Love Life with Matthew Hussey - 145: Why People Disappear When You Show Interest

Episode Date: December 22, 2021

"When I decide I really like someone, they suddenly lose interest?" Has this ever happened to you? Join Matt and Stephen as they explain the psychology behind someone backing off after you reveal your feelings and what types of people typically show this behaviour. --- Book your spot on our virtual retreat on March 18th-20th! Go to MHVirtualRetreat.com and spend a magical 3 days with us transforming your confidence and relationships... (HOLIDAY SPECIAL OFFER – book your spot in December and get a $100 discount off the full price + 3 special bonuses!) --- Follow Matt @thematthewhussey Follow Stephen @stephenhhussey

🎵 🎵 Hello everyone and welcome back to the podcast with Stevie Boy Biscuits and Matty Boy Manchego. That's a Spanish cheese for those of you who don't know. Hello Matthew. Hello Stephen. Well, I brought Jameson some peanut butter cups didn't i before this podcast i brought you a i brought you a little soda didn't i you were setting up the cameras brought you a soda and two two peanut butter cups because i know you like that as a little treat don't you midday and you haven't eaten the peanut butter cups yet i uh i haven't eaten the peanut butter cups yet. I haven't touched the LaCroix.

It's not a soda. I don't drink soda. I'll have you know. And the peanut butter cups, you know, it's just, it's my, this is me standing up for my own body and my ability to withhold sugar from myself. As you know, it's my one great weakness. Chocolate is your one great weakness.

Yeah, yeah. If I leave any chocolate around, you're like a little feral creature that goes squirreling your way into the cupboards. You find it. You sniff it out somewhere. I've seen it. Weird, isn't it? It's proper weird

watching it. Yeah, his eyes sniff it out somewhere i've seen it weird isn't it it's proper like weird watching yeah he sort of his eyes his eyes roll back and he goes into a sort of fugue state if you watch him with cookies it's like proper youngest child stuff like yeah like you know he's like found the cookie jar and he's he's found it away from his older brothers and he can finally do what he's always wanted to do which is eat 50 of them they were clearly hidden from him when he was younger and now he can't stop himself when he finds them he's got a really unhealthy relationship with it it's very it's very it's very shameful it's actually sort of it's sort of inverted from this, where I was just home for the holidays. And when I'm home for the holidays, my mom, she'll just plant all of these drugs known as cookies around the house.

And I'll just have as many as I can have if I let myself. And so I've come out of that world back into Los Angeles, where I have some more control over my domain. And now, so this temptation is actually nothing to me now. And here I am like a, a mother feeding him for love, trying to ruin the good work that he's, he's trying to do. By the way, I just want to put this out there to everyone listening. I, you know, for, for a number of years, we, we did a lot of, we did a lot of talk on tea, didn't we? And, and people would always bring me, you know, we're, we're British, obviously we like a good cup of tea when we're back in England, but it's sort of, it's almost

like we said this too many times. And then when we'd go on tour, everyone would bring tea as a gift. And Jameson, it, there's few gifts less exciting to me than tea. You picked a gift that's literally like three cents per bag. Right. Right. And that's not why I didn't like it. Cookies are pretty cheap as well. But when you see cookies, you get excited. If someone brings me cookies on tour, I'll be in the back room before I come on stage eating. Have you seen me, Jameson? You've seen me with a bag of audience cookies that have been passed to me in some back room that I'm supposed to be getting ready in.

And I'm sitting there eating my body weight in cookies. When Matt calls me a feral a feral creature he is completely projecting right because when i'll have cookies methodically like i'll just won't think okay yep another cookie here we go i guess i'll have another one after this matt will actually run to the corner like a raccoon who's just come out of a dumpster with a bunch of cookies all right and my girlfriend's sitting here smiling and laughing and nodding yeah i do remember that one backstage in van uh in toronto before we went on stage and i just saw matt in the sort of dressing room they'd given him with a massive bag of cookie enormous bag and he was just like swallowing them like in giant bites

and he was on stage he was going on stage in about 10 minutes like one of those birds that just grits it at the end of its beak and then throws it in the air and just knocks it back without even chewing it and i thought that can't be good 10 minutes before you're going on stage no well he's not a true he's not a true lover the same way i am i feel like because he does the full cookie monster routine where he'll leave he'll leave quarters or halves of cookies around. He's just like nibbling on an end of it and he wants to go to the next one. He'll nibble, nibble, and he won't actually consume the entire thing. He's massively cookie wasteful.

