Loremen Podcast - Loremen S7Ep30 - Snow in Summer

Episode Date: August 20, 2026

It's been a cruel summer and James is ready to chill out with a meteorological mystery from Cumberland. Things are getting snowy in Sausage County! Plus, the boys take in some saintly origin stories and enjoy a "cameo" from "Nicolas Cage". Get tickets to Alasdair on tour - Immediately! Join the LoreFolk at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/loremenpod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ko-fi.com/loremen⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Check the sweet, sweet merch here... ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.teepublic.com/stores/loremen-podcast?ref_id=24631⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ @loremenpod ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠youtube.com/loremenpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/loremenpod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.facebook.com/loremenpod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Going on vacation? We're here for it. With kids, who turned the backseat into a courtroom drama over whose tablet is louder, whose charger is faster, and while watching the same cartoon for the hundredth time is the human right? Yep, we totally have vehicles to handle that, because whether it's a road trip or a business trip, where your flight's delayed, your phone's at 2% and your dinner is whatever is open.

Yeah, here for that too. Enterprise, we're here for it. Welcome to Lawmen, a podcast about local legends and obscure curiosities from Days of Yore. I'm James Shakeshhaft. I'm Alastair. I've got a very topical tale for the time. Because we are in the throes of summer, I've got a tale of snow in summer. Oh, that would be lovely. Wouldn't it be weird? I have a bit of that, thank you.

It would be frightening. It would be even more frightening than three months of heat. wave. Yeah, might go and get a bit of summer snow. Well, it's chilling. And so's the story. So, Alistair. James. As we record this, the weather has broken.

It's drizzle town. People would have said, could have argued it has been broken for quite some time, given that we've had like three months of heat wave in England. And I believe Wales is on fire. That shouldn't be possible to happen. Right. Not whales. No, to be fair, if it were the animals, that would be even worse.

If it were the sea mammals. Even less likely. That'll be an even more alarming sign of climate change. But I've got a tale for you of snow in summer. In fact, I've got a couple of tales of snow in summer. Oh, that would be sweet. Might have spoiled the punchline to both the stories there, but here's a couple of tales of snow in summer.

First of all, Alistair, I'm going to take you north. I'm going to take you to Cumberland. Take me to Cumberland. The sausage county. Yeah. Now it's a Cumberland sausage, the, the sort of spiraling sausage? Yeah, it's having a terrible time.

You can't compete with Lincolnshire, is that what you think? Yeah, I think it's just lost it. But, you know, is Cumberland the one that's a big long spiral? I mean, I don't want to say what it looks like in terms of its shape. Let me stop you from ruining your Google search, and I will Google the Cumberland sausage just to double check. Yeah, it's the emoji one. Yeah, yeah.

And it's not an emoji of a sausage, yes. would be voiced by Patrick Stewart in the movie. It's the never-ending sausage. It's the hypno-sossage. Hypno-banger. Also the name for my new album. That's why I imagine it would sound like. As it sizzles on the pan.

Oh, nice, yeah. But I'm taking you to a little place in Cumberland, sausage county, called St. Bees. St. Bees. St. Bees. Not the bees. Not the bees. That's my Nicholas Cage impression.

Not the bees. Not the bees. Not the bees. Not the bees. Not the bees. Not the bees. Helled it. Yeah.

We got that. Yep, yep, yep. Yeah, St. Bees is a coastal town on the northwest bit of Britain right up near Scotland and that in sausage county. And it is said to be named after a seventh century. Irish Princess, who was called St Bega, the Virgin. Oh. Probably pronouncing that wrong. How is it spelled, Bega?

B-E-G-A with a hat. Yeah, I don't know. I'm going to actually look that up because I forgot to look that up. And to be honest, I don't know if we can trust it. It might be be bigger. I don't know if you can really ask the internet how to pronounce Gaelic words and names and get an accurate answer. Princess Bega.

Bigger. Princess Beger. Burger. Bigger. Bigger. Not the bigger. Beggars. Beggers.

So sort of like burgers, if you're so posh, you don't know what a burger is. Burgers. Beggers. Burgers. So Princess Beggers, as she was back then, she was, well, she'd caught the eye of a Prince of Norway. Right. A sort of Bowser-like character? Very much so.

and, well, he hadn't caught her eye. Right, I see. She was like, I want to be a bride of Christ. Look, this angel gave me a bracelet and it's got a cross on it. It's from Jesus. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. So she's got like a friendship band from Jesus. She wants to become a nun.

