Loremen Podcast - Loremen S6Ep9 - Dodge vs The Demon

Episode Date: March 27, 2025

James spins another yarn from the moors of Devon. It's the tale of Reverend Dodge, a vicar so fearsome his name caused demons to turn and flee! Let's be honest, this episode isn't the first time the boys have sung the Ghostbusters theme in West Country accents. And darn it, it won't be the last! We may also have got popular puppet Hacker T. Dog's name wrong several times, but we swear it was an accident. We're just innocent men. This episode was edited by Joseph Burrows - Audio Editor Join the LoreFolk at patreon.com/loremenpod ko-fi.com/loremen Check the sweet, sweet merch here... https://www.teepublic.com/stores/loremen-podcast?ref_id=24631 @loremenpod youtube.com/loremenpodcast www.instagram.com/loremenpod www.facebook.com/loremenpod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Book, direct and save at bestwestern.com. Welcome to Lawmen, a podcast about local legends and obscure curiosities from days of yore. I'm James Shake Shaft. Meanwhile, I am Alistair Beckett King. Oh, Alistair, you know, my thoughts on the term meanwhile, especially during recipes. Yeah, you should have started making Alistair Becuit King 15 minutes ago. Everything is ruined. But fortunately, nothing is ruined because we've got a brand new episode of Lawman and this time it's about an exorcist whose reputation precedes him in Dodge vs the Demon.

Good name. Great name, right? Hello Alistair Beckett King. Good morrow, James. I brought you here to talk about the past. Oh. I'm talking about an autumnal evening 130 years ago. Many morrows ago.

From 1865. So that's over 130 years ago now, isn't it? You are asking the wrong person to do mental arithmetic. Twice as far away. Oh, I did the maths already. It's 1735, neighbors o'clock for any 90s listeners. We are back in Cornwall. This is again from Demons, Ghosts and Spectres in Cornish Folklore by Robert

Hunt as donated to the show by C Swine. Thank you very much Sea Swine. This is a really good pamphlet. And we are in Taland. Taland. Taland. Am I saying that correctly? Taland. Taland. Taland. Yes. Imagine you spelt Holland badly wrong.

Right. Or Tallland. Or Thailand? No, Thailand. Thailand. Maybe if it was an inside number nine or Psychoville. Is that the local accent? Are they all, are they all reassure Smith?

Thailand. Yeah. We're at the old Vicarage house inand and as described by, if you remember Robert Hunt's little biog, he's the posthumous son of a naval captain. Will Barron Robert Hunt himself is? Yeah, Bobby Hunt. Will Barron Oh, wow. So the author has a personal, quite tragic backstory.

Yeah. He was a fellow of the Royal Society, founded the Mechanics Institute. We're not going to forget he was the professor at the Royal school of mines. Right. He was a mine professor. I did forget that. You know, for 37 years, he was keeper of mining records for the country. Wow. And his most important technical work was British mining, a monumental survey published

in 1884. Monumental is an odd choice of words because they tend to be going up from the ground monuments rather than going down into the ground. I suppose I, if you're talking about like monumental masons, which is the euphemism for people that make gravestones. Is it? Yeah. It also sounds like they're sort of subtly bigging themselves up there.

I'm a monumental mason. Monumental mason sounds like a local business. It doesn't matter what the business is, but that the, the alliteration makes it really sound like a business with a local shopfront to me. Monumental Masons. It feels like it needs an exclamation mark, but in reality it needs an ellipsis. Oh yeah. Cause it's like, oh.

But I suppose a monumental mason, that monument in that sense does indicate that something of import is buried below. Quite. Like a mine. Anyway. No, you've persuaded me. Thanks. You rest your case.

You can't usually say that to someone else, can you? Please rest your case. You can't usually say that to someone else, can you? Please rest your case. But yeah, the old Vicarage House in Talland is described as, as picturesque an object as you could desire to see is an odd looking old fashioned building erected apparently in an age when asceticism, asceticism, asceticism, guest reader David Bowie for this word, asceticism and self-denial were more in vogue than at present with a stern disregard for the comfort of the inhabitant and an utter contempt of received principles of taste. So you sort of, you sort of neg in it. What is this?

