Loremen Podcast - Loremen S7Ep14 - The Sleeping Frenchman

Episode Date: April 23, 2026

James hops in a time-travelling taxi to investigate the strange case of M. Chauffat, the Frenchman who put the snooze in “you snooze, you lose.” After being robbed of a small fortune, he fell asleep in a Soho hotel and didn’t wake up for 19 days, instantly becoming a media sensation. Then there’s the pea-throwing ghost of Peckham, the monkey who testified in court, and other London oddities torn from the pages of the Illustrated Police News, by way of Jan Bondeson’s book Strange Victoriana (2016). Come see us in Oxford! July 2nd 2026 (2026) Edited by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Laurence Hisee⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Join the LoreFolk at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/loremenpod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ko-fi.com/loremen⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Check the sweet, sweet merch here... ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.teepublic.com/stores/loremen-podcast?ref_id=24631⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ @loremenpod ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠youtube.com/loremenpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/loremenpod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.facebook.com/loremenpod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Local news is in decline across Canada, and this is bad news for all of us. With less local news, noise, rumors, and misinformation fill the void, and it gets harder to separate truth from fiction. That's why CBC News is putting more journalists in more places across Canada, reporting on the ground from where you live, telling the stories that matter to all of us, because local news is big news. Choose news, not noise.

CBC News. Welcome aboard via rail. Please sit and enjoy. Please sit and stretch. Steep. Flip. Or that. And enjoy. Via rail, love the way. Welcome to Lawmen, a podcast about local legends and obscure curiosities from Days of York. With me, Alistair Beckett King. And me, James Shakeshaft. James, are you ready for some tales of strange vitur? Toriana. Oh, yes, please. I got a ghost in Peckham, and I've got the sleeping Frenchman of Soho. Ooh, la, la.

Alistair, I have a confession. You've got your grovelling voice on, James. What's happened? Well... I don't think Cantra's been on the podcast recently, so what can possibly have gone wrong? Well, listeners who got the later in the day download of the recent episode of the Gilford Gould will be aware that I made an error in that. I looked at when I was big in up William Cobbitt.

Yeah, Billy Cobbs. Billy Cobbs saying that you would like him because he did stuff for the poor and he opposed, what's the fencing thing as in actual fences? Oh, enclosures. Yeah, he was against the enclosure act. And I was like, oh, I've given a cursory. you look at his Wikipedia page, had a slightly closer look at his Wikipedia page, and he's a rotten guy. He opposed the abolishing of the slave trade. Oh, right, that. Yeah. So I'm sorry,

I led you down a path of say, very much cherry-picking something about someone, and then it turns out there also had some terrible, terrible ideas. I'm glad we're clarified, because I come up looking really bad for saying how great he sounded. I did do a little funny joke in there, implying that you were off to get a William Cobb's tattoo, and I texted you to stop you, but I was too late. But yeah, turns out a lot of people from the past, especially the white guys, were rotten.

Good thing it's not like that now. Thank, blooming goodness. I'm not even going to jokingly reference someone who either is or isn't a bigot in case they either turn out to be a bigger or... Best to play on the safe side, yes. Because there's too many of the people around. Any road, sorry about that. So I misled you.

People who got the later in the day would have got a bonus joke of me groveling. Yeah, bonus grovelling. Lovely. So sorry about that to anyone who didn't get the latter version. Should we do the other episode? Should we do a new one? Yeah. Yeah, let's do a new episode.

episode. We can't all be grovelling, can it, this one? I hope not. This is a grovelling ghoul. Well, James, as you well know, I am just a normal guy who has a birthday every year. Absolutely. And it happened fairly recently at the time of recording. I think it's documented on your Wikipedia page. Yeah, it is. It used to be wrong. No, it's right. Nah. Nah. What if a casting agent looks at that? And I can know, I don't get cast to play like a teenager in an American... Oh, does it I think it does. It has my age. They'll be like, he's too old to play a guy in the Save by the Bell reboot. But true listeners will know that that age is out by at least 200 years. Yeah, that's true. Due to the time traveling vampism.

One of the gifts I received for that birthday was the book Strange Victoriana by Jan Bonderson. Jan Bonderson. Yes, by pal of the show, by which I mean we've mentioned his books on it, not that he likes us or endorses us in any way, Jan Bonderson. Are they still alive? I believe Bonderson is still bonding about. Still bonding? Yeah, yeah. This book is from 2016 originally.

A strong bond. So it's pretty recent. Can I instantly derail with a tale of crime in Manchester? Certainly. So if anyone was in Manchester in the early 2000s and happened to see some graffito that said a strong bond around the Fallafield area. I know who did that.

What? It was two friends of my... James, you've got to come forward. No, it's too late. I think the statue of limitations. The statue of limitations, yeah, it's crumbled. Yeah, has been kicked into Bristol dock. It was two friends of mine, and they went out together.

