Love Life with Matthew Hussey - 233: What We Wish We Knew BEFORE Planning Our Wedding

Episode Date: March 27, 2024

Some of our biggest milestones in life can also be the most stressful of our lives: buying a home, getting our first car, and even planning a wedding! In this episode, Matt and Audrey sit down with their wonderful wedding planners Lynden Lane to discuss what makes the perfect wedding, how to budget for a big event, and how to create the greatest memories with as little stress as possible. --- ►► Connect with Lynden Lane @lyndenlane ►► Pre-Order My New Book, "Love Life" at → http://www.LoveLifeBook.com Thank You to Our Wedding Vendors! Design & Production: @lyndenlane Photography: @sarahfalugo.co Video: @giuliocantarella_wedding Florals: @keithjlaverty Paper Goods: @cecilespaperco Venue: @dimoradellebalze Rentals: @theark_ & @theonicollection Stylist: @nextlevelwardrobe Hair Stylist: @tonipellegrinoartandscience Dress: @pronovias DJ: @redshoela

Does this wedding have soul and does it have the DNA of your particular relationship or the culture that you create in your life? many of you know that last year audrey and i got married and that meant planning a wedding so we brought on three people to help us from the company linden lane over the next few months i experienced lots of different emotions that came up for me in planning a wedding, especially one that forced people to travel. Will people come? Are they going to have a good time if they come? Are they going to resent us for making them leave the house? How do we make a great wedding? And it struck me that all of these questions are actually questions that we ask every year in different ways, regardless of whether we are planning a wedding. How many people don't arrange a dinner party

because they're afraid that no one will come or that people won't enjoy themselves, or they don't know how to construct an event that's going to be a wonderful moment or memory for people. And I believe that being the organizer of events and experiences is one of the great ways to transform our social life, to go from being passive to being an active participant in creating experiences for us and for others. This is all about how to do that. It's super fun. You're going to get a lot of behind the scenes details of mine and Audrey's wedding, which is really the first time I think we've talked about them anywhere with the people that were in the thick of it with us the entire time. So this will

be a bit of a behind the scenes episode, but it's also going to be an incredibly practical episode for you in creating an exciting year for yourself and better social connections this year. I present to you, Lyndon Lane. So you just looked at Audrey and I and said, oh, you still like each other. That's a good thing. It's so happy. And I said, we actually like each other more now, probably. When this peaceful stage of actually being married now and not discussing the wedding. And you then said that there's a couple you're working with where they have a rule that they can only talk about the wedding every Thursday. Yep.

It's their Thursday wedding night chat. And they save, you know, good things, bad things, whatever. But it's just otherwise you find yourself it consumes all your conversations so it's a good way to keep it streamlined is it more typical that people enjoy planning their wedding or grow to hate it well hopefully we make it we hopefully we make it that they enjoy it but i think also also it's a very, you know, you have to be active in wanting to enjoy it and letting yourself say, okay, this isn't going to stress me out because they're stressful decisions.

They feel like big decisions. And then you feel like all of these amazing, important people are coming to enjoy your wedding. So you have to be active and not allowing yourself to feel overwhelmed and stressed about it and letting people that are trying to help you whether it be your planners or who your family whoever that is like letting go and and being present and what that moment is that year or two years whatever it is that you're planning trust to trusting that process yeah well you made it incredibly

stress-free for us i think compared by any reasonable normal standard oh my god we actually kept saying at the time we kept forgetting that it was coming up because you guys were just amazing you took everything off our hands and we would be like wait it's coming up in like two or three weeks what would you say you cared a lot about our wedding that I didn't show any interest in at all careful I'm trying to think I can you guys even remind me was I was that something I was really like particularly no very easy going and you both wanted your guests to feel taken care of yeah so that is a through line, right? Same thing. And so I think I'm sure for you guys, I don't obviously I'm not in your relationship besides the wedding,

but obviously that is a love language, right? Like feeling taken care of. And that's something you wanted to gift to your guests. So yes, you wanted it to look pretty, but are they taken care of? Do they know where they're going is there transportation have we shown them some restaurants like those were the things that were high on your list which is great that's easy for us to do right because that's our love language also yeah no that's true and but you cared a lot about that as well I cared a lot about my dress sure so much I and I was like as one does as one does I think that was the thing I cared the most about I was like I think when someone asked us like what are you most looking forward to about the wedding and I think that it was actually during my bachelorette party we played that game where

people asked you the question and you had to answer it and I had to answer what Matt would have answered on my behalf mr and mrs I think it's called and anyway somebody asked me like uh what are you most looking forward to about the wedding and i went my dress and me walking down not seeing me in my dress and then you played the thing and you were like the people she loves and i think you then went you also went and her dress i it. You said something interesting though about that idea of, you know, for us wanting people to feel at home and taken care of. That became really useful to me as like a driving why for everything. And I feel like that's something that's applicable to any event. If you're hosting a dinner party, if you're hosting a dinner party if you're

having people over if you're throwing something for july 4th it's like it having any kind of an event for a lot of people is immensely stressful very but to have that core what's the feeling i'm trying to create i think is really really powerful because then you get to focus everything you do around, because there's always a thousand things you could do, but to narrow it down to what are we actually going to do to have that core why I think is really, really powerful. Absolutely. And a lot of our couples are really in the beginning are kind of feeling wishy, like not wishy-washy, but like trying to find that. And I think part of our job as we're going through the process is,

why do you want it here? Why do you want these people here? And let's keep coming back to that moment because obviously we love design and all the things pretty, but at the end of the day, it's about this couple getting married and how their friends and family are gonna witness that. And so it's really interesting to find clients that want to keep coming back to that moment.

And those weddings always have so much soul to them. And you feel it. Love that you use that word. That word is like my obsession, is like soul. it it permeates everything is does this wedding have soul is it and does it have the dna of your particular relationship or the culture that you create in your life and i think there's something very intimidating about weddings in general where you find yourself looking at what everyone else is doing and thinking we have to emulate some version of that. And, and I suppose that's why things end up becoming so cookie cutter for so many people. But it's a weird thing. I imagine a lot of people feel like they could plan their best wedding after their wedding.

100%. Yes. We feel like we could plan their second best wedding after their wedding. Cause we know them so much better. Yeah, exactly. And there's, you know, I think it takes, it takes doing something big like that in some ways to build the confidence that then would make you do it more like you next time around as weird as that sounds. No, let go of the pressure of what's actually, that was a very good thing that you said, because I think something that makes people nervous and something that drives their team planners and whatnot crazy is they start planning and then they get obsessed with trends. They get obsessed with what's on Instagram and all of these things. And it becomes impossible to chase those

things for you as the people doing it and for the people executing it for you. So if you let go of that and lean into for you, like what is going to feed my soul in this? What are the things that are important to me? And like my mom said, why do I want these people here? What is the moment? And that's for anything, not just your wedding.

