Loremen Podcast - Xmas Pig 2024 with Bethan Briggs-Miller!

Episode Date: December 29, 2024

To brighten these gloomy days between Xmas Pig and Plough Monday, we have another wonderful deputy loreperson! It's Bethan Briggs-Miller of Eerie Essex with an original (and porcine) method of dispersing youths. Plus a dark bit of Peppa Pig-lore that will chill you to your trotters. Check out the East Anglian Folklore Centre here. This episode was edited by Joseph Burrows - Audio Editor. LoreBoys nether say die! Support the Loremen here (and get stuff): patreon.com/loremenpod ko-fi.com/loremen Check the sweet, sweet merch here... https://www.teepublic.com/stores/loremen-podcast?ref_id=24631 @loremenpod youtube.com/loremenpodcast www.instagram.com/loremenpod www.facebook.com/loremenpod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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And to all a Christmas pig. And to all a big hog. I don't know if that's a Christmas pig one and all. And to all a Christmas pig. To all a big hog. I don't know if that's a Christmas pig saying, but we should make it one. It sounds very festive. We could have a group hog. A group hog. A group hog. Group hog. How many Christmas pigs have gone by without anyone saying group hog?

Two. Two. It was two. I was going to say too many and then I realised it was two. Too many and was two. I was going to say too many and then I realised it was two. Too many and also two. But I think with that brilliant pun, our guest has pre-introduced herself. Yes. Merry Christmas pig, Bethan Briggs Miller. Merry Christmas pig to you both. And a Christmas pig be also with you.

And your families. Bethan is of course the host of Eerie Essex and new string to your bow, arrow to your quiver. You're the director of the East Anglian Folklore Centre in Colchester. I'm a co-director so it's me and my friend Gemma who we've decided we're going to do it after saying after years we want to do it we just thought let's just do it so we did it. Nice one and that's in Colchester. Yeah anyone can come along and nerd out with us.

Well, thank you very much for joining us this Christmas Pig, Bethan. And I think, have you brought us a Christmas Pig tail to warm our little corkscrew tails? That's a new addition to the Christmas Pig law. That we're somehow we're, I think we're turning into pigs. OK. As every year goes on. A bit like the end of Animal Farm, but we're less the baddies.

We had too many pig puns last year. I don't know if I've got any left. I mean... A pen's worth of pig puns. Oi! I can't do puns, all right? Whenever James has a guest on with whom he can pun, it gets very punny and I just sort of sit twiddling my...

Sort of nod along. You're going to be the third wheel. Yeah. Well, set yourself, set yourself away. As they say in the North East. With your puns. I will, I will. I'm going to take you to Wales for this one. This is my big one, because I was excited about bringing you the Essex one, but apparently you've had it. I was excited to tell you all about how happily married couples

liked a bit of pork. Which story is that you're referencing? Yeah, that's the Dunmo flitch, which is an Essex one. I am Erie Essex, but actually before I go on to my Welsh one, I did look up this year's Dunmo flitch trial. Would you like to know what took place? But for the listener, James, would you do a quick recap? Because I was not on the episode that we're calling back to. And frankly, I don't listen to this podcast. So I have no idea what happened. It is what it is, is Mark from the folklore podcast came on and told us about the Dunmo Fitch, which is kind of a, I don't know, I can't remember exactly the origin because whilst this may have only come

out yesterday, I recorded it a couple of weeks ago, but it's basically, you've got to prove that you've not argued with your wife or husband for a full year. Was it more than a year? A year and a day. A year and a day. And if you can prove that, you get some bacon. Oh, okay. All right. From a pig? Not just some bacon. You get some bacon. Oh, okay. All right. From a pig?

Not just some bacon. You get a whole half of a pig. You get a full half a pig. In which way? Down the middle or lengthwise? Or top or bottom. Lengthwise. Or top or bottom. Lengthwise? Lengthwise. From snout to tail.

Oh, wow. Okay. So this episode hasn't even come out at the time that we're recording this. So I have a massive excuse for not having heard it. Not come out of the time recording, but to the listener, that'd be fresh in their memories. And they'll be shouting at their MP3 players, don't you remember the Dunmo Fitch? It's snout to tail, you fool. I don't know, listener. I haven't heard it. Please stop shouting at me in that weirdly old-fashioned voice. You fool, ABK. Don't you know the thing about the Dunmo Fitch?