Nun. Nun. Are we taunting nuns now? Somehow it seems misogynistic to taunt nuns. Everyone enjoys slapping a monk on his tonsia, James, but you can't. You can't wiggle or nuns. You should never touch a nun's wimple. That's for a nun's business is in that habit.

That's not for you to touch. Yeah, that's true. Stop touching a nun's business, James. Messing with her habits. Well, she's got a friendship bracelet from Jesus, and she wants none of this Prince of Norway. Very good. And it says that the day before the wedding,

she escaped, quote, with the bracelets help. Now, this is from a friend of the show, Laura of the Land. And I've tried to dig in to find out a little bit more about how a bracelet could have helped a nun escape. And what I found was that Tom Linson's translation, and I quote, inserts phrases and indeed whole sentences of his own devising without warning.

So, yeah, I couldn't find out. I see, I see. But we are in a sort of Mario kind of world. Instead of the Mushroom Kingdom, it's the sausage county. Instead of bowser, we've got the Prince of Norway. I imagine the ring offers powers comparable to Tanuki Mario. Oh, okay. Yes.

And a nun's outfit does look at a little, little, little. Yeah. And fly. White Tanouki as well, so she can just keep going forever. There's a white Tanooga these days? Kids today don't know they're born. I know. We had to keep pressing A.

No, that's the one where you're like, you've done really badly on this level. Do you want the thing that grants you a mortality and you can fly all the way to the end? For the little kids. That's nice. Yeah. Yes.

It was very embarrassing when that that question mark block appeared at the start of the level. But yeah, so the next day, and this is Quina Mario as well, she sailed across the sea from Ireland on a sod of earth. Like a moving platform. Yeah, kind of like a moving platform. And I tried to find out how the bracelet helped in all this. Just wise cracking, maybe. Well, I did the Google search and the automatic AI said that the bracelet made gates. open and she used it as a compass on the sod.

And then I looked up the cited references and I could not find any mention of these things. You know, it's just lying. I hate that so much. It's less than useful. You could say that it inserted phrases and indeed whole sentences of its own devising without warning. So, you know, maybe things haven't changed. Because that guy was writing like 1,200.

Or maybe. Why did you do that in that sort of California? I'm trying to perfect my Nicholas Cage accent. Oh, it's Nicholas Cage, sorry. It's Nicholas Cage. It's Nicholas Cage. Maybe things haven't changed. I find to do that voice, whether or not it's Nicholas Cage is,

you have to sort of purse your eye, brows up in the middle and kind of talk out of the side of your mouth. Yes. You're just a few inches away from Owen Wilson, I think, with that impression. I think that's the danger. You've got to make a decision. It's the same face, isn't it? It's the same face.

I put sort of a... Yeah, like you say, normally, most people can only purse their lips, but Owen Wilson can purse his entire face. Even his nose is pursed, if you look. It's very pursed. It has a crease in the end. Okay, so anyway, she ended up in Cumberland, Sausage County, at St. B's, but obviously that wasn't named that yet.

So now, smash cut, or probably a dissolve, actually, because it's quite a dignified film. even though it's got Nicholas Cage Ando and Wilson playing the same role. Okay. Which is narrator. A tasteful dissolve. To the summertime, about 500 years later.

Can I put in a small sidebar? Go on. We've had, as you mentioned at the top of the show, about five heat waves, and I've been living in London for the whole time. Yeah. And the only thing that is worse than that is remembering that red hot chili peppers song,

London in the summertime. Oh. Do you know that one? Fortunately not. I don't know how. you've been so exposed to the RHCT. Well, it's, we don't know how it happened. I do, I do like it, but when I think about why I don't know, well, the whole song is about

an English girl, an American man, which would be in his eyes, a highly romantic pairing. But London in the summertime, it's horrible in London and the summertime. Yeah. By all means, come over here and take the women. That isn't my issue. Take them so we're air-conditioned, which is America. They'd be delighted. Even just being on the plane they enjoy,

because it's climate-controlled. It's been boiling here. It's, yeah. Anthony. Did you even think? So thanks for nothing, red hot chili peppers. Yeah, boo. Boo.

Some more. Pops a, try out, put some pants on. Yeah, come on. Stop using socks as pants. We know you've got air conditioning, so get a shirt. Yes, you must be freezing in that sock. You ain't going out like that? I would say to them if they were my sons.