Like it could be that you want your girls over for dinner, but it's like, I haven't seen you guys in a long time. I miss you. We need this connection. Like, if that's what you're focusing on versus, oh, I need to have this kind of cake or this kind of decor. Yes, those things are on top and we want those things too. But if you're staying true to what matters to your heart and your soul, you're going to have an amazing wedding. I remember having some of the maddest ideas. And like, you know, like we're so busy all the time. And the year we were getting married happened to be one of the busiest years ever

in like five different ways. It would have been still unmanageable without us getting married. And then we threw getting married in Sicily. Yeah. Yeah. In Sicily. And there was a part when I was thinking like, Oh,

but I really want to make this like focused around our passions and the things that excite us. I remember there was a moment. I don't know if we ever told you this. I'm really excited to hear what you're going to say. There was a moment where I don't know if we ever told you this. I'm really excited to hear what you're going to say right now. I know, we're kind of scared. There was a moment where I was like, we should, you know what would be fun? Is if we did some kind of, because we're like in our free time sometimes with friends and whatever,

we'll go do an escape room or something like that. I was like, what if we could do like a 120 person escape room that we designed from scratch? You did say something about this. Yeah. Really? You did. And there was a guy. Early, early on.

Someone had a card once. I remember we went to an escape room and there was in the escape room on the desk, there was a card of like someone who designs escape rooms. And I was like, I still have their card because I was like. One day I will use it for something some kind of party i'm gonna have i don't know like the the the sub language that would be wedding escape room like it might have just not been feeling like you were like totally yeah it's something very good planner says so what is it that an escape room makes you feel and i'll try to emulate that part. You want everyone working together. Excitement, closeness.

We're not going to lock your guest in a room. But you, but you know, it's a, here's a, here's the weird thing is that I've found my life and Audrey, I know you relate to this now being part of all of this the retreats that we do every year always started with these insane ideas that were you know like so difficult to pull off and everything that's good about the retreat always came from having this ridiculous idea that couldn't really happen or we just didn't have the budget for or and and we would figure out a different way to do something you know for us I know that a huge thing ended up boiling down to being I was very very

specific about curating this sort of soundtrack to the day and we sat together and we were like we really designed the entire music of the day like it was a score that we were composing and that to me the reason i like escape rooms is because i like to create worlds that people walk into and feel like they've truly stepped into a world it's one of the reasons i love universal studios or disney world it's like i love that feeling of immersion and in that small subtle way it felt like even the music throughout the day was like this there's an immersive quality to you're immersed in the movies and the things that we love because there's a subtle soundtrack going on the entire day yeah for sure for sure and it cracked me up when we sent it to you guys it was actually very

funny when um when we were deciding our first dance and the song for our first dance because so we uh we for people who don't know this which is most people we uh kind of didn't know what to have as our first dance and because we're very busy we were like oh well you know we're gonna leave it to the last minute we'll just decide like inspiration will strike and it was like two days before and we were just trying to think of something and we were like well we both love beauty and the bees and it's a bit cheesy, but also who cares? It's only our best friends there. Like, we don't care if it's cheesy.

Maybe we just have Beauty and the Beast. And then, you know, we were really close to our mums and we were like, oh, maybe it would be so lovely if we had, I think back to it and I'm laughing, if we had Beauty and the Beast and if we basically, you know, got our mums to come and halfway through the song, basically we would swap and the beast and if we basically you know got our mums to to come and and halfway through the song basically we would swap and i would dance with my mom and then my mom and then matt would dance with his mom and we were like oh that would be a lovely thing

so we kind of like text you guys and we're like we're gonna do this thing and we then slept on it thank god and uh and the next day we, oh, actually we think maybe we just do like something a bit more classic. We love this song, Moon River. Let's just do this song anyway. So we decided to go for Moon River. And honestly, it was the best decision ever because... We didn't realize how Americans do the first dance.

Right, exactly. So we thought in England, what you do is once you've had dinner and everything is done, you then head over to the dance floor, you cut the cake. The couple then has the first dance and invites the rest of the whole wedding party onto the dance floor. Right. Often like 30 seconds in. So you've only got 30 seconds. So we were like, oh, maybe like this, you know, tell us all this time we'll be playing like 30 seconds in so you've only got 30 seconds right so we were like

oh maybe like this you know tell us all this time we'll be playing for 30 seconds everyone would jump in anyway and yeah like i say maybe 15 minutes before our first dance well before the dinner i should say you guys came over and you're like right so are you ready for your first dance sorry what no I am actually not Tiffany said they didn't look like they were ready for their first you mean in like five courses time right now grand entrance baby what do you mean we're going to dance now yeah yeah dinner. And so then we realized that we walk in, everyone is standing. And staring. And staring. But they're standing on their chairs at dinner,

so they're not even standing in like, there's no movement. Correct. They're just watching. It's all you, baby. They're standing on their chairs. Not on top of their chairs. Next to their chairs. That would be really strange.

They're like, what kind of wedding was this? Standing next to their chairs. Yeah, in front of their chairs. That would be really strange. They're like, what kind of wedding was this? Standing next to their chairs. Yeah, in front of their chairs. Yeah. And then we had to dance the full two and a half minutes of Moon River in front of everyone. We're real glad you didn't do Beauty and the Beast. We slept on it that night too and thought,

how are we going to tell them we can't dance? Behind the scenes, by the way, you're texting me this and I'm sitting in like a tiny little kitchen in Sicily, and I'm at the florist's house, or where he was staying, just surrounded by flowers, and I'm just sitting there like, beauty and the beast. No. Moon River was pretty good.

Well, and I told you guys at the time, right? Moon River is a very sentimental song for us. It was like our, my mom's mom, our grands, it was her song. So like when it comes on, we're always like, she's here. She's like leading us, whatever. And when you said that, I was like, perfect. Of course, that's the song. Of course it's Moon River.

