Loremen Podcast - Loremen S7Ep11 - James Hind, Highwayman

Episode Date: March 26, 2026

It's the big three-oh-OH! Yes, the Loreboys have turned in a triple century of episodes (depending on how you do the sums). To celebrate, James returns to his home town with a tale of a "hero of the road". The highwayman James Hind robbed from the rich and gave, mostly, to himself, but sometimes a little bit to the poor. The poor being the people he had just relieved of their money, more often than not. Look, he's a complex character / criminal. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠See Alasdair On Tour in 2026!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Join the LoreFolk at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/loremenpod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ko-fi.com/loremen⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Check the sweet, sweet merch here... ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.teepublic.com/stores/loremen-podcast?ref_id=24631⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ @loremenpod ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠youtube.com/loremenpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/loremenpod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.facebook.com/loremenpod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Lawmen, a podcast about local legends and obscure curiosities from Days of Yore. I'm James Shakeshaft. I'm Alastairke-King. Oh boy, oh boy, have we got a 300 episode special for you, listener? And also you, Alistair. Yeah, have we? Yeah, big time. We have?

I've done loads of research. It's the tale of how. Highwayman, James Hind. Hindwayman. Hindwayman. It doesn't really work. Mm-hmm. No.

Alistair Beckett hyphen king. Hello, James shake hyphen shaft. When did you get rid of the hyphen? Just go with shake shaft. It's like, it's kind of like the opposite of Spider-Man. Like, I just, after a while, I just accepted people weren't going to. Everyone thought it was just shake-shaft, so you just made it shake-shaft. Yeah, may as well.

But I'm not, no, I'm actually, I am but a man. And I am a law man. And so are you, Alistair. We both are. I know we have been for, I think, nine years at this point. Yes. We started in 2017. It's the nine-year anniversary, which is exactly the kind of way we do an anniversary

if you ever listen to an almanac episode. Well, what we'll do is we'll wait till next year and do a joint ninth-year anniversary. But it's also a sort of anniversary that may be more quantifiable this very episode, isn't it? Yeah. I think, probably. The 300th episode, if you don't include some of the episodes that we don't count. Yeah. Thank you very much the law folk from the lawfolk discord, which you can join.

We'll tell you about that later. Why, because it's possible to join? Oh, yeah. You can join. Oh, easy. It's as easy as having the internet and some money. Well, no. Yeah, which is actually these days.

It's not that easy. No. I didn't realize we were doing social commentary this early on in the pod. Yeah, 300 episodes in. But yes, according to some wonderful statistician law folk, some score folk, if you will, this is the 300th episode discounting, rightly minisodes. Yep. and double episodes where we've had one episode go over two episodes.

For example, I think the 150th episode was two-parter. Yeah, yep, that's confusing. Which does make sense. And do we include Chris Cantrell episodes? Are they canon? Even though he just talks a lot of nonsense and it's not really folklore? I think we count them and the episode that I had to put out afterwards that corrected the previous Chris Cantrell episode.

Right, they both counted, do they? That all counted, yeah. Either way, we're in the region of 300 episodes. To be fair, we only did eight in the first year. Yes, yes, that's true. So we started off gently. We did. Eight first year, 13, second year, third year.

I think we ran to 140 something. Yeah, just a normal podcast trajectory there. Classic. Well, James, I have the scoremen spreadsheet open for me, compiled by the scorefolk aforementioned. Thanks, scorefolk. So I'm going to put you on the spot here. Go on.

It's not surprising that some of the guest deputy law people have done better than others. Yes. I wonder, are you happy to play favourites? Who do you think it was the best? purely in score terms who do you think has the highest score of all of our guests? Right.

Now. And this is average score. So obviously people have appeared more than once probably likely to be lower. But some people, I think, maybe even the first Eureko episode were their five categories. Oh yeah, that's the other thing

we have completely changed the number of categories you do. But again, this is average. Okay, average. So I don't think the number of categories would affect it, except in as much as the number has the more categories you have, the more likely you are to score, you know, to not have a

perfect score. So I think potentially... And that's a clue, which is that our winner has a perfect score out of 20. I've got two. I've got it down to two in my mind. One is, it could be Richard Herring, and it could be that we were slightly in awe because he is a bit of a legend of the times. Richard Herring is very high.

He is very high, right, but he's not the one. He's the other one. The other one that I think I recall, because I think her episode was a particular high scorer, was Marieline Robertson. It's Marlene Robertson with 20 out of 20 a perfect score. Absolutely trashing Richard Herring, who sits on 17. Oh, whoa, he dropped three big points there. Yeah. Yeah.

Ooh. Although, you know, I mean, Annie Gladhill is also on 17, so. And she's like a triple guest or something. Yeah, exactly. Very impressive. So, with that out of the way, who do you think are worst?

And again, I'm in this purely in scoring terms. Oh, so it's not Chris Cantrell. Otherwise, you wouldn't have to put that caveat in. Yeah, not morally. But who is, who, who scored the lowest according, again, to the spreadsheet? I can't, I can't believe this. I find this hard to believe, but I think you'll be shocked.

