Loremen Podcast - Loremen S7Ep36 - Ghosts of West Kennet Long Barrow

Episode Date: October 1, 2026

James leads us down to Wiltshire to see the megalithic marvel that is West Kennet Long Barrow. This Neolithic burial mound is the source of much folklore and at least one awkward social encounter for James. There's ghosts, grabbing hands and a lovely reminder of a funny video off of the internet. The Neanderthal Countdown Video... 3! 2! 1! Get tickets to Alasdair on tour - ⁠⁠⁠⁠Immediately!⁠⁠⁠⁠ Join the LoreFolk at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/loremenpod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ko-fi.com/loremen⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Check the sweet, sweet merch here... ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.teepublic.com/stores/loremen-podcast?ref_id=24631⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ @loremenpod ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠youtube.com/loremenpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/loremenpod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.facebook.com/loremenpod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Discover Coffee Plus on nispresso.com. Welcome to Lawmen, a podcast about local legends and obscure curiosities from Days of Yore. I'm James Shakeshaft. And I'm Alastair, and this week, Alistair, I'm taking you to the prehistoric areas of Wiltshire. Well, prehistoric things in Wiltshire. Wow, wee. Dinosaurus, you said. No. What?

No, I mean, like Stone Age stuff. Well, I mean stones. Right, okay. Big old stones put there by people. Fine. Oh, that sounds all right as well. It is the spooky tales of West Kennet Longborough. Hello, James. Alistair. James.

Yeah. Yeah. I've got some stories for you. Have you? Have you? Yeah. Both sounding a little bit weary. I've got some monumental tales. Monumental, do you say? These tales are monumental.

Monumental, if it was the 90s. we would use a different font for mental. Oh, definitely. It would be all caps. So it's like, oh, these aren't your conventional monuments. These are your great, great, great, great, grandfather's monuments because I want to talk to you about mostly West Kennet Long Barrow. Have you ever been to West Kennet, West Kennet, Long Barrow?

No, it sounds like a full address you've given me, but I've never been there. It's right by Avebury, friend of the show. In fact, it's a mile and a half away from Avebury. That's Children of the Stones' territory, right? Absolutely. This is Wiltshire. We are in prehistoric Stone Central. You've got Silbury Hill right there.

Do you know of Silbury Hill? No, I don't. Silbury Hill. I think I may have sent you an image in that little... Did you find your thrill there? No, unfortunately. And not many people have found anything in Silbury Hill. It is the largest man-made hill.

I thought you're going to say, it's always one of those things where it's actually a ditch. Every place in England is like that. Silber Hill. It is the tallest and second largest prehistoric man-made mound in Europe. Ah, second largest. the largest in the world. Oh, close. It's similar in volume

to contemporary Egyptian pyramids. But like, obviously... I can hear Egyptian listeners being so impressed by that. Yeah, but volume-wise, it's similar to a pyramid. And that is really what you're looking for with the monument, isn't it? Volume. Yeah, it's quite a sloppy pyramid. But it's a chalk mound and it's man-made.

That is impressive. And it's massive. It's 129 feet high. It was constructed between 2,400. I'm trying to find a picture, but I'm just getting pictures of Super Nintendo's that you've sent me. Oh, yeah. Oh, I didn't send it because I didn't think I'd talk about it. I can send it now.

Or you could have a look on the internet. Silbury Hill. It looks like a little rice bowl of land. Oh, yes. Yeah, very distinctive. I take back what I said about its volume. It looks like a hill the way you draw a hill as a child, just flat and then a hill. Yeah, exactly.

And it's been excavated over the years And they haven't really found anything in it According to legend, it's the last resting place of King's seal And in there there's a gold statue on a golden horse Other people think the devil drop some soil Because he was bored Or clumsy If you ask English people from the past

The devil did nothing but make small hills near villages He either made ditches Or small hills or combinations of the two. But it's, yeah. So you can see Silbury Hill from West Kennet, West Kennet Longbarrow,

which I'm sort of singing in the summer I'm piece of cat style. West Kennet Longbarrow is older than Silbury Hill by about a thousand years. Wow, so there must have been people standing on West Kennet Longbarrow going,

there goes the neighborhood, the best-eyed building. Yeah. Silbury Hill. Just like, oh, right. Another earthworks, great. Or looking over going, Oh, it could really do with a little hill just there.