So to us, we were like, it's perfect. Written in the stars. Oh, it was fine when it was your song. But when it was Beauty and the song yeah it had to be something about us how how do you see because i i remember getting really nervous about our wedding in the sense that for me the idea of everyone coming to one place for us was it was just it made me quite self-conscious because I'm not I'm I'm not good at like birthday parties where things are about me and you're not either particularly so the idea of like everyone's going to come to this place for us

made me deeply self-conscious to the extent that I almost like, I was like saying we were at lunch with a couple of friends of ours, Ramit and Cass. And I was like, I think I want to put on the invitation something like you don't have to come. We're going to go to Sicily. We know it's a long way for everyone. It's okay. If you don't want to come. And he was like, what are you? No, you can't put that on your invite. Like it's not, you don't need to apologize on your invite. If people don't want to come, they won't come. But I felt like it was going to put pressure on people and they were going to suddenly feel like, oh my God, I have to now go to this thing because I

love these two, but I don't really want to go and and so all of that went through my mind what how could you speak to the nerves that people feel before any event that often makes them feel like they shouldn't throw it in the first place and I not to get too deep on this but I feel like there's a deep like there's a deep thing going on there for a lot of us where there's some sense of unworthiness oh a hundred where it's just like i'm insecurities yeah like i'm not it's okay like for me it's almost like it's okay if i show up on stage and i'm delivering value for hours and hours and hours to people, but asking people to come to something that's just celebrating us, that felt really indulgent. And I think people can feel that all the way down to, you know, a dinner party where it's like, I'm terrified of throwing a

dinner party. What if people don't show up? What if people don't have a good time? And those kinds of nerves prevent people from ever doing it in the first place which i think is a shame because i think that planning events is is almost one of the great cheat codes to creating real connections with people and expanding your social circle and and you have to be brave enough to access that cheat code because otherwise you'll just never do it. And I'm the person who never does it. And I'm just curious what you think people can do to begin to break down those barriers that they have to putting on events in the first place. Because not everyone listening to this is getting married, but there'll be plenty of people listening

to this who are like, you know what? I, one of my big goals is to build a social circle and when I've done that I want to have a dinner party or I want to throw a July 4th party this year for the first time even if it's for five of my closest friends but they're still nervous about it so could you speak to that I actually was thinking about this and this is, this is kind of a sad insight, but we recently lost a very close friend unexpectedly and it's been really hard. And one of the things that I, and I'm sure Lane has as well, that I have gone back to over and over and over again is every moment that we had with that person, right? That we had together was like these big life moments that we all shared. And those are, you can't even imagine how important

they are until you don't have, you're not capable of having them with that one person anymore. So I think going forward for people, you're so insecure, right? Like you're saying, they're not going to want to come all this way. They're not going to want to do that. They do. They want to be a part of your life. They love you. It's important to them. And with destination weddings all the time, people are like, I just don't want to put people out and make them do this or a house party. And it's like, yeah, but at the end of the day, those are the connections that all of us crave so much. Even me, and I'm like an introvert, want to stay home. I'm the person who's canceling the plans, right?

But looking back, unfortunately, and it's not the insight I want to have, but you're like, damn it. Those are the moments I wish I still had with that person. And so like now when people are saying, hey, we're going out to brunch, come to my house. We're doing this. You're like, yep, I'm there because I want to make sure that I always have those moments with you to look back on. And for weddings, for the bigger things, I'm like, your people want to be there. Yes, of course, everybody gripes about things. And there might be some people who are like, I don't want to travel that far. But honestly,

for the most part, and we deal with people's RSVPs all the time, people are so excited. And when they're your people, they're like, yes, I'm going to be there. I want to be in that moment with you. And I want to have that memory forever. So the people that aren't thinking that way, honestly, let them fall off the RSVP list. You didn't really want them there to begin with. And we have so many more weddings lately that are so much more intimate. You know, 100 people, 150 people.

And it's like, yes, some other people have bigger circles. Sure. But I'm like, 150 people, you curated that you thought like, I want these people there and they want to be there. So throw that out the window and like, move on. Especially post COVID. Yes. Like, after COVID, I think so many people were like, I want life experience. I miss my friends. I miss my family. And I think there is something to be said, like Lindsay was saying about realizing that you're giving these.

Yes, I think it's I think it's a humble and healthy thing. You don't want to be the person who's just like, of course, everyone wants to come to my party. That's not a healthy way to be. It's too much ego. But it's a humble and healthy thing to be thinking about that. But for the most part, that's a gift you're giving them. You're opening your home to them. You're opening your life to them. You are taking a year's worth of stress and giving them this gift of this three-day, whatever kind of party that is, what an amazing gift you just gave them. And yes,

that takes planning and curation and working with people who do care about what that guest experience is that you said that you cared about the soundtrack that you cared about the food all of that is a gift you gave them and losing that insecurity and saying like wouldn't I want to be invited to that right of course I wouldn't and the rest then fine like you said then go to dinner by yourself and don't come don't come to sicily to a perfect wedding fine and have a perfect soundtrack it's connection it's i'm so so happy you said that because i had that feeling one of the moments i felt it the most we were in this you know countryside kind of venue for the wedding but everyone was staying in the nearby town of noto in sicily which for everyone out there if you don't know it's just

this gorgeous sort of semi stuck in time kind of old italian city and uh it's gorgeous but there's not a lot going on there i mean there's a few hotels and restaurants. The main strip is tiny. We know every restaurant. Yeah. And it, it, one of my favorite moments was the morning after the wedding when I think, no, it was the day. It was the, it was the it was the day after the day after because I think we

we slept at the venue at the wedding that night but then the next night we went and stayed in a hotel in Noto and the that morning after so many of our people were still around because they'd spent the weekend there and I remember going to this little coffee shop and just one by one people we knew were walking down the street and just started like pulling up a chair it felt like some old italian godfather scene people just kept pulling up chairs or like oh there you are come come join us i want to tell you a funny story yeah their version of their memory of the night like oh did you see did you see so-and-so doing this? And this was so funny.

Like, it's that shared community. Yeah. And what was so fascinating to me was the appreciation people had for just having had an experience that was not in their normal routine. Exactly. experience that that was not in their normal routine exactly and we're so i think that we are so we so underestimate how much other people are craving an experience that's outside of their routine we so overestimate i think how exciting everyone's lives are all the time and and i know i do i'm i you know so for me what i like, oh my God, we are dragging people from America, people from England, people from other countries to this tiny little city in Southern Sicily.

And what I realized is, oh my God, these people are creating a life memory by doing this. And it may not, you know, i think that lesson works just as well if you're the one throwing a party for july 4th or you're putting even just like a you know a friend of mine recently in los angeles he invited me and my brother steven to his house on a sunday he said i'm just getting like a small group together. And we're just going to do like a little mini several hour health day, like come over, we'll get in the jacuzzi, we'll do some meditation, we'll like eat some nice food. And we went there and it was probably like four or five hours, arrived at his house. And that's exactly what we did. We like, it was like seven men who were all doing like breathing exercises,

then meditating, then getting in jacuzzi, just having smoothies. And I remember, I love you so much. I invite my brother to be friends with you. I know this is like the least like, like there was definitely a new podcast is called bros and smoothies. Stereotypical thing. There was definitely called The new podcast is called Bros and Smoothies.

