Love Life with Matthew Hussey - 236: Why You Should Feel Confident NOW

Starting point is 00:00:00 What we're not so much in the habit of doing, which is a shame, is looking down and seeing how far by this yeah what do you mean by this what do i mean by this i wanted to make a podcast episode that helped people feel more confident in 10 minutes. So let's try this. So much of our insecurity comes from focusing on what we don't have in the present, what we think we're not good at, what we think we're lacking, what we're worried about in the future.

Starting point is 00:00:57 And so much of that to me is kind of being on the side of the mountain, looking up and seeing how far it feels like there is to go. And the truth is in life, there'll always be further to go up the mountain, right? That's never going to not be the case. There's always going to be some other level. There's always going to be something we haven't achieved or some way that we feel like other people have overtaken us in life, or we're not exactly where we thought we would be by now. But what we're not so much in the habit of doing, which is a shame, is looking down and seeing how far up the mountain we have already come. I have this awful habit. I've had it forever in my life. And this is the reason why I

Starting point is 00:01:39 come up with ideas like this is because I've had to use them for myself. This habit of waking up in the morning in a place of deficit, you know this, we've talked about it. It's a horrible feeling of waking up feeling like almost starting the day from a point of going, I'm not enough. I haven't done enough. I'm not far enough. I need to do more. I need to do so much today that by the time i go to bed although i'm dying on my feet and i feel like i've exhausted myself and nearly burnt out i earned my medal today it's almost like going back to a place of like equilibrium yeah it's not starting from a place of abundance no but it's starting like instead of starting neutral which is what what most people do, right? You start from a place of deficit and then by the end of the day, you land yourself in the neutral place. Yes.

Starting point is 00:02:31 And you never even really feel abundant. You never really feel like you've gone over and beyond, even if you actually have killed yourself trying to. And so much of that is not valuing and appreciating what's already happened, what's already gotten done, what's already been done. And also what I've already proven. You know, there's so many people out there that are feeling insecure and not confident because they're not looking at the battles they've already won. They're not focusing on the hard things they've already gotten over. Think of something in your life today that scares you. Like everyone out there right now, think of something that you feel overwhelmed by or something you feel scared by. You don't know how you're going to get through it or you are feeling insecure about approaching this situation where you could get rejected or something could go wrong or you could be denied. Now pause on that and go down a different train of thought.

Starting point is 00:03:39 Think about the hardest things in your life that you have had to overcome. Look at the span of your life and all of these difficult things, because everyone has had them. I know you have had some tremendously difficult things happen to you in life. You have gone through some exquisite pain. Maybe you went through some of it as a child, some of it in your twenties. Maybe you had something really terrible happen in your thirties or forties or fifties, but there have been things in your life that have gone wrong, unexpected tragedies, incredible mental tests. And not all of them are external. Some of them are things that you've had to overcome mentally and psychologically.

Starting point is 00:04:35 They're things that have had their origins on the inside. Battles with mental health, you know, certain ways that you're wired that have been really difficult to overcome. And think of how you've overcome some of those things. Or even if you haven't overcome them, think about how you've weathered the storms. Think about the things that you've managed to live in spite of. What reasons do you have already in your life to feel extraordinarily confident about your abilities, about your level of resilience? I sometimes think this, I think about things I'm worried, how am I going to get through this? And then I go, this is nothing. This is nothing compared to things I've already been through.

Starting point is 00:05:32 There are things I've been through that are so much worse. They're so much harder. Why on earth do I worry that I won't be able to get through this now. I've already been through worse. Or think about some of the good things in your life. We don't just have to go to the bad stuff that you've overcome. Think about the things in your life that have their origins in a risk you took five years ago or 10 years ago or 20 years ago. A chance you took, an opportunity you seized, a bravery with which you approached something unknown and new to you. Tried something different even though it was uncomfortable. Met a friend because you took a risk in asking someone to coffee. Learned a new hobby because you were brave enough to try something that you had no experience in, but gradually got good at. And it's now a source of comfort and joy and passion

Starting point is 00:06:33 in your life. The job that you have that you had to work insanely hard to create for yourself. Think of the good things in your life that you take for granted today as sources of comfort that have their origins in you being brave. Have their origins in you taking a risk or doing something difficult or uncomfortable. Think about everything you've already created in your life. And then consider that you're now someone who's wiser and more experienced and more worldly than you were back then. Consider that you have new tools and new resources on top of what you had back in those times. If you were able to do that then, consider what you're able to do now with all of these new tools and these new resources. To me, there is something wildly exciting about realizing that it was the old me who in many ways was less capable than me today, who was able to create all of this and get me this far.

Starting point is 00:07:47 So imagine where this me can get me. So many of us are trying to locate this feeling of confidence in the present or in the future when so much of our confidence can be sourced from the past. Confidence can come from looking backwards. So make a list before you leave this episode. Take out a piece of paper and write down the difficult things you've overcome in your life that should show you that there's nothing that can come up that you can't deal with. Nothing you can't get through. Because you look at the battles you've already won. Look at the things you've already overcome.

Starting point is 00:08:33 Make a list of all of the things that you have in your life today. Because at some point you took a risk and you were creative or you did something uncomfortable. You seized an opportunity or you worked hard to make something of yourself. Write that list. And then stand back from both of those lists and go, look at what I'm already capable of based on what I've already done. scared of this challenge that's in front of me today? Or is that just another challenge a person is facing in a long history of overcoming challenges? And ask yourself that question when you zoom out. If me yesterday or last year or 10 years ago was able to do all of this. What is a wiser and more astute me with more tools able to do today? Write to us, podcast at Matthew Hussey, and let us know how this affected you. Grab a copy of the new book. If you haven't already, love life.

Starting point is 00:09:44 Some of you are still writing to us, letting us know that you didn't know we had a new book. So we have a book, love life, how to raise your standards, find your person and live happily no matter what. Doing some amazing prizes for anyone who gets a copy of the book. You're entered into a prize draw for some, we're giving away some free retreats. We're giving away some free one-on-ones with me, private coaching with me for a group of people. We're giving away some Love Life sweatshirts, just like the one Audrey is wearing right now, if you're watching this on video. And a bunch of other really fun goodies, sign books and whatnot. Plus, even if you don't win

Starting point is 00:10:22 any prizes, which a bunch of you will, you'll also get a ticket to an event I am doing on May the 4th. Audrey's going to be there as well. It's called Find Your Person, and it's going to take all of the ideas in the book and make them practical for your life this year in showing you how to find your person. So go grab a copy at lovelifebook.com. I'll see you over there. And of course, on the 23rd of April, you will be delivered your brand new book. It is here. Finally, after four years of work, the book actually comes out this month. So exciting. Thank you so much for watching or listening to the podcast. We'll see you next time. Be well and love life.

Love Life with Matthew Hussey - 236: Why You Should Feel Confident NOW

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