The thing is, Jenny's been on a number of times, Jenny Collier. Yep. So that could potentially bring that average down. Jenny's law count is 11. But let me tell you, James, I'll give you another hint. This person has only been on once. So it has absolutely no excuse for such a pitiful score. Is it Sunil?

Sunil's been on more than once. He's been on more than once. Although actually Sanil's a pretty bad score. Sinal's on 12.33. Whoa. With four appearances. Recurring. Infinite threes? Yep.

Well, I don't know about that. But yep, I'm going to say yes. We don't know about maths. I'm not clicking into the cells to see if it's recurring. Bear in mind. Bear in mind when we're looking at these scores, James, your average is 15 and mine is 15.4 recurring. And mine is 16.67415303.3708.

You've got a 6.7 in there because you are so down with the kids. Yeah. I would just round it up to seven. Sorry, kids. I'll tell you, I'll give you another clue of who it isn't. Yeah. Second to last is Ed Knight. Oh.

Wonderful Ed Knight, but he told a very unsupernatural series of stories. Ah. Was it around that time? No. No. I don't think he even get it. Is it an early deputy? It's, I think it's from the same.

second series of memory serves. No. Not poor John Longer. It's not Jonathan Longertham. Not Pierre Novelli. It's Pierre Navelli. It's loser Pierre Navelli. Oh no.

With a pitiful, let me get this right, because I can't believe this, but I'm looking at the data in front of me, eight. Wasn't he like our first ever guest as well? I think he might have. We treated him so shabbily. That's very bad for...

You're like coming our podcast. and then we will give you the lowest score we will then ever give anyone. Outrageous. This is the opposite of a come get me. We need to get him back on to... We need to get him back on to address that balance. That makes his score look even smaller.

Yeah. Oh dear. Oh dear. I feel terrible about that. Oh, wait a minute. I've discovered why. We only did three categories for it. That's the reason.

Oh. So Pierre couldn't... Couldn't have scored more than 15. But still, he got barely half of that. Yeah, yeah, quite his average score. Well, actually, I'm not sure about the maths there. No. He scored five out of five for naming.

Of course. Four for Supernatural and three for the category of cow. That sounds like more than eight. That does sound like more than eight, but James, we are not maths people. No. I trust that that's correct. I trust the scorefolk. The scorefolk would know.

Yeah. Oh, no. No, I'm sorry, James. I was just giving you your scores for the Mickleton Hooter. That's completely inaccurate. Oh, thank goodness. Let's start again. Of course, that's a 5 out of five for naming.

Oh, all right. You're going to have to edit around this. Okay, I see what's happened here. Right. Yeah, the format wasn't quite clear. We only did three categories. Ah. But the third category was who benefits question mark.

And that category received a score of question mark. Ah. So we only had to got scored in two categories. He really only got scored in two categories. Yeah, so we really, we set him up. I think we need him back to up those stats. We need to, I mean, he's a terribly busy boy, but if we can get him back on, we would be lucky to have him.

Yeah, exactly. Alistair, I have a tale for you today. I've been itching to do it for some time. Well, let's scratch that itch. Now then. It comes from Chipping Norton, which is the town I grew up in. Chippy. Chippy.

Chippy. Nauty. Chippy, naughty. Chippy naughty. Oh, we didn't know. No, we never called it that. No, good. It sounds horrible.

Yeah. So there is, well, there's a legend of a guy. There's a guy, I think he's a historical guy called James Hind, who's a highwayman. But this is just a bit of foreshadowing. At the end of the story, it gets pretty spooky and a bit more related to me. Okay. Are we looking forward to a Shakespeare cameo? In a way, yes.

So first of all, thanks very much to Mike White, because this is an extract from his newest book called Rokes, which is a book of Assorted Highwayman. And his first chapter deals with James Hind, Argyne, who was born in 1616 in the merry town of Chipping Norton in Oxfordshire. So 16, they named it 16. Exactly. Again. Again, just gone quarter past four, you could say. And this guy, his father, was respectable.

It was a sadler. He was pious. And James, who was the 10th of 13 children. Oh, yeah, I know. That's a lot of children. You know that you have like, oh, he's the middle child. I guess people didn't do that so much when you had 13 of them. Yeah.

Is the middle 10 children. And at 15, he was apprenticed to a local butcher. However, it turns out this butcher was a bit of a douche. He had a rough and quarrelsome temper. He was a grumpy butcher. That's good because they usually have lots of knives and cleavers. That's exactly the kind of profession you don't want a bad-tempered man to have. Yes.

So unsurprisingly, James got himself out of that. He borrowed three pounds from his mum and that covered the cost of starting a new life in London. Yep, I was going to say three pounds probably went quite a long way in those. days. Yeah. It would be easily double that now. Yeah. Imagine if he'd blown it all on smashed avocados.

Yeah. Take note, millennials. But no, he went to big London town and got all up himself. That's usually what happens. He got at least 13 pamphlets written about him. Okay. Fair of all. Yeah, I was being mean there, but that's more notoriety than I've achieved.