They sort of, I think it was a situation where they kind of knew each other through other people, and they hadn't really been out just the pair of them. And they went out just the pair of them. And they formed the strong bond. And they also imbibed a lot of alcohol and decided to commemorate that bond by graffiti. They did some graffiti to commemorate their friendship. Yes.

Oh, that's beautiful. You know how graffiti, on the whole, graffiti in the women's toilets, is a lot nicer than the graffiti in the men's toilets. Yeah, it was basically that. So was it two women? Yes. I see that's, this is the thing. This is why we have a male loneliness crisis.

We need the men to be doing graffiti as a testament to their new friendships. And I think they put their names on it. I'm not repeating their names, but it was like, I'm going to say, Jane and Mary, a strong bond. But using their actual names, their names weren't Jane or Mary. I appreciate you choosing some vintage names, Jane and Mary. And then the next day they sort of realized what they... But they woke up with a hangover and a shameover from realizing what they'd done and that it was bad. And then they went around and tried to paint it out. You can't.

The bond's too strong. Yeah, I think it was. But they just left like a trail to where they lived. Because they'd done it on the way home from the pub. But if anyone remembers that graffiti, which I presume is the plural of graffetes. I think graffiti is the plural and graffito is the singular. Oh, really? I think so.

Oh, darn it. If anyone's seen those... You're in a pinini situation. Yeah, I am. Classic. If anyone saw those graffitos, then I've laughed about that many, many times, and I hope that softens the blow of being outraged by graffiti. It certainly has for me.

Good. And in fact, that story of drunken excess is very relevant to the tale I'm going to tell you, James. You couldn't have set it up better. Oh, wow. But first, I'll tell you a bit more about Jan Bonderson's book. It's basically a collection of the weirdest stories from the disreputable 19th century tabloid, The Illustrated Police News.

Oh. Now, you'll be familiar with the Illustrated London News. I talk about it all the time. Yes. That was a much more reputable, a much more sophisticated tabloid. Is this like those murder mystery magazines? True crime masks. It's very much in that area.

It's in the, it's sort of, Penny Dreadful Adjacent. It is news, mostly. It's things that have actually happened, but it's a lot of lurid murders. It ran from 1864 to 1939, but this is how bad it was. It was banned in the Irish Free State by the Committee on Evil Literature. Oosh. Yeah. I'm also just realizing that's the precursor to modern true crime podcast, isn't it? I suppose it is. It just doesn't have like a millennial white couple going like, Hey! On the front cover, it normally just has a corpse.

Yeah, what's the font for vocal fry? Well, when you see the font in this newspaper, I think you'll know. Ah. Because, of course, these days, listeners might be confused. These days, British tabloids have a reputation for sort of broad-minded inquiry and tolerance. But back in the 19th century, they were quite sensationalist and bigoted. What? Yeah.

Hard to imagine. Hard to imagine. The kind of stories you might run across, and this is just from leafing through the book, include The Tooting Horror, an old man defended by rats. In a court case? No.

Was there like a bunch of them in their jacket and a wig? Once again, you're ahead of me. The next story is, a monkey's convincing evidence in a murder case. And it's like it's jaccusing him. The monkey is sort of leaping towards it. Like, do you see that person in this courtroom? And the monkey's like,

meh, weh, wah. Translate is, I have nothing but contempt for this court. Brace yourself, James. In the same section, a dog is a witness. Everyone loves that bear. It's a large dog. And what I love about the picture of the dog is the dog is approaching the bench.

Every bench. Right, right from the record. But can you believe the caption for this picture of a dog approaching the bench and talking to the judge is not a dog as dog is my witness? Outrageous. Outrageous missed opportunity. Repraction. So that's the book I picked up. Oh, but James, what's that over there?

It looks like some kind of handsome cab, some kind of time-traveling cab, half car, half horse and cart. Has pulled up. It's very handsome. Oh. I tell you what, I think the cabby is beckoning you. Why don't you go over there and I'll just stay here? Okay. If they made a tie machine, why don't do it with a handsome cab?

Oi, over here. You're all at James Shakeshaf, ain't you? Uh, yeah. From the Lawmen podcast, from the Loraymen podcast. It's Lawmen. It's just called Lawmen. Lawmen? Yeah.

No, not the. Technically, it is another. Right, hop in. Get in the back. All right. Where to, mate? What? Say Greek Street, Soho.

Greek Street, Soho, and don't spare the horses. Right, all right. Here we go. It's going to be an hour. There is horse noises. Here, here, I know you want to hear a story from Soho, but you'll never guess who I had in a back of my cab recently. Only, have a guess then.

