Love Life with Matthew Hussey - 110: Decoding Your Most Confusing Texts From Men

Episode Date: May 7, 2021

"What does he mean when he texts THIS?" In today's episode, Matt and Steve sit down live to discuss YOUR most confusing texts and what they really mean! --- Follow Matt @thematthewhussey Follow Stephen @stephenhhussey --- Join us on our virtual retreat on March 19-21! Go to MHVirtualRetreat.com and spend a magical 3 days with us transforming your confidence and relationships... --- Also, we love to hear from you! You can email the show at [e-mail]

That's the part we have to stop. It's like take back power for creating. What frame of reference do you want to create? And if someone's doing something that doesn't fit into that frame, then either call it out or don't engage with it or create the frame you want and see if they conform to that frame. Hello and welcome back to the podcast show podcast love life with me Stephen Hussey and the one the only the face of the Matthew Hussey channel. It's Matthew Hussey, everyone.

Not just the face of the Matthew Hussey channel, the face of the person, Matthew Hussey. Yeah, the face that belongs to the brand, the Matthew Hussey. I'm starting to want to get away from this whole Matthew Hussey thing, because I don't like the fact that I've become a like I want it just couldn't it I want to reduce it to just Hussey Because it sort of could be any of us. Oh, I thought it's like you want to be like Madonna Just just the Hussey just now it's not that I just don't I don't like that I've you know, your name starts to, you know, that idea of semantic satiation

when you say a word so much it loses its meaning. Sure. That's what happens to my name when people, you know, you refer to me as the Matthew Hussey brand. I start to lose any meaning. You say it too much. Yeah. Well, welcome everyone.

For those of you who don't already listen to our podcast, we are filming it live today on YouTube, something we have never done. The Love Life podcast has never been live on YouTube. No, we had a chat on YouTube, but this is genuine recording of our podcast right now, which you can listen to on iTunes, Spotify, and Stitcher if you search for the Love Life podcast.

And subscribe to the YouTube so you never miss these. Obviously subscribe to the YouTube. Subscribe to the YouTube and hit the notification bell, and then you'll never complain. Because I don't think we're going to keep this up on the feed. We're going to get rid of this on the feed. So if you're watching this right now, don't go anywhere because you are, I believe, we had a discussion with the team this week,

we're just going to do these live. We're not going to keep them up as these big, chunky content pieces on the feed. So if you're here, stay here. Don't go anywhere because it won't be here tomorrow. And Harry, I noticed the thumbnail on the live is an old one. Can we replace that or is that a next time thing? Yes, I'll get right on it. We've got a trio of Hussies in the room.

We've got Harry Hussey in the tech room, which is the corner over there. How are you doing, sir? Oh, I'm very good. I started to believe that it wasn't possible to get you two in the same room for one of these. Well, I'm back in London. That's why we're in the same room.

I feel this is becoming a bit like the Baldwin's, where there's like more of them, or the Wahlbergs, but it's like another Hussey over there. like more of them or the Wahlberg's. Right. But it's like another hussy over there. Yeah. I'm not saying we're as big as those, but I'm just saying.

Definitely not. I'm just saying. We haven't invented a burger chain yet. No, sure. Well, welcome, everyone. We're actually going to do something fun today on the show. We're going to talk about your texts. We did a post on Instagram and Facebook saying tell us your most confusing

text you've ever got. And Matt, it was a veritable stew of strangeness, candidness. You said there were like 4,000 responses. That's mad.

Yeah. And there are some themes and that's kind of what i want to bring to you i want you you know you did that famous video where you translate what he means what he says and what he actually means i thought we could maybe do this with some of these texts and you could say gut instinct you get that text what's he really thinking in that let's do it confusing texts decoded okay so i i kind of there's kind of different categories here but i guess the best place to start is what was with what was undoubtedly the most popular one okay by the way i for, for the people listening, I have not...