Roughly... It would be nice. The same mass as a pyramid, ideally. Volume rather. So, yeah, West Kennet Long Barrow is... So it's a long barrow, which, for people that don't know... I almost didn't notice the ingenuity with which you explain that, James. The West Kennet Long Barrow is a long barrow.

You never guess where it is. Kenneth, you say, well, I can get more precise. No, so it's, a long barrow is when you go to those prehistoric place, a barrow rather is when you go to those prehistoric places and you see little mounds. They're sort of burial mounds and a long one is, well, I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it using any different words. It's a long run. Try and explain long barrow to someone who doesn't have a concept of barrows or length. Ah. It's like a lot of hills but squidged together. That's not bad, yeah. It's like an M dash of hill.

As the M dash is to the full stop, so is a long barrow to a barrow. But yeah, so this, it's a burial mound, and they found, they found dead, dead bits of people in their skeletal material. Very nice. We did barrows. We did the barrows of Greenwich fairly recently. We've had many a barrow on the podcast before. The oldest bones they found in there had died calibrated between 3670 and 3635 BC with an 81% probability. That was before the common era.

BC, yeah. I might say BC instead of BCE because some of the books I'm looking at are from the past. Yeah. I've got a more modern book called Stone Circles. and this is written by someone who I believe they regularly appear on that ancient aliens program as like a British consultant about things. You know, ancient aliens is the one that's like aliens built the pyramids and stuff.

Yes, I am aware of ancient aliens. Probably built the pyramids based off some of the ideas they picked up at Silbury Hill. Yeah. I like that amount of volume. That vague shape, but I'd like it a little lower res. But this guy, I don't know. Sorry, he's suggesting the pyramids are a voxel-based version of Silbury Hill.

Is that what you're saying? Yes, yeah. They're just like low-res pixel art version. They're 8-bit Silbury Hill. Let us know, Egyptian government, if you're interested in licensing that as a slogan for the Pyramids of Giza. The 8-bit Silbury Hill. And you know what?

You can have that for free. If you just mention... I'm very generous of you. Just mention lawmen on some of the pyramids. Now, I don't know if this guy is the guy from the picture that is used in the meme about aliens, about ancient aliens or whatever that program's called. He's Greek-American, I think, the guy with the wild hair. Oh, is he? Yeah.

Because this guy, and he contributes to this program, and as far as I can tell, this is his real name, it's Hugh Newman. As in Hugh Newman, which looks like that's what that guy is saying. Hugh Newman. It does sound like an alien who'd been stopped by the police would come up with. Unless he's middle names guy. Who am I? Brilliant. Hugh.

I'm new man. Hugh Newman. Hugh Newman. Yeah, he's got a nice little book, which... I'm imagining him driving a classic open top, like a vintage James Bondian car. Hugh Newman. Yeah, Hugh Newman. I see him as sort of dapper gent.

I don't know. I see him as a bit of a surfer dude. That's why I thought he might be that guy with the hair and that from the picture. Yeah, so some of the facts are coming from that. A lot of the folklore I am going to be quoting from, Friend of the Show, I see Sedgwick's excellent episode on the folklore of Barrows, where she talks about West Kennett Long Barrow. And yeah, the stories of this place are, well,

Well, we'll get to that in a minute. So, like I say, some of the oldest skeletal material is with an 81% probability dating back to 3670, 3635 BCE. And the last burials in this primary phase could be as early as 3610. So it was only in use for about 60 years at this point. And it was probably constructed around that time. And then there was a bit of a gap, and then there was a secondary phase of burial, and some of the interior started to collapse of it. It was kind of made up a dry stone wall inside.