Weirdly, first thing that comes to mind is Stephen Hawking. No idea why. Incorrect. Amazingly. It's not, why are you staying in the Stevens? I don't know. I'm on a Stephen tier. I didn't say it was a Stephen.

No. It's only the blooming, the pea-throwing ghost of Peckham. What? Yeah. So before you have your main story, would you like a little abuse moose? I think it's a muse,

which is very much the opposite of abusing a moose. Well, either way. Abused goose. of the river. The abuser goose. Let's amuse a goose. Let's amuse a goose in Peckham. Let's make a little pit stop in Peckham, December, 1872.

Okay. Oh, James, James, here you are. I've been waiting for you for ages. As a time-travelling vampire, I was here already. Get out of the... Stop talking to that completely, completely rounded character of the cabby. See you, cabby. Oh, I see it.

I'll meet us running, but I'll wait for you. I'll just give you a bow when I need. to go back on... No, no, no, no, no, there's no trouble, it's no trouble. Okay. James, here we are in Peckham. It's 1872. Yes.

And again, again, of course, these days, Peckham is a peaceful place, but in the 19th century, it was very much a dangerous place to be at night because of a spate of ghost attacks. Oh, no. And I will say these stories do make me wonder what people in the 19th century thought ghosts were. Oh, right. Because in 1871 and 1872, there were spates of ghosts breaking windows. And I don't know, it's not normally something you'd blame on a ghost.

No, kids. Kids with balls. This will shock you. But yeah, one of the attacks was traced back to a small girl. And the other was traced to a foreigner with a catapult. So the people of Peckham in 1872 were primed for ghostly goings-on, which is when the, what Bonderson calls the jumping ghost of Peckham, but I have called the pea-throwing ghost of Peckham struck.

Right. On October the same year, there were several sightings of a figure dressed in white who prowled the Peckham lanes frightening women by making spooky noises or grabbing them from behind, which I think that goes beyond a ghostly creepy to just regular creepy.

Yeah, that's just a creep. That's just grabbing women. That's not ghost activity. Quite a few people saw the ghost, which was described as very tall, between six and eight feet, depending on the witness's level of intoxication, and with a most forbidding countenance,

a little bit of bondous and humour there. Nice one bond, a strong bond. Some accredited the ghost with horns. Others were certain it had luminous breath, yet others believed it had boots fitted with springs enabling it to leap like spring heel jack. Like spring heel jack. The ghost screamed and gibbered in a weird, penetrating voice.

What would that have sounded like, James? James, you're frightening the women. Sorry women. Sorry women. Let's just make that the catchphrase. for the show. Sorry women. Sorry women.

It ran at near superhuman speed. In early November, the two daughters of Dr. Carver, headmaster of Dulwich College, were so badly frightened by the ghost that several days later the youngest had not fully recovered. Whoa.

And I have got a picture of this terrifying specter for you. Oh, wow. It looks like a werewolf. It looks kind of like a guy wearing a white onesie. Yes. With a beard and horns.

I've seen pictures of people dressed. up at Easter from not long after that time. Yeah. And yeah, similar vibes. I really think that a lot of these ghosts are a guy dressing up and going around being weird at night and not a conventional ghost. Something to do, isn't it?

Obviously, people weren't happy? An anti-Ghost fund was quickly established. No, good. The AGF. And locals burned an effigy of the ghost. Good, I suppose. Yep, that should get it sorted, the effigy burning. Give it a warning.

Yeah. Vigilantes were patrolling the streets and eventually they came across a man named Joseph Monday who was caught green-handed as twer because he was caught throwing peas at the shutter of a shop. Oh, Joe! Now, Bonderson says the ghost was supposed to have thrown peas, but, I mean, nobody mentioned any pee throwing until this guy was caught. I just read you his description of the ghost and it doesn't mention peas at all. No, not tall. And then they caught a guy who's a bit weird throwing some peas and they were like, that's the ghost. Classic ghost behavior. Individual pee or motorpe? No, he had loads of peas.

He was arrested and found to have loads of peas in his pockets. Pocket for the peas. That was supporting evidence that he was the ghost. But it's like, nobody denied that he had peas. Obviously he had, he was throwing peas. Obviously he had peas. The question is, does the ghost have peas? So he wasn't really dressed like the ghost.

He was wearing a big curly wig. and a white slop under a black cloak. What's a white slop? As far as I can tell, slop in general refers to cheap, ill-fitting, not made for you, not tailored clothes,

like off the peg, badly made clothes. Wow, that's what everyone wears nowadays. Yeah, what everyone wears these days. Yikes. But perhaps pantaloons,

specifically, like naval trousers. But either way, he wasn't dressed all in white. He did wear a big curly, I mean, clearly an odd ball. clearly a troubled gentleman.

