Loremen Podcast - Mid-season Bonus: Ride-along with the Loreboys

Episode Date: May 28, 2026

Ever wondered what it would be like to be in a car with Alasdair and James?  Wonder no more! Here is a recording of just that, so you can pop it on your headphones when you're on the bus and experience the thrill-a-minute feeling of driving behind a caravan on an A-road whilst two men play the pub game and generally pass the time. Enjoy! This is a former Patreon-only episode from 2021. So if you're hearing it, that either means James is on holiday or we are travelling backwards in time. Who can say which? For new bonus bits - go to patreon.com/loremenpod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Wayfair, every style, every home. So I don't know how any of this is going to go into the podcast, but James and I, the Law Boys, are on tour. Yes. We're in a car. Yes. But this is the home leg of the tour. Yes.

Because we went to Green Man Festival, planning to get into the rich folklore of Wales, planning to interview all the amazing comedians who were there. Yes. And mainly napped in a tent and watched stand-up comedy. Yes. It was really great. It was a really lovely time.

Yeah. But that's why we're now recording. That's why we're recording in the car on the way back because we forgot to do anything. Really. It did rain a lot, didn't it? It did rain a lot. I've got...

Hopefully we've illustrated the rain with some noise of rain. And that's actual rain, live rain. That's not stock rain. That's rain that we experience. We're not downloading rain from the internet to illustrate rain. That's proper Welsh rain. We own that rain. That's our rain.

If you want to use that rain, you better credit us. Creative Commons. I was thinking of making it into an NFT after speaking to Sinell. We met Sineau, again, who is now a crypto pro. To the surprise of no one. He was really trying to get me into his crypto bro. Do not do it, Joe. Do not do it.

It's of no value. Okay, I won't. Thank you. Speaking of things of no value, we're playing the pub game though. Yeah, explain the pub game. So the pub game, I got it from my wife's family. It's a game to entertain the kids, you know, the pub game for kids. And what it is on a journey in a car, you each take it in turns to get.

the amount of legs in the name of the pub. That you drive past. Don't we drive past the light. So, oh, so James, you just drove past a place called what? Seven, the Seven Springs. That's your one. No, that's mine. What was the previous? Oh, hot air balloon.

You just drove past the hot air balloon, James. Who calls a pub the hot air balloon? That said, a hot air, no, hot air doesn't have to have a person in it, so at zero. Yeah, unless the image on the pub sign has legs. So if it had a little person in the hot air balloon, and you would have got two. Yes.

So I've just driven past the seven springs. Yeah. And that's also zero. So the game is really hotting up, listener. Yeah. You have joined us at the least exciting, least dramatic stage of the game. Well, we're doing a cumulative. You can do it round by round if you just want a quick hit of pub game.

But we're doing a cumulative version. Yeah. And you're on 10? I'm on 10. And, yeah, I'm on 4. James on 4. which is lower than 10 actually. Yes, that is a smaller number currently.

Yes, for now. Yes. So it's pretty exciting. Yeah. But it turns out the pub game is in the back of the David Bellamy, I Spy, Cars. Wow. Yeah.

I said, wow, as if I've heard of that book. Have you not heard of the I Spy books? I've heard of the I Spy books. I didn't know Bellamy. I'd want. Bellamy was the face of Ice Spy when I was a kid. I don't remember that. He was, and his literal face was in a little circle.

Face and beer devised by. Yeah. David Bellamy was a naturalist. Is he, was he in 2016? I think he is no longer with us. And he was like a kid's naturalist, wasn't he? Yes. So we're driving back, we're driving through the Cotswold, A-O-N-B.

Area of outstanding natural beauty. Not where we are right now. Now it was a sort of bit of slow-moving traffic because someone with the caravan. Yes, but it is an outstanding caravan. And I... This is, by the way, this bit we're called, driving through now will be called.

If my kids were in a car, we would all be shouting, Green tunnel! Green tunnel! Because there's all trees overhead. Trees are overhanging and reaching each other across. That is a green tunnel! Or, as I was saying, on the way here, a hollow way.

A hollow way. Yeah, the ancient roads that have sunk into the ground. So now you've got a sort of a curved earthen bit and branches overhead. Ooh. Holloway. And would that be like, so Holloway Road? I suspect so, yeah. Comes from being a Holloway there at some point.

Yeah. And Holloway prison, the tiny secret road out of the prison. Ah, that's a tunnel. For the cheekiest and cleverest prisoners. There's a horsey. Which are horses? Two horses and there. Two horses.

Not a pub. Sorry, that was not a pub called the two horses. That was two actual horses. A pub called the two horses is what I need right now. That puts the two of his head. These horses have four legs, not three. Thanks. Basic horse maths.

Standard horse. And I taught James the phrase duck smuggling. You didn't know what duck smuggling meant. But you're going to explain what it means now that I've told you. I believe duck smuggling is when you is the action of going for a little walk so that you can do surreptitious trumps. Yes, it is the act of disguising a fart by walking. And it is, I think, the phrase in the English language that most matches what it means. Definitely. I like to think of myself as a little tugboat when I do a little walk around fart. It gives a pop, pop, pop.

Like the start of the smoggies. What's the smogies? What is of the smogies? It was a cartoon show about some family of polluters, I think, in a tugboat. Were they the baddies? I think they were the goodies. What? Oh, they were kind of cheeky.

Yeah. They pumped out a lot of smog out of that tugboat. Oh, look, there's a pirate house. A house with a pirate flag. Not a pub. Not a pub. Zero points. But we'll be passing a lot of the places

from a lot of my law tales. It is like a law tour, a tour of all the places that you've told me about. We'll be passing the Rissingtons. Of Wickrissington fame? Wick Rissington. There's multiple Rissingtons. Oh, I see.