There's been no prior revealing of these to me. You've prepped for this, but I don't know what you're going to say. So let's see. I'm curious about first responses to these. Okay, this is the most popular, probably for a good reason. This is from Teacupizzle.

Teacupizzle. The text is. I can't wait to see you again. Followed by. Immediately ghosting me. And I. Don't know what that says. That that has. That has like 700 likes.

Oh God. But I'm not laughing. In a mean way. I just think. It's like. Dating's. Annoying isn't it. Yeah.

Yeah. Dating is annoying. isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. Dating is annoying. I think that has so many likes because that basically sums up how people feel about modern dating. Yeah. I can't. But it's not just the like, it was great seeing you. It wasn't just a polite. No.

Like, I had a nice time. Yeah. From someone who's worried you might be hurt. It's literally proactively showing excitement for the next time you're going to see them. Yeah. And then ghosting them. It's, I mean,

is that someone who's overdoing it after the date? I can't wait to see you again. I think that, well, okay, so here's how I would, it's very hard to speak to someone's intentions, but here's what you can say.

People say things in states of elation, passion, loneliness, a moment of validation seeking that make them say heightened things if i'm lonely and i am in need then i'm more likely to say something passionate to you to elicit the response that i need in order to feel good about myself and in that sense it it's partially about you to the extent that you're the chosen recipient of that. You're the target of my neediness or my loneliness or my just, you know, existential dread, whatever, in that moment. So in that sense, it's a compliment.

They could have chosen someone else to do that with, but they've chosen you. But it's not fully about you. It's about something they need in that moment that text someone might say i keep thinking about you it's like that might be true but it doesn't signal intent i could say i keep thinking about you but never ask you out yeah do anything like we said like we've said a million times attention is not intention right and that someone saying i can't wait to see you again might be said in a moment of passion or elation or loneliness right which is why you have to be very careful not to measure the spikes and take the spikes in what someone says too seriously but take the consistency of what they do seriously so you know okay they said I can't wait to

see you again by the way there's no problem in mirroring that if you feel the same way right so mirror it in the moment someone says I can't wait to see you again say I feel the same way you don't have to say more than that right you can meet him or her where he is right and i think that's a key concept in texting meet them where they are for sure so don't they go here and then you go here you know i can't wait to see you again me neither i was thinking that we could meet my parents this saturday yeah like there's one strip of blue on this and then yours is a paragraph exactly like match them mirror and match but someone says i can't wait to see you again if you genuinely feel the

same way then say i feel the same way but it doesn't have to be oh my god i'm so glad you said that i was feeling that but i didn't know if i should say it whatever now you're not meeting him where he is right he says i can't wait to see you again. You say, I feel the same way. That's it. Doesn't even need an exclamation mark. Yeah. I feel the same way. You can be understated about it. Maybe a smiley face. Yeah. But you communicated we're on the same page. But does the page turn? Tomorrow, does he actually back that up by asking you to do something? Or the next day or the next day? If he doesn't, then you have your answer about the intent, even if the attention was misleading.

What's next? So next one, can I? There's some that are what I think of as screenplay texts they sound like something a line from a movie okay i'm looking forward to can i can i'm gonna text you one right now okay and by the way while steven is texting me this i'm checking out some of the comments some people saying please upload this later um i don't believe we are uploading it later so if you're enjoying this and you want to hear more of these confusing texts stay with us this is not going to be uploaded to YouTube afterwards we literally had a

team agreement about that a couple of days ago I suppose it could change but as of right now this isn't going to be uploaded all right I've just text you man read out the text. I don't love you right now, but I love you. Was that a popular one? A lot of people like that in the... Yeah, yeah. So when... Because again, for the listeners out there,

we posted these on... We posted this question. What's the most confusing text you've received? It's had 300 likes on Instagram. 300 likes for this one. I don't know if they're just going, oh, that's a good line. That sounds like something from As Good As It Gets

or an Albert Brooks movie. Well, I've heard, I feel like I've heard an iteration of this. Imagine this in like When, when Harry met Sally. I don't love you right now, but I love you. That's a line. But I feel like I've heard this before of, I don't like you right now, but I love you.