Bros and Smoothies. Bros and Smoothies. But I remember feeling really grateful to him as the host because I was like I didn't have the guts to arrange this.

Right. This is awesome. But be honest why would you not arrange something like this? Well because five minutes after arranging it i'd be worried that i don't want to have a commitment in my weekend that's i really relate to that no there's

another reason as well oh yeah audrey's like spit it out i don't know why because because you get anxiety about when people are gonna leave oh yeah how do you get them out again like must leave by 9 p.m yeah you just have that little sign to leave early or you're afraid they'll leave too early like an informal like sunday sure you can sure you can say everyone's got to go by 9 p.m ahead of time like so excited to have you here can't wait to do this it's gonna be amazing everyone has to leave by nine because I haven't... It is a weird way to start a party, though.

Like, you have to be out of here by 8.30. It's odd. You know what, though? If you're really close with your friend, imagine all of our friends. They all know that, like,

you should probably leave my house by nine because I'm usually in bed by then, you know what I mean? No one's going to bed. Whereas, like, at Lane's house, I know that, like, we're cracking open

another bottle of wine. Let's just keep it going. But I do think that even just putting a time, like're gonna do this from 12 till 5 i do think that does make it it does it gives you some boundaries whether they adhere to them or not but it gives you that starting spot you're probably a people pleaser though and it's like nine o'clock has come and gone and we're having a great time and they're still here i am but i've learned i've historically a people pleaser but i'm much more whereas in another time in my life if someone invited me somewhere and i

you know didn't want to go i might have said that i had lots on or whatever these days i'm much more likely to be like i'm desperate for a weekend on my own right and i i just need to chill this weekend like i there's so much liberation and being honest just telling people because then you're like i don't have to pretend i i can just be the guy who wants to stay home and watch tv i don't have to lie to you and say i've got a ton of work on yeah especially with your schedule you're you guys are owed a weekend it's like the same for us sometimes i'm like i just don't want to do anything. I just want to sit in my bed. I think we're lucky in this, in these times, our generation, if you will, like. Watch it.

Everybody like is so proud to say that, right? Like on Instagram or whatever, it's the memes like, hey, I'm just the person who needs to not talk to anybody for a whole Saturday. And so it's like, oh yeah, I see you. I'm one of those too. Whereas before it was like, you know, people would be like, she doesn't go anywhere. She doesn't do anything. It's like, no, I just need a I just need a minute yeah to breathe extroverts are really kind of revered in our society and I think introverts are misunderstood

and seen as antisocial the truth is it's not it's not that introverts are antisocial it's that they need a lot of alone time in order to recharge right yes i heard that somewhere and i don't know this is very revolutionary to other people but for me i was like oh my god this is the best way to describe it and it was that extroverts basically feel charged up from being around people and introverts feel depleted from being around people and feel charged up from being on their own so they kind of they need that recharge time it's hard to strike the balance though, right? Because between introversion and extroversion, I find, like if I, because there's also like the badge of honor introverts, on like Instagram and stuff.

Like it's very kind of indulgent and it's very like, and I agree that way very easily because I know I could find any excuse to stay home and so it's it's like it's a strange balance where you have to figure out at what point is this like a nice self-care thing I'm doing for myself and at what point is it just a cop out of ever having to interact with the world that's my life struggle right what you just said right and like I have to let people push me a little bit. Like, just come to the beach. I'm just like, Oh my God, I could sleep in and just like not do anything. And sometimes, yes, that's what I need to do. But other times I need

people to be like, come on, go. But I think that's the thing about, like you're saying, inviting people to these events, whether it's weddings or just a dinner party or come over for a second is you've carved a little space for them and for yourself to be like, I just need you for this little time. Like just come share a moment. And all of us are always like, oh, why did I do that? And then when you do it, you're like, oh my God, that was really cool. That's why we say don't do brunches. It's for the introvert. Don't plan a brunch after a wedding. You've had a normal brunch. Just a Sunday is nice, but you've had three days of events. You've just asked these again.

It's like thinking about for your guests, you've done all of these things for this guest. And then at the end, you've let them party till one o'clock in the morning and then ask them to come to something at 7am or 9am with a burrito. And we're like, they don't want to come. They don't. They don't want to see you again. They don't want to talk about you again. They need a minute they need a minute to have their own bloody mary in their own room by themselves don't you send them some room service that's one i

actually remember think because we had this conflict where we were like well we're bringing people to sicily for a whole weekend we need to have lots of plans for them and one of our friends ramit he actually he he was i think he was in his hotel room because we got our wedding was at like 5 p.m or something wasn't it on the saturday we just had an event on the friday which was just drinks and then saturday we got married at 5 p.m and i was thinking is that enough do people need something to do on the saturday and ramit texted me and he was like, I think it was like midday on Saturday. And he was like, thank you for just making this the kind of weekend where I could like chill, have a coffee, maybe have a little stroll around the town. Like you, you, you allowed us our own time. And I, it really was a lesson for me that people don't want to be

over scheduled well you don't want to make your wedding weekend like a work trip right where someone who works and travels all the time is like yeah i've gone to all those places couldn't tell you what's outside of the hotel because i only work right if you if you have all these people traveling all over the world for your wedding give them a minute give them a minute to explore unless you're like literally providing exploration and we've had people do that. But like, yes, let them sit in their room, let them walk around the town. Like, that's a gift too. They don't want to travel all this way. And they're like, I don't know, I saw one place. I looked at two people for four days straight. Like, yes, I love them. But also I wanted to see Sicily. I wanted to

go to the places that White Lotus was or whatever yes before we go any further with the episode I wanted to make sure that you know my dear listener or watcher if you're watching this on YouTube the live retreat is coming up again from the 9th to the 15th of September 2024. This is not a virtual event. This is you being in person with me for six days. We actually get to give each other a hug when you arrive in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. How amazing is that? We get to meet and spend time together. This is the deepest work I do. It's the most transformational work I do. I've been doing this program for 16 years of my life now,

and it is still the thing I do that I am the most proud of because it works with people on the deepest level of change, on our emotional patterns, on our healing, on our confidence and self-worth. Everything changes in our lives when we get together to do the work that we do on this program. So come join us by going to mhretreat.com. There's a video trailer there of the retreat and everything that it does that you can watch. And if nothing else, come watch the trailer because it's a really enjoyable thing to watch to get an insight into what happens on this week but i hope you'll go one step further than that and actually apply to be with us so that you and i

can spend those six days together this year give yourself the gift of these six magical days and the lifetime of change that will result from them. mhretreat.com is the link. I will see you there. Now back to the episode. I feel like I just want to stick on this for a moment because people who are hearing what you're saying about create a memory, you know in your wedding or in life in general you know you don't have forever with people it's crazy how much we end up appreciating those things that fall outside of our normal routine those are always the things we end up talking about right we don't talk about what we were doing last year on a tuesday it's we don't even remember it so we lose years of our life to the in-between times

and the in-between times end up being the most, the 90% of our life. What would you say to people who this year are, hmm, they're busy. There's always an excuse not to, it's always easier not to but they deep down maybe they should create a memory or they'd like to but there's also that feeling of well what what should i do what should i create what event or experience should i make happen this year that's manageable what would be your answer to that and then i have a follow-up question we had a mother of the bride who I love and still talk to who said to me it was her wedding was planned 2020 and then obviously we delayed it and she ended up getting married at the end of 2021 and we were talking about just like decisions and how many times we were talking and going on and on.