He's chucking peas at a shop. He's a pea chucker. That marks him out as different from the norm. Exactly. But perhaps he deserves our sort of sympathy and understanding. Well, wait a minute. What type of peas were they? Marrow fat.

You could take someone's eye out. Yee, ye, ye. Petty boys. Let's hope they were petty, petty, petty poise. Petty boys. And I have to say, James, did you ever watch Follander, or Wallander to you perhaps? Is that, no. The Swedish crime drama.

No, I did not. Right, okay. But I did like your sketch. Thank you. Thank you for, thank you for liking and sharing and subscribing. All right, well, in that case, I'm going to have to sing the theme tune to the final series of Follander for you. Which I can't really do. It's sung by Anna Brun and performed by the Flesh Quartet, which is a disgusting name for a musical group.

Is, what? Was Wallander about a detective investigating people throwing peas? All right, I can't really sing as the listener knows, but I'm going to try to sing the second line of the theme song, which is really, the final series is really good. It's very sad. I love it. But it goes, okay, okay. The light will appear like an animal between the trees, so you'll find your pocket of peas. So the line, of course, is the light will appear like an animal between the trees. there you'll find your pocket of peace. But peace doesn't rhyme with trees. And in her accent, I guess she's Scandinavian in some way.

I think she's the frog. I'm not saying that's 100% accurate impression of her voice. But she really says, there you'll find your pockets of peas. That's it. But for Joseph Monday, for Joey Pockets, the peas were not a source of piece. They were the evidence that convicted him.

He got six months in prison. Nobody to go his bail. Yeah. And only 10 days after they took him away, the ghost struck again and appeared to a cart driver named James Sanson. So I think they might have got the wrong ghost. Yeah. Sounds like it.

Joey P's innocent, perhaps. A miscarriage of justice. Definitely. Oh, James, look. It's that cab come to pick you up again, which is still there. Speaking of miscarriages of justice. Oh, yeah. Yeah, speaking of miscarriages, very good.

Very good, James, because it is a carriage of sorts, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It is a carriage of sorts. It's like when I explained, we had a foreign house guest, and we were talking about roads or something, and I just realized that dual carriageway is such a weirdly old-fashioned way of talking about a road. Anyway.

A bit like horsepower, still measuring things in horsepower. Yes. Oh, oy, Mr. Shikeshaft. Hello. Are you getting in? Or what? We're crossing Waterloo Bridge and travelling 15 years into the future, i.

e. with the past. Is the meat still running? Yeah, mate is still running. I've just stopped on Waterloo Bridge Street's playing this. For 15 years. Here we are. 36 Greek Street Solo.

March 1887. Nice. Do you want a receipt? Yes. I think I'll tell you what, I'll slip you a few blank receipts so you can claim for a few more journeys. For the time traveling taxi journeys.

Yeah. For the time traveling. taxi, well done. Be lucky. James, hey, I've been waiting for you here on the corner of Greek Street for 15 years. I was on Waterloo Bridge for 15 years. You did take quite a long. It can be like that, though.

I've been stuck there on the bus. Oh, traffic. So, James, you and I are on Greek Street in Soho, which you and I have probably been on in real life together. Yes, I think so. But now it's the 19th century, and we are standing outside the Hodeau. Frenches, Hotel Francaise. Hotel Francaise.

On Greek Street, which is no longer there, although Greek street is. And at this time, the Hotel Francaise is home to one very inconvenient guest, The Sleeping Frenchman.

Bonderson calls him the sleeping Frenchman of Soho. He was a one-armed wine merchant from Ote Savoy in France. He was in very unusual circumstances,

overtaken by a trance in the words of a letter printed in science on the 22nd of April 1887. His name was Monsieur Chouffat. I'm not quite sure how to pronounce it. It's quite an unusual French name, C-H-A-U-F-A-T, Schofarer, I assume. I can't help but point out that that is a spoonerism for foesha or fake cat. Oh, you think it could be a fake cat? It depends on whether people actually do encode clues into their fake names.

Oh, what, like conspiracy theory people in America. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Would you, if you were doing conspiracy theory, would you do like an anagram? Or would you just come up with the name that wasn't an anagram of your evil plan? Lou E. Cipher. Yeah. So don't be distracted by his spoonerism because he was no cat.

If he were an animal, he would be, as Bonderson writes, a party animal. Oh. Yeah. So, right. Speaking of exchange trips, Yes. Did you ever have French exchange students over? We had to German exchange.