It sounds like it was almost like an, is the word ossary to be used here? Osuri, I think. Osuri. I'm not sure how it's pronounced. But, yeah, the ossuary is where you bury people and they rot away. and then to free up space, you dig them up and you put their bones into an ulterior, right? Oh, right, no, maybe not that then.

There's just bodies. There just seems to be bodies in there. But obviously, it's so long ago, literally like 5,000 years ago, we don't know. We can't know exactly what they were doing. And the stress there is on the word we. We don't know. Oh, yeah, I'm sure someone's got an idea.

Someone might know, but we, the podcasters on this podcast, simply can't know. No. And then there was a second stage, which kind of ended around 3-240. So there was more and more people buried in there. And then it was kind of filled in. It's getting crowded.

It is getting crowded. It's like a tube at rush hour in there. And there's beakerware in there, Alistair, probably from the beaker people. There's beakers. There's beakers. Beaker people. Beer. And then during the third millennium BC,

which I'm guessing is the years 2000s BCE the third millennium BC Yeah So it's like What is that 2000, 3,000 years before? Yeah, I guess that's two

starts with a two This is why having Counting Down as your years Is a flawed system Because it would It says the late third millennium BC Which would mean Which end is late

Which ends Exactly Which end is the late end Yes But they blocked it up Basically They put three big Sars and stones there

They were like Well you're done That's it no more And it's likely That was around The same time as Avebury Which is all Sarsden

All the way baby Avebury is the Yes That's the village That's built Within a stone Circle Really great

Wonderful to see You can walk around All the stones there, it's really, it's great. Oh, have you been? I've never been. Oh, yeah. I went the other day when I went to West Kennet-Longborough. You can actually walk, there was a footpath. You can walk between the two. I'm going to have to do this.

From West Kennet Longborough to Avebury and you pass Silbury Hill on the left. So you kind of imagine that that's not a happy touristic accident. Like all these things were probably connected in some way for some reason. Yeah. So yeah, you can walk there. didn't. I didn't do that walk because I had just been at the Strange Days Festival of Fortiana. He just hosted a festival for 48 hours with a broken arm. Of course he didn't walk it. With a legally broken arm. With a note for PE saying James doesn't have to do it. He's broken his arm.

But yet I did. And hello to all the law folk, the lovely law folk I met there. It was very nice to meet you all. And you watched Henge again? I watched Henge again. I blooming loved it. And Dog Show, my gosh, guys. Dog Show was a lot of fun. If you get a chance to see Dog Show, it is enjoyable. Alistair, it's basically two little werewolves. What?

Doing some wicked music. Oh, that's brilliant. I'll send you a video later. Are they Mancunian? Because I think that's my favourite thing about Henge is the accents. No, I think they're Wilts Sheerian, or they're sort of from nearby to where all this is. Yes, from the spooky zone. from spooky zone.

Oh yeah, one of my theories about why the spooky zone is still the spooky zone. In part, it is quite big rolling hills and you can see quite far, which you can't in many places of England, because it's a lot of small hills close together. But you get quite good big vistas, so you can imagine looking out and thinking, yeah, I'll put a hill here. But also, around that area specifically,

there's loads of army camps, and it's where a lot of army do, a big, do a lot of their tank-based training, so they need a lot of land. So it's just not going to get developed, which is kind of good for the historical side of things, because it means they're not going to get built on. Yeah. Yeah, I suppose it is, I suppose it's good that they know how to use the tanks, I guess. I guess I'm in favour of that.

It'd be better than them not knowing how to use them. You don't want to learn on the job, I would say. No. It would be. How hard can it be to pilot? tank, though. I think it's quite hard. I think the person that's...

Well, I reckon I could do it. I think one of the key things is the person that's driving can't also see out at the same time. Or maybe that's more of a feature of tanks in the past. You'd think someone would have attended to that since they were invented? Yes. Or at least, yeah, at least put a telly in.