I don't even know the name of it. I'm just making noises that sound like what you've said. Jeeves, Jeeves, take down this tweet. It's Mr. ABK. Don't you know, all caps. Yeah, I was excited as well because there were four shakeshafts in it and one of my scoring was going to be how many shakeshafts. So yeah, Alistair, what happened was there was basically some of the recorded winners of the Dunwo Fitch are shakeshafts. They've got the Sir Thomas shakeshaft, was it? It was Thomas, Anne, and Ethel, and Albert.

Ethel, classic, classic Shake Shaf name. Well, this year, I mean, it sounded, it sounded a really good thing this year. I mean, so this year's activities included everything that you would have on a bingo sheet if you were going to have something for a country fair in England. Oh yeah. They had tractors. Yes. Nice bit of tractors.

A fun dog show. A fun dog show. Yeah, not just any dog show. This was fun. Because I've met some dogs that are real pills, real wet blankets. Get this unfun dog away from the show. You're bringing down the other dogs. Was there a dangerous dog show?

I hope not. Well, it wasn't on the list. There was a beer tent and a Pym's tent. So obviously two very different tents for very different people. Class divisions need to be in place during a fair. You don't want the Pym's folk and the beer folk mixing. All the fun dogs and the unfun dogs keep them apart. Well, there was Morris Men. Who need to be kept separate from the clog dancers. Penny Farthing Men. Who need to be kept separate from the clog dancers.

Penny Farthings. Who need to be kept separate from normal bikes. Exactly. I'll forgo my wonderful Essex tail and take you back to Wales, if that's alright. Yeah, let's go. I was on social media and I just saw a map of the uninhabited regions of Wales. So it was a map of Wales and they put a dot for every square kilometre where there are no buildings. And it shows just how much of Wales

has nobody living in it. And then I thought, I might just compare that map to a topographical map of Wales. And essentially, it's mountains. It is. It's the reason that nobody lives in those. Welsh people are too lazy to live on Snowdonia, basically, is what I discovered. We are so lazy. Well, I mean, it should have been obvious. Welsh people are famous for living in valleys, but I really think that quite a lot of people live in valleys and very few people live on mountains. It's just quite a bumpy country.

It's not really Welsh people's fault they don't live in those bits. It's the valleys where it all goes on. Yeah, that's where the action is. We don't like the sun. We want to hide from the sun. We want a mountain to block it out. Well, good news. There's loads of them in the middle of the country. So I got this story from a dictionary of British folklore customs by Christ in a Hole. It's Christ in a Hole! In a Hole!

I'm trying to make the chants a bit more football-y in honor of your folklore center. Yeah, indeed. Get one of those ratchet, raka-taka-taka-taka, raka-taka-taka-taka-taka things that they used to have in the 1920s. That sounds like Jack Black's joined the podcast. Oh, that would be fun. But no, this is just Christina. So this is a story about the Huchdu Guta, which is Welsh for the black tailless sow.

It's a sow without a black tail. So I don't know what's so scary about it being tailless. So is there a tail here or not? We'll find out. Jason Vale So this took place at Halloween. So I tried desperately to find a Christmas pig story in Wales, unfortunately came a bit short, but different Halloween pig. And this is the story now. So around this time of year in Wales, great quantities of straw, gorse and thornwood were carried up to the hilltops and then set a light at dusk. And they had potatoes and apples roasting, the people were dancing and like singing around

the fire and like the younger folk would leap through it, which all sounds lovely, doesn't it? Yeah. Can I just check with those? Was that fun pig dancing? It was. Yeah. And again, I don't want any of those angry pigs. Well, actually, no, no, you may have just like, you know, led me into the next bit now because... Have I blown this pig wide open? Which is a horrible image. I apologise.

You've blown this pig wide open. You're only supposed to cut them from the nose to snout, James. Yeah, James. You're only supposed to blow the bloody chops off. No, wait, from nose to snout. That's much better. I got really confused about what the parts of a pig are called and I said from nose to snout, which is a really short walk for a pig.

Yeah, that's just a flesh wound. I mean, you know, there's snout going on here, but... Nice, nice. Yeah, sorry. Yeah, that was a bit of a lag there. I didn't think you got it. No, it just took me a while to work it out. Get my butler to tweet angrily about it. The end of the ceremony was usually a headlong flight down the hill to escape the great, tailless, black sow, the terror of Halloween. Once the flames died down, all fled, shouting,

The black sow and the headless white lady will try and catch the last to leave. Thieves abound, knitting stockings, beware the tailors black sow on winter eve." It's quite a mouthful to be shouting as you're running down the hill. Yeah, what were the thieves doing? The thieves knitting black stockings? Yeah, apparently. All right. Those thieves. Those thieves. Do you hang up black stockings in, it's like a Halloween Christmas thing in Halloween? Oh yeah.