Muldo Pamp He did, however, when he went to London, frequent inns and gambling dens and consorted with some of the ladies. Oh dear, dear, dear, dear. What's his name? James Hind.

I want to say his name, disapprovingly. Dear, dear, dear James Hind. Oh, yes. He, well, he was sort of arrested as an accomplice because his consort one evening was arrested for theft. So in one of the pamphlets about him called A pill to purge melancholy, Melancholy, a pill to purge melancholy,

published by Robert Wood from 1652. Robert Wood. Bobby Wood. It had the subtitle, Let Him Whose Mind Perplexed Is with Melancholy Fits, Buy and Reader this little book and Twill preserve his wit. So it's like, I guess it's like a little book of calm.

Yeah, yeah, really like a little book of calm. It's because this guy's just a funny guy. James Sanders is a funny guy. He was very quotable, very famous. Apparently he was carousing at a vaulting school on Chancery Lane. A vaulting school? I don't know what a vaulting school. Yeah, I meant to look up what a vaulting school was.

I don't know if that's a euphemism for something. Whenever you see a good vaulter, you think what's your secret vaulting school. But he was carousing. at this vaulting school on Chancery Lane with some ladies of pleasure. Sorry, can we just stop a second? Do people go to the school or do horses go to the school? That's a great question.

Maybe both. Because there must be horses, but do the horses already know how to vault and the people are being trained? Well, you know, at drama school, it does, not only the actors, it also does the backstage people. So it's kind of a similar thing.

Yes. Yeah, but in that case, you're not literally being. carried by them. It's more figurative. Yeah. Hmm. Yeah, that's a good point. So when you're starting out, you start not knowing how to vault on a horse that has no idea what's going on.

Yeah, surely they're going to pair them up. Maybe they pair, they like do it the opposite way around. So like the third-year horses go with the first year people. So that they, you know, they start practicing on that. And then once you get quite good, you actually are teaching the horse. That's a good point. You know, they probably thought this through without you and me, having just heard what a vaulting school is coming up with this stuff.

Yeah. They've probably worked it out. They probably aren't just throwing in a naive baby horse and a kid and just saying working out yourselves. But they seem to be letting a bunch of ladies of pleasure and a carouser in there. Wow. Okay.

And so one of these ladies of pleasure commented on James's girlish good looks, which led to him dressing up as a woman and seducing a drunk lawyer to take him for a drink. Excellent. And they went to a pub called the devil tavern. And in the pamphlet it says, and so they went hand in hand to the devil, as all lawyers and thieves they will without repentance.

Very good, yes, and very subtle wordplay there. Yeah, but this is the little book of, this is a pill to purge melancholy. It's a bit... Yes, yes. I want somebody a bit snappier, thanks. How's your melancholy, James? Has it been purred?

It's not purged. I feel like maybe you want to lift melancholy. Purge suggests it's like a diuretic. I don't think you want to have the melancholic runs. No. I've got to go. I've got to get some melancholy out of me. But then you come out of the toilet looking delighted.

I'd leave it five minutes. Because of the stench of melancholy. Oh, dear. Oof. Hind then says that they go back to the lawyer's chambers. and he tied him up, robbed him, and left him to sort of think about what he'd done. Which was absolutely nothing.

Hind gets sort of set up as a bit of a Robin Hood-type figure. His robberies are dressed up as Merry News. It's sort of like mafia films or something kind of thing. There's this like kind of folklore-ish thing about him where he's kind of got, as you'll see from the stories about him, there's like he's got a bit of a wit and a vibe about him. Yeah. So he's now in London and he ends up falling in with a gang leader called Thomas Allen.

As far as I can tell is not the comedian Tom Allen. No, I'm glad you checked. And he goes out on all sorts of, and he goes out on robberies. So he steals £10 from a wealthy traveller. But the traveller tells him that's all the money he has in the world. So he returns part of him saying, Sir, his 40 shillings for you to bear all your charges. In regard, it is my hand sale.

So that was about two quid. So, you know, this robber is not all bad. He's four-fifths as bad as you were originally thought. Yeah, so he gave some of it back. Some of the money that he stole, he did give back. Okay, here's another thing. So he was going through Warwickshire. He went to an inn where there were two bailiffs and a usurer who were trying to collect a debt of 20 pounds from the innkeeper.

So he intervened, paid the money and said to the landlord, you can repay me whenever you want. He waited a little bit, went round, ambushed the bailiffs and stole back the £20 and another £20. And then he returned back to the inn and it says, he forgave the innkeeper his debt and gave him a fiver. Said he had good luck by lending to honest men. Well, I mean, it's good that he forgave the innkeeper his debt, bearing a mind that he had stolen that money back. Yes. And the guy didn't owe him it anymore. Yes.