And just get rid of the crust. Yeah. You know? So anyway, my point is, if you ever want to bring me a gift, a great gift is probably a cookie or maybe a book, but not tea. Please no more tea. An Englishman does not need more tea in his pantry. No. He's not strapped for tea.

So, Matt, what's happening in the world of love? Well, I thought, Steve, we'd talk today about people who disappear. And more specifically, why is that when people, why is that so many people have the experience of showing interest and then when they show interest, all of a sudden that person starts to lose interest? Because I know that there are so many people who have written into us with this exact issue. Why does he lose interest when I show mine? And of course, there will be gentlemen listeners as well. I know you're no stranger to this. You show some interest and then all of a sudden it seems like it's repelled someone.

It suddenly reversed the mode, the magnetic polarity in the attraction. Why does that happen? So that's what we're going to get onto today. Before we jump into that, we have an email review from Olivia. This was sent into podcast at matthewhussey.com. So you can send in any of your funny quips, stories, experiences, questions to podcast at matthewhussey.com. Olivia says, hi, Love Life team. I get so excited every time I see there is a new episode. I have so many aha moments when listening. You guys have helped me gain a better understanding of not just past relationships, but lots of things about life itself. I agree, Matt, that the Getting Over Your Biggest Regrets is one of the best episodes. Go check out that episode if you haven't listened to it yet. It's called Getting Over Your Biggest Regrets. I want to comment on how catchy the Love Life theme song is. I caught myself doing a little jig to me at the moment, and I've never felt more confident and happy in my life.

Thank you for continuing to post new episodes. Keep up the great work. Five stars from me. Well, that's so lovely, Olivia. Thank you. And hello to your little dog. Thank you, Olivia. I appreciate every one of those stars.

And thank you so much. It was very kind and props to my my friend Chez who produced the theme song for this show produced it with with the artist Riz out of Sacramento so I got to give them you can you can listen to the whole to the whole song on YouTube or Spotify team single by Saxone Riz good little track Jameson we're supposed to say that this is the only place they can listen to it you would you can only listen to the 15 second sample of this song at the beginning of the podcast you in order to listen to this song keep listening to that sample on loop in as many episodes as possible listen to as many episodes of this podcast as possible smart yeah that's how

we're gonna get those those views views the one how let me tell you how you attract an audience steve desperation yeah you're really gaming really gaming the algorithm there uh well speaking of of attraction of people who showed show too much interest early on um let's well let's talk about it steve you know, this idea that when I show interest, they disappear. What is that? Is that a thing? Is that a thing that, is it an illusion or is that a real thing that happens? You show someone in, are there people who get interest from someone and they are turned off by it? Well, that's the the question isn't it is it just are we are we really saying here that it's just because this is a claim

i think a lot of people make when they say this always happens i show interest and they disappear that would be to suggest that it that showing interest itself is inherently unattractive right and it would be hard to argue the truth of that statement it leads to those stalemates of no one dares wants to take one step forward or put themselves on the line because they think i'm gonna lose the chess game if i show any interest right so i i think we should almost break this down into what are the causes of someone losing interest once we show our interest? What categories could that phenomenon fall into? I'd like to start, and I'm wondering what you think of this, Steve, with a simple idea that some people are not looking for what you're looking for or are unhealthy emotionally.

Yes. So those are two separate things. They're not necessarily the same thing. But let's just start with those two things. What are your thoughts on those two, Steve? Yes, I agree. So the first one may be that once you show a level of interest that freaks them out, they realize, oh, I don't want to commit to this person this much. I was attracted to them.