If you were the red hot chili pepper's dad? Yes, if I were Popper Red Hot Chili Pepper, or you could say Red Hot Chili Popper. Yep, I definitely would say that. In fact, I was just about to say that because I realized you were going to say it, so I respectfully paused. Oh, thank you very much.

Anyway, that was mid-dissolve. We had a little sort of side. Yeah, yeah, that was just during the dissolve. They just showed a second feature. That was a deleted scene. A short documentary about the Red Hot Chili Poppers. Let's be clear, it's P-O-P-P-A, not P-O-P-E-R. Come on.

Yeah, oh, yeah, no, that is, that's a bad combination. That's a, that's a flavor you don't want of Popper. So, right, in summertime, it's a few hundred years later. On the shore, there's more nuns. A bunch of nuns have been washed ashore in a storm. Nunstrike. Yes, the nuns have made landfall. Right, all the villages coming down to clean them, like penguins.

Yeah, it is a nun humanitarian disaster. Oh, dear. Do you remember when that nun fell into the curry and came out all orange? No. No, it happened to a seagull. It was in the news. A seagull fell into a big vat. It fell into a big vat of curry, and it was tragically and hilariously bright orange.

An orange. Wow. Tumaric, isn't it? Yeah. Pardon? Tumaric? Oh, it is. Yeah.

It is Tumeric. Tirmaric? I thought you said it was Tumeric. It's tomeric. That is turmeric, if anything. Tumaric. I'll look about it to say it online. Tirmaric.

You pronounce it Tormorick. And it's Sean Connery as well now. Thank you. I'm Wilson doing Sean Connery. Yeah. This is like the set of the film The Rock. if Owen Wilson was also there. Anyway, yeah, so a bunch of nuns are washed up on the shore.

They're getting the wimples washed. The lady of Egremont Castle wants to help the nuns. So she says to her husband, how can we help these nuns? And he was quite sarcastic, and he was like, I'll give him much land of snowfalls next morning. Because it was the middle of summer. So he's kind of saying that. It seems like he's got his own thing going on here, though, doesn't it?

Yeah. What are you talking about snow? Why do you hate none so much? What's happened? What's happened to you? Do you think they're penguins? Is that why you're talking about snow? Maybe that's why he's thinking of snow.

It's like if I just started referring to them as the red hot chili poppers without anyone having seen that deleted scene from earlier. Yeah, without the explanatory backstory to that name. Yes, it would be confusing. I think this is another case of that relationship, that marriage is clearly on the rocks. They are not communicating well. No.

That husband and wife. No. She just wants to help a few nuns. Perfectly reasonable. Yeah. But do you know what happened the next day, Alistair, when they woke up? No, I don't know.

It had snowed in the night. What? I did know because you said at the start. Wow. In the summer. In your face, Lord Sarcasm. Lord Sarky. So it was snow all the way from their castle to the coast.

And I believe the area is called, Whitehaven and that is an explanation for why it's called that. I appreciate you saying an explanation. Yes. And then they built some B's Priory there, which is near St. Nun's Apiary, presumably, just so they really confuse people. And is it B-Double E, St. B? St. B's, as in not the.

Yes, of course, of course. A surprisingly easy word to spell in a spelling bee, B. Spelling B is much easier than a spelling B. Yeah. Once you've got the letter B, which is already kind of a given, you're well on your way. You're a third of the way to the end. The only vague confusion is there's the B of as in to B. Right.

But you've kind of like, if that's the one you're going for, you've already got there. Yeah, you've got to play it savvy. You go B, E, and then pause, looking at them to see if that was the word they wanted. And then you can add an extra E. Yeah. I don't think there are any other. Is that why it is a spelling B? because I've never understood why those little honey,

those little honey fellas have got anything to do with spelling. No, I don't know exactly what a bee is either. In that respect. Yeah, no, I guess it's, is it because everyone's sort of buzzing about as a hive of activity? So it's a... Are there other types of bees? There must be if there's a spelling bee.

Apart from the insect listener, because I know you're going bumble, honey. I'm going to look that up now. Now, I've immediately got the Wildlife Trust. That's not the information I wanted. Wrong kind of bees. Not the New York Times puzzle. This is the ultimate etymology, entomology corner misstep.