But why I sort of say the earliest skeletons that they found in there, I made a point of pointing that out is because there was a bit in the 1600s where loads of medicine men would just go in. And I think the quote is... Snaffle, Nab. In 1685, a Mulbra doctor

took away many bushels of human bones to make medicine. Bushels! Many bushels. He's getting bushels in there. That's from Atlas of Magical Britain by Janet and Colin Board. The boards.

The boards. The boards. Which is if a Geordie was in a Hitchcock film. Oh, no, it's the boards. It sounds like bird in a Jordie accent is what I was saying. It does. Speaking of a Jordie, or speaking of the northeast, rather, Icy Sedgwick does do a lovely little roundup of the strange experiences and folklore of the borough.

She knows her stuff, I see. It's a great episode. I highly recommend people listen to her podcast. in general, this episode in particular, collated on the paranormal database, there's a couple of 90s incidents where a witness went down to the barrow and felt like, oh, sorry, I haven't pointed out the great thing about this barrow, have I, Alistair. You can go in it. Oh. Yes. So if I refer you to my pamphlet of photos, if you go to the first one. I'm depamphing. I'm unfolding here. Okay, so I've got a picture of a classic shake shaft.

Yes. Now, that's not a baseball cap, is it? That's that other kind. That's a trucker cap, yes. That's a trucker cap, yes. The kind of the American's favour, which just looks like a baseball cap, but sort of like plush. It's net. A bit puffy.

Netting and the front is a kind of, it is a sort of puffy material rather than a cotton or wool. and a grey sweatshirt. You've partnered it with a grey sweatshirt. I just want people to be able to visualise this. And in the background, there's some kind of barrow. There's also some barrow. That stone there I'm pointing at is four metres tall. That's the big one that they put right in front, as if to say,

no more, stop putting your bodies in here. Wow, but in perspective, it's very hard to tell. Flip to the third one, you should get an idea of the perspective a bit better there. You've photographed yourself where you're right in the bottom of the frame to give the impression of height. And I appreciate that. Exactly. It's like Lord of the Rings.

It is, yeah. And that is a big old stone. They've put a little side entrance. Well, you kind of go around the stones and then you can get in and get at it. As I found in the next picture, that's me just outside. James, I had a moment of excitement there because I thought I saw glowing eyes or something looking out of the depths of the tunnel that you're standing in front of. But it is dust on my screen that is just catching from my lamp.

And the lamp is, the bulb I have in it is very warm. So I thought it was maybe the glimmerings even of gold or treasure in the depths of the barrow. But it actually just is a mucky screen. Well, do clean that screen because you don't want to scare yourself. And if you go to the next, so this is basically, you go in and there's a little tunnel, not a little, a little corridor with four chambers off to the left and right, which are where they in the past did find human. remains, skeletal remains, and you can go and have a little look, and it is very, very atmospheric.

Someone, if you go to the picture, someone's left some sort of twigs and bits and bobs and a little feather on the ground. Clearly not accidental collection of items with a folkloric resonance. And then there's another picture. That's one of the side areas in this big smooth stone. Is that the sun shining directly into the mouth of the tunnel? There is a Or is that your light? Or is that your light box.

No, that is the sun. I think I put it on night mode to capture my phone camera on night mode so it captured as much light as possible. But there is a little one of those little sort of light boxes. But there's a beam of light that seems to shine straight down the mouth of the tunnel into the face of a small dog.

Oh, spoiler alert. Oh, sorry, were you building up to there being a little dog in there? Yes. Yeah, then there's another picture which is like a little side thing And then final picture, little doggy. Oh. A little terrified looking doggy.

He has no idea. It was so scared that dog. He said, oh, there was bones in there. I think it had an idea of where it was and it didn't add like it. Really? Yeah, it was well scared that dog. It's got its tail is down. Its head is back.

It's got that, you know, when dogs look apologetic. Because they know they're in trouble. Its little ginger ears are flattened to its. head, it was, it was shaking. Really? Shaking like a scaredy dog. But, yes, probably, because I imagine it smells quite a lot of something in there. Do you think that was the barrel?