Oh, well, that's going to be a different experience. But we did go to France. How did you behave when you were in France? I remember we got served fish with a spine in and everyone was really taken aback that the fish had a big spine in it. We didn't like the food, mostly. Well, you know, the French have a reputation

for serving inedible. Slop, don't they? Well, I guess it was for English kids. They were like, wow, whatever. Just give them my bones. Just give them this pile of fish bones. Yeah, certainly English kids. Well, we had, I remember we had a French exchange student,

and I seem to recall, I'm not sure this is accurate, I think one got his willy out and kicked the head off of a flower in someone's front garden. Same news. Not necessarily at the same time. No, he used his leg. Oh, good. I don't think it was at the same time. But basically, they could do that.

You would probably worry. to show it off. Yeah, you'd need people to know before you left the country. Mm-hmm. But basically, you know, I think there's a thing when you're, when you're on holiday, people behave a little bit badly because it can't get back to, you know. It's like when people go, English people going on stagdos in Europe. Yes.

This guy was very much the French antidote to that or counterpart to that. Right. Massive, massive party animal. So he went out partying with a couple of guys. He left his lodgings at the Hotel Francaise. went to a club in Rathbone Place and then he went to the Hotel de Paris presumably because he didn't speak English.

I don't know how you can be a wine merchant who comes to London for work and doesn't speak English. I guess he was selling to the French people who ran the many French institutions like that. That's true. Well, you just point at the bottle and then as long as it's under 10,

you can do it with your hands or 11 if there's that French exchange student. But he's trying to say, I can only assume he's like the British expats. Open a Red Lion pub. Yeah, he only wanted to go to the French-themed pubs. And then whenever he has to speak, I guess he just speaks French very slowly and patronising. Voulaye-vous, achate my van. Excuse me, garson.

Van Rouge. So it was very, yeah, so he went out partying, Lance, Lance, Lance. lads. Garson, garson, gasson. Gasson. Where? Where? Where? Got very, very drunk. He lost his two pals, but he made the acquaintance of two women who Jan Bonderson calls ladies in inverted commas, which I think means that he's implying there may have been sex workers. Okay. I think they definitely were women. And he was heading to their place in a cab. They were going to a house on Tottenham Court Road. Now, he clearly didn't know London because I don't know how dangerous so old.

was at this time, but Tottenhamcote Road is so near to Greek Street. I don't think you'd get a cab there. It's seven minutes away. Thirty-six Greek Street, I think, is like, yeah, it's just on Shaftree Avenue. He's right there. He's right there. I mean, okay, Tottenham Court Road is long, but at most it's like a 20-minute walk to the far end of Tottenham Court Road, so very weird to get a cab. But I guess he was in a hurry to get back to these ladies' lodgings. He needn't have been James. It went very badly for him. Shortly after entering the house, possibly of ill repute, we don't know. He was back on the street, having been robbed of £32 and a gold watch.

Ooh, that's a lot of money. I was shocked. It's £3,600. It's over £3,600 in today pounds. Why would you take that much on a night out? Well, I guess where's he going to leave it? He's come over from France to do his wine dealings. Yes.

He sold all his wine. And then where are you going to put it? the hotel safe? Oh, I don't know if 36th Street would have that good a safe. Maybe not. I'd be in two minds. Yeah, I suppose. The hotel is referred to as a cafe in other accounts.

So I think it might have just been a, you know, a small place that had lodgings above the, you know, not a big hotel. Yeah, all right. Well, you shouldn't have got really, okay, I don't want a victim blame, but he shouldn't have got extremely drunk. Yeah, that doesn't help. So he's confused. He's disorientated. He doesn't speak English.

And he doesn't know where he is. And he stumbles out into the street. He begs the cab driver who brought him here for help. A de moi. A de moi. A day, moi. Ede. He de.

Mois. Juesue de Mue. Dessoulet. Desole. Jermal al A tete. Who a deiscotech? Ha, ha. So he's in big trouble because, but this cabby,

It was nothing like the garrulous and handsome, Salt of the Earth Giza, who brought you here, James. Yeah. He just grimaced at the man and drove off, no doubt, a compatriot in the two ladies scheme. Why compatriot? I think it just got annoyed at confute. I mean, he might just have been annoyed by the Frenchman, loudly speaking French very slowly. But the general conclusion is that he was well aware of the scam that was going on. Luckily, a kindly woman found Chauphard wandering in a days,

and she brought him back to the Hotel, Frances. He didn't say anything. He was perhaps too embarrassed. He just went to bed and went to sleep. Good. And slept and slept and slept. Three days later, he was still asleep. What?

He made the newspapers. I think it was a quiet week. Wow. Yeah, there was a lot of interest around this guy who had just kept sleeping. It's been drugged? Well, no, apparently not. He wasn't drugged.

He was no longer drunk, but he was still sleeping. Mr. Bougier, the Oedelia, was starting to get a little bit itchy because he couldn't be woken up and he hadn't paid his bill. And presumably, you know, housekeeping wanted to get in. Yeah, where is he doing a wee? Hmm, great question. Yeah. A great question that I don't have the answer to. Okay, okay.