To be fair, to me, I did misspell B as the other kind of B. Whoa. I did spell it B.E. Oh, it ain't so easy. Okay, Encyclopedia Britannica. Why is it called a spelling bee? Kev, remember it might insert words or phrases entirely of its own making, up.

This is the Encyclopedia of Britannica. I think we get struck the Encyclopedia Botanica. Thank you very much. And my guess was wrong. It's got nothing to do with that kind of bee, italics, Britannica's own. Buzzing around. A hive of activity. Yeah.

So a bee is a social gathering. Because. With the goal of the collective goods. Spitting bee was first used in 1769. This is sell American. I've never heard any of this. Quilting bee. And what is it?

And what is it? And what is it a load of men? And then there's, Just one woman. Is that how the American social events used to go? I don't know. Apparently it dates back to the time of Shakespeare, but gained popularity during colonial times

when Benjamin Franklin thought a little competition would help students learn to spell. Benjamin Franklin invented spelling bees. Benny Franks. That's what I'm getting from that. Sorry, Americans, if you know this and had just been rolling your eyes, E.Y.E.

The whole time. Sorry. We didn't know. We didn't. We didn't. This is your rant and deck. And of course, Wonky Donkey was invented by Benedict Arnold. Yeah, exactly.

That's why we catch it. As all British people know. Well, Alistair, here's another tale from Warwickshire from a place called Roxul. Roxel. Roxel. Which sounds like the guy that does the Wicks advert trying to talk about the London area of Vauxhall. But no, it's a place called Roxor. R-O, is it?

Roxal. Is W-R-O-X-A-L-L? Roxal. Roxol. So where are we again? Where's Roxal? Roxal. It's in Roeckshire.

In Warwickshire. It's in Warwickshire. It's in Warwickshire. Yes. The parish church here is dedicated to St. Leonard. Do you want a quick St. Leonard's sidebar? Yes, please. St. Leonard's was one of the posh schools, I think, near me when I was growing up.

But I don't know anything about St. St. Leonard apart from that. He's a so-and-so. Okay, so that we're flipping over to folklore myths and legends of Britain here, also a friend of the show, for a little bit of St. Leonard backstory. Just so you know, St. Leonard is St. Leonard of Nob-Lack. Okay. All right. Well, that explains a few things. French for Genesee Quar. Yeah, I think Lack means like, but I don't know what the French, I don't know what Nob is in French. they weirdly they don't have a word for it

or do they have a hundred words for it anyway this is Horsham halfway between Horsham and Peas Potage which I thought was a food both of those are foods peas and potage but peas of course as we all know and the listener is no doubt screaming is the old spelling of P

before people thought that that was plural and turned it to the individual singular P no one had ever seen a singular P no they had They were all called peas. Or if they ever saw a single one, they were thought, there's probably one behind it.

Probably a slightly smaller one hiding behind it. Well, because that's how they are in pods, isn't it, in a row, single file. Yes, good to know. Okay, so halfway between Horsham and Peas potage is St. Leonard's forest. And that, Alistair, had a dragon in it. Oh, yeah?

And St. Leonard of Noblack, after he'd done some stuff in France, he came over and became a forest-based hermit in the south of England. A Sylvania recluse. Yeah, he was attacked by this dragon, and where his blood dripped, lilies grew. Do you know which part of him that the dragon got? Because that explained his surname? Well, I don't know whether he had the surname before, so we know what part it didn't get.

Well, yes, it might have been in the same way that a lizard might lose its tail in order to escape from a predator. Yes. Yeah, he was wounded in this battle with the dragon, and where that blood dripped, Lily's grew and there's still a place called Lily beds there and then he killed, then he slew the dragon and God as a reward God decreed that adders in the forest

will never sting again and that nightingales which had disturbed the saint's prayers would never sing there again as well. I know that's interesting because that's the same story about Thomas Beckett isn't it? He got the nightingales to

shut up. Yeah that's again they've got their own things going on there, seems like, these guys. I can understand the connection between dragons and adders, but it feels like the nightingales were really taking flack. They weren't involved at all. He paper-clipped that in? Yeah.

Like, oh, okay, yeah. Great. Oh, thanks for the others. We're going to start out these blooming nightingales as well, because they keep messing with my prayers. Back to Roxul, though. Vauxhall? Roxel.