I didn't realize there was several Ristingtons. There's the Wick Great Little Lower. Oh. Okay, so this is you. Kilkenny Arms. The Kilkenny Inn. The Kilkenny Inn. You can have like Kenny from South Park.

Yes. Which would be two legs. That would be two legs, but we all know that's not what it means. Well, then is it the number of people who live in Kilkenny? No. If so, you've probably gone past 10. It's just the Kilkenny's. There's no legs.

It's another zero listener. Wow. This is hotting up. The odds are stacked against me at the moment in the pub game. Yeah, the likelihood of the next pub not having any legs is slim. I got two fish earlier. Neither of them had legs. I'm forgetting to say things now because I'm just looking at,

just with excitement looking for a pub. Frog meal. It's got a frog on that's four legs. Is that a pub? Yes. Do you frogs have four legs or do they have two legs in arms? Oh. Now, they've got legs.

There's four legs. I don't know. We need to ask the French. We need to ask a French chef. On North Leeds. I think we've definitely done something from North Leach. North Leach, nice. So one thing what I might do is when we get back home,

we might record a little Welsh story that we should have really done. Yes. In Wales. In Wales. Yeah, it can't be all toaster and pub game. Yeah. You need to have some learning

in with all that fun. You really can't do a podcast that is 90% toaster anecdote. Do you not? I'm thinking of spin-off series. Shrakeshaft's toast hacks. I thought that was a purpose for so far. Yeah, there's a bit more dual carriagey

than... It's two. This is too dual courageery for pub. It's going to be a while, isn't it? Yeah. Should I keep the recording going until we get the six. Just to see what it is. I want to see you dramatically equalise.

Yeah. I need to, you're 12. No, you're 14. 14. 14. 14. 14. That's that. Pesky frog. Van cycling.

That was very confusing at all. I think the matter. I think what happened, that it did look like there was a one-arm man cycling but I think he had one arm that wasn't in his jacket. I didn't realize that that was an empty jacket sleeve for a sec

and he was flailing around like he was really angry at the traffic. He thought it was one of those guys who work at petrol stations and car dealerships the wobbly he goes on a bike. Did you see there was one of them

in the audience for your green man spot? No. There was a little, there was Someone at the back sat in a camp chair. Yeah. And next room sat in a camp chair was one of those things. Wibbley, wobbly, woo.

Yeah. They had their arms down, which is good. Oh. They were at a gig. Yes. They can't make it all about them there. That is really glad. But they were sat in a chair next to someone who was very confusing.

That's fantastic. I'm glad I'm appealing to that demographic. And we met a listener? Oh, yeah. Megan? I think she was called Megan. I think she was called Megan. Hello, Megan.

I'm Megan. It was lovely to meet you. Nice to meet you. Megan from County Durham. Who's she from Durham? She was from Durham. The Palatinate itself? The very same.

The Palatinas County of Durham, the Palatinate County of Durham Land of the Prince Pritius. What does that mean that Palatina thing? It's basically means that we know the way some counties aren't palatinate. Yeah, all of the other ones. Yeah, Durham is Palatinate. Uh, okay. So it's got

Is it It's got a A lat in it Yes Yes Someone's house Screw you people's houses We need pubs for the pub game

We're off a dual carriage Right Oh What's that What is it Garniche I think that may have been A gastro restaurant type

Garniche That's not a pub name Is it? No We're recording in the car Is that a crime James Is it illegal

to podcast in a car. Because you're driving. But we're talking... Just to be clear, we don't have a driver. Yes. We're not on a tour bus. Well, we'll check, if you're hearing this, then it's not. Are you saying that you get away with a crime, it's not a crime?

I'm not going to put it out me incriminating myself. No. As recorded myself whilst driving. Well, let's just fictionalise a driver. So it's me and James in a carriage. Yeah. being drawn by Rudolfo

Yeah, Clive is more realistic Clive Rodolfo Clive Rodolfo His parents were Italian But they loved The work of Clive done Yes, huge fans of Dad's Army Yeah

And that song, Grandad I Love You Yes So, pick a little pace, Clive Or Rodolfo as I address you By your son now It can't be illegal To podcast and drive yet they

this is exactly the kind of thing they would want to stop James we're trying to get the truth out on the road trying to keep one step ahead of the authorities the thought police the pod police

the pod police listening and having opinions the podplod PC pod yes I see why they would want to stop this kind of fiery content.

It's too dangerous. Three zeros in a row in the pub game. You can't put that out. You can't do that. Yes, we can. We just did. So you can't play the pub game next. That's one of my favourite phrases on the internet. What Next?

Because What Next is invariably followed by some absolute bollocks that will never happen and has no connection with whatever happened before. Gay marriage, what next? An electric dog? They've already got... Yeah, they've already had

electric dogs and then the electric dogs all died. Yeah, we've lived... We've lived through the age of electric dog. The age of electric dog has passed. So, get on board, Grandpa. Hey, look, we're passing a Sherbaugh. Passing Sherbaugh... I don't want to edit this, but I want to keep going

until we get to a pub, but I can see the horizon at this point. And there are no pubs. I know this road and there are no pubs. There are no pubs. And we might go through Chippy and we might go past the place where Old Papa Baylis. Oh, I know we're going past a stone orb now. One of them stone orbs.

From previous friend of the show, a stone orb. This is us in real life together. In real life. Yeah, yeah. No, we've been in the same room for two years. And the last room was the shed. Not even really a room, is it, a shed? No.

Is it a building? It's just a shed. It is its own format. A shed is a shed. It's a shed is a shed. It's a shed's all the way. Bibery. We've definitely talked about Bibery.

No, we haven't. That's why I'm married. All right, I'm going to stop. notes of any of that will even be audible.