I was having fun with them. I was enjoying dating. But they're really into me. And they might be like, I'm backing off now because i've gotten in too deep or i don't want to go where this person's taking me i think that is a real phenomenon that happens to people that's exactly right so you can't you know that that you can't put you can't, you know, that, that you can't put, you can't make that a personal issue. You just have to say, some people are not ready for a real relationship. And that's why they're backing off when they realize that I am ready for a real relationship.

And we have to start seeing that as a positive, not a negative. That if I learn that someone doesn't want a real relationship and that makes them go away, well, how was I going to get them to stay? By pretending I didn't want a real relationship? All that means is I'm deferring my hurt to some time down the road when I finally admit that I want more. And then guess what? You're going to get the exact same answer, which is I'm scared. I don't want more. I didn't sign up for this and the truth is about that guy is that he may have already felt that way from the very beginning of you dating it's not that you brought it up and suddenly showed too much interest and now he's like

i'm out he may have never planned to take things further, but it's only because you prompted the conversation. So in that sense, that he's now backing off in that sense, what you're experiencing is just a revealing of what someone's intentions have been all along. So we can kind of rule that out as not just something not to feel bad about, but actually a good thing that you should feel proud of yourself in the moments where you showing a greater interest reveals that someone has no intention of, of making something more of this situation with you. Though there is a different, there is something that doesn't fall into that category, which is when you bringing up your interest in someone, when you showing more interest actually does have an effect on them, it does repel them. And this is the case of

someone being emotionally unhealthy themselves. Yes. So in this situation, there's different ways of looking at it. One is someone else having issues with themselves. Low self-esteem. They don't prize themselves highly. They haven't truly accepted themselves. So this can create one of a couple of effects and it could also be the beginning bit right the very early moment where you show a bit of interest on like tinder or something and someone's like oh no this person's too easy like they're always looking for the difficult to catch fish and someone who likes them is like oh that's that that they want me too easily like they must be lower value than i am yeah so yes so i think this is this is some distinctions have to be made because that's definitely that's definitely a phenomenon i i see this kind of being a couple of different things. You have the person who doesn't actually think a lot of themselves. So this is the, I'm hideous. So if you like me,

you must be hideous effect. Groucho Marx. Right. I wouldn't want to belong to any club that would have someone like me as a member. Exactly. So this is the self, the kind of self-loathing phenomenon. I don't like myself. I don't value myself. So if you like me, then you must not have much value. That's one side of it. The other side of it is someone who, their relationship with happiness is one of constantly trying to attain something that they think will make them happy once they get it. A simple example of this in commercial terms is, you know, why does, I don't know, why does American Express have a platinum card? It's so that people who have a regular Amex can have something to aspire to. Right now, what's the difference? Why, unless I'm spending a fortune every month, why would I want a platinum with a much higher limit over a regular Amex?

Because I think that something about having that platinum card in my wallet is going to make me happier. Now I've got the platinum card. And Amex says, by the way, you know, did you know Jay-Z has a black card? He has an Amex black card. Don't you want the black card? And you go, wait, what's that one? And they go, oh, it's a super special Amex we have. There's very few people who have it.

And now you want that one. Why? Is it going to change your life? On some level, we must think, ah, that's going to make me happier. If I could just get that one. And you can guarantee that after that, by the way, Amex, there probably is some super special Amex that us mere mortals don't even know about. You know, some sort of Amex club that Jay-Z is trying to get into. It's just Bezos and musk and that's it but when you hear about that club you go oh i want to be in

that club because what it's really about is this obsession with attainment this obsession with i need something i need something else i think that's going to make me happier you know that that uh that line in hamilton you know i'll never be satisfied it's that feeling of oh you know that that phrase is very very powerful you know i'll never be satisfied i'm always looking for the the bigger thing the better thing the more exclusive club and you can never for someone like that you can never be a great enough club for them not to be looking for another exclusive club because guess what the moment you show interest in a person like that you're no longer the exclusive club because guess what the moment you show interest in a person like that

you're no longer the exclusive club the moment you show interest to a person like that you've accepted them and acceptance is a turnoff for them because acceptance means i already won and there's a different win now to go for. Yeah. So now they go for the, what's the bigger kill? What's the bigger win? What's the more exclusive club? You can never be that club. Once you actually accept someone, you can never, you can never again be the exclusive club to them because you accepted them. You invited them in to someone like that. So, so, you know, there's, there's the people, I guess the way I'm, the distinction I'm drawing is that there are people that have an incredibly unhealthy relationship with themselves where they loathe themselves. And that's why they, they immediately think that you must not be great if you like them.

