Love Life with Matthew Hussey - 2 Tricks to Own Any Room in 5 Minutes

Episode Date: May 30, 2016

You have the power to be a charismatic, captivating conversationalist… and all it takes are the two simple tricks I’m handing you today. Make sure you listen to the end of the episode, because I��m giving you access to a free guide that will forever transform the way you interact with people and reveal the secret to getting everything you want out of life.

Welcome to Love Life, I'm Matthew Hussey. Now do you ever feel like you're stuck in a rut? We all do from time to time. The problem is just going through the motions cuts off our ability to grow and increase our happiness in life. Now what would happen if you actually began living each and every day with purpose? Let me tell you, it is possible to transform your life from ordinary to extraordinary, and it doesn't have to take months or years, but just a matter of days. Stick with me till the end of the show, and I'll tell you exactly how to do it.

I have a couple of techniques for you today to have instant charisma in the first five seconds of speaking to someone. So what are these? Well, the first one is the pregnant pause. People, I mean, this is generally speaking anyway, people do not pause enough in conversation. They talk because they're insecure and they keep talking so that there isn't, God forbid, an awkward silence. But planned silences can actually magnify your impact. And this is something not enough of us are actually doing. I noticed something about the charismatic people that I was coming across. They had a way of owning the room and having everyone tune into what they were saying, sometimes even in moments where they weren't speaking.

So someone would tell them something, could be telling them about their job or where they're from or an opinion they had on life. And rather than launch right into some big opinion on it, they would almost catch the other person a little bit off guard, throw them off balance a little bit with a pause because they would say something like this. So here's a question I have for you. And then they pause. Or I'd hear someone say, here's the thing. And then they pause. Or they'd say, okay, so I have a question. Okay, so there's something I want to know. And then they'd pause. So it doesn't matter what someone says to you. You could do this with anything. They don't have to be saying something particularly profound for you to do this. This person could be telling you that they're from Texas and you say, okay, so I have a question for you. I last year went to Texas and there was something I found. And then you pause and then you keep going.

The people there, da, da, da, da, da, and you keep going. So the point is that rather than feeling like, oh my God, they've said something. Now I have to be the one who now takes the ball and runs with it because it's my turn to speak. So I need to start spouting words quickly. Instead of doing that, take a moment. The beautiful thing about this pause is that not only does it create suspense where the other person really knows what you're going to say, what it also does is give you time to think. Because sometimes you don't even have your question locked and loaded, but just by pausing, you give yourself a moment to actually think about what you're going to say next. So first technique is the pregnant pause. The second technique I want to give today

is the playful tease. Now, many of you know from my YouTube channel, a gentleman by the name of Jameson. He films my videos. He directs my videos. He's my writing partner. He's a very gifted man. If you haven't heard of him yet, go to my YouTube channel and you'll see our little partnership going on in real time, real time every week. Um, which by the way, I'll get the, our YouTube channel is called get the guy team, uh, go search us. So Jameson one day is telling me about his friend, Tim, and I hear a lot about this guy and he sounds wonderful. And a few weeks later, it just so happens that I'm actually going to meet Tim because he's in town. Now, let's take this scenario. I'm about to meet this guy that I know is old friends with Jameson that Jameson really likes. And I want to make a good impression. I want to be charismatic. I want

to be likable. And I want to obviously respect the relationship that they've had Now one way that I do this is I walk up to him and I say Hey Tim, I've heard so much about you Jameson said some really lovely things about you Now that might be a nice way to start And it's a way that is already better than just saying hi But there's a way to go over and above that. So this is already a compliment, but we can take this to the next level.

If I said, okay, Tim, I have a question for you. How is it you get Jameson to say so many nice things about you when you're not even here? Okay. So now I'm getting slightly more teasing. If I wanted to take this compliment even more teasing, I could say, all right, I have a question for you, Tim. How much money do you have to pay Jameson for him to say so many nice things about you when you're not even here? So you can see how this has graduated. It starts from me saying, hi, Tim, it's me, Matt. You know, it's good to meet you. If I wanted to graduate from there, I could say, you know, it's great

to meet you, Tim. Jameson speaks really highly of you. If I want to take it up a notch again, I could just say, so how do you get Jameson to say so many nice things about you when you're not even there? If I want to take it up a notch again and be even more playful with it, I say, how much money do you have to pay Jameson to have him say so many nice things about you when you're not even present? And by the way, I can obviously combine this with the pregnant pause. If I say, I have a question for you, Tim. How much money? And then I go with that next part.

So I can combine these two techniques in that way. So two techniques, the pregnant pause and the playful teasing compliment. Now I know so many of you are always calling for me to do more of this type of content because it's all about conversation. It's all about being likable. It's all about how to socialize better. And I know that you guys really love it when I, for a moment, take a breath from just applying things to love life and I apply it to all of life. That's what this type of content does, by the way. These social dynamics techniques apply across the board. And I actually have

something really interesting for you guys today that I haven't spoken about in a little while. So many of you won't have heard about this before. Last year, I went on a radio show called Elvis Duran, which is one of the biggest radio shows in the United States. And my brother, after I came off of that show, called me and he said, Matt, you owned the room in the first five minutes of that radio show. And I said, okay. He said, but everyone thinks you're good with people. And what they don't realize is over time, you've honed these techniques. You've learned how to be good with people. You didn't start good with people. You've learned this stuff over time. And he said, he was kind of playing with me, but he said, I'm sick of everyone assuming that you're just good at this. And that, you know, you naturally just have this gene which makes you good at talking to people instead of it being something you actually learn along the way.

So he ended up writing a kind of expose on what I did when I was at that radio show to really own the room in the first five minutes. And it was all about owning the room in five minutes. So if this radio episode has been about how to be charismatic in the first five seconds, this guide will show you how to own a room in the first five minutes. If you want to get that, it's completely free. Um, and it's a little embarrassing for me. So you can go and have a laugh at that and enjoy that. But it's howtogettheguy.com forward slash behind the curtain. Go check it out. Let me know what you think. As I said, it's completely free, but they're techniques that you can use right now today to become better with people. So I look forward to hearing your feedback and I'll see you in the next episode.

So earlier we were talking about being stuck in a rut. If you want to discover the secret to living a life of purpose and experiencing a level of joy that most people don't even dare to dream about, I have an invitation for you. I want you to apply for my Matthew Hussey retreat. Now I say apply because this is an exclusive program. There are a limited number of spots and I handpick the women who I think are ready for this radical

transformation. I can promise you this. If you are accepted, I'll take you by the hand and lead you through a life-changing experience that will give you every tool you need to quickly achieve the things that you want most in life. To claim your spot for a phone interview with one of my expert mentors, just go to lovelifepodcast.com forward slash retreat.