Or do you think it was you that was frightening to the dog? Maybe. Because I was wearing such a cool cap. He might have just go, I know, a trucker. I know a teamster, he thought. Maybe he's a little union buster and he thinks he's run into a big, beefy teamster. Oh, no, they're going to get me. Well, what people have reported are more similar to what the dog would report if the dog could report.

Okay, so could you deliver these reports in the voice of the dog, please? Well, I went into the morrow and I felt like I'd walked into a wall. And an invisible force. I hadn't realized until you did it in Scooby-Doo's voice that there is precedent for a cowardly dog. investigating the supernatural. Exactly. A memorable force trying to push me out.

I think for clarity, I might have to ask you to do it in your... This is an older Scooby-Doo, though. My voice is too deep for Scooby-Doo. This is Scooby-Doo, like, sat in front of a fire. Yes, he's in a high-backed armchair with a pipe. Recounting his experiences. And there's no...

What happened to Shaggy? Is Shaggy? Oh, Shaggy's gone. I don't know I've lost Shackie anymore since we rems reverence

Is that a picture on the mantelpiece turned towards the wall? What's happened? Richard Rift Could you say that again? Could you say that in a human voice because I genuinely

struggle to understand some of that account? I regret asking you to do it in the voice of a dog. Bays, well, what happened in 1996 a witness felt like they walked into a wall

an invisible force was trying to push them out of the barrow. Wow. I think, even as a skeptic, I do think places have psychological effects on people. You know, I think people go into spaces. I think some places are creepy somehow, you know, whether that's infrasound or temperature or lighting or just the geometry of the space.

I think some places do make people feel uncomfortable. Well, if you look at the, one of the pictures is of the sort of information board from outside the front of it, there's like a highly detailed, drawing of where all the bodies were in the bit you're about to walk into. So you're like, there were definitely dead bodies here, here and here. Yes. Seven, seven in that one. You're primed, as they would say on uncanny to experience something spooky.

Bloody hell, Alistair, you're right. Because they would also say on Uncunny. They would also say that. Yeah, and it did feel weird. It did feel weird. You know, because you go, also, you're going into a tunnel that is thousands, literally 7,000 years old. No, literally 5,000

years old. Well, that's now disappointing. Yes. And in 1992, someone went in and they felt invisible hands grabbing and pulling her towards the back bit of the tomb, but they managed to break free and run

outside. In 1994, in 1995, I went to say 94, but then I changed to 5 because that was the actual year. That's how hard. Hugh Newman talks, 1904. In 995, a witness heard a high-pitched sound

and then saw a Neolithic man come out of the barrow. Yes. Annoyingly, that wasn't a Neanderthal man because then we could talk about that video where the actor did the voice of the Neanderthal man. Oh, yeah. Oh, it looks like we're talking about it anyway. One, two, three.

One, two, three. That's very good. That's very good. I'm seeing you're right that I'm looking now at the information board, which lists all of the adults and children and the skulls found. It's really nasty stuff. And it's like, go on, go in. One of the chambers has three female adults, three male adults,

and one unsexed adult, which is understandable because all those dead bodies would put you off. That's just a little joke there. Lovely stuff. And then the other tale, which is in IC's podcast, and it's also mentioned in the Atlas of Magical Britain, that there is very little folklore about this. The only recorded belief being the ghost of a priest enters the barrow at sunrise on midsummer day,

followed by a ghostly white dog with red ears. Oh, that's quite good. Alistair, I refer you back to that picture of the little doggy. Oh, of the little doggy. And what colour were its ears, James? They were a sort of gingery red. Maybe you saw the ghost.

Wow. I wouldn't have imagined it was wearing one of those very modern-looking harnesses instead of a couple. And I wouldn't know if the druid had a baseball cap and three-quarter-length cargo shorts. But the guy with the dog did. So who are we to say? We just don't know.

We just don't know what a priest would have worn in those days. Why are we? Yeah. So maybe I saw something, but then also maybe not. Yeah, maybe not. I feel like I should offer a correction. Giorgio A. Tuchalas is Greek Swiss, not Greek-American. Okay.