And then there's the people that have a really unhealthy relationship with happiness. Where they think that the happiness is always in the getting, never in the having. And once they have you, they can no longer get you. That's one group. Now, we also shouldn't be worried about scaring off someone like that. So we might say, so does that just mean that all of this phenomenon of me showing interest and someone losing their interest once I show mine is just all about these people that I should be happy I'm repelling because they're wrong for me. They're either not ready. They don't want the same things as me or they're emotionally unhealthy or they have an unhealthy relationship with happiness. Maybe, but there is another category. Yes. And this is the one where we have to look at ourselves.

Yes. This is the, this is the self-reflective part of this equation, which is... By the way, guys, if you're enjoying this subject that Stephen and I are talking about right now, if you've shown interest in the past and someone has disappeared, or you're dealing with this right now, you expressed your desire for someone and they went cold on you right as you thought it was starting to get good, go to whyhe'sgone.com. We have a free guide there that outlines the five major reasons why someone disappears after you show your interest. It builds on the subject matter that we're talking about today in a practical way, in a free guide that you can download in the next 30 seconds. Go to whyhe'sgone.com to download that guide now.

Perhaps one of the reasons I'm losing interest when I'm showing interest is in the manner in which I show interest. So let's talk about that, Steve. What are you, I'm curious to know what your thoughts are on this. I think it's in what, not just intensity perhaps of interest, but in what you're showing an interest in and people are not stupid and they can feel if, for example, your interest is only in fulfilling some some empty relationship shaped hole in your life where you just are needing a relationship to plug up certain gaps in your self-esteem and you have turned them into an idealized version of themselves and they can feel like they have this unearned level of attention

and affection and they think oh this person is turning me into the source of their whole world and someone can freak out then and be like the level of the interest they have is not just about me it's about them needing to fix something that they feel is broken about them. That's absolutely right. Absolutely right. Now, what would you say are the key signs? What are the ways that we telegraph that we are valuing someone more than we should for the stage of attraction we're in that we are not actually getting to know them organically but have really quickly made up our minds about them in an unhealthy way that we are moving at a pace that is making someone start to take a step back what are the what are the practical things that someone should watch out for in their own behavior that might be

telegraphing the wrong things in those early stages and pushing someone away i think it's perhaps the way you are what you are deciding about them early on if you are not looking at their behavior but you are just you are just so over you were just so bowled over and bought into them really quickly before they've actually had any time to prove to you why they would be a great boyfriend or why they would why they really really care about you and they're not prioritizing you yet in your life but you're you're living for them you find yourself dropping things that would otherwise have been important to you for them suddenly your work is a backseat. Suddenly your friends are a backseat. And if you know you have that tendency to just suddenly start dropping things, I think that's a warning sign. I have always thought that the way that we get attracted to people in unhealthy ways and invest in unhealthy ways has a lot of parallels in the way that people behave

around celebrities yeah when we have a favorite celebrity we often like them or admire them for some pretty one-dimensional reasons, right? Your favorite musician you really like probably because they're really great at being a musician. They play that guitar really well, or they have an amazing voice, or you really like their songs. Your favorite actor you like because they play a role really well in a movie they're a great actor this has almost nothing to do with who they are as a person because you don't know who they are as a person and it certainly has nothing to do with what they're investing in you because they don't even know you and yet when someone meets their favorite celebrity

what celebrities are used to is that that person falls over themselves to try to meet that celebrity, impress them, they do anything for them, they go out of their way in completely unreasonable ways for that celebrity. So what's that really about? It's about overvaluing this quality in a person and deciding how much we like them when we really have no idea who they even are. Now let's bring it back to the, to people's love lives for a moment. People could say, well, I have, I've seen this person like two or three times now, and it's not just their looks. You know, I really like them. I think they're a really interesting person. I think, well, you have to understand that it's still kind of one dimensional. Even if you think they're really interesting and they've been great on a date, you're still seeing them in very few dimensions.