It does dehydrate you. It is dehydrating, but it doesn't mean that you don't need a wee-wee-wee. drinking a load of booze. Well, that's kind of how it dehydrates you. He was probably just drinking like small glasses of really expensive, sophisticated stuff that gets you smashed. He probably wasn't drinking big pints, was he?

Absolutely not. Petty beer, beer. Yeah, no, no, no, no, you wouldn't have that. Van de Tardbler. So Dr. Jean Kese was called in from the French Hospital. which was based in Victoria Park in East London. Oh, yeah. The building's still there. It's very pretty, but it's not a French hospital anymore.

And according to Bonderson, Dr. Kayser found his patient in a state of deep lethargy. And it was impossible to rouse him by shouts, pinches, or shining a strong light into his eyes. To the French be, thethagy. That's very good. Schofar had lost one of his arms in active service in the Franco-Prussian War,

but otherwise his physical health seemed quite good. He did not appear drunk or drugged. That was your first question, Jones. The inner pocket of his coat contained a card stating he was under treatment at the famous Salpetriere Hospital in Paris for a dangerous form of catalypsy. Catalypsy? Yeah. Wait a minute. He ain't a cat. He's a catalyptic. Does that just mean that you sleep like a cat? Yeah, sort of with your nose touching your tail. Yeah, was he all curled up? Yeah, really adorable. If he was found in a state of nervous collapse or profound sleep,

should immediately be returned to that hospital under the care of Dr. Jean-Marie Jacquesot. The problem is that hospital is in France. Yeah. Who's going to pay for this, James? How are they going to get him on the ferry? He don't make any money for lying motionless, although he was getting excellent exposure. He became a minor celebrity. There was non-stop newspaper coverage, daily reports of updates, which nothing was happening, really.

Yeah. Was he on talk shows? Yeah, they were just wheeled him out. And they were like, oh, there he is, the sleeping Frenchman. Do the line. And the line was muttering very quietly about being robbed. That's what that's what he would say. Crowd goes wild.

More doctors came, Sir William McCormack, Brudanel Carter, and your favourite and mine, Dr. Beaver. Oh, Doc, Doc, Doc, Doc, Dr. Beaver. I imagine, is he a beaver? I'm picturing. It's spelled B. B-E-V-O-R, Dr. B-V-V-O-R. Oh, Dr. Beauvoir. No, B-E-E-E-V-O-R, B-V-V-A.

B-V-R. B-V-R. My hope is his catchphrase is, I'm a doctor, damn it. Hey, yes, me too. That's very nice. So they investigated, and according to the letter I mentioned in science, science. The most extraordinary feature of the case is the remarkable results obtained by gently strove

so far's arm. The limb, if raised upright, remains in that position indefinitely. The blood is forced from the extremity, the hand, and forearm turns slowly round to the right till the strain is so great that the muscles stand out rigid. The limb being perfectly rigid. On the other hand, well, now that, I think that means

on the other hand, not his other hand. Yes, he didn't have one, no. On the other hand, the most gentle touch or stroking of the flexor of the forearm is sufficient to relax the whole. So you could lift his hand open and then just give it a little tickle and it would flop back down. Oh.

Did you ever watch WWF wrestling? Not regularly, not faithfully. Because that would be a thing, like if someone had been taken down by a sleeperhold, the referee would need to ascertain whether they were unconscious and therefore stop the bout. So they'd lift the hand up and let it drop.

And they'd do it three times to kind of test. They'd lift it, drop it. Ultimate Warriors get as I'm lifted and dropped. Lifted and dropped. And then the third one, one. It stops and then he makes a fist. Is this what happened here with this guy? Pretty much, yeah. Well, I mean, it does say, without doubt, Schofar's case is one of the most remarkable of the kind that has occurred in England. So, I mean, I assume if he made a fist

and then sort of left back up, went under the little Shays-long he was sleeping on, got a steel chair. Yeah, bang. And then maybe hit one of the judges. Got to boo. Yeah, one of the doctor. Bang. Oh, now the beaver. He's thrown a beaver into the crowd. Sort of like Jake the snake, but with a beaver in a doctor's outfit. There were various attempts to wake him. After a week in bed, the Frenchman was getting seriously hungry,

and he drank bouillon and brandy with avidity. Even being able to masticate some bread. A frolicsome young doctor suggested that the itching powder should be applied. Oh, your cheeky doctor. Stop being so frolicsome, you young doctors. Imagine him sort of skipping around the room. Oh, we should use skisking. You always want to use itching powder, Dr. Itchy powder.