In Wales? It depends how close to the fire you hang the stockings, they may become black with the smoke. But this pig was supposed to emerge from the ashes straight from the underworld and would prey upon the unwary down the hill and then would wait at stiles for people who were like lingering about and didn't go home. And there was another poem, the black short-tailed sow on a stile spinning and weaving, weaving again on Nos Galangayef, hurry home, ee-hook-doo-goo-ta will get the last. So it's basically like a way to get everyone home a bit quicker.

It's all a bit- And knitting. You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here. Yes. Basically like a way to get everyone home a bit quicker. It's all a bit... And knitting. You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here. Yes. It's a bit ding, ding, ding, ding. The tail-less black sow has been released. It's not clear what it does, but you should leave.

Yeah. Like some pubs used to just play like really annoying music at the end of the night and flip the lights on. Well, you know, when the YMCA came on at a party, then the lights came up. It was probably time to go. Get out of here. But if they'd released a pig. If they'd released a tailless sow, I would have dropped my knitting then and there and run. Do you take the knitting or leave it? I don't know. I mean, if it's a warning,

it's very lax in its instructions. It's almost like the sow wants to catch people. It's almost like the people want to be caught by the sow too. It's a warning. It's very lax in its instructions. It's almost like the sow wants to catch people. It's almost like the people want to be caught by the sow too. It's a bit of... Mmm. Mmm. A bit chase me, chase me. Mmm. Oh no.

Oh no, I've fallen. Oh, I'm lingering by a stile. James, are you lingering coyly by a stile? But I've yet to finish this stocking. Casting glances over your shoulder, James. Shame on you. Don't you know it's Halloween, the Christmastiest time of the year? I've just got this walking around spinning to do. Spinning and weaving.

Stop spinning and weaving. Go home. The white lady that they mentioned in both poems is associated with Kerrid Wen of medieval Welsh poetry and she was the keeper of the cauldron of life and the underworld. The cauldron from the Black Cauldron? Not from the Black Cauldron. Well, I don't know. I haven't seen the Black Cauldron in years, but apparently she came out and was like, this sounds fun. I'm going to follow

this pig. Fair enough. As you would. You'd be like, I want to see how this plays out. So she's just in the pig's entourage. Yes, she's the pig's entourage. The pig does have other entourage with it sometimes, but where this particular thing was recorded, it was just the white lady. Headless white lady. I think we should probably.

Oh yeah? Well, you know, I always like to bring headless animals to the table. Yes. And a human is one of them animals. I did find out what happens if the pig catches you. Go on. It's not going to be knitting. No, they were said to crush the bones of any person that crossed its path,

seize their souls and carry them back to the underworld. And even if you get back, your bones have been crushed. Hmm. Yeah. Even if you get your soul back. So that's like taking the tires off your car, even if you can make it back from the underworld. It's like, oh, my bones have been crushed. Gelatinous mass. So there wasn't really, I mean, we, you know, I don't want to incur the wrath of the pig in case it does exist, but you know, mostly this pig wouldn't turn up.

So one of the local men would just grab a spare pigskin. That makes it sound like they've got loads lying around. And then we'd chase the kids down the hill. Just going to pop this pigskin on for a sec, chase some children. One of our surplus pigskins. But then with the industrial revolution and mining coming to the area, a lot of these customs died out. But I did find a group online that wants to revitalize this and have it back again. So you never know. You might see a red-eyed,

black pig running down the hill. Will Barron They've decided to revitalise the Poresign child murder ceremony. Jason Vale Yeah, they're crushing people's bones at styles. Will Barron The bone crushing? Angela Sillis Yeah. Will Barron And they're dragging to hell? Let's bring it back!

Angela Sillis Yeah. Will Barron Tradition. Angela Sillis It's very true. Will Barron What Brexit was for. Jason Vale Those teenagers that linger on the corners knitting. Let's bring it back. Tradition. It's very true. That's what Brexit was for. Those teenagers that linger on the corners knitting. When the mosquito noise doesn't work anymore, get the pig skins on you and steal their souls. Is that the high pitch noise they play that only unruly teens can hear?

Yeah. I don't know if they still do it, but yeah. I don't think that was a good idea. I'm skeptical of it. But I've gotten to the age where I can't know if they still do it, but yeah. I don't think that was a good idea. I'm skeptical of it, but. I've gotten to the age where I can't hear it. I do, yeah, a pig that's threatening to steal your soul and take a tail and crush all your bones is probably quite effective.