During the Crusades, In 1140, the Lord of the Manor of Rochsel, Hugh de Hatton. Hugh de Hatton, me de Hatton, because I've got my hat on. Hugh de Hatton. Is that his name? Incredible. Yes. He went to Crusades and he got captured.

Are you going Crusades? He went down Crusades. Oh, not Crusades as in the youth. Christian club. The real crusade. Actual crusade. There was. And a lot less ping pong

on that one, I believe. Yeah, Hugh de Hatton. It's pretty difficult for an entire battalion to sit backwards on a chair. Yeah, so he went on these Hugh de Hatt on and he got captured. Presumably he was trying to hide, but his hat was sticking out.

Yeah, yeah. They got him. There he is. and he was kept imprisoned for seven years. And as it says here, we're back in Law of the Land here, it says here, it then occurred to him to pray to St. Leonard for help. Seven years. Seven years!

What was he doing until then? St. Leonard is also the patron saint of imprisoned people. I don't know if he was just going through the saints, or he just didn't realize that Old Noblack was, he had the solution to his problem. Maybe that's how we know St. Leonard is the patron saint of imprisoned people. Maybe before then.

Because he was just sort of trying random saints. It could have been off a grap's. It could have been a case of trial and error, yeah. Yeah. Just brute forcing it. The saint appeared to him in a dream. He prayed to St. Leonard. The saint appeared to him in a dream,

told him that he could indeed be free, providing he vowed to endow a convent on his return. This he did. And as Dougdale, Sir William Dougdale, the antiquary. Willie Duggs. Billy Duggo. He Dougal. wrote in 1656 that

which vow was no sooner made than he became miraculously carried thence with his fetters and set in Roxhall Woods not far distant from his own house. So boom all of a sudden boom transported home. In rags like Odysseus returning home incredible. And in fact

I haven't seen it. A shepherd of his own. One man on his shepherd possible idea for a TV show. One dog and a shepherd? I know I think the thing people don't like about one man and his dog is the dogs. I'd like a version of it where a landowner yells at a shepherd. Just shouts it.

Just tells him what to do. Just an appraisal. Yeah, exactly, yeah. I want a tenant farmer's version of one man and his dog. So, yeah, this shepherd finds him passing through the thickets. And it says here, and after some communication, though he was at first not a little affrighted, in respect he saw a person so overgrown with hair, discovered all to him. So they're like, he had seven years worth of hair.

Yeah. And that frightened the shepherd. And presumably as well, his hair had grown so big, he didn't have his hat on. Oh, yeah. So, of course, he wasn't recognisable. They would have taken it off him when he entered the prison. It would be Hugh de hat off. Anyway, it would be hard to explain who you were because the shepherd would say,

Who are you? You know, old man. And he would say, Hugh de hat on. And he would say, I don't have a hat on. Answer the question. Stop changing the subject, you weirdo. What is this? This isn't whose line is it anyway.

Hugh's hat is it? That'sy way. Yeah, Hugh's hat's on first. And I'm going to continue with Doug Doug Dale's lines, whereupon his lady and children, having advertisement, came forth with to him, but believed not that he was her husband till he shewed her a piece of a ring

that had been broken betwixt them. He said shewed, S-H-E-W-D. He shooed them. Yeah, so they got reunited. But so Hugh, he wanted to make that church that he'd made the vow that he would to St. Leonard. But he failed for several months to find a suitable sight. Hugh, endow that nunnery. On the anniversary of his homecoming, he noticed lines of stones had mysteriously appeared

around the very spot where he had awoken forming the outline of a church. And so he built the nunnery there. Wow. That's God really helping you out there. Really is. I feel like it might have been able to wait a little. bit longer and it would have just grown. Yes.

It was a naturally occurring, naturally occurring nunnery. People are always saying, oh, give me a sign, but that's really almost patronising. Yes. To go to that extent, to actually outline. A big arrow on a spring saying build nunnery here. At least in the story of St. Cuthbert, the coffin not moving requires some interpretation. But the actual outline of a church. Come on.

So, Alist, those are the tales. Of snow in the summertime. What's he talking about that doesn't make any sense? Well, better not draw attention to it. It's a summertime snow. Thank you. That really cooled me down. Yeah.

It's chilled everyone out, I think. Yes. Especially that bit about Thumbpiece, if it didn't get popped into the bonus. Yes, yeah. And if it did get popped into the bonus, what a temptation that must be for people who haven't signed up to the Patreon to find out what the hell that riff was about. Yeah.