Stand over that with Dr. Beaver, Dr. Itchy. He also suggested some noxious substance should be mixed with the patient's soup, but Dr. Kayser did not allow such indignities to his famous patient. Did he also suggest? Did he? Overe les year. Did the other doctor suggest that he sniff the flour on his lapel? or use this soap and don't turn it over to have a look at the other side.

I know, it's Patch Adams. That's the worst thing that could have happened. Yeah, it's the last thing he would have wanted. When Ovre Lesieux was shouted into the Frenchman's ear, his eyelids twitched. Tricked him with French. Yeah. Generous Londoners donated to the Shofar Relief Fund.

It seems very easy to get people to donate to funds around this sort of two decades. period. Yeah. But they did manage to raise enough money to pay his bills and and getting back to France. And after 19 days of sleeping, including the time when he was eating things, he woke up. Whoa. But he ate and drank in his sleep. He did eat and drank in his sleep, yes. When the musician, Mr. Boischer, Boischet, basically only French people try and help him. When Mr. Boishe of the hippodrome played the Marseillaise on the oboe to cheer up his soporific countryman, Mr. Schofar professed not to recognise the tune and seemed anything but pleased with the performance. But on the 16th of April, the sleeping Frenchman of Soho was

finally out of bed after his 19-day slumber. He finished his morning toilet, wrote some letters, and read about himself in the French newspapers with great interest. I bet that was a big toilet. Yeah, stand back, beaver. That's not your kind of log. So, yeah, that was the story of the sleeping Frenchman. Wow. Illustrated London News on the 14th of May ran a feature called a century ago, talking about things that had happened 100 years before this. And they noted that the same thing had happened 100 years earlier.

What? We have heard much lately of Mr. Schofar, the sleeping man. And I am pleased to find that Switzerland has not the monopoly of such lethargic people, but that England has been in a position to compete with the continent in their production. and that long before Monsieur Choufah had been in existence. For in the world of May 25, 1787, we read that about three weeks ago at Rosgal in the county of Donegal in Ireland, a young woman of the name of Francis McBride after a night's dancing

fell into a kind of trance or lethargy, in which she continued for ten days. On the 11th she waked as if from a sound sleep, yawned two or three times and expired. That's not the same at all, she died. No, yeah. That's just someone dying over a period of ten days. Yeah.

Still, the dangers of partying underlined there. Good point. This is like a public information film. Partying, not even once. Fun, just say no. Non, if you're French. Nantes. I'm not sure about that piece because, first of all, it implies that Schofard is Swiss,

whereas as far as I can tell you, everything else says he was French. And it also implies Donigall is in England, but Donigall Island is part of England. Yeah, that ain't right. But for some reason, there was the idea that this used to happen loads in France. and on the continent, but it didn't happen very much here. I think that's a little bit of anti-French sentiment. Maybe, maybe it is.

So, yeah, that's the story of the sleeping Frenchman, who might have been Swiss and the jumping ghost, who might just have been a guy with a lot of peas. With some peas. Footnote, Chauphard came back to London in 1888 and did it again. What? Yeah, he fell asleep, but not for as long, because everyone was like, heard it.

But he didn't get any coverage that time, and he woke up after just a few days. I think he was definitely faking the second. one just to see. I think so. I think so. The difficult second sleep. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

He's just playing the hits at this point. Yeah, he needed to innovate. Oh, but what's that? Hong Kong. Hong Kong. James, your cab's here. Just in time for scoring, quick. Get in it for scoring?

Get in it for scoring. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The cab is going to do scores. Bye. Bye. Okay, bye. Hello there, Mr. Shakespeare. In your gift.

In your get. Don't sit in the front. Don't sit in the front. I've got my bags of stuff there I've got a couple of Tesco bags there Yes, sorry, I'll get And the seat's really far forward It's really far forward

But you'll enjoy that leg room when you're in the back That's a good point Mr Cab driver Yep, I haven't got a name My name is Ian Taxi Sorry Mr Ian Taxi I'm a rounded character

You are Thank you Right so The scores As I drive you back to the press present day, 2026. Yeah, 236. Yep, 226.

Well, all right, we might as well get supernatural out the way with our little bit of taxi banter we're having to make the journey go faster. What do you rate this one for supernatural? I mean, even the ghosts in the ghosty bit weren't really very ghostly. They were just bloats, weren't it? It was just blokes and sheets. Literally blinks and cheats. They were just, they were just,

Creepy sheep, but blokes. Sloppy creeps. Yeah. So I'm going to say, there's one because someone thought it was a ghost. Yeah. All right. Yeah, reasonable. Very reasonable.

No, jury in the land. Good. So that's a one for supernatural. Next category. Names. Now then. There's a lot of French names. Loves of French names.

And potentially some, like, punning French names. If that guy was really a sleepy cat. If he really was a fake cat. Yeah, yeah. Or a beaver, if that doctor really was a beaver. Dr. Beaver, yeah. May I remind you of the names of the different stories. A monkey's convincing evidence in a murder case.