You don't know a lot about them. So you have to ask yourself how much interest is truly rational right now for how well I know this person. And what are some of the mistakes that I could make if I overvalue this person right now? Well, I start giving up every night of the week. I start bombarding their phone with messages. And when they don't text me back, I send another one. I respond to last minute requests constantly from them because I just want to be near them. So even if I had other plans, at the last minute, I'll drop whatever it is I have going on in order to see them. I'll do anything I can just to be near them.

I ignore the fact that I'm giving and they're taking. That they're just taking and taking and taking. I'm just giving, giving, giving because I just want to get closer and closer and closer. And when people see these things, they start to get concerned that, well, this person, well, perhaps I get concerned. Oh, this, I'm starting to get a strange feeling here. i don't know if this person's giving me this this person can't be giving me all this attention because i've earned it because i haven't and it can't be because i'm giving them so much back because i'm not so this must be to do with their value now it must be to do with the fact that either they don't really value themselves which isn't attractive yeah or it's to do with the fact that either they don't really value themselves, which isn't attractive. Yeah. Or it's to do with the fact that they've overvalued me, which means they're

not really seeing me. Or it's to do with the fact that what they want has nothing to do with me. What they want is a relationship. What they want is a goal, whatever their goal is, but it has very little to do with me. Yeah. And that's starting to creep me out because I'm now feeling detached from, from any real connection with this person. All I'm really seeing is someone who's driving after a goal and a preset agenda that they have that existed before they met me. So we can solve that by. If we decide we like someone. There's nothing wrong with showing that you like someone.

A little bit. You have to give them a little bit. But you don't necessarily have to give them more than that. And even if you say yeah but I'm so attracted to this person, you can be so attracted to this person, but how attracted you are and what boundaries you have are very different things. Being so attracted doesn't have to mean having no boundaries. You can still say, yeah, I am.

I am massively attracted to someone. You can even say that to someone, but it doesn't mean that you're willing to see them every night of the week. It doesn't mean that you're going to chase them. It doesn't mean that if you see behavior you don't like you're not going to call it out it doesn't mean they're going to get more of your attention unless they start showing you more of their attention this is this is the fundamental mistake people make be wildly attracted to someone think Think someone is incredibly sexy. You know what's powerful? Someone knowing that you think

they're incredibly sexy and attractive and also knowing that that has no effect on your behavior when it comes down to what choices you make. Oh yeah, that's incredibly powerful. If people see that, like that doesn't even, that's not enough for them to compromise their self-respect or they'll still put up boundaries or express when they disagree it's like man they're not controlled by that emotion right and that's that's that's what makes someone a powerful person is oh you're not

gonna override your own what's good for you because you're attracted to me. And that doesn't mean that someone needs to know all of the ways that you're really attracted to them right now. They can get to know that a little more slowly, but ultimately it's about, it's about measuring. It's about seeing everything in its proper place. I am not going to, I can't, if I'm valuing things right, then the fact that you score a nine for me in the physical attraction box doesn't change the fact that you're not even at a two yet in terms of being there for me in difficult situations or connecting with me on the deepest possible level of accepting my flaws

and my darker side and who I am. How could you possibly be scoring anything on that scale right now? I haven't told you any of that stuff. I haven't even shown you the worst parts of me. I haven't even given you a chance to accept the more difficult parts of me yet. So how could I possibly know whether you're right for me on that level? I can't. So while I get to know what we could be in all of these really major categories, I may demonstrate that I like you, but that's not going to be met by an incredible amount of investment. I'm still going to give you a little bit and see if you meet me there. But if what you do when you're interested in someone is give and give and give. And then they take. And then you give. You don't wait to see if they give back. You just start giving again. Yeah. That's what starts to creep someone out. Yeah. Because they go, oh, what's going on here? Why? I just took and I didn't give anything back. Now, they may not consciously realize this.

