and fee. Maybe that should be the category. He makes a Tira out of Mitt and Sue. Yeah, that's a, that is a quite a bad category. Yeah, no, it's a good story. It was a good story. And most importantly of all, he got his just dessert. He did, didn't he? Didn't he, James? I assume you planned that pun.

I'm just, I'm going to stop Googling Banoffee recipes and go, yeah, definitely. Absolutely. Yeah, no, five out of five for pudding. If you pop some speculoos in the biscuits, you get a very nice base. So you mix it. It's not just digestive base. You also pop a few speculoos in there. Well, thanks for the tip.

There you go. What a chiller. It really delivered the cursed fortune. That fortune was well cursed. I'd say, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, that that story very much delivered on its title. Thank you for law coming with us on this law adventure. Law Journey. Thank you to everyone who supports us on patreon.com forward slash lawmen pod, where you too can support our endeavors and get access to bonus episodes.

Join us. Thanks very much, Joe, for having us. I think I already said that, but I really appreciate it because you had to do some fiddling around with this one. Oh yeah, James really messed this recording up. For once! It wasn't me. There's probably cockney slang for it.

It's Ten ponies. It's the 10 ponies episode. Wow. Yeah. That's like 11 days worth of podcast. It's two tons and a bullseye. Are you on some kind of Cockney website? Yeah, I am.

I'm on google.gov. You'd think more Cockney websites would be.gov, wouldn't you?