Love Life with Matthew Hussey - 3 Simple Secrets to Making a First Date Less Awkward

Episode Date: April 4, 2016

Imagine it’s your first date with a guy you’re really into. You’re sitting across the table from him in a romantic, candlelit restaurant. You make some small talk, share a nervous laugh, and then, suddenly…you can’t think of anything to say. It’s the dreaded Awkward Silence, where one minute feels like 10, and you don’t know how you’ll recover. WAIT… before you get yourself in this situation in the first place, I have 3 simple secrets that will make your date fun, effortless, and full of the sparks that build a connection. (Don’t miss this episode, if for no other reason than I guarantee Secret #2 is something you’ve never thought of before!)

Hi, I'm Matthew Hussey. Welcome to Love Life. It's a privilege to be able to offer you bite-sized bits of advice on this podcast that you can use every day. But what if you're ready for a big transformation and you want to do it now? You want to reinvent your career or finally find lasting love or break free from the self-doubt that's holding you back from living the abundant life you were meant to live. If you're saying, yes, Matt, that's me, I'm going to tell you exactly how to do just that at the end of today's show. So make sure you stay tuned. First, let's get to today's episode. Today, we are talking about three secrets to making a first date less awkward. I have three quick ways for you to do this. The first one is touch early and often. Now, what most people do,

the mistake they make is they say, I don't know this person very well, and I certainly don't want to seem too keen. So I'm not going to get very tactile with this person in the beginning. I'm going to just let us warm up through the date. The problem with that is the longer you leave it before introducing touch, the more awkward touch becomes. So touch allows us to create these levels, which make a smoother transition between each stage. You as a woman have a power to do this. If you initially see him and you give him a big hug. I mean, look, the guy came out to see you. You're both together. It's a great moment that you both showed up for each other. Give him a hug.

Give him a kiss on the cheek if you want. It's absolutely fine. It doesn't come across as desperate. You just look like a woman who's warm. Same goes for you guys. If the woman looks a little uncomfortable, don't be afraid to lean in and give a hug. It doesn't have to be suggestive.

It's just a way to introduce physical contact. You can also do this throughout the day by resting your hand on his shoulder when you make a point or touching him very briefly. If you're trying to wake him up from a little moment of you both being distracted, those little touches are crucial when it comes to building that connection. The second thing is don't sit opposite each other. Immediately, you end up creating awkwardness because of course, when there's a silence, there's nowhere for you to look. You can't look over his shoulder or to your left.

Whereas if you're sitting either adjacent to someone or next to them in like a park bench style, you can watch the world together. It's almost like you're people watching. So now when there's an awkward silence, it's not actually awkward, it's just a silence because you're both looking out onto the world together. It's almost like you're people watching. So now when there's an awkward silence, it's not actually awkward, it's just a silence because you're both looking out onto the world. When you're ready to regain the conversation,

you can turn to your side and say, oh, I really wanted to tell you about this thing and carry on. So do not ever be in that place where you're opposite each other, sit next to him or adjacent to him. Lastly, do something that involves you actually having some level of external focus. And I'm going to say this bluntly, the worse you are at conversation, the more

external focus you need. Now that might be something on the more extreme end of say a museum where there's tons of external activity or a comedy show where you're both focused on something outside of yourselves. But on the more subtle end, it could just be taking a walk. where you're both focused on something outside of yourselves. But on the more subtle end, it could just be taking a walk. If you know that there's a great river near where you are, go walk along the embankment of that river. That's a great thing to do because you know there is external stimuli outside of you that you can look at. Or even sitting down, you can achieve this. If you were sitting on a busy park bench, people watching, and and there was all this activity around you it allows you to comment on things outside of yourselves as opposed to having the sole focus be on the two of you and the conversation you're having

so touch early and often don't sit opposite the guy sit next to him or adjacent and create external activity or put yourself in an area where there is external activity so that you're not just focused on each other. Those are quick ways to create less awkwardness on a date. I look forward to hearing your results. Let me know how you get on on your first date using these tips. You can either come to howtogettheguy.com and comment there, or you can leave us a comment, hashtag love life on Twitter, and please be sure to share this episode via Twitter or Facebook. Now, if you said earlier, yes, Matt, I'm ready for a big life transformation now, then I want to invite you to apply for my retreat program. Now, spots are limited, but if you're accepted onto the program,

I'll lead you through a series of powerful coaching sessions and enlightening exercises that will remove every barrier standing in between you and the extraordinary life you deserve. You'll walk away with a practical set of tools to achieve the career, love, balance, and fulfillment you've always wanted. To claim your spot for a phone interview with one of my expert mentors, just go to lovelifepodcast.com forward slash retreat. Take care and I'll speak to you soon.