Some kind of ugly, horrible. I've lived in some bad places. I've lived in some horrible, ugly little flats. Is that what the kind of place we're talking about? Well, it's just, I don't know. It's a vicar. I think it's just quite a plain vicarage. It's just a really austere, Spartan vicarage.

With a, with a high wall around it. And can only see the small gothic windows in the upper part of the house. What, so the people who live there, you can't peer in while they're having their breakfast? You can't have a nose at the vicar. That seems fine to me. Maybe the vicar doesn't want you overlooking his eggs. Vicar should be on call 2010, 20, 24, seven, 2010. I just said a year, right?

Like 20 hours a day, 10 days a week. So he has a, he has a few hours off, so that's okay. Yeah, sort of, but yes, anyway. So a stranger in the garb of a country laborer is knocking on the door of the big wall and a servant girl's appeared. Oh, hello, hello, who be ye? I've got a message for the vicar. I'll take that message, but I can't read.

I've picked that voice and I've realized this guy says quite a lot. So you're stuck with it now, James. It was great. She leads the country laborer in to see the vicar. Oh, walk this way. Walk this way, please. And there he meets the Reverend Mr. Dodge. Reverend Dodge. Reverend Mr. Dodge or Rev Dodge.

A cowboy reverend in Cornwall, the wild west of England. Or that dog from CBeebies that said we're just men, innocent men. Oh, I love that dog. Yeah. I love that dog. Bobby Hunt describes the Reverend Dodge as a remarkable man. You would have judged as much of him as he sat before the fire in his high back chair. In the attitude of thought arranging, it may have been the heads of his next Sabbath discourse.

I think that means right in his sermon. His heavy eyebrows throwing into shade his spacious eyes and indeed the whole contour of his face marked him as a man of great firmness of character and of much moral and personal courage. Jason Vale Yeah, you can tell that stuff from people's eyebrows. Sam Brace And the lines of their face. Jason Vale Mm hmm.

Sam Brace Like Gordon Ramsay. Jason Vale Oh, yes, very wise cheeks. the lines of their face. Mm-hmm. Like Gordon Ramsay. Oh yes. Very wise cheeks. You can tell Gordon Ramsay frowns a lot. Okay. Yes. To some extent it's true. Hmm.

So this guy is verging on 60 and where he lives gives him abundant exercise for the qualities we've mentioned for many of his parishioners obtained their livelihood by the contraband trade. Oh, if you know what I mean. Smuggling. We're talking about smugglers. Yeah. Yeah. He's, he's back in the middle of smugglersville.

He's the, he's the sheriff of smuggle town. He is the, he's the vicar of smuggle town. Dodge. He's a Dodge vicar, but he's not dodgy. Oh, now you can tell from his chin. Hmm. He's a dodge vicar, but he's not dodgy. Oh, now you can tell from his chin. Down those Cornish streets, a man must walk who is not himself dodge. This vicar is fearless in representing their smuggling ways. And they listened to him because he was a simple, honest man with a well-known kindness of heart.

And he says the eccentricity of his life too had a wonderful effect in procuring him the respect not to say the awe of a people suspicious in a more than ordinary degree. Because he is the local Ghostbuster. What? Yeah. This guy's got everything. He's a cowboy sheriff and a ghostbuster. He's a cowboy sheriff who busts ghosts. He's a cowboy sheriff who busts ghosts.

He ain't afraid of no ghosts. He ain't be afraid of nary a ghost. I'm trying to put it into a Cornish idiom. You gonna call Reverend Dodge? How are you gonna call him with the available technology? You're just gonna have to shout really loud. I believe we have, weirdly, we have already done the Ghostbusters theme tune in a particularly strong relaxant.

That doesn't surprise me at all, James. Because I have muscle memory of saying, there's an invisible man sleeping in your bed. Who are you going to call? Reverend Dodge. Are you telling me we've said, Bustin makes me feel good. I don't think I've said that before. If we haven't, we should have. Yeah, no, I think we probably have walked these narrow lanes before.