A lot of people won't consciously realize it because sometimes when we're around someone who gives a lot, the instinct is to take. The instinct is just to enjoy what they're giving, but we will unconsciously begin to take it for granted what they're giving. And when we take something for granted, we don't associate with earning it. And so we just wait for it to come to us. We might even be repelled by it because we go, oh, this feels icky. I'm not even giving to this situation. And this person keeps giving. There's something icky about this. And then we get a bad feeling. And then we start to drift away because something about this situation gives us

a bad feeling because something about someone giving and giving and giving and giving, even though we're not giving back, feels unreliable. It feels like a manipulation. It feels like someone who's not stable. It feels like someone who doesn't have rules in place. And all of these things can make us a little afraid. I can't trust a person who doesn't have any boundaries around themselves. I can't trust that they'll do what's right for themselves. I can't trust that their feelings around me are real because if their feelings around me were real, they should be turned off by this. Yeah. This should have affected the situation, but it hasn't. So what are their feelings based on? Oh, there's something else going on with this person. There's some other stuff I don't know about. I'm not aware of.

There's a side of this person that's not good that's dark or unhappy or or desperate or hurt or trying to fix something that has nothing to do with me and all of that feels like yeesh yeah yeah i'm gonna push i'm gonna push away here and fundamentally they don't feel like they have to raise their game around you they're just like it doesn't matter what i do so i yeah i don't feel that that hunger that drive around them to be my better self people love to buy they hate to be sold. People love to buy. They hate to be sold. Steve, it could be an exciting thing if we were suddenly like,

should we go, like, why don't we go on a shopping spree today? Let's go buy some really cool shit. And we went out with that intention. That would be exciting. If we walked through a marketplace on the very same day and people were like, come into my store, come into my store. I've got these things you're really going to like. Come, come, come. All of a sudden we'd be like, get me out of here. Same thing. It's just an exchange of money. But in the latter scenario, you physically want to remove yourself from that space. When we try too hard because we like someone, they start feeling like they're being sold. We're not giving them the space to sell themselves on us.

When I have an amazing date with you, and then I tell you I had a great time, but then I create some space and I see if you come forward to meet me where I am, I'm giving you space to sell yourself. I'm giving you room to miss me. I'm giving you room to think about me. And this is true on every level. This can be true within a relationship. If your partner goes away for an hour or two, if you've been together all day and your partner goes away for an hour or two,

if you text them every second of the time that you're apart, you're not giving them space to just think about you. And I know you're making them think about you, but you're making them think about you as an aggressive act. I'm putting myself on your mind every second of the next two hours. But what if I took a step back and I said, I'm going to let you think about me now on your terms. I'm going to allow you to imagine me, to think about me, to process your thoughts about me. I'm going to give you the space to do that.

Now, by the way, if you do that and someone never comes forward, if all they do is disappear, that's different. That's different. Then the next time they come back into your life, you have to be willing to say, if it's four weeks later, you know, you, you have to be willing to call them out on the fact that they disappeared for four weeks. Right. I thought we had a great date. I didn't, you know, I, I, you, you vanished. What happened? You know, you can say that, but, but on a smaller scale, we have to create those spaces for people to sell themselves on us. Yes. Space is powerful. Space, giving someone space to assess, think about it, miss something, get desire up. There's a lot going on there. to text me any minute now. And you've created space, but it's all just a ruse. You're sitting there by your phone, simply waiting for the next time that they text. Or are you someone who is showing that you have your own life, your own things that you value? Do you have your own opinions on things? Or your opinions, just their opinions? Do you have your own opinions on things? Or your opinions just their opinions?

Do you have your own sense of self? Do you have autonomy over your own happiness? A sense of self-validation? A sense of boundaries? These are the things that make someone attracted even when you're showing interest. Because I'm showing that my whole world isn't whether you like me or not. I like you, but I can move on the moment I realize you're not there with me. Because I have autonomy over my life and my happiness, my moods, my direction of travel.