Yeah. Which makes it less confusing. I would say this is the more confusing version of that text. Right. I don't like you right now, but I love you. Because that's saying you're like really pissing me off right now. Yeah. You're annoying me or you've upset me.

You're a nightmare, but I love you. Yeah, I don't like you, but I love you. Right now, I don't like you, but I love you. I don't love you right now, but I love you. It's a bit more confusing. That is it. I think 300 people have liked that because it's confusing.

Yeah, that's genuinely... I think that's a guy who's not... That's not... I would argue that that's someone who's not crafted very good. If they were going for something like a line that was going to make a distinction, like to...

Really, what are you trying to say with that? You're trying to say, I'm annoyed at you. There's something you've done that I don't like, but I still love you, and I want you to feel secure in my feelings for you. Yeah. I just don't think it's delivered very well. Or it's saying, like, I really think the world of you,

but I'm not in love. I'm not passionately in love with you. I don't love you right now. Because you could be saying something like, I love you as a person, but I'm not in love i'm not passionately in love with you i don't love you right now because you could be saying something like i love you as a person but i'm not in love with you right well if that's the case you get out of there yeah i mean if someone's saying that by text if someone says i don't love you right now but i love you and what they're trying to say is i'm not i don't i'm not in love with you but i love you then you leave. Because that's someone who is going to absolutely break your heart. Because you'll hold on to the hope of, but he said he loves me.

And what's really going on is he's trying to maintain this image of being the good person. And by the way, it might be true. You can love someone and not be in love with them. But that person is going to make you really, really unhappy. And that person is going to break your heart. So if someone's saying, I just don't feel in love with you or I'm not, I don't love you, but I love you. It's like, well, it doesn't really matter that you love. If you don't want to be here, you loving me doesn't matter.

I think that in general, whenever anyone says to you as they're breaking up with you, like, I really, really you that's okay it doesn't make it not true i'm not being cynical about that but it doesn't it's not helpful it's not like that's of no consequence is it yeah you telling me you love me at the same time as breaking up with me okay what do you want me to do with that that's gonna keep me warm tonight yeah it doesn't matter so don't hold on to do with that? That's going to keep me warm tonight? Yeah. It doesn't matter. So don't hold on to the hope that someone still loves you when they're telling you they don't want to be with you. Yeah. Then it's truly time to move on.

What's our next text? I like the fact that we're getting through these. Next text is... Oh, there's too many choices. Okay. many choices um okay this one actually might just be honest but not not the best thing to say victoria you are too successful and too intelligent for me to ever steve just hold on in the text quote you are too successful and too intelligent for me to ever feel comfortable around you and in a way that might be straight up honest he's kind of laid out where he's at there for him to ever feel comfortable yeah around her yeah yeah i mean i think you've got to say fair enough in a way the least confusing one yet well look that's doing one of two things it's either it's either absolutely

honest or a massive cop out yes or it's a really like a a compliment exit it's a weaselly way yeah it's like i'm not feeling it so i going to make this about how wildly amazing and intelligent you are. Right. You know, you're so intelligent, you're so successful. Oh, it's just too much for me. It's like a savvy exit. Steve, when I was 16 and I went and tried to get a job at Dale Carnegie, the boss there told me, he asked me all of the things that I wanted to do with my life.