Yeah. What a kind man. Yeah. Yeah. It's not exactly robbing from the rich and giving to the poor, so much as robbing from a money lender and just keeping yourself. Yeah. Yes, exactly. He, um, okay, he, he stopped a farmer near wantage and again was going to take away his money. And the farmer said it was his entire fortune and he was going to buy a cow with it. And Hind was like, okay, fair play. I do need this money though. But if you come back here in exactly, a week, I'll give you enough money to buy two cows.

That's where the story ends. It doesn't actually say whether we did it or not. That is, that, that's, okay. I don't blame Mike White for that. I blame Jimmy Hind. Mike points out that that is, the history is silent on whether Hind ever showed up.

With two cows worth of cash. Two cows worth of money, yeah. Now, around 1638, he married a Chipping Norton woman named Margaret Rowland. And he did settle down and he had four kids. And as Mike points out, well, not exactly settle down. He remained in associate with this Alan guy. The TV comedian Tim Allen.

Yes. Oh. He was still a criminal at large. And then 1642, I don't need to remind you what happened then, Civil War in England. Yes. Civil War I was just about to say yes. Civil War I did you say?

Civil War I just worrying. I wish to future proof. Okay, fair enough. Just in case, just in case. So the Allen gang joined, they are on the king's side. They're royalists. They got floppy hair and have flouting around with the big collars and stuff. I'm going off them now.

He served in the garrison of Sir William Compton. As in Long? Yeah, I guess so. It was near Bambury, which is kind of, Long Compton's kind of on the way to Bambury a bit. If you go fire Long Compton. Willie Long Compton. That could be his nickname in the middle. Oh, yeah.

There was a Little Compton. Little Compton. Maybe he was Willie Little Compton. We don't know. We don't know. If it was cold out. This is where James Hyde becomes Captain James Hyde. And it says it is a story that the Allen gang were involved in an attack on Oliver Cromwell himself.

Olly Croms. Himself? Yes, his very self. But the gang were soundly defeated by Cromwell's guards. Okay, yeah, a rare Cromwell win. Yeah, most of the gang in fact were captured and executed, but Hind managed to escape. And he sort of went solo on the highwaymaning.

What he would say to people when he got on, he didn't do the stand and deliver thing. He said, he would ask, who are you for? And if they replied the king, they get 20, shillings. But if they answered Parliament, I mean, he says, I quote, I left him as I found him. I don't think he did. I think he might have taken their money off of them. I don't, but he's giving away 20 shillings every time people, someone says, the king. Yeah. Wow. He robbed some big fish. There was a Hugh Peter who was apparently one of the regicides,

but his name isn't on the deck forum, but he was part of that. that crew. Peter and James exchanged biblical quotes during their little bout of highway, you know, whatevering robbery. Wow. Like a sort of turn-based RPG, just firing off biblical quotes. Yeah. Peter said, it is written within the law that thou shalt not steal. All red numbers coming off him. Hind smash back. Thou hadst regarded the divine precepts as thou ought to have done. Thou wouldst not have rested them to such a abominable and wicked sense as thou didst the words of the prophet. And he said, bind their king with chains and their nobles with fetters of iron.

I don't get it. It's not as catchy that one, but still. Yes. But he did have a slightly wittier one, which is from Song of Solomon. Do not despise a thief. And then he said, I'll shoot you if you don't give me your money. Pointed his own spin there on that. And then he took all his clothes.

He took, I think, and Peters then said, quoted Matthew 540 and said, him that taketh away thy cloak, forbid him not to take away thy coat also. So Hain took his coat as well. Right. Yep. Well, it's in the Bible. It is in the Bible. And that guy, Peter, that guy, Hugh Peter, did a church service. I guess he was a vicar. Quoted the Bible, Canticles 5.3, saying, I have put off my coat. How shall I put it on? And apparently someone from the back shouted out, you'd better ask Captain Hind. It's just bans. Yeah, because he's got your coat.

Yeah. Oh, Mike, where's your coat? Right. Captain Heinz got it. And then Mike here highlights another one of the regicide-based robberies, which is when he held up John Bradshaw, who was the man who had actually presided on the King's trial, and he managed to catch him on the road in Dorset.

Of course, I would have bloody loved the place. Thank you very much. And Heinz knew who he was, and he was unimpressed, and he was like, I have now as much power over you as you lately had over the king and I should do God and my country good service if I made the same use of it. Oh, he's saying kill him.

He'd saying he would be good to kill him, isn't he? Exactly. He didn't kill him. He did rob him and shoot all his horses. Oh, that seems unfair. The horses weren't involved? No, the horse is really innocent. Anyway, he found this other guy, a committeeman, right?

And that is a parliamentarian administrator and justice. and they would find royalists sympathizers and find them. And so obviously, Hind, it's not his kind of guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he hate that kind of guy. But this guy was travelling in disguise and he obviously word got round that if a highwayman stops you and says, who are you for? Say the king. Yeah.