Not in a fearful way. Not in a, you didn't text me for a day, so I just assumed you didn't like me and I'm out. You know, that's fearful. That's another form of protectionism. I'm, I'm so guarded that the moment I even feel slightly threatened, I'm like a, you know, I jump out of my skin. Right? That's not that that's not safety. That's not autonomy over my own mood, my confidence. It's, oh, if I sense that, that, you know, I like you and, you know, I'm, I have a curiosity about you and where this could go. And I've expressed an interest in seeing you again, but I'm not feeling the same as the same thing from you. Then slowly my attention starts to find homes in, you know, my attention returns to other things in my life. That space that was, that little space that had opened up for that possibility begins to shift to something else.

That's how you remain valuable while you're showing interest in somebody else. Ultimately, when two well-balanced, healthy people who want the same thing are attracted to each other, progress is an organic thing. Progress is an organic thing. Progress is natural. If it feels unnatural, either because it's too fast or it's static or frankly someone disappears, it's the result of either mism receive interest or ours in the inorganic or destructive way that we demonstrate interest. If you want to hear more on this topic, go to whyhe'sgone.com. We actually have a free guide there that outlines five major reasons why someone disappears after you show interest. And it builds on the things that we've talked about here. There'll even be a couple of points there that we haven't mentioned here. content I need right now, go to whyhe'sgone.com and download that free guide that expands on the things that we've been talking about in this podcast today.

I want to read an iTunes review, Steve, from Cleveland Mark. Remember, anytime you leave us a review on iTunes, we are reading them. We really appreciate them. We're putting a ton of effort into this podcast. And frankly, it just spurs us on and excites us and motivates us to keep going, knowing that you are out there listening and benefiting from it. This was a review in relation to the episode, Getting Over Your Biggest Regrets, which, Steve, this episode has come up again and again. People really love that episode. Cleveland Mark says, absolutely inspiring. Love the simple thoughts combined with intellectual intensity. You've inspired me to create and do whatever I'd love to do, yet possibly felt I didn't deserve before. Truly not the average podcast,

and I love the depth you provide. Thank you, Cleveland Mark. And if you're listening to this episode and you got something out of this, tell us specifically. In a review, it means a lot to us. Feel free to just say you love it in the review, but if you've specifically got something

out of this episode, let us know. And lastly, before you go, we have a virtual retreat coming up in March. If you are not signed up for this right now, this is the pinnacle of what we do. If you really feel connected to me and Steve as people in your life who bring the conversation that matters to you, people who can coach you, help you through the things you're going through and put together a blueprint for living a better life. The virtual retreat is where we do that. We work on your emotions, your confidence, the success you have in every part of your life and your sense of peace day to day,

even in the difficult times. It has been a program that I've put together over 15 years now, and it's happening virtually in March over three days of intensive coaching. And what's really exciting is we have a holiday offer, a very special holiday ticket for the virtual retreat, which includes a hundred dollars off of your ticket, an invitation to Momentum Week, which is a week I'm doing in January to kickstart your year. We're going to literally get together for an hour every single day, which is going to kick off on a Monday with me giving you my entire daily routine so that you can implement that in your life, or at the very least, take the parts of it you like best. And every other day that week, we're going to be working together on our goals on video as accountability working partners. It's a very special process. Momentum week is going to be

exactly what you need to get your year off to a strong start. And that's not even the main event. Of course, with this, you're getting the virtual retreat that is happening in March. You're also getting one more bonus, which is a Q&A live with me to work on the things you're struggling with in your life right now. That's going to happen in March before the virtual retreat. So it's an amazing bundle of gifts that you get when you purchase a ticket to the virtual retreat this month, only until December the 23rd. Just so you know, the virtual retreat is happening from the 18th to the 20th of March, 2022. Get your ticket now and know that you've already secured a date in your year next year that is going to transform

your progress in life and your happiness in yourself. The link to get those tickets is mhvirtualretreat.com. Well, thank you, Stephen. This has been an absolute joy. Thank you, brother. Thank you.