And I was like, oh, I want to write books and I want to do this and I want to do that, whatever. And he said to me, young man, I think by being here, if we gave you a job, we would just be slowing you down. He wasn't going to give me a job. Like if I turned around and said, no, you're not. I want to be here. He would have had to go. There's no job for you here but he gave me the compliment let down

what he was saying is you arrogant little shit get out of my office and don't come back exactly but he put that through the Dale Carnegie filter you know what I mean you say that into a Dale Carnegie megaphone and what comes out the other end is

young man I feel like by giving you a job we would just be slowing you down and I went you're right and I walked out feeling good coming up to I don't know 17-ish years on from that was he right I think in fairness it's possible he may have slowed me down but but he didn't know that right he did not know that yeah he just was trying to get me out of his office but so i look it's possible that that is just a guy who is like when a guy says oh you're too well also though when a guy's saying to a woman you're too intimidating or you're you know what you do is intimidating i think there's it's not not true but it doesn't mean all men are intimidated right i sometimes i i hate the fact that it then gets

labeled that all men are intimidated by yeah the leap becomes that no man wants a successful intelligent woman right right yeah which is ridiculous and i also think i'm not i i want to be really careful with this point because i do think a lot of women just by being as strong and as independent as they naturally are are intimidating to me so i'm not make that is true and that's not the woman's fault that's our fault as men right for you know having such fragile egos and our cultural conditioning that teaches us we're not worthy if we're not successful and providing this and that. There's a whole bunch of societal cultural things in there, too. But I do think sometimes the reason we hear the same thing over and over again is because we're wearing it too heavily up front uh you know i if i constantly go into every room i don't know whatever is my biggest strength if i go in talking about that all the time then that sort of becomes my identity i like taking

the things that make me impressive and having them having them announce themselves a little later yeah and start by just making someone else feel special yeah but i'm not suggesting that's what's going on in this text when he says you're too successful and intelligent for me to ever feel comfortable around i'd go okay i don't know what to say to that yeah i really like you and i think you're great but if if that's how you feel i i don't know what to say yeah what's next um okay another again this is also just painfully honest but i wanted to say it because it's funny rebecca his text said she put real just before it to say this is real oh okay she quote i wanted to be honest with you, always, so I may hire a prostitute tonight,

but that doesn't change you and me together, does it? That's not, no, it's not real. She says it's real. It's not real. It's not real. She says it's real. I wanted to be honest with you always. So.

Not quite. And as well, I may. I may. No, no, no. That's not the best bit. Like I'm thinking about ordering a pizza and hiring a roster. I haven't even. I've potentially given you this image of me for something.

I might not even want to do i might actually decide just to sit and watch lost instead like my god so but the funniest part to me is the last line that doesn't change you and me together, does it? That's the funniest part. Because it's one thing to be like, if this man has just got this like radical candor approach to life, which is like a very few fanatics. There aren't many of them. No. But if you take the view that I'm just going for radical candor in my love life, then you, I suppose, would be honest about that but

if he's then the assumption it's the assumption that but we'll be all right won't we yeah i don't it's not going to change i've got to know to know what is the context and the nature of this relationship prior to this. If he thinks this doesn't change the relationship, what is the relationship? Like, what have they been experiencing together so far? Yeah. I mean, the fact she's saying it, she thinks it's insane that he's done it. So the fact that she's putting it to us. I feel like she's being

somehow punked it's some debt is some dating reality show they're like how honest can you be and still keep someone yeah and and that like she's part of that experiment there's one more of these ludicrously honest ones and this also sounds like someone who's like one of those maybe like hyper rationalist people who has decided if i just be absolutely straight 100 of the time that's sort of like an efficient way to live yeah but they've said uh i loved our first date and wanted to let you know that i'm most comfortable with maybe texting one to two times a week with possibly having sex every 10 days she says huh yes that was a real text no Steve that can't be a real text the wonderful thing about that is and and some of these are actually revealing this like

some people aren't confusing. You've said this before. People tell you. They don't even just show you who they are. Some people tell you who they are really, really quickly, and it's not confusing. You just have to realise you've been given a lifeline right there, and you must never

entertain the bullshit again. It is funny that that was listed in a response to our question. Can you put your most confusing texts below? But that's one thing I do. That does not qualify as confusing. I find that interesting because I think on some level, some people do get lost in like analyzing what does he want?