I think maybe they should set up youth clubs instead of the pig. But if we aren't gonna do that, let's do the pig. Yeah, I mean, yeah, you could look to the cause of the problem, or you could fight, grab one of the surplus pig skins and chase the teens around. Fair enough. Fair enough. Now that you've presented the choices to me clearly, let's go with the pig.

This is actually from a book of Welsh fairy tales, although it takes place in Ireland. So this is by P.H. Emerson and P and an H. It's P.H. Emerson. P.H. Emerson. And P and an H, it's P.H. Emerson. P.H. Femerson. Or Femerson, yeah. Femerson. I'm sorry. I feel like I've misgendered Tim, but I haven't. Femerson.

No. So this couple had just been, just got married and so he was a soldier and he got billeted around different places. And one of the places they ended up was in Dublin and they went to stay with a pork butcher. Can you see where this is going? Mm. Oh yeah. But what, yeah, anyway, what happened? What happened to this soldier?

We need to know what happened to the soldier and the butcher, the specifically pig butcher. It's a specific, yeah, he deals in nothing else. He is specifically pig. And it wasn't actually him. It was his mother that told this story. they're all having dinner and she was like she decided she was gonna spin a yarn for these newlyweds who are just like you know arrived at their house and she said and that she had seen the Fay Folk and when in bed there was a

bright light that entered the room and they danced all over her bed and played and sang music and it was so beautiful that she just lay there and didn't want it to end. But they did eventually disappear. But then in came a smaller light and suddenly a tall man came up to her bed with something in his hand, tapped her on the temple and scratched across her forehead and then he went. And in the morning when she woke up, her pillow was covered in blood and she did have a cut across her forehead. But this is a story she made up or is this something she actually experienced? No, no, no. She said it as the God's honest truth.

Oh, I see. When you said spin the yarn, I thought you meant that she was inventing it. I did. Sorry, I didn't first she made it up. I just meant it was a good story that happened and she wanted to tell these. Oh, well, I was super relaxed because I thought it wasn't true. But now I realized that the creepy tall man actually approached. Well tense up Alastair. It's going to get worse from here. What?

I thought that was the end. Well, no, it's not actually. You've heard the worst bit. Oh, okay. No, no, no. Well, she tried to think what had happened. What was she done to like, cause such like wrath. And she remembered earlier that day, she had moved the pig trough into a different position.

Classic error. And she thought she must have put it in their path and the man was the fairy king punishing her. She moved it back and received no more visits. Proof if proof be need be. Yeah, exactly. So don if proof be need be. Yeah, exactly. Don't move a trough. Well, you move it, but don't pop it in the path of the phase. How would you know though? I mean, that's a bit harsh. They don't exactly have like, you know, lines on the floor, yellow lines. Don't put it here. Lay lines? Well, yellow lines, I was thinking, you know,

don't park it here. Fairies need access. Or yeah, a red route, a double red route for fairies. That would explain those gates where it says, gates in constant use, which I've never seen open. Because I'm always like, well, they're not in constant use, are they? I think you mean regular or frequent use, not constant use. A gate in constant use is just a gap. Unless you can't see them. Unless it's being used by the Fay Folk. Yes. So that's how you know.

I did find something else as well, randomly, that tickled me. I did find out an urban legend involving Supernatural Pig. Go on. That's not widely known. So do your children watch Peppa Pig, James? No, not anymore. It's been banned. What's wrong with Peppa Pig? Did you know? Well, Peppa Pig has a ghost.

Really? They're on about the fifth Peppa now. Have the other Peppers just aged out and actually died of old age by this point? This ghost has its own name, PLG-31, and it's appeared twice in the episodes and no one has accounted ever drawing it. It's just appeared in the episode. So the first time it appeared was in a family photo that was in the episode, the pig family. So the whole family are outside the house, but in the window is a little pig face looking out, looking mournful. I've actually got to shiver up my spine from that. Well, the second time was in a city in one of the episodes and it was

wearing black clothes and had glowing eyes and it was in the background staring at the family and it's become such a like a thing online. There's fan fiction about it. I'm not sure a family friendly podcast can dip too deeply into the well of fan fiction. Oh no, it's all quite, you know, there's nothing risque in it. It's more like, well, it's kind of dark. It's like before Pepper was born, they had another child that died and it's haunting the house. Jason Vale Right. This has got vibes of, is it three men

and a baby with the ghost? Supposedly in the background of one of the shots. Kate McHugh Her little brother George has an imaginary friend. So I think they weave that into the fan fiction that he's seeing the dead sibling. I'm on the pepperfanon.fandom.com wiki, the Peppa Pig wiki. Are you a Peppa head now, James? Peppa Pig as it's own wiki, yeah.