And you get free 20 shillings. Yeah. It's the opposite of highway robbery. Exactly. He did. So he did that and he gave him the money. And then the guy went to the pub, got really drunk and told. everyone in the pub how he'd ripped off James Hind. And then he went upstairs to bed in the inn,

and you'll never guess who came in. Yeah, it was James Hind. Ian Botham. James Hind. Yes. So the next morning, he bumped, he just so happened to bump into the committeeman. And the committeeman said, friend, I was never so drunk in my life as I was last night. For I drunk the king's health, the queens, the princes and your health ten times over. And, And Hind replied, friend, I have found in you so many lies. And now I will make you call me rogue for something. And he stole 50 pounds off him, which is, you know, that's enough to go to London a bunch of times. Many times over, yeah.

And enjoy some smashed avocado. Yeah, yes. Even in modern day London, you get an avocado for that. You could just about. He found another one of the regicides, Major General Thomas Harrizzar. and he robbed 70 quid off him, but he was hotly pursued by the bodyguard, and he narrowly escaped.

He managed to get away with them, and then he heard another horse galloping up to him, and he turned and fired, but it wasn't a soldier at all. It was a servant on an errand which, an unrelated servant. Ah, collateral damage. You can imagine that going in all slow motion.

Yeah, no. And that apparently is the only murder in his whole career as a highwayman. I mean, that's still quite bad. One murder is quite bad, actually, James. That's more murders than me. You sort of phrased that like, well, that's the only murder, but one murder is enough. It's too many murders.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So it's well above the maximum murder limit of no murders. Of none murder. Yeah. None, please. So it was around this time, James Hind was waylaid by an old crone. Oh, okay.

It was a cunning woman. Good. and gave him a charm in the shape of a son, Dyal, dial spelled D-Y-A-L there. So it's from the Pamp, one of the Pumps. Yeah. And it made him invulnerable to harm for three years. And she said she would recharge it once it had expired.

This is like an RPG. Yeah, it's a bit, actually. Yeah, gives him plus one to quips. So 1649 comes round. Charlie One's been executed. Things aren't looking good for royalists in general. he fights on the king's side again he's involved in the Battle of Worcester

which is the one where King Charles ends up hiding in the tree and then disguising themselves of a servant to get away Have we heard Have we talked about this before or is this just a well-known thing? I think it's reasonably, I don't know if it's that well-known but I think it is round here

because it happened vaguely around the Cotswolds area and there's a bunch of pubs that are called the Royal Oak and they'll have like a picture of a tree with like a Charles the second peeking out from the branches. Oh, I don't think I know this story. Oh, maybe it is just round my way then.

Their pamps were published and a play, a play called an excellent comedy called The Prince of Prigs Rebels or the practices of that grand thief Captain James Hind relating divers of his pranks and exploits never heretofore published by any.

Just to be clear, does you describe that as an excellent comedy or is that the title of the play? part of the title. Right, okay. It's called an excellent comedy. Fair play. Go for it. You've got to back yourself in the... Yeah, absolutely. In the busy world of Pamps and Plays. There was a poem written about him. Okay, okay. Are we going to hear it? Yeah. Hind made our wealth a common store. He robbed the rich to feed the poor. Didn't. No, he didn't. No, he didn't. What did the immortal Caesar more. Yet when his country's cause invite,

see him assert a nation's rights, a robber for a monarch fights. It doesn't even make sense because if you rob the rich to feed the poor, you wouldn't be in favour of the king, would you? No, the king's the richest person around. Yeah, it doesn't make any sense. Yeah. He didn't rob the rich and give to the poor. He was just really sort of capricious about who he robbed from.

Yeah. Just really changeable and mercurial. That isn't being, that's not charity, is it? No. Is it? No. No, I was going to say, is it sort of charitable to the royalist because I suppose they were the underdog. Were they?

Were they? Oh, yeah, yeah, yes, once they lost the war, yeah. But, yeah. Anyway, he lays low in London, but is ultimately arrested by a squad of dragoons who burst into his room while he was drunk with an intimate, and he was taken to Newgate jail. and apparently it says the first action once he'd been sort of chained up

was to call for a mug of good ale with which to toast the king which is not they're not gonna like that no you gotta know your audience read the room Jimmy exactly and the room is a cell

in Newgate prison yes nice low ceiling good for comedy oh yeah yeah keeps the laughs in but the thing was the authorities didn't want to give him a platform because he's famous. He's really famous. Yeah, if they executed him,

they know he'd be showboating all the way to the scaffold. And people found him funny, but I don't know. I don't get it. It's not for me. If you like that sort of thing. He was supposed to be held in isolation

in Newgate, apparently, but loads of people were getting let in to visit him. It says his supporters, admirers, and pamphleteers. So this is where a lot of the sort of the legend, comes up around him as well, the later stuff. So their idea was they were going to ignore the treason because that would be the big ticket item.

So they sent him to Reading to stand trial for murder of a drinking companion, George Simpson, who he had killed in an argument over a bet. Okay, but does that not count towards his overall murder count? Well, the jury declared him guilty of manslaughter rather than murder. Right. So when he said that's the only murder he committed, it's not the only person he killed, though. No. It is just the only, technically the only murder he committed.