Why would he say that? What does he mean? Like he's that why would he what does he mean like he's when he's literally saying he's basically he's essentially telling her the time of day he possibly wants to have sex and how many literally a measurement on the number of texts a week and the the question behind it is but what does it mean. What is he really looking for? Yeah. I mean, at that point, you have to ask yourself, why am I confused? What's confusing about this to me? And why is it that I'm making this a confusing thing? This is not, and we don't have to go that extreme, by the way, to know that, do we? No.

Like we can go to just a situation where someone pops up now and again for a bit of attention. And someone says to you, someone says, what does he really want? I mean, it couldn't be more. If you forget the words and just take a bird's eye view of this situation and how much effort is being put in and when the effort is being put in and how sporadic the effort is and how there's no particular pattern to the effort. You don't need to sit there and are like, this is so confusing. It's not confusing. This person is clearly not trying to move the ball forward in this relationship. That's not confusing, but we confuse things that are so bloody simple. And it's worth asking the question, I mean,

maybe we could do this at the end of this, but why, why do we confuse things that on the face are so simple? But before we do that, Steve, let's get to another text, because these are great. All right, I'll give you a... Oh, this is... I reckon this is common. I reckon this is common. This isn't a silly one. When they give status updates via text, I'm making vegetable soup, I'm driving to the farm, and these keep coming, but they never ask you out.

What the F? Yeah. Well, we just talked about this, right? It's a lack of progression. What you're looking for, and we have an entire program about this called the Momentum Texts, right? Like if you go to our website, howtogettheguide.com, there's a program on the programs page called the momentum texts. The reason I created that program was literally to show people how to move the ball forward in texting, right? And by the way, I don't think texting is that important. It's just another means of communication, right? But a lot is illustrated. When I hear stuff like this, I hear all of the reasons why people aren't progressing

because I see the things they're not doing. And I think texts are a fun vehicle to illustrate principles of communication in dating that can actually help people go from something that's casual to something that's committed. Or if you're in a pattern right now of consistently being casual with someone and you want to be more committed, you want someone to commit, the momentum texts show you, whether you use them by text or by phone, it doesn't really

matter. You can use them in conversation, but they show you the language of what gives you momentum and why it gives you momentum, why it works. And if you look at why for a lot of people, they have this, you know, he texts me and says, I, you know, I'm making soup. But why does he never ask me out? Part of the answer is because you're allowing this dynamic to continue. I'm not saying it's her fault that he's being this way, but it's your fault if that dynamic never progresses or dies. At a certain point, we further a dynamic. that dynamic never progresses or dies. Right? At a certain point, we further a dynamic.

We perpetuate a dynamic. And if it's not progressing or dying, it's because you've got it on life support when it shouldn't be. And that, when someone's saying to you... Yeah, you're like, damn it, I don't want to lose this thing.

Yeah, so you're like, yeah, exactly. What kind of soup is it? You're constantly trying to like, oh, there's a flutter of the heart. The heart's still beating. Okay, let me feed into this dynamic. And then you feed into the exact dynamic you want to stop. You know, I'd say like, I'd either make a joke of it. I'm a big fan of being playful, right?

Like someone says I'm making soup. And you'd be like, that's, you know, that sounds delicious. Send me a picture. And they send you a picture of the soup. And you're like, you know what's even more delicious than vegetable soup? Vegetable soup on a date. You know, like, like make light of it, but expose the elephant in the room. Yeah, yeah.

So that's one way of doing it. But we're so afraid of like, we, here's the the one of the big problems in life is we buy into other people's dynamic yes yeah absolutely like we allow them to control the frame that's the part we have to stop is like take back power for create what frame of reference do you want to create? And if someone's doing something that doesn't fit into that frame, then either call it out or don't engage with it or create the frame you want and see if they conform to that frame. But don't keep buying into the frame that they create.