Robert Hunt posits the idea that ghosts in those days had more freedom, according to them, or just had more business in the visible world than at present. It's basically saying there was more ghosts back then. Yeah. Yeah. The four, Thatcher and Reagan. Or the 1860s. And what happened in the 1860s to put all the ghosts to bed? So the person is frequently required by his parishioners to draw from the uneasy spirit,

the dread secret that troubled it, or by the aid of the solemn prayers of the church, set it at rest forever. He's a famous exorcist. Not just in his parish, he's going around. You call him in, he's like, you know, he's like the wandering gunslinger, but re-ghosts. Yeah. He'll go from town to town. And that is what country, this country work addressed stranger new when he handed him a letter from Mr. Mills of Lan Reith and Dodge opened the letter and it read as follows.

Scrumple. My dear brother Dodge, I ventured to trouble you at the earnest request of my parishioners with a matter of which some particulars of doubtless reach you and which has caused and is causing much terror in my neighborhood. Sorry. He said in my neighborhood. In my neighborhood. Yeah, much terror in my neighborhood.

For a second I thought that was Ghostbusters, but it's actually the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Yes, it is. But I think this is valid. It's the Fresh Ghost. So this guy got in one little fight, you're telling me. Yes. And his barista's got scared. Yes.

And so he's writing a letter to you, Vicar Dodge, from Talland. Talland. For it's full of explication, I will be so tedious as to recount to you the whole of this strange story as it has reached my ears for as yet I have not satisfied my eyes of its truth. It was told to him by my men of honest and good report there is in the neighborhood of this village a barren bit of more which had no owner or rather more than one. For the lords of the adjoining manors debated its ownership between themselves and both determined to take it from the poor who are familiar. Yeah, actually I'm on board suddenly with the story. Yeah, that's what they're like.

So there's some common land, there's two two Lords whose land go up against this common land and they're both trying to claim the common land. Well, actually, to be honest, neither of them should have it. It belongs to the village. Anyway, so yeah, this land, the two litigants, however, contested it with as much violence as if it had been a field of great price because basically it's quite a barren bit of land anyway. And especially one, an old man whose thoughts should have been less set on earthly possessions when he was soon to leave. That's a bit of a snide one, isn't it?

Yeah. You're saying there's an old man who's trying to get this land. He's going to die soon, so you shouldn't bother. Yeah. Why do you care? You're nearly dead. He'd so set his heart on the success of the suit that the loss of it a few years back is said to have much hastened his death, nor indeed after death. Oh.

If current reports are worthy of credit, does he quit his claim to it? If anything, I could say that this case was rare. And this is obviously the missing middle verse. Yeah. The one that was in the pilot. Yeah. And then it is an in subsequent episodes. Where he talks about a mooring Cornwall that's haunted by the ghost of an old man. You can see why they took it out.

Yeah, but you know, it's there for the purists. So a public path leads by at no great distance from the spot. Long way of saying a public path leads to the spot pretty much. And on diverse occasions has the labourer returning from his work been frightened nigh unto lunacy by sight and sounds of a very dreadful character. And then he thought, no, forget it. Yo home to Tallad. And then he thought, no, forget it. Yo home to Tallad. No, he didn't sing. You lured me in there, James.

I didn't realize. It's the voice. It was the funny voice. The appearance is said to be that of a man habited in black, driving a carriage drawn by headless horses. This is, I avow, very marvelous to believe, but it has had so much credible testimony and has gained so many believers in my parish

that some steps seem necessary to make it happen. I have been told that I am a very marvelous to believe, but it has had so much credible testimony and has gained so many believers in my parish that some steps seem necessary to allay the excitement it causes. And you're telling me the license plates had fresh and it had dice in the mirror. Yes. Yes. This ghost stinks. So basically he's written to dodge to say, I don't believe in no ghost.

I ain't afraid of no ghost, but the people are afraid. So we have to go there and exercise it. You're the exorcist. Come down, make a show. It's an open and shut case. You know, not doubting of your help here. And I do with my very hearty commendation, commit you to God's protection and blessing and am your very loving brother, Abraham Mills."