And she was saying, I said, one of the conversations I said, did we already talk about this? And she said, my son said to me that it's hard to make memories when you don't have milestones. And I was like, oh, wow. And she's like, and that's the problem is that our brains are like literally melding this entire time together because everything is the same every single day. And so she's like, I'm so looking forward to my daughter's wedding because I need a milestone. I need a moment that reminds me of that, that this is worth living, you know? And I think it's the same thing. It's like, whether it be like you said, a dinner party, a 4th of July party, a wedding, whatever those might be, those are your defining moments of your life.

And are they hard? And do they take effort? They do. And they take stress and they take all of those things. Nothing in this life that's worth doing doesn't take a little effort and doesn't take planning. So, but the milestones are what we're going to remember. The milestones are when we're going to remember who was there, what were the speeches, what were the how it felt, how it felt, what was the music, all of that. Those feelings are what you're taking away. And that's

not to sound cliche. That is literally the truth. And I think for like families and events or weddings, we always talk about this because there's the dynamic of, you know, grandparents and parents and all of this, and everyone comes to those events with a little bit different thing. And families and grandparents and parents are kind of at those events thinking, I know your moms were like thinking about all the moments that came before, you know, so they're marking time from that, your wedding backwards. And you as a couple are marking time from this event forward and what your lives are going to be like and that moment of that wedding weekend for you guys in sicily or for anybody is if we can capture that where those two circles

intersect and make time stand still then we've marked time for you that will always be there. And so I think all of us are working for that. The clients are working for that. We're working for that. And that's what makes our lives all worthwhile at the end of the day. Is it really pretty? We really hope so.

Is it all these things? But at the end of the day, we want that moment as much as you guys do. We're saps. We cry every freaking time you know so that's amazing i love what you said that's so beautiful thank you for prompting me what do you what are the if if there are any just key rules or principles to having a great event what are they trust your planner

there's probably a lot of them like i'm always imagining like someone if we boil it down to like a micro situation i'm having 10 people over this saturday for dinner the moment they walk through the door i'm anxious that they're not having a good time or that they're like standing around and i don't know what to do with them dinner's not for an hour and a half and what do we do with these people they're here now so what when will they leave how long are they gonna be here uh what are the principles about you know how we either overthink those moments or what are the best ways to entertain your guests what are the principles about, you know, how we either overthink those moments or what are the best ways to entertain your guests? What are the best ways to create an environment where people are having a good time and they're not standing around going, why did I come here?

I think what you said in the beginning though, of planning your guys's wedding is if you're always leading everything with guest experience in mind, you rarely fail because ultimately you're doing the best you can, right? Whether it be, you know, it feels like there should be music or, you know, okay, well, they're going to be here for an hour and a half before we have dinner. Do we have something for them to drink and eat beforehand? Is there a game on? Is there whatever it is that's entertaining? Are you thinking about your guests in terms of what we have actually thinking about who's coming? Well, they're thinking it's a Sunday and they're going to be wanting to do this on a Sunday

and the wives are going to be wanting to do this or the whoever it is. That sounds cliche, but whatever it is that they're interested in, what are you taking them away from in order to be where they are? You know, so how are you serving them in that way? It's like, we have a stationer that we love working with all the time and she's always like, those are acts of service. If you're thinking about that, then the rest is just,

it will fall in line because you're constantly planning based on what that experience should feel like for, for your guest. And I think don't overthink it, right? It's like put on some music. Don't have it be dead silent. Have something for them to drink and a little something to nibble on and the rest falls into place. Right.

It's awkward when it's dead silent. And then it's like, did you want me to come over here or what are we doing? Right. So it's like, what are the things? Yes. Yes.

It feels intentional. And that could be simple as like lighting a candle and having music that's literally it you walk into someone's house and you're like they knew i was coming they wanted me here i think i like this i like this because i i feel like we could create like a list that's actually super practical to people and it sounds so silly it's almost like do we even need to point these things out but i I think we do. So, okay, light candles. That says I'm being intentional about creating an experience. Music.

Music when they come in. Having a drink ready. Always. It doesn't have to be alcoholic. So many of our friends and clients now have all the non-alcoholic things, right? But you know your friends. Whatever little thing that's gonna make them relax and i'm here now i just left work there was traffic i'm gonna relax i'm

gonna have a drink i'm gonna have something else whatever chills you out and you're lighting yeah lighting not the light super bright i'm gonna say just trying which is difficult especially for people with families but like toning down the chaos of your life acting as if you're ready for them welcome welcoming them which isn't always sometimes you're rushing to but it's like sometimes I'm like okay dogs in the garage kids are upstairs watching tv music's on there's food there's a drink now come into my house I just I just made a moment of serenity for you you know which can be stressful for the host for sure for 10 minutes. And I think, yeah, don't undercut yourself. So many people have people come into their house and like, oh, I'm sorry.

It's a mess. I'm sorry. Like, I didn't think about this. They don't care. Nobody cares. So they really don't care. Have you ever gone on to over to one of your friend's house and been like, oh, my God, I saw a laundry basket. Like, yeah, they're a human.

There's a laundry basket. Then don't invite those people back if they care. Most people don't care. Obviously, I'm sure if you're like having- I'm the one judging you for the laundry basket. But wait, okay, wait. I want more of these things. Okay.

So candle, music, flowers, drink ready, snacks. I mean like from Trader Joe's. How do you, what about if you're like, oh, but no one's going to want that snack? Just be pretty generic here. Like some cheese and crackers. At the very least, I'm going to eat a cracker if I'm vegan. And maybe some veggies.