Here's my metaphor, Matt. People who do that, they're playing like the third cellist in the orchestra instead of going to the conductor thing and going, ah, second trombone is slacking, not doing anything.

Replace. Next one. Put someone else in there. I control this. Ah, the music's not going the way I want. There's a lull. Okay, let's redirect. I need a new orchestra. None of this is working music's not going the way I want. There's a lull. Okay, let's redirect. I need a new orchestra. None of this is working for me.

All of you are fired. It's not having a go at cellists, Steve. You could play the cello, but if you're going to play the cello, be Yo-Yo Ma. Does Yo-Yo Ma play the cello? I think he does, doesn't he? Yo-Yo Ma plays the cello. That's his thing. I mean, honestly, I think Yo-Yo Ma

plays probably more than one instrument. You're entirely correct. Yeah, he's probably the most famous cellist in the world. This is exposing big holes in my culture. Anyway, Yo-Yo Ma is the rock star of cellists. If you're going to play the bloody cello, be the rock star of cellists. I like Bach. Not around anymore, but he had hits.

This is such a... Composer, not a cellist. Surely. Ah, Bach. Bach did a lot of cello compositions. Fair enough. They have a non sequitur. I'm going to say here on the show, I'm nearly 100% Bach played the cello. Fair enough. The man was a musical genius. I don't think anyone was

disputing it. All you Bach fans out there, that's a real crossover. The YouTube audience and Bach fans. I know this is where we're hitting a sweet spot. By the way, if you're not subscribed right now to the YouTube channel, please, we'll cut this bit out of the podcast, but if you're not subscribed to the YouTube channel, please go and subscribe.

You'll miss these lives if you don't. We're thinking of doing these once a week, aren't we we are yeah or is that news to you no we are doing these once a week so subscribe hit the notification bell so that you don't miss these when they go live because this would people would have missed out if they didn't see people are missing out right now have you got a friend you should send the link to this too she's missing out he's missing out bring them here subscribe hit the notification bell by the way real quick we have a virtual retreat coming up in september from the 24th to the 26th harry is going to be the biggest one yet indeed it will we've done three of them now have we done three

or two we've done two virtual two virtuals and they've been just smash hit successes people have loved them. And it's not just about your love life. It's about your whole life. If you want to come join us on the next virtual retreat. It's been a, Steve, I'm not, you know, it's been a rough year. Like we talked about last year, like 2020. But for a lot of people, this year is still extremely transitional and weird.

Yeah, it's still, we're not out of the woods but you can whilst you can't you can't change all of the conditions in your life you can change who you become how you react to the conditions of your life and how consciously you determine what this chapter and the next chapter of your life is going to be about. And I often, you know, look, I have great people in my company who whenever they sit and ask me like, what's the vision for the company right now? What are the goals? And I don't have a good answer to that.

I know that I'm not going to be making the progress I want to make. If I can't answer articulately, what's the vision for my goals in my life right now? What's my vision for my life right now? What's my vision for my personality right now? What's my vision for what I want to bring to the world in terms of my energy, my impact? Or even just what's my vision for how I want to approach my day, my problems, my happiness, my family? If I don't have a vision for that, then I am just like bobbing in the waves. We have to have this ship that knows where it's

going. There's that great Latin phrase, but no wind is favorable to the ship that doesn't know where it's going. And the virtual retreat is about determining where we're going and how we're going to get there in life, not just in love. If you want to come join us on that that go to mhvirtualretreat.com in fact open that up in a separate browser right now so that you can go and check it out as soon as we're done here mhvirtualretreat.com and harry maybe you can put that in the comments as well he's already on it and we make it a whole party there's so like the retreat we just had was amazing yeah i i don't think people can appreciate how much you can do on a virtual retreat we had events we had singers we had like fun parties with people we dressed up we did comedy stuff we had like so many special guests

so it's going to be in september it's our last one of the year don't miss it go to mhvirtualretreat.com and of course subscribe to the youtube channel if you don't if you don't do the virtual retreat at least subscribe to the channel and we'll keep doing free stuff this is free for anyone who's like oh but it costs money this is free so just stay here and get this all right what's our next text um well how many let's do we'll do like one or two more yeah okay um harry what's the time check how long am i rolling uh 36 minutes i think two more two more two more um Okay. So, one here says... This is another screenplay one. Okay, go on.