An old man defended by a rat. As dog is my witness. It's not what it was called. No, but it should have been. And for that, I'm going to give it a four. A four? Definitely. Four.

You've got to remember to try and get two syllables into a four. Four. Four. Four. Four. Four. Fantastic. Oh, we're blazing ahead.

We're making very good time. Good. Next category is bit of a character. Right, yes. Yeah, because he was a bit of a character. And also Jimmy Pockets, whatever he was called, he was a bit of a character. A bit of a character.

And I myself, this original creation, Ian Taxi, am also a bit of a very well-rounded character drawn from life. Yeah, I was going to say, you don't seem like a character. No, exactly. an actual real person. I'm just a fully four-dimensional human. Yeah. Time being the fourth dimension.

I'm a time-traveling taxi driver, so that makes sense. Not because you're going to spit in my face. Oh, sorry, I forgot to laugh in the character. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We've got some right characters here. Right characters.

I think it's, I mean, it's a one, it's a bit one-note old sleepy, Pete, but he did commit to the bit. He really committed to the bit. Five for a bit of a character. Yes. Yeah. I also, I love the way he didn't speak English, but he insisted on absolutely getting

smashed. That's, I mean, fair enough. When in Rome. When in Rome, yeah. Or London in this case. Coming over here, drinking our booze, sleeping in our beds. I'm surprised you're not more annoyed about him. rounded Ian taxi.

Oh yeah, yeah, good point, actually, actually, yeah. Right, final, final category, stop deconstructing my character. Apologies. Final category. Rest in peace, sorry, and I said it again. Final category, rest in peas. Oh. More like taking the peas.

All sorts of lovely stuff there going on. Yeah, that's two, really. That's two of cut and shut. You've cut and shut because the first. story, you got the peas. I got a mate, he does it. That guy, he'll... Yeah?

Yeah, he'll take two categories and just, in front of one category, back of another. That's just different horses in this time period, right? Anyway... Yeah, we must have just driven past that Alistairkeet King laughing. Just heard him laughing through the window. He does that. It stands on the street and laughs just in case a handsome cab passes by... Another character.

Right. Rest in peas. Because he did rest, didn't he? And the other guy got sent down for having pockets full of peas. More like taking the peas because he won't even a ghost. And presumably someone would have had to, for the Frenchman, because there's no way you can be... Someone must have been fred.

...for 19 days without his widow out of the room. You're absolutely right. I think that is also a five out of five. You won't be such a frolics and doctor when you finish this one. Yeah. You can do the bedpan this time. Don't use it to refill your squirty flour. Dr. Frolics.

You are almost croak. Get out of here, frolicsome doctor. Yeah, so definitely five. Five p. Oh, brilliant, brilliant. Shiny 5p. I'll tip you actually as a taxi driver. Anywhere in this year decade is fine.

All right, I'll just drop you off in the late 90s. Whoa, cool. Uh-oh. Hey, James, it's me, Alistair. I'm a teenager. In the late 90s. Yeah. Alistair.

Yeah, I'm just popping a kickflip on this Oli. You should invest in that wizard's hat. It will give you a good few minutes stand up in the future. Thank you. Thank you, future me. Do I get taller and sort of quite a lot of basier? I know future you. Oh, I can't tell you what happens to you.

But yeah, invest in that wizard's hat. Okay, thank you. And smashing pumpkins. Maybe don't get too attached to Billy Corgan. I don't think he'd ever disappoint me, Billy Corgan. Because James, the more you change, the less you feel. I don't, you don't know this, but I don't know that much about smashing pumpkins and I've told you before.

Also, I'm not sure how I know you're called James based in a situation. I look like a James, really, in the 90s. Most people were called James in the 90s in my experience. Were they? Are they all David's down Elway? What? They are currently all

David's down hour away. Loads of Davids and Stevens. Fry, hawking. Mulhern? Is he any other one I could have thought of? Yeah, yep, he's also Stephen.

I've been watching a lot of catchphrase. Well, thank you very much for that, Alistair. There probably will be some little bit of outtakes and off cuts from that, which will end up in a bonus episode which you can access by joining us as Patreon.

It'll just be me breaking character from Ian Taxi. That's right. It was me. I played Ian Taxi. You were Ian Taxi all along? I was Ian Taxi, yeah. That's why on the beach

there was only one set of footprints. Only one set of handsome cart prints. Thank you very much to launch for editing this. Cheers, Loza. Thanks to you, the listener. Please leave us a nice review somewhere or a comment.

The ding. I think someone made that reference about a clip as well on YouTube the other day, said it was basically a ginger Jesus talking to Richard Iowadi. I'd watch that. Yeah, me too.