Although he does seem to have studied at Ithaca College, New York. New York. New York. So very interesting. interesting accent he's got on him. The windy city. Don't start that again. We'll be here all day.

So yeah, that is the little tale of West Kennet Long Barrow and other business. Wonderful. Very spooky. Man, that Barrow's long. It's ever so long. I walked along the length of it. And there was a couple of people there who had also, unsurprisingly, just been at the Strange Days Festival.

And I was like, they were like 20 meters ahead of me, the whole. time. And I'm not like there were some sort of specter that I could never catch up with. It was just a bit awkward. Yeah, it's like when you say goodbye to someone and then it turns out you're walking along the same barrow. Yeah, yes, exactly. Are you catching this barrow home as well? Oh, okay. Yeah, we're going to have to draw. Okay. So shall we score? Yes, I'm ready to score. Let's do it. Wonderful. Okay, first up, naming. Names. I enjoy the names. Silbury. Yes. Silbury Hill.

It's got a knife. Got a knife, knife found. Knife found. I don't know why I list. Hugh Newman. Hugh Newman. Hugh Newman.

Hugh Newman. Great name. Yes. Georgio Tukalis. Yes. I forgot to mention one of the other books that I've just generally drawing on for information is Ancient Monuments, Volume 2, Southern England,

which is the full title, Illustrated Regional Guides to Ancient Monuments under the ownership or guardianship of his Majesty's Office of, Office of Works, Volume 2, Southern England, by the Wright Honourable W. Ormsbury Gore, FSA MP, formerly third commissioner of works. Wow. And this is published by His Majesty's Stationery Office, 1936. Wow. Very impressive. I love when, I love when guys from those days have like a toddler's letter blocks after their name, like they've just sort of shaken out some letters. It's just MP, Q and Z. It's like, wow, pretty impressive.

It also advises you is to be purchased directly from HM Stationery Office at the following addresses. Accept no substitutes. Well, there's like Adistol House, Kingsway, London, George Street, Edinburgh, York Street, Manchester, St. Andrew's Crescent, Cardiff, Chichess Street, Belfast, or through any bookseller. I've got to say those street names are all confusing. It's all Chichester Street, Belfast, York Street, Manchester, Manchester, Street, Manchester. Try and find a street that isn't named after a different place. Mm-hmm. Or just any bookseller. And I understand that Oxford Street goes to Oxford, and York Road probably goes to York.

But does any street in Belfast go to Chichester? I doubt it. How? And the King's Way, surely that has to be constantly moving, depending on where the King is. Good point. Yeah. They haven't thought this through.

Mm-hmm. Is that Kingsway in London? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Big wide street that. Yeah. wide enough for a king.

Anyway, so yes. King's width is really more what it is. And length. It's a hefty street, Kingsway. You're slamming the Kings, I guess. Anyway, the names, the name scores. Come on. Pretty good, pretty decent.

But I would say no, no really characterful standouts, you know. Nothing really silly. So I'm going to be. I say it's, apart from Hugh Newman, who's carrying a lot of weight or water, I'm not sure, not sure what the phrase is. It's the equivalent volume to the pyramids of Egypt. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. He's carrying a lot of water, which would have a lot of weight, so it means the same thing.

I'm going to say it to three for names. Okay, fine. Then, supernatural. Oh, pretty high, I think. Very spooky, lots of supernatural experiences. occurrences, phenomena. We've never had a force field, not recently anyway, on the podcast.

A force field and or a tractor beam. Yeah. Do you think in Star Trek they have beams for other farm equipment, like a thresher beam? As opposed to the, because of the field. Well, they've got a tractor beam, haven't they?

Oh, the tractor beam. Sorry, I thought I was looking at the field element. Yeah, no, a tractor beam. Yeah, they must do. Maybe they've got a combine harvesting beam. They could have a combine harvester beam. I don't know, Alistair. You know what?

We simply don't know. Just a random neolithic ghost. Neolithic man, one. Yes, we had a... Two, three. We had a ghost. I know that's actually not the Neolithic. Neolithic.