So, I, you know, take this with a pinch of salt. We are on the same page, but not on the same paragraph. Oh, God. Again. This is like a bad... That's a bad screenplay. Bad poetry. We're on the same page, but not the same paragraph.

I mean, there's not much need to decipher that. Let's try. Okay, let's try. Let's take it. I mean, what he's done is he's been deliberately obtuse. We're on the same page. He could have been more straight. So what he's saying is, you know.

He said, look, I'm going to make it crystal clear for you, Veronica. I'm going to just be straight as an arrow. Same page, not the same paragraph. See you later. That's saying, we agree to a point. There's a couple of points of disagreement. I'm not going to point out what they are. You know that we're on the same page. You know all the paragraphs

love. You know there's five paragraphs on there. If you don't know which paragraph we're at odds on, that's on you. Is he saying we are great right now, but in the macro of our lives we're not?

Because he didn't say not in the same chapter. Chapter would have been more obvious. I love the fact that we're reading so much into this. Chapter would have been more like we're not... Because he didn't say not in the same chapter. Chapter would have been more obvious. I love the fact that we're reading so much into this. Chapter would have been more like we're not in the same chapter of our lives. Okay. They're in the same chapter. Steve, they're more than... They're in the same chapter and page. They're more than on the same chapter, Steve.

But not paragraph. But they're not on the same paragraph. I think that means we want different things for dinner tonight. Right, so it's actually quite a mild issue. Exactly. He's saying, we are. Do you love me? Check.

Do you see a future with me? Check. What do you want for dinner tonight? Indian. Oh, I want a tie. Right. And then he's like, he's thought about it. He stewed on it for an hour.

And then he's in a wistful moment where he's thinking, I really don't want a tie. He's gone. We're on the same page. Just not on the same paragraph. And then Ben spoke to her again. Right. I think that when someone sends you a message that is that obtuse, you've got to take that moment to just go, could you explain what you mean by this? Don't try to. Do not try and do what Stephen and I have just done.

Right. That's fair. Because you'll end up ordering Indian food thinking that's going to solve the problem say could you explain what you mean by this because it and also perhaps um choose better metaphors and also send me the draft of your screenplay when you're done. And also here's a coupon to a writing course. Well we've got one here that's probably pretty classic but it's from Sophisticated who says I don't want to lose you but can't commit.

Yeah. That's probably a tension a lot of people have. Steve I want a six pack. But I really would like a tray of cupcakes today. Yeah, I'd say that's where I'm at. Right. Right.

I would like for our business to continue going well. But I would like to move to the... Play on my PlayStation 5 order. I'd like to complete Spider-Man for the next eight weeks. I would like to create a wonderful relationship with all of the wonderful people on YouTube that follow us and appreciate us

but I don't want to make any more YouTube videos do you know what I mean it's you know if someone says that that's by the way that's honest that's honest yeah that's not confusing that's what that one that's not confusing it's just honest so all you need to do with that is go look the they don't want to lose me that's their business that's nothing to

do with me yeah yeah the part that's to do with me is the part where they're telling me they can't give me what I want. Yeah. You know, and by the way, you have to define commitment. Like sometimes we have to actually nail someone down on what is commitment to you right now? Because sometimes someone will try and pin you as the crazy one. You want all this and you want this. I just don't know if I can give you what what you want well make sure you define what it is you want so that they can't create some some I fantasy some idea of you being crazy you being too much

because you might be saying to them right now, hey, look, I'm not trying to have kids this year. I'm not trying to, I'm not even trying to be married in the next couple of years. Like that's not, maybe marriage isn't even on my agenda. But do I want someone who actually sees a possible future with me? Sure. If you can't see that, then I can't be here. I would like someone who is monogamous with me and is committed to truly like giving this a go. Doesn't mean we have to know everything about what the future holds. How could we?