Yes, apparently he shot Simpson in self-defense. Right. And apparently Hine tried to claim the benefit of clergy, which is this peculiar old statute where anyone proving their ability to read by reading a passage from the Bible would have the death penalty downgraded to a branding on the thumb. Wow. Is that still on the books? Do people know about that?

I don't know if they do. Prince Andrew know about that? Don't tell people about that. So Hine did it, went to do it, but he singly failed to demonstrate even a basic level of literacy. That is... Really, really... Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Absolutely. That is a baller move to do that and not be able to read. Read it any bit from the book. by any bit, pick any bit. Fingers cross Jesus wept. Fingers cross Jesus wept. Yeah, I mean, that's a very difficult book to try and learn from. It's like trying to learn to ride a horse and a horse that doesn't know how to ride a horse.

Have you ever had those anxiety dreams when you've like, I've had them when I've been on stage and it's like I'm about to start, it's a Shakespeare play. Yes, I'm often doing a play and I don't know the words. Yeah. And do you ever have it where you've got? the first line so it's like, I'm setting the tone here for what's about to happen. Sorry, are you playing Ant or Deck in this? He did a Geordie accent. You're like, I'm setting the tone here. When you're nervous, do you sound like Anten Deck? Yes, yeah, maybe that's what happens. I've become Jordy. If only it had the other one with you, he could have given you a

feedline. Yeah. Now is the winter of our discontent. To be or not to be. That is the question. And then Gloucester's like, can he see? That is what happens in King Lear. Just making sure it happens both in King Lear and in Biker Grove, just to make sure everyone understood quite what a good reference that was. So is Jeff Lear?

It's Jeff Man Lear. And Spuggy's Cordelia? I don't even remember Spuggy. She was that, she made the ha-ha-ha. noise, didn't she? Is that where the ha-hat comes from? That's Spuggies laugh. Oh.

So he couldn't read. He couldn't just riff being able to read. But there was a remarkable quirk of timing that the judge had decided that he came within the terms of the recently past Act of Oblivion, which offered a general pardon for all crimes except high treason. And his life was sprained. They passed a law letting people off all crimes apart from high treason. I guess this is around just after the Civil War,

so it might have been a bit like... It's just live and let live. There's a bunch of people that did some terrible things, but we need to find a way to let them off. Right. Okay. Hmm. So they ultimately were like, all right, we're going to have to try him for high treason because that's the only thing we can get him on.

And he definitely did it because he was fighting on the king's side, trying to beat Holly Quartz. So he is ultimately sentenced to death in September 1652, and he was going to be publicly hanged, drawn and quartered. And he said, when he received his sentence, he declared to the court, Oh, this will be good. Gentlemen, I thank you. This is no more but what I ever expected.

No, no, no, no. I was hoping for more of her, this is democracy manifest kind of thing. I'm disappointed, I'll be honest. I think it was going to be hilarious. Enjoying a civil war Succulent English civil war I see enjoying a civil

Wait a minute I could do it My voice has got a bit high Is that a civil war said I see you know your judo well That's very good That's very good So but he's obviously made some inns

With the guards Because he's taken by cart To the gallows rather than being dragged He's allowed to speak to his family and he's given some final words and he said that he'd taken the oath of allegiance to be true to my king and prayed God to bless the king

and all that wish him well and he's hanged and this is going to sound maybe strange until I give it context but he's kindly hanged until he's dead rather than drawn and quartered yeah rather I think they did all the rest of it but as we know unfortunately

they used to do that when people were still a bit alive. Yeah, which is awful. Yeah. His head is put above the bridge gate on the River Seven and his limbs are put all around the city. Get your hands off my limbs! His torso was returned to his family for burial. Oh, nice.

I bet they're thrilled about it. I absolutely made up. But his head was stolen after less than a week. Yeah. So that's the end of James Hind. Well, a miss. A miserable end for a miserable fellow. I don't feel like...

I don't know that any of my melancholy has lifted, James. No? It's not purged. No, it hasn't. Oh. Well, would you like to hear about his ghost then? Yes, please. Right.

So his ghost returned to The Bell Inn in Chipping Norton. Alistair, don't look for that pub. It's not there anymore. No. But during the late 1990s, The landlady Irene saw a ghost in a long cloak, high boots, and wearing a tricorn hat with his face black or dark, very, very dark blue and a livid red scar around his neck from where he'd been hanged. Yeah. And Irene says she was in her sitting room after closing time when out of the corner of my eye I saw a tall black shape standing in the doorway.

He had one of them tricon hats and cloaks and boots. I could not see a face as it was all black. He was full-bodied, apart from the face. How did you know who it was? I don't know. It doesn't say. Okay. All right.

Come on, Eileen. Eh, eh. No. No. Maybe no. No. There was some other strange phenomena went on in the bell pub. During lunchtime, a row of decorative light bulbs went out one by one.

in quick succession. Glasses began to jump off the shelves. Keys and other small objects would mysteriously disappear and then reappear in unlikely places. A set of papers fell on the floor. Okay, so really stuff that can't be explained by natural means. Irene's daughter and son-in-law were woken at 3am by someone or something jumping onto the bed between them.