This remarkable note was read and re-read while the countryman sat watching its effects on the parson's countenance and was surprised that it changed not from its usual sedate and settled character. He's unmoved. So, turning at length to the man, Mr. Dodge inquired, Are you then acquainted with my good friend Mills? I should know him, sir. Have you been sextant to the parish for fourteen years and being, with my family, much beholden to the kindness of the rector?

So he says, You are also not without some knowledge of the circumstances related in this letter. Have you been an eyewitness to any of those strange sites? That was Dodge. I did, I can't do the dog voice, unfortunately. Otherwise I'd be doing that for Dodge's voice, but I'm trying to give him some gravitas. Okay. All right. For myself, sir, I have been on the road all hours of the night and never did I see

anything, which I would call worse than myself. One night, my wife and I were woken by the rattle of wheels, which was also word by some of our neighbors. And we all assured that it could have been none other than the Black Coach. We have every day such stories told in the villages by so many credible persons that it would not be proper in a plain ignorant man like me to doubt it. He's very down on himself, isn't he? Yeah, back yourself Sexton. Yeah, come on mate, you've got to back...

Fake it till you make it. Yes, you've got to love yourself Sexton. Yeah, come on mate, you've got to back... Fake it till you make it. Yes, you've got to love yourself Sexton, no one else can. Try mindfulness. Yes, do some colouring in and that, and just have a bath probably. Have a lovely bath! More than once a year. I think that's a myth, isn't it? Nobody used to have baths. A fact by 1760, in the 1600s, there was like big bath houses in London and stuff. So the clergyman wants to know how far it is from Lanwreath.

The countryman replies, about two miles please your reverence. The whole parish is so frightened that few will venture far after nightfall. A man who is esteemed, a sensible and pious man by many, though an Anabaptist in principle went a few weeks back to the moor, to his cold blackadon at midnight in order to lay the spirit being requested thereto by his neighbors. And he was so alarmed at what he saw that he hath been somewhat mazed ever since. Ooh.

Yeah. And the parson, he's got no sympathy. A fitting punishment for his presumption, if it hath not quite demented him, said the parson. Wow. These persons are like those addressed by St. Chrysostom. Chrysostom. Sorry? Chrysostom.

St. Chrysostom? St. Chrysostom. St Chris system. St Chris system. Yeah, yeah. One of one of the top saints in my book. Fitly called the golden mouth who said miserable wretches that ye be ye cannot expel a flea much less a devil. Oh, Saki, Saki saints. Wow.

Okay. So this guy is pretty confident. Yeah. Okay. So basically they're establishing that everyone believes it in the village. And so the sexton said, most believe it sir, as rightly they should. What hath so many witnesses, though there be some chiefly young men who set up for being wiser than their fathers and refuse to credit it though they be sworn onto the book.

You foolish teens. So basically, yeah, there's some young kids don't believe the story, but the vicar has got an answer for that as well. If those things are disbelieved friend, and without inquiry, which your disbeliever is ever the first to shrink from, of what worth is human testimony? That ghosts have returned to the earth either for the discovery of murder or to make restitution for other injustice committed in the flesh, or compelled thereto by the incantations of sorcery or to communicate tidings from another world, has been testified to in all ages.

And many are the accounts which have been left us both in the sacred and profane authors. It did not Brutus when in Asia, as it was related by Plutarch. See now, fortunately at this moment, the Parsons handmade comes in and interrupts. Cause that was really boring what you were saying there. I was getting really annoyed. He was about to just list all ghosts ever, but basically he's saying, look, there are ghosts, but he's an exorcist. His business very much relies on that. It's basically just sort of sucking air in between his teeth before giving you a quote.

Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep.

Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep best people. Yeah. He doesn't mean that they're dope or fly. And then the following evening he's going to go.

So he goes there, the two clergymen meet up at Lanruth rectory on their horseback and they go out to the moor and it's about 11 o'clock at night. I was slightly hoping he was going to throw the sexton out like by Jazzy Jack, but never mind. Yeah. Well, the handmade does. The handmade's actually Uncle Phil. It's not how I was picturing her, but that's good. Robert HUD describes the moor.

Bleak and dismal did it look by day, but then there was the distant landscape dotted over with pretty homesteads to relieve its desolation. Now, nothing was seen but the black patch of sterile moor on which they stood. Nothing heard but the wind as it swept in gusts across the bare hill and howled dismaly through a stunted grove of trees that grew in a glen below them, except the occasional baying of dogs from the farm houses in the distance. That they felt at ease is more than could be expected of them. But as it would have shown a lack of faith in the protection of heaven, they managed to conceal from each other their uneasiness.

So they're like a bit nervous, but that means they're not very good church people if they're nervous. So they have to pretend that they're fine. So it says they upheld each other by remarks on the power of that great being. So just go, Oh, ain't God great? Oh, God's good, isn't he? Good old, good old God. And he's so strong and, oh, well, we're going to make him manifest in a minute.

If any, if any scary things happen, right? Good, good, good girl. Though the night was as dark and murky as a ghost could wish, the coach and its driver came not. Ooh, nothing happened. But very much no ghost. And basically the vickers are like, oh, we should probably go then. Doesn't look like he's going to turn up.

So maybe we should be on another night. And yeah, total waste of Vicarley energy. Perhaps it might please his ghost ship to appear on a different night. And they separated. So Mr. Mills went back home to the rectory and Dodge realized it would be quicker to go across the moor because it would be like half a mile quicker. So he goes off for his Vicarage across the moor. Oh, so he's going along at an ambling pace at the bottom of a deep valley. However, about a mile from Blackerton, the animal became very uneasy.

His horse. That's not another nickname for Vicar Dog. The animal. The animal. He's just a man. He's just an innocent Vicar Dodge. The animal, the animal. He's just a man. He's just an innocent Vicar. So the horse is pricking up her ears, moving from side to side as if something is stood in the park.

My impression of a horse. Not normally quite a chilled out horse becomes very unruly, throws herself up on the haunches. He's trying to nudge the horse on. It's not going anywhere. So it gets off. He tries to pull the horse or drag it, nearly breaks his reins. So he gets back on and then he just threw the reins on the neck of his steed.

And then all of a sudden the horse wheels round and starts backward towards the moor, turns around and goes, goes back to where they've come from. At a pace which rendered the parson's seat neither a pleasant nor a safe one. Wow. And in a short space of time, they're back at Blackerton. All the way back. Yep. They've done that mile like that.

Boom. And by this time, the bear outline of the moor was broken by a large black group of objects, which the darkness of the night prevented the parson from defining. I think that's just a little bit too vague to be spooky. Well, the horse didn't think so. The horse is all a fright again. It's become very unruly. It's prancing around. That is what I do when I'm scared. I prance around in an unruly manner. In pauses of the horses prancing, the vicar discovered to his horror the much dreaded

spectacle of the black coach and the headless steeds. And his friend, Mr Mills, lying prostrate on the ground. Just as the vicar began to give utterance to like, you know, God stuff, prayers and that, the specter shouted, Doge is come. I must be gone. And disappeared across the moor. Didn't even need to exercise him.

The ghost knows his name. Yeah. His reputation precedes him. So whose account of these events are we hearing? This is, this is Hunt retelling the story as it was told by Dodge. I'm guessing so. Yes. Cause Dodge is the only person who's there and conscious and self aggrandizing.

As well. Either that or it was the local teens. Yes. Pranking. Oh, it could have been. Yes. And we're pretending dressing up like headless, headless horses. That's probably quite hard to pull off on an 18th century budget.

I don't know. I think a head full horse would be more difficult because you don't need to borrow. You just, you know, get a cloth, get a mate. Yeah. And a big bit of brown cloth. You're right. They are worth more with a head horses. Yeah.

Harder to do. Harder to do. Harder to do. Now that's gone. He dodges horses chilled out. He's able to approach his friend who's lying motionless and speechless with his face buried in the Heather and his mate's horse, which was like frozen stiff before with fright, now just runs off, just runs back home all of a sudden. Now the, now the ghost has gone. It made homeward at a furious speed and stopped not until he'd reached his stable door.

And the hoofs going through the village woke everyone. They all sort of came out like, oh, what's going on? What's going on? There's a horse running. What's that horse running? Oh, it's gone right to Mr. Mills, the Sexton's gate. And they managed to gather their courage because they kind of work at what's going on. And they, they realized that Mr. Mills is not there.

So they're going to go, we're going to go find him. And they started off in a compact body, a few on horseback in the direction of Blackerton. And there they discovered their rector supported in the arms of Blackerton. And there they discovered their rector, supported in the arms of Parson Dodge, and recovered so far as to be able to speak. But still there was a wildness in his eye, and an incoherency in his speech, showed that his reason was, at least temporarily,

unsettled by the fright. You've been mazed, son! Absolutely mazed. And here ended this strange adventure for Mr Mills, soon completely regained his reason. Parson Dodge got safely back to Talan. And from that time to this, nothing has been heard or seen of the Black Ghost or his chariot. Wow. So Dodge just had to turn up?

Just boom. Yeah. Wow. You know me. I'm Reverend Dodge. Flashes his badge. chariot. Wow, so Doge just had to turn up? Just boom, yeah. Wow. You know me. I'm Reverend Doge. Flashes his badge. Mm-hmm. A glimpse in the moonlight.

Doge has come. I must be gone. Very spooky and mysterious. Isn't it? And probably not a prank. Probably not a prank by those teens mentioned earlier in the story. Those skeptical new atheist teens. Obnoxious little Richard Dawkins teens.

Should we crack out some scores then? Okay. Let's score it. Right. What's your first category? Names. Names. Good names.

Reverend the Reverend Dodge. That's that is carrying a lot of water. Carry a lot. Wait, I don't know what I mean. It's good name. Yeah. Yes. Could carry a lot of water, I guess.

I don't know if it was a cup. If it was a good cup. Yeah. Dodge is the name of a... If it's a sports direct extra large mug. Yeah, true. Dodge is the name of a town in the wild west. It's the name of a car, right?

A cool American car. All American cars are cool and fuel inefficient, I assume. Yes. It's a word that means just getting out of the way, but also means kind of criminal. Cool and fuel inefficient, I assume. Yes. It's a word that means just getting out of the way, but also means kind of criminal. Yeah. It's a humorous abbreviation of dodgy. He's not dodge. Great name.

Yeah. Really good. He's very straight laced. Yeah. What was Mills's first name? Cause Mills is not a particularly startling surname. So Augustus Mills. Cornelius Mills.

Abraham. Abraham Mills. Not bad. Abraham Mills. Decent. Yeah. No Cornelius. We didn't have a name for the maid unless it was uncle Phil in the unlikely event.

It was uncle Phil. And then the, the Sexton was called Jazzy Jeff. The Sexton Jazzy Jeff. Yeah. Yeah. Good name. So what we're thinking. Taland.

Tal, ah, Taland. I forgot about Taland. Taland. Taland. Yeah. Yeah. Good name. So what we're thinking, Taland. Taland. I forgot about Taland. Taland. Taland. Yeah. Okay. I think it's a four, including Taland. Yes.

Just because the title you've given this episode, Dodge versus the Demon. Pretty good. Yeah. It's pretty good, isn't it? Then that brings me neatly to Supernatural. Oh, wow. So now we have to decide, was that a real headless horse drawn coach or a mere adolescent prank?

Aye, aye, aye. Where are these adolescents getting a coach? Yeah, true. On their pocket money. Yeah. That's probably not going to stretch to a coach. Yes, they could use most of a pantomime horse costume to do the horse effect, but yeah, would that cause a seasoned vicar to pass out and flop into the Heather face first?

I don't know. It looks, I think, I don't know, because would they have known about the vicar enough to know that he was the exorcist? Whereas the demon, that's going to have some sort of demonic knowledge. Would they have known about the vicar enough to know that he was the exorcist? Whereas the demon, that's going to have some sort of demonic knowledge. Yes, they're going to have a demonic rolodex of exorcists. Like, uh oh, it's the big gun. And just like some family information about that exorcist in case you need to use that.

Yes, always useful. Yeah, I... It's eluded to so many ghosts. The fact that there was a ghost meant they were like, brilliant call for dodge. He's the guy he's so, he's so good with the ghosts that even the smugglers respect him. Yeah. I, yeah, I kind of didn't warm to him and wanted him to get his comb up and so, and so I'm kind of upset that he wins the story. It's a little bit needless to say

I have the last laugh. No, it's like Alan Partridge being an exorcist. But you can't argue with facts, can you? And this is definitely a case of a real ghost. So it's that brings me to the next category. The fresh exorcist of Cornwall. Okay. It can't be five because there's no Carlton. No, there isn't. And Carlton was my favorite. I don't think we've got a Jeffrey. Wait a minute.

Isn't Abraham? Is Abraham Carlton? Is Mills Carlton? Was he dancing when he fell? Maybe that's what he tripped over. Yeah, but he danced to the Devil's Fiddle and then fell. Maybe. But where's Jeffrey?

My favorite character. Oh no, the maid's already on. You already said the maid was Uncle Phil. If not, that's obviously not correct. Arrrrgh, that would have been better casting. There's no Jeffrey, is there? And there's neither of the mums. What is it?

Ah, it is a Vicarage. Oh, is Jeffrey St. Christus? St. Christus? St. Christus? No, don't be absurd. No, that's a stretch. It's good. I enjoyed it, much like I enjoyed the sitcom Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

Yep. But I'm afraid it's only a three out of five because you haven't satisfactorily paired up the characters. Gosh darn it. Was there a baddie in the Fresh Prince? Was there an, and, uh, it would just be one of the, one of the sort of preppy kids wouldn't it? Yeah.

Something I was going to say. Sometimes there were, I don't, I don't think I knew what being preppy was, but it was a big theme in sort of teen comedies in the nineties. Yeah. There would be some preppy Bel Air rights. Does it mean that they went to prep school? I think that's where it comes from. Yeah. Okay. Cool. So posh poshos. Okay. Then what we're going for three, was it? Okay. Yeah. In which case

If you would, if you would wrap that category, Will Smith style, maybe it would have been four, but it's three. So my final category is we're just clergy men. We're just innocent clergy men. Excellent. Yes. It's possible that one or two of the listeners don't remember the viral video with hacker T dog.

Yes. Was he called dodge a puppet? I think he's called hacker T dog. Oh no. Well, I don't know. I don't know why I think he's called dodge. T Dog. Oh no. Well, I don't know. I don't know why I think he's called Dodge. Well, Dodge and Dog are very similar. Yeah.

But for some reason, that guy reminded me of him. And I'm not going to question it. Yeah. If you haven't seen it, there's a really good clip of Lauren Layfield and Hacker T Dog. You must have seen it. And what is this podcast, if not a podcast where people remember things. I think they're related. What the dog and that woman.

Hacker and Dodge. They're not the same puppet. They're both CBBC dogs. That's where the confusion has come from. James, you are blowing this case wide open. There's two different puppets. There's two puppets, two doggy puppets. I'm looking at a video from CBBC.

It's the hacker and Dodge song. They've, they've, I think one CBBC and one CBB's. I see. I see. But please, please correct us on social media. Please do write in. Please do correct us for this one. Ah, I feel I've just undone a load of points for myself, especially as given there are only two clergymen in the whole story.

Go on then, hit me. It's five out of five because I found the video funny and I have forgotten what the category was. Thank goodness. There you go. He's like, he's like peak era Robbie Williams. He doesn't even need to do the singing. He just holds the mic out and the audience does the singing for him.

My main knowledge of Robbie Williams at the moment is all the Americans going, who's this monkey? Who is that monkey? But not in that accent. For extra little bits of this, please join us on patreon.com forward slash lawmen pod. Thank you very much to all the people who already do that. We are very grateful. Yes, ever so. And thank you very much. Sometimes we don't already do that. We are very grateful, yes. Ever so.

And thank you very much. Sometimes we don't say it, but we are. Yeah. And thank you very much to Joe for editing this. Cheers, Joe. And thank you very much for you for listening to it and try and do it again next week. If possible, yes. It were pos.

No probes if not. No probes if not. Some probes if not. Yeah, big probes actually. Who is that monkey? I'm American. I don't know who that is. Who's Robbie Williams? I'm from Nevada. I've never heard of Robbie Williams.

I'm in Nevada. From called Dead Hands?