I mean, it was broadly that. But there's some other stuff as well, I'm sure. Bound to be, bound to be other stuff. Has to be. Some of it may be better than what went into the episode. We just, we don't know. We just don't know. It's hard to tell.

So are you ready to score my snow? Yes, I'm ready to score you, James. Excellent. Okay, first up, supernatural. So do we think the snows were caused by God's actions? It's got to be. It's classic God stuff. It is. He loves to control the weather.

He's like a care bear. One of the care bears. He's like all the care bears rolled into one, actually, God, isn't it, in a way? Does only one of the care bears control the weather? Yeah. What are the rest of them do? Well, there's bedtime bear, courage bear. But what are their responsibilities?

What's their field of interest? There's parking ticket bear. Yeah? They're all sort of, they're based on whatever's on their tummy, bedtime, birthday, a cheer, friend, fun shine, good luck. Grumpy, love a lot, tender heart and wish. Those are the original 10 care bears. What?

Some of those are rubbish. Yeah, bedtime bear was my favourite. Good luck is a little bit like he's washed his hands of the situation. It's just like, good luck. Good luck with grumpy bear, bear. Yeah. Wow. Useless. Yeah.

Most of those care bears are rubbish. None of them are God. But God can be grumpy as well. So you're right. He's like, and it's bedtime. So with that in mind. Yes, teleporting. Teleporting Frenchmen about the place.

Teleporting Hugh de Hatton. Well, I'm assuming Hu da Hatton was French. Maybe he wasn't. He was from Rochall. He was Lord of the Manor in Rochstle. Yeah, but the Lord's were all kind of. Probably a bit French back then, yeah. Yeah.

It was Brittany. Very good. And, oh, magical nun. St. Biga with her magic bracelet. Oh, yeah. Jesus Friendship Band. Yeah, levitating platforms from Mario. Levitating platforms.

The sausage kingdom. The sausage county. Yeah. Yeah, so a county, not a kingdom. I've promoted. Yeah. And yeah, that's it, really, with the snow, combined with the snow,

and a Hu de Houton. Mio opens a sack, and there's like a spiral-shaped sausage in there saying, sorry, the princess is in another bottle. And he eats that. And then it turns into a snow level. Yeah, very, yeah. So it is supernatural.

Yes. Can we change it to Super Mario? Yeah, no, I think Supernatural with Super Mario tendencies. In the Super Mario font. In sort of all the different kind of letters, supernatural. Yeah, it's a four out of five. It's a good school. Do-da-da-da-da-do-hoo.

Let's go to the second category, which is... Oh, yeah, it's underground. The second category always. The second one's underground. Naming, naming, naming. Naming. Okay, Hugh de Hatton. Hugh de Hatton.

Brilliant name. Brilliant name. Simon Knoblack was his name? Simon Quinlack, I think I'm thinking of. Leonard. St. Leonard Knoblock. Yes. Leonard Knoblack, the Hobby Messiah, I guess.

The St. Beegis. St. Beegis. Beegis. Not the Bees. Peas pudding. Peas pudding, yeah. That's a nice, nice. Peas potage.

Peas potage. It's peas potage. It's like a cheese cottage. Carriage and peach porridge. Yeah. If you smushed together a cottage cheese and some peas, you'd have Peas partage. Yeah, so that's a name.

Beautiful, great names. William Dougdale. Dougdale, Dougdale, Dougdale, Dougdale. Yes, of course, Willie Dugs. That's a point. Absolutely. Dougdale, Dougdale. And Roxor.

And Roxor, which is more of an accent than it is a good name. I do think you are really putting a lot into the performance of Rocksaw. I think I'm going to say it's a four. Mm-hmm. But because I'm afraid I'm not that impressed with Roxal. What? What? What?

What? I'm sorry. But the rest of them were very strong. Rest of them were very strong. And two forces. She's very pleased. Excellent. The next category is sarcastic king in the St. B's area.

So B and sarcasm all together in one there. Yeah, and a nice friend's reference. Come on, Kings. You can't keep using humour as a defence mechanism. Confront the issues in your marriage. Yes, and try and get that Chez-Lange up the tower steps. Maybe if Leonard Noblak hadn't been going Commando. Oh, yes.

Yep. Okay, I'm actually, I'm bowing. I'm bowing with my... I should do. I think that's it, I'm afraid. I can't even think... For Dahoodahton, he's not particularly... He's quite honest, really, isn't it?

Yeah, I mean, the only friends connection I can think is when Joey wears that union flag hat when they're in London. In London in the summer? In the summertime, yeah. That might have been cut. That might be in the bonus. Probably should be in the bonus, yeah. Yeah. I was complaining about the red hot chili poppers.

Oh, no, that's definitely still in then. Oh, that, oh, your joke is saying, but my lengthy objection. Because of my joke. The song that you don't know is getting cut out just to being, just because it was boring. All right. Yeah, I like this category, but I don't think I can give it more than three because we can't come up with any more friends connections in the story. There was no Leonard's in Friends, I'm guessing.

I can't think of a Leonard. I can't think of a single Leonard from Friends. I'll see if a sentence or words are randomly. Rachel's father was called Leonard or a stage direct, or Joey's talent agent was called Estelle Leonard. Or was that a stale surname? That was a stale of a surname. I didn't know that.

No one knows that. No. No, I'm afraid it's a three. I'm sorry about that. Jeff Goldblum played someone called Leonard once. He didn't. He played Jeff Goldblum. Yeah.

They got Jeff Goldblum in to be Jeff Goldblum. Yeah, yeah. That's what happened. Jeff finds a way. Maybe, do you think sometimes directors want him to not be like that? And he just is anyway? Yeah. Surely.

I think they know what you're getting nowadays with old Jeff. With old Jeff. With Joel Blum. Yes. Final category then? Final category, please. I guess you're not budging on that. Okay.

No, I'm not budging. It's, uh, it's, it's, it's, it's no problem. It's no problem. No problem. It's no problem. Says the voice of, we're not sure, possibly Owen Wilson. Getting way Sean Connery now for me. It's possibly Sean Connery.

It's slipping down a connery slope. Snow problem. Because there was snow and for the king that caused a problem. It was a problem, the snow. Oh, there was another snow. I actually forgot to mention the snow in the second story. Did you? I was wondering why you said that there were cases of snow.

I've realized, I forgot this is the last minute, Hail Mary to get my extra snow points. Quickly praying to St. Mary, the patron saint, of not planning your story well enough. Forgetting a bit of the story, where after they built the second, after he built the church, old Huda Hatton,

they were, someone wanted to do, oh, let me find us. This is highly irregular to be entering more evidence into the record at this stage. Oh, it isn't for me. It's regular.

So one of the Roxhall nuns was ordered by a vision of the Virgin Mary to have a Lady Chapel added to the church and the exact spot was indicated by snowfall in summer. Right. And they didn't have enough money to do it and Alice only had 15 pennies. So she prayed and when she opened her eyes,

the exact sum needed to meet that week's expenses lay on the table beside her and the same thing happened every week until the work was complete. Incredible. Who knew a Lady Chapel was so affordable? and not a euphemism. And needed in a nunnery. That's a really good point, actually.

What were the nuns? What were the nuns? What are they going to do? Maybe it's for one particular lady with the capital, L. Yeah. But this adds an awful lot to your case because there's lots of cases of convenience,

supernatural convenience, where it's just no problem. You pray to Saint-Lennard, bang, you're in the water. Boom. Pray a bit. You ask for a little bit of money. Bang, it's on the table. Builders money's there. Money for the builders. You want to get away from being married to a Norwegian prince. Boom. You get a friendship bracelet from God that enables you to sail across the sea on some salt.

No problem. Yeah, you're right. It's no problem. It's no problem. You're absolutely right. Yes. It's five out of five. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Yes. Yeah. Thank you for that very cooling tale there, James. It was so cooling. I forgot to do the second snow.

I know. If you refer to the recording, you'll see a long pause where I go, what's he talking about in my head? Then just gloss over it and carry on. Yeah, all right. I'll just say something now and you can pop that in. What's he talking about? That doesn't make any sense.

Well, better not draw attention to it. I'll do that. For some other bits, there's probably been cut out. You can find those in the bonus episode, which you can get access to by joining us at patreon.com forward slash loremenpod. You get access to the lore folk discord.

We can meet like-minded lore folk. And thank you very much to all the people that already do that. And thank you to Nicholas Cage for joining us this episode. And Alistair is on tour again. Go get tickets from the internet. King Croms. great show. Not a piece.

Thanks, Nick. Cheers, mate.