And I mean- Are you fully Peppa Pilled? Yeah, I've taken the Peppa, I've taken the Peppa Pill. The pink pill. You've gone down the Peppa Pilled? Yeah, I've taken the Peppa Pilled. The pink pill. You've gone down the Peppa Rabbit hole. Yes, I've gone down the Pig Rabbit hole. Pig hole. The pig hole.

And it includes a picture and the caption for the picture is that only photograph of the ghost. And the photograph is a screenshot of a cartoon. The photograph is a screenshot of a cartoon. The photograph is a screenshot of a cartoon. Well, look, I don't want to be... I hate playing the role of the scully, kind of the hot redhead skeptic, but that is why I'm here on the podcast. That is who I am. I don't think this is very mysterious.

Someone drew a pig in the window is the explanation for it. It's a cartoon. Things don't happen by accident in cartoons like that. Like, in Three Men and a Baby, like you say, James, the ghost that people think they're seeing is a cardboard cutout that appears earlier in the film that has just been forgotten about and half behind a curtain. But I just think this is a little anime to having a little joke on the kids by drawing scary faces. Indeed.

I brought it in as an urban legend, which is a modern folktale. No, oh no, it's valid. I mean, by the standards of things we've had on this podcast, it's cast iron fact. Yeah. But I just like the fact like this fan fiction and like people are talking about it on like, you know, Reddit and things. It's like, oh bless. And now James is, we've lost James.

He's come out the rabbit hole. I'm too scared. I'm too scared. Come back to the light, James. Don't follow the white pig rabbit. That's terrifying. Do you think you'll ever go back to normal life, James, now? I don't think I can now I've seen such things. Three years have gone since you went there. Three Christmas pigs have passed. Three years have gone since you went there. Three Christmas pigs have passed. We thought you'd never return. We went on without you. The piglets are all sows and whatever that bores now. Is it bores? I can't remember. I weirdly don't know enough about pigs.

You should know more about pigs by this point, James. The way it works is if the mum is a pig and the dad is a frog, then the male offspring will be frogs and the female offspring pigs. Yes. In a flash forward. As my pitch Christmas Carol has taught us. My pitch Christmas pig Carol. Yeah, that was it. Sorry, Carol. I'm too scared by that Peppa Pig stuff now to carry on. You're going to have nightmares, aren't you?

Christmas Pig, anyone? Yeah, I am going to have nightmares actually. Do you know the playground song about Peppa Pig? Is there? Do you know the playground song? I don't. I've heard this, this is crossed county lines. My kids have sung it.

And then we went to see some friends who live in a different county and were like, do you know the Peppa Pig song? And they sang it exactly. It's like, it's on the playground telegraph. It's Peppa Pig tripped on a wire. Now he's on fire. Bacon scripts. And that's kind of the song. What? Bacon scripts? Well, in our school, evidently it's bacon scripts. In other ones, it's bacon strips, which you can see how it might have been misheard and mistranslated. Yeah. Bacon strips makes a bit more sense to me. What's a bacon script? Like a token you get?

They can't tell me. They can't tell me. You can exchange for bacon at a later date. What kind of economy are you running there? They can't tell me no matter how much I ask them. They can't or won't. It sounds to me like they've been sworn to pig secrecy. Maybe. Yeah, maybe it's part of the playground code. Well, thank you very much, Beth. And that was some wonderful Christmas piggery. And so people can find you on Eerie Essex, the podcast, and they can find that in all the places that they find podcasts, you know, down a well in some bushes or the internet. That's where podcasts live.

The interweb, yeah. And, but they can also physically visit your other project that you're co-director of. Yeah, they can in Colchester, but we're also, I mean, I don't know when this episode's coming out, but on the 14th of December. Christmas Pig. Christmas Pig. We've got online storytelling. Search for the East Anglia Folklore Centre on YouTube.

Just pop it into YouTube and Google it. Yeah. It'll be on our website as well. Nice one. So we've got about 10 different storytellers. So that should be good. Excellent. I went quiet there for a while because I was trying to think of pig based puns

for all of our names and it required going into a meditative state. Oh, right. I'm not happy with what I've come up with. I've come up with James Squeak Shaft or James Shakes Ham. Doesn't neither of those, Beth and Pigs Miller. Very easy. That one's, that was, that's a given really. That's very, That's too easy.

And Alistair Bacon King. Very nice. Oh, you're the Bacon King as well. I'm the King of Bacon. And that took me all of that time to think of, and it's probably been edited down. It will have been edited down, but... It'll have been edited down a lot. Believe me, listener, that took over to Christmas pigs. Christmas pink 2022.