We don't know everything. Anything can happen in life, right? But do I want to know that you're actually in this right now and present and giving it your best shot right now while we're in it? Yes. And if you can't do that and you're not willing to actually give this a try if you're not willing to truly give this an honest try because if we try if we give it an honest try and we fail I can live with that but if

you're halfway in right now then I'm out that's not allowing someone to peg you as the commitment driven crazy one who's looking oh you need so much or you're trying no i don't need so much i need someone who's here i need someone who's actually like here to try yeah not someone who's here as a kind of like halfway house because they're just not sure what they want. At least be sure that you want to try. You don't have to know 10 years from now where you're going to be or 20 years from now. I don't even know where I want to be 20 years from now. But if you're not here to actually give this a real try, then I'm out.

Yeah. But if you're not here to actually give this a real try, then I'm out. Don't allow someone to tie you up in their amorphous logic. Define what it is you're really asking for so that they have to say no to the thing you're really asking for. Not the thing they're making it out to be. Not the thing they're dressing it up as you're asking for. Not the demands you've never made that they're creating in their head. Yeah. I think that's probably a good place to call it, right? It is.

And I... Subscribe so that you don't miss this next week. Because I think it's fair to say people would have missed out this week. They would have missed out. They would have missed out on something special. Don't miss out next week. Subscribe. Hit the bell.

What else should people do? Smash that like button. Smash the like button. Or tap it. Or just tap it. And do go and check out the podcast on iTunes or Spotify. Love Life Podcast with Matthew Hussey.

Yeah, if you're more of a podcast person, come over to iTunes or Spotify and subscribe there. Leave us a comment on the podcast. That would mean a lot to us. Yeah. If you could come and leave us a comment. We've been reading those. More have been coming in recently, haven't they? Yeah, on iTunes where you can write a review.

We've been getting loads of really lovely, wonderful reviews. Beautiful, beautiful ones. Yeah, so thank you. We do read them. We do appreciate them. Every day new ones come in and we are reading them. So if you could leave us a review, that would mean a lot. If you could subscribe, that would mean a lot. Hit the bell so you don't miss anything. And of course, if you want to go and check out the virtual retreat that's coming up in September, we have a glorious team of retreat specialists waiting to speak to you on the phone. They'll find out about your goals, what you're looking for, how the virtual retreat might be relevant to you. And they'll also be honest with you if it wouldn't be relevant to you. So there's no pressure on that call. You can just have a nice chat about your goals and where

you want to go in life and see if it's something that could be good for you. If you like Stephen and I as mentors, we're there the whole time. You'll also get my dad and the whole crew. So go to mhvirtualretreat.com. And other than that, we'll see you next time. Thank you, Pickles, Peaches, Puddings and Pears. Harry and Control Centre. Thank you, Harry. Thank you very much.

Can I just say you did a great job with this You are doing a great job of producing these podcasts Great comments, great questions Great texts today And you set us up for a very entertaining episode By asking that question We should do another question To get to the next episode

Let's do that, we'll put something out on Instagram In the next few days Yeah. Let's do that. We'll put something out on Instagram in the next few days asking another question. You answer it and then come back around the same time next week. We'll figure out the day and we'll do the same again.

Definitely. Thanks, guys. All right. Thank you. Harry, take us out, baby. I see the blog sites. Wookiee, Wookiee, got a new wife. Shorty got a new boo.

Yeah, love beautiful I'm looking for love