And if you're me, all the cheese. Like you don't, you don't have to overthink it. It's honestly, so people are not, I don't know if anyone else has this food anxiety where you do go to an event and there is no food and there's no what and you're just like when are they going to serve the dinner yes I'm so stressed I didn't eat today I had two meetings whatever at lunchtime and then I drove here and I haven't eaten and you're like you don't have a cracker I'm dying those are things to think about right so I guess think about yourself what would you want to walk into a house and have what what

about like where you lead people so that it's arranged in a way that's conducive to people kind of actually socializing do you lead them all to the sofa but then everyone's sort of stuck on the sofa and then they just might not get up again spread things around a little bit so snacks in different parts you know like also just guest count also matters yeah guest count but you just don't want everything focused on like one table yeah because then everyone's just standing around that one table staring at each other eating nuts or whatever i was gonna say small snacks on a coffee table and that's you know whatever little mini things and then if you have a kitchen island or a dining table that's

nearby that's where you're putting bigger snacks people you do want people to get up and mingle and then it's like they're talking over here with the dining table and yes a good flow spreading it out for sure I know you guys throw a lot of themed parties or certainly I know that you guys threw one particular theme party which I love which was all wild west uh cowboy themed and and so obviously this you know people have different budgets when it comes to theme parties so being respectful of different kinds of budgets how would you recommend someone for a themed party because matt and i are big fans of we like to theme our days sometimes so let's say we have a japanese movie we want to watch we will also order japanese food in order

to try and match the day and you know we try and kind of bring a little bit of life to to events in that way and to even just small things but if you're throwing a party whether it be for 10 people 50 people whatever it might be and you want to theme it do you have any advice on how to do that in an easy way you're not talking about fancy dress though I just want to clear that because you're you're talking about just theming the like the the creating the world of yeah like when when we when we have our japanese day for instance we don't dress in kimonos but i would like to see that but i will i will say i mean the three most i would curious if yours are the same as mine i'm gonna say food att attire, and music. Well, I think, yes, because obviously, but I think, and this goes for interior design

too, right, is I can't remember who said this and I wish I could so I could give them credit. But when you're theming something, you're not thinking about I'm theming it because this is how like I'm just going to put all the cowboy hats or whatever. What would it actually be like to be in that space? So yes, what would i eat if i was genuine instead of like i'm just gonna paint a cowboy hat on here and that's my theme and it's so it's too kitschy right it's not the actual thing instead of saying if i was in 1910 in the wild west like what would the music sound like what would we be eating what would the furniture

look like we i'm going real deep obviously you're really speaking to my heart with this, by the way. Seriously. That's all budget and scale, right? So if you're just talking about a smaller, maybe something that you're not investing a huge amount of money on, you can always ask people to dress a certain way. You have food, you have music. As you get further into an event, that's the harder you can go well yes you can lean in more and more obviously but and then um i had another one i lost it but i think yeah not thinking about what the theme is like i'm gonna throw up on it but what would it actually be to like if your kid wanted a basketball themed room right and you weren't just putting

basketballs everywhere you're like what would a basketball player actually want in their room and i'm going to lean into that and it's that feeling versus like it's not cheesy right it's not as contrived it's a theme so there should be some you know effort in that regard but i think to me that's my husband always says my husband likes to surf likes to travel and surf and i'm when we first met i'd always be like oh what about this surf piece of art and he's like real surfers don't want a surfboard on their wall like I'm like they don't but like this is a picture of a guy surfing he's like yeah I don't want a pic I want to go to the wave I want our house to feel like a surfer lives here not so there's actually surfboards over here but not one he's like i want real surfboards

in the garage put the money towards that you don't want it to be like the you know like if it's london themed it shouldn't look like the london gift shop i was just gonna say you don't want to look like the disney store when you're walking out yeah the souvenir shop at the airport exactly that's a bad thing what would a pub on oxford street actually look like then you dive into that you got to go more in there yeah yeah music is literally one of the biggest free huge like that is such a free immersion touch yes and i feel like people get that wrong all they just don't think about it and then they panic and the doorbell rings and it's like turn on some music and it's like yes the wrong playlist comes on you're like

it was a japanese party like 1920s night and there's like taylor swift playing and like what are you doing this should be like yeah oh that's actually a great point anything that we always say don't like that would peel back the curtain theoretically speaking and that peels back the curtain if all of a sudden it's like oh i'm in my like flapper attire and taylor swift comes on you're like wait it's the record stop right what am i again whereas if the music stays that way the party it stays dark smoky whatever you're never leaving that moment the curtain's never been peeled back they forget they're in this house they're in the club in 1920 like you yes you gotta lean in firstly you are so good at what you do the three of you thank you thank you so good like genuinely we you know i you i feel like a good

analogy for this is the the music stuff because you know when when at the very beginning of the process you said to the two of us what's most important to you and I loved that process that we went through where you started by just getting us focused on what's actually important to you and one of the things that kept coming up was for both of us but I was like really oh yeah anal about this was the music I actually I filled out that form that you sent us because you guys sent us this amazing form which had like so many questions around like vision

and taste and colors and things. And I like wrote it all out and talk about someone being more involved in the process at that time. I filled out the whole thing and then I brought it to Matt and I was like, just so you know, I filled this out. Could you want to look at it and just see if you want to add anything? And he was like, yeah, fine, yeah fine fine fine and then the music when

he was just like adding in all these paragraphs about i love it it's true by the way we touch back to those constantly like when we're planning your wedding it's not that we forget but it's like we have to circle back to like to remind us and i was very stressed about the music for your wedding i was stressed about the music because i was like, this really, you know, this matters so much to me. I adore music. I was a DJ for over 10 years. I was like, I need, the music cannot be bad at our wedding.

Well, and you understand, man, it kills it. Huh? It kills it. It kills it. Like the wrong DJ at our wedding. By the way, we had like the greatest wedding DJ that I've ever seen at a wedding. Like our DJ, you found us was exceptional.

When that came down to finally at the end, I'm like, sorry, fuck it. We're flying someone from the United States. Cause I need to know I have to trust them. It's too important. It's so important to them.

And there are you guys, there are people that we have that they don't even know what song ever they want to walk down the aisle to they're like can you just pick our ceremony songs and i'm not knocking them there's other things that are more important to them but i'm just like to me i'm like oh my god i mean i picked every song from our wedding like what the prelude of when people were arriving like so i understood so i'm just like it's got to be we have to fly somebody in it has to be the best but it wasn't even we didn't even it wasn't spending tons more money it just

is taking the time like that's important to me so I'm going to focus on finding the right person and like yeah yeah it also comes down to you know we're happy to take money away from somewhere else to put into this because this is that important and but the but the analogy i was going to draw is the i'm super snobby when it comes to music and you know finding the right music for an event and anyone who comes to our retreat knows that but i feel the same way about event planners because we've been running this pro we've been running events for 15 years out for our retreat. It's two to 300 people. When we do a tour, it's a thousand, 2000 people at a time.