A neolithic ghost, not a Neanderthal ghost. What about the ghost that I saw, the little doggie? That little... Well, I think that was more of an adorable little dog than it was a ghost. Could have been, though. Match the description. I fear with that Neanderthal voice, you've answered your own question about what the score is.

Three. Three. Yes. I think it is. He never went to four. They had no concept of four. Or indeed five. That's another three.

I find three though. Yes. And really I mainly did that because you said it in a funny voice. All right then. Category the third. I found my thrill. On West Kentet, Long Barrow. Very good, very good, yes.

Because it would be thrilling and it was. Although it was more socially awkward for you when you were there than thrilling. Well, yes, yes, because of the other people. But still. I just talked and told to clap about 30 times over the last 24 hours. James, to be clear, if you don't know, James was introducing people. He wasn't just really struggling on stage alone for that amount of time. So I plays clap.

That had to do each individual clap for the round of applause. So I had to do it 30 times. Yeah, do it one at a timing. Wow. Yes. Yeah, very thrilling. It was thrilling, though. It was thrilling.

It was very, it was really fun to see. I would recommend if anyone's in the area going to see West Kennet-Long Barrow. I feel I'm obliged to give you the school that would most delight and set you a tingle. And so it's a five. Yes. Wonderful. My final category is monumental misunderstandings, aka Who knew, man?

Oh, okay, I see. And that's about the, to us at least, two podcasters, unknowable nature of these stones. We'll simply never know. Again, that's me and James will never know. Yeah, that's what's nice about them is that they're mysterious. Yeah, there's a lot of stuff that is just inferred. It is scientists whose job is to do that and work these sort of things out.

But it's very difficult to know what or why people did these things. Yeah, and people who are still quite distant from us in history also lived around these ancient stones without knowing what they meant. And they created their own stories around them. And so we're constantly sort of reconstructing what they mean. Mm. Like the, the Rome. So great point, Alistair.

When the, yes, Alistair, a very good point. The Romans, there is evidence of like Roman coins around there. So they were obviously digging around, poking around, having a look. Romans just flicking coins in for look. But that, maybe. But that is, that would, the build date of that was further away from them and than the Romans are to us. Wow.

Wow. The nose Romans, obviously the whole Roman, their whole Romans is quite a long thing. Barrow would be completely unknowable to them, to those podcasting Romans. I'm picturing you and me, James. Yeah, me too. There's two Romans poking around. Well, maybe one Roman and a Celt poking around. Did Romans have trucker caps?

This one did. Yeah, they could, you know, they would have known as little, well, I might suppose we know quite a lot about Romans. Again, we, including me, I don't know anything about Romans. I think about them every day, famously. Do you? Do you think about, are you one of the men who thinks about Rome every day, the Roman Empire? I go through phases of thinking about them quite a lot, like if I've just watched Gladiator. I never, maybe I'm not truly a man because I almost never think about the Roman Empire.

But I'm definitely not a woman because I would rather meet a man in the woods than a bear. Right. So I've fallen twigs two memes. Yeah. But there is that thing about the the new, we can't get into it. Now, the nuclear, that thing about nuclear waste. Yes. They need to protect it for 3,000 odd years. The warning saying this is a place of no honour. Yes, exactly. The nuclear waste equivalent of the builders van that says there's no valuables left in this van overnight. Yes, absolutely. What I like to do when I see that sign is break in and leave some valuables.

It really annoys them. Oh, that's nice. I saw one of them stuck on the windscreen of a van saying there's nothing of value in this van. And what I could see through that wind scheme was a builder looking sad. Oh, no. He's having his self-esteem destroyed by that warning. Exactly. It was ready backwards as well.

I thought it was going to be like gold candlesticks or a chandelier or something. She's an absolutely fantastic interior. So? Five out of five. Yeah, you knew, man. Five out of five, because we, again, James and me, will never really know. Two non-experts with only minimal access to Wikipedia. Hold on, James.