Yeah? Oh, yeah? Their seven-year-old son woke up one night. Wait, they have a small son? Yes. Okay, carry on. He woke up in the night when he was feeling unwell to discover an unknown woman sitting on the end of his bed.

Right, that was a dream. The figure assured him he would soon feel better. And there was no guest staying in the pub. No, because that was a child's dream. Okay. Well, this wasn't a dream. Okay, yeah, okay. Irene and the daughter went down to the bar very early one morning

and the chairs that they had left normally on the floor as chairs normally are were all balanced on top of tables. Great, that's good. And a pool queue had been carefully balanced between two animal skulls mounted on the wall above the fireplace. Okay, this seems like the work of a human prankster to me. And then it was a bit cold at that exact point.

There was like a cold. Breeze went through the bar. And they retreated to the kitchen and they glanced back through the glass door and they saw two glowing green eyes staring back at them from the room beyond. That's good. I like that. That's pretty scary, right? Yeah.

Then they call the vicar in and he brings his two assistants and they perform a blessing. And one of them had declared that the pub had been haunted by seven malevolent spirits but had now been cleansed. and Alistair Yes, James In the late 90s We're actually from the mid From earlier on than that

To the late 90s Do you know where I lived? No Next door to the Bell pub Yes Next door to that pub Wow Adraining walls to that pub

Did you ever see one of the seven Evil spirits? Genuinely When we were saying, I would sit in a sitting room and you would hear what sounded like very measured even footsteps going along the ceiling. Boom, boom, boom. When no one else was in the house. Not even a child dreaming.

You're probably like creak, creak, creak, creak, creak, creak. Yeah. Very good. Could have been the ghost of James Hind. Yeah, it could have been the ghost of a fellow James. Oh, one of the six others. one and six other ghosts. That thing with the green eyes

that was messing around with the chairs that time. Yeah, the green eyed prankster. I lost things. Some papers fell down. Yes, yeah, I believe that. Yeah, you didn't know it was ghosts. I didn't realize it would be a...

It could have been a ghost. So, yeah. Wow, that's really put exactly your human face on it, James. That is my human face. Hmm. So, are you ready to score the story of James Hind? Yes, please. Okay, then.

First category. Names. Well, okay. Did we have any good ones? James Hind is fine. Not any good ones. James Hind was fine. Mike White, making a welcome return.

Always. Hugh Peter. Willie Compton. Yeah, Winnie Long or Little Compton. General Regicide names. Yeah, none of them were particularly strong. Nothing funny. Nothing is leaping out on the name front.

Irene? Irene? I mean, it's a stretch to say that Irene is a funny name. Yeah, it is, isn't it? Yeah, nothing. There really wasn't any, I would say. Well, based on you saying that, I'm going to say that it's a one out of five. Yeah, because at least they had names.

They did have, oh, there were names. Names existed. They were just very standard. Okay, then. So, second category, supernatural, spooker natural. Spookernatural. Are you doing a new category? It's supernatural. It's supernatural. I just felt like I was on nickname terms now. Yeah, we have 300 episodes in. Yeah. Well, there was those footsteps you heard. That was quite spooker natural. Mm-hmm. The green eyes. I like those.

The green eyes. The thing jumping on the bed? That was their child, so no, obviously not a ghost. The ghost lady that said the child was going to get better. Obviously not a ghost. Clearly a dream. Clearly a dream. Someone putting the chairs on tables, not a ghost. That's just tidying.

Seeing a highwayman. Ghost, yes. So that's three of those are ghosts. So that's three out of five. Whoa, whoa. What about the cunning ladies sundial magic charm? Yes. Did he go back to her to get it recharged?

I don't think so because he got executed. Right. Yeah. Fair enough. Which proves that it worked. Well, he wasn't executed during the three years, probably. No, he wasn't, was he? Well, as far as we know, he could have been.

Well, okay, well, based on that, I suppose it's got to be four, but it feels more like a three. Yeah, but come on. This is the 300th episode. Live a little. Live a little. All right, it's a four. Okay. And I'm not happy.

My third category is melancholy and the infinite ladness. What a lad he was. Such a lad. Some epic ladness in this one. You've got some melancholic that wants purging. Just get absolute top lad, Jimmy Hines on the case. Have a pill of his. He will say a really cumbersome witticism and you'll feel better.

Yeah. And, and. sort of be back in the wrong horse as well with it all. Yeah. Well, I mean, the royalists did win in the end. I suppose so. But I think the Royal family, I don't know if you know, James, they did come back and are universally beloved.

They're doing all right? Never done anything wrong. No Royal subsequently has ever done anything bad. Shall I look it up? I wouldn't check. No. He didn't see it, though. He didn't see the King come back.

He didn't live to see the restoration. No. The restoration. He was, yeah, he was, he died with no Christmas or dancing and lots of pranks or whatever it was that we said when we did the Olly Cromwell episode. Yes, yeah. I think, yeah, he replaced fun with pranks. Yeah. Just like sort of British television did in the early 2000s. But that's fun, right? It's lad. It's lad. It's lad-y behaviour. That's going to purge your melancholy. It's ladish. Yeah, no, absolutely. Absolutely.

I'm on certain... I'm not sure how to score this because, of course, melancholy and the Infinite Sadness famously has a track called Zero. Oh, no. That's tempting. Ah, my lack of knowledge,

my lack of smashing pumpkin's knowledge. But that's only on the first disc, dawn to dusk on the second disc, there's 33 and 1979, which is way more than five. There's so many numbers. So, ah, but I think taking it as it is, the infinite ladness is an uncountable amount of ladness. If you got an infinite number of lads in a room with typewriters,

yeah. They would write lad by, but. Eventually, I would write a Bible, yes. Wow. Yeah, well, it's infinite ladness. And so it's an uncountable quantity of lads. So it's got to be a five. Or an eight on it.

So can I have an infinite, an eight on its side, just to really mess with the score, folk, have we been so grateful to? The infinite sign. Well, well, yeah, okay. Well, that would do something for my average. It would. I am not.

Well enough versed in mass to know what that's going to do to your average. But yeah, let's do it. Infinity. Out of five. Yes. Wonderful. But for the purposes of averaging five, if anyone is doing the averages, count that as a five.

All right then. Final category. Cruel to behind. Yeah, you got to be cruel to behind because he was quite cruel. I don't think this guy's a good guy at all. I know just at this point as well, point out what Mike White's chapter title was, because it's also quite good.

I want to give it his props, his flowers. It was devil take the hindmost. I was thinking we could do devil take the hindmost as a category. Very good. Very good. Now, give me, I heard someone say, use the phrase,

give them their flowers. Yes. In the context of a funeral. Oh. I think it means like at the end of a play, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

If you're giving someone that flowers at a funeral, you've waited too long. You just says like dad. And they know that they're your dad. Well, they don't, but they would have. Yes. Previously they knew. Who said that? How did they?

Yeah, I can't remember the context. I just remember hearing someone say something about giving someone their flowers at a funeral. So I don't think that's, I don't know. Well, like it was like a threat, like the black spot from Treasurer. or something. Yeah. It's not the thing. That's weddings where if you catch the bouquet.

They don't do that thing. If you're throwing... They wouldn't do that at a funeral. You shouldn't. No. If you are going up, storming the coffin and taking the dad or whatever it is written on it and hoying it back over your head, you're not creating a new... No.

A new tradition there. You're getting kicked out of a probably... a crematorium. Yeah, you're going to be asked to leave the service. The minimum. I'm glad that's not a tradition, though. Like, everyone just scatters. I suppose that'd be how you get rid of people,

but awake. Just, yeah, fling the flowers at them. Yeah. Anyway. No, he was a piece of work. He was a real piece of work. He was a real piece of work. Let me tell you.

There was that grumpy butcher, who was quite caught in the first place. Yeah. He seemed like the villain of the piece for a while until the other guy became a notorious high woman. Yes. And murder and manslaughterer.

Yeah. Yeah. I didn't approve of that. Mm-hmm. Yeah, you've got to be cruel to be hind. I don't really want to give you another five, but I can't see a way around it. Yes. He's ever so cruel.

Yeah. I guess when he comes down to it, the world is a vampire after all. Yes, some... He was shooting bullets with butterfly wings. Oh. Also another song. That's also another smashing popcorn song. You've said the two smashing pumpkin songs that I know.

We only come out at night. That could apply to High Women. Yeah. And by Starlight also. Yeah, probably. Are these also songs? Yeah, these are songs, James. I don't like them.

I didn't like smashing pumpkin. I didn't like him before it was cool. That's worse, isn't it? Say, I already didn't like someone before they prove themselves to be unlikable. So there you go. It was so local. Very local.

Your actual house. Basically my actual house, yeah, terrifying. Well, thank you very much. Listeners for listening. And thank you very much to you, Alistair. Thanks to Mike for, he slipped me those extra bits. about the spooky tales from the bell.

Cheers, Mike. Cheers Mike. Nice one, Mike. Nice one. There's a few little bonus extras where we play a little game. If you go to Patreon.com forward slash lawmenpod,

you will be able to get access to the stuff there and also access to the law folk Discord server where you can have to chat with like-minded law folk. Yeah. And then if you go to the bonus,

you can also hear the bit where I do the bridge from Smash. Pumpkins, The Everlasting Gaze. Are you going to? No, I'm embarrassed now. Oh, I don't know what it is. You're holding the everlasting gaze.

Whoa. It's really bad. Really not very nice. Well, it just happened, but I cut it out. Pop a line the bonus. Yeah. Well, thank you very much to everyone who already does support us in that way. And if you want to give us a celebratory review on wherever you get our podcast from,

that would be nice. Yeah, give us a real. We've got, how many reviews have we got? We could do with more, I think. Yeah. More reviews. I think so. We've done 300 episodes.

Come on. I mean, come on. Come on. Oh, come on. Oh, come on. Were you doing a deliberate bun there? No. Oh?

No.