And that those events are everything to me. And we have internally incredible events people so like when it came to like this is an area where i don't know weddings but i know events and when i met you you're the entire experience with you from start to finish you guys are on a different level like what you're doing and your depth of knowledge what you're able to pull off the the way that you did, you know, you talked about energy, the calm that you bring to the process while you're doing extremely difficult things that people holding a wedding couldn't do on their own, wouldn't have the knowledge, wouldn't have the experience, don't understand how to reach out to people in the right way, the contacts, the resources. It is like you guys are, for me, like everyone else is playing for second because what you're doing is really amazing. It's like even listening to you on theming, like that's my world. I care deeply about that subject.

And it's, you're right on point. Like you're many levels ahead of anyone else i've met in this area thank you so much i mean that like it is something that definitely is stressful and all of those things but it is something that we're very passionate about in terms of like we do walk into every space and think okay well how would, how would that flow? What would make that better? And it's not like a judgmental thing. It's just how our brains think. And so it becomes more innate, right? To constantly be thinking about an event in that way. Like what could go wrong? How do we fix that prior? What's going to elevate it? What's going to be over the top and too much for the moment? You know, it's also that editing, editing,

re-editing, looking at it again, talking about it again, fighting about it again, you know, going through all of those things. And what Lindsay said to going back to what has been your, your guys's wants and needs and priorities and saying,

are we continually re-putting that in so that it's not just serving the 200 people that are there, but is it reserving what you guys want as well? Um, because you can have the best wedding in the world, but if the couple's like, yeah, but I never got to do this, you know, and I think this is good and bad in our lives, but we are so hyper aware of how people feel like just noticing someone's uncomfortable in a situation or whatever. And that matters to us. Like we are genuinely thinking about like, they have a lot of grandparents. They're probably going to get cold. We need to get those little things. You know, when you go skiing, they crack open and put in their hands and they're warm. We've had back warmers and blankets and heaters,

all the things that just like layers, but it it's just it's honestly just because we like it makes us uncomfortable to see somebody else uncomfortable which is great sometimes I wish I didn't care as much in my normal life it's like oh my god I can't fix it I'm at somewhere else you know but that's that's what that's a huge part of what makes you guys special is I always I always tell this story of you know the first time I ever went to Disney World when I was like 13 years old and this sort of unlikely thing that moved me about the experience.

And it was the, you know, Space Mountain was amazing. The big rides were amazing. Tower of Terror and all of these things. But the thing that stuck with me about disney world was the trash cans because in every land the trash cans were designed for that particular land right and i later found out that not only are the trash cans all designed for each land but they're retractable trash cans they retract into the ground you'll never see them changing a trash can at disney because they go down into a basement level get emptied underground and then they just go back

up into the trash can which is it just extraordinary and it moved me that someone cared enough about the trash cans that they didn't phone those in they could have said walt disney could have said space mountain is an amazing ride no one's paying attention who cares about the trash cans we got space mountain and you didn't say that they designed the trash cans and that that it was an emotional thing for me that never left me and you guys pay so much attention to the trash cans. It's the magic. It's the magic. It's the magic. We care. And I'll say this because like, yes, I feel that way about, we grew up in Southern California, right? So we're Disneyland people

that impacted our life in that way too. But my mom always made Christmas magic for us. Like the presents weren't under the tree until the morning because it was like, we came out to this whole thing, like this whole experience. Right. And so for us, that is, I can't even like put enough emphasis on how important that is to us that when not just for the bride and groom or the bride and bride, groom and groom, whatever it may be, come in and they feel that way because they've been talking to us through the process. Right. But we want all of the guests to leave that experience and be like, what was that? What was that? Did you see that menu? Like the, I, I picked up that menu in the tech, even for you guys. Right. I could tell that that was, each one was designed and it was unique

or whatever. Like we want all of those little moments for everybody. We even think about what's going in the bathroom, what all of that stuff. We honestly, if budget allowed, would care too much about literally everything, the screws and the wood floors. You know what I mean? Like, of course, budget always comes into play. But we walked on that first night, we walked down the street in no tow. And someone asked us, I think on the bus, one of your team asked us, what do you want to drink? And I was like, what do you mean? What do we want to drink? We're on the bus right of your team asked us what do you want to drink and I was like what do you mean what do we want to drink we're on the bus right now we're just going to the town and so we said well I was like yeah Aperol Spritz I guess and then as we're walking down the street

in Noto someone comes to give us an Aperol Spritz on the way to the venue like you got Audrey sneakers to dance in because you knew her wedding shoes would hurt to dance in like those details were unbelievable because it makes us feel good so selfishly it's like god yes nailed it like look how happy she is like we want that moment for and I like I said it's because of like those Christmas moments and the way that we grew up. It's like that experience. So it's like it makes us feel so freaking good. Do you think that's where it comes from? Oh, 100%.

100%. And we're just obsessive to a fault where it's just like, nope, that's still not right. It's still, you know, like all of our vendors that we work with so much and we're so freaking lucky that we have such great teams around us that travel over the world, but they know, and they know between the three of us, what makes, yes, what's important. And it's like, oh, here comes Lindsay. She's going to care about this. And obviously we're, we take it very serious to be nice to everybody. So we say it in a kind way, but it's like, here comes Lane. She's going to adjust that again again because if it's not perfect and it's like no it does matter the little thing and i'm not talking about house parties because honestly i don't want to stress

people out but for us when you're saying we're producing these events that take people spend years planning or so much freaking money like we're not gonna give up yeah but we're gonna like i want to go back because it is about the house party in a way because because that's what inspired you what inspired you was not a million dollar budget christmas what inspired you was the presence no it was not a million dollars but that's my point i can use your computer three years ago but it was wrapped up really pretty every time but something spoke to you about the details even on that level and the the time that the presents were put out because that made more of an impact when you walked into the room and it's like those those things i'm i

think we're right now what we're talking about is a much bigger conversation because it's applicable to everyone in life. Like I, I urge everyone listening to this or watching this to look at what are the trash cans of your life? What are the trash cans of the way you approach your work? What are the trash cans of the way you approach your relationships? Because those will, those will change the game for you.

It's not an accident that you guys are where you are. It's so, it's so clear to me. And I, it's not an accident that you guys are where you are it's so it's so clear to me and i it's a i i could go on all day about this because it's it really speaks to my heart what what you guys pride yourselves on is the same thing we pride ourselves on yeah in what we did we're so we're so much more connected than i ever could have imagined when we first met. I didn't know I'd connect with you over Disneyland trash cans. But when you said trash cans, I'm like, I already know where it's going to go with this.