I heard recently that you were a folklorist. Yeah. Aren't you appearing at a sceptics event? As a folklorist James Shakespeare, according to. to the marketing materials. Adding fuel to the fuel to the skeptical fire about folklorists.

That's actually a good way, yeah. I've encouraging skepticism by having James appear as a folklorist and everyone go, I am going to be talking about big stones and that. Yeah, that sounds good. I think I'm good.

I don't know. Is Back to the Future really folklore? Is knowing a lot about Back to the Future the same as being a folklorist? We're going to find out. We will. find out. When's that? That is in October. Yeah. 2026. The 16th to the 18th of October, 2026.

And is it, do you want to say what it is so that people, rather than just the date, so that people can cover someone? I don't know. What is it? Is it, is it, is it, is it, or is it only for card carrying skeptics? No, you can buy tickets for the entire can. There's loads of talks for, with people who know what they're talking about. And, and also I'll be there. Oh, there's a fun. The Saturday night looks fun. I think Rialina's going to be there and Andy Zaltzman. Your mates off radio.

Yes, very good. Very good comics. Oh, yeah, I've just come across my listing and that's interesting. Once a comedy actor and stand up. Oh, no. Oh, dear. Now a comedy podcast. This is a comedy podcast.

Yeah. Is it? Yeah. I don't think it's real history. This is more fuel for the skeptics fire. That is true, yes. Of course, we know that not everybody realizes this podcast is meant to be funny. Hmm.

Just something to think about. There'll be some really well-informed people there, and also I will be speaking. Sounds great. West Kennet Long Barrow. How long is it? How long is it? Oh, yeah. That's what an American audience would be shouting, I imagine.

Yeah. Of course, everything's bigger in America. to them it would just be West Kenneth regular Barrow. No doubt there are some bits of that that have been found their way into the bonus episode. Doubtless. And probably an extended chat

about Tunnox and the giant that either does or doesn't live in my town. We may never know. We may legally never know. So please gain access to that by visiting patreon.com forward slash Lawmenpod. And you also gain access to the Lawfolk

Discord where you can chat with like-minded lawfolk. And Alistair, you are mid-tour right now. I am. I'm out and about. I think we might need a record scratch. Let's have a record scratch. Error, error. Not when we recorded this, but by the time you're listening to this, I'm doing it.

I'm just out there night after night with several nights off. And then night after night again, and then several nights off. And it's just, it's relentless. I'm a hard work. Night after night towards the weekend. Yeah. Well, sometimes it's like, I can't get the weekend, so I'm on Tuesday, because they've got someone famous on the weekend or something.

They've got ballet on. Yeah, exactly. They've got like a, like one of those things where it's like curry and a karaoke. So I go on earlier. Don't ooh that. I'm on earlier in the week. Actually, that's probably the worst combination of things I could think of. You don't want to sing after a curry.

You don't want a karaoke. Hold on a minute. Print that out. Post that to yourself, James. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's done. Is it a cooking show or is it? it a singing show?

I think it would have to be Katsu, wouldn't it? Because it would have to be sort of like a Japanese curry. Oh, because of, yeah, because karaoke's Japanese. Hmm. All right then. Well, we'll do that in the meantime. I think, though, the smell of the small room after people have had a curry in there and then some karaoke, that's going to be, that's going to be challenging.

That is not true. That's going to seep into the upholstery. That is not treating other people as you would like to be treated. It's not. But do go see Alistair on tour. Don't make my idea for karaoke. And oh yeah, I'll put a link for the skeptics thing. Go and see James being an expert in folklore.

Eek. It's the headshot you sort of loosening your collar. Yeah. They've upped the hue, the red colors on it. They've photoshopped beads of sweat. Yeah. Wow. Are those AI tears?

Back to the music. Aeroo. Which face Scooby-Doo. Back to the music, DJ Scooby-Doo. Hello. One, too, many lots. That's a Disc World joke, isn't it? That is Disc World, yeah.

Yeah. Tick that off your Disc World, Bingo.