Loremen Podcast - Loremen S7Ep10 - Spectres of York

Episode Date: March 19, 2026

Old York, Old York... The city so York they named it York. James has been visiting the ancient walled city, but he's here to tell Alasdair about visitations of a very different kind. The city centre is home to York Minster, as well as the ghosts of a keen Dean, a smug mason, a nuddy arsonist and a latchkey kid with awful vibes. Fans of the city in the vale may want to check out our previous York episode, with guest shenanigans from Amy Gledhill. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠See Alasdair On Tour in 2026!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Join the LoreFolk at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/loremenpod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ko-fi.com/loremen⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Check the sweet, sweet merch here... ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.teepublic.com/stores/loremen-podcast?ref_id=24631⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ @loremenpod ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠youtube.com/loremenpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/loremenpod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.facebook.com/loremenpod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Lawmen, a podcast about local legends and obscure curiosities from Days of Yore. I'm James Shakeshhaft. I'm Alastair Beckett King. And we're taking a break from the current format of these are places that Alistair's going to on tour for this is a place that James went to. Because Alistair, I went to York. Beautiful, lovely little York. Quite near Leeds where I am going on tour. Oh, yes.

Yeah. We'll talk about that after, I think. But in the meantime, it's the many specters of York. Right then, Alistair. Cool it, James. I'm coming in hot. I'm not going to cool it. Okay, it's not cooling it, listener.

I'm going to keep it at this... At this high temperature? Tepid temperature. All right. I went to York. Old York. Old York. Ivorakam. Is that someone meeting?

my second favourite member of the A team from York. Someone from Yorkshire, sorry, I should have said that at the beginning. No, no, we understood. I think we got where you were going with it. Hey, but I come. The elements of the joke didn't arrive in the right order, but we assembled them like an IKEA table ourselves.

There is a few audience members scratching their head holding a piece of, holding a pencil. I don't think I haven't got any of these dowling bits that it's talking about. They needed a second person to help them assemble that joke. And they made the mistake of trying to assemble it on a carpet without putting a piece of cardboard down first. But that, Alistair, York, I think I've been there once before, but I weirdly, I can sort of only really remember it as a sort of dream, like I was just somehow just

there for an afternoon, which seems unlikely because it's very far away from you to only go for an afternoon. Yeah, for me, sure. My wife has York haunting her dreams because where the gorilla from Tintin, the Black Island. Oh? Would chase her along the city walls of York. Wow. And did you, because obviously, Yorkheads, who are listening, will know, the city walls in York are broken in many places by major roads. So when you have to get down off the city walls and then stand at the traffic lights to cross. Yeah, press the button, wait for the...

Did the guerrilla just patiently wait? And then they continue the chase. Yeah, well, she had to wait for the green person. And the gorilla had to wait for the green gorilla. Fortunately, the green person gets to go first. That's good. There used to be a vegan bakery in Newcastle called Green Gorilla. Oh, yeah. Yeah, but then they shut down over lockdown.

What a fascinating anecdote, Alistair. That's a cool story. There's so many. There used to be a, it shut down in lockdown. Yep, yes. Yeah. Yeah. I tell you what, just if we're shouting out little independent type shops,

Can I give a shout out to Saw Thumbs? Oh. It's a retro video game shop. This is new. There was no Saw Thumbs when I was there. I passed it and I was like, this is absolutely a shop designed for me. And it was Sunday morning and it wasn't yet open. And I was so nervous that I wasn't going to get to go into it.

That I mentioned it every sort of five minutes. We went up to visit my wife's Scottish family. so they came and met us in the middle, which is York. Oh, it's on Gilly Gate? Yeah, just by the art gallery. Yes, yeah. And the car park. No, that's new on me.

That's a new one. It's got nezes. It's got super Famicoms. It's got Famicoms. It's got Japanese games. Wow. It's got a Master System 2. I don't think it had a Master System 1, to be fair.

I may be able to beat you on fascinating York Shop Law. I think I might have brought this up on the podcast before. Oh, yeah. Parallel to Gilly Gate on the other side of York is Goodrum Gate. And on Goodrum Gate, there is the PDSA, the people's dispensary for sick animals. Not to be confused with the Cats Protection League. Right. It is believed.

That's why for legal reasons we're going to say, it is believed by me, by I believe, that Harold Bishop from Neighbors volunteered there once. Wow. It was all over the city. Have you been to the PDSA? No, Harold Bishop from Neighbours is volunteering there. He's dispensing sick animals. If you needed a sick animal, you went straight to the bish.

Oh, wow. So that is, I'm not going to say a fact, but a thing that I believe. That is, I mean, if that is a sort of wrongly remembered dream, then that is the sort of the light side to my wife's being chased by a comic gorilla. And then it removes the head and it's Harold Bishop inside. That's where he was when he went missing. He was living life as a gorilla. Dispensing sick animals.

Yep. Oof. Or beating up animals. That's just the way he described it. Goodrum Great is barely parallel to Jilly Gate. I'm looking at it on a map. That was in my head they're parallel. Goodrum grade's very wiggly.

It's also in York. They're all wiggly. It's lovely wiggledy, higgledy, piggledy streets around there. It's terribly wiggledy. I used to work on Grape Lane. Oh, okay. Historically, Grope Lane, obviously. Yes, yes.

I worked there in a games shop. Don't look for it. It's not there anymore. Compendium of games. It was board games and chess and that sort of thing. Well, we were, I don't worry, listeners. There are some very scary stories coming up. In fact, one is so scary.

I'm glad I didn't read about it until after I'd been there because it's quite frightening. Sorry, listen, you're not happy with us just remembering shops that aren't there anymore. and also actors from neighbours who aren't there anymore. And gorillas that were never there. And then dreams about things that might have happened there. Is that not good enough for you?

If we can actually get so self-referential that we remember our own podcast, there is the Amy Gledhill episode. Of course. Brother Jakundas. The Brother Jakundas episode found that you and her potentially cross paths. We may have in a, yes, in a quiet, Well, I was going to say scandalous fashion.

I wasn't scandalised, but Amy was being quite scandalous. And I was there. There was some nakedness within a shrubbery and you saw a policeman chasing some naked people out of a shrubbery. Yes, indeed. And Amy was chased naked from a shrubbery.

Yeah. Roughly the same time. Unless this was a weekly occurrence. It could have happened a lot. Where was the shrub... I couldn't remember where the shrubbery was. Was it? The museum gardens.

There's the abbey in museum gardens here, St. Merritt. And is that by the museum that's by that video game shop? Yes, not far at all. Oh, right. There's the video game shop, then the gallery, then the museum. Just as to the side of the museum is the sex abbey, where people have sex, obviously. And then there's the museum gardens. Ah, now then, but I did go to a lovely little bookshop.

I think it was called Apple Tree Bookshop. Yes, on Petergate? Mm, boozing? Or near... I don't know. It's possible that it's moved. But the Little Apple Bookshop, I think. Little Apple Bookshop.

Yes, next to the three-legged mayor pub. Yes, I have often bought books from now. Really? Well, we were staying quite near that, in fact, on Presentor Lane. Ooh. Precentor, which has got a C in it. It sounds like a presenter, like, you know... Is it Presenter Court?

Proser. I'm looking at the map, yeah. Which is... I'm telling you, listener, it's on Petergate. It's not on Bitham. He doesn't know what he's talking about. It is very near to the bells. It's right next to the Minster.

It's very near the Minster. It's right next to the Cathedral. You know, it's both. You can call it both. Okay, I wouldn't sure what a Minster was. I know what a cathedral is. Well, you've seen one now. It's York Minster.

I've heard it. Boy, oh boy. They start at two minutes before. 4-8 because they got to warm up to do the big eight bongs and it was Mother's Day so they did like a mega mix on Sunday of all the classic bell-based tunes. Ding dong, ding dong. Oh yeah. Did they do that one?

Did they do ding dong, ding dong? Absolutely. That's going to be stuck in my head all day. It's really a worm that, isn't it? Yeah, it was noisy. but also around there I found from the book that I got from Little Apple Bookshop. I picked up a couple of books. I got Haunted York by Rupert Matthews and Ghosts and Gravestones of York by Philip Lister.

And York is famously, I'm sure we've said this, supposedly the most haunted city in Britain, or England at least. It is thick with them. There's a lot of ghost talks. It's thick with ghost walks. Yeah. If there's one ghost per walk, that's still a lot of ghosts. Ghosts. Unsurprisingly, where I was staying right next to the Minster was bang in the middle of Ghost Country. Oh yeah, Ghost Central. According to Haunted York by Rupert Matthews, in 1964,

they were doing some work on the west front of the Minster, which is the side of the Minster that was where the blooming noise was coming out of for me. And there's a lot of famous, the gargoyles or grotesques. They're not actually gargoyles. Some of them were gargoyles. because they have water coming through them. Hey, listener, I'm a heavier. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Scrumple up that strongly worded letter. It's not needed.

For that point, don't worry. Oh, there'll be other mistakes, yeah. Maybe uncrumple it and just cross out some of the words because there'll be mistakes. But in 1964, they were doing some work on it, and this lady who was visiting was watching the stone masons at work, and she noticed a particularly intricately carved piece of stonework, And she was, you know, when people are working, do it.

When people are good at what they're doing, it's worth watching them. Oh, yeah. And the minster's constantly being repaired. If you are, not, is it, is it Ogletforth? It's not far away from that is the yard where the Mason's work. And the gates are often open. So you can see people working huge, huge blocks of sandstone that are, you know, to be added to the minster. So, yeah.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know why I'm saying that. What I'm saying is stone masonry, very impressive. Yes, it is. And you know, actually that has solved a little mystery. Because when we were walking around the walls, we saw this big workshop. And we were like, what could they be doing in there?

There's these big extractor funds and bits of stone. Stone cutting materials are like, it must be some sort of artisanal thing. It's like, now you say that. It's like, oh, yeah, they're obviously just repairing. The constant repair of the minster slash cathedral. Yeah, it's like Trigger's broom. They're just constantly building the minster. Well, when she was looking at them

doing this bit of intricate stonework, one of the masons ambled up and stood beside her. And she glanced at him. Sorry, can I just pause there? To let the listener know, I also think this is a ghost, but carry on, James. Have I not misled you enough with my anecdotes? No, no, you took me in completely.

I believe this man is a living human stone mason, carry on. Well, she sort of glanced at him and saw he was squat and scruffly dressed with a clothed cap. Clown, a slightly old-fashioned clothes. Yeah, and a weird hat that she didn't really know what sort of hat it was. Okay, okay. Sounds like a human man. Looked up at her and smiled and said, I carved that. Do you like it?

And before she could answer, he vanished. So don't look for that stone mason. He's fallen into not being there. anymore. He's a ghost, yeah. Right up until the point where he vanished, it could have just been a liar.

So, I mean, this is the sort of place we are there. Ghost can literally just come up to you and have a little chat and then disappear. Yeah. There's so many of them. It is a weirdly haunting place,

especially around Christmas time, I think. Because you're always hearing choirs singing and sort of, if it snows, it's very, it's spooky. I bet it's well spooky. It feels like the veil is thin. Yeah, because the lamps are all like old-fashioned lamps as well

and you do feel that you might not be able to tell if you had done a time slip or had a chat with a Stone Mason ghost or liar. Or ghost liar. You know what? Could have been a Stone Mason from a different time that was a liar. Yeah, and once I was in the PDSA picking up a VHS of neighbours

and a man next to me, I didn't quite see him, said I was in that. And then when I looked around, it was Harold Bishop. And he was putting on a big gorilla costume. Yeah, he was. He was. So I'm saying it's spooky. There's loads of ghosts within the minster.

There's another one, which is the ghost of Dean Gale. And again, I need to... Ding Gail. I need to point out... Dean's friend. I believe this Dean is also... It's a mark of rank. It's a church-based job being the dean.

He was there. in the late 17th century, and he won the admiration and respect of the citizens of York for his tireless and assidious... His tireless and assidious... Asiduous? I think assiduous, yeah. Yeah, assiduous. I put an eye in there for no reason, and ignored one of the S's.

Asiduous devotion to his duties, and he would always sit in the same seat in the choir, and he'd go to like all the services. He's a keen Dean. He's Dean Keen. You're Dean right, he's keen. Dean Gale died in 1702 and he was buried in the Minster. And is tomb still there apparently? You can still see that and you could go along yourself and go bingo.

Well, good. I'm glad this tomb still there because if I'd been buried in the minstrel and they got rid of it, I'd be really annoyed. And Mr. Hawley was invited to read one of the lessons in the Holy Communion. And he did his lesson and at the end of it, he just suddenly froze. And then sort of like, oh, kind of came down and people like, oh, what's up? What's the matter? And he looked over at Dean Gale's seat where Dean Gale normally sat and you'll never guess what he saw that.

It was Dean Gale. Harold Bishop, yeah. A gorilla. It's Harold Bishop dressed as Dean Gale dressed as a gorilla. It was Dean Gale. Wow. sitting as usual sit. And apparently people have, in later years as well,

when they've read like a particular lesson, or just any lesson, really. They've looked over and they've seen Ding go, sat in his Dean's seat. Wow. Which, you know, that's pretty spooky. Very spooky. Another ghost thing happened in the 1840s,

and this was reported in a local magazine. None of the witnesses were named because it was the 1840s. The only persons identified by their initials, B.L. And he was showing some friends around the Minster. And the daughter, a young lady, father and mother wandered off. And he was walking around with her. And as they were sort of milling around, because the whole Minster area is really big, isn't it? Yes. Yeah. There's a Minster and there's a large sort of garden area around it. And then surrounding that is lots of,

mostly church buildings of various kinds. Well, as they were going to cross a road, there was a a man coming towards them in full naval uniform, which is in the 1840s is quite, that's probably a bit much to be like knocking around a city centre in. So naval uniform is a uniform that just covers your midriff, is that right? Yeah, it's just an elaborate belt. Actually, quite saucy to just wear a large, cummerd and nothing else. No, you know, 1840s naval uniform. I mean, it's going to be full of brass and little clips and stuff.

It's the collar. It's got, they've got the, the, um, buttons. I bet it's full of buttons. I bet it's like, it's like Duttons for Buttons, the Button Shop in York. I saw Duttons for Buttons. I couldn't remember why I knew it, but is that, is that because of you? I must have told you about it. You mentioned Dutton's for buttons.

It is your main, main button repository, if you live in the veil. Ah. The main one? Wait a minute. There's more. Yeah, you're just like. Like street button sellers, yeah. If you want to get a pirate knockoff button, yes.

It's only got three holes. What I'm supposed to do with this? Yeah, there's this guy walking towards him. Full Navy uniform. B.L. thinks that's a bit odd. Probably goes to say something funny to the girl next to him. And she's just stood stock still. She's gone pale.

She looks quite frightened. And the guy walks up to them. And he looks at the young woman and said, there is a future state. Oh. And the girl swoons and collapsed onto a pew. And B.L. dashed over to her thinking that she was ill or something, obviously, because she was just fallen over. And he looked around to see the naval officer vanished.

Yeah. Fallen into not being there instantly. And the young lady recovered her composure. And she said, don't tell my parents about that what happened. But I'll tell you later. Okay. Very mysterious. And that evening, she told him the story that that was her brother.

Oh. Who was at that point on a boat in the Navy. Oh, a classic vision of someone who had at that moment died somewhere else. Yes. And apparently the brother and sister had promised each other that when one or other room died first, they would find a way to come and tell the other one if there was an afterlife. Like, if they did become a ghost, they would go and haunt the other one and be like, yeah. And that was his message.

Wow. There is a future state. Mm. Mm. And then a few days later, a message arrived from the Navy. Yeah, he died. Wow. At the probably exact time.

Of definitely the exact time. No point even checking. You couldn't tell. Like, did they even know about time zones back then? We've talked about this before, haven't we? I think you and I have talked with a very little. information and much guessing about this before. How did anyone know what time anything was in those days?

We don't know. And it's not the humaniters know. It's James and I don't know. Yes, yes, yes. We don't know. So, oh, another one just to tie into our previous episode, the brother Jakondas episode, it's not in the museum gardens,

but in the Minster, there is a naked ghost. Wow. There's a ghost of a naked man. Like a brag. who he, it was a guy who in 1829 tried to burn down the Minster he'd had a terrible time he'd he'd been in the Navy, he'd also been in the Navy

and received a wound to his head and had not got the help that he needed that could be quite bad for you, unfortunately but he tried to burn it ultimately tried to burn down the Minster at the band at the same time notably took all his clothes off well that's a sensible precaution

if you're going to start a fire I think. Exactly. It could have been a shell suit. Safety. Yeah. But yeah, his ghost apparently prances around stark naked.

But the true scariest thing. I'm very excited about this, James. You've really built this one up as the most frightening thing. It's not a very long story and there's no explanation, which I think adds to it terror. Which actually makes it better. And it says here, it says in Haunted York by Rupert Matthews,

One of the houses in this little court has long been rumoured to be haunted. I've tried to find out which one it is, but I can't find out what number it was, so I don't know if it's the one I was staying at, or the one that we were all staying at, all this family. Now, this ghost only manifests when the house is empty. And if you knock on the door as such a time, the door will be opened by the ghost of a young girl aged around eight. And this phantom child manages to emit an aura or atmosphere

that's so powerful and so deeply frightening that those who encounter it almost invariably flee at once. Wow. And when they try and return, they knock on the door, there's no answer until the next time. Terrifying.

Very terrifying. People getting really bad vibes off that kid. Yeah. Oh. One of the like, oh, is your mum? Yeah. Sorry, go ahead. Is your mum in?

Or she is. Come and see. Oh, it's. Yeah, I think we're in Black Eyed Children Territory We're tapping into... This is getting around the black eyed kids vibe. Yeah, so that really... That scared you did it.

That put the willies up me. I don't know which house it was. Just knocking all the doors until you find out. There's not that many. To be honest, there's not that many. It's a very short street. Would you dare knock on all the doors to find out? I just don't think I'd be afraid of a small girl.

There's some... She got a weird vibe. Okay, yeah, I'm forgetting about the vibe. She's got bad vibes. Real bad vibes. Yeah, wow. So that really scared me. I don't know why, but even reading it just then, it scared me again.

Oh, that's quite sweet that you were scared. Are you ready to score? Yes, please. Excellent. Naming. Well, York is a fine city with many great names. Even presenter court is great. Alistair, I'm sorry.

I have to stop you there. Okay. Can't believe we've gotten this far into the recording of me talking about going to York and I've not spoken about the Yorvik Viking Centre. James, you're absolutely right. It's unprecedented for us to pause the scoring at this point.

Yeah. Well, it's somewhat precedented for us to get distracted during scoring. Yeah. We have not talked about the Yorvik Viking Centre and that's because you already sent me photographs when you were there of the quite unimpressive mannequins. There, terror.

Some of them blink. And I think it's It's scarier. I think that was people, and that was a person, James. Were they wearing AirPods? Because it's a real person. But when it gets to Halloween, you could pop a person in,

and that would really... It's very interesting history-wise, but it's very scary, experience-wise. Yeah, it's the uncanny valley experience. And, of course, the smell. Yes. Did they manage to create that smell,

the classic smell, of whatever that smell is meant to be when it's a reconstruction, Yes, the past. A vaguely sort of manurey historical smell. Yes, the bad smell. And I told you that me and my wife managed to inadvertently recreate it by mixing a Kit Kat Orange and a can of Starbucks.

You mix those together. It's a disgusting taste like the horrid smell of the Yorvik Viking Centre or the trenches experience or the Blitz experience from the Imperial War Museum. I can only imagine in other countries where they have these experiences, it's probably the same smell. Yeah. But yeah, my gosh, it's terrifying. They've also got the second biggest fossilized poo.

The second biggest, number two, then, you would say. Yes, exactly. Right then. Anyway, thank you. That was the obligatory Yorvik Vikincenta. sidebar. Well, and another great name. Yes. Yorvik Viking Centre. It's full of great names, York. Lloyds Bank, Corpict. The Shambles, Jilly Gate. Goodrum Gate. Oh, I went to Whitmer Wattmer Wattmer Gate. Whitmer Wattmer Wattmer Gate. What? He went to Whitmer Wattemwap. I did the joke as well

that I said I'd do. And what, can you, can I can't really remember the details of the joke. What was the joke? It was somewhere along the like, you had to sort, you know the idea of American scandals like being Watergate. Yes. And what on earth happened here? Can I just ask, James, has the joke started? Is this you,

is this the joke? That was part of the joke. Much like the earlier one. Is that the setup? It's broadly flat packed. Hmm. Yeah, pre-center court. Oh, hi Petergate.

Hi, Peter Gate. Hi, Peter Gate. Yes. Went to Monk Gate. Moot Bar, sorry. Bootham. Monk Bar. And I said,

Monks. And none of the family knew what I was doing. They don't listen. to the podcast. Evidently not listeners. Very, very rude. Yeah, that's a classic York joke, which I probably said in a previous episode, that the streets are called gates and the gates are called bars,

and the bars are called pubs. Oh, that's very nice. Lovely snuff. Yes, yes. It's a little succinct than my Watergate one. A little neater, a little neater than the Whippa Wapagate. Have you heard about American scandals? You know how they do that, right.

Okay, keep that in your head. That's the first piece of information you need to know. Secondly, do you know which street this is? Have you seen that? Don't look at it yet. Don't finish reading it. It's not very big this street. And that's kind of the point.

The sign's kind of bigger than the street. I've forgotten why I was going to say that. All right. In that case, I'll put you out of your misery. I think it's a four out of five for names. Yes. That's good. That's good.

And I'm only taking one point off because we didn't have any good names for the characters, the witnesses in the story. Oh, B.L. They all had just initials. B.L. You know, that could be anything.

And that could be, that could be Barry Lovens. Now, if he'd been called Barry Lovens, there's a point, but we don't know. Second category then is... It could have been called Barnaby Lush. He could have been called Barnaby Lush. He could have been called Benny Lane. And he was the actual inspiration for the Beatles song. Yeah.

Yes. Could have been called... Bellinor Ligby. Yes. Yes. Or. Bello Lomb Marine. Boktufus's Larden.

The Bightlal album. See, I fear this is on the same level as the American scandal joke in there. It's impossible to explain as a concept. Yeah, I'm not sure what we're doing here. What's the second category? I think it was naming. I think it should have been naming because we've already done that. We just did name me.

It can't be naming again. The second category is Beatles songs. Weirdly, they're only allowed to... They have to start with the initials B and L. And we don't know why. No, it is supernatural, right? Oh, very supernatural. Yeah, there was a very creepy girl ghost.

Very creepy girl. A classic of the genre. There's a very, which is creepy in a different sort of way, the naked ghost. Prancing nakedly. The keen dean. Yes, he's always there on his seat, checking up on people. And they're potentially lying, let's not slander the honest. That was definitely the ghost of a mason, 100%.

Yes, yes. And the naval guy, the naval brother. Yeah, I mean, I was kind of, I was going to, I was going to, it wasn't that supernatural, but that was five, I was going to say solid ghosts. Five insubstantial ghosts. That's the best way. Yeah. So I suppose it's got to be five out of five. What can I do? Wonderful. Yes. Okay then. What's the next category? It is, well their face rings a bell. Because of the bells in the church. Yes. There were a lot of people recognising people. She recognised her brother. She did. The specter of her brother. Keene Dean was recognised.

Yes. In his local spot. Mm-hmm. Very good. Dean Gale. Sorry, I forgot his name there. Ben-Go. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Go. De go. Yeah. And... Do you know, monk? He's not a monk. He's not a monk. He's not a monk adjacent, no.

He's monk adjacent. And when you ring a bell, you get that unheimlich, unfamiliar face. Who may be a familiar. Maybe they're a familiar. Mm. From the girl. I'm talking about the girl at the wistry hands. house.

Yes. Yeah. Now, I'm afraid to say, I didn't find that girl's story as scary as you did, James. Why not? I don't. I don't know why. I just don't find it as frightening as you that a girl answered the door once. What?

A weird girl. Yeah, a weird girl with bad vibes answer the door. I'm just not very frightened by that. Well, all right then. So, yeah, I'm going to say to three, though, because there were a lot of people being reminded of other people by ghosts. So that's pretty good. Yeah.

That's good. It's respectable. Nice one. Okay. Final category. When dead neighbors become dead friends. Ah, yes. Yes.

Harold Bishop, we thought he was dead. Yes. But he, a fact, had amnesia. Yeah. And then he came back from the dead. He'd gone to York to dispense cats. Yes. Some of those sick animals probably did die.

And certainly by now, all of them will be dead. But they're still good friends. Yes. If there had have been a gorilla chasing people around the medieval castle walls in the 80s and 90s, that was also definitely dead. Yeah, probably would have been shot by animal keepers or something, at least shot with some kind of dart. Yes.

and probably old age. I'm not sure what age gorillas live to. Yeah, no, no me neither actually. Sure what age, sorry, cartoon gorillas lived to out of Tintin. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, we can't possibly speculate. We can never know. That would definitely be a dead friend by now. And I was potentially neighbours with a ghost. And of course you were next door to a ghost. Or maybe even in the same. building as the little girl ghost, James. I'm really, really worried that I was.

I did knock on the door. I heard, because I forgot the key. And? Just, it was answered just by normal vibes. Normal vibe family. A normal vibes family. Okay. Yeah.

So what's what we're going to go with? Oh, yeah. It's five out of five. Absolutely. Yeah. When dead neighbors become dead friends. Yes. And I used to live there.

So, yeah, I used to live in York as well. So these ghosts were all. my neighbours as well. They were your ghost neighbours. And they were all around me now. Yes. I was trying to think of a Beatles song to sort of round the episode off. I was trying to think of another Beatles song.

Yeah, me too, honestly. I just got stuck on Bon Lenin, which is obviously French for good Lenin. And Paul McCartney, Borge Harrison. Lingo. A friend of mine, bingo la. The Weird Rule Beatles

Yeah, I've had a lot of fun with this episode But this is going to be one of the No, don't start with that one episodes No, it won't make sense Don't start, you know, it's good, but don't start with that one. You really, yeah. You don't want to explain bingo la. So yeah, you're not going to York, but you are going to Leeds.

Leeds and Sheffield. Although Sheffield is sold out. Is it? And probably last week, based on when this will be released. No, I think it might be this week. Oh, okay, all right. Well, it's still sold out. Fair enough.

A time machine won't help you. Thank you very much for listening, everyone. If you want to hear extra bits, probably where we talk a bit more about your vision. Viking Centre and other things, then go to patreon.com forward slash lawnprod. Thank you very much for everyone who already supports us in that manner. Yes, thank you indeed, thank you.

And that's that. That's the end of that. And that's that. That's the end of that. Bye. Don't have nightmares. Because I will. What's some of the other places you go into?

Let's have a dear did a lidda. I am coming to Chelmsford. nearly sold out. The Birmingham Glee Club, Tumbridge Wells, Trinity Theatre, I think. The Hazlitt Theatre in Maidstone. The Norwich Playhouse,

which I think is, I think that's selling quite well, so I don't know if there's tickets left for that. Leeds City varieties, there are definitely tickets left, go and see me in Leeds. Manchester Home, yes, that's good. Lester Square,

Colchester Art Centre, Cambridge Junction, Swindonard Centre, Salisbury Art Centre, Aldershot, West End Centre. I think that's close, that's close. So if you want to see me an older shot, act fast.

And then back to the Leicester Square Theatre on the 11th of April. For the lap of victory lap. Exactly, for a victory lap. I won't even be doing any, I won't do any jokes. It's going to be like the last day in school. I'll just bring in a board game.

Nice. You can wear your own clothes. Yeah, I'll be wearing my own clothes. Yeah. Nice one.