Because, yes, I did touch for that. I think whether it be at your house party or your event or at Disneyland, it's anticipating how that's going to affect something. And whether it's anticipating a need or an experience or anticipating like oh that could be a problem and doing something about it proactively and being aware of it is I think one of our skills even design but even like what you're saying like we're constantly our team is constantly scanning the crowd for anything that we see like whether it's someone rubbing their arms and they're cold, you know, making sure they have a pashmina, making sure it's something where you see somebody looking around, they've lost something, somebody go.

So it's anticipation of what somebody needs or wants or doesn't even know they need and want and providing that. And that's circling back to way earlier on in the conversation what everybody wants to feel taken care of yep the end yep nobody wants to feel the end we all want to be seen taken care we all have different love languages yes but is it like when you're throwing an event especially a big one small one whatever are you like even if you didn't hit it right that the fact that you tried the fact that you had me over and you lit the damn candle and oh my god you went to the grocery store and got a couple flowers like

you cared that i was coming over so like you're taking care of me that feels good right i want it more than ever this world i'm like man just make people feel good i need it this is so good i i love this i i feel like we got my mind i'm like we gotta get you doing a master class for our love life club members like you this would be an amazing master class like for for people to do and take whether it's on throwing a party or the experience like creating an experience because that's that's also true in your relationship it's like yeah absolutely what's the experience you're creating in your relationship does someone does your partner associate you with excitement or right and then you took care of them yeah that feeling of like

you know you can you can create that experience taking your partner on a morning breakfast if you like if you really think about the experience you're creating breakfast because so it was my husband and i's 12th wedding anniversary i said i woke up and i was like said to my daughter i was like it's daddy nice 13th wedding anniversary today and then my sister-in-law text and she was like happy 12th wedding anniversary i was like it's daddy and i 12th wedding i forgot um i also actually forgot it was our anniversary my mom gave me that too but we had there was a bunch going on it had been a long weekend and i'm romantic he's not like he he shows his love in acts of service he is the person who's gonna fix the roof when it's leaking

he's a fireman so that's how he shows his love i'm always like are you taking me out to dinner what's the plan where's the romance all the things So that night he's like, what I'm going to do is I'm going to leave the house and here's your bottle of champagne. I'm going to take the kids with me while I go to the grocery store. You're going to watch the Grammys. And I was like, yeah, I am. That's what's going to happen. And then he in silence and he was only gone for an hour and he came back and he also made breakfast for dinner, which is also not my favorite. It's his, but the point was he turned on the music. He turned the TV off. We had champagne. He made things that he was good at making. We had dinner at the dinner table with the kids

on food they liked. And I was looking at him and I'm like, so I could take this one way or the other, right? I could be like, we didn't plan something. This isn't all about me, you know, all the things, or I could take it. I like the music, the lighting's right. He's has intention. He shows up good and their champagne. So it is also perspective on that. But that's also perspective on his intention and the way he showed up for that moment and that event of our lives you know and knowing that that was his intention and it felt good that he was trying you know and and honestly looking back did i really want to get dressed and go to a restaurant not really so it was perfect well i feel like there's so much more i want to talk to you about i i feel like there's a

this has sparked ideas for me there's i i always had the impression when we got married and you guys planned our wedding the execution of it was so exceptional that i remember having this thought like oh we're gonna like do a lot with these people i don't know what we said this earlier earlier in the process i think it was like very early on we were like i feel like this is the beginning of something really special and i don't know what it is yet like that's forming in my mind but there's there's so much more i want to do with you guys and there's so many different things we're going to be creating over the next 10 years that i could see you guys being a part of for we just want to be invited over for a drink and dinner we'll leave by seven champagne cheese still learning

your love language barbie martinis oh martinis okay done we'll leave by nine oh the time will be on the invite but i for, for now, for, God, there's, I wish you were available to everyone. And you're not. Because you guys are exclusive and I know that you don't work with a lot of people. But for the people that are hearing all of this, and, you know, I know there's two strands to what you do.

There's an event planning and a wedding planning side and there's a interior design side which is also an exceptional part of your business that we haven't even touched on you don't have to listen to you for very long to understand you have great taste for people that want to work with you in some way what is how do they reach out to you what is the best point of access for you guys well like honestly it's funny that like you're right we only do work with a select number of people but like we're very hopefully it comes off this way we're very open and casual so like people ask us questions on instagram all the time like do you mind telling me where you got that linen or like what kind of flower that is?

Like, we're pretty successful. If we don't answer it, it's because we didn't see it. You know what I mean? Like too many come through. But like, yes, just what do they say? Slide into our DMs. So what is your Instagram? It's Lyndon Lane.

L-Y, yeah, it's just L-Y-N-D-E-N-L-A-N-E. And we'll link everything in the show notes as well. And we have a form on our website. You can email us too. I mean, we've had other planners who are starting off in their career and they're just like, would you mind if I could just talk to you for just 20 minutes?

I just have a question. And it's like, yeah, dude. Also sometimes we're learning things from them too. Oh, well we have people that we still talk to. Right.

But like, why wouldn't I want to help somebody, whether it's somebody planning their own event or an actual planner like all i would have wished for 15 years ago was someone huge to tell me like hey these are the small things that would help so we actually like to do that yeah and yeah just just talk to us is there is your interior design stuff in the same place as the wedding so what's the website just so lindenlane.com and instagram is linden lane today is just a continuation of what has been an amazing process with you guys and a relationship that we now treasure as a result of what we've been through with you and um i genuinely am excited for the next 10 years for what it could

look like so thank you for coming thank you email us and let us know what you thought of this episode it's something different to our typical episode but i think that this is as crucial as anything else we're doing because it's to do with relationships it's to do with the experience you create for other people i'm so happy we ended up there on the arc of this episode. What experience are you creating for other people? And we talk a lot, I talk in the new book about the magic that we create in the world with who we are and the energy that we put out. And you guys are as true a representation of that

as I've ever seen. So thank you for coming. Email us podcast at matthewhussey.com and let us know what you thought of this episode and if you'd like us to do this again what would you like us to talk about next time do you like the idea of a master class with lyndon lane inside the love life club let us know or an episode on interior design yeah or that too yeah let us know we want to hear your feedback but thank you for being here. Thank you guys. You know we love you guys.

I hope you enjoyed that. Leave me a comment. Let me know what you thought of that episode. What was the number one takeaway that you took from it? Send us a message, podcast at MatthewHussey.com and let us know what you thought of this episode. Don't forget to grab a copy of my new book, Love Life. It's available for pre-order right now

and there are still some great bonuses that you can be a part of by pre-ordering now if you wait till it comes out you will miss those pre-order bonuses so go check it out at lovelifebook.com and thank you as always for listening to the Love Life